Whoa..... I just happened to run into your video tonight. I had severe ADHD when I was younger as I was so spazzy and hyper but it kind of mellowed I think in my older age as I am 50 now. However my family say I still have adhd so who knows. I did not know it was typical for Adhd people to dump on ourselves that much. I am so self critical and many times I fear that I am going to hell for my sins and that I am unloved and a train wreck. I kind of opened myself up to the destruction though for many years I was stuck in addictions and sins of all types, (even when I loved and professed to be a christian I had fallen to the carnal nature) It has been a really tough life but it has gotten better and all my depression and anxiety went away when I got over some familiar sins and some familiar demons were sent away, as it says in scripture(resist the devil and he will flee from you. I got off all drugs and carnal stuff and I am living for Jesus. I guess I kind of thought that ya I have messed up my life bad with a really bad addiction history and crazy city life and all that entails but Jesus loves me and his mercies are new every day. I am addicted to Jesus now and he is my life. thanks for making the video. You helped me. and I wish you the best. See you online or in paradise. from canada.....Darren.
@planes3333 thankyou for sharing this with me. I really struggled with whether I was going to share it or not. I've always thought of my issues like ADHD as non-glorifying to God so it was a "throw away" thing I shouldn't talk about, but God really pressed me to share it. I'm so thankful you are still in Love with Jesus. That is so important! He really is the best addiction to have. The only one that doesn't ruin lives! The addiction that gives back and doesn't take everything good from your life. And there's no "come down" or withdrawls and you never run out of Him! 🥰 There are varying levels of severity with ADHD, unfortunately my oldest son and I are on the extreme side. You don't always have to be hyper to have ADHD, although its a tell tale sign of someone having it. Boys are more likely to be diagnosed because of that hyporactivity while girls are more mentally hypor. Our minds wont shut down and we struggle with perfectionism issues. I studied it for years before I ever even looked into whether I had it or not, and got testing and sought any kind of treatment. It's very difficult to navigate life with it. It's even harder when the world doesn't believe it's real. You can actually grow out of the symptoms in some cases according to a bunch of studies, but it's more than likely somthing you'll have the rest of your life, and the worse you have it the worse the symptoms get over time I guess. I know that alot of the reason we have addiction problems and self idolatry problems are from the carnel flesh sin issues, but having adhd you have a higher chance of commitijg suicide, abusing drugs and alcohol, being sexually active at a young age, you are likely to be more reckless and endanger your life more by doing dumb things. Alot of ADHD people struggle to keep a job, we drop out of school because we just can't get understanding, we are insecure in relationships. And this has happened to me even when I was a Christian before I turned away for a while and then God drew me back to Him shortly before I sought diagnosis and treatment. It would have been so much easier if I would have had therapy at a young age. I'm not huge on kids being medicated, but the therapy is so helpful. The more that we are learning about adhd the more we are discovering tools to help us navigate life with it. I'm just so thankful to Jesus that by stepping out in faith and sharing this, I was able to help you. It's all worth it to me if it's glorifying to God and it helps someone. 🙏 It helps me to know it helped you. This grows my faith, and helps me know I am doing what Jesus wants me to be doing when it comes to sharing aspects of my walk and what Hes teaching me. It says in scripture that what He tells us in secret at night, we are to shout from the rooftops in the daytime to everyone. My channel is my rooftop lol. 💜 God bless you too and thank you 🙏💜
@@love2mycat Thanks for sharing the truth to me about ADHD and your own struggles. too. I guess I have had it for so long I kind of feel like its just the way it is. My sister is pressing me to take drugs but I know they are just amphetamines and I have been down that road. Ughhh besides its unique I like who I am when I am not living in active premeditated sin, ( I still sin like when I hurt myself I sometimes let out an F bomb) however I dont sit in my sins anymore or live recklessly and rest in forgiveness. I actually shudder at all my past sins but God says his mercies are new every day. I will look at thumbs up more of your videos if thats ok, and comment. I also agree its nice to see a familiar person on utube or in the world in general. Ughhh my mom wants me to do a bunch of chores around her house, as I moved in to her huge house in the suburbs after I fell apart in the city. She wants me to prune some plants and root some raspberry plants so she can sell them and she wants me to cut some branches down.. I can do it though and also my sister is coming over, she didnt fall into addiction she is a teacher and she went to trinity western university where they kind of seemed to teach lies about other religions also having a "born of a virgin died from crucifiction lie" that was taught to her and also it was in the movie Zeitgeist. So my sister Tonya now believes in Jesus, she believes in God but she doesn't go to church and she believes in reincarnation and channeling and yoga and new age stuff. My sister cut me off for many years in my addiction but she came back into my life in the last year after shutting me out for about 20 years. Weird.......she says my addictions hurt her to watch thats why, however she is ultra sensitive so I can see maybe why she did it, however some of my christian friends have been so apathetic and weak , they could have made some effort to make a phone call to see if I still breathed, especially in the bad fentanyl years but