Sure but if you recognize they’re attractive doesn’t that mean they’re attractive to you? Edit: for the sex your attracted to. Some people didn’t watch the video and keep telling me. “Well I’m a straight man and I can recognize my male friends are hot”. That’s great but your wife isn’t worried about you hanging out with your hot guy friends cuz you WOULDNT FUCK THEM. She’d be more concerned if you insist on hanging out with hot women. God you people are dense. Stop replying to me
@@LittleLulubee no but if a man thinks a woman is attractive that cave dna wants to impregnate that woman, basically a man wants to have sex with a woman he thinks is attractive
I think there is a difference between being friends with someone who is objectively attractive (as is beautiful/handsome) based on societies norms, and being friends with someone you are attracted to. Yes, the 2 areas overlap, but you can think of someone as attractive while not personally being attracted to them and vice versa.
Those who are beautiful to some are plain to others, and vice versa. I suppose being found attractive by the majority would earn you "attractive" status, but no one is attractive to everyone.
There are different levels of “want”. Reasonable people can want to be in a relationship with an attractive friend, but know it’s not possible (either because of circumstances like other relationships, or just personal preference) and maintain a healthy friendship instead.
@@BuddaDawgDawgWitDaBudda yep, humans constantly want things we can’t have/know we should not have (that’s kind of part of human nature). Self-control and reasonableness are accepting that you should not have everything you want.
Yeah. I'm still friends with this woman I was in love with. She's gotten married to someone else and lives a happy life, and I'm about to get married to someone, and I'm happy for myself and for her. We still talk and joke around, but I don't hold the feelings for her that I used to because it would be awkward and may ruin our friendship
I met the most beautiful woman. She is so far out of my league, it is unbelievable. We became friends. 15 years later, she is the most wonderful and loyal friend in my life. She finds more time for me, even after having her first daughter and siblings the year after that. When she has a little bit of time to spare she always makes sure to catch up on their friends. If you find a good woman, this is a fkn good woman, fucking or not. You need to surround yourselves with good friends.
My husband has a huge group of friends from highschool, guys and girls. I have NEVER felt threatened by any of his girl friends, infact I'm so lucky because they're my closest friends now. Everyone's gotten married and we're all having kids. It's awesome, we have the biggest group of awesome people and all of our kids call everyone aunt and uncle. It's probably a rare situation but my husband is the nicest guy and best friend anyone could ask for so he attracted similar people into his life. None of his friends dated within their group, there was never any drama. Pure friendship.
Because the girls of the group didn't wanna date them. If they gave the guys an opportunity they would grab it. Just because nothing romantic or sexual happened that doesn't mena that no party didn't want it to happen.
We have male and female friends in group settings. That's different than reaching out and hanging out by yourself without your partner. When I'm with his guy friends, he's there with me and vice versa.
It's how I see it too personally. I have female friends but I'm never gonna stay up at night to text them or get too comfortable with them in private chats. Mixed group situations among my male and female friends are perfectly fine though. Physical and online. I keep my female friends at the same distance I would like my own partner to keep her male friends at.
So sad. My best friend is a man I briefly dated. We recognise each other’s attractiveness and we are platonic. He has got me through my lowest points. He is my family. The right one for me will embrace those who are important to me. And I can be counted upon to only behave in a way that appropriately respects my partner with regards to other men and in all areas of my life, just as I’d expect back.
its no longer a platonic "friendship" after that once youve crossed that line i mean you can still be friends but you aren't the ideal friends because of the past. i mean if i was the man and heard you hooked up with ur "friend" relationship over immediately lol just be with that guy
If they've TRIED a relationship or revealed feelings with no luck (and they don't hate one another), it is possible. It's happened to me many times. Most of my female friends are ones I was once interested in. But not if it's never been brought to a head.
But how would you feel if your wife has friends with a guy who said he had feelings for her. You wouldn’t be worried he may talk badly about you, create doubt and look for an opening
@@Catherine.Dorian. If she was already my wife, I wouldn't worry. So long as he knows, that's good enough. I'm the kind of guy that I'd try to be his friend too, with her.
@@Burns_RED I don’t think you quite understand women enough… if a woman has a friend who was divorced and cheated on, she often will begin to convince her friend, say your wife, that you’re cheating and to divorce and get everything she can. My dads friend even experienced this. Reddit is full of stories with women basically sabotaging their friends relationships out of jealousy. Convincing him his wife cheated all cause she was jealous of their marriage. And guys will do this too, they’ll shit talk you and if there’s a tiny crack… the only way it really can work is if one (be the man or woman) isn’t at all attracted to the other. But women are very easy to manipulate this way, we want to be accepted by the group to the point we sacrifice our own self interests. It’s also why most of the woke movement is made up of women despite its removing a lot of their rights
I was friends with a girl I was extremely attracted to, and I never did anything towards her because she was already with another guy (long relationship, when we met we were 19 and they had been in a relationship for 7 years, ever since they were in middle school). You can absolutely still be friends with someone you find attractive if you have respect for them and yourself. I ended up finding other girls, and 5 years later, she's still with the same guy, and we're still friends.
Lucky me being average my whole life; I got to be friends with both men and women. People these days do know there are other things in this world besides sex, right?
Especially other sexualities. Like what do straight people expect bisexuals to do? If a bisexual girl has a boyfriend and the girl has a group of female friends, is she not allowed to hang out with them anymore?
@Gothica that's what I think girl. I mean what happens with bisexuality? They don't have friends anymore? Do they trust their girl to be friends with other girls? Do they know the type of stuff that can happen on sleepovers? 😂😂😂😂
This is really down to personal preferences and boundaries. Personally, I don't like my man being close friends with another woman. And I'm not close friends with another man. Sure, hang out as a group, but one on one time just doesn't sit right with me PERSONALLY. When I first started dating my now husband, I couldn't help but feel jealous of some of his girl mates. Especially as a couple were purposely causing problems. On top of that, my male friends kept over stepping their mark and making moves on me. We decided that it wasn't worth making each other worry, decided that our friends were causing some problems, and got rid of them. Sure, you could say that was extreme, but we have been together for 10 years now, with a family. We still have friends, but we just hand out as a group when the opposite sex is involved. It's each to their own.
That’s a perfectly reasonable point of view and the right decision if you value your partner; not like you need validation from a stranger or anything but most ppl I’ve seen w/ problem free marriages make a similar move.
I love how you said *personally*, it shows how you understand that your life choices won’t work with everyone! Also, it’s a great thing that you communicated with your partner, because nothing really is extreme after that regarding your relationships.
Do you have advice on how to get rid of those existing friends? I'm a people pleaser and have an incredibly hard time doing anything that may cause discomfort to others, I don't know how to approach it without sounding overly rude. I don't like dancing around things and I've been told I'm too blunt, sometimes hurtful unintentionally. Do you have advice on what to say to get these people out of your life?
@@narfinarf5920 Be firm, set boundaries for yourself and don’t give in. If you feel uncomfortable or uneasy, remember that your comfortability comes first rather then “making your friends happy all the time”. It’s very difficult for a people pleaser, I was one myself. But you have to understand that your a person to and you need to.. in a way.. “please yourself”… If your friends are awful, you can try some things I did. I had terrible friends who would quite literally try to “kick my bucket”, so I told some of them “hey, I don’t want to be your friend. I gave you enough chances, I’m done and I’m not sorry. Use this to better yourself and help others.” And for others, I just ghosted them. I didn’t talk to them and I cut communication. I did tell them what they did that made me uncomfortable first of course, and I gave them a couple (like two) chances to regain trust. They blew it so I left. You are important as well, if communication isn’t working between your relationships it’s always bound to fail. If they can’t respect boundaries, even small ones, they aren’t worth it. Try to think of it as “do I want to eat more candy and possibly get extremely unhealthy, or should I switch up my diet and take care of myself”. Candy is delicious, and it should be something to enjoy once in a while.. but not all the time. That candy will make you upset and you will no longer be happy/healthy. So if needed, switch up your “diet”. Aka, switch up your friends.
"Attractive" can be relative too; there is a woman I once found very attractive, but as I was not available as far as a relationship is concerned, I got to consider her a good friend. Over time I came to see her as just that and though I can still recognise that she is objectively attractive, she has become more like a sister to me. So I guess my answer would be no, I could not fathom maintaining a friendship with her while continuing to be attracted to her.
It is possible. One of my closest friends is a woman whom a lot of guys find attractive except me. I don't know why but since we became friends, I've always saw her as a sister. What's sad is some of my exes got all insecure around her 😅 Yep it's possible but very very unlikely for most people.
