5 Things I Permanently Changed After Living Outside The US
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ย. 2022
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In this episode, Chelsea dives into all the things she changed her mind on after living out of the country for a few years in her early 20s.
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I am so sick of the disclaimers that Americans have to give about loving America when they speak about other countries doing things better. God forbid you say that other countries have found solutions to basic problems and do things better than America. These are FACTS! I am an American living overseas, and my life is MUCH BETTER outside of the US. I have NO intentions of coming back. I am so sick of American fragility and ego. It is not serving us in our home country. This lie that we are the greatest in the world stops us from learning from other cultures and living a much better life.
So defensive. Why can't Americans accept that others might do something better and an American vlogger does not have to prove their American creds. Boring!
Not an American but have family who are, I love the states, but there's a couple of really big things they got wrong. As a disabled woman with a postgraduate degree I could not afford to be alive in the USA at the moment.
I think you missed the point of her saying that. If you want to listen to people apologetically trashing the US, there are plenty of places online for you to go. You don't like America, SHE DOES. I have to assume that she said that to differentiate this video from everyone else online trashing the US. In this video she is observing a handful of the problems that American society has, that other cultures don't. I don't think any country is perfect, so people are allowed to like a country but also acknowledge its flaws (and use them to make positive changes to their life).
Agree it is odd I am Australian and we used to be less jingoistic. It is healthy to see things from other nations perspective
👏👏👏👏👏. I worked in US with my company a few years and while there are positives like anything the negatives can not be overlooked. The US really does need to take a good look at itself and not deny the reflection it sees. UK needs to do the same. Living in past disillusion while ignoring g what's glaringly obvious. Nations always rot from within in their decline.
1) Feast and famine culture.
2) Car culture.
3) Community V/S individual dichotomy.
4) Living in small spaces.
5) Fear of ageing as a woman.
These videos definitely need chapters
I am still afraid of aging as a woman. I am over 40, no kids, never married and have not had a relationship in over 3 years. It stinks because I was never the stereotypical party animal or career addicted woman. Sure, I had and have goals :) but was always open to marriage and a family No matter what side of the political aisle or social circle I seek; I am looked down on.
Since things have calmed down since lockdown maybe I have to start traveling again and get a fresh perspective on myself and the world?
Thanks!
@@AdorableOracle get out there. Enjoy your life: it belongs to your kids or your spouse. You don't have those so more life for you!
Same. But we have to live our lives for us. Everyone is not going to have the same one. Nothing wrong with not having a life that includes those things. Most important thing is to be happy with you and the skin you’re in!
I will contiue to say; the happiest I was was living in a dorm on my college compus. Being in a walkable community near all my friends was something I am super nostalgic about.
This is amazing. I would add that those huge houses aren’t “castles.” They’re giant storage pods that one day will need to be cleared out, and the majority of that stuff is likely to end up in a landfill.
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Ooft, that really puts it into perspective
I was actually just thinking about this the other day. A friend of mine just had to clean out their grandmas house because she passed and of course they kept some things but a lot of it was given away or tossed. Really put into perspective how much of our lives are full of items that although loved, won’t live past us if they aren’t loved legacy pieces that have value to others.
So. Much. This.
Adding a bit more to this conversation: go to any antique shop, thrift store, secondhand furniture store, etc., and take a look at the huge old dark pieces of furniture that nobody wants any more. It has made me think very critically about what I buy; as a consequence, the furniture I own is pretty minimalist. I'm still using some pieces from two prior apartments. Another thing I sometimes see people do is buying furniture (especially dressers and cabinets) to store things instead of decluttering and getting rid of excess stuff so that they don't need that new furniture.
I lived in Paris for 8 months and it completely rocked my ideas about beauty and health. I stopped straightening my curly hair and wore less or no makeup. I love how French women are confident in who they are and their beauty radiates from the inside. There is no one ideal woman. There are beautiful women everywhere there. Wish we, as Americans, could see our innate beauty and not be obsessed with looking a certain way or having procedures to create a certain look.
This isn't only happening in France, when I travel to Italy, Sweden, or England all the women wear far less makeup than their counterparts in America.
