Absolutely love this; everything you said is true. Many people didn’t even find out I was dating anyone until I posted my wedding photos on Instagram. A couple acquaintances were upset, but I don’t owe someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years any explanation. Keep things quiet until it’s the right time…many Judas’s out there! 👀
This was great advice and I love how you’re unapologetic about doing what’s best for you and your family. Often time s many feel guilty, however we must always do what we know is right regardless of how others will feel. Their feelings and reactions are for them to sort through not you. Best wishes to you!
This was a hard lesson I had to learn. Keep intricate details of your dating life to your self. Keep it light and fluffy. Set cute boundaries.......do not allow friends to sabotage.....your new relationships. Misery loves company and do not be fooled under the guise of friendship. Be blessed ♥
This reminds me of people waiting to announce their pregnancy until after the first trimester. Makes total sense. No one is sure about what this is and if it's worth the effort, not even the guy and girl. Your nearest and dearest may not realize they are jealous, and it's naive to ignore the possibility. You are most likely an emotional support of theirs, and they don't want to make way for another person. I felt it myself when friends got engaged. But what counts is how you respond--you're not a bad person for feeling jealous. Ultimately we have to understand that this new relationship fills a void we never could. And the better we handle the change, the more likely we'll be introduced to his friends!
You're dropping gems Chengi. Listen this thing called friendships. Don't announce your good news with friends PERIOD until its past infancy. JELOUSY from friends will sabbatage a good thing or delay it. I am living with this reality. Tell them Chengi 🙏🙏🙏
You are correct. ♥ keep certain aspects. Of your life to your self. When it comes to dating keep the details to yourself. These "friends" Don t really be your "friends." Keep it light and fluffy.
This is sooo true, but it goes with all things and not only just relationships. Some people are just ruthless and jealous and literally will be waiting for your downfall sometimes. Be careful, and watch and pray
Quite agree - for everything there is a gestational period - and sharing it with too many too soon congests you and the process - and not everyone's response will be sincerely positive. A lot of friends and family will freely give negative advice based on their world view and not yours - and many times we will trust their judgement over our own. Its not being secretive - you just need the space and time to trust your own intuition and your own judgement and to strengthen both of those muscles.
I never believed in sharing anything with family and friends. I put aside some money and time every week to speak to a therapist. Chengi is talking about comparison here and immediately I can understand what she’s talking about. I took a module about comparison and negotiation and essentially, comparison is inevitable among people of the same batch (same family tree, same law class eg) and the reason why intense comparisons are felt during thanksgiving reunions is because there’s this normal human jealousy, insecurity when we see someone we know very well do better than us, especially in the domain that we want to advance in. Chengi couldn’t have explained it better, relationships is a domain where everyone wants to excel in, and hence following this comparison principle, the more we shouldn’t trust our family and friend’s judgements.
My personal experience is that I want and have made great strides toward significant love. Many of my unhealed friends haven't. I don't align in that space of being a masculine, broken single women anymore. I have had to STOP discussing my healing, feminine, relationship journey. They literally have nothing to add but brokenness. I don't always think it's a conscious thing... but I have had to ask myself why am I seeking advice from people who have never had a healthy, successful relationship? I had to take their advice with a grain of salt,, and begin to listen to my voice, and my therapist who I see for council. No one is privy to that information anymore. It's on as needed basis.
I agree with this. I feel so blessed to find a amazing partner after dealing with toxicity for so long that I keep hush hush on my relationship with specific people who’s ideals on relationships/men are scattered.
100% I am fallen out with a girlfriend I spoke to regularly. Overtime I thought she cannot add value because she is not in alignment with what I want. She has never been married, she has never had a serious committed and healtht relationship with a man, she is in a very strong masculine energy, she questions and challenges these things when I would bring them up... as a matter of fact we have nothing in common.
Beautiful message and we’ll said. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost two years and I don’t post photos of him on my social media. If there’s any outing or trips we do I post pictures of myself or the scenery lol. I keep our pictures to myself and we show close friends or immediate family. If anyone wants to know how we’re doing they’ll have to ask me personally. They’re not getting any updates online
Thank you for this video, something occurred to me as i listened you youbtalk about Judas, some friends/people dont know that they are evil. They are limited by their perspective. They are simply operating in a way that they think is for them. That is why decernment is important.
This was timely and so on point 👍🏾... I refuse to go into 2022 with the same toxic behavior patterns. Chengi, you got me feeling so prepared and we ain't even had our one on one coaching session yet 💕
I really appreciate you calling out this topic, Chengi! I do sense a level of competition with my single friends so I don’t share much with them. In addition, my sister has proven herself to not respect boundaries in my dating life. So I’ve had to refrain from sharing many details with her, because she doesn’t know how to stay in her lane. One night last year, when I stayed out on a date with a new guy later than she thought I should, she actually drove around looking for me under the guise that she wanted to make sure I was safe. I’m old enough to take care of myself. I know what to do if I’m in trouble. We are not roommates and we both are professional women with careers and grown children. That was absolutely crazy! I’ve never done that to her and she dated LOTS of men over the years before getting married this year. So from that day forward, she knows nothing about my dating life.
