How Amanda reclaimed her life from insomnia and abandoned all the unhelpful rules & rituals (#47)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
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Amanda slept well through high school, college, and her early professional life. Her experience with insomnia began when a number of different stressors all showed up around the same time. She had a baby. She relocated. She had to get a new job. She had to deal with a toxic parent.
Even when things settled down, Amanda found herself struggling to fall asleep. She felt as though her own mind was working against her. She started to panic and didn’t know what to do.
After finding that CBD gummies, melatonin, over-the-counter sleep aids, alcohol, and the many sleep rituals and rules she implemented were not helping, Amanda realized she needed to explore a different approach. That was when she found the Insomnia Coach podcast, recognized her own experience in the stories of others, and started working with me.
Amanda realized that the more she chased after sleep, the more she craved it, the more she tried to make it happen, the more difficult it became. So, she started to move away from chasing after sleep and from trying to fight or avoid nighttime wakefulness and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that came with it.
She started to acknowledge her thoughts - even the really difficult ones - instead of trying to control them. As she did that, she found that her thoughts weren’t always true and that she always had control over her actions, regardless of what her mind might have told her.
As she practiced this new approach, Amanda started to notice more of the good stuff that was present in her life and she started to do more of the things that mattered to her. And, as she moved away from the insomnia struggle and expanded the focus of her attention, she found that she started to sleep a lot better, too.
As Amanda shares in this episode, the process was not easy. There were ups and downs. Her new approach took time and ongoing practice. However, as she started to get more comfortable with experiencing nighttime wakefulness, as she gained skill in allowing her thoughts and feelings to come and go as they pleased, and as she committed to doing things that kept her moving toward the life she wanted to live each day - independently of sleep - she was able to reclaim her life from insomnia.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach....
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Martin
Are there any patients who gained back their sense of sleepyness
Like do they feel sleepy again?
@@DallasKrause Absolutely! And Amanda actually talks about that in this episode: "When we started to implement the sleep window and taking away the naps, I started to feel this natural sleepiness come in, in the evening. And it just felt like a sweet relief. I didn’t have to try to bring it on. It was naturally happening."
@@InsomniaCoach damn some people can actually nap?? That must be nice. I can’t even nap during the day to save my life.
@@LilianaSimental-u7e Many people I work with find they cannot nap when they try. And, that makes sense since people with chronic insomnia are usually fatigued rather than sleepy during the day.
I have been enjoying this podcast. It's given me some insight, but i'm still new at this. The last 4 nights, I've slept about 2 hours a night. This evening I was so exhausted. I was falling asleep so I went to ly down and now I'm wide awake in my bed, and it's so strange. I don't understand
I was really surprised to hear that there are no big studies suggesting that lack of sleep is detrimental to your health. The many podcasts I've listened to state the same old sleep hygiene stuff that I already do: regular bedtime, total darkness, cool temps, no electronics, no food, prepare for sleeping and get quiet a few hours before bedtime, etc. and I still wake after only 5 hours. These researchers and experts (Huberman etc.) shout about how the glial cells of the brain can't be cleaned without 7+ hours of sleep and that can lead to Parkinson's, Alzheimers, ALS, etc. and if you're not sleeping at least 7 hours every night you're in trouble but I can't force myself to sleep.
That kind of content is great for grabbing attention, right?! In the context of all those scary headlines, it's amazing how so many people who get less than seven hours of sleep are still alive!
The only sleep hygiene parameter I'm really consistent with now is limiting blue light an hour or 2 prior to bed. That's just pure autonomous physiology that affects your circadian rhythm and melatonin cycle. That being said, I can have blue light in my eyes right up to bed time and still experience " normal" sleep (I think). I haven't really tracked the effect and I'm certainly not going to now . just think that your melatonin isn't dependent or influenced by your mental perspective concerning sleep the way that cortisol and adrenaline can be, it's mostly dependent on the correct light exposure. I also make sure my room temperature is 70 ish. That's just for comfort though.
Sleep restriction actually does the opposite of making me sleep better. It gets increasingly worse, my sleep depth gets worse, my stress levels go up(lack of sleep makes your stress resistence dramatically drop). I think it is because my insomnia is not because of worrying about sleep, it is because of a constant state of stress. When I get 1-2 good nights of sleep it is easier for me to continue sleeping better because my brain is more rested actually. The approach that works the best for me is to have no bed time at all and just wait untill you are so sleepy you get knocked out in your chair and then go to bed. Then I actually sleep very well for 8 hours. After a couple good nights doing this, it is sometimes even possible to "go around the clock" until I fall asleep at a normal bedtime and keep it like that for a while.
Thanks for sharing, Anthony! The goal of the sleep window isn't to make sleep happen - it's more to help us move away from chasing after sleep, and that's what it sounds as though you've achieved with the approach you described!
I’ve tried sleep restriction and it does nothing for me at all even since I can’t fall asleep and never feel sleepy. I also don’t have worrying thoughts or “hyperarousal” thoughts when it’s time to go to bed. I tried not going to bed until I feel sleepy but it made my insomnia worse and haven’t slept at all for 5 days. Also your 2 week free program or sample or whatever it is wasn’t useful at all. Don’t know what else to do, I don’t even try to sleep anymore but it just makes everything worse and doesn’t help at all. I haven’t had the eventual huge chunks of sleep that you claim happen after many nights of not sleeping I just eventually micro sleep in increments of every 10-20 minutes with wakefulness and only get a total of 2 hours of sleep which is decreasing with time. I’m also starting to lose my rem sleep. It’s no longer vivid dreams just conscious imaginative thoughts.