I was extremely lucky to attend college in Boston, and fell in love with the city's walkability and excellent public transit. I never had a car for the six years I lived there. Then I moved to Charlotte, NC, a car-centric city with no pedestrian infrastructure to speak of. I lived close to shops and restaurants, but just crossing the street to get there was a hazard. Eventually I decided to move back to New England to another city that, like Boston, was developed before the onset of the automobile. I live in a 250 square foot studio apartment and I can conduct all my daily errands on foot. I can walk to the Amtrak station and from there, go anywhere I want. It's absolute bliss. As a single person who loves having access to arts, culture, and city life, I wish more people in the US had the option to live this way.
May I ask where you are now?
ught this sounds amazing, i'm happy for you!
I work in Boston and can walk to a commuter rail station from where I live. My town is very walkable, so I can do a lot of errands on foot. My stress levels are much lower than people I know who go everywhere by car. I have a car but use it mainly for errands and fun things. It makes such a huge difference.
@@happycommuter3523 May I ask what área this is? My husband and I are looking to relocate
Amy, may I ask what town you're living in currently?
I never thought of the relationship between disconnection with other people and car culture. That makes so much sense it’s crazy we don’t talk about it more
Check out Not Just Bikes, he has plenty of videos covering transportation. I learned a lot there.
Someone’s substack or blog I read recently, I forget whose, framed it as: cars are the only thing that could make people desire fewer neighbors. You don’t wish there were less people in your community when you’re out for a walk.
There are all kinds of studies about road rage and how the sociopathy that happens when you get behind the wheel doesn’t happen when you can see other people’s faces, but when you consider how much of their lives a lot of Americans have to spend driving, that sociopathy can sink in and become part of their default worldview. And when you drive so much that you have frequent encounters with the jerks or people driving dangerously, you start to assume that most of your neighbors are hostile or are people you don’t want to meet. Whereas if you go for a walk in any city and end up in a random encounter either saying a few words to or helping a stranger, you start to assume by default that most people around you are pretty nice.
@@a.z.p. I noticed this after having to walk to the grocery store instead of driving there. I actually talked to a stranger and felt pretty good and relaxed. Behind the wheel is another story
some professionals believe binge eating disorder may be the most common type of ED in the US. And I don't think that comes out of a vacuum. We definitely have a binge/restrict mindset here and its not good for our health, finances, etc
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I adore Savannah, Georgia for a number of reasons but one of the big ones is its walkability and public space. The city is built on a grid and has about 12 town squares. Each square is basically a public gathering space with grass, trees, and benches. Plus the grid means lots of short roads so cars can't move very fast. Visiting made me realize how rare it is to find such a pedestrian-friendly city in America. Most cities are built for cars more than people.
I also lived in France for a few years in my 20s and am bilingual. The main thing I learned was living a more relaxed enjoyable lifestyle and eating and living more moderately overall for health.
Less stress!
I’m French and wanted to point out how right you are about the prevalence of extreme diet culture in France, especially in Paris..
be warned : in French cities, if you are overweight, you will be deemed a social outcast. it’s really scary and women have no choice but to abide by it, thus perpetuating the cycle.
There's so much here. One of the most frustrating things is listening to how bad car culture is for us. Honestly, 90% of Americans have no choice. Jobs are where they are. Affordable living is where it is. Dual income couples with children where you work constantly and scramble every time school is out, leaves very little time to take a train 3 hours a day to work and back. The American way of living isn't really a choice. Most of us are just victims of it.
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I agree that avoiding car culture isn't always an option for many, especially in rural parts of the country. Having public transportation isn't a viable option for many communities that are sparsely populated (think of places with population densities of less than one person per square mile). Walking everywhere is definitely not an option in these areas. However, you don't lose a connection with others living in such small communities. It's hard not to know your neighbors! I think it's easy to forget how diverse the US is and that what can work in some places is out of the question in others.
@@blondiemanda2 While that's all true, let's please be cognizant of industry and employment and the restrictions they impose on where we all live. I live in the bay area of California where it's REALLY difficult to afford living close to work and very difficult to get around. But this is where my and my partner's highly specialized field of work is. It's either this or 2 other cities similar in price and difficulty. We have to stop perpetuating the illusion that individuals are responsible for circumstances created by systems and history and thereby stop guilting and blaming people. Nobody wants to sit in traffic and be cut off from their neighbors, it's something we tolerate so we can make a living in most cases.
