One thing that I have experienced with toxic families growing up is that we need to look at the parents and siblings as humans first and family later , I was born in a family where my mother cried about money for 30+ years and my father kept on wasting it on realestate ponzis , my mother never told me that my father was a fat liar and a gambling addict. I witnessed that first hand when he borrowed alot of money from me and wasted it on real estate ponzies , later he said I lost everything and its normal because you are my son and he can do whatever he wants with my money, my mother even agreed. At that time, I saw them as who they were as humans. My brother left the family a decade ago ,but he never told me what he witnessed what my parents were. Later, I told him that you knew all this for so long and that you never told me. He said, "I wanted you to be their caretaker, so I fked you up, no regrets ." My father was a liar and my brother was shark, I shd have been a shark from the beginning that's why I always tell people " Think of yourself first , your family can take care of themselves "
I know you've heard this a thousand times but it's impressive how you manage to make these scenes feel so real, something a lot of people can't seem to do given the influence of over-acted media
I know man, this just shows how important writing is, utmost important. How its critical to have your characters act and talk in a realistic way, so you simply look beyond simple animations.
I think it's something to do with the AI voices. We all know it's not reaj so we don't put really discredit it for 'bad acting'. Together with good writing and the music to set the tone, it comes out really well
sadly there a lot of things that applies to in life, i dont know if its good or bad to have a scar to look at it, its a least a reminder that the person was as bad as you remember
the blacked out face and the glowing eyes, I don't know how you've done it but you've captured the pure essence of angry dad from the perspective of the son, I'm speaking from experience
Well, everyone has different perception, when i try to remember the times my mom or dad was angry, i can see their faces in very detailed manner, like you don't take notice of such small details most of the time.
I grew up living with a very abusive Father(also alcoholic) and in my opinion, it is better to not have a father than to have one who constantly puts you down, and never believes in you. In fact, my father reminded me how he hated me and that I destroyed his life. Growing up with that in my life was something no one should experience.
Dude, my father was not abusive, but was absent for my daily life. Also he always mocked me for being, calm and submisse, while he was this "fancy" and savage dude... He had beated me up when I got sexually abused by a classmate too. I got completely gloomy in my teenager years, but the light found me: Jesus Christ! I know you may passed lots of suffering man, but I just wanna say that The Father in heaven, loves you and suffered together with you! I just wish the best for you man! There's hope in the end of the tunnel! I'll be praying for you, feel the love of the Father as you read this! God bless, don't lose hope! ❤❤❤
@@montee3766 That's probably the stupidest shit I've read in a while. And I've read some stupid shit. Having an absent father doesn't make you overly emotional. What? Are you retarded or something? Did you grow up like a brain dead moronic fuck because you were too stupid to pick up a book. How about actually 'Googling' what the fuck you type instead of picking up bullshit you heard. Bet you've never fucking sourced a thing in your life either. Trade up bitch, maybe you'll trade up your life for a better one off steam huh lmao
Your father sounds pathetic. You didn't ruin his life. He ruined his own life. He knew the consequence of putting his pp into a p. Despite that if he was more of a man he could've still followed his dreams even with a kid.
i saw that too they were in restaurant right and she told him to leave because she was scared of him or maybe i saw a different one but maaan i cant image this with my parent @@cc.tomfoolery
@@relly793 I self-diagnosed myself. I have dementia, ADHD, autism, DID, Bipolar, and ASPD. (I didn't actually do that. But the protein doesn't do shit about your mentality. One single snack doesn't automatically give you a mental disorder. Go do your damn research first.)
I grew up without a mother. My dad was the greatest man to ever walk the earth. He treated me right and everyone with respect who deserved it. I loved my dad .
After my own father tore me down while I was down on my luck earlier this month, I realized he will probably never change. I learned to accept that he was always like this and I need to stop giving him the benefit of the doubt. Fathers are necessary to people’s lives but some of them are tyrants sadly enough.
My mother abused me growing up - left her and that side of the family at 20 after university. I'm 29 now and they still wont acknowledge what they put me through growing up - I've since blocked them and moved on as they kept trying to contact me against my wishes; always the same shaming tactics and guilt tripping, never taking any responsibility or asking the basic questions of why I left. Crazy people, they deserve each other. They don't have Alzheimer's btw - just a lack of accountability and boundaries.
Same with me man I cut my mother out of my life and she still stalked me for 15+ years now. The cycle goes from shaming to anger to apologizing to sweet talking. Just leave it on read. Don't block. Just ignore. Some people do not deserve to be forgiven.
Whatever may have happened to you, don't turn away from them by cutting the link completely because you will be the one who will lose in the end. They are still your parents, you owe them respect by this simple fact even if it requires strength, resistance and patience in the face of hardships. Even in the face of mockery and bad behaviour in general that you have to face, prioritizing dialogue and the search for mutual understanding is always the solution to promote. Parents remain human with their flaws, no matter how heavy they may be. But they love their children. Their behaviour may make you doubt this, but it is not a pure reflection of what is in their heart. Also, it is possible to act badly despite one's original intentions, sincerely pure
7:08 was the most relatable scene to me, well at least the reaction to the question trying to downplay the trauma to avoid confrontation because bad memory + no accountability will never mix well. a lot of older parents simply cannot comprehend how the way they treated their children growing up affected how they treat them today. it's like you're connected but disconnected at the same time.
I am amazed how exactly you depicted the whole thing. The "I would never hit without reason", "I love you son" and "if you got it once or twice...". This thing that they forget so easily stays with children forever. Yes he got his child in hispital, wow nice what an amazing dad. Oh he abused the child? Well but he drove him to the hospital so he is amazing dad - that's what you usually hear from such delusional people and it hurts.
Мой отец приезжал раз в месяц к нам домой, так ка занимался бизнесом, орал на мать, орал на нас, иногда бил и уезжал. Изменял и не скрывал это. И единственное чему он меня пытался учить в 7-8 лет это убивать животных.
@@herzogwolfmusic8098consider it like this. You have the choice of not having a sense of touch or feeling pain 24/7. Certainly both have their negatives, but I would wager most people would rather chose the former.
Same issue; however, it's related to my mom. She isn't this elderly or physical, but her speech was harsh. It breaks my heart to hear this from her. I was never a mean or bad son. She expects me to care for her when she gets old, but the more she hurts me, the less likely that will happen.
Nothing is more painful when the person who caused so much pain and trauma for you can instantly forget all the shitty things they did.. and at worse, you're forced to stay with them as if it's all fine and dandy.
My father was very similar. He rarely hit, but was extremely harsh with his words, if only because I didn't keep my arms on the table during the meal. He was toxic as fuck. It was enough that he was not far from me for me to be unable to laugh or be happy, he stressed me out so much. It was the same for my mother, an immigrant who he didn't want let her study or even take language classes so that she would remain dependent on him. Then he got cancer. For 3 years it was even more horrible, but he finally died at 50 when I was 14, and it was a real liberation for my family. (sorry if my english is bad, I'm not english)
It's honestly crazy how accurate he depicts an overly strict and abusive father in this. From experience the shadow figure is truly the best depiction of a father disciplining / abusing their kid with a belt or fists. I can hardly remember my own fathers face, but imagine seeing him in this depiction as a child scared and trapped with nowhere to do but to accept it. I imagine if this would be how my own relationship with my father would be like if he were still alive today. The most I can take from my experience with him, is how to properly raise and discipline a child, like my grandfather raised me.
people tend to criticize that i was too gentle with my son, but i also know what a certain kind of childhood is like, granted moot point now with the way modern society is, divorced, my son now lives with his grandparents, only way to protect him from his mother
Honestly it takes a lot of strength to still continues to be there for your father and showing the willingness to take care of him even though he’s not really deserving of it.🐱
that just proves you are the better person(even if it's for money or property),it would be easier to just send him to a retirement home and just wait,either way you are doing it because you want to move foward,interest or just for yourself
I also think that people misunderstand "forgiveness". You can forgive a bad father/mother, it doesn't mean he/she will be free of judgment, here in Earth or in the afterlife. The important thing is not to keep the resentment of what they did to you. Sometimes, it's better to forgive and never see again, than to keep the resentment and stay close. You are not obligated to aid someone who wronged you but you also must not keep the resentment.
