Do you need a WIFE Translator?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ค. 2023
- Having a hard time understanding what your Wife is saying? Does she talk about her feelings a lot and you don't know what she wants from you? You should hire the Wife Translator.
How to get HER in the MOOD (funny)
bit.ly/41AAZyS
If you ever want to support my work bit.ly/3FWA1Ez
#marriageadvice #relationshiphumor #marriagehumor
This video summarized exactly why my 20 year marriage ended in divorce. I could not take it anymore. Nothing I did or said changed it. Then he was shocked I divorced him. I am sure 3 years later he still has no clue with zero self reflection and blames me. I am so much happier now. I didn’t even know how bad it was until I broke free and began to heal. I am dating a wonderful man who helped me learn what a healthy relationship is.
Oh I'm so happy to hear you got rid of him🎉 Most men do not deserve even a third of the energy that their partners put into them
I could have written this. I know from his dumbass texts that my ex still thinks I was the problem and has done zero reflection on himself or our 24 years together. I just discovered this channel a couple of days ago and have watched some videos with my fiance. I told him that I should send some of these videos to my ex for his own good and he agreed, although we know it wouldn't be received well and probably a waste of time. A person has to want to learn and grow and he's never shown any desire to, which is part of why I divorced him.
Oh no, so it is a red flag when you have to keep on repeting what he did because he keeps on gaslighting you
I feel you..
He will probably never see any fault of his. My ex was just like yours and worse. 12 years later, he still thinks he was the best husband to an ungrateful and rebellious me. 😂
When you said "she's much more valuable" than any job or hobby etc, I actually burst into tears. Thank you for this ❤
“I heard sex, I recognize that word!”
I laughed so hard 😂
It's the same as when your dog hears "walk" or "treat".
And years of failing experiences, that’s how he got so good it..lmao 😅😅😅
😂
@@yellowpinkgreengreen hahahahahahahah
Right! 😂
My situation is a bit different. My husband is autistic. He doesn't really get implication or talking around a subject. I just learned early in the relationship that I had to be very direct and blunt, tell him straight out what I wanted. He's extremely sweet and attentive. You just have to figure out how to speak his language. We just celebrated our 14th anniversary. Seems to be working out well.
In a way this is the beauty of neurodivergence. My partner and I are both neurodivergent, and we are direct and clear about our feelings and desires and so forth. It makes life so much easier for both of us haha
Yay! I'm a severely autistic woman. Apparently, visual cues and sign language can help, as well!
You can even come up with custom visuals and make it a fun acting game you play when no one is looking, or nobody can guess you're cues and you're setting up for later without getting caught.
I agree on the blunt, though. I imagine I come off as crass and ronchy. While I would enjoy the hand brushes, shoulder brushes, and all the wonderful playful teasing and kissy things, my mind still has to roll die on whether this is cuddle time only, sex is the goal, if you're arm is dying, something I can't guess, chores???
If you don't tell me outright, I'm simply going to enjoy whatever this is, or ignore it while trying not to look emotional, and wait till something gets really obvious.
Now, I've never been in a relationship or had sex, but I know I am dense as a granite countertop.
But knowing me, either foreplay could last my clueless self all day, and maybe that could be nice, or you say "sex" and I can make this my soul goal, focused mission. Please say "done", cause I probably won't know to stop... ever. And apparently it is not supposed to turn into an endurance competition, because that hurts trust and boundaries.
If I may ask, do you have any tips for that sort of situation? My boyfriend of over a year is most likely also autistic (several of our diagnosed autistic friends joke how hes more autistic then all of them) and I had to find out that I'm way less pragmatic and more emotional then I like to admit, so obviously we run into some issues at times. I often find myself having expectations that are generally seen as basics like wanting him to care about my bday, going on date nights, getting flowers for anniversaries,... that are simply not on his radar bc they aren't important to him, but he's very sweet and caring in other more day to day areas. He bakes every weekend, loves cooking for us, is a very good listener, cuddles and shows affection, is respectful during arguments, all of that. I tried bluntly explaining what i mean with certain things (for example that "I want you to get me flowers for our anniversary" isn't about actually getting flowers, but that I want him to go out and put thought into a gift in a way he thinks I'll like) but he often gets overwhelmed by what I tell him and is discouraged by the all the things he "does wrong" and is self concious about is. I obviously don't want him to feel pressured to "perform" according to those classical standards, I'm just struggling a bit how to communicate what i'd like from him while also not putting too much of a burden on him. So any advice from you and/or your husband would be greatly appreciated, if you made it for over 14 years and are still happy together you must be doing something right :)
@@potterfanforever6082 Hi I can make an attempt. It sounds to me like you're doing it right. Bluntly explaining what you want from him and why. If you're feeling like you need more help, try looking into some couples counseling. Talking to someone qualified, who knows what questions to ask and who has seen a lot of people in many situations might be helpful. :) Best of luck. I'ma go give my husband a hug.
You know my husband is from another country, speaks another language, is unaware of a lot of contextual cues. We have to do the same things. I'm way more blunt and patient with him than I would be a man from my country.
As a wife, I recently realized I do this thing where I do something for my husband that I’d like him to do for me, then expect him to read my mind that I want it. And of course, he didn’t, cuz that’s a silly expectation. I believe that if I have a need and don’t say it directly, then it’s on me when it doesn’t get met.
