Avoidance Anxiety Cycle
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
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If you struggle with avoidance anxiety you may find yourself avoiding uncomfortable situations altogether so that you don't have to experience the negative emotions associated with the event or situation. But this avoidance anxiety cycle is actually not good for us! I'm going to break down why and what you can do instead in today's video.
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This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via TH-cam, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.
☀️☀️CHAPTERS☀️☀️
0:00 What is avoidance anxiety and why does it happen?
1:23 Why is avoiding not the best thing to do?
4:58 How to break the cycle of avoidance
7:43 How EMDR can help
12:18 Be a good parent to yourself
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I love the late Dr Claire Weekes idea of practicing FLOATING through the anxiety or panic rather than FIGHTING through it. Fighting only adds more tension, whereas floating through it (letting it be there, and letting time pass) takes the terror out of it.
Ive got her book. I couldnt agree more. I think it's the best solution. Tried many things and this is the only thing that really works for me.
Yes. I’m making myself agoraphobic. Avoiding driving, avoiding walking the dog. I’m not living life anymore. What if you feel like you’ll have a panic attack?
If you feel like your going to have a panic attack, find something in the room to focus on. When you have a panic attack remember to take deep breaths and focus on that object. Eventually, find an image in your mind that makes you feel comfortable...At peace & when you have a panic attack you will be able to focus on that image. This is a long process, but I have found it helpful.
I wish you healing and pray you get your life back.❤
@@mday3821thank you for your advice & insight. I’ll try that. I need to do something, my life is getting narrower & narrower by the day.
Hi! I do have two videos on panic attacks coming out next week, so stay tuned. And panic attacks, avoidance and anticipatory anxiety are all connected. In the meantime, grounding exercises are super helpful. There are a number of videos on this on YT. Here's one of mine: th-cam.com/video/5r_79JSHvoQ/w-d-xo.html
@mday3821 I agree focusing on objects in the room can be helpful! Thank you for sharing. I often suggest to find three things that are blue, then three things that are red... (or whichever colors you decide, but I'd decide ahead of time!). Other grounding techniques can also be helpful. All the best!
@@BarbaraHeffernanthank you for sharing & I’ll look out for those videos. I appreciate everything you do.
Okay, someone has to say it: I'm glad you didn't title this "Avoiding Anxiety Avoidance."
I het light-headed with anxiety. No wonder it's too hard to get into traffic for me. I'm ok in my suburb of low traffic and no traffic lights. I'm not confident I can overcome it...been 20 years now. Also before the panic attack at traffic lights, I had actually fainted from low Iron due to coeliac disease.
I finally faced my fear of flying this Saturday just passed, 1 hour each way back and forth, terrified on the first takeoff that I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack, wanted nothing more than to get off a plane which I have no escape from, but I let go and coming back was sooo much better, now looking back it was worth the stress and extreme discomfort to be able to face a fear and come out the other side
I avoid things a lot because usually I’m going to have to talk to someone and “bother” them and I’ve already prethought how the whole conversation will go becoming more and more uncomfortable so the YAY moment happens when I don’t do it. BUT later on, the tiny fingers of even more worry creep in about avoiding whatever, so then sadness comes. I’ve pushed myself thru and felt such gratitude that I didn’t avoid it and the feeling like wow that wasn’t that bad, but it doesn’t seem to make my avoidance stop in future!?! I completely understand and could be a hermit. I like watching your videos about narcissism because I have been with one for 35 years and life is worse every year. So keep telling people to LEAVE NOW OR YOUR LIFE IS OVER. Your kids will not be ok. LEAVE !
Barbara you videos are marvelous and informative easy to understand by common folk.barbara you teach complicated things in a simple way.barbara you are helping the humanity by your expertise and knowledge of human psyche and behaviours thanks Barbara.
Wow, thank you! Happy to help.
Thank you so much for this video Barbara god bless you 🙏
i really appreciated this. i've seen a couple of your videos and they've been helpful and compassionate. thank you.
This has explained my type of anxiety in such a clear and effective way!! Thank you so much for this invaluable resource! 🥰 and especially the steps to begin to take! you are most appreciated
You are very welcome, and thank you for letting me know it was helpful! Wishing you health and healing!