@@schy9614 it’s their problem if they are so insecure. She’s just acting like a red-flag detector at this point, he should keep being her friend. Also friendship>> romantic relationship
@@JingYuans_sparrow the point is, situations like that are so improbable that SOs having suspicions isn’t far fetched, especially when the friend is introduced after they got together. And nobody preserves their relationships saying insecurities are a “you” problem 😂 please grow up
@@jomana1109 Genuinely curious whose problem you think it is. Do you think it’s the bf’s problem and that he is the one that needs to solve these insecurities despite the fact that it is the gf who has the insecurity problem?
@@jomana1109 that is a “you” problem. We can come to a compromise and have a talk about my relationships with my friends which are literally just friends, as a gay man I have no sexual interest in any of my guy friends, which some are objectively handsome but I wouldn’t jump into bed with them, even though I love them to death as a friend/family. But if a my boyfriend is being jealous and wants me to separate myself from my platonic guy friend(s), that is more of a him issue… it would be the same if he had objectively handsome friends and he was just friends with them, I’m not insecure with myself to be thinking that he’s cheating with any of his male friends. That’s a mature way of thinking. if I was being super flirty with my friends then that is different, but exceptions don’t make the rule
I'm a heterosexual male, quite masculine, but have a lot of platonic female friendships. I've probably friend zoned more girls than the other way around. I'm probably an outlier, but yeah, it's possible. I just like the company of women.
My spouse is the same. If you know what you're looking for in a partner and willing to be friends with others, there's no reason why a man can't be "just friends" with a woman. The trouble is that too many men don;t understand what it takes to have a solid, long-term, relationship and too many women sell themselves short for a hint of something semi-stable. We've been together 30+ years. There have been no problems. We are both people who know what we want in relationships and aren't willing to settle for something weird.
@@goldengryphon it actually served as a good litmus test for female partners because those that had an ongoing problem with it almost always turned out to be assholes. I totally understand women being concerned or nervous about it because it's not common and aeems like it could be something else, but longterm, all my healthy partners came to realize I wasnt misrepresenting that these friendships were simply just friendships. A lot of the time, my girlfriends became as good of friends with my female friends as I was, and we all got along. My girlfriend now certainly understands, though she does probably get a little nervous here and there... we talk about it though and always sort it out. Communication is everything!
None of my adult family members have friends of the opposite sex (minus my aunts gay friend). My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, none of them. Guess what they all have in common… happy long lasting marriages!
@Mewmew Hardly. No one has been banned from having friendships with the opposite sex, they have just naturally distanced themselves over time. They still have acquaintances of the opposite sex. My grandparents have been happily married for 60 years and neither have ever told the other what to do.
i'm friends with my ex and we both are in separate relationships but we ended on good terms, it just depends on the people, its not hard to cheat. you just need self control
Same. We knew we weren't going to wind up married, so we rigged our dating relationship so we could date and learn and still be friends afterwards. We're not wonderfully close anymore, but we still all hang out and play boardgames etc when we're all in the same town, he and his wife (also a good friend) and me and my husband. It's lots of fun.
You wrote, "It's not hard to cheat." I respectfully disagree. I've never been on a romantic relationship before. But when I was in 10th grade giving my board exams, it was very hard to cheat! Other people always managed to cheat of off me but I could never never cheat of off their answer sheet 🥲.
@@thecamillarose9806 no, we met on a dating app and started dating a week in, lasted 2 years, became friends during the relationship, it didn't work out and remained friends to this day.
I believe it is possible. If we just assume that every guy will want a romantic relationship with every attractive woman and every other woman is jealous of the same exact individual.. the concept of pure and true friendship would just vanish. Most of us admit that Amala is an extremely attractive and beautiful woman, but that doesn't mean that every man around her must want to gain something romantic-related from her:) By assuming that they do, we're basically calling every man around her an uneducated pig, whose only goal is to win her heart because of her looks. So yeah, I do believe that handsome men and astounding women can, in fact, remain friends:)
The people who disagree that a man and a woman can be friends, are usually people with trust issues and insecurities. The minority are the loudest which is why we always hear about this topic. I know there are a few bad apples in a bunch that cheat on their partner with their BFF. However, but to claim that eventually EVERYONE will do the same if they're friends with the opposite sex is ridiculous and, asinine. I'm asexual and aren't attracted to anyone. But sure enough, some insecure woman with trust issues wouldn't want me to befriend her man, just because she thinks her spouse will cheat on her with me. The whole concept is crazy once you try to take a closer look.
I’ve had multiple attractive friends who have been women. I have also dated attractive women. For me it’s about expectations, as a guy if you go into it wanting to laugh and enjoy pure aspects of friendship…. It’s easy especially if they have a boyfriend😂
i had two gay guy friends because everyone straight would hit on me despite me being in a relationship and thats not ok. well they both found out they were bisexual because of me so uh i gave up
I have lots of strictly platonic friendships with guys. The "trick" is to be in a serious relationship with someone they like/respect. I love having guy friends, but unless they see you as untouchable it can get difficult
I’m a guy and have more female friends than male friends. Some of my female friends are in relationships, some are single, some are gay. I don’t want a relationship with any of them any more than they want a relationship with me. It’s weird to me that people think that’s weird.
I’ve had many male friends in my life who are good looking but I wasn’t rlly ever attracted to them I have been interested in some of them when I first meet them but then realized that I wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship with them I saw someone say that recognizing someone is attractive is not the same as being attracted to them and I will always stand by that
Yeah,if i like her as a friend i do like her as more then a friend 1 thing i dont understand its many people are in relationships with partners they are not friends,they just fuck and live together but do nothing else like friends do,its so strange to me
If a woman and I have a chemistry which allows there to be a friendship, I have to engage in interest inorder for my feelings about her to evolve. I am already committed, and I have been on a journey with this person for a while, so I know what it takes. I was raised around women mostly and I tend to get along with girls better. So for me I don't have any issue being able to love as a friend for a friend, and to love my partner as both a dear friend and lover. They don't cross, physical attractiveness is a nice lure, but I know what comes should you pull on it. It's nothing to trifle with.
The fact this is a question to the point where it's really this much of an issue, and most people say "no" to this question, and so many people have discussed this question, and every time it's the same answer ("no"), that shows where the minds of humans are. If people can't just be friends, period, that's it, okay, next on the agenda, and that's that, we as a species need to ask ourselves some serious questions about ourselves as a species. EVERYTHING is taken s3xually, romantically, relationship, dating, etc., to the umpteenth degree, where we can't function without this question being THE question. We can't go one second, or one situation, without there being an issue about this question. Instead of people just being friends, period, and good for them, and next on the agenda. Even children play together on the playground, and sometimes they're boys playing with girls, and they never have an issue. I'm not speaking at the host of this video. I'm speaking at everyone on the planet. The fact we keep having to make this question into a video, and a discussion, etc. ........ The question "Can't we all just get along" ........ Can't we all just be friends? Period. That's it. And it be the end of the discussion. Can't that happen, PLEASE?! This shouldn't be THE question every time a man is talking to a lady. Certain scenarios, yes. But, not every time.
Everyone is different, there are exceptions, but for the most part it's wisest to protect your marriage/relationship from tricky situations because we are all human and capable of both jealousy and unfaithfulness. Also, we must commit precious time to one another, being with friends together is a good double solution.
I’m probably going to piss a lot of people off but as a girl who had more guy friends then girl friends- guys don’t want to be your friend😂 I have and had many guy friends more then girls because the girls just didn’t like me & it’s not that my guy friends weren’t real friends but once everyone got girlfriends they would go one by one. It’s not the end of the world but guys are looking for a partner and once they have one (and they are a genuine guy) they don’t care for female friends. I respect it actually but I never realized until I grew up. You can definitely have friends of the opposite gender but they got to be tied in somewhere to your life and most guys don’t want to just be your friend haha
Omg me too girls didn't like me as much as I tried!! Later I realized it was because of jealousy over me? Even though I was so insecure and anxious at the time, I had no idea and it sucked. Just got along with guys better for that reason
You're 100% correct. We're just not wired like that. Gay men may be the exception, but outside of them.. show me a man claiming to be good friends with a woman, and I'll show you a man who's clinging to hope.