So, even though it was awkward, the other day I just said the thing. It was like, “can you give me a compliment after this argument so I know you still love me?” And he did (a sincere one) and it felt better. And he really appreciated that I asked, even if it felt silly!
Amen! Nobody can read a persons mind.
Great idea !!! 😮😮
@@LakPak2000 Empathy and knowing your partner can go a long way though.
@@Turambaris It absolutely can, but it's hard to know someone when they don't communicate. Using this example, if you tell someone that compliments or reassurance after an argument help you feel like everything's going to be ok, then going forward they can learn to read the situation and give that to you (and maybe learn the signs of when you're still too angry to hear it yet!). But if you never tell them and just expect them to guess, then you're not *letting* them know you or giving them a chance to show empathy, you're expecting them to read your mind, or randomly guess the right answer.
Wow!
I wonder how many women dreamed you into doing content creation?! 🤔 Countless. You’re approaching saint status with these videos.
Because men are often so shallow and dumb. 😂 it’s a fact that women have more complex communication skills.
It’s a pattern…
Cute. Your vids def have been a wife translator for us 😂 Recently, husband finally told me he "gets it now". One hand is facepalming, the other is fistpumping. Half the problem was I lacked the ability to really articulate this stuff well, so thanks!
And part of it is that men (for whatever reason) are just wired to listen to other men more than they do women 🤷
Yeah, I mean it's a chore to have to constantly guess a woman's thinking and all the passive aggressive mind games. That's why marriages fail.
Women: I need you to help out around the house and prioritize our relationship.
Men: Women are so mysterious, what could they possibly want?
Women: I literally told you-
Men: So many mind games. I need a translator…
Women: …
@@genghischan69 Ahaha, you know what's funny. I've recently met up with a girlfriend who got married some 2 years ago. (I'm also female btw, google just messed up my name and it seems like it's impossible/very difficult to change) So, she went off to another country and only came back to visit her family this week, so we were able to see each other. Her perspective on the subject was the following " You know, marriage is a COMPLETELY different experience just from relationships. I've had those. But marriage is another thing." (well, I suppose she had relationships, but not cohabitation. I think cohabitation is like marriage). Then she proceeded to tell me about the things she'd learned. " I've learned men don't understand logic. They don't need it. If you want to discuss some problem honestly and logically, the way you're used to, like you and me would, for example- they just see it as aggression, as a personal attack. And they either close up or want to hurt you or want to attack you back with words. It will not bring you any closer to the resolutuon of the problem and cause a lot of trouble. Anyway, men don't like logic, men don't like when women are open and honest with them. What men require is that woman puts up a play for them. It's insanely hard, it's exhausting, you have to practically break yourself and you habits to do it, but what can we do if we love them. It's their emotional need, I guess. Like we, women, need compliments and being told they love us. The same way men need to avoid logic and need a little emotion theatre. We owe it to men, if we love them, to also cater to this need of theirs." - is what she said. I was like o_O. Those dudes really sound complicated and high-maintenance. I know reasoning isn't men's strongest point, but I would have never guessed it's up to this extent. Well. She might be extrapolating, I dunno. But she did sound like she learned this the hard way through lots of desperate trial and error. So, ugm, if she got it right, women play mind games to satisfy your male emotional needs. So that you feel better and all. Not that easy for a woman, you gotta appreciate all that effort. My poor friend was positively worn out.
Not sure the problem was you not articulating it well...
Can we see a session with the husband translator too? 😂😂❤️
Haha. Most of the translations would just be “I want sex.”
Simple.
Q: "You're really good at this, how did you learn so much?"
A: "Years of failure."
#classic line ❤ "best ending
The thing where she said, "You never take me out anymore. Do you even want to spend time with me?" broke my heart. I get that it might be passive aggressive or come off that way, but it was my genuine question in my marriage. No dates. No Valentines gifts or cards. Forgotten birthdays. Forgotten 25th anniversary. Then, a forgotten 30th. Did he even want to spend time with me?
I agree, I don't think that's necessarily passive-aggressive. I genuinely feel that way if my husband spends all day playing video games, especially since I'm always the one deciding where we go (and he doesn't drive, so he doesn't really surprise me either, since I'm always the one who has to take him everywhere).
no, he didnt.
You're just convenient 😐
You’re not alone. 💙
Were those things ever celebrated? It's important to celebrate each other above all the consumer driven holidays in my opinion
Years of couples counselling and my husband still sees me expressing my hurt feeling and emotional needs as me being selfish. I’ve learned to express them Without anger and still he gets extremely defensive, and acts like my needs for emotional support are pathological.
Your videos are awesome !! If they don’t get through to him, nothing will. He be been sending the funniest ones to him every few days, and we’ve talked a bit about them. You’re literally my last hope. Thank you !!
Hey, how is it going? 🤗
If he thinks that your emotional needs are pathological and doesn't validate them for what they are, I have bad news for you: narcissist! Better alone than with him, but still your choice...
@@bluelle4698 He’s not a narcissist; my father is one, so I know the difference. But he does have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, as I recently realized. He’s projecting feelings of low self-worth, when I ask for validation or support.
If I say: “I feel unappreciated”, he may hear “you fucking SUCK!! You are a failure!!” So he gets flooded and shuts down.
