how this one habit is ruining your life
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ธ.ค. 2024
- Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegle...
The Best of Series | 10-years In The Making: • THE BEST OF - Clark Ke...
/ clarkkegley
/ clarkkegley
/ theclarkkegley
We're Hiring! Apply here to join our team:
forms.gle/bQsQ...
MY FAVORITE TOOLS
🟣 Book List - read if you want to grow - kit.co/clarkke...
🔴 TH-cam Gear - how I film my videos - kit.co/clarkke...
🔴 Studio Gear - make filming easier - kit.co/clarkke...
🟡 Shortform - my fav book summaries - shortform.com/c... (affiliate)
⚫️ Notion - my digital "second brain" - affiliate.noti... (affiliate)
SOCIAL
/ clarkkegley
/ clarkkegley
/ theclarkkegley
WHO AM I
Hey there, I’m Clark Kegley, a pro drummer turned self-improvement advocate. Here on TH-cam, I provide guidance to help you transform into your 2.0 version.
P.S. Some of the links in this description are affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you purchase through them. It's a great way to support the channel at no extra cost to you 👊
![ประสบการณ์ จ้าง Developer ที่ผมจะไม่มีวันลืม [ภาค2]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/pZbsSDRrmXA/mqdefault.jpg)
![CAMPปลิ้น | รวม Highlight 2024! PART [1/2]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6hnvNnvYloU/mqdefault.jpg)
Hey YOU! Just wanted to drop you a line and congratulate you on wanting to improve your life. Not everyone strives to better themselves, so I have a ton of respect for you being here. Let's mix it up! Trying a more "raw rant" style today. Do you like more straight-shooter vids, or more produced deep dives? lmk! Oh, and if you dig where we're going in this video, here's a free training on identity shifting to change your life ➡ www.clarkkegley.com/free-case-study (no sign-up required) - you can also learn more there about how to heal and shift out of your core stories. We do this on our Metamorphic coaching program week 3 with our inner shadow shifting method btw ✌
I guess youtube algorithims are tired of hearing my stories. As a part time Uber driver I have many stories I share with some passengers that are special, and love to talk. I noticed how I sound later on thinking about the convos, and what I said. I had an MO lol same ole story about business successes, failures, and blaming others for my choices. At 42 now I can really move on with my life and create a new story, my life is not over it has just begun.😀 Thank you
U r 45 bby 😍
People just relax enjoy life b positive about yourself don't hek your mind to many thoughts just let it be whatever it is nothing last forever good or bad
I like this style, please continue to make more videos like this! Just sit and talk, what could be simpler?
thank you for helping this 16 ys
Not today, my current story is 10 weeks alcohol free 70 days today. 🏆🥇
That’s what’s up! Good for you!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
lets goooo
Congrats bro 🎉
Congrats dude ! Keep it going !
I just wanted to thank you. I'm glad that I did come across your channel. I can certainly relate to what you say. Now I just need to do and not procrastinate. Your three questions are so right now for me. I realize that can and have taken life advice from a 20 year old. So now I working through "I'm too old" being 60 I want to be that 20 year old and leave everything behind, be free. Scared as shit, but I'm taking the jump, I have to create the new 2.0 of me. I've quit my job, leaving the house behind and hitting the road, because I'm going to find a new place, career and love, as I'm single (death do us part) as my partner died in my arms. Two years living in stuck. Now my time to flow once again. Feel and live life. Thank you.
Love this format bro - the high produced stuff is amazing; but the straight to camera is good to connect with ya!
So true… reading “Journey to Ixtlan” (Carlos Castaneda) in 1978 opened me up to this and I started learning then how to lose self-importance and personal identities to the stories.
Now I have no stories so I can adapt to all stories. There’s nothing holding me back in life because I know the stories are not me… I have stories because I have a human life with s body, thoughts, emotions but I am not those things, I AM SPIRIT having a human experience and once you transcend the illusion through meditation, presence and developing heart coherency you’re no longer limited to the programming including your personal stories because you become aware of something much greater and everything starts to change. Everything! Thanks Clark.. so well articulated.. great video!
You know you're changing your core stories when your perspective on aspects of your life start changing.
I'm starting to view influencers I used to watch differently and started following people like Clark. I would have cringed at thinking of myself so positivity years ago. I wasn't able to absorb the possibility that I may be worth something.
P.S Clark, whoever captioned your video called you "Cork", and I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣🤣
YEP YEP !!! So much truth in your videos. I wish my 14 year old son understood... Create your destiny! Act right! Problems WILL come as well - Dont be a victim! Too much anxiety in teens these days. CHOOSE TO SUCCEED - LOVE - etc etc.