It is possible but very difficult. For instance, I will use me as a example I met this woman 7 years ago thought she was dropdead gorgeous beautiful redhead over time I’ve developed feelings for her. I ended up falling in love with this woman. I tried twice to ask her out on a date she rejected me. We’re still friends, but through the whole process she knew how I felt and she use that against me use my emotions to benefit her and me being the idiot I’d let her that seven years later, I’m not that naïve. I have grown to the point where I still find her attractive but I can’t let any beautiful woman control me like that again because it’s cruel and wrong for anybody to do that to anyone.
I think the rule is no, you don’t have these types of friendships, though there are exceptions. One of my close friends is of the opposite sex, and we’ve met each other’s spouses but aren’t really friends with them. There’s a huge amount of respect and trust that’s been built there, otherwise it wouldn’t be possible. And even then, there are boundaries.
I like what you have been doing. I'm the quiet follower that just watches and gives thumbs up. Please don't stop your work. The haters are always the loudest. Stay focused on us the real numbers that follow not the small handful of idiots. Just a shout out of love what you do, don't stop. Thanks!
I think it all depends on how you manage that friendship. Like she said, it's possible- but if this friendship means hanging out with only 2 of them in a private space- or situation which could easilly be misunderstood, then this probably will shake your romantic relationship. It is fine to have attractive friends, as long as you stay loyal and drew a line on your friendship.
Is he young ? Is he single ? Has he not had good success with females ? Then no. It can't be done. As a teen-ager there was no chance I could just be friends with a female I was attracted to. As I've got older there is no problem.
My best friend is a smoking hot woman, I don't date her for three reasons. 1) I don't date roommates 2) she doesn't date Scorpios. 3) she has a boyfriend.
Basically the only reason you aren’t dating her is because she isn’t interested. If she were to dump her boyfriend and strip in front of you, you’d be on her like white on rice.
What if the woman he's attracted to is gay? Of course they could be friends then, regardless of how attractive she is to him. It kinda requires a mutual feeling for things to go past friendships. friends can admire each others beauty and boost each other up. Him finding her attractive doesnt mean it's mutual. If it is mutual, then that's one thing. But the reason it would stay in the friendzone is because it's probably not mutual. The other way around is true too: Can a woman be friends with an attractive man? Yes, of course. He might be gay, he might just not feel the same in return, he might be in a relationship he's not willing to japordise for someone else. Who knows. The question is kinda silly because the answer will always be "yes they can be friends" until all the variables starts being added in.
To be fair, I think for most men, we don't separate friendship from attraction. But being attracted to someone doesn't mean you are not contempt with just friendship or that you necessarily plan to act on it, but you wouldn't be closed to the possibility either. I mean, in most cases, as a man you approach a girl because you find her attractive in some way. I think it's also cultural. In most men movies they normally end up with their best friend. In girl movies the best friend normally is separate from the love interest. We grow up with opposite models and then we get surprised when things get messy.
@@Mewmew-lv5iv with men I normally approach them because we seem to have a mutual interest in something or because we need to share a space and we end up becoming buddies. Things are normally more circunstancial than with girls. What I mean is that it's more common approaching a woman because you felt a potential romantic interest but ended up becoming friends instead. My best friend happens to be a girl I met at highschool because I liked her, she rejected me, but we enjoyed each other's company so we sticked with being friends. And the attraction doesn't even need to be physical to begin with. But my point was that for guys friendship and sex or romance is not as mutually exclusive as it seems to be with girls and I think that brings a lot of trouble socially. It doesn't mean we just want you for sex, in most cases it means we enjoy your company and like you as an individual but wouldn't mind having something else. Of course there are guys that would absolutely lie to you and pretend to care just to have sex, but that doesn't mean all men will.
And here is where young age betrays. Feelings are not solid. They swing and sway slightly or not, and if you prioritize something more valuable than your wishes, you let them swing and sway without affecting you too much.
Back when i was single, I had female friends who I wasn't attracted to, female friends I was attraced to, and female friends i had been attracted to, but then we dated a bit and decided there was no "there" for dating, but we were happy to rmeain friends, so ... arguably I was no longer attracted to them. After my wife and I started dating, I maintained the female friendships to the ones i wasn't attracted to, including the ones I'd briefly dated -- in fact, i was closest to them, so I had them vet my wife for me. they loved her to death, and she liked them also and now we've ALL been friends for 16 years now. And I completely cut off contact with the ones I was attracted to becuz ... no use tempting fate. I found my wife, and that's enough. No need for anything else.
Some of the best opposite sex friendships are when you dated someone but then mutually broke up but now you’ve moved past all the sexual tension and are just best fiends.
Stuff like this becomes confusing when you're not straight. If someone is bisexual, does that mean they can't be friends with anyone once they get into a relationship, just because their spouse is terrified they might cheat? It's a ridiculous mindset. If you can't trust your partner to not cheat on you with their friend, that says more about you than them. I shouldn't have to cut ties with my friends just because my spouse has insecurity and trust issues. If my spouse decides to be controlling and say I need to kick my friends to the curb, I'll be kicking them to the curb.
I’m a woman engineer. Most of my classmates were male. I’m also very attractive, however my behavior, way of expressing my self and conduct earn the male respect. They always told me you are one of us…just prettier. I’m married now and still one of my best friends is a male, I have meet his girlfriends and we are like brother and sister. I think the issue comes when a female flirts with men instead of treating them as equals. The damsel in distress shit is the worst 😂. Male friends are amazing. Now I’m raising two boys and I want them to be able to be friends of a woman. Pretty or not, just friendship. So far we are succeeding on that.
The trick, ladies, is to act like a bit like a b* if you feel there's an attraction, but don't want to lead them on. You help them lose that attraction without breaking their hearts. Also note, there's nuance to how you do it. I've told that to one of my male best friends and he said "I know" 🤣 We're still friends!
I've had girl friends since high-school. I care about my friends, we all respect where we are at in our life's. Families, everything. It's very possible. And I'm damn grateful to have my friends as they, and family are the only things that really matter.
Come on now. Heck, let’s give men more credit than that. Men find nearly every woman attractive, doesn’t mean they’re willing to compromise their lives and dignity just to have a sexual encounter. This idea that men are shallow buffoons is such a stereotypical idea rooted in sexism and insecurities fostered by insecure women. Yes, there are those numb skulls that may behave such but let’s not label us all as bottom feeders so quickly. Plenty of well balanced secure men thinking with their brains and not their heads 😅
Yes. My best friend is a gorgeous woman. Doesn’t change the fact she’s my best friend. The person I seek advice from when overcoming my severe depression and anxiety and build confidence to pull other very gorgeous women.
I protect my marriage and dropped friendships with women who I found myself attracted to. That will never lead to anything good and I do believe it’s a man’s duty to put his wife above all else.
My own experience, I adore this woman, I have feelings for but she married. I respect the idea of marriage over my feelings so I will not act on those emotions. We are still friends
My fiancee has one female "friend" and she clearly had the hots for him. One time he showed me their chats and I laughed so hard. She would always try to strike up a conversation while he would send her Tikkis (Dutch version of a Venmo) to her for food and such and he would never respond to her. It was so funny to see a chat full of Tikkis😂
I’m bisexual. Can guarantee that platonic relationships are in fact possible with people of the sex you are attracted to 💀 I’ve been in one relationship. My ex bf trusted me, and I trusted him, to be honest, and we didn’t police who we hung out with (alone or in groups). Most of my closest friends happen to be guys. There is nothing between me and any of them. Never at any point in the relationship did I develop feelings for a friend or consider cheating. People are different and have different preferences, and I think extrapolating our own needs to everyone else in our dating philosophy is dumb. People need to deal with their insecurities.
So yes….ish. He will flirt. She may or may not reciprocate. If she does because she likes the attention then both of them have to cross the line for anything to happen. Hopefully you pick friends/ a boyfriend who wouldn’t do that to you. Eventually she will find someone else and move on because he is taken, and he will be back thinking you didn’t notice him falling all over her (just like you hope he didn’t notice you eyeing the cute guy at the gym. )
I'm usually 100% on board with everything you say but not this time. I'm a man and my best friends is a woman, and not like an ugly woman, she is a solid 8-9 with a killer personality. She is 100% my type but I'm not attracted to her in a sexaul or wanting a relationship type of way. Men and woman can be friends without being sexually attracted to one another.
You changed the whole situation!!! I am friends with quite a few " Attractive " women and I am happily married for 30 tears!!! My wife knows all these woman and is their friends.
You hit the nail on the head. A man can be friends with an attractive woman only if he is not personally attracted to her. I have a few women some of whom I know are very good looking. But I have never felt any attraction to them.