such is life, I too made many decisions that separated me from life, Jesus and family and friends. SO my sister is coming by to play a game called careers and they we will play the peanuts matching pairs game, eat some lunch and go for a walk around the park or the block. peace and blessings to you from canada thanks for being a friend. I like the verse. ""All the hidden things will be brought into the light and the secret things will be shouted from the rooftops" as I dont hide much I am pretty transparent about my life and sins and faults (well I suck at hiding them anyways) However I think when we stand before Jesus and we are in the new heaven and new earth and new Jerusalem we wont be on the bottom of the teams roster, meaning I think more things will come to light like maybe we had 10 times more demons attacking us since we were young and satan put more effort to destroying us then he did other people. Thats what it sometimes feels like, then again I think about myself as sinning more then others so its nuanced and paradoxical. I am just happy to feel gods love and mercy and presence in my life,I have felt alone and only in my flesh before, meaning I have not felt gods presence in me and that makes me feel so gross, along and abandoned. For a while I felt like God was like me Dad who left the family, like God abandons us when we sin, maybe his presence does not like putting up with sin but GOd chooses us we dont choose him or he loves us first. Its complicated the more I learn about God and the bible the more I see it as an onion that keeps getting deeper, and I love it. Ok peace gotta go Darren over and out
@planes3333 they do have medications that are not stimulants. They also have just life coaching which I hear really helps. I hear you about not wanting to go down the road of getting medicated. I am the same way about a lot of things. It took me 23 years to finally break down to be treated. Spent 1t years having hands laid on me and prophesies spoken over me. I hid that I was still affected by it. God healed me of so many things in my life that I rely struggled with why He wouldn't heal me of this. Maybe this was why, so I could share my story and help e courage other people to know that God hasn't abandoned them whether they break treatment or not. I still believe God can heal me. I still pray for it, but I pray for it differently now. I just choose to believe that God will work this out in me one way or another. I get judged a lot for finally getting treatment and although it hurts my feelings, I have peace about the decision I made prayerfully. It wasn't just one of those "I want drugs" type things. I was never attracted to stimulants in my drug days. I was a an opioid and alcohol addict. I was already treated like a meth head all my life because I have hyporactive ADHD and my parents were meth addicts and I grew up hating it so bad because the way it made my parents act. I look at it this way also, to make antivenom for snake bites, you need to use venom. So as long as it's being used properly and people are not abusing it, I think it can really help people. But there are too many people who abuse the medications. But I totally understand not wanting to even try it if you've struggled with infedimenes. That's like how I feel about ever being put on pain medicine again. Even when I get teeth removed I refuse to let them give me opioid pain meds. I don't ever want to go back down that road again. I won't even by alcohol mouth wash. I just don't want to be tempted to go back down those roads. My husband probly has ADHD too but he refuses to be medicated for the same reason you said. It's a smart decision. You knkw yourself and it's good that you are vigilant and protective of your salvation and sobriety. Never listen to what other people say you should do. Always ALWAYS take it to God and He will make it very clear what He wants ypu to do. I had to learn this the hard way over many years of struggling trying to do what others told me I should do. I think you will do just fine, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you are seeking God's truth amd that's the most important thing we can do. Everything else is temporary and has no meaning, only the things we do to serve God have true meaning. I read the Whole book of Ecclesiastes recently and it opened my eyes to how meaningless everything in this life is unless it's done to serve God. And then, we won't recieve reward for any of it on earth. We will only recieve rewards when we stand before the throne of God Almighty. The fear of the Lord is the begining of all wisdom. I'm learning this doesn't always literally mean to be trembling with fear, but a fear of separation from Him. If anything we do in this life separates us from Him, it's nlt worth doing. There's a lot of things we all do that we do without a second thought and when we begin to go to God with everything and start to see everything we do through a biblical lense, we learn that it's only our relationship with Him and seeking His approval that matters. It's hard though when you have friends and family and even christian friends who blow you off or expect things of you. Go through Exodus 20, the 10 commandments are in there and I try to start with those. I'm sure you already knkw them. But I try to understand what God ment by each one. I know that if we think that by following the law we will be saved we forfeit the salvation from Jesus in our lives, but it's important to k ow what God expects from us and try to practice those things. I got to get ready to go to church, we just started going to one recently. Hoping it turns out to be good and biblical. So far it seems to be a good place. Trying to find the perfect church is not possible. If it is, it's very few are far between. Lol. God bless you brother! Keep your head up, God will make a way for you, just stay close to Him amd He will make everything worth it as you said!
@@love2mycat Thanks for that thoughtful and detailed message and for helping reaffirm a truth and thats to listen to God and ourselves first and also how its all meaningless. Peace and hope you have a great church service.