I thought a bad father is someone who left their family and never asked them about their health, but indeed this is a really deep question. Would you remember all of the bad things your father has done to you and take revenge for it? Hitted you, shouted at you, shamed you in front of everyone.
You never forget those memories you just try not to remember them,it's hard even after a long time,the best thing you can do is to keep moving foward and just be the better person and forgive the other or forgive for your own good...
Revenge? If I had awful shit that I hated done to me, I have no idea why I would ever inflict that on another. I just don't want anything to do with him.
I forgot over time what he did, its like my brain forced the memories away. Every little interaction with him reminded me and caused me to spiral, but every time I still forgot so quickly. I don't know why I'm like this, but it provides some sort of dysfunctional comfort until I'm forced to acknowledge reality again
It's weird for me, never had mine and I'm fine with it. It would have taken too much space and I need independance in every way: I don't want to have an other male above me to give him title because he has given his sperm to produce the body I'm in. You're an adult and you still call him "dad", rather than using his name and adding that you sincerely love him. You understand my point ?
@@jeunesseeternelle9803 I get your point...from my view this man sacrificed to do 70 hr+ work weeks to keep me clothed,feed, sheltered. Made time to teach me knowledge about mechanics, farming,construction, and geopolitics. I think his greatest joy was to have a family so I always called him "dad" as a way to bring a smile to his face
@@jeunesseeternelle9803i feel the same way. im not close with my dad for personal reasons and calling another man dad just feels weird to me. at the same time hes there for me and i hope to be a better dad than him in the future
2 years ago i learned a good lesson. my father has allways been very grumpy with everyone, allways in a bad mood and half drunk. he was allways there but never to do something for us, my mother did everything. in 2021 he got covid and i had to go to help him to his house (lost contact 13 years before, after divorce), we (aunt and i) found him really bad. we took him to hospital and after 3 weeks, the first of january of 2022 he died. in those 3 weeks nobody went to visit him, and my brother and i were the only ones to visit him because we felt forced by our morals and values, not because we wanted. the lesson i learnt is that you must keep a good relationship with everyone, not just your family but friends too. its very sad to see that nobody wants to be with you knowing those are your last days. please, if you are a father or you want to be one, be good to your family and friends. love to be loved.
To love u must receive at least some love back. When u realize u're doing all the heavylifting by ursellf both in friendships and family, u scream a giant "fuck off" to everybody and isolate yourself
Well my father doesn't get drunk like I've never seen him drunk but damn is he grumpy sometimes a little bit too grumpy I think that one of the reasons I don't respect him as much as I respect my mom
A good and non-absent father is crucial 98% of the time in a young persons development. My ethnicity has a 70% fatherlessness rate and it causes massive instability. I had my dad growing up but I really miss him since he died on my 18th birthday. 😢
@@TurtleChad1 100% agree, our women never should have chosen the government, welfare and Planned Parenthood over their men. That’s how LBJ initiated this snowball effect.
I see everyone here is sharing personal stories so I want to share mine: I'm 21. I've never met my father until I messaged him on Facebook (before I completely deleted it) when I was 19. I thought that meeting him at his home, very far away from where I lived, could have changed my life to the better. I thought that by meeting him I've could find a good job and escape my actual reality and live alone on my own. Well, this didn't happen. I've been sleeping at his house for three weeks but that was hell. Eventually he and his wife kicked me out and I had to pay a ticket with the only money I had to get back home. I've never seen, neither exchanged messages with him since that summer. I don't miss him and I hope he doesn't miss me either. I'm glad my mama has always done what she could for me, and I hate the fact that I am not able to get her in a better life. Thanks, mother. For everything you do for me :)
The story of my father being treated by my grandfather... and now passing onto his sons and daughter. I think sometimes it's hardwired and we can't avoid to behave the same way they treated us, even though we promised to ourselves that we will not treat our kids the same way we was treated in the past.
Yeah but it's from a place of deep rooted fear and insecurity. You can tell he's struggling to get over the past and deeply impacted by the trauma and feels like he has no choice but to take care of him. Cause that's exactly what abuse in childhood stages does. It kills your ability to think/plan forwards cause you were always told by your abuser that your efforts were worthless which teaches the victim to just blindly compy out of fear and never attempt at anything yourself, cause what's the point?
I lost my dad during this New Years. Thankfully, while he had his flaws, he was a good man that loved and cared for his family first and foremost. I still remember how despite being sick and it being winter, the moment my bro's car battery died and he was stuck on the road between two cities in the middle of the night, my dad went to him and left no stone unturned to get my bro to safety and have his car towed. Another one was when he was checking on my sis and she complained to him how stressed she was and how she forgot to get some essentials for her house. That was all he needed to go to her place to brighten her night and get her son sweets.
Seeing stuff like this really makes me appreciate the family I have a lot more. The fact that some fathers actually act that way toward their sons is such an alien concept to me.
I was never really "hit" by my father, but constantly yelled at for mostly no reason, degraded my entire life. He never in 30 years said a kind word to me or told me he believed in me or that I have any talent at anything. I would fear every single evening when he would come home and start sh!t for no reason at all. All he cared for were his material possessions and his job/status. Left home after yet another stupid yelling at age 23. I thought me moving out would make him change, that he would gain some perspective, so when Covid hit I spent lockdown at his big house. How wrong was I. The same old screaming and toxicity was back. Was fired from my job and all he had for me were mean words about how incapable I am and how everything's my fault. My dad is responsible for 99% of my highly antisocial behavior, extreme self esteem and anxiety issues and my incapability of forming bonds with most people. He will never change so I can't forgive.
This hit home to me. My dad would often downplay, forget, ignore, or even take pride or joy in harming the people aroud him, whether it was screaming, scaring, intimidating, tearing down people with words, or physical beatings he either forgot, downplayed, or even bragged about it. And he would try to make me warship the ground beneath him. For a good amount of my life, it worked so i lived through hell for letting it work.
If you’re gonna take revenge for what your parents did to you - and you will, subconsciously - take it on your parents, not on your kids. Break the cycle.
@@TurinShroud Do you think that if you suffer repeated abuse, you shouldn't take revenge and just move on with your life? Fk that!! People need a little bit of their own medicine. Only... Not with innocent people.
It's hard to forget the pain and trauma caused by a father that just did it for no reason or out of anger. But it's really hard to stay mad forever at it because you're older and more independent and they're older and less independent.
Dads should always lead by example. Hurting your children in anyway only teaches them to hurt others if you don’t get your ways. Something I think parents have a hard time understanding is that they aren’t just their children but actual people. The same respect you think you deserve should also be given to children bc they are your responsibility to take care of.