I’m hoping to make him see, in couples counselling, that his projection makes a healthy relationship impossible. And hopefully he’ll want to fix it. I know it can be fixed bc I used to project my OWN issues onto him (relate to my narc father), and I totally stopped that through my own therapy. But if he's unwilling or unable to address this, I don't see how we could have a healthy marriage.
@@bluelle4698Yep. That’s what I came here to comment. Narcissist. Any progress will be for show and disappear quickly.
@@FirstNameLastName-wt5to Be safe 💜
This was great 😂
I want to add that 99% of the time, I don't want to make decisions on a date because I spent all day every day making every freaking decision for the family with little to no imput from him when asked and I just don't want to anymore. But at the same time, I don't want him to just make the decision based only what he wants to do/eat because he should know what I like and since I factor his needs/wants into all the decisions that I make for the family, I expect the same in return.
So he makes no decisions all day? Sounds like you want him to decide, but to decide to go where you want, but won't say
Any one is a mind reader. Always express what "you" want or like; that mature.
@@lili.h1813He doesn't have to be a mind reader, is the thing. He just has to listen when she DOES talk. That way he can factor her into his consideration. If she's always choosing to eat Chinese, or taco bell, or pepperoni pizza with onions, then there's a good chance she will want those things when the option of a date night is brought up. And he can say "hey, instead of going to that burger place that only *I* like, let's go to the pizza place, we both like that. We can get half and half." If he takes the time to remember she likes those things, he can use that information later. The problem is many men don't bother to remember those things in the first place, so it feels like mind reading when it's time to put that knowledge to use.
@@ryanmackenzie6109 I wrote "anyone is a mind reader". Of course is matter of "listening" to each other. Most people "hear" but don't listen.
Flexibility and willingness is key. And of course love.
It's not necessarily because you don't want to anymore. Scientifically speaking, we have a limited number of decisions that we can take per day as humans. So, it's his job to help you take decisions anyway. And since he left you taking all the decisions for the family, it is normal for you to expect him to decide at least where you're going to go together and, obviously, to decide based on what you like too! If he is not doing at least this, why you're still with him? How come you can and are responsible for the entire family' decisions based on all their needs, but he can't decide at least for you two, based only on one other person's needs? This is indeed frustrating and, to me, unacceptable...
"oh, me? years of failure!" gets me every time 😆
Is that even true??
Right! But the thing is he realized that he wasn’t acting in a healthy way, learned how to do better, and then did it! So many people don’t have the self awareness to see they could be doing better and then set out to actually be better!
@@koushalyag3608 It is, he openly talks about how dismissive used to be and that he cheated
😅😅
I don't speak Spanish 😂🤣 it's priceless... Oh this should be mandatory training for 15 years for all the boys to get them understand us😂 ❤
That's a great idea... I'm going to send a link to this video to my adult sons.
So.. do you understand men? :c
@@judas611valid. His videos do speak for men too, but be real. Men are predominantly the ones with the fat egos.
I appreciate these videos! It's very rare that a man gives useful advice to men on how to have a healthy, happy relationship with a woman. Most of the advice from men on how to treat their wives is based on how the male brain works, not how women actually think. Men, listen to this dude. He knows what he's talking about.
I know this is a lot. But I’m just totally grateful that someone out there is expecting men to work on their relationship. Not just putting all the weight of the relationship on the woman’s shoulders. It takes two to make it work.
I used to tell my husband it takes 2 people to make a marriage work, but only one to screw it up.
He's my ex-husband. Just sayin'.
Men are blamed for literally all relationship issues.
Watching it again!! ".....SHOOK IT AROUND VIOLENTLY?" I just can't get enough!!! 🤣
“How about non-sexual affection?” - “Never heard of it.” 😂😂😂
For many men, non-sexual touch only happens when they are not starved for sex.
Men don't get married to get friend zoned by their wives. Especially when you willfully engaged in sex all the time when dating.
Yeah funny cause many men know exactly what it is when they are dating. Then give them marriage and some time and poof like magic they forget
@@user-sz5oc1qz3b Correct. Marriage is like buying a house. You need to maintain a house just like you need to maintain a marriage. You don’t just buy it and expect it to take care of itself.
Dude, I am not even married, and have no plans of ever getting married, but these videos have become "must see tv" for me! It's not just romantic relationships this insight can impact positively, but any interpersonal relationship. Honestly, this needs to be implemented into school curriculum beginning in kindergarten...shoot, pre-school. Every parent needs to attend at least one course each week so the training is implemented at home as well. 😊
Spot on 😊🎉
Create it. We need it 🙌🏽👏🏽🙏🏽
No shit!!
I’m a preschool teacher for a Head Start nonprofit serving low-income families. Our main focus is teaching social skills and emotional regulation, woot woot! A lot of 3-5yo’s are straight up violent at that age. (Developing frontal lobe means developing executive functions.) It’s a win when a 3yo who automatically scratches, bites and pushes, pauses and asks a teacher for help getting a toy. I’d love to see this content taught in high school-and also more people who’ve worked through their childhood trauma teaching preschoolers. It’s an uphill effort with teachers and parents who automatically criticize, reject, and punish little boys and girls instead of guiding and teaching with unconditional love and respect in those daily moments where they’re socially and emotionally challenged.