Wow I totally did feel alone looking at all the normal married people in church with their polished lives and perfect job profiles. Where as I am taking communion with my tattoos and scarred arms from a legion and multitude of pin pricks. I barely made it out of my opiate addictions and other vices and thats putting it nicely, it was hell on earth living in sin. I often wondered if I really knew Jesus and I also wondered if I had committed the blasphemy of the holy spirit. The odd thing is I know the bible really well as I have read it cover to cover and I have been reading it for 40 years as I am 50 now. I started with the purple puzzle tree and then went to the picture bible and now to an NASB. Reading the gospels freaked me out too as Jesus says those who dont produce fruit will be cut off and the virgins who dont have their wicks with oil and who turn back will be shut out, so Jesus kind of freaks me out with his "lordship grace" theology, and then Paul has a "free grace" theology and that gives me peace. I have always drawn close to Jesus more when scared generally as I see hell and the mortality of life and that terrifies me back into his arms. Well praise be to Jesus as he saved me from the carnal nature which I have crucified. He kept me safe from disease, occult, demons, sin, death, fentanyl meth and every heartache. I was kind of a psychonaut (one who experiments with drugs) and I got so lost. Praise be to Jesus who saves the lost lamb. I hear other christians say they sin too but I dont see it as much. I mean yeah they are sinners cursed by sin but I cant see them getting wasted at a bar or smoking meth on the sky train in their sins. SO when christians say they sin the same as me I get it, they sin but they sure hide it better and I wonder if they are just being humble and polite. I still say I am chief of sinners but I am ok with that as "those who have been forgiven much love the lord a lot" life is not perfect I dont even have a job right now and I am living with family until I get hopefully accepted into a discipleship place called wagner hills farm. However I have piece that surpasses all understanding and guess what?? all my depression and anxiety, and pain and fear of hell went away very quickly when I gave god my entire life, all my life, not holding on to 7 % but I am trying to give god my all and all and that has given me peace. I am only on a light antidepressant called mirtazapine to help me sleep and that medication gives me dreams like daniels or josephs its so crazy. Its like God knows I love a weird psychedelic trip and he allows me this in my dreams and sleep. I just wish I would not have been a traitor to Jesus for so long, I feel like Edmund from the narnia chronicles who sided with the evil white witch. sorry I got to writing, you opened up my passions as I am can totally empathise with fear of God, rebellion and sin and falling away. I get tempted to sin now and I quote scriptures or rebuke satan in Jesus name. peace from the west coast of canada, I liked and subbed but most importantly I have been inspired that I am not alone. I hear all these testimonies of people who find God and live happily ever after and I have gone back and forth many times from being on fire for Jesus and then falling back into sin. one thing I can say though is I am hot or cold, never luke warm🥲
@planes3333 that's awesome! You're my kind of people. You are definately not alone. I suck at being a 'good christian". When I finally stopped listening to other people's idea of what a true Christian looked like and started really absorbing God's Word (ive read the bible fully only 2 times, but the new testiment and 90% of the old testiment I've read completely like anywhere from 10 to 30 times depending on what chapters and verses) the pharisees could quote probly the whole Tora (old testiment) but they didn't get it, so I try really hard to really let God open the words up to me and put them in my heart. God tells us let every man be a liar and God be the only truth. I believe that's in proverbs. I suck at remembering the addresses for scriptures, so I can speak in scripture but most the time I can't tell you where to find it. That's another issue with adhd, I struggle deeply with numbers and memory issues. I loved reading about what you've been through. I'm actually from the west coast (Washington and Oregon) I lived in California when I was a Satanist, and loved in Alaska as a kid and livednin Idaho a few years ago. So I'm from the same part of the world, it's hard to live on the west coast. It's dark, rainy, cold, and every miserable person in the continent and from other parts of the world all seem to want to congregate there. And then having I-5 brings every drug imaginable from Mexico all the way up to the bering sea. So I feel your pain. I just lost one of my closest childhood friends to an accidental overdose of Fentynal. My brother spent years in prison. Everyone I ever knew was messed up at one time in their life. I'm not blaming it on the west coast but I think there is a principality that rules over the west coast. It would explain why California's bay area and Hollywood are the butthole of the united states. There are some really good people there and some phenominal ministries and Christian artists and churches there, but it seems like evil owns that part of the world. I don't mind that you wrote about these things. That's another adhd thing. We tend to share a lot and somtimes we feel we annoy people, we "over share" or we think we go on too much. There are thousands of comments from me all over the internet where it took me over an hour to write it all. 🤣 infact I'm sure some people see my 2 million word comme t and be like "nope" and just move on. I like to read them, so you are among friends with me if you feel opened up to sharing. I think if God puts it on your heart, you should share your testimony on here in a video. That would be awesome. I thought for the longest time that it was stupid of me to share because everyone else has heard stories like mine, but the more people have someone to identify with, the more comfortable that person or those people are to boldly step out in faith and trust God. They knkw they won't fall off a cliff into hell when they see others doing it. I always try to encourage everyone I meet on here who shares some of their lives with me to share it with others. I think the more crap we have been through, the greater our ability to be trusted when it comes to sharing Jesus with people. People like us don't just change because we "grew up". We are changed so deeply that it can't be explained by science and even secular doctors think it crazy. My husband is 50 also, he used to sell drugs. He was a junkie for years, he cleaned up in the 90s but he has a really strong testimony. No one could believe he ever touched meth. No one could believe he was ever a needle junkie. But he was, God just transformed him. But even he, like all of us, have times where we get on fire for Jesus amd then cool off. I think this is part of us being put in the wilderness. After every break through, God allows us to go through a lonely dark night of the soul type season or time, i think its to humble us. It's where we feel so bad and so abandoned and empty. But we are not alone. Those are the times we must trust in God's Word to sustain us over "bread" like Jesus did in the desert for 40 days and nights. You notice how satan waited untill the end of the 40 days to screw with Jesus though? Satan wants ypu at your weakest before he even thinks he stands a chance at getting you to sin against God. So ww go through weak times in our life, and if we dont stregthen our spirit by feeding it Gods Word, we can fall into a trap more easily. I'm learning this slowly. Like when I'm in a cool off period I struggle really hard to read the bible and pray. I have to force myself to do it. I'm glad you are seeking Jesus and staying true even when it's difficult. That's more than I can say for some career Christians. Like you said, he who is forgiven much loves much. He is also able to spot so much more than someone who's never been through those sins in their life. You can see the temptation coming on, you know where it will.lead, so many don't. And they fall right into those traps. I pray that you get into the place where God wants you to be. Whether it's the one you mentioned or a different one. Wherever He takes you, I pray you are able to settle in super quick and begin doing all the things that God has put on your heart to do. I'll keep this and you in my prayers. You are my brother in Christ and I'm so thankful that you are in the family!