It sounds as though your experience tells you that the more you try to make sleep happen, the more difficult it becomes. You might benefit from working one-on-one with a licensed healthcare provider who specializes in sleep. I wish you all the best - what you are going through is very difficult.
nothing works for me. I am very depressed.
Sorry to hear this. If things worked, what would be different?
Sleep window - In deciding the length of the window should we rigidly adhere to recent sleep length that has been poor - say 4 hours or set at a more optimistic 6 hrs which we have achieved in the last 2 weeks - and if you remember me I posed the question of being a bedsit as an obsticle to not using the bedroom to watch TV, listen to music etc - can't remember your reply - my apologies
I think four hours might be a bit short! Six hours if often a helpful starting point. A bedsit isn't an obstacle to sleep - it's OK to do whatever you want in your bedroom; what we're really looking to do is move struggle away from the bedroom.
Hey Martin, quick question: I would like to implement stimulus control (staying out of bed to recreate the association between the bed and sleep) but it isn’t very practical for me. I rent out a small room where I really only have room for a small bed, and so I’m always in my bed when I’m at home. Wanted to know how crucial to the recovery process you think stimulus control is and whether or not I’m inhibiting my recovery and any other advice you might have. Thanks!
I think that if you are able to practice moving away from struggle when in bed, that's what truly matters. Wakefulness isn't really the problem - it's our struggle with it that can train the brain the believe the bed (or the bedroom) is a battleground.
If I my sleep window is around 10:30-8am, but I want to go to bed later, 1) is it a good idea to wait, 2) what should I do to not mess sleep up in that situation
10:30 PM would be an earliest bedtime if that's the start of your sleep window. If you want to go to bed later, feel free to go to bed later - I'd simply suggest trying to stay reasonably close to your planned out of bed time of 8:00 AM, regardless of when you go to bed or what happens at night. It might also be helpful to consider that a sleep window of 10:30 PM to 8:00 AM is nine-and-a-half hours long - so if you don't usually sleep for nine or more hours, you might be setting yourself up for long periods of nighttime wakefulness.
The last month I have had about 6 nights where I get zero hours of sleep. The only way I have been sleeping is with a pill, or I get lucky and some nights sleep without anything. Do you have any stories of people who don't sleep at all? The muscle pain the next day is just debilitating. How do people function and go on with their day?
That sounds really difficult, Bridget. Everyone sleeps - one night of zero hours of sleep means that sleep becomes a lot more likely on subsequent nights because sleep drive always wins in the end. The following days can definitely be a lot more difficult - and so there's a choice to be made. Continue to do things that matter, or withdraw from doing things that matter. Only you know which is the more workable approach for you. I hope there's something useful here and I wish you all the best.
@ Bridget latke we are sailing in the same boat past 2 weeks I slept only twice . After taking a biotin supplement . I have no idea how to when my sleep is going to be back on track . But it keeps happening to me this time it’s taking a little longer . 😔
@@InsomniaCoach saying sleep drive always wins because someone sleeps after 6 days doesn’t sound reassuring at all. If anything it sounds like the insomnia is winning since it outweighs/overpowers the poor sleep drive
Oh sorry, that was six days in two weeks.
@@BridgetLatke-qj2tt how much do you sleep without medication?? I sleep nothing at all and will go on consecutive days without sleep unless I take something. I haven’t stopped takings any kind of strong meds because last time I went 5 days of 0 sleep and almost ended up in a mental haorpital
I made a sleeping window of 6 hours(12am to 6am) now i wake up exact at 6 am . After a while I Tried to extend my sleeping window but unable to do so , i am wide awake at 6 am unwillingly everyday. I spend about 90%of my time in bed sleeping . Please tell me what can I do to solve it .
Have you tried going to bed a bit earlier than midnight, if you feel sleepier before midnight, rather than trying to make more sleep happen after 6:00 AM?
@@InsomniaCoach yes , if I go to bed 30 minutes earlier , i wake up 30 minutes earlier too. Before previously overcame my insomnia this problem was the main challenge.
@@HassanKhan017 What's the problem you're trying to solve here, Hassan? It seems as though your body is quite happy to generate close to six hours of sleep - do you feel trying to make more sleep happen might be the cause of some ongoing struggle here?
Wish i had that. You should be happy.
90% of time in bed asleep suggests to me you don't have a problem with sleep at all really. I think the main problem is you trying to make it 100%, which isn't realistically achievable on a consistent basis
Martin thanks for your work!
In some videos you mentioned that there is no evidence that chronic insomnia has a bad effect on health. However i can read a lot about increased risk of blood pressure problems, heart problems or diabetes as results of insomnia. Arent those researches built on reliable sources?
The other question is: What if the health issues above are not results of the lack of sleep, but the increased level of adrenaline? As usually people are in anxiety when it comes to not falling asleep, so being awake is usually hand in hand with increased stress hormons in the blood.
Many of the studies out there aren't looking at people with chronic insomnia and some don't even involve human beings! Furthermore, association is not the same thing as causation. As for the influence of adrenaline on health, that's outside my area of expertise!