Watching this one almost got me to tear up. If there wasn't too much animosity between you and your parents, look after them. If things were beyond repair then I can understand cutting them off.
those final words hit hard, that is something I've told myself ever since I dealt with my past experience with his anger and physical "punishment", but those words are true, never ever forget even if they do
My grandfather was a joke. A complete alcoholic and an abusive father/husband, who would constantly beat my grandma and my mother when they were younger. He died old with lung cancer from all of those cigarettes he used to smoke. When i went in his funeral, i said to my mother "good thing this asshole died." My mother told me to not feel like that, i asked how could she forgive such a person. She said: "Forgiving isn't the same as forgetting, it's understanding. I understand that he was also suffering his own way." That shit hit me pretty hard, and i hold no grudge against anyone anymore.
My grandmother was like that to my father and my aunt. My old man was one of the best people i've ever known. A bit savage with his humor and smoked weed a lot, but me and my brother had a great childhood with him and my mother. My grandma still lives. I buy her food weekly. She never recognized what she did to her own children and she never will.
@@qq84 there is something you must understand to get this. A family is a group of people who take care of each other, no matter how ungrateful some of their members might be. My grandmother is a sick and very fragile member of my family. Even If she did what she did, a good family must take care of her.
I would never care of such an abusive parent. My antosocial mother taking her life at her age of 54 during one of her depressive episodes was one of the best things happening to me. You don't owe such parents anything.
My father was emotionally abusive and neglectful when I was younger and would frequently forget my name due to his cerebral hemorage. He also had one hell of a temper. Hes now much older and he seems to have matured a great deal since then. Losing my half brother to heroin made him cherish the connections he still had and made him want to be a better father to me and his other son. Even though my brother never forgave him for being absent in his life, him and I have grown much closer over the years. Im really glad that I gave him a second chance and im really grateful that i managed to get the closure i needed.
My grandpa was like this towards my mom. Through her stories on him and how I witnessed him he seems just like this only in my time a bit less anger but more ego. The part that struck me the most was how much he downplayed everything. Thats a spitting attitude of my grandpa. Thankfully my dad was absolutely nothing like this and a wonderfully gentle man.
This is one of the most emotion-packed videos you've made. I suppose this is based on your own experiences, but many of us can also relate to it. Makes you think how you're parent yourself, when it comes time for that.
You are amazing storyteller. I feel like that’s probably one of the saddest stories you made yet. At the end I felt my heart drop a little. He doesn’t remember but he loves his son at that moment. And older son remembers some things of his trauma (the flashbacks, those scary moments with his father) yet he’s the one left helping his abusive in the past father. Maybe his father remembers something after all but something tells me it’s not only a story about abusive father with Alzheimer’s but also a story about forgiveness too. After all we are forget and forgetting is human. You feel sorry for both of them.
This came at a great time. I just lost my father January 7th to ALS. It was pretty sudden and , if he knew of it, he didn't tell any of us about it. I'm not writing this because he was a bad father at al, just very absent. My parents split when I was around 3. My dad would only come over on holidays and birthdays. He had no car and no license so it was always up to my grandmother to drive us or to pick him up. After my grandmother passed away in 2015 (the day after my birthday) it was at that moment that I started to slowly spend more time with my dad than I had before. I also was spending less time with my mom, due to her being in a nursing home for the rest of her life an hour and a half away from me. This was special even though I didn't spend a huge amount of time seeing my dad, but it was enough to hang out and let him see my son a lot growing up. It sucked because even though the ALS was destroying him, he still wanted to see my son up until the day he died. I just couldn't bring myself to bring my five year old into the ICU and see his grandfather hooked up to all kinds of shit. He did get to facetime with him once though... There was a time when my mother lost her dad while she was in prison. Before anyone was able to tell her about it, she had been outside (one hour a day at the prison) and happened to look up and saw a face in the clouds. It was that night when she found out about him passing. So from then on we all had agreed to, if possible, tell each other from the otherside. I had reminded my dad a day before he passed if he remembered my moms story, he shook his head no. I then asked him if he would do the same thing for me and he said yes. I happened to want to take a quick hour break to go home, shower, eat, and head back to the ICU to sit with my dad for the rest of the night. SO I got up, talked to my dad (who at this time had had the same blank/unresponsive stare at the wall for the last 16 hours) and told him what I was going to go do and that I'd be back. I got home and put my phone on the charger. Not even half an hour had gone by when my sister tried calling me. Meanwhile my wife was in our sons bedroom putting him to sleep. And at that moment she, my wife, said that our son had rolled over to face her and said "mom grandpas dead". But she just reminded him that he was very sick and that, yes, he will probably die soon. And not even a minute later my sister called her and she rushed out to hand the phone to me. And it's at that moment when she told me that the hospital had just called her to let her know that he passed. I think my dad got the message.
Back in childhood. My dad would always support me in different sports and school, especially in math. He would always ask math teacher to get 10 question problems and sit with me doing them. Playing Football, Hockey, take me to Martial Arts later to Karate and Skiing. He basically taught me a lot of stuff. And one time I remember when I was 8 or 9. After I past my Martial Arts test and got a Yellow-Green belt. He bought me a toy car. Now I'm 17. My dad still supports me in stuff.
Its kind of easy for parents like this to simply forget due to a medical condition. Wish it was as easy for the younger to do the same, or to simply move on. Shits hard man
From a reading some of the comments, it’s really heartbreaking what some of you went through. Some didn’t have their fathers while others did and it was either positive or negative experiences. A father is truly crucial in a child’s life and it’s sad knowing that some of you endured the opposite of their love.
The same situation happened to me. my father was a terrible dick all my life, but after a serious accident he wanted to start rebuilding relationships. I want to forgive him, I want to be a better son, a better person, but I can't, I just can't
It's his problem that you can't now. He made it this way so you now have issues trusting him. You have all the right to let it go and forget about him as much as it's possible imo
it's never easy but just think deeply if you will regret it or not,be the better person you needed before and not the opposite. and even if you can't forgive him try to do it not for him but for yourself man!
same... but when I go drinking with him, I just feel like we're the same. Maybe I'll be a terrible father too... But I promise I'll never have children in my life
"It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong." He has Alzheimer, whatever you do, you wouldn't compensate for the wrong he has done.
man, istg this video is like a guidance for me. having a hard time with my dad and i tought i would just let the time do its job and let him rot without his children, letting him wonder why but i have now realized that just because he's an a*hole doesn't mena i have to go down with him. Thanks, dude. You can't even imagine how much i appreciate your (or y'all) work
the fact that the father does not remember the mistakes done in the past while the oldest song tries to take care of himself this relation breaks everyone , the son will think later about the choices he did , magnificent job beloved creator , such a complex subject and very sad one
There aren't comic videos anymore for me. They hit like a truck, they make me remember things, horrible things from my past. This one is about a father, a bad father that I very well know. Thanks for your work
I was able to confront my father last year, he wasn't really a good dad either but I did let him know how much he hurt me and my sister growing up and seeing and hearing how hurt he was over the phone was the best satisfaction I ever got and I'm not even sorry for it.
such a moral dilemma for the son, and the people in real life in a similar situation. feeling obligated to care for your parent, even after all they’ve put you through. did i get it right?
I worked in a senior home for a while, but had to leave because of seeing empty husks like this. Its an incredibly depressing environment, especially in paliative care.
my dad whooped my ass growing up. we had good times together here and there but majority i just remember are the beatings. he died when i was 15 in 2016. i miss him but a part of me resents him for not being the father i needed.