@@love2mycat Wow thanks so much for sharing your story. I can empathise with many parts of it. So you have also been in the the pacific northwest. It is as you say annoying with all the rain and there seems to be more of a rebellion or satanic attitude that does not seem to be as much a part of in Alberta or the other provinces. There is the bible belt though of Abbotsford that has a church on every street corner but then Abbotsford has the highest murder rate per capital..Thats why I love Gods kingdom as the darkness can not comprehend the light meaning that Jesus never sinned the darkness tried all it had in it to make Jesus sin, just once, but being the warrior king of love that he is he did not falter. On another note you may enjoy an animated video called "the bible from satans perspective" it is very good as it shows how satan went from his glory in heaven and then being cast out to where he is on earth and trying to attack Job, then Zechariah and then Jesus and then it goes to the beast the false prophet and then to the antichrist. I love the bible and I am a huge animation fan with almost 70 gigabytes of animation so I just love Evangelion and Berserk and Samurai Champloo and Claymore. Yes I agree Satan is good at what he does, he does patiently wait and he picks his battles, if he cant bring you down in some area he attacks another, he attacks in deception and trickery. I actually have a bit of an interest of our enemy and I respect his power. He is ultra evil but I respect this enemy who wiped out a third of the angels with him by having them join him. Also in the book of Jude (one of my favorites) it says "But Michael the archangel, when he disputed with the devil and argued about the body of Moses, did not dare pronounce against him an abusive judgment, but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” So when I see people mocking satan or insulting him in christian circles I remind them that they are treading on thin ice. For me when I do war against him I quote scripture or I rebuke him in Jesus name. However I dont mock him of my own ability as he is millions of times stronger then me as John Piper says. However we are given authority to trample serpents but I always use Jesus name, the name above all names to do war. Yeah I think you might like that video I mentioned on u tube, or maybe not. I can understand someone who was in that life for a bit being against watching that. I generally stay away from downtown eastside of vancouver videos where it shows the street and junkies because I have been there, it was hell on earth at times, no always but mostly. I also saw the destruction of probably 100 people I knew or knew of if you count, fentanyl, suicide, aids, overdose, murder, covid and the many faces of death. So your married? that must be nice! Congratulations on that, it is also wonderful to hear about the redemption of your husband. Testimonies rock. I wish I have a better one but I think God will still use me and I have been blessed to lead the odd junky or person in jail and detox to the lord. I have been able to help tell the gospel to about 10 people in my life, I feel so good in bringing christs love to people,.........i just wish I had not wasted so many years *sigh* Yes reading the bible cover to cover is awesome, I always suggest to people to do the same. I read it when I was about 20 years old and I read it cover to cover at my grammas and I would read it every night, and it took about a year and I read every word, from Genesis to revelations, leviticus was tough and there were also so many amazing things I learned about that nobody ever talks about in church like God telling ezekiel to cook bread over human poo in leviticus chapter 4 and there were some brutal disgusting things and sides of God and the sin and the deprivation. The bible is no easy library to get through, from demonic attacks making me sleepy to confusing levitical laws, like "if you have a boil and its not white go and see the priest and he will pronounce you unclean and you must go to the city of refuge" there is so much stuff. I can totally relate with knowing words of god but not being able to put a chapter and verse heading to it, however I am ok with that. I actually grew up baptist and I have been reading the bible for 40 years minimum. So I think I have a good strong grasp of Gods word and his message. I have struggled with some passages and I have embraced others. Gods word is trully remarkable and fun fact if you look up the first names in the bible like Adam, enoch, methuselah etc the first names in the bible when put together actually spell out a prophesy of Jesus that say "man is appointed mortal sorrow but he will be saved" or something along those lines, if you get a change check them out and see for yourself. So keep the faith,run the race and god bless you, it has been very nice talking and opening up and discussing the greatest thing on earth. Jesus
Whoa..... I just happened to run into your video tonight. I had severe ADHD when I was younger as I was so spazzy and hyper but it kind of mellowed I think in my older age as I am 50 now. However my family say I still have adhd so who knows. I did not know it was typical for Adhd people to dump on ourselves that much. I am so self critical and many times I fear that I am going to hell for my sins and that I am unloved and a train wreck.