@@limo5724 You are absolutely right and I'm glad you mentioned how systems and history affect our lives today. How many communities were developed, especially on the West Coast, don't lend themselves to easily disconnecting from having to drive everywhere. However, I do think you and I made a similar point when reacting to this video. We both argued that in many places across America you need to have a car to make a living and that car ownership wasn't a choice because we look down on public transportation, as it seemed to be for Chelsea. I also don't think that owning a car to have reliable transportation cuts us off from our communities. The Bay Area is a great example of this. There are a lot of opportunities to engage with your neighbors through events and public spaces. It seems a little short sighted and demonizing to say that because you have to drive a car, you aren't as connected with your community. Honestly, I have to give you major props for driving in the Bay Area especially after working all day! That traffic is no joke!!
I've been living in Belgium for almost a year now. Came home to the US for Christmas. The things I missed while I was in Beligum were: my family, chatty waiters and Mexican food. That's it. I've only been in the US for two weeks but I miss the architecture, being able to walk everywhere, the food, hearing multiple languages and not having to drive. I have mixed thoughts on moving to Europe permanently as I am very close to my family but the US has so far to go
I've been living in Japan for over 7 years now. I love the walkability in this country. The whole country is connected via train lines and busses. It is so amazing. I love how easy it is to access public transport. I live a 5 minute walk away from a train station and use my bicycle to go anywhere I need.
I made very similar life and mindset adjustments after studying, volunteering, and working in Spain and Poland. For example, when I moved back to the US from Europe I only considered cities with strong public transportation systems. I ended up moving to Washington, DC and didn't own a car for the first 3 to 4 years I lived there (and only got one eventually because friends who were moving overseas wanted to give me their old car.)
When I left DC I prioritized landing in a bikeable place, so now I live in a bikeable beach town next to a mid-size city with decent cycling infrastructure in Florida and I don't drive very often. I also wanted to find a place I would feel more compelled to spend time outside, which I definitely do. I intentionally made decisions to design these elements into my life. (granted I'm single and don't have kids so I didn't have to factor anyone else's wishes into my decision making)
The beauty of these tweaks and shifts is that generally speaking they increase our quality of life (making us physically and mentally healthier, happier, and less isolated). Plus, they often save us money, and are better for the planet.
May I ask you what town in FLA. I’m a life ling non driver. Looking for a beach town in FLA I can get around in sans car. Thats near bigger city amenities , too TY ! Liz
@@lizzabbott sure, I live in Gulfport, FL and the larger city nearby is St. Petersburg. I should note that I still have a car (but use it very infrequently).
This made me laugh because when I go on a walk during my work break, you would think I was running a marathon. People are impressed/shocked/confused 😅 like why would you walk randomly 😂 it’s a mess
For real! Don’t even tell them you walked/biked to work
I tell my coworkers that I walk around my neighborhood during breaks when I WFH and you would think that I cured a disease. They are so impressed 😅😂
OMG, I walk to work occassionally and the number of peoole stopping to offering me a ride (it's on a military base overseas) is hilarious.
I married a German and we have been living outside the US since 2020 (first in Norway, and now in Germany). I agree with so much of this! I am so much happier living in Europe than I ever was living in America. My lifestyle outside of America is so much healthier - less consumption, more exercise, a general feeling of security because I'm not worried about affording medical bills. But I actually think that America has a better sense of community and generosity than Germany and Norway, at least. Because the state cares for so much in these countries, I feel like I see less incentive for anyone to help each other out. I wouldn't change it, because it's better to have the certainty of the state than the whims of your neighbor. But I do miss general charity and generosity a bit. (Edit to be clear: I grew up in a midwestern inner city. This sense of community is probably different or non-existent in the suburbs)
I always noticed in London and Paris the energy expended by everyone just getting around. Stairs up and down to the Metro, walking to the markets, restaurants and the office. No wonder people appear more fit than we do here in LA, the ultimate in car cUlture. Here it takes a ten minute drive to get to the gym. SMH. And food in France seems to emphasize freshness rather than our reliance on factory-made goodies. 🌺
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Having lived in the US I can attest most foods there would never pas an EU or UK foods standards. And foods costsote in the US I noticed but the quality and standards are much lower.