I'm a small business owner and constantly beating myself up with imposters syndrome and trying to be everything else but what I need to be. Your videos have helped me come back to that foundation and now I'm working on remodeling and bringing out the best of myself. Thank you so much for being out there so I may have to stumble and find your motivation
This is exactly how I felt today, I’ve been journaling the same shitty feelings since Friday. And I woke up today and told myself, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m just exerting too much mental energy on something/someone who will probably never understand how I feel or felt. It’s tiring, but brain dumping has been so therapeutic. ❤ I’m closing that chapter for now, it’ll always be there to revisit, but I don’t plan on doing that anytime soon lol. Thank you for this awesome video.
Thanks for watching and leaving a comment
You won a prize....🎁
Message right away to acknowledge☝🎆
I changed journaling. instead of using it like a therapist, use it as a journal to be grateful for eveyerthing. A gratitude journal
This video got me thinking about a story (or more of a fantasy) that I often think about. It’s that one about ‘If I knew then what I know now’ I think about all the missed opportunities that happened because I didn’t have the knowledge to go about things differently. But I began to think about it differently. If I had have known then what I know now, there would be so many things that I would never have done. Sure, most of them were reckless, foolish, or outright dangerous, but looking back on them they were the best days of my life. So I am now happy with the story of how I lived my life. The things that I missed out on are irrelevant now, but the experiences I had were priceless. Yes, wisdom comes with age, but naivety in youth is not such an awful thing we tend to think it was.
Thanks for your videos, they always prompt me to think about things differently.
This is really useful and spot on, and there are two further steps I've found really powerful in working with false beliefs. First is that once you've identified the story you have to ask yourself "How is this story benefitting me?" It may seem silly to think a story like "I am unlovable" benefits us, but if we didn't think it did in some way, we wouldn't believe it or hold onto it. Most of the negative stories we cling to keep us from facing one of our core fears, feeling pain we think we can't handle, or having to take responsibility for our own actions and happiness.
For example, the story that "I am unlovable" makes it so that I am inherently un-fixable, which means that if something goes wrong in a relationship, instead of having to examine myself and what actions and thoughts lead to my part in what went wrong, I can fall back on the story that I'm unlovable, which makes me feel better about losing myself in whatever addiction or distraction I use to numb the pain. That is just one example, but once you see that, you can much more easily see how this lie you're telling yourself doesn't actually benefit you in a positive way, and serves no real purpose, even if it were true, so why keep believing it?
The second is to reframe the story to let go of control. Essentially all the negative stories we tell ourselves keep us in some state of powerlessness and are trying to control what we cannot control. Once we shift our stories to things we can control, life becomes immeasurably more satisfying and fulfilling. Using the example above, instead of the story "I am unlovable," shifting the story to "I cannot control how much others love me or choose to show the love they do have" is an amazingly freeing belief, even if it is also heartbreaking at times. And it naturally leads to seeing the ways in which we were trying to control the love someone gave us, and that the lie we were really telling ourselves was not that we are unlovable, but that we can control how much someone loves us. And this also leaves so much room for grieving, even back to childhood where the story may have originated. Instead of thinking "my parents did not love me therefore I am unlovable" it can become "I was unable to control how much love my parents had for me, or how much love they were able to show to me."
Since you were asking about this particular content, here is my answer. This video took me from the level of I should try this, and I’m referring to your program, to the next step, I’m going to do this. I’m grateful I found you. You are the only one that actually makes the most sense out of everyone I have watched and listened to so far. I just decided to put your program on my to do list. Also, I will watch every single video you did. You are a gift from the universe and I feel fortunate to have found you. I don’t usually comment on content so I find myself out of my comfort zone even just writing this, however I had to praise you on your commitment, on your dedication, on the authenticity with which you deliver this content. Congratulations! I stand in awe and admiration. Thank you!
PS. Not a stalker just a follower
It’s you being so grounded that makes me want to watch. My Mom is buried in all these old stories. I sent her your video. Ty
the guy is pretty damn brilliant. thank you for making these videos. Probably the best spent time on youtube ever. I love these. I'm going through a really hard time at the moment. These videos are very helpful.
Great speech! I liked it much! Congratulations for his work as a motivational coach.
Great speech and video my friend! Congratulations for it. It was a great idea to edit it with subtitles in English, for all that don't understand well your native language. Blessings Clark, from Sonora, México 🇲🇽.