I kind of opened myself up to the destruction though for many years I was stuck in addictions and sins of all types, (even when I loved and professed to be a christian I had fallen to the carnal nature) It has been a really tough life but it has gotten better and all my depression and anxiety went away when I got over some familiar sins and some familiar demons were sent away, as it says in scripture(resist the devil and he will flee from you. I got off all drugs and carnal stuff and I am living for Jesus. I guess I kind of thought that ya I have messed up my life bad with a really bad addiction history and crazy city life and all that entails but Jesus loves me and his mercies are new every day.
I am addicted to Jesus now and he is my life.
thanks for making the video. You helped me. and I wish you the best. See you online or in paradise.
from canada.....Darren.
@planes3333 thankyou for sharing this with me. I really struggled with whether I was going to share it or not. I've always thought of my issues like ADHD as non-glorifying to God so it was a "throw away" thing I shouldn't talk about, but God really pressed me to share it. I'm so thankful you are still in Love with Jesus. That is so important! He really is the best addiction to have. The only one that doesn't ruin lives! The addiction that gives back and doesn't take everything good from your life. And there's no "come down" or withdrawls and you never run out of Him! 🥰
There are varying levels of severity with ADHD, unfortunately my oldest son and I are on the extreme side. You don't always have to be hyper to have ADHD, although its a tell tale sign of someone having it. Boys are more likely to be diagnosed because of that hyporactivity while girls are more mentally hypor. Our minds wont shut down and we struggle with perfectionism issues.
I studied it for years before I ever even looked into whether I had it or not, and got testing and sought any kind of treatment. It's very difficult to navigate life with it. It's even harder when the world doesn't believe it's real. You can actually grow out of the symptoms in some cases according to a bunch of studies, but it's more than likely somthing you'll have the rest of your life, and the worse you have it the worse the symptoms get over time I guess. I know that alot of the reason we have addiction problems and self idolatry problems are from the carnel flesh sin issues, but having adhd you have a higher chance of commitijg suicide, abusing drugs and alcohol, being sexually active at a young age, you are likely to be more reckless and endanger your life more by doing dumb things. Alot of ADHD people struggle to keep a job, we drop out of school because we just can't get understanding, we are insecure in relationships. And this has happened to me even when I was a Christian before I turned away for a while and then God drew me back to Him shortly before I sought diagnosis and treatment.
It would have been so much easier if I would have had therapy at a young age. I'm not huge on kids being medicated, but the therapy is so helpful.
The more that we are learning about adhd the more we are discovering tools to help us navigate life with it. I'm just so thankful to Jesus that by stepping out in faith and sharing this, I was able to help you. It's all worth it to me if it's glorifying to God and it helps someone. 🙏 It helps me to know it helped you. This grows my faith, and helps me know I am doing what Jesus wants me to be doing when it comes to sharing aspects of my walk and what Hes teaching me. It says in scripture that what He tells us in secret at night, we are to shout from the rooftops in the daytime to everyone. My channel is my rooftop lol. 💜 God bless you too and thank you 🙏💜
@@love2mycat Thanks for sharing the truth to me about ADHD and your own struggles. too. I guess I have had it for so long I kind of feel like its just the way it is. My sister is pressing me to take drugs but I know they are just amphetamines and I have been down that road. Ughhh besides its unique I like who I am when I am not living in active premeditated sin, ( I still sin like when I hurt myself I sometimes let out an F bomb) however I dont sit in my sins anymore or live recklessly and rest in forgiveness. I actually shudder at all my past sins but God says his mercies are new every day.
I will look at thumbs up more of your videos if thats ok, and comment. I also agree its nice to see a familiar person on utube or in the world in general.
Ughhh my mom wants me to do a bunch of chores around her house, as I moved in to her huge house in the suburbs after I fell apart in the city. She wants me to prune some plants and root some raspberry plants so she can sell them and she wants me to cut some branches down..
I can do it though and also my sister is coming over, she didnt fall into addiction she is a teacher and she went to trinity western university where they kind of seemed to teach lies about other religions also having a "born of a virgin died from crucifiction lie" that was taught to her and also it was in the movie Zeitgeist.
So my sister Tonya now believes in Jesus, she believes in God but she doesn't go to church and she believes in reincarnation and channeling and yoga and new age stuff. My sister cut me off for many years in my addiction but she came back into my life in the last year after shutting me out for about 20 years. Weird.......she says my addictions hurt her to watch thats why, however she is ultra sensitive so I can see maybe why she did it, however some of my christian friends have been so apathetic and weak , they could have made some effort to make a phone call to see if I still breathed, especially in the bad fentanyl years but such is life, I too made many decisions that separated me from life, Jesus and family and friends.
SO my sister is coming by to play a game called careers and they we will play the peanuts matching pairs game, eat some lunch and go for a walk around the park or the block.
peace and blessings to you from canada thanks for being a friend.