It's possible. I've done it most of my life. I never got married until into my late 40's.. Work... then I retired at 50 to spend the good years of my life with my young wife.
A girl n a boy can DEFF be just frnds as I have a lot of guy frnds becoz we treat each other as siblings...I think it's the society's influence on a guy n a girl's relationship("they can never be frnds" kinda statements,shipping the frnds even tho they aren't interested in each other or just "pressurising" them to find a partner) that may bring "intrest" between each other...But the world is changing n yea I would say it's possible n likely for a boy n a girl to be just frnds coz by the end of the day we r all humans
I have two male best friends.. we have NEVER done anything other than hug... One has now come out as gay... So we can scratch him off.. haha however, the other is a bro to me basically. Friends since high school.. And I'm close friends with his now wife. Possibly even closer to her hah. However, it is RARE... And once in a relationship... You don't CREATE friendships with the opposite sex... Because USUALLY as soon as you meet the opposite sex, you wonder, think, look for "is there potential for a relationship?" Sexual or romantic... And btw... No I'm not a dog of a woman. 🤣 (So weird to say... Sounds so cocky 😳😩) lol!
So, I have a male friend that I have known for almost 20 years. And he openly admitted that he was very attracted to me. But at any given time, one of us, or both of us was in a relationship with someone else and honestly I was not Interested in him that way. There came a point where both of us were single and we decided to try dating. Our friendship remains intact, but we decided that there were some things that we could not give one another that were important to us in a relationship and so we decided to break it off. He now has a new girlfriend and she and I get along great. I absolutely adore her, and he is super happy with her and I am super happy for them and he and I are still very good friends and she supports that. I think that, even if there is or was an attraction, then it is possible to just be friends with someone. I think the question is, are you an adult enough to not screw around on your partner? Just don’t cheat. Just don’t be an asshole. Just be open and honest in your communication and be respectful of others.
I have a guy best friend and we’ve tried dating a few times but it never works out so we decided that we’re better off as just friends and we still talk very often.
@@devinstallworth1558That’s exactly what I want from Women but they make it too difficult to go along with it nowadays which is why I just move on to the next ones who are okay with being FWB that it’s nothing really wrong with it at all.
I spent my career as a married, male English teacher . . . most of my colleagues were women with whom I typically had a lot in common . . . I would say they were great friends, but there are boundaries that need to be maintained. No one-on-one activities with any woman other than my wife. Also, watch the Happy Hour thing on Fridays (I never attended them). Alcohol can blur the lines for sure . . .
I was friends with attractive women. Our relationships were platonic. But the women eventually made attempts on me(man) to take it to a different level. Somebody is gonna eventually start liking someone.
I respect your opinion but... Changing it from attractive woman to a woman that he is attracted to... Ends up changing the question entirely... To answer the question that you asked yes. I agree with you. To answer the question that was actually asked. Yes it is one-hundred-percent possible for a man to be just friends with an attractive woman.
in high school i was friends with an attractive girl who my whole friend group wanted to smash...i just wasn't a massive horn-dog like that until later in life... if that happened today idk if i'd JUST be her friend
I think if the woman is attractive in the general sense, then it’s possible to just be friends. But if it’s like what she said, the woman is attractive to him, then….. probably not.
I think it's quite possible. Not for everyone, but definitely possible for most. Half of my friends are female, some of them are quite attractive. 2 of them are my exes (broke up peacefully and all). Besides, if there's someone you truly *love*, it's not that hard to overcome a simple attraction to somebody.
You can't change the question to make your point. I'm friends with a few attractive women, but I'm not attracted to their mindset. I HOPE to find a woman I am personally attracted to, but as you said.. it comes with characteristics and a mental capacity that would make me look at any woman differently. (She could be unattractive by today's standards, but her mind and traits create her beauty in my eyes, considering attractiveness is subjective anyway)
Well Ig sometimes there are things that would make someone 'girlfriend material' and what makes u a good friend might not necessarily make you a good lover . But it is harder to find someone with the maturity to not go after someone they simply find attractive and have few good qualities.
In my opinion no. I got asked to join an adult volleyball league. I thought it was women only. Found out it was co Ed and turned it down. I have an amazing man. I would never do anything to mess that up. I trust myself and our love/commitment but I won’t even make room for any other man to question if he has a chance. In my experience kindness will be interpreted as flirting to most men. Heck even standoffish can be interpreted as flirting or “hard to get”. Not even going to go there.
They can be friends but not hanging out all the time close friends because "the closer I get to you, the more you make me see, by giving you all I got, your love has captured me"
Depends on what u consider a friend to be ive had many female co workers to be friends "NEVER HAD ANY OF THEIR PHONE NUMBERS"certain things are just innoppropriate for marriage innocent friendships become a problem once the road gets rocky you can be in love with someone and not like them and once your not liking you spouse is when the things you like about your attractive friend will shine brighter and brighter which is why u shudnt do things with the opposite sex alone or honestly not outside of work or where ever it is you see them women are very emotional and can make bad decission when their feelings are all over the place and men who arent seeing eye to eye with their partner they aint grttin nun so they become pent up im not makin exscuses for cheatin but to prevent something from happening you acknowledge what leads too it
I think it’s possible, especially if you are in touch with your boundaries and stick with them. Some people will also play the friend card to get to know each other to figure out if they are worth dating or not. I don’t think that’s a bad thing to do: It’s a very common strategy. There are also people who are gay, aromantic, or asexual, who are not interested in romantic things at all. I think we can give these situations a bit more grace, especially when this generation is one of the loneliest.
I think it's possible with proper communication, but it never worked out for me personally. I've always had to re-establish boundaries I've voiced in the past with my guy friends. The boundary-crossing never got physical though. Many times poor communication is what led to the failure of these friendships. If I even get an inkling a guy friend has feelings for me, I end the friendship.
Recognising someone is attractive is not the same as being attracted to them.
Exactly
Sure but if you recognize they’re attractive doesn’t that mean they’re attractive to you?
Edit: for the sex your attracted to. Some people didn’t watch the video and keep telling me. “Well I’m a straight man and I can recognize my male friends are hot”. That’s great but your wife isn’t worried about you hanging out with your hot guy friends cuz you WOULDNT FUCK THEM. She’d be more concerned if you insist on hanging out with hot women. God you people are dense. Stop replying to me
@@VelehkSain Sometimes someone looks attractive but there’s no spark 🤷🏻♀️
@@LittleLulubee right but the video is saying that if they look attractive, and have a personality you like enough to be a friend it implies a spark.
@@LittleLulubee no but if a man thinks a woman is attractive that cave dna wants to impregnate that woman, basically a man wants to have sex with a woman he thinks is attractive
I think there is a difference between being friends with someone who is objectively attractive (as is beautiful/handsome) based on societies norms, and being friends with someone you are attracted to. Yes, the 2 areas overlap, but you can think of someone as attractive while not personally being attracted to them and vice versa.
I agree my best friend is a man and he’s cute but I would never date him
I totally agree! It's so subjective! Attracted TO would feel worse
Those who are beautiful to some are plain to others, and vice versa. I suppose being found attractive by the majority would earn you "attractive" status, but no one is attractive to everyone.
@@katev2753 😂😂😂
Exactly
There are different levels of “want”. Reasonable people can want to be in a relationship with an attractive friend, but know it’s not possible (either because of circumstances like other relationships, or just personal preference) and maintain a healthy friendship instead.
wanting someone while your in a relationship..
@@BuddaDawgDawgWitDaBudda yep, humans constantly want things we can’t have/know we should not have (that’s kind of part of human nature). Self-control and reasonableness are accepting that you should not have everything you want.
Yeah. I'm still friends with this woman I was in love with. She's gotten married to someone else and lives a happy life, and I'm about to get married to someone, and I'm happy for myself and for her. We still talk and joke around, but I don't hold the feelings for her that I used to because it would be awkward and may ruin our friendship
I met the most beautiful woman. She is so far out of my league, it is unbelievable. We became friends.
15 years later, she is the most wonderful and loyal friend in my life. She finds more time for me, even after having her first daughter and siblings the year after that. When she has a little bit of time to spare she always makes sure to catch up on their friends.
If you find a good woman, this is a fkn good woman, fucking or not.
You need to surround yourselves with good friends.