This statement is "husband approved" - I freaken LOVE you! While I don't like the "guess at what she wants" as opposed to just asking her to partner with you to pick the restaurant for dinner, you got SO MUCH right! During the dating period, men locked in on us and made us feel heard and understood. THAT's why we fell in love with you - we liked you and you honored us. Then we married you and you checked off that work and basically reverted to your usual routines. This video really identifies how to reconnect and make your relationship work for BOTH of you!Love it and sent the link to my husband!
Some people really don't know what they want until they've talked about it, & eliminated things they don't want.
I've heard some good advice for the "what to eat" or "where to go" question. Instead of asking the open-ended question, give them three options. Say something like, "Where do you want to go? I was thinking we could have mexican, burgers, or chinese." (Or the same with specific restaurants.) That makes it much easier to choose something together.
Maybe you're the one who changed and after a period of rejection and psychological abuse be found no incentive to care anymore.
I found myself a man who navigates most of these points of friction well because he’s close with his parents, who have a healthy marriage. It feels better than winning the lottery. I’m studying to become a marriage and family therapist. I hope to help men and women understand each other like this guy is.
My bf is the same way. I had no idea what a healthy relationship was before I met him and we’ve both grown so much individually and as a couple.
Good luck on becoming a therapist, I wish you the best 💗💪🏼
Ive said it before and Ill say it again.
5, 3, 1 technique.
One of you lists 5 places. The other picks 3 out of those theyd be happy with, and then the first person chooses out of those.
Game changer.
Ive used it to cut short what would be a 2.5 hour conversation of where wed like to eat amongst 4 women numerous times into like 5 minutes. Then everybody is excited to go becuse everyone has been consulted and got to pick something.
Here's another one.
Every day one of you is the giver, the other is the receiver. Each day you alternate roles. The giver does what the receiver wants (within reason) and you both agree on it. It's worked wonders for my married life.
On the days I'm the giver, I focus on her and anything that would make her happy. She feels no pressure. On the days I'm the receiver, I ask for what I want and she gives it, vice versa on her day. We've never been happier.
You are like a breath of fresh air. People need to stop saying women are impossible to understand. We usually say what we want, and men just dont get it or overlook it. When we stop telling you directly and just drop implications, it's because we no longer have the energy or feel its worth putting in. This guys is awesome and im glad he makes these videos.
no, women are difficult to understand. just own it.
@@maewest68 Lol. He was completely on point with us.
You do not, in fact, say what you want. Not directly. Often, not ever. Women literally answer a man with "you should just know" all the time.
@@thisishisbubbles9362Because he's a player. In the top % of men who get lots of girls. Lots of practice. He even cheated on his wife. Most men don't have a lot of practice.
@danielallan8061 That's not why. Yes, he did those things, but my husband is very good in most of the same areas, and he had never slept with anyone before me. He had 3 girlfriends before we met, and that was it. He has had girls after him for years, too. Guys, too, actually. You don't need the experience to be a man like this. This man figured it out by being that horrible guy at one point. My husband figured it out by being the opposite.
Me coming into this: this will be hilarious!!
Me coming out of this: contemplating all of my actions and ways i communicate in my relationship..
"I heard sex, I understood that word" 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I was laughing in the bath. Oh come on, men can't be that literal;)
@@meowsaidthecat5338 they are that literal😂
I’m going to start all discussions with “sex” At the start of every sentence and see how far we get. 😅
@@Nitra813 just like if you say “outside”or “walk” or “squirrel” to a dog.
Why did they stay up all night taking when we first started dating? My husband now spends all night watching tv and on his phone ignoring me and then tries to wake me up at 3am for some .... Also knowing that I suffer from insomnia. If I'm actually sleeping please don't wake me up. He'll be asleep in 30 sec and then I'm up the rest of the night.
He sounds like a selfish narcissist. Are you sure he cares about you in any way at all? I mean, you did say he knows about your insomnia and he still doesn't make anything different to accommodate you... You don't see this as a red flag?
Men are very goal oriented. For a lot of them, the whole idea was to "get a girl" and they'll do pretty much anything to achieve that. Well, now he has one. Unfortunately, no one told him that getting the girl. was just the beginning, not the end. Women struggle with something similar. We think marriage (or commitment) now means happily ever after, and wonder why it hasn't fixed all of our unresolved trauma and met every emotional need. From my observation, women need to take more ownership over their own emotional wellbeing, rather than expecting our partners to provide us with happiness, and men need to perceive relationships as an ongoing series of goals.
If your husband is a gamer, just tell him a relationship is a tower defense game with no upper level limit, and his current build is getting overrun because he hasn't upgraded his towers since you were dating.
@@ladyveracity The way you try to solve the issue sounds like dealing with a child and involves that sort of manipulation: to make him think that the relationship is like a game that needs upgrades... Sounds like an endless effort from your side to keep reminding him to upgrade the "game"... This is not a healthy relationship. It does look like trying to "upgrade" a child, not living with a partner. Narcissists are undeveloped children in their minds, so it make sense why you came up with such a "solution"... 🙄
@@ladyveracityyou explain this very well. Gonna show my partner😊
@@bluelle4698huh how is this manipulative. She literally said we need to take ownership for our emotions
“Oh, me? Years of failure.” 😂
Thank you for all that you’re doing here for us. This is such helpful content
Love every video you do. You have a gift.