I left my parents without notice not long after high school, and have barely spoken to them since. Seeing the shame it caused them in the eyes of others, that their son abandoned them was the best revenge possible.
Very painful video. I’ve let go of my anger towards my abusive father and now i feel apathy and a bit of pity towards him. The one thing I’ve learned from him - and what is illustrated in this video - is that your later life will be a result of the choices you made in the decades prior. My dad is a sad, lonely man with a decaying mind and body. He has no one who truly loves him, not even his own children. He only has his tv, gambling, and a wife that hates him. This is how his life will end.
Im on a really akward situation where my father its trying to get redemption telling me and treating me like i need to be treated 10 years ago, and every time he try to show love and approval for me, i just cant, i grew up on my own terms, i just cant be reciprocal to him, I feel i dont love him anymore.
Some people say "forgive and forget". Fuck that shit. Don't forget and don't forgive. If they did that shit to you knowingly, without being under the influence of anything, they don't deserve forgiveness, family or not.
I think you can forgive, as that lifts the emotional pressure from yourself, but never forget. They need to be made aware that they destroyed something and that it's irreparable but don't let them live rent free in your head. Either move on or keep them around but never give them your trust.
Nah man forgive it feels like so much weight and hate lifts off holding unto it is pointless . And as Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins we have to forgive others As the most high God forgives our 1000+ sins
May Allah grants hefty rewards to all the children that are still infinitely patience and caring like this, even when their bad parents grew dementia and older, Aamiin 🤲🏻
My abusive father actually helped me more than harmed me, I had severe ADHD, ODD, and anger issues. After he killed himself I verbally and physically abused my family members because none of them were strong enough to sternly punish me. Which ruined my relationship with my older and younger siblings. If I had that mentality broken by my father things would have been different
@@sirsusgamer lemme guess you got abused and couldn’t get over it like I did. I was born this way, he was abusive, and I definitely took the anger issues off from him but not from the start. I was born with severe ODD & severe ADHD and no impulse control. Having a child like that would make any father upset, I was purely physical and having a physical father even if it was overboard wouldn’t break me but most likely cause me to watch myself more carefully
Can you be mad at him after all this time?
idk
prolly not
Finally dude just cook a get real video
heavy af, as always. GL on heading to 1 mln broski
Can you makes video about child who had live with a toxic parent ?? Maybe in western is not big problem but in asian yeah is a big problem
When time lets you forgive, but you can't forget
It's not good to forget all things. It reminds us of what people are like.
Forgetting just becomes repressed memories. Forgiveness is the key
@@kaiser2141Yeah pussy losers like yourself
@@joebroart Yes, but forgiveness doesn't mean you still have to entertain that person and put up with their crap.
One thing that I have experienced with toxic families growing up is that we need to look at the parents and siblings as humans first and family later , I was born in a family where my mother cried about money for 30+ years and my father kept on wasting it on realestate ponzis , my mother never told me that my father was a fat liar and a gambling addict. I witnessed that first hand when he borrowed alot of money from me and wasted it on real estate ponzies , later he said I lost everything and its normal because you are my son and he can do whatever he wants with my money, my mother even agreed. At that time, I saw them as who they were as humans. My brother left the family a decade ago ,but he never told me what he witnessed what my parents were. Later, I told him that you knew all this for so long and that you never told me. He said, "I wanted you to be their caretaker, so I fked you up, no regrets ." My father was a liar and my brother was shark, I shd have been a shark from the beginning that's why I always tell people " Think of yourself first , your family can take care of themselves "
I know you've heard this a thousand times but it's impressive how you manage to make these scenes feel so real, something a lot of people can't seem to do given the influence of over-acted media
@@yoyojuana2054he gave a good analysis and complimented a video he enjoyed, you left an npc ass comment he ain't the bot here
@@yoyojuana2054the retard has spoken
I know man, this just shows how important writing is, utmost important. How its critical to have your characters act and talk in a realistic way, so you simply look beyond simple animations.
I think it's something to do with the AI voices. We all know it's not reaj so we don't put really discredit it for 'bad acting'. Together with good writing and the music to set the tone, it comes out really well
The background ambiance 'music' is really what did it for me. Its a underlining tension there.
That proverb "the axe forgets but the tree remembers"
sadly there a lot of things that applies to in life, i dont know if its good or bad to have a scar to look at it, its a least a reminder that the person was as bad as you remember
but these are inanimate so idk how they have memories
@@nehalarafa8260 there roots remeber
@@Manicthecreator ok my bad :(
The criminals also remember a lot of it, they cherish those memories.
the blacked out face and the glowing eyes, I don't know how you've done it but you've captured the pure essence of angry dad from the perspective of the son, I'm speaking from experience
Spot on
Nothing understands more than first hand experience.
Well, everyone has different perception, when i try to remember the times my mom or dad was angry, i can see their faces in very detailed manner, like you don't take notice of such small details most of the time.
Only thing missing was the forced labor and flying plates.
Very true. Man what an amazing and powerful video.
I grew up living with a very abusive Father(also alcoholic) and in my opinion, it is better to not have a father than to have one who constantly puts you down, and never believes in you. In fact, my father reminded me how he hated me and that I destroyed his life. Growing up with that in my life was something no one should experience.
I understand😞
Well the son in the video seems to be doing pretty good. Better than being overly emotional and all over the place because of an absent father.
Dude, my father was not abusive, but was absent for my daily life. Also he always mocked me for being, calm and submisse, while he was this "fancy" and savage dude... He had beated me up when I got sexually abused by a classmate too. I got completely gloomy in my teenager years, but the light found me: Jesus Christ! I know you may passed lots of suffering man, but I just wanna say that The Father in heaven, loves you and suffered together with you! I just wish the best for you man! There's hope in the end of the tunnel! I'll be praying for you, feel the love of the Father as you read this! God bless, don't lose hope! ❤❤❤
@@montee3766 That's probably the stupidest shit I've read in a while. And I've read some stupid shit.
Having an absent father doesn't make you overly emotional. What? Are you retarded or something? Did you grow up like a brain dead moronic fuck because you were too stupid to pick up a book. How about actually 'Googling' what the fuck you type instead of picking up bullshit you heard. Bet you've never fucking sourced a thing in your life either.
Trade up bitch, maybe you'll trade up your life for a better one off steam huh lmao
Your father sounds pathetic. You didn't ruin his life. He ruined his own life. He knew the consequence of putting his pp into a p.
Despite that if he was more of a man he could've still followed his dreams even with a kid.
Alzheimer's is a sad thing indeed
It sucks badly I remember this one video where a guys mom forgot who he was
i saw that too they were in restaurant right and she told him to leave because she was scared of him or maybe i saw a different one but maaan i cant image this with my parent @@cc.tomfoolery
@@relly793 Correct about the sugar. For protein just meat, greens don't do jack.
@@relly793 that's not it 😂 Alzheimers is linked to several things not just one thing
@@relly793
I self-diagnosed myself. I have dementia, ADHD, autism, DID, Bipolar, and ASPD.
(I didn't actually do that. But the protein doesn't do shit about your mentality. One single snack doesn't automatically give you a mental disorder. Go do your damn research first.)
God. This one hit me hard. Makes me want to be a better man.
bro got that 10 dolas but not even one apreciate
@@Tisgenerationisgoinnowher yeah
I appreciate your donation brother. this guy makes art and he deserves the money. I'm broker than a banker's worst nightmare otherwise I would also
trust, you will. break the cycle.