@@BuddaDawgDawgWitDaBudda IS CALL-NATURE
My husband has a huge group of friends from highschool, guys and girls. I have NEVER felt threatened by any of his girl friends, infact I'm so lucky because they're my closest friends now. Everyone's gotten married and we're all having kids. It's awesome, we have the biggest group of awesome people and all of our kids call everyone aunt and uncle. It's probably a rare situation but my husband is the nicest guy and best friend anyone could ask for so he attracted similar people into his life. None of his friends dated within their group, there was never any drama. Pure friendship.
poly
@@devinstallworth1558 do you have any friends at all?
That’s what it implies “A woman you’re attracted to” or “an attractive woman” not just a ordinary looking person
And then you woke up. Stop the cap.
Because the girls of the group didn't wanna date them.
If they gave the guys an opportunity they would grab it.
Just because nothing romantic or sexual happened that doesn't mena that no party didn't want it to happen.
One of my best friends for 50 years is female. Like a sister to me. And yes, she's beautiful.
BETA!!!!!
@@thecnicroute yes you are
@@thecnicroute grow up bro
Sure sure father time, now back to bed.
@@thecnicroute cuck
We have male and female friends in group settings. That's different than reaching out and hanging out by yourself without your partner. When I'm with his guy friends, he's there with me and vice versa.
That's accurate 💯
It's how I see it too personally. I have female friends but I'm never gonna stay up at night to text them or get too comfortable with them in private chats. Mixed group situations among my male and female friends are perfectly fine though. Physical and online. I keep my female friends at the same distance I would like my own partner to keep her male friends at.
@@JohnDoe-xm1ir
Yep, exactly that!!
So sad. My best friend is a man I briefly dated. We recognise each other’s attractiveness and we are platonic. He has got me through my lowest points. He is my family. The right one for me will embrace those who are important to me. And I can be counted upon to only behave in a way that appropriately respects my partner with regards to other men and in all areas of my life, just as I’d expect back.
How long have you been friends? Do you have a boyfriend and still have the best male friend?
@@candyxoxo19 This is a red flag. I would never put my lady friends over my wife, that boundary will have to be set firm.
Just be with him and cut the bs.
Almost no guy will accept that, but you'll either get with the best friend or find out when it's too late.
its no longer a platonic "friendship" after that once youve crossed that line i mean you can still be friends but you aren't the ideal friends because of the past. i mean if i was the man and heard you hooked up with ur "friend" relationship over immediately lol just be with that guy
If they've TRIED a relationship or revealed feelings with no luck (and they don't hate one another), it is possible. It's happened to me many times. Most of my female friends are ones I was once interested in.
But not if it's never been brought to a head.
But how would you feel if your wife has friends with a guy who said he had feelings for her. You wouldn’t be worried he may talk badly about you, create doubt and look for an opening
@@Catherine.Dorian. If she was already my wife, I wouldn't worry. So long as he knows, that's good enough.
I'm the kind of guy that I'd try to be his friend too, with her.
@@Burns_RED I don’t think you quite understand women enough… if a woman has a friend who was divorced and cheated on, she often will begin to convince her friend, say your wife, that you’re cheating and to divorce and get everything she can. My dads friend even experienced this. Reddit is full of stories with women basically sabotaging their friends relationships out of jealousy. Convincing him his wife cheated all cause she was jealous of their marriage. And guys will do this too, they’ll shit talk you and if there’s a tiny crack… the only way it really can work is if one (be the man or woman) isn’t at all attracted to the other. But women are very easy to manipulate this way, we want to be accepted by the group to the point we sacrifice our own self interests. It’s also why most of the woke movement is made up of women despite its removing a lot of their rights
@@Catherine.Dorian. If you think that you don't trust your wife too much.
So you playing the long game in the friendzone
I was friends with a girl I was extremely attracted to, and I never did anything towards her because she was already with another guy (long relationship, when we met we were 19 and they had been in a relationship for 7 years, ever since they were in middle school). You can absolutely still be friends with someone you find attractive if you have respect for them and yourself. I ended up finding other girls, and 5 years later, she's still with the same guy, and we're still friends.
You’re friends because she didn’t give you an opportunity to smash
Stop lying to yourself 😂😊
Lucky me being average my whole life; I got to be friends with both men and women. People these days do know there are other things in this world besides sex, right?
Especially other sexualities. Like what do straight people expect bisexuals to do? If a bisexual girl has a boyfriend and the girl has a group of female friends, is she not allowed to hang out with them anymore?
@Gothica that's what I think girl. I mean what happens with bisexuality? They don't have friends anymore? Do they trust their girl to be friends with other girls? Do they know the type of stuff that can happen on sleepovers? 😂😂😂😂
Exactly. Sex isn't everything, and I find it kind of sad that so many people can't imagine a man and a woman just being friends.
These people are simple minded man, let them be because they won't put in the effort to consider what else life has to offer
“Can a man and woman be friends?”Is one of the shittiest question ive ever heard 😂 😂
It’s like saying can white and black be friends lol
This is really down to personal preferences and boundaries. Personally, I don't like my man being close friends with another woman. And I'm not close friends with another man. Sure, hang out as a group, but one on one time just doesn't sit right with me PERSONALLY. When I first started dating my now husband, I couldn't help but feel jealous of some of his girl mates. Especially as a couple were purposely causing problems. On top of that, my male friends kept over stepping their mark and making moves on me. We decided that it wasn't worth making each other worry, decided that our friends were causing some problems, and got rid of them. Sure, you could say that was extreme, but we have been together for 10 years now, with a family. We still have friends, but we just hand out as a group when the opposite sex is involved. It's each to their own.
That’s a perfectly reasonable point of view and the right decision if you value your partner; not like you need validation from a stranger or anything but most ppl I’ve seen w/ problem free marriages make a similar move.
THEIR FULT AY
I love how you said *personally*, it shows how you understand that your life choices won’t work with everyone! Also, it’s a great thing that you communicated with your partner, because nothing really is extreme after that regarding your relationships.
Do you have advice on how to get rid of those existing friends? I'm a people pleaser and have an incredibly hard time doing anything that may cause discomfort to others, I don't know how to approach it without sounding overly rude. I don't like dancing around things and I've been told I'm too blunt, sometimes hurtful unintentionally. Do you have advice on what to say to get these people out of your life?
@@narfinarf5920 Be firm, set boundaries for yourself and don’t give in. If you feel uncomfortable or uneasy, remember that your comfortability comes first rather then “making your friends happy all the time”.
It’s very difficult for a people pleaser, I was one myself. But you have to understand that your a person to and you need to.. in a way.. “please yourself”…
If your friends are awful, you can try some things I did. I had terrible friends who would quite literally try to “kick my bucket”, so I told some of them “hey, I don’t want to be your friend. I gave you enough chances, I’m done and I’m not sorry. Use this to better yourself and help others.” And for others, I just ghosted them. I didn’t talk to them and I cut communication. I did tell them what they did that made me uncomfortable first of course, and I gave them a couple (like two) chances to regain trust. They blew it so I left.
You are important as well, if communication isn’t working between your relationships it’s always bound to fail. If they can’t respect boundaries, even small ones, they aren’t worth it. Try to think of it as “do I want to eat more candy and possibly get extremely unhealthy, or should I switch up my diet and take care of myself”. Candy is delicious, and it should be something to enjoy once in a while.. but not all the time. That candy will make you upset and you will no longer be happy/healthy.
So if needed, switch up your “diet”. Aka, switch up your friends.
I love how she goes on without missing a beat after she says "thats all I'm going to say."
She had to go into details
"Attractive" can be relative too; there is a woman I once found very attractive, but as I was not available as far as a relationship is concerned, I got to consider her a good friend. Over time I came to see her as just that and though I can still recognise that she is objectively attractive, she has become more like a sister to me. So I guess my answer would be no, I could not fathom maintaining a friendship with her while continuing to be attracted to her.
It is possible. One of my closest friends is a woman whom a lot of guys find attractive except me. I don't know why but since we became friends, I've always saw her as a sister. What's sad is some of my exes got all insecure around her 😅
Yep it's possible but very very unlikely for most people.
So was that friendship worth it if it made your partner insecure?
@@schy9614 it’s their problem if they are so insecure. She’s just acting like a red-flag detector at this point, he should keep being her friend. Also friendship>> romantic relationship
@@JingYuans_sparrow the point is, situations like that are so improbable that SOs having suspicions isn’t far fetched, especially when the friend is introduced after they got together.
And nobody preserves their relationships saying insecurities are a “you” problem 😂 please grow up
@@jomana1109 Genuinely curious whose problem you think it is. Do you think it’s the bf’s problem and that he is the one that needs to solve these insecurities despite the fact that it is the gf who has the insecurity problem?