You’re very kind!!
@@JimmyonRelationshipsvery truthful... My gosh you're spot on with everything.
@@JimmyonRelationships Wow… there’s way more in these short videos than years of counseling! Sincere thanks.. on behalf of humanity!
Thank you for creating these videos ! I have a hard time expressing myself growing up in a emotionally immature household with parents that fought in front of me all the time 🤣 its nice to see good examples of love and appreciation. Sadly i grew up thinking silent treatments are normal .
Im learning how to be a better wife & partner with every video !
This is not only for the husbands, but wives can learn something from this, too! I am appreciating my loving hubby of 27.9 years even more because he does so many of the things the translator says. What a terrific way to present self-help to couples. The brains of men and women are wired differently ❤️ and it keeps life interesting, to say the least! Thank you for your awesome videos!
People are so broken in ways they don’t even realize. Makes coming together as one so much harder. Thank you for offering lessons in a funny nonjudgmental format. As a society we need all the help we can get ❤🎉
Beautifully put!❤ One of the best things I learnt from Jimmy is 'hurt people, hurt people.' It isn't always deliberate, maybe they're just in pain 😢
Not every woman is like this- I am direct and not really emotional. What I need from my husband, I tell him straight up and I usually always get what I need/ want. Vice versa as well. I will say though he loves me unconditionally and I feel absolutely empowered and safe to be direct and honest with him. After 20 years we realized that conflict is normal and don’t make mountains out of molehills
This dude is repairing our society, so effectively, he needs to have more recognition for his immense efforts!!
Correct. What is the TH-cam equivalent of an Academy Award?
"You get all that from her complaining about the dishes?"
Yes!! 😂
My husband is such a good man, we've been very happily married for 21 years, I feel like if I want him to do something I need to be more clear in my expectations. The poor guy can't possibly be expected to guess. ❤
more men should pay you for this service like in real life.... your awesome.
Yes!!!!❤ @Jimmy could totally be a coach and make a fortune, if men actually listen to his advice😅
Literally everything you just said is why I’m currently filling out divorce papers in this very moment.
He's better off without you
This might be for married couples but it’s really teaching me (a high schooler who’s single) how to have a healthy relationship. Considering my parents are divorced and they were pretty toxic to each other, this really helps lay that foundation of what a good relationship looks like and for that, I thank you :))
Jimmy, of all your videos, this one really sums it up the entire situation the best and with great humor! Thank you so much
Bear in mind that most of us don’t want to say where we want to eat because we were never taught to ask for anything and there is also judgement involved in any place we suggest.
That is definitely our own stuff to work through, but it is why we do it.
Yes, I said 20yrs ago where I wanted to go for my birthday and I was told it was too expensive. I'm the one who pays all the bills, it was easily affordable but just shut down fast. The message was that I wasn't worth it.
Nope we haven't done anything for my birthday in many years now... I do my own thing with Friends who care. He is teaching me how to live without him as Jimmmy says so brilliantly.
Yes. And even in the skit he said, "If the place isn't good, it'll be her fault cuz she picked it." Depending on how she's blamed later, will determine if she ever picks a place again. 😢
@@cannibalbananas And the same doesn't apply to him?
@@Obi-WanKannabis The point of the skit wasn't about him. It was about understanding his wife. And if he wants her to feel comfortable expressing herself, blaming her later will stop her from speaking up next time.
I LOVE the nuance that you show! You're so good at showing how individuals need to take accountability for themselves while also expressing that it's reasonable to be disappointed in the other person
"How did you learn so much?"
"Years of failure."
Preach. 😂
This was the epitome of perfection 🎉 And that Carrabba's bit was 😅! Thank you for all that do!
So glad you liked it!
“Let’s search for underlying desires!”
”Food?”
😂
The restaurant choice part: "She wants to go where she wants to go but doesn't know where that is yet." 😂
Also, "If I get naked and shake it around violently, will that get her in the mood?" 💀 😂🤣 💀 😅 Too funny!
I sent this to my husband and his reply was, " it's obviously satire"
Yeah.
I feel so trapped and diminished and played for a sincere fool.
That's ironic... Maybe you should have him look up the definition of "satire" because clearly he's only got half the picture on that too.
Satire (oxford languages): the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to *expose and criticize people's stupidity* or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other *topical issues*.
Perhaps emphasize the "people's stupidity" part of it? Satire does not mean fiction.
And I'm sorry, so sorry he's not hearing you. It is not foolish to hope for better, but sadly hope is a double edged sword sometimes. You are not crazy, you are not overly sensitive, you have a generous heart, but there's only so much a generous person can give without running out if they never receive in return. Try being generous to yourself for once, it won't make you selfish, and you would be surprised how much you can give yourself. I hope your husband wakes up from his half world before it's too late for him, but if he doesn't you'll be fine.
@anivijudi thank you! I think his definition of "just satire" means to him that it exaggerates the stupid foibles, therefore they are not as much of a factor as they are made out to be. Sort of reverse gaslighting LOL? Or like "isn't that cute" to a child's exaggeration. That's the demeaning way he treats anything I say that is not praising The Emperor's New Clothes if you know that classic story. I resist facing the writing on his big stonewall, I am finding it so hard to accept that he has changed even though as he walks by sometimes I hear snippets of the misogynist trash he listens to etc.