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Nyc is similar... people stay fit just commuting and shopping
yes and you get out at your metro or tube stop, and you almost have to walk through the high street or markets to get to your home. That not only expends energy, but also creates a buzz or seeing people and life. i loved it.
The whole bicycling hit me hard….as a child teenager I grew up using my bike as a primary source of transportation even after having my drivers license (point of reference suburban Chicago). For example in High school I could easily ride my bike to school 5 miles away and not worry about a car running me down, these days I can barely ride outside of my neighborhood without worrying about getting run over. Heck I’ve almost been run over just walking across the street to the Walgreens…despite following the lights etc. I now have two bicycles I am afraid to ride 🙄
YES YES YES regarding the Puritan roots of America's extreme mindset and binge/purge issues. It is SUCH a psychological root that I wish more secular Americans were aware of the history; I drank alcohol first in Buenos Aires, Argentina, and am SO glad. The only people I saw get trashed were foreigners, mostly Americans 😞. I think it has helped me form a more healthy relationship with alcohol.
Girl u preaching so true I realized I don't want a large home like the cleaning alone turns me off. I am from Jamaica and having these grand houses is a major thing due our family structure but for me a two bedroom is fine
The cleaning!
Every time a friend mentions wanting a big living space all I think about is time needed to clean.
Happiest spot for me was living in the smallest room in a two story house with roommates. Less than an hour to keep things tidy and clean. So much of my time goes to keeping up with repairs and cleaning in a larger house. I hate it so much lol.
Voted for a mayor in my city solely because she advocates for bike lanes and public transport lol. I’m sick of driving but have no choice!! I can’t afford nyc and rats scare me 😭
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The binge drinking thing is TOTALLY true. When I spent a year abroad in England it would have been seen as profoundly embarrassing and out of the norm for a student to drink to the point of sickness or blackout. Whereas back at my home university in the states it was almost a badge of honor. Such a stark difference!
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Wow, that's surprising! Where I'm from, the English are thought of as heavy and irresponsible drinkers, though maybe that's just tourists acting out.
It's not that they aren't heavy drinkers! It just doesn't tend to manifest itself the same way: namely the drive, especially among younger folks, to drink as much as possible as fast as possible to be drunk as soon as possible. Certainly normal to get drunk. Not normal to pass out or get sick from it.
I been in Switzerland for the last 2 years and it's a very similar experience. One of the most pronounced ways community is seen differently is in the kinds of things that get advertised. I'm used to seeing products and sales and just straight up mindless consumerism. There is certainly some of that around here, especially when it comes to true luxury products (which I can't afford anyway) or essentials (like supermarket or insurance deals). But most of the ads are for community events (like neighborhood parties), cultural activities (like community concerts), or spaces for intellectual stimulation (like public debates and lectures).
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Yes! Agree with also of this based on my time living in Spain. I found when it came to both diet and exercise, people were much less restrictive or prescriptive about going to the gym, following a specific diet regimen to lose weight. Instead, it was about everything in moderation. Generally eating fresh, but not always. Going on long walks, hikes, and bike rides, but also leaving time to relax in the afternoons.
Also, I found in both Spain as well as my time in South Korea, that when eating out, people rarely had a large plate to themselves. Instead, it was about ordering lots of small dishes for the whole table, and eating over the course of many hours, while the main focus was conversation, rather than shoveling a meal down. I also loved how children ate real food, and would often bring scooters along to dinner, so once they got bored, they had other things to keep them occupied.
Side note, forever fearful of purchasing a car because it just seems lonely. Even if I'm not chatting it up with every single person on the bus or train, I'm enjoy the general energy of being around people and feeling a part of the larger community.
In addition to prioritizing society over the individual I also noticed while living in Europe that as an American I concentrated more on the present. Our lack of foresight explains so much about America's consumption habits as well as our country's lack of a social safety net.
"Feeling like Belle everyday..." Priceless. I live in Baltimore and love being part of a community.