Good afternoon happy Sunday! This very rich an stimulating empowering. Iam growing in becoming a high value woman swanness ...This is confimaton because Jesus said dont let your left hand no what your righthand is doing .. Iam discovering some people are not worthy especially some church folks or enlaws however discernment wisdom in these last dayz are major! Sadly many who rejecting knowledge and wisdom have lost their lives.cain spirit jealousy is operating in wounded people who dont to heal but lurking to inflicting pain on others .pastor blakes has a powerful teaching on this rich messages analyzing circle friendships. 💜💐🙏💎💜
This was very timely. Thank you for your wisdom!! What about introducing the suitor to each others parents or accountability partner/s within that first 3 months period? Is this a wise thing to do?
Very insightful message as usual. I'd like to say that perhaps many church folk might struggle with the core of this message, as it's highly encouraged within church circles to discuss the intent of a relationship with a spiritual counsellor or at least a cell group leader. I wonder what you would have to say to this, as a Christian woman yourself. Thanks for always sharing insightful messages.
Sounds controlling but if that is the community you have chosen to be a part of then you may be best served to observe their status quo or be ostracised.
@@ribaker822 I had to reply to this. I love this video and I am in support of moving in silence. God is the ultimate voice we should hear. I've asked for spiritual counsel from my pastor's wife, but I willingly went to her, and even then, it was very general. It wasn't expected or forced on to me. Many Christians take the (seek two to three witnesses in Matthew out of context--Jesus was referring to spiritual correction). In Proverbs, it does say to seek counsel....specifically: wise counsel. I also think there's a difference between seeking wise counsel and gossiping. A lot of Christians will justify gossip as "helping" and it's not. I've had this happen to me a few times with people having a committee of bad mouthing me (because the guy I was seeing at the time portrayed me in a negative way BEFORE we were even committed) and a bunch of women were ganging up on me. It happens. I've learned to not seek counsel from broken women and men, but those who have done the work and have my best interest at heart. Other words, I learned this year to Move. In. Silence. With. God. and find friends and family that ACTUALLY care for you. Hope this helps a bit. Be blessed.
Woman is a truth that has endured many ups and downs throughout history and has seen itself from being buried alive to becoming a deity. She is to value all sections of society. Looking at the history of a woman's life, it becomes clear that whenever a woman purifies her soul and psyche, she turns to the spiritual worlds, and every time she removes her conscience from lust and pretense, she becomes so great and powerful that it may even be determined. The fate of a nation's history depends on its will. A woman is very valuable. If there is no woman, the house light will be turned off. It is said that a man is the pillar of a house and a woman is the lamp of a house If there is no pillar in the house, the house will be destroyed But if there is no light in the house, even though the house is still standing, But it is no longer a place to live .. Women are always underestimated in their lives. But safe from the day when they are not There will be no men that day…
Absolutely love this; everything you said is true. Many people didn’t even find out I was dating anyone until I posted my wedding photos on Instagram. A couple acquaintances were upset, but I don’t owe someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years any explanation. Keep things quiet until it’s the right time…many Judas’s out there! 👀
💯 ❤️❤️❤️
Kimchi...that was a smart thing to do.
This was great advice and I love how you’re unapologetic about doing what’s best for you and your family. Often time s many feel guilty, however we must always do what we know is right regardless of how others will feel. Their feelings and reactions are for them to sort through not you. Best wishes to you!
That’s awesome
This was a hard lesson I had to learn. Keep intricate details of your dating life to your self. Keep it light and fluffy. Set cute boundaries.......do not allow friends to sabotage.....your new relationships. Misery loves company and do not be fooled under the guise of friendship. Be blessed ♥
Sooo sadddxx
This reminds me of people waiting to announce their pregnancy until after the first trimester. Makes total sense. No one is sure about what this is and if it's worth the effort, not even the guy and girl. Your nearest and dearest may not realize they are jealous, and it's naive to ignore the possibility. You are most likely an emotional support of theirs, and they don't want to make way for another person. I felt it myself when friends got engaged. But what counts is how you respond--you're not a bad person for feeling jealous. Ultimately we have to understand that this new relationship fills a void we never could. And the better we handle the change, the more likely we'll be introduced to his friends!
💯
Lots of wise nuggets. It is true that people want to see you doing well but never better than them.