@@jomana1109 that is a “you” problem. We can come to a compromise and have a talk about my relationships with my friends which are literally just friends, as a gay man I have no sexual interest in any of my guy friends, which some are objectively handsome but I wouldn’t jump into bed with them, even though I love them to death as a friend/family. But if a my boyfriend is being jealous and wants me to separate myself from my platonic guy friend(s), that is more of a him issue… it would be the same if he had objectively handsome friends and he was just friends with them, I’m not insecure with myself to be thinking that he’s cheating with any of his male friends. That’s a mature way of thinking. if I was being super flirty with my friends then that is different, but exceptions don’t make the rule
I’m an attractive man and yes, we can. But an insecure man will fall for just about any woman.
Im attractive to, add me to the list.
I'm a heterosexual male, quite masculine, but have a lot of platonic female friendships. I've probably friend zoned more girls than the other way around. I'm probably an outlier, but yeah, it's possible. I just like the company of women.
My spouse is the same. If you know what you're looking for in a partner and willing to be friends with others, there's no reason why a man can't be "just friends" with a woman. The trouble is that too many men don;t understand what it takes to have a solid, long-term, relationship and too many women sell themselves short for a hint of something semi-stable.
We've been together 30+ years. There have been no problems. We are both people who know what we want in relationships and aren't willing to settle for something weird.
Yeah same here bro! And sadly it got me into trouble! Led to a painful breakup and all...
@@goldengryphon it actually served as a good litmus test for female partners because those that had an ongoing problem with it almost always turned out to be assholes. I totally understand women being concerned or nervous about it because it's not common and aeems like it could be something else, but longterm, all my healthy partners came to realize I wasnt misrepresenting that these friendships were simply just friendships. A lot of the time, my girlfriends became as good of friends with my female friends as I was, and we all got along. My girlfriend now certainly understands, though she does probably get a little nervous here and there... we talk about it though and always sort it out. Communication is everything!
@@TheSoulBlossom been there!
None of my adult family members have friends of the opposite sex (minus my aunts gay friend). My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, none of them. Guess what they all have in common… happy long lasting marriages!
@Mewmew Hardly. No one has been banned from having friendships with the opposite sex, they have just naturally distanced themselves over time. They still have acquaintances of the opposite sex. My grandparents have been happily married for 60 years and neither have ever told the other what to do.
i'm friends with my ex and we both are in separate relationships but we ended on good terms, it just depends on the people, its not hard to cheat. you just need self control
Were y'all friends before?
Same. We knew we weren't going to wind up married, so we rigged our dating relationship so we could date and learn and still be friends afterwards. We're not wonderfully close anymore, but we still all hang out and play boardgames etc when we're all in the same town, he and his wife (also a good friend) and me and my husband. It's lots of fun.
You wrote, "It's not hard to cheat." I respectfully disagree. I've never been on a romantic relationship before. But when I was in 10th grade giving my board exams, it was very hard to cheat! Other people always managed to cheat of off me but I could never never cheat of off their answer sheet 🥲.
@@thecamillarose9806 no, we met on a dating app and started dating a week in, lasted 2 years, became friends during the relationship, it didn't work out and remained friends to this day.
@@apolarahman6603 lmao she meant cheat in relationships. It's pretty easy there can be many opportunities especially on the women side
I believe it is possible. If we just assume that every guy will want a romantic relationship with every attractive woman and every other woman is jealous of the same exact individual.. the concept of pure and true friendship would just vanish. Most of us admit that Amala is an extremely attractive and beautiful woman, but that doesn't mean that every man around her must want to gain something romantic-related from her:) By assuming that they do, we're basically calling every man around her an uneducated pig, whose only goal is to win her heart because of her looks. So yeah, I do believe that handsome men and astounding women can, in fact, remain friends:)
The people who disagree that a man and a woman can be friends, are usually people with trust issues and insecurities. The minority are the loudest which is why we always hear about this topic. I know there are a few bad apples in a bunch that cheat on their partner with their BFF. However, but to claim that eventually EVERYONE will do the same if they're friends with the opposite sex is ridiculous and, asinine. I'm asexual and aren't attracted to anyone. But sure enough, some insecure woman with trust issues wouldn't want me to befriend her man, just because she thinks her spouse will cheat on her with me. The whole concept is crazy once you try to take a closer look.
Men and women not only can be friends with no expectations of a relationship, it’s actually quite common.
I agree with you 100%. My dad told me this when I was a teenager, and it has stood true all these years, 49 years.
ONLY woman I've been friends with... were FRIENDS of my ex wife... when we were together I was friends with her friends.
I’ve had multiple attractive friends who have been women. I have also dated attractive women. For me it’s about expectations, as a guy if you go into it wanting to laugh and enjoy pure aspects of friendship…. It’s easy especially if they have a boyfriend😂
Can a starving person just sit in front of a buffet every day and never think about eating?
i had two gay guy friends because everyone straight would hit on me despite me being in a relationship and thats not ok. well they both found out they were bisexual because of me so uh i gave up
You might as well try and think about how you behave with your friends, most of the time the answer is there.
What? Are you some stunning beauty or something?
Yeaaa being a dude is rough 😂
Duh!
Thats so real
I could Never have a girl "friend " what am I supposed to sit and watch Hallmark movies and talk all day with her?? Na I'm gooooood!
I have lots of strictly platonic friendships with guys. The "trick" is to be in a serious relationship with someone they like/respect. I love having guy friends, but unless they see you as untouchable it can get difficult
you do know platonic friend mean right 😂😂
@@devinstallworth1558 Just differentiating from the guy friends I slept with while single 😊
I’m a guy and have more female friends than male friends. Some of my female friends are in relationships, some are single, some are gay. I don’t want a relationship with any of them any more than they want a relationship with me. It’s weird to me that people think that’s weird.
I’ve had many male friends in my life who are good looking but I wasn’t rlly ever attracted to them
I have been interested in some of them when I first meet them but then realized that I wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship with them
I saw someone say that recognizing someone is attractive is not the same as being attracted to them and I will always stand by that
Yeah,if i like her as a friend i do like her as more then a friend
1 thing i dont understand its many people are in relationships with partners they are not friends,they just fuck and live together but do nothing else like friends do,its so strange to me
If a woman and I have a chemistry which allows there to be a friendship, I have to engage in interest inorder for my feelings about her to evolve. I am already committed, and I have been on a journey with this person for a while, so I know what it takes. I was raised around women mostly and I tend to get along with girls better. So for me I don't have any issue being able to love as a friend for a friend, and to love my partner as both a dear friend and lover.
They don't cross, physical attractiveness is a nice lure, but I know what comes should you pull on it. It's nothing to trifle with.
The fact this is a question to the point where it's really this much of an issue, and most people say "no" to this question, and so many people have discussed this question, and every time it's the same answer ("no"), that shows where the minds of humans are. If people can't just be friends, period, that's it, okay, next on the agenda, and that's that, we as a species need to ask ourselves some serious questions about ourselves as a species. EVERYTHING is taken s3xually, romantically, relationship, dating, etc., to the umpteenth degree, where we can't function without this question being THE question. We can't go one second, or one situation, without there being an issue about this question. Instead of people just being friends, period, and good for them, and next on the agenda. Even children play together on the playground, and sometimes they're boys playing with girls, and they never have an issue.
I'm not speaking at the host of this video. I'm speaking at everyone on the planet. The fact we keep having to make this question into a video, and a discussion, etc. ........ The question "Can't we all just get along" ........ Can't we all just be friends? Period. That's it. And it be the end of the discussion. Can't that happen, PLEASE?! This shouldn't be THE question every time a man is talking to a lady. Certain scenarios, yes. But, not every time.
Everyone is different, there are exceptions, but for the most part it's wisest to protect your marriage/relationship from tricky situations because we are all human and capable of both jealousy and unfaithfulness. Also, we must commit precious time to one another, being with friends together is a good double solution.
I’m probably going to piss a lot of people off but as a girl who had more guy friends then girl friends- guys don’t want to be your friend😂 I have and had many guy friends more then girls because the girls just didn’t like me & it’s not that my guy friends weren’t real friends but once everyone got girlfriends they would go one by one. It’s not the end of the world but guys are looking for a partner and once they have one (and they are a genuine guy) they don’t care for female friends. I respect it actually but I never realized until I grew up. You can definitely have friends of the opposite gender but they got to be tied in somewhere to your life and most guys don’t want to just be your friend haha
Omg me too girls didn't like me as much as I tried!! Later I realized it was because of jealousy over me? Even though I was so insecure and anxious at the time, I had no idea and it sucked. Just got along with guys better for that reason
Tru on the most guys don't just wanna be friends aspect. Sucks that they don't realize that we arent always looking for a partner lolz
@@thecamillarose9806 you know what would make that clear from the start? Telling them your not looking for a partner.