Limiting beliefs are the vilest thing. I wish all of you reading this to overcome yours. Work on it! 🍀
Omg!!!! Thank you for the thorn story 💡💡💡💡 that’s what I needed 🙌
Letting go of the need to entertain…oh, it’s deep! My current story: Finding balance; my previous story: I have to work as hard as possible 😅
So powerful. The things you do, and believe that are used for “ protection mechanisms “ are really hurting you. Life is hard sometimes, but that’s life & it’s beautiful ✨
Hi Clark! I love your videos. Thank you for motivating me to start my own TH-cam account.
Thanks for the subtitles, its help so much 🙏 May god always bless you.
This was prodigously eye-opening. I cannot believe, Clark, that you just broke down my problems and fears and views better than anyone ever could, and this video really touched me deeply man. Right after I watched your other "Identity shifting" vid which led me to this one (and I subscribed to you now, for sure), I can now see how my whole life was bullshit. But maybe now it doesn't have to be anymore.... maybe now I can man up and fix everything that's always been broken - because now I know what to fix thanks to you man. Thanks to you.
Too young? Too old? I'm almost certain I'm two decades older than you, Clark, and I still look to you for advice, because your content is solid and effective. I was hoping to discover something new about myself with this video, and I was not disappointed: I tend to avoid certain social situations because it means I'm taking a more active role in society, something that was not greatly encouraged growing up; with the examples my father was living, I wanted no part in life, if that's what life was about. That being discovered, I have something further to work with, and to work on. Thank you!
Thanks Clark. You’re a real 1
Hey Clark! I really like the realness in this video! You're crushing it brother!
I just want to mention an aspect of this video that I'm already feeling emotional about.
Regarding the story of the woman and the thorn. Although the psychological stories are removable I can't say the same for physical thorns.
I had a debilitating condition diagnosed to me when I was 15, I could barely walk. I am so much better now and the disease is in remission. But almost more than a year ago I discovered through My doctors that I have a 3 vertebrae fusion in my neck on the sides. So that answers why I have the pain there every single day of my life.
All of these things crushed me and took away a lot of my childhood and put me in a depression.
Over the years I've grown wiser and stronger.
But the worst part about my life now is that there is no easy fix for my conditions, doctors find it too difficult to do surgery and physical therapy is bs. I have to live with this literal thorn in my physical body. I am like the story! I am an artist and dancing brings me so much joy. But I no longer feel these things anymore. My joy is not in its same radiance doing these things like when I was a child.
I've been trying to change my story but roadblock after roadblock is leaving me tired. Mental physical emotional roadblocks. And I'm only 23.
I'm not speaking for anyone, but my personal opinion is that it's easy to talk about getting better and changing your life when you have the advantage to. For people that have been subject to neglect as children and what follows is physical deterioration. The answer isn't simple. As much as I want to feel better physically, all I can do is keep myself strong. But I have limitations, I'm not able to freely dance without causing more pain to myself. I didn't choose these things. This is what I was given. If anyone decides to give advice about how to help someone change without knowing all the aspects of what that means for them in totality, just be careful because it could make them feel worse about the things they can't do if they don't have the luxury of choice.
At times people who are healthy and don't have debilitating physical issues are privileged not in a proud way but in an ignorant way.
I feel conflicted. I want to be optimistic and believe everything is in my control and I can change it, but I also can relate to your story. When bad things constantly keeps happening to you it slowly burns out the oil until it's no more. What do you do then? I want to keep believing and try to get the light burning again until I take my last breath on this plain. I hope you will do the same. Let's beat the odds together. Stay strong and dance, even if it hurts.
Very valid point. 💜
@@powerpuffgirls9504 I appreciate your comment. :)
I will never give up. I still try to dance little bits, and I do believe life may work out for me one day and I'll get what I need physically by new tech or something. Until then, music, mental therapy and the kindness of people like you is what keeps me going. ❤
Btw I love your username!
@@boyera23 You're welcome. You're strong. I'm sure one day you will move mountains with your physical and mental strength. Stay strong and blessed. Sending you lots of healing and love!!!
Have you tried looking into the mental connection to physical pain? I'm not saying pain doesn't exist but maybe you can lessen some of it by getting rid of the pain caused by past traumas. I have lupus and miraculously survived being on a ventilator 10 days after a flare-up caused my organs to fail. Over the course of many months, the acute inflammation caused me to lose my ability to walk, talk, swallow, and see until I had a PRES seizure. I had fluid in my brain, heart, and lungs with pneumonia and was in septic shock. the doctors told my family to plan my funeral. When I woke up I was in so much pain and trapped in my body because I was paralyzed.