He is an only child and his mother says "cuz he was so perfect she didn't want another" sigh... but his adult life has demanded accountability and he was let go from 14 jobs in 11 yrs basically for the same anti team behaviors he does to me. So I am slowly realizing it's not me, healing my toxic shame that he feeds on like a psychic vampire. But deep inside, my scared part, InnerChild, whatever you call it, still hopes for the wake-up miracle like Jimmy did, that Promises will be kept, that this is all a passing bad dream and I will be judged worthy of keeping and care... Other times like him mocking as "just comedy/satire " this 1st video I sent, I see that it's likely hopeless and I will join many millions whose dreams are stolen and smashed by Another's free will to fill their heads with hostile rhetoric as an emotional drug to escape their own demons and fears.
Ultimately happiness is an inside job, and I am the only person that I am guaranteed to spend my whole life with. It's up to me to heal this wound for myself and quit denying that it's badly infected and not "just a little scratch" LOL.
But I flip-flop between that reality and Hope...
Has Jimmy said somewhere what moment/incident got him to reconsider his path and go to counseling? He has sure made good of his wake-up call addressing the men's generational dominance issues. They are not the only problems in relationships of course but I hope he sticks with such a dominant one that he knows and addresses so effectively.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I feel you. My husband's been a disaster as well.
He just doesn’t speak Spanish
@@ChrissyM232 LOL
I think our relationship with ourself is the most important relationship. When we are taught to abandon ourself we actually can't show up for others.
Never make anyone else your world. It will never end well.
I've seen this...probably over on your TT page. Every marriage should have a 'wife translator' cuz husbands don't understand us women and what we're actually talking about. These 'wife translators' would make relationships/marriages 10xs better!!!
When I say "I don't want anything for Christmas," it usually means I don't really want "something money can buy". Time, attention, and connection are great gifts... 😄 A picnic would be lovely. It's not really my significant other's job to guess at what I want - it's MY job to express what I want. 😂 It's true though - sometimes *I* don't know what I want.
That video was FANTASTIC! I'm crying from laughing so hard!! 1,000% spot on!
Yes!! I’m so glad you liked it!
So I just sent you a little $ gift, which I almost never do. Because you’re brave enough to take on this challenging topic in such a way that can relate to men and women where we were are all so lost. Thank you so much I watch your little shorts all the time. Your talent goes beyond just men and women of my age, 50 and older, but it reaches the younger generation who are confused about how the opposites of sexual gender can work together, because we are all turning into a mess as a society of one gender. Please keep up this most important work of bringing men and women together, as it was naturally intended.
I believe your work on intimacy could change the divorce rate that’s how powerful it is
This also needs both partners to be putting in the work to communicate and be vulnerable, especially when expressing their needs. Otherwise in this instance the man will without a doubt start to feel overwhelmed and feel like he's doing all the work
Oh my goodness! I'm a woman and this sounds like my husband in SO many ways. As someone whose dad worked 12s and who didn't see a healthy relationship, I had no clue about this kind of stuff! I always heard (from the outside world) that men are "simple" and "don't need much". Holy moly, THAT IS NOT TRUE! I feel like the "traditional man" in our marriage, and he's the girl. I remember the first year of our marriage he said he felt like I was in the backseat and he was driving the car. I was confused and puzzled. I tried to ask questions, but his responses never made sense. So I figured he meant I wasn't doing enough around the house, so I did more. Our whole marriage he has been complaining, and I haven't had any clue. The time he told me he didn't "feel a connection", I had no clue. I blamed myself for a lot of problems, and tried to improve myself every day. I became my biggest project. I had no clue this is what he needed! This kind of stuff isn't natural for me. All the little incidents of anger and disappointments. So many incidents! And each one hurt and cut my heart. I put him on a pedestal. I felt inferior. I thought he knew his thoughts better than I knew mine. I was the one who just miscommunicating. My feelings and word of inferiority actually made him think that I was. I thought I was the one who goofed up the majority of the time. Who wants to hurt their spouse? I'm a broken person. I'm going to save this video. Maybe it will help
"Listen for the hurt underneath" is the best tip ever for ALL relationships!
That doesn't excuse what some people say or do when hurt. I've had women say some very horrible things to me and I left.
GREAT 👍 GREAT 👍 one! Keep them coming Jimmy!
I’ve been married 38 years and this IS truth!! 💪 btw… I’m 55. Still truthful 👍
I’m so glad you liked it!!
Oh man, your videos make me cry. Cry of sadness that most of them are the exact thing I’ve been experiencing for 17 years, also cry with the realisation that I’ve tried to communicate so many of those to my spouse and have been getting too much too many pushbacks throughout the years, that I couldn’t even bring myself to self to show your videos to him. I think I’m exhausted, I’m stuck as i wanna out but for so many reasons (including. Kids) I won’t be able to. What I am feeling is just dead inside
🤣 can you send him to my house, love this guy
OMG, LOVE THIS VIDEO! This guy’s humor is exactly like mine. I busted out laughing 3 times. This is the perfect way to do an informative video with humor. Please please make more!
Hope Jimmy’s ok. It’s Saturday almost afternoon and no videos yet. Hope he’s spending time with his family😊
Just want him to know we all care about him and appreciate his hard work at helping all of us succeed.