Love this advice! You get excited and want to share but forget that everyone isn’t happy for you
Indeed
You're dropping gems Chengi. Listen this thing called friendships. Don't announce your good news with friends PERIOD until its past infancy. JELOUSY from friends will sabbatage a good thing or delay it. I am living with this reality. Tell them Chengi 🙏🙏🙏
❤️❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
You are correct. ♥ keep certain aspects. Of your life to your self. When it comes to dating keep the details to yourself. These "friends" Don t really be your "friends." Keep it light and fluffy.
This is sooo true, but it goes with all things and not only just relationships. Some people are just ruthless and jealous and literally will be waiting for your downfall sometimes. Be careful, and watch and pray
Quite agree - for everything there is a gestational period - and sharing it with too many too soon congests you and the process - and not everyone's response will be sincerely positive. A lot of friends and family will freely give negative advice based on their world view and not yours - and many times we will trust their judgement over our own. Its not being secretive - you just need the space and time to trust your own intuition and your own judgement and to strengthen both of those muscles.
Absolutely ❤️
Mama always said don’t let your right hand know what your left hand is doing!!
❤️❤️❤️
I never believed in sharing anything with family and friends. I put aside some money and time every week to speak to a therapist. Chengi is talking about comparison here and immediately I can understand what she’s talking about. I took a module about comparison and negotiation and essentially, comparison is inevitable among people of the same batch (same family tree, same law class eg) and the reason why intense comparisons are felt during thanksgiving reunions is because there’s this normal human jealousy, insecurity when we see someone we know very well do better than us, especially in the domain that we want to advance in. Chengi couldn’t have explained it better, relationships is a domain where everyone wants to excel in, and hence following this comparison principle, the more we shouldn’t trust our family and friend’s judgements.
This was golden. Im a firm believer in moving in silence.
My personal experience is that I want and have made great strides toward significant love. Many of my unhealed friends haven't. I don't align in that space of being a masculine, broken single women anymore. I have had to STOP discussing my healing, feminine, relationship journey. They literally have nothing to add but brokenness. I don't always think it's a conscious thing... but I have had to ask myself why am I seeking advice from people who have never had a healthy, successful relationship? I had to take their advice with a grain of salt,, and begin to listen to my voice, and my therapist who I see for council. No one is privy to that information anymore. It's on as needed basis.
I agree with this. I feel so blessed to find a amazing partner after dealing with toxicity for so long that I keep hush hush on my relationship with specific people who’s ideals on relationships/men are scattered.
I needed this! Thank you
100% I am fallen out with a girlfriend I spoke to regularly. Overtime I thought she cannot add value because she is not in alignment with what I want. She has never been married, she has never had a serious committed and healtht relationship with a man, she is in a very strong masculine energy, she questions and challenges these things when I would bring them up... as a matter of fact we have nothing in common.
Beautiful message and we’ll said. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost two years and I don’t post photos of him on my social media. If there’s any outing or trips we do I post pictures of myself or the scenery lol. I keep our pictures to myself and we show close friends or immediate family. If anyone wants to know how we’re doing they’ll have to ask me personally. They’re not getting any updates online
Thank you for this video, something occurred to me as i listened you youbtalk about Judas, some friends/people dont know that they are evil. They are limited by their perspective. They are simply operating in a way that they think is for them. That is why decernment is important.
💯
This was timely and so on point 👍🏾... I refuse to go into 2022 with the same toxic behavior patterns. Chengi, you got me feeling so prepared and we ain't even had our one on one coaching session yet 💕
Glad to hear it beautiful Swan ❤️❤️❤️
Siblings do it too somethings you have to keep to yourself until it is the right time
I really appreciate you calling out this topic, Chengi! I do sense a level of competition with my single friends so I don’t share much with them.
In addition, my sister has proven herself to not respect boundaries in my dating life. So I’ve had to refrain from sharing many details with her, because she doesn’t know how to stay in her lane. One night last year, when I stayed out on a date with a new guy later than she thought I should, she actually drove around looking for me under the guise that she wanted to make sure I was safe. I’m old enough to take care of myself. I know what to do if I’m in trouble. We are not roommates and we both are professional women with careers and grown children. That was absolutely crazy! I’ve never done that to her and she dated LOTS of men over the years before getting married this year. So from that day forward, she knows nothing about my dating life.
Good afternoon happy Sunday! This very rich an stimulating empowering. Iam growing in becoming a high value woman swanness ...This is confimaton because Jesus said dont let your left hand no what your righthand is doing .. Iam discovering some people are not worthy especially some church folks or enlaws however discernment wisdom in these last dayz are major! Sadly many who rejecting knowledge and wisdom have lost their lives.cain spirit jealousy is operating in wounded people who dont to heal but lurking to inflicting pain on others .pastor blakes has a powerful teaching on this rich messages analyzing circle friendships. 💜💐🙏💎💜
❤️❤️❤️you are loved Black Swan
Wow this was right on time! Thank you for this!!!!!