I like the verse. ""All the hidden things will be brought into the light and the secret things will be shouted from the rooftops"
as I dont hide much I am pretty transparent about my life and sins and faults (well I suck at hiding them anyways)
However I think when we stand before Jesus and we are in the new heaven and new earth and new Jerusalem we wont be on the bottom of the teams roster, meaning I think more things will come to light like maybe we had 10 times more demons attacking us since we were young and satan put more effort to destroying us then he did other people. Thats what it sometimes feels like, then again I think about myself as sinning more then others so its nuanced and paradoxical.
I am just happy to feel gods love and mercy and presence in my life,I have felt alone and only in my flesh before, meaning I have not felt gods presence in me and that makes me feel so gross, along and abandoned. For a while I felt like God was like me Dad who left the family, like God abandons us when we sin, maybe his presence does not like putting up with sin but GOd chooses us we dont choose him or he loves us first. Its complicated the more I learn about God and the bible the more I see it as an onion that keeps getting deeper, and I love it.
Ok peace gotta go
Darren over and out
@planes3333 they do have medications that are not stimulants. They also have just life coaching which I hear really helps. I hear you about not wanting to go down the road of getting medicated. I am the same way about a lot of things. It took me 23 years to finally break down to be treated. Spent 1t years having hands laid on me and prophesies spoken over me. I hid that I was still affected by it. God healed me of so many things in my life that I rely struggled with why He wouldn't heal me of this. Maybe this was why, so I could share my story and help e courage other people to know that God hasn't abandoned them whether they break treatment or not. I still believe God can heal me. I still pray for it, but I pray for it differently now. I just choose to believe that God will work this out in me one way or another. I get judged a lot for finally getting treatment and although it hurts my feelings, I have peace about the decision I made prayerfully. It wasn't just one of those "I want drugs" type things. I was never attracted to stimulants in my drug days. I was a an opioid and alcohol addict. I was already treated like a meth head all my life because I have hyporactive ADHD and my parents were meth addicts and I grew up hating it so bad because the way it made my parents act. I look at it this way also, to make antivenom for snake bites, you need to use venom. So as long as it's being used properly and people are not abusing it, I think it can really help people. But there are too many people who abuse the medications. But I totally understand not wanting to even try it if you've struggled with infedimenes. That's like how I feel about ever being put on pain medicine again. Even when I get teeth removed I refuse to let them give me opioid pain meds. I don't ever want to go back down that road again. I won't even by alcohol mouth wash. I just don't want to be tempted to go back down those roads. My husband probly has ADHD too but he refuses to be medicated for the same reason you said. It's a smart decision. You knkw yourself and it's good that you are vigilant and protective of your salvation and sobriety. Never listen to what other people say you should do. Always ALWAYS take it to God and He will make it very clear what He wants ypu to do. I had to learn this the hard way over many years of struggling trying to do what others told me I should do.
I think you will do just fine, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you are seeking God's truth amd that's the most important thing we can do. Everything else is temporary and has no meaning, only the things we do to serve God have true meaning. I read the Whole book of Ecclesiastes recently and it opened my eyes to how meaningless everything in this life is unless it's done to serve God. And then, we won't recieve reward for any of it on earth. We will only recieve rewards when we stand before the throne of God Almighty. The fear of the Lord is the begining of all wisdom. I'm learning this doesn't always literally mean to be trembling with fear, but a fear of separation from Him. If anything we do in this life separates us from Him, it's nlt worth doing. There's a lot of things we all do that we do without a second thought and when we begin to go to God with everything and start to see everything we do through a biblical lense, we learn that it's only our relationship with Him and seeking His approval that matters. It's hard though when you have friends and family and even christian friends who blow you off or expect things of you. Go through Exodus 20, the 10 commandments are in there and I try to start with those. I'm sure you already knkw them. But I try to understand what God ment by each one. I know that if we think that by following the law we will be saved we forfeit the salvation from Jesus in our lives, but it's important to k ow what God expects from us and try to practice those things.
I got to get ready to go to church, we just started going to one recently. Hoping it turns out to be good and biblical. So far it seems to be a good place. Trying to find the perfect church is not possible. If it is, it's very few are far between. Lol.
God bless you brother! Keep your head up, God will make a way for you, just stay close to Him amd He will make everything worth it as you said!
@@love2mycat Thanks for that thoughtful and detailed message and for helping reaffirm a truth and thats to listen to God and ourselves first and also how its all meaningless. Peace and hope you have a great church service.