Getting off the ventilator was sooooo hard!!! I had to learn to do everything again. I was also going insane from 8 months of painsomnia. Many of the doctors and nurses told me the majority of people in my situation give up. I attribute my resilience to the self-help books and research I did on understanding pain science before all of this happened. Self-help taught me that being grateful can make any situation bearable (I used techniques like visualization, positive affirmations, closed my eyes and relived happy memories, promised my cat I'm coming home, etc) and pain science taught me that pain is something that can be treated to let you live.
After a year and a half, I can eat again and got my feeding tube removed this month (even though a doctor told me I would never be able to again) talk, breathe on my own, and do some self-grooming. My next goal is to be able to transfer to my wheelchair (I'm still bedridden) and maybe one day try and walk again. And in the meantime, it's so amazing to be alive!! I'm once more able to design the life I want and ready to take on what comes.
We are stronger than we think we just have to learn the how.
I watch self help videos and sometimes struggle to apply them or just push the advice to the back of my mind because they give you tips and examples and then you’re left to put the pieces together yourself. Your videos, on the other hand, are AMAZING! They’re so tangible and applicable. Never has a self help channel made me feel so seen. I can tell these videos are going to help me finally understand how to become the person I’ve always wanted to be (iA). Thanks Clark!
Not even done listening and you hit a really key point for me that's been stopping me from stepping up in my business. Someone told me at some point that people don't want to hire coaches who are heavy (body weight) and it's really been holding me back from offering what I'm great at for clients. You and I work in the same space (but with different intended audiences, I think) and I've really been holding back in the thought that nobody wants to take life advice from a fat woman.
But I know I have a lot to offer. It's time for me to stop holding myself back based on that story. Thanks Clark!
Thanks Clark I'm soo glad I recently discovered you..Luv your teachings have a gr8 day🤗
This is so true. Thank you so much.
The only proper way to eliminate bad habits is to replace them with good ones. Come on, start replacing buddies.
Break the past cycle. Every day is a new day! Be at your best.
Thanks Clark!
You inspire us!
*Keep it up Kegley!* 🏆
Hey! Very good and valued video. Thanks for sharing 👌
Thank You for this delightful message
I enjoyed this format. I liked the casual nature of it.
Okay this is a pretty cool concept on the stories we're telling ourselves (and about ourselves). An eye opener! Nice video, thanks Clark!
Great content. Thanks Clark! I’ve reflected on this often but I’ve added it to my journaling prompts list!
Love the video but would like it if the captions were an option through youtube. It's a little distracting.
Yes... same as it is for habits, or habits of the brain. Seems like all habits inhibits yourself from growing where it's needed. Avoidance, gym, denial, success, so many things can cover-up something that one's needs to focus one. Myself included.
GREAT video Clark. I’m going to have to watch it a couple times, take notes and figure this out.. thanks ☺️
Have you ever thought of laying animation over some of your videos? I could see that being really cool in contrast with your production setup. As always, fantastic videos!
Just come across your channel today, on my fifth video and feel I'm very similar to you but ten years earlier - dyslexia but still book reading and note taking, my quiet aspirations and my (hopefully) persistent development routine all point to this being a great channel for me. Keep it up, keep it (in every way) diverse! Cheers!
"I can't because...________." That's really something. Bravo!
See also: You look like you are in Ben Affleck and Ryan Reynolds' family of genetics. Way to use the chad-tier looks for good in the world. We need more like you.
Amazing starting point, thank you so much!
I definitely like this format and the homework/prompt. Would you say this goes into the Growth part of the journal? Thanks!
Love this info. Thanks for sharing it. 👍
Anybody got more examples on reframing?
Magnificent advice, Thank you so much.
Thanks for your videos they are always helpful
I been smoking weed everyday for 10 years. Justify it in all the ways you generally hear. I’m just now, as I been keeping up working out, and self improvement content consumption, am questioning if I been slowing myself down with this habit. I still don’t believe it’s addictive, but the habit itself is. It’s so easy to obtain for me, but wife has never liked the smell of it yet has put up with my habit. Am I considering stopping for my own best interest or for someone else’s? I’m in a struggle here questioning wether or not I need to stop
I would ask another question, how is it really benefitting you? What is it costing you? What if you went for 30 days without it? And if you think you can't go 30 days, then I think that's your answer.
i like the one on one convo seriously this helped me a lot thank you clark
Good word Brother!!!🎉👍🏾👊🏾
Yup I feel to old and inexperienced all though I been through a lot and I have stories to learn from
Favorite new channel. Keep up the great work man!