I love the way you explain things so clearly and in simple language that anyone can understand. So helpful. Thanks for doing this. I have frequent anxiety about death. I’m in good health but getting on in years. Thoughts about death are becoming more frequent and worrying. Knowing that when I die I will cease to exist triggers my anxiety and depresses me as well. There’s no escaping it.
How nicely put! Your communication skills are amazing.
My question is whether the same avoidance cycle explains procrastination. Or even addictions?
I’ve had anxiety at varying levels my entire life - I would say from toddlerhood onward! The explanation of the rewarded puppy is such a clear and easy way to understand that that temporary avoidance relief really isn’t what it appears to be and we unwittingly make the situation worse. Thank you for verbalizing that so well.
Found your channel a couple days ago and will be gladly exploring all it has to offer.
I'm so pleased that analogy resonated for you! Welcome to my channel and I truly hope it is helpful for you!
Thanks for another great video Barbara!
You are so welcome!
Thanks! I love the way you present.
4:10 So can patience. I have many ways in which I'd love to be able to retrain my brain to not automatically, sight unseen expect horrific pain to avoid. My rational mind knows, my conditioned mind overrides. I've been noticing this for months but have no idea how to move from the awareness of this to fixing it.
Yes, this takes time, but it can be overcome! I have a whole series of videos on anxiety and how to help. These two in particular might be helpful:
th-cam.com/video/RFuYcIy6Vxc/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/PC9CVO7bY_M/w-d-xo.html
And, of course, sometimes psychotherapy is needed.
I wish you health and healing! Barbara
Very nice ! Thank you so much, Great modeling behavior/dialogue . . . we can all use this !
Glad it was helpful! Thank you for letting me know! 😀
Where/what is the line between avoidance, and doing it for safety?
For example, I'm a truck driver and fell into a deep anxiety, depression, and ptsd cycle. I used to be able to drive anywhere and everywhere, but now I struggle just running a consistent route that is actually easier because of the panic and being extremely oversensitized.
My struggle has been knowing when facing this is unsafe, but also I'm afraid if avoiding too much or quitting this career will be avoidance to my brain and only revalidate the issue.
Just wanted to let you know that your videos are a great source of inspiration to me. I am halv way through my studies to becoming a cbt-therapist and listening to you really deepens my understanding. Thank you so much for sharing. Best regards from Sweden 🦦💚🦦
Your explanation? NAILED IT!
Excellent thank you again. So helpful. Makes sense to go over it in your mind first, which can help better when you actually go.
Thank you, Barbara!🙂
You are so welcome!
Love your channel,and and the way you deliver the most important info.😊
❤
Barbara, I absolutely know this is true! I avoid noises. If there is a certain noise near my home, I will work out what time of the day it is most likely and schedule my day to avoiding the noise. Even though the noise is not in any way dangerous to me..... it triggers my anxiety and I don't like that anxious feeling.
Hi! I can be sensitive to noise as well... I did work with someone once who had misophonia, and we recorded some of the noises she avoided and then used them while we did EMDR. It took awhile, but it helped her a lot! I wonder what would happen if you decided not to avoid it - or even to consiously decide that every time you hear the noise you will smile or give yourself a self-hug... or jump up and down... (!)
Some things or situations are necessary to avoid, while other things or situations may be necessary to pursue or attend, even though you or one may not want to, you go or attend, because that's the mature thing to do.
So, Barbara. I have PNES. My psychologist told me to have "escape routs " so the overwhelming stress response doesn't cause a seizure. Would you call this avoiding situations or a good method to avoid accidents to myself?
Hello Barbara. I did write on one of your CPTSD videos, but this explains what I went through quite good.
So I had a boss who were a very unpleasant man who did not treat his workers well. One day he attacked me varbaly as soon as I stepped in the door and my body went into freeze respons and couldn't do anything or stand up for myself (because of past trauma)
This got worse and worse... Is this what you call CPTSD? from one prolonged event? or is this "simply" anxiaty. Please reach out because I need to know what I should work on thanx
Just realised I may be doing self talk wrong. I call myself a stupid 🤬 and tell my brain to shut up. 😬
It makes me anxious to think about seeing my husband after 8 months of separation after he abused me. Should I work through this feeling or continue to avoid him?
Avoid I reckon...unless of course he has made a recovery from drugs or alcohol which may have been his issue