There is a big difference between forgiving and forgetting.
Or moving on to cut your losses.
It's also possible to not forgive but still be friends
I grew up without a mother.
My dad was the greatest man to ever walk the earth.
He treated me right and everyone with respect who deserved it.
I loved my dad .
Sorry about your loss. Your dad is getting that well deserved rest wherever he is now
@@pitnorman
Yep. All good. We all gotta go someday. Take care.
I fuking love my dad he helped me out a lot when I needed it. But at the same time I had to learn things the hard way
Same for me.
F
After my own father tore me down while I was down on my luck earlier this month, I realized he will probably never change. I learned to accept that he was always like this and I need to stop giving him the benefit of the doubt. Fathers are necessary to people’s lives but some of them are tyrants sadly enough.
@@RayyyRay The fuck is wrong with you
@@RayyyRaydidn’t know China was your daddy? Sliddin his gung zhao inside you 😂
@@RayyyRayMediocre trolling.
@@RayyyRayoh damn man you are so cool now that you said that lol
Go no contact as soon as you can.
My dad passed 4 months ago. He was a strong good man. I miss you Dad
Rest in piece to him. Stay strong bro he loves you.
Rest in peace to your dad. You will be a strong fine man, and your dad will be proud watching over you
mine passed almost 3 years ago i miss him too
and rest in peace for him bro
@@1mpulse182 Amen. I speak to him every day
My mother abused me growing up - left her and that side of the family at 20 after university. I'm 29 now and they still wont acknowledge what they put me through growing up - I've since blocked them and moved on as they kept trying to contact me against my wishes; always the same shaming tactics and guilt tripping, never taking any responsibility or asking the basic questions of why I left. Crazy people, they deserve each other. They don't have Alzheimer's btw - just a lack of accountability and boundaries.
This is bad as fuck, sorry man
Na man all you needed to do was throw a left hood and everything would’ve been fixed
Same with me man I cut my mother out of my life and she still stalked me for 15+ years now. The cycle goes from shaming to anger to apologizing to sweet talking. Just leave it on read. Don't block. Just ignore. Some people do not deserve to be forgiven.
Whatever may have happened to you, don't turn away from them by cutting the link completely because you will be the one who will lose in the end. They are still your parents, you owe them respect by this simple fact even if it requires strength, resistance and patience in the face of hardships.
Even in the face of mockery and bad behaviour in general that you have to face, prioritizing dialogue and the search for mutual understanding is always the solution to promote. Parents remain human with their flaws, no matter how heavy they may be. But they love their children. Their behaviour may make you doubt this, but it is not a pure reflection of what is in their heart. Also, it is possible to act badly despite one's original intentions, sincerely pure
same for me
7:08 was the most relatable scene to me, well at least the reaction to the question trying to downplay the trauma to avoid confrontation because bad memory + no accountability will never mix well. a lot of older parents simply cannot comprehend how the way they treated their children growing up affected how they treat them today. it's like you're connected but disconnected at the same time.
I am amazed how exactly you depicted the whole thing. The "I would never hit without reason", "I love you son" and "if you got it once or twice...". This thing that they forget so easily stays with children forever. Yes he got his child in hispital, wow nice what an amazing dad. Oh he abused the child? Well but he drove him to the hospital so he is amazing dad - that's what you usually hear from such delusional people and it hurts.
The "maybe once or twice" hurts more than never acknowledging it happened.
"But you're tough now because of it." Am I, though?
@@bradchambers5886maybe not physical but mental
@@fufuyaya990no, the mental trauma not make you stronger. Especially heavy
@@fufuyaya990 Trauma does not make you mentally stronger
@@dmela9156 well beating your own child it's not correct neither
Even if you have forgiven, your body doesn't forget.
I work in a retirement home and i wonder how many abusive parents Ive taken care of and laughed with without knowing how monsterous they truly are.
Don't feel bad for it. We must move on in life.
Good parents are not being sent to retiring home, mostly
Dang! That’s a powerful point.
It's the bad parents that get sent to awful nursing homes, the good parents get way better treatment.
Not just bad parents, who knows what else they did.
I grew up without a father but I think it's better than an abusive father🇫🇷
As someone who had an abusive father, you are 100% correct
Мой отец приезжал раз в месяц к нам домой, так ка занимался бизнесом, орал на мать, орал на нас, иногда бил и уезжал. Изменял и не скрывал это. И единственное чему он меня пытался учить в 7-8 лет это убивать животных.
@@Satsaru i'll second this too
But for us who dont have a father we dont even know what it feels like to have one@@Satsaru
@@herzogwolfmusic8098consider it like this. You have the choice of not having a sense of touch or feeling pain 24/7. Certainly both have their negatives, but I would wager most people would rather chose the former.
Same issue; however, it's related to my mom. She isn't this elderly or physical, but her speech was harsh. It breaks my heart to hear this from her. I was never a mean or bad son. She expects me to care for her when she gets old, but the more she hurts me, the less likely that will happen.
i hate when ppl try make u feel guilty for wanting to leave.
forgive her, and pray for her in the name of Jesus
Nothing is more painful when the person who caused so much pain and trauma for you can instantly forget all the shitty things they did.. and at worse, you're forced to stay with them as if it's all fine and dandy.
I think it's worse if they 'deny' 'deny' 'deny'
Then you have to learn to enforce boundaries, you'll need that later anyway.
yup
My father was very similar. He rarely hit, but was extremely harsh with his words, if only because I didn't keep my arms on the table during the meal. He was toxic as fuck. It was enough that he was not far from me for me to be unable to laugh or be happy, he stressed me out so much. It was the same for my mother, an immigrant who he didn't want let her study or even take language classes so that she would remain dependent on him.
Then he got cancer. For 3 years it was even more horrible, but he finally died at 50 when I was 14, and it was a real liberation for my family.
(sorry if my english is bad, I'm not english)
@@content_enjoyer4458 doesn't matter, still a bad father if he was harsh
terrible mindset hes definitely not lucky to have a bad parent when ppl have good ones @@content_enjoyer4458
My father is the same, toxic as fuck. He's got some anger management issues.
It's honestly crazy how accurate he depicts an overly strict and abusive father in this. From experience the shadow figure is truly the best depiction of a father disciplining / abusing their kid with a belt or fists. I can hardly remember my own fathers face, but imagine seeing him in this depiction as a child scared and trapped with nowhere to do but to accept it. I imagine if this would be how my own relationship with my father would be like if he were still alive today. The most I can take from my experience with him, is how to properly raise and discipline a child, like my grandfather raised me.
Last time I checked, discipline means to teach. What was displayed in the video was anything *BUT* that.
You should not discipline your child like this.
people tend to criticize that i was too gentle with my son, but i also know what a certain kind of childhood is like, granted moot point now with the way modern society is, divorced, my son now lives with his grandparents, only way to protect him from his mother
@@foodeater1236i'm sure they meant was "i know my father was bad therefore i know what i shouldn't do"
Honestly it takes a lot of strength to still continues to be there for your father and showing the willingness to take care of him even though he’s not really deserving of it.🐱
Or maybe making sure he doesn't disown you and you get a full flat. Dementia is a sign he will hit the bucket pretty soon anyway.
that just proves you are the better person(even if it's for money or property),it would be easier to just send him to a retirement home and just wait,either way you are doing it because you want to move foward,interest or just for yourself
@@psycho308th He might disown you out of spite for this move. Better not to risk it.