Well dont feel special tho cuz the same applies to yall women too tho. Smh.
You're 100% correct. We're just not wired like that. Gay men may be the exception, but outside of them.. show me a man claiming to be good friends with a woman, and I'll show you a man who's clinging to hope.
Jeez. You are so on point with every answer.
It is possible but very difficult. For instance, I will use me as a example I met this woman 7 years ago thought she was dropdead gorgeous beautiful redhead over time I’ve developed feelings for her. I ended up falling in love with this woman. I tried twice to ask her out on a date she rejected me. We’re still friends, but through the whole process she knew how I felt and she use that against me use my emotions to benefit her and me being the idiot I’d let her that seven years later, I’m not that naïve. I have grown to the point where I still find her attractive but I can’t let any beautiful woman control me like that again because it’s cruel and wrong for anybody to do that to anyone.
I think the rule is no, you don’t have these types of friendships, though there are exceptions. One of my close friends is of the opposite sex, and we’ve met each other’s spouses but aren’t really friends with them. There’s a huge amount of respect and trust that’s been built there, otherwise it wouldn’t be possible. And even then, there are boundaries.
I like what you have been doing. I'm the quiet follower that just watches and gives thumbs up. Please don't stop your work. The haters are always the loudest. Stay focused on us the real numbers that follow not the small handful of idiots. Just a shout out of love what you do, don't stop. Thanks!
I am a female and I have had a male friend for 25 years, since we were teens and it was never more than anything but friends.
I think it all depends on how you manage that friendship. Like she said, it's possible- but if this friendship means hanging out with only 2 of them in a private space- or situation which could easilly be misunderstood, then this probably will shake your romantic relationship. It is fine to have attractive friends, as long as you stay loyal and drew a line on your friendship.
Is he young ? Is he single ? Has he not had good success with females ? Then no. It can't be done. As a teen-ager there was no chance I could just be friends with a female I was attracted to. As I've got older there is no problem.
My best friend is a smoking hot woman, I don't date her for three reasons.
1) I don't date roommates
2) she doesn't date Scorpios.
3) she has a boyfriend.
Basically the only reason you aren’t dating her is because she isn’t interested. If she were to dump her boyfriend and strip in front of you, you’d be on her like white on rice.
What if the woman he's attracted to is gay? Of course they could be friends then, regardless of how attractive she is to him. It kinda requires a mutual feeling for things to go past friendships.
friends can admire each others beauty and boost each other up.
Him finding her attractive doesnt mean it's mutual.
If it is mutual, then that's one thing.
But the reason it would stay in the friendzone is because it's probably not mutual.
The other way around is true too: Can a woman be friends with an attractive man? Yes, of course.
He might be gay, he might just not feel the same in return, he might be in a relationship he's not willing to japordise for someone else. Who knows.
The question is kinda silly because the answer will always be "yes they can be friends" until all the variables starts being added in.
To be fair, I think for most men, we don't separate friendship from attraction. But being attracted to someone doesn't mean you are not contempt with just friendship or that you necessarily plan to act on it, but you wouldn't be closed to the possibility either. I mean, in most cases, as a man you approach a girl because you find her attractive in some way.
I think it's also cultural. In most men movies they normally end up with their best friend. In girl movies the best friend normally is separate from the love interest. We grow up with opposite models and then we get surprised when things get messy.
@@Mewmew-lv5iv with men I normally approach them because we seem to have a mutual interest in something or because we need to share a space and we end up becoming buddies. Things are normally more circunstancial than with girls.
What I mean is that it's more common approaching a woman because you felt a potential romantic interest but ended up becoming friends instead. My best friend happens to be a girl I met at highschool because I liked her, she rejected me, but we enjoyed each other's company so we sticked with being friends. And the attraction doesn't even need to be physical to begin with. But my point was that for guys friendship and sex or romance is not as mutually exclusive as it seems to be with girls and I think that brings a lot of trouble socially. It doesn't mean we just want you for sex, in most cases it means we enjoy your company and like you as an individual but wouldn't mind having something else. Of course there are guys that would absolutely lie to you and pretend to care just to have sex, but that doesn't mean all men will.
And here is where young age betrays. Feelings are not solid. They swing and sway slightly or not, and if you prioritize something more valuable than your wishes, you let them swing and sway without affecting you too much.
I’m gay and definitely yes. I can be friends with anyone I want.
I’m jealous of your powers
Back when i was single, I had female friends who I wasn't attracted to, female friends I was attraced to, and female friends i had been attracted to, but then we dated a bit and decided there was no "there" for dating, but we were happy to rmeain friends, so ... arguably I was no longer attracted to them.
After my wife and I started dating, I maintained the female friendships to the ones i wasn't attracted to, including the ones I'd briefly dated -- in fact, i was closest to them, so I had them vet my wife for me. they loved her to death, and she liked them also and now we've ALL been friends for 16 years now.
And I completely cut off contact with the ones I was attracted to becuz ... no use tempting fate. I found my wife, and that's enough. No need for anything else.
Some of the best opposite sex friendships are when you dated someone but then mutually broke up but now you’ve moved past all the sexual tension and are just best fiends.
You’re absolutely right.
Stuff like this becomes confusing when you're not straight. If someone is bisexual, does that mean they can't be friends with anyone once they get into a relationship, just because their spouse is terrified they might cheat? It's a ridiculous mindset. If you can't trust your partner to not cheat on you with their friend, that says more about you than them. I shouldn't have to cut ties with my friends just because my spouse has insecurity and trust issues. If my spouse decides to be controlling and say I need to kick my friends to the curb, I'll be kicking them to the curb.
If both of them are single yes. Or if she is attractive in general, but not his taste. Otherwise, it is very rare.
For me, it's possible and I have a friend who's a woman. We're just friends
I’m a woman engineer. Most of my classmates were male. I’m also very attractive, however my behavior, way of expressing my self and conduct earn the male respect. They always told me you are one of us…just prettier. I’m married now and still one of my best friends is a male, I have meet his girlfriends and we are like brother and sister. I think the issue comes when a female flirts with men instead of treating them as equals. The damsel in distress shit is the worst 😂. Male friends are amazing. Now I’m raising two boys and I want them to be able to be friends of a woman. Pretty or not, just friendship. So far we are succeeding on that.
I detect much ego here. If you have the need to mentioning such things its safe to believe that you are not attractive.
The trick, ladies, is to act like a bit like a b* if you feel there's an attraction, but don't want to lead them on. You help them lose that attraction without breaking their hearts. Also note, there's nuance to how you do it.
I've told that to one of my male best friends and he said "I know" 🤣 We're still friends!
I've had girl friends since high-school. I care about my friends, we all respect where we are at in our life's. Families, everything. It's very possible. And I'm damn grateful to have my friends as they, and family are the only things that really matter.
Come on now. Heck, let’s give men more credit than that. Men find nearly every woman attractive, doesn’t mean they’re willing to compromise their lives and dignity just to have a sexual encounter. This idea that men are shallow buffoons is such a stereotypical idea rooted in sexism and insecurities fostered by insecure women. Yes, there are those numb skulls that may behave such but let’s not label us all as bottom feeders so quickly. Plenty of well balanced secure men thinking with their brains and not their heads 😅
Yes. My best friend is a gorgeous woman. Doesn’t change the fact she’s my best friend. The person I seek advice from when overcoming my severe depression and anxiety and build confidence to pull other very gorgeous women.
I protect my marriage and dropped friendships with women who I found myself attracted to. That will never lead to anything good and I do believe it’s a man’s duty to put his wife above all else.
My own experience, I adore this woman, I have feelings for but she married. I respect the idea of marriage over my feelings so I will not act on those emotions.
We are still friends
Your twisting the question, changed the question entirely. Having an attractive friend has absolutely nothing to do with one’s attraction to them.
As long as he's gay
My fiancee has one female "friend" and she clearly had the hots for him. One time he showed me their chats and I laughed so hard.
She would always try to strike up a conversation while he would send her Tikkis (Dutch version of a Venmo) to her for food and such and he would never respond to her. It was so funny to see a chat full of Tikkis😂
As a man of some age I agree with Amala.