Oh this is so nice of you! Doing well! Trying to give mom a break for Mother’s Day weekend :)
@@JimmyonRelationshipsAwwww. Have fun with yr fam!😃
@jimmy on relationships I'm glad to see you practice what you preach.
@@fatscotsgalI have a feeling if he wasn't practicing what he preaches, he'd be divorced by now unless his wife didn't know about the videos...
That's the best advice, pity as so little amount of men looking for advice in relation❤
Carrabba’s get on board… yet?
* somebody needs to give them a translator
I love this! Keep the good stuff coming, Jimmy.
Thank you so much!!
Your videos have been super helpful. Is there someone out there who does similar videos from the opposite perspective? How women can better meet their husband's needs? I'd love to have a more balanced approach to what we watch and discuss together.
Absolutely, working on those, because you're right.
That's a great idea, we need a husband translator.
I mean, women have been taught how to meet the needs of men for millennia...... isn't that true ??? We're just loving some balance right now!! Thanks @Jimmy
@@jefdbyMen have been meeting the needs of all society! Can't the women meet the needs of just their individual man?
@@jefdbyI see where you're comign from. Personally, I have a difficult time understanding people in general, so having both perspectives is very useful for me! We aren't the same people who grew up "serving the needs of men." That time period is, for the most part, long gone and sexism is only present in abusive environments that should not reflect on your partner unless they are contributing to it, regardless of the gender portraying it. It's always a good idea to, if you genuinely love someone, try to understand how to cooperate and treat them properly, especially when it comes to your spouse. After all, treat others how you wish to be treated. That's just what love is, a constant upkeep and effort for improvement, fulfillment, love, and peace. Not to imply you meant anything bad by it at all, I'm just explaining my perspective: I wouldn't like to have my needs ignored simply because of my gender's history, which has absolutely nothing to do with me as an individual. That would make me feel very unloved and even resented. By my desire to learn about my partner, I avoid making them feel ashamed or unvalued as I would in that situation, which is always the goal. ❤
I agree with you though, the videos are great! I feel very seen and understood in them as a woman, and it's helped me come to terms with how I've been poorly treated in past relationships, even non-romantic. 😊
Jimmie, how do you know us (women) so well? You are so spot on, and with a bit of humor! Thank you, someone understands and cares, wish our husbands would!
I love the humility joke.. "how'd you learn so much? ... Oh yeah, years of failure." 🤣🤣🤣
You really are very effective at your skills. The understanding you provide is integral and PARAMOUNT to healthy relating. Thank you, Sir for your efforts. You make the world a better place for so many. God bless you and your family. ❤
And perfectly spot-on, as always
"Oh me? Years of failure" 😂 that was it for me
This is so underrated. I wish my husband who I'm now going through a divorce with could have seen this a year ago. I just sent it to him. Not in hopes we will get back together because I left him but so he can understand why I finally gave up and left.
I am so glad you can add humor to your teaching. I laugh out loud so often at your videos because they're funny AND painfully true.
When you lighten the mood that way I find myself so much more open to what you have to say.
Thank you for these videos. They are fantastic. It takes maturity, effort and understanding to communicate in a marriage.
Perfection, Jimmy! Love when you do the different characters! ❤
This video is very good! I've been married happily for almost 40 years and we have kids and grandkids. I believe each side must have patience with the other...women and men ard different and that's what makes it exciting but we must be aware of our differences. Many women neglect to see how much men care and misinterpret their man's behavior. Nowadays, there's much more awareness and that's great.
Thank you, Jimmy, for your insights and honesty ❤ Everybody ought to follow your channel, and get more conscious and Intentional in their relationships 🙏
These videos are a game changer in the relationship department. Amazing! 🌟
I didn't realize Mario had a side hustle as a wife translator 😂 do this with a red shirt next time!
I didn't expect a wholesome video. This was actually pretty nice to hear. I'll remember these things when getting into a relationship.
I LOVE THIS 🎉!!!! 😂 Jimmy.... spot on!
That’s so nice of you!!
You are awesome, bright and funny 😂🙏
You're very kind!
the world needs more like YOU.
This is excellent, and couldn't be any better. I hope you post it on every platform there is. Beautiful.
Love your role-plays haha
Thank you so much!
One pro tip: if you want your husband to talk about your inner world, maybe it'd be good also to worry about knowing how his inner world works.
That has worked very well for my wife and I 😊
I still struggle to guess what your target audience is, tho.
Women whose partners won't talk about her inner world and won't talk about his inner world either.
@@nicolab2075 Sorry, I don't understand what you mean.
OMG, this amazing tight on 💯!!! I sent this video to my husband, 1st he said he got the message then later we had an argument and he mocked the video. Nothing will help this relationship.
This is so great! I hope you and Emily benefit from all the views! Keep up the good work Jimmy!