It's hard but the best way of healing from the trauma.
I also think that people misunderstand "forgiveness". You can forgive a bad father/mother, it doesn't mean he/she will be free of judgment, here in Earth or in the afterlife.
The important thing is not to keep the resentment of what they did to you. Sometimes, it's better to forgive and never see again, than to keep the resentment and stay close.
You are not obligated to aid someone who wronged you but you also must not keep the resentment.
I thought a bad father is someone who left their family and never asked them about their health, but indeed this is a really deep question. Would you remember all of the bad things your father has done to you and take revenge for it? Hitted you, shouted at you, shamed you in front of everyone.
You would remember, but taking revenge is a different story.
You never forget those memories you just try not to remember them,it's hard even after a long time,the best thing you can do is to keep moving foward and just be the better person and forgive the other or forgive for your own good...
@@smalltrashman4227 Yeah, gotta agree with that.
I think it'd be hard to see this old husk of a person as the same person who was so strong and frightening all those years ago.
Revenge? If I had awful shit that I hated done to me, I have no idea why I would ever inflict that on another. I just don't want anything to do with him.
ohmigod, this depiction of dealing with someone with dementia is so accurate.
I forgot over time what he did, its like my brain forced the memories away. Every little interaction with him reminded me and caused me to spiral, but every time I still forgot so quickly. I don't know why I'm like this, but it provides some sort of dysfunctional comfort until I'm forced to acknowledge reality again
Defensive mechanism of brain. It lets u avoid situations/memories to prevent pain experiencing
it happens with me also. such a weird mess.
It is a blessing to have a good father...love and miss you dad
It's weird for me, never had mine and I'm fine with it.
It would have taken too much space and I need independance in every way: I don't want to have an other male above me to give him title because he has given his sperm to produce the body I'm in.
You're an adult and you still call him "dad", rather than using his name and adding that you sincerely love him.
You understand my point ?
@@jeunesseeternelle9803 I get your point...from my view this man sacrificed to do 70 hr+ work weeks to keep me clothed,feed, sheltered. Made time to teach me knowledge about mechanics, farming,construction, and geopolitics. I think his greatest joy was to have a family so I always called him "dad" as a way to bring a smile to his face
@@jeunesseeternelle9803i feel the same way. im not close with my dad for personal reasons and calling another man dad just feels weird to me. at the same time hes there for me and i hope to be a better dad than him in the future
@@ayy17amn Be available and respect boundaries at the same time.
If you follow those two simple rules, you'll do better than most of actual fathers.
2 years ago i learned a good lesson. my father has allways been very grumpy with everyone, allways in a bad mood and half drunk. he was allways there but never to do something for us, my mother did everything.
in 2021 he got covid and i had to go to help him to his house (lost contact 13 years before, after divorce), we (aunt and i) found him really bad. we took him to hospital and after 3 weeks, the first of january of 2022 he died.
in those 3 weeks nobody went to visit him, and my brother and i were the only ones to visit him because we felt forced by our morals and values, not because we wanted.
the lesson i learnt is that you must keep a good relationship with everyone, not just your family but friends too. its very sad to see that nobody wants to be with you knowing those are your last days.
please, if you are a father or you want to be one, be good to your family and friends.
love to be loved.
To love u must receive at least some love back. When u realize u're doing all the heavylifting by ursellf both in friendships and family, u scream a giant "fuck off" to everybody and isolate yourself
Well my father doesn't get drunk like I've never seen him drunk but damn is he grumpy sometimes a little bit too grumpy I think that one of the reasons I don't respect him as much as I respect my mom
I’m so lucky to have a good father that loves me, but I feel really sorry for people who don’t
A good and non-absent father is crucial 98% of the time in a young persons development. My ethnicity has a 70% fatherlessness rate and it causes massive instability. I had my dad growing up but I really miss him since he died on my 18th birthday. 😢
Basketball Americans need to fix on their community
Having father past 18 is just a bonus, he did his job to raise you. Be glad you had him.
@@TurtleChad1 100% agree, our women never should have chosen the government, welfare and Planned Parenthood over their men. That’s how LBJ initiated this snowball effect.
Modern relationships in general 30-50 year olds got a high divorce rate for all people sadly
How'd he past if I can ask?
I see everyone here is sharing personal stories so I want to share mine:
I'm 21. I've never met my father until I messaged him on Facebook (before I completely deleted it) when I was 19.
I thought that meeting him at his home, very far away from where I lived, could have changed my life to the better. I thought that by meeting him I've could find a good job and escape my actual reality and live alone on my own. Well, this didn't happen. I've been sleeping at his house for three weeks but that was hell. Eventually he and his wife kicked me out and I had to pay a ticket with the only money I had to get back home.
I've never seen, neither exchanged messages with him since that summer. I don't miss him and I hope he doesn't miss me either.
I'm glad my mama has always done what she could for me, and I hate the fact that I am not able to get her in a better life.
Thanks, mother. For everything you do for me :)
This is one of the most reality-hitting short films I've ever seen. Keep it up, MilleniaThinker.
The story of my father being treated by my grandfather... and now passing onto his sons and daughter. I think sometimes it's hardwired and we can't avoid to behave the same way they treated us, even though we promised to ourselves that we will not treat our kids the same way we was treated in the past.
It's not hardwired, only animals have that. Everyone makes his own decisions.
@@qq84you’ve no idea what you’re talking about. It’s not as easy as that.
And he’s still there taking care of his father.
It's what a man does.
Yeah but it's from a place of deep rooted fear and insecurity. You can tell he's struggling to get over the past and deeply impacted by the trauma and feels like he has no choice but to take care of him. Cause that's exactly what abuse in childhood stages does. It kills your ability to think/plan forwards cause you were always told by your abuser that your efforts were worthless which teaches the victim to just blindly compy out of fear and never attempt at anything yourself, cause what's the point?
Yes, at least most people wake up and go nc.
My mom and dad did and still do mistakes in parenting, all my spite dissolves when i see people with abuse trauma
I lost my dad during this New Years.
Thankfully, while he had his flaws, he was a good man that loved and cared for his family first and foremost.
I still remember how despite being sick and it being winter, the moment my bro's car battery died and he was stuck on the road between two cities in the middle of the night, my dad went to him and left no stone unturned to get my bro to safety and have his car towed.
Another one was when he was checking on my sis and she complained to him how stressed she was and how she forgot to get some essentials for her house.
That was all he needed to go to her place to brighten her night and get her son sweets.
This one is too personal for me to make a joke. The roles and circumstances are different, but it's in the ballpark.
Same bro, same..... this one was a hard watch
It's like a cage with no right solution to escape
Seeing stuff like this really makes me appreciate the family I have a lot more. The fact that some fathers actually act that way toward their sons is such an alien concept to me.
I was never really "hit" by my father, but constantly yelled at for mostly no reason, degraded my entire life. He never in 30 years said a kind word to me or told me he believed in me or that I have any talent at anything. I would fear every single evening when he would come home and start sh!t for no reason at all. All he cared for were his material possessions and his job/status. Left home after yet another stupid yelling at age 23. I thought me moving out would make him change, that he would gain some perspective, so when Covid hit I spent lockdown at his big house.
How wrong was I. The same old screaming and toxicity was back. Was fired from my job and all he had for me were mean words about how incapable I am and how everything's my fault.
My dad is responsible for 99% of my highly antisocial behavior, extreme self esteem and anxiety issues and my incapability of forming bonds with most people. He will never change so I can't forgive.