I’m bisexual. Can guarantee that platonic relationships are in fact possible with people of the sex you are attracted to 💀
I’ve been in one relationship. My ex bf trusted me, and I trusted him, to be honest, and we didn’t police who we hung out with (alone or in groups). Most of my closest friends happen to be guys. There is nothing between me and any of them. Never at any point in the relationship did I develop feelings for a friend or consider cheating. People are different and have different preferences, and I think extrapolating our own needs to everyone else in our dating philosophy is dumb.
People need to deal with their insecurities.
“That’s all I’m gonna say”
*proceeds to talk about the same subject*
I have a great friend that fits this description. I love her very much. As a PERSON.
So yes….ish. He will flirt. She may or may not reciprocate. If she does because she likes the attention then both of them have to cross the line for anything to happen. Hopefully you pick friends/ a boyfriend who wouldn’t do that to you. Eventually she will find someone else and move on because he is taken, and he will be back thinking you didn’t notice him falling all over her (just like you hope he didn’t notice you eyeing the cute guy at the gym. )
I'm usually 100% on board with everything you say but not this time. I'm a man and my best friends is a woman, and not like an ugly woman, she is a solid 8-9 with a killer personality. She is 100% my type but I'm not attracted to her in a sexaul or wanting a relationship type of way. Men and woman can be friends without being sexually attracted to one another.
You changed the whole situation!!! I am friends with quite a few " Attractive " women and I am happily married for 30 tears!!! My wife knows all these woman and is their friends.
You hit the nail on the head. A man can be friends with an attractive woman only if he is not personally attracted to her. I have a few women some of whom I know are very good looking. But I have never felt any attraction to them.
And Boroya's depts to the yakuza causes him to have a late night visit and mysteriosly disappear
It's possible. I've done it most of my life. I never got married until into my late 40's.. Work... then I retired at 50 to spend the good years of my life with my young wife.
No amount of pure intent can overpower nature.
A girl n a boy can DEFF be just frnds as I have a lot of guy frnds becoz we treat each other as siblings...I think it's the society's influence on a guy n a girl's relationship("they can never be frnds" kinda statements,shipping the frnds even tho they aren't interested in each other or just "pressurising" them to find a partner) that may bring "intrest" between each other...But the world is changing n yea I would say it's possible n likely for a boy n a girl to be just frnds coz by the end of the day we r all humans
I have two male best friends.. we have NEVER done anything other than hug... One has now come out as gay... So we can scratch him off.. haha however, the other is a bro to me basically. Friends since high school.. And I'm close friends with his now wife. Possibly even closer to her hah. However, it is RARE... And once in a relationship... You don't CREATE friendships with the opposite sex... Because USUALLY as soon as you meet the opposite sex, you wonder, think, look for "is there potential for a relationship?" Sexual or romantic...
And btw... No I'm not a dog of a woman. 🤣 (So weird to say... Sounds so cocky 😳😩) lol!
So, I have a male friend that I have known for almost 20 years. And he openly admitted that he was very attracted to me. But at any given time, one of us, or both of us was in a relationship with someone else and honestly I was not Interested in him that way. There came a point where both of us were single and we decided to try dating. Our friendship remains intact, but we decided that there were some things that we could not give one another that were important to us in a relationship and so we decided to break it off. He now has a new girlfriend and she and I get along great. I absolutely adore her, and he is super happy with her and I am super happy for them and he and I are still very good friends and she supports that. I think that, even if there is or was an attraction, then it is possible to just be friends with someone. I think the question is, are you an adult enough to not screw around on your partner? Just don’t cheat. Just don’t be an asshole. Just be open and honest in your communication and be respectful of others.
I have a guy best friend and we’ve tried dating a few times but it never works out so we decided that we’re better off as just friends and we still talk very often.
he got what he wanted
fwb
@@devinstallworth1558That’s exactly what I want from Women but they make it too difficult to go along with it nowadays which is why I just move on to the next ones who are okay with being FWB that it’s nothing really wrong with it at all.
She nailed it. Maybe a few exceptions, but she is largely correct.
Well she is preaching to the choir over here🎉
If he is in a healthy relationship, yes for sure. If he is single, nope. He could be a friend but he will always be open to going forward.
I spent my career as a married, male English teacher . . . most of my colleagues were women with whom I typically had a lot in common . . . I would say they were great friends, but there are boundaries that need to be maintained. No one-on-one activities with any woman other than my wife. Also, watch the Happy Hour thing on Fridays (I never attended them). Alcohol can blur the lines for sure . . .
I was friends with attractive women. Our relationships were platonic. But the women eventually made attempts on me(man) to take it to a different level. Somebody is gonna eventually start liking someone.
I respect your opinion but... Changing it from attractive woman to a woman that he is attracted to... Ends up changing the question entirely...
To answer the question that you asked yes. I agree with you.
To answer the question that was actually asked. Yes it is one-hundred-percent possible for a man to be just friends with an attractive woman.
I’m friends with some attractive women but I don’t like them like that.
you might be gay
in high school i was friends with an attractive girl who my whole friend group wanted to smash...i just wasn't a massive horn-dog like that until later in life... if that happened today idk if i'd JUST be her friend
I think if the woman is attractive in the general sense, then it’s possible to just be friends. But if it’s like what she said, the woman is attractive to him, then….. probably not.
Thank you!! I’ve been saying that for years and women get mad at me for it 😂
I think it's quite possible. Not for everyone, but definitely possible for most. Half of my friends are female, some of them are quite attractive. 2 of them are my exes (broke up peacefully and all). Besides, if there's someone you truly *love*, it's not that hard to overcome a simple attraction to somebody.
Wow, I rarely saw a comment on youtube that a agreed more with 🙏💯
You can't change the question to make your point. I'm friends with a few attractive women, but I'm not attracted to their mindset. I HOPE to find a woman I am personally attracted to, but as you said.. it comes with characteristics and a mental capacity that would make me look at any woman differently. (She could be unattractive by today's standards, but her mind and traits create her beauty in my eyes, considering attractiveness is subjective anyway)
That's just a sweeping generalization that very often leads to unnecessary breakups 😅
If the man isn't straight, then yeah.
Well Ig sometimes there are things that would make someone 'girlfriend material' and what makes u a good friend might not necessarily make you a good lover . But it is harder to find someone with the maturity to not go after someone they simply find attractive and have few good qualities.
I had never heard this said about gays or lesbians. Do you to think that a gay person can be friends with the same gender?
In my opinion no. I got asked to join an adult volleyball league. I thought it was women only. Found out it was co Ed and turned it down. I have an amazing man. I would never do anything to mess that up. I trust myself and our love/commitment but I won’t even make room for any other man to question if he has a chance. In my experience kindness will be interpreted as flirting to most men. Heck even standoffish can be interpreted as flirting or “hard to get”. Not even going to go there.
I would try to be friends with Amala.
But, I fear I would come down with
case of puppy love. 😻
If he's gay then probably, yes.
They can be friends but not hanging out all the time close friends because "the closer I get to you, the more you make me see, by giving you all I got, your love has captured me"
Depends on what u consider a friend to be ive had many female co workers to be friends "NEVER HAD ANY OF THEIR PHONE NUMBERS"certain things are just innoppropriate for marriage innocent friendships become a problem once the road gets rocky you can be in love with someone and not like them and once your not liking you spouse is when the things you like about your attractive friend will shine brighter and brighter which is why u shudnt do things with the opposite sex alone or honestly not outside of work or where ever it is you see them women are very emotional and can make bad decission when their feelings are all over the place and men who arent seeing eye to eye with their partner they aint grttin nun so they become pent up im not makin exscuses for cheatin but to prevent something from happening you acknowledge what leads too it
I think it’s possible, especially if you are in touch with your boundaries and stick with them. Some people will also play the friend card to get to know each other to figure out if they are worth dating or not. I don’t think that’s a bad thing to do: It’s a very common strategy. There are also people who are gay, aromantic, or asexual, who are not interested in romantic things at all. I think we can give these situations a bit more grace, especially when this generation is one of the loneliest.
I think it's possible with proper communication, but it never worked out for me personally. I've always had to re-establish boundaries I've voiced in the past with my guy friends. The boundary-crossing never got physical though. Many times poor communication is what led to the failure of these friendships. If I even get an inkling a guy friend has feelings for me, I end the friendship.
Yes!! I pretty much only had male friends. Grew up with 3 brothers and always more comfortable with men.
Dude really has to be okay with himself before that's a factor.