Wow I totally did feel alone looking at all the normal married people in church with their polished lives and perfect job profiles. Where as I am taking communion with my tattoos and scarred arms from a legion and multitude of pin pricks. I barely made it out of my opiate addictions and other vices and thats putting it nicely, it was hell on earth living in sin. I often wondered if I really knew Jesus and I also wondered if I had committed the blasphemy of the holy spirit. The odd thing is I know the bible really well as I have read it cover to cover and I have been reading it for 40 years as I am 50 now. I started with the purple puzzle tree and then went to the picture bible and now to an NASB. Reading the gospels freaked me out too as Jesus says those who dont produce fruit will be cut off and the virgins who dont have their wicks with oil and who turn back will be shut out, so Jesus kind of freaks me out with his "lordship grace" theology, and then Paul has a "free grace" theology and that gives me peace. I have always drawn close to Jesus more when scared generally as I see hell and the mortality of life and that terrifies me back into his arms. Well praise be to Jesus as he saved me from the carnal nature which I have crucified. He kept me safe from disease, occult, demons, sin, death, fentanyl meth and every heartache. I was kind of a psychonaut (one who experiments with drugs) and I got so lost. Praise be to Jesus who saves the lost lamb.
I hear other christians say they sin too but I dont see it as much. I mean yeah they are sinners cursed by sin but I cant see them getting wasted at a bar or smoking meth on the sky train in their sins. SO when christians say they sin the same as me I get it, they sin but they sure hide it better and I wonder if they are just being humble and polite. I still say I am chief of sinners but I am ok with that as "those who have been forgiven much love the lord a lot" life is not perfect I dont even have a job right now and I am living with family until I get hopefully accepted into a discipleship place called wagner hills farm. However I have piece that surpasses all understanding and guess what??
all my depression and anxiety, and pain and fear of hell went away very quickly when I gave god my entire life, all my life, not holding on to 7 % but I am trying to give god my all and all and that has given me peace. I am only on a light antidepressant called mirtazapine to help me sleep and that medication gives me dreams like daniels or josephs its so crazy. Its like God knows I love a weird psychedelic trip and he allows me this in my dreams and sleep.
I just wish I would not have been a traitor to Jesus for so long, I feel like Edmund from the narnia chronicles who sided with the evil white witch.
sorry I got to writing, you opened up my passions as I am can totally empathise with fear of God, rebellion and sin and falling away. I get tempted to sin now and I quote scriptures or rebuke satan in Jesus name.
peace from the west coast of canada, I liked and subbed but most importantly I have been inspired that I am not alone. I hear all these testimonies of people who find God and live happily ever after and I have gone back and forth many times from being on fire for Jesus and then falling back into sin.
one thing I can say though is I am hot or cold, never luke warm🥲
@planes3333 that's awesome! You're my kind of people. You are definately not alone. I suck at being a 'good christian". When I finally stopped listening to other people's idea of what a true Christian looked like and started really absorbing God's Word (ive read the bible fully only 2 times, but the new testiment and 90% of the old testiment I've read completely like anywhere from 10 to 30 times depending on what chapters and verses) the pharisees could quote probly the whole Tora (old testiment) but they didn't get it, so I try really hard to really let God open the words up to me and put them in my heart.
God tells us let every man be a liar and God be the only truth. I believe that's in proverbs. I suck at remembering the addresses for scriptures, so I can speak in scripture but most the time I can't tell you where to find it. That's another issue with adhd, I struggle deeply with numbers and memory issues.
I loved reading about what you've been through. I'm actually from the west coast (Washington and Oregon) I lived in California when I was a Satanist, and loved in Alaska as a kid and livednin Idaho a few years ago. So I'm from the same part of the world, it's hard to live on the west coast. It's dark, rainy, cold, and every miserable person in the continent and from other parts of the world all seem to want to congregate there.
And then having I-5 brings every drug imaginable from Mexico all the way up to the bering sea. So I feel your pain. I just lost one of my closest childhood friends to an accidental overdose of Fentynal. My brother spent years in prison. Everyone I ever knew was messed up at one time in their life. I'm not blaming it on the west coast but I think there is a principality that rules over the west coast. It would explain why California's bay area and Hollywood are the butthole of the united states. There are some really good people there and some phenominal ministries and Christian artists and churches there, but it seems like evil owns that part of the world.
I don't mind that you wrote about these things. That's another adhd thing. We tend to share a lot and somtimes we feel we annoy people, we "over share" or we think we go on too much. There are thousands of comments from me all over the internet where it took me over an hour to write it all. 🤣 infact I'm sure some people see my 2 million word comme t and be like "nope" and just move on. I like to read them, so you are among friends with me if you feel opened up to sharing.
I think if God puts it on your heart, you should share your testimony on here in a video. That would be awesome. I thought for the longest time that it was stupid of me to share because everyone else has heard stories like mine, but the more people have someone to identify with, the more comfortable that person or those people are to boldly step out in faith and trust God. They knkw they won't fall off a cliff into hell when they see others doing it. I always try to encourage everyone I meet on here who shares some of their lives with me to share it with others. I think the more crap we have been through, the greater our ability to be trusted when it comes to sharing Jesus with people. People like us don't just change because we "grew up". We are changed so deeply that it can't be explained by science and even secular doctors think it crazy.
My husband is 50 also, he used to sell drugs. He was a junkie for years, he cleaned up in the 90s but he has a really strong testimony. No one could believe he ever touched meth. No one could believe he was ever a needle junkie. But he was, God just transformed him. But even he, like all of us, have times where we get on fire for Jesus amd then cool off. I think this is part of us being put in the wilderness.