Mine was exactly like in the video and almost killed my mother,i tought he would change,but he is the same. I cant forgive neither forget
I literally cried.
me too
Almost did as well
This hit home to me. My dad would often downplay, forget, ignore, or even take pride or joy in harming the people aroud him, whether it was screaming, scaring, intimidating, tearing down people with words, or physical beatings he either forgot, downplayed, or even bragged about it. And he would try to make me warship the ground beneath him. For a good amount of my life, it worked so i lived through hell for letting it work.
Yes, criminals often brag with their crimes.
@@qq84 its a shame.
I can say my father was one of the great ones
У меня нет отца, но я стремлюсь к тому, чтобы мои дети говорили про меня также.
@@kraxma6556 XDDDD
@@kraxma6556 Лучше иметь сильную генетику без отца, чем слабую с "отцом".
me too, I'm glad I don't have traumas from my childhood
Same
I know you’ve heard this a thousand times but it’s impressive how you manage to make these scenes feel so real
If you’re gonna take revenge for what your parents did to you - and you will, subconsciously - take it on your parents, not on your kids. Break the cycle.
Don't be vengeful period. Life is suffering. Don't add to it.
@@TurinShroud Do you think that if you suffer repeated abuse, you shouldn't take revenge and just move on with your life? Fk that!! People need a little bit of their own medicine. Only... Not with innocent people.
@@kaiser2141eye for an eye and the world goes blind.
@@kaiser2141You're just as weak as the abuser... Typical loser 😂😂😂
@@TurinShroudIndeed. Plenty of bitchy pussies linger around here sadly.
This is by far the best animation on this channel.
Congratulations for making me reflect
It's hard to forget the pain and trauma caused by a father that just did it for no reason or out of anger. But it's really hard to stay mad forever at it because you're older and more independent and they're older and less independent.
Dads should always lead by example. Hurting your children in anyway only teaches them to hurt others if you don’t get your ways. Something I think parents have a hard time understanding is that they aren’t just their children but actual people. The same respect you think you deserve should also be given to children bc they are your responsibility to take care of.
Watching this one almost got me to tear up.
If there wasn't too much animosity between you and your parents, look after them. If things were beyond repair then I can understand cutting them off.
those final words hit hard, that is something I've told myself ever since I dealt with my past experience with his anger and physical "punishment", but those words are true, never ever forget even if they do
Beyond painful. Can’t even watch this video. I am so sorry to anyone who has to experience a loved one with dementia.
My grandfather was a joke. A complete alcoholic and an abusive father/husband, who would constantly beat my grandma and my mother when they were younger. He died old with lung cancer from all of those cigarettes he used to smoke.
When i went in his funeral, i said to my mother "good thing this asshole died." My mother told me to not feel like that, i asked how could she forgive such a person.
She said: "Forgiving isn't the same as forgetting, it's understanding. I understand that he was also suffering his own way."
That shit hit me pretty hard, and i hold no grudge against anyone anymore.
Masculine.
As the son of an extremely abusive father… this hit me like a truck. Easily the video that have moved me the most from you.
My grandmother was like that to my father and my aunt. My old man was one of the best people i've ever known. A bit savage with his humor and smoked weed a lot, but me and my brother had a great childhood with him and my mother.
My grandma still lives. I buy her food weekly. She never recognized what she did to her own children and she never will.
Why do you help her? - If you want to help people in need, there are enough who deserve it more.
@@qq84 there is something you must understand to get this.
A family is a group of people who take care of each other, no matter how ungrateful some of their members might be.
My grandmother is a sick and very fragile member of my family. Even If she did what she did, a good family must take care of her.
@@lucaadrianmartinez9190 So victims who go nc are "ungrateful". "Ungrateful" for getting abused?
@@qq84 how old are you?
@@lucaadrianmartinez9190 I'm living away from my parents (nc), but they're still alive. Why is that important?
I would never care of such an abusive parent.
My antosocial mother taking her life at her age of 54 during one of her depressive episodes was one of the best things happening to me.
You don't owe such parents anything.
Bro
@@BEEETRUShe is happy because of his moms death
That is just stupid
My father was emotionally abusive and neglectful when I was younger and would frequently forget my name due to his cerebral hemorage. He also had one hell of a temper. Hes now much older and he seems to have matured a great deal since then. Losing my half brother to heroin made him cherish the connections he still had and made him want to be a better father to me and his other son. Even though my brother never forgave him for being absent in his life, him and I have grown much closer over the years. Im really glad that I gave him a second chance and im really grateful that i managed to get the closure i needed.
My grandpa was like this towards my mom. Through her stories on him and how I witnessed him he seems just like this only in my time a bit less anger but more ego. The part that struck me the most was how much he downplayed everything. Thats a spitting attitude of my grandpa. Thankfully my dad was absolutely nothing like this and a wonderfully gentle man.
You are my inspiration bro. You are a true storyteller. I grew up with an abusive father & I wish I had grown up without one.
This is one of the most emotion-packed videos you've made. I suppose this is based on your own experiences, but many of us can also relate to it. Makes you think how you're parent yourself, when it comes time for that.
You are amazing storyteller. I feel like that’s probably one of the saddest stories you made yet. At the end I felt my heart drop a little. He doesn’t remember but he loves his son at that moment. And older son remembers some things of his trauma (the flashbacks, those scary moments with his father) yet he’s the one left helping his abusive in the past father. Maybe his father remembers something after all but something tells me it’s not only a story about abusive father with Alzheimer’s but also a story about forgiveness too. After all we are forget and forgetting is human. You feel sorry for both of them.
I'm very grateful to have a good and present father. I'm now a good a present father.
This came at a great time. I just lost my father January 7th to ALS. It was pretty sudden and , if he knew of it, he didn't tell any of us about it. I'm not writing this because he was a bad father at al, just very absent. My parents split when I was around 3. My dad would only come over on holidays and birthdays. He had no car and no license so it was always up to my grandmother to drive us or to pick him up.
After my grandmother passed away in 2015 (the day after my birthday) it was at that moment that I started to slowly spend more time with my dad than I had before. I also was spending less time with my mom, due to her being in a nursing home for the rest of her life an hour and a half away from me. This was special even though I didn't spend a huge amount of time seeing my dad, but it was enough to hang out and let him see my son a lot growing up.
It sucked because even though the ALS was destroying him, he still wanted to see my son up until the day he died. I just couldn't bring myself to bring my five year old into the ICU and see his grandfather hooked up to all kinds of shit. He did get to facetime with him once though...
There was a time when my mother lost her dad while she was in prison. Before anyone was able to tell her about it, she had been outside (one hour a day at the prison) and happened to look up and saw a face in the clouds. It was that night when she found out about him passing. So from then on we all had agreed to, if possible, tell each other from the otherside. I had reminded my dad a day before he passed if he remembered my moms story, he shook his head no. I then asked him if he would do the same thing for me and he said yes.
I happened to want to take a quick hour break to go home, shower, eat, and head back to the ICU to sit with my dad for the rest of the night. SO I got up, talked to my dad (who at this time had had the same blank/unresponsive stare at the wall for the last 16 hours) and told him what I was going to go do and that I'd be back. I got home and put my phone on the charger. Not even half an hour had gone by when my sister tried calling me.