My husband has forgotten Christmas presents for me the first and third Christmases we have been together. The second Christmas he had the kids get me something from my Amazon list because I threw a fit. This is the fourth year and I am working very hard to not have expectations because it made a big issue when I started crying at his mom’s Christmas last year. I looked so ungrateful. Earlier this year I got a student violin and called that early Christmas for me so I wouldn’t be disappointed again. He’s so good about so many things but he teaches sexual assault/interpersonal skill training at work and that stuff doesn’t translate well to marital relationships. I know men aren’t supposed to comment on women’s bodies but I wish he’d let me know if he thought I was beautiful or even okay looking. I asked for it the first year and he reminded me that folks shouldn’t depend on external validation, that it should be something from within. All I see is my defects. I’m tired of telling myself he still wants sex so I can’t be that bad. Men aren’t supposed to touch women sexually/flirtatiously without asking. Sometimes I’d like him to touch me in passing. Slide his hand across my back as he walks by, initiate a hug or kiss more than just when I’ve completely withdrawn. He only notices me as a sexual being when sex has been agreed to and initiated, only late at night when the kids are dead asleep. I don’t feel attractive or desirable and wish someone would see me that way. I’m getting older so I know what looks I have are fading. I know it doesn’t matter and I shouldn’t feel this way. It shows a lack of gratitude for all he’s done for us. He is kind, honest, a good father and provider, slow to anger, highly intelligent and accomplished, he lives his beliefs and strives to be a peacemaker. It’s so stupid. I shouldn’t feel like this but I haven’t been able to get over it yet. I’m trying so hard not to have expectations or make assumptions because I always end up disappointing myself with them.
You shouldn’t feel like this? You should. All these things you mentioned wanting are BELOW the BARE minimum. You’re trying to live life without air, but each time you inevitably pass out, you tell yourself try harder, I shouldn’t NEED air.
Yes your partner has great qualities. But are they qualities for YOU? That feed YOU? Don’t feel silly! You’re correct. Your man is fucking up.
Your feeings are the indicators that something is not what it seems to be. He sounds like a covert narcissist to me. He does everything right for the eyes of the people, but when it comes to validate you and your feelings, he lacks tremendously. If you don't feel the love and connection that you should and need, he's clearly not the man for you, regardless of his outside "good" traits. This is a major way of manipulating someone to become dependent on you: show them what a great person/father/mother you can be, but never validate the partner' emotions, making them doubt their feelings for what you show as "great" in the relationship... When you think that you shouldn't feel in a specific way because the partner seems like a "great person", that's a red flag of manipulation (mind over feelings). The feelings never lie, only the mind can be tricked and lied to... Be aware of a covert narcissist... Stay safe
Hi,
Bless you ❤
Marriage is not easy.
All I can tell you is from my own experiences.
Sex does not validate who you are.
😢
You are kind, honest and a good mother.
Do what I do, buy your own Christmas gift.
Make sure you treat yourself good!
When you learn your value, Trust me, he will too.
Hubbies can take advantage, get into ruts very quickly.
But when you become strong 💪 watch what happens.
When you are not codependant he'll be way out of his comfort zone.
Trust me on this, bubble bath, romantic book, think about your hubby though as the hero of the book.
You'll find it'll drive him wild. LOL
But make sure when the kids are asleep, your fast asleep too. LOL
As long as you feed his habits he'll keep treating you as a servant rather than his wife.
You've got this sister!
When you change he'll have no choice, he'll have to face up to the strong woman you become.
Love isn't about looks or being attractive, it's about mutual respect for each other.
It's hard work, but once you work on your self and tell your self your a princess, you'll never look back.
Praying for your marriage. ❤
I’m so sorry he is not making you a priority. I think some people get so focussed on appearing good that they forget to BE good, especially to their families.
You are allowed to want someone to meet your emotional needs. I think he is making it your fault he will not step up. It’s easier for him if you do all the work of looking after yourself.
I sort of hate flowers...because I try to keep them alive for abnormal amounts of time and because I have to tend them.😊
My wife is the same way!
Yes, don't buy me flowers I now need to take care of and tend to. I love flowers, but part of buying it should be maintaining it and getting rid of it when it's past its prime
Your characters are all on point! Thanks for sprinkling logic with humor.
I don’t know if my husband will ever understand your videos he is very emotionally stunted but it has helped me to know that at least some men can get it. You made me feel so validated I’m grateful. I love my husband but the hurt has outweighed everything for over twenty years. My needs stopped being met after the first year or two now it’s been almost 28 years together with me always feeling lonely and neglected. As a Christian I think it can be harder sometimes because we get so used to putting others needs above our own we make it easy for them to use and abuse us.
If men feel closeness through sex why can they be so casual and dismissive with multiple sexual partners?
Cos they dont love those women
Unfortunately this never gets fed into the target group's algorithm.
"sex. I recognized that word" LOL
You always have the best advice. You have really learned well from your failures and I am so grateful for that. You understand my feelings better than I do!!!! ❤ thanks for all you are giving back.
How about we just don't marry people we don't get along with?
Say that part again… You would do all of those things if you were divorced…
Things that she doesn't have to do, but would if SHE were divorced, duh.
@@Frejborgspot on. Both points are very valid
You are wonderful, this really should be taught in High School.
Love your videos! Outstanding work with humor while touching human emotions ❤
I'm really glad you're doing this, but it makes me nervous because it's only one side. Eggriches...Love and Respect. We need both sides.
I just spent an hour watching your videos and you hit every nail on the head!
😂😂😂❤❤❤ They need to teach this stuff at high school!! It’s desperately needed!!
Love your videos Jimmy! You seem to hit the nail on the head each time.