Thanks for talking about real feelings and emotions envy etc... Keep it up!
❤️❤️❤️
You are surely speaking the truth.
❤️❤️❤️
Great content and that color is 🔥 on you!
Thank you 🙏🏾
Thank you so much Maa Swan❤️, this is very resounding advice for us all. The delivery was on a next level as usual 💯❤️❤️❤️
I have this on loop .. wow
❤️❤️❤️
Black Swan that was sound wisdom! I'm going to do that moving forward. Thank you so much!
This is a gem. Thank you.
Thank you 🤩 ❤️❤️❤️
Yes, so 👍true! You have to be careful, even your best friend. Not everyone is happy, for your progress. It happens to me, was very detremtal.
❤❤❤❤ your hair!!!!!!🤩
Thanks for this POWERFUL message!
❤️❤️❤️🙏🏿
So are there such things as friends ?
This is helpful. Thank you, Chengi.
❤️❤️❤️
Wow a lot of wisdom here. I’m very guilty of sharing every detail. More than timely. Thank you
New subscriber here. I love your content. Your business is so relevant. Thanks for the TH-cam sharings.
Thank you ❤️❤️🌸
This is si true, l like the way how you explain it, this really inspire me.
This was very timely. Thank you for your wisdom!! What about introducing the suitor to each others parents or accountability partner/s within that first 3 months period? Is this a wise thing to do?
It’s best to let it incubate with no third parties including parents ❤️
Very unique topic 👌 nice
❤️❤️❤️
Just subscribed thank you for sharing your wisdom (Japan)
Very insightful message as usual. I'd like to say that perhaps many church folk might struggle with the core of this message, as it's highly encouraged within church circles to discuss the intent of a relationship with a spiritual counsellor or at least a cell group leader. I wonder what you would have to say to this, as a Christian woman yourself. Thanks for always sharing insightful messages.
Sounds controlling but if that is the community you have chosen to be a part of then you may be best served to observe their status quo or be ostracised.
@@blackswanrelationshipacademy thank you for that. I agree, it does sound controlling.
@@ribaker822 I had to reply to this. I love this video and I am in support of moving in silence. God is the ultimate voice we should hear. I've asked for spiritual counsel from my pastor's wife, but I willingly went to her, and even then, it was very general. It wasn't expected or forced on to me. Many Christians take the (seek two to three witnesses in Matthew out of context--Jesus was referring to spiritual correction). In Proverbs, it does say to seek counsel....specifically: wise counsel. I also think there's a difference between seeking wise counsel and gossiping. A lot of Christians will justify gossip as "helping" and it's not. I've had this happen to me a few times with people having a committee of bad mouthing me (because the guy I was seeing at the time portrayed me in a negative way BEFORE we were even committed) and a bunch of women were ganging up on me. It happens. I've learned to not seek counsel from broken women and men, but those who have done the work and have my best interest at heart. Other words, I learned this year to Move. In. Silence. With. God. and find friends and family that ACTUALLY care for you. Hope this helps a bit. Be blessed.
Woman is a truth that has endured many ups and downs throughout history and has seen itself from being buried alive to becoming a deity. She is to value all sections of society. Looking at the history of a woman's life, it becomes clear that whenever a woman purifies her soul and psyche, she turns to the spiritual worlds, and every time she removes her conscience from lust and pretense, she becomes so great and powerful that it may even be determined. The fate of a nation's history depends on its will. A woman is very valuable. If there is no woman, the house light will be turned off. It is said that a man is the pillar of a house and a woman is the lamp of a house If there is no pillar in the house, the house will be destroyed But if there is no light in the house, even though the house is still standing, But it is no longer a place to live .. Women are always underestimated in their lives. But safe from the day when they are not There will be no men that day…
So who do we talk to ? Who do we express our feelings to? Regarding the men we are dating? A coach? A therapist?
Yes
Speak to god. Ask him for guidance and wisdom
Hey Chengi, how do I become a coach I'm really interested
I agree 100%
Hate how we always go back to relationships when talking about women friendships. Women friendships shouldn’t have nothing to do with men
In a perfect world I would agree but it is the exact opposite. Women are most COMPETITIVE when men are involved. Not all but most. It’s natural
But what if the guy your friend is newly dating is suspicious?
You can share your concerns
💯
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Black Swan that was sound wisdom! I'm going to do that moving forward. Thank you so much!
Black Swan that was sound wisdom! I'm going to do that moving forward. Thank you so much!
Black Swan that was sound wisdom! I'm going to do that moving forward. Thank you so much!