Meanwhile my wife was in our sons bedroom putting him to sleep. And at that moment she, my wife, said that our son had rolled over to face her and said "mom grandpas dead". But she just reminded him that he was very sick and that, yes, he will probably die soon. And not even a minute later my sister called her and she rushed out to hand the phone to me. And it's at that moment when she told me that the hospital had just called her to let her know that he passed.
I think my dad got the message.
You've been very strong. It sounds like you are doing a great job for your son.
The end actually hit harder then my dad.
Like actually gave me chills
Back in childhood. My dad would always support me in different sports and school, especially in math. He would always ask math teacher to get 10 question problems and sit with me doing them. Playing Football, Hockey, take me to Martial Arts later to Karate and Skiing. He basically taught me a lot of stuff.
And one time I remember when I was 8 or 9. After I past my Martial Arts test and got a Yellow-Green belt. He bought me a toy car.
Now I'm 17. My dad still supports me in stuff.
The fact you make the stories so like... full of life? Lol i dont know how to describe it but your videos are just really something else
This is so heartbreaking, a tough watch but very powerful 💔😢
I would like to see you do this but with highschool trauma and how it affects the long run. You'll for sure captivate the essence of it
Its kind of easy for parents like this to simply forget due to a medical condition. Wish it was as easy for the younger to do the same, or to simply move on. Shits hard man
This already felt sad and relatable but then the son had my name.
This video was heartbreaking. You won't forget, but you can forgive.
From a reading some of the comments, it’s really heartbreaking what some of you went through. Some didn’t have their fathers while others did and it was either positive or negative experiences. A father is truly crucial in a child’s life and it’s sad knowing that some of you endured the opposite of their love.
The same situation happened to me. my father was a terrible dick all my life, but after a serious accident he wanted to start rebuilding relationships. I want to forgive him, I want to be a better son, a better person, but I can't, I just can't
It's his problem that you can't now. He made it this way so you now have issues trusting him. You have all the right to let it go and forget about him as much as it's possible imo
You can men... you can.
My man, this doesn't constitute you as a person. Forgive him for yourself, don't rebuild anything if you don't want to.
it's never easy but just think deeply if you will regret it or not,be the better person you needed before and not the opposite. and even if you can't forgive him try to do it not for him but for yourself man!
same... but when I go drinking with him, I just feel like we're the same. Maybe I'll be a terrible father too... But I promise I'll never have children in my life
"It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong." He has Alzheimer, whatever you do, you wouldn't compensate for the wrong he has done.
man, istg this video is like a guidance for me. having a hard time with my dad and i tought i would just let the time do its job and let him rot without his children, letting him wonder why but i have now realized that just because he's an a*hole doesn't mena i have to go down with him. Thanks, dude. You can't even imagine how much i appreciate your (or y'all) work
the fact that the father does not remember the mistakes done in the past while the oldest song tries to take care of himself this relation breaks everyone , the son will think later about the choices he did , magnificent job beloved creator , such a complex subject and very sad one
This makes me just appreciate my dad more. He was the best. Sadly he did not have the strength to live on. I miss him so much.
There aren't comic videos anymore for me.
They hit like a truck, they make me remember things, horrible things from my past.
This one is about a father, a bad father that I very well know.
Thanks for your work
The feels are strong with this one.
thats crazy, very well written. The dementia and the trauma of the past and how it has changed with the times was very well reflected.
This hit home. I was my dad's only child, and he was always angry that I wasn't a boy.
I find real beauty in this video. Much pain, much effort, much undeserved empathy from the son towards what remains of the father. A work of art.
I'm glad my dad was a reasonable nice guy
I was able to confront my father last year, he wasn't really a good dad either but I did let him know how much he hurt me and my sister growing up and seeing and hearing how hurt he was over the phone was the best satisfaction I ever got and I'm not even sorry for it.
Was waiting for this.
such a moral dilemma for the son, and the people in real life in a similar situation. feeling obligated to care for your parent, even after all they’ve put you through. did i get it right?
Sometimes they "forget" even if they actually remember.
I love the maturity of the son, learning to forgive and then take care of his father in old age.
Oh he ain't forgive him. He just obligated to be there because who else is?
*Some unhinged post I saw* : What do you mean you have Daddy Issues? Just traumatize your father back!
I worked in a senior home for a while, but had to leave because of seeing empty husks like this.
Its an incredibly depressing environment, especially in paliative care.
my dad whooped my ass growing up. we had good times together here and there but majority i just remember are the beatings. he died when i was 15 in 2016. i miss him but a part of me resents him for not being the father i needed.
I left my parents without notice not long after high school, and have barely spoken to them since. Seeing the shame it caused them in the eyes of others, that their son abandoned them was the best revenge possible.
Very painful video. I’ve let go of my anger towards my abusive father and now i feel apathy and a bit of pity towards him. The one thing I’ve learned from him - and what is illustrated in this video - is that your later life will be a result of the choices you made in the decades prior. My dad is a sad, lonely man with a decaying mind and body. He has no one who truly loves him, not even his own children. He only has his tv, gambling, and a wife that hates him. This is how his life will end.
Do you still speak with him?
@@IDK-oj8uo i see him every 2-3 weeks. We just say hi, nothing else.
Im on a really akward situation where my father its trying to get redemption telling me and treating me like i need to be treated 10 years ago, and every time he try to show love and approval for me, i just cant, i grew up on my own terms, i just cant be reciprocal to him, I feel i dont love him anymore.
Some people say "forgive and forget". Fuck that shit. Don't forget and don't forgive. If they did that shit to you knowingly, without being under the influence of anything, they don't deserve forgiveness, family or not.
I think you can forgive, as that lifts the emotional pressure from yourself, but never forget. They need to be made aware that they destroyed something and that it's irreparable but don't let them live rent free in your head. Either move on or keep them around but never give them your trust.
Nah man forgive it feels like so much weight and hate lifts off holding unto it is pointless . And as Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins we have to forgive others As the most high God forgives our 1000+ sins
@@DeliLiftsX jesus has nothing to do with it, just cause he would forgive anyone doesn't mean we have to
Forgive, don't forget. You forgive for your own sake, not for theirs.
Jesús wants you to forgive
And to think that this video was uploaded just a couple of weeks after my father passed away. Hits you.
"i can forgive but i will never forget"
Seeing this made me even more thankful that my dad died young
This is so relatable.
I forgave him, but he was never part of my life again once I left home and now he will have to live the rest of his days with it and maybe me too.
May Allah grants hefty rewards to all the children that are still infinitely patience and caring like this, even when their bad parents grew dementia and older, Aamiin 🤲🏻
Yep. Parents screamed at me, belittled me constantly. Now I’m 25 and they’re all surprised that I’m moved out and disconnected. Crazy.
My abusive father actually helped me more than harmed me, I had severe ADHD, ODD, and anger issues. After he killed himself I verbally and physically abused my family members because none of them were strong enough to sternly punish me. Which ruined my relationship with my older and younger siblings. If I had that mentality broken by my father things would have been different
your father probably gave that to you. enough excuses and blaming, be better. you are alive
@@sirsusgamer lemme guess you got abused and couldn’t get over it like I did. I was born this way, he was abusive, and I definitely took the anger issues off from him but not from the start. I was born with severe ODD & severe ADHD and no impulse control. Having a child like that would make any father upset, I was purely physical and having a physical father even if it was overboard wouldn’t break me but most likely cause me to watch myself more carefully
You are deeply delusional and I hope you realize it and change @@DeathlyTombstone
@@DeathlyTombstone you are the peak depiction of someone inheriting abuse along with ignorance.