Thank u Clark I can’t tell u how much ur videos have helped me
Oh my gosh, I’ve had a thorn for years. I love this analogy!
“Habit” 😂😂 😅 … awesome 😉
possibly one of the scariest things to do is actively challenging our limiting beliefs. We are so much what we constantly say to ourselves we are that we fear change just as we fear death itself.
It's funny you just mentioned Untethered soul I was just reading a book that talks about this EXACT example. It's called "Personality Isn't Permanent" by Benjamin Hardy.... have you listened to it?? I'm almost done with it but yeah this is right up that alley.
I LOVE the age story example.... I was saying, "EXACTLY!" as you were talking about a 90 year old crushing a marathon. Yes!
Mozart was 3years old when he performed and composed for the piano!!!
Loving this video, 5 mins in.
The Power of Story - by Jim Loehr 🙏
The song that goes with this video is Self Sabotage by Maggie Lindemin
I am cured. Thank you Clark ❤
you have no idea how much ths video helped me out thank you
I only know this format of you and I think it’s fine. My first video of yours and in less than 30sec things have changed for me already. I also laughed and said oh yeah I could just do that instead🤣 Thank you and new subscriber!!
Thanks always ❤
Fantastic!!!!!!! Many Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just want to say I love you and thank you
This guys an absolute stud.
The thorn story was great.
Thankful for this video. The thorn in the arm analogy is same as the nail in the head video-- so funny 😅
Isn't it strange that people identity so strongly with a religion (I'm a Christian) or a political party (I'm a Republican) that they can't tolerate other perspectives & limit themselves from finding out who they are.
I like your videos. Yes as a rule of thumb there are lots of scenarios in life where the persons characteristics can effect the quality of the value the person is able to bring to the table on a given subject matter. But it’s just a rule of thumb. Like should someone whos never travelled give travel advice especially about a specific country they’ve never been to? They could but they’re honestly not suited for the role. Thats also why theres no 20 yr old generals in the army. Because in the end the gaping holes in there results will show up. Again its just a rule of thumb though and everyone can do whatever they want really.
3 questions to ask .
i can't because ..........
i always ...........
i am ............
Take a journal .
ans each question in 5-7 points each . and then identify root cause & change it.
I lift yall to the best of my ability!
Write down in a journal and fill out the blanks at least 10 points to find out which is your core story:
a) I can´t because I´m ___________
b) I always ___________
c) I am __________
Amazing content 👍
Could you please post a video of just your German shepherd? He/she is so GORGEOUS!!! he/she doesn't have to be doing anything special. Just sitting on the floor or walking across the room. Pleeeeeeeeeease
is their any sound problem in this video?
Thanks for great stuff
Heyy there’s a sound in the background in some frequency, are you hypnotizing us😂😂😂
Honestly.. you have some great content... But I just got out of the ICU and I can't keep up with the commercials...
Wow! That was amazing 👍 wonder why hasn't got 1M views! Anyway. I'm right on it ✊️
Yay stories!! I’m always asking my bf to tell me them now you can tell me 😂😂
Heyyyy❤ thanks for the good work
I have a problem with my neighbours...how can I change that?!
Anyone ever tell you Ben Affleck looks like you? I know it's off topic but it just struck me when I first opened the video. Great content!!
legendary video
Great video. What are your (or anyone else that’s reading) thoughts on digital journaling with an iPad and pencil? I’ve been journaling for a bit now and recently got put onto the idea of this. Its not the same as pen and paper but It’s still handwriting, I was curious what your thoughts were and if anyone has tried this method and that experience was like.
I think it’s personal preference. If you were typing I’d say that’s different but if you are still writing I don’t think it would make much of a difference. I haven’t journaled I’m just telling you my opinion & I’d prefer paper but I don’t see why it would be a big deal
You already know the answer. Whatever works for YOU is the answer you don't need other people to echo.
i cant because im too nice
i always people please
i am worried of what people think of me
감사합니다~~~
도움이 되었어요^^
Dope I’m starting my podcast soon definitely motivational
I like this style
Wow this is powerful
So true!
First! Like your videos, Clark
Am I the only one who's bothered by the false captions in the video?
I really love the content, but why embed captions in the video if they are wrong?
This guy should make a book
What if my stories about me are true?