After every break through, God allows us to go through a lonely dark night of the soul type season or time, i think its to humble us. It's where we feel so bad and so abandoned and empty. But we are not alone. Those are the times we must trust in God's Word to sustain us over "bread" like Jesus did in the desert for 40 days and nights. You notice how satan waited untill the end of the 40 days to screw with Jesus though? Satan wants ypu at your weakest before he even thinks he stands a chance at getting you to sin against God. So ww go through weak times in our life, and if we dont stregthen our spirit by feeding it Gods Word, we can fall into a trap more easily. I'm learning this slowly. Like when I'm in a cool off period I struggle really hard to read the bible and pray. I have to force myself to do it.
I'm glad you are seeking Jesus and staying true even when it's difficult. That's more than I can say for some career Christians. Like you said, he who is forgiven much loves much. He is also able to spot so much more than someone who's never been through those sins in their life. You can see the temptation coming on, you know where it will.lead, so many don't. And they fall right into those traps. I pray that you get into the place where God wants you to be. Whether it's the one you mentioned or a different one. Wherever He takes you, I pray you are able to settle in super quick and begin doing all the things that God has put on your heart to do. I'll keep this and you in my prayers. You are my brother in Christ and I'm so thankful that you are in the family!
@@love2mycat Wow thanks so much for sharing your story. I can empathise with many parts of it. So you have also been in the the pacific northwest. It is as you say annoying with all the rain and there seems to be more of a rebellion or satanic attitude that does not seem to be as much a part of in Alberta or the other provinces. There is the bible belt though of Abbotsford that has a church on every street corner but then Abbotsford has the highest murder rate per capital..Thats why I love Gods kingdom as the darkness can not comprehend the light meaning that Jesus never sinned the darkness tried all it had in it to make Jesus sin, just once, but being the warrior king of love that he is he did not falter.
On another note you may enjoy an animated video called "the bible from satans perspective" it is very good as it shows how satan went from his glory in heaven and then being cast out to where he is on earth and trying to attack Job, then Zechariah and then Jesus and then it goes to the beast the false prophet and then to the antichrist. I love the bible and I am a huge animation fan with almost 70 gigabytes of animation so I just love Evangelion and Berserk and Samurai Champloo and Claymore.
Yes I agree Satan is good at what he does, he does patiently wait and he picks his battles, if he cant bring you down in some area he attacks another, he attacks in deception and trickery. I actually have a bit of an interest of our enemy and I respect his power. He is ultra evil but I respect this enemy who wiped out a third of the angels with him by having them join him. Also in the book of Jude (one of my favorites) it says "But Michael the archangel, when he disputed with the devil and argued about the body of Moses, did not dare pronounce against him an abusive judgment, but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” So when I see people mocking satan or insulting him in christian circles I remind them that they are treading on thin ice. For me when I do war against him I quote scripture or I rebuke him in Jesus name. However I dont mock him of my own ability as he is millions of times stronger then me as John Piper says. However we are given authority to trample serpents but I always use Jesus name, the name above all names to do war. Yeah I think you might like that video I mentioned on u tube, or maybe not. I can understand someone who was in that life for a bit being against watching that. I generally stay away from downtown eastside of vancouver videos where it shows the street and junkies because I have been there, it was hell on earth at times, no always but mostly. I also saw the destruction of probably 100 people I knew or knew of if you count, fentanyl, suicide, aids, overdose, murder, covid and the many faces of death.
So your married? that must be nice! Congratulations on that, it is also wonderful to hear about the redemption of your husband. Testimonies rock. I wish I have a better one but I think God will still use me and I have been blessed to lead the odd junky or person in jail and detox to the lord. I have been able to help tell the gospel to about 10 people in my life, I feel so good in bringing christs love to people,.........i just wish I had not wasted so many years *sigh*
Yes reading the bible cover to cover is awesome, I always suggest to people to do the same. I read it when I was about 20 years old and I read it cover to cover at my grammas and I would read it every night, and it took about a year and I read every word, from Genesis to revelations, leviticus was tough and there were also so many amazing things I learned about that nobody ever talks about in church like God telling ezekiel to cook bread over human poo in leviticus chapter 4 and there were some brutal disgusting things and sides of God and the sin and the deprivation. The bible is no easy library to get through, from demonic attacks making me sleepy to confusing levitical laws, like "if you have a boil and its not white go and see the priest and he will pronounce you unclean and you must go to the city of refuge" there is so much stuff.
I can totally relate with knowing words of god but not being able to put a chapter and verse heading to it, however I am ok with that. I actually grew up baptist and I have been reading the bible for 40 years minimum. So I think I have a good strong grasp of Gods word and his message. I have struggled with some passages and I have embraced others. Gods word is trully remarkable and fun fact if you look up the first names in the bible like Adam, enoch, methuselah etc the first names in the bible when put together actually spell out a prophesy of Jesus that say "man is appointed mortal sorrow but he will be saved" or something along those lines, if you get a change check them out and see for yourself.
So keep the faith,run the race and god bless you, it has been very nice talking and opening up and discussing the greatest thing on earth. Jesus