I will say that if someone with a digestive condition who's married to someone with a digestive condition, I will never live in a building with less than two bathrooms
Yes, and nobody should ever feel shamed for making a housing decision based on their personal health situation. I grew up in an oddly laid out house with 5 people and only one bathroom. It was pretty miserable, and privacy was basically nonexistent.
i lived in spain for 3 years so could relate to so much of this!!!! one thing that changed for me was makeup culture. i mean it could have also been related to me being in my early 20s but i alwyas felt a need to have so much eye makeup on (never have worn face makeup besides spot concealer if necessary bc i hate the feeling of having something on my face lol) but living in spain i noticed most women rarely have on a lot of makeup except for special occasions and personally it started not feeling necessary to me like it used to. i also value good homecooked meals more. i feel like in spain i learned the art of sharing a delicious often simple meal with good wine and good company. so earthy and holy ❤
I am glad you got something positive out of my country. Have a great life!
for me as a german it was a shock to learn that american women put on so much make-up. i only knew it from the women from eastern europe who, due to the bad economic situation, can't get a job if they don't go to work in short skirts. cultures where only single women find work so that the boss can look at their neckline! women who emigrate to us and make men happy here for money. for me, this make-up culture is an indictment of poverty. it's really hard for me to believe women that they put on heavy makeup for fun. there are too many cultures with compulsion for that.
I 100% understand being happier living with less space And therefore, stuff in it. My house is 1150 square feet in a small town and I constantly crave living in our seasonal bare-bones cabin that is 15kms to the nearest grocery store and a third of the size.
My husband and kids dont share my contentment with escaping so I keep their home as comfortable as I can until we can move back into mine in the spring.
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we are a family of 5 living near Boston, and we have about 236 square feet of living space per family member. It's tight, but I support small spaces every time!
1,000 sq ft apartment with 4 floors in the building (so 250 sq ft of actual earth being used by this family). Now divide that by 3 for this units total occupants. Small living is amazing. Less chores, less cost, less furniture/tech to maintain. Plus the walkable neighborhood. I've done the Paris thing in D.C.
Living outside the US is really valuable. We’re often such a bubble, and there is much to learn from other cultures
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I feel like you’re finding your true purpose as a philosopher and sociologist and I absolutely love it
There's a lot of eating disorders in France. I had a teacher who used to be/may still be anorexic. She was in her 60s maybe? And VERY thin
I don’t think anyone is saying that there isn’t eating disorders in France. It’s the culture of “binging” that’s being criticized here. The “if you drink, drink to the max. If you have meat, eat a whole cow. If you buy a car, it must weight 2 tonnes” - mentality. *That* is very American (as a Spanish person, we have the same with food here)
Yes, we need better public transportation. I live in a suburb of Washington DC and we only have decent public transportation to get into DC, but it's nearly impossible to go anywhere else. I live & work off a major road, but there is not a bus that runs up & down that road.
I lived in Denver before and busses there only went to downtown Denver. It was hard to go anywhere else.
People who plan bus routs need to consider how people go shopping and that people want to go to other places than just the center of the biggest city.
“Not Just Bikes” on TH-cam has great videos of you want to geek out on urbanism and public transport
It makes complete sense for you to have moved to NYC after your stay in Paris. Many of the lessons you learned there after living in suburbia are the same ones I've learned in New York.
The whole francophilic *volet* is one of the cool things about Chelsea. She should do normal TFD videos in French.
Absolutely one of my favorite of all your videos! This validates much of my life view and choices -- things my family has vilified me for since I was young.
We literally spend money to go to a gym to get our necessary physical activity instead of movement being built into our everyday lifestyle. I really wish that could change. I lived abroad for a year and a half and, while I did sometimes miss my car because buses were really crowded during tourist season, I also now miss the hustle and bustle of walking around, grabbing food, meeting up with friends, or taking the bus to the beach.
Having lived in the UK for 10 years, and grown up in Poland/Austria - both heavy-drinking countries - I still find it shocking how people drink (and eat). Nothing compares with the way Brits binge drink. 🙄🤮🤮🤮
As a native Brit who is teetotal - I totally agree with your comment (and emojis! Lol)
Some people genuinely meet the criteria for functioning alcoholics. It's actually kind of terrifying when you consider it's an addiction if you can't go a month without alcohol.
This 100%
Same here. People think you're weird just because you don't want to drink. Then they keep trying to get you to drink at gatherings.
I bought a smaller condo which is 1050sq ft when my friends were buying large split level homes. Now 6 years later most of them only use the upstairs and the downstairs which has a second living space and in some cases additional bedrooms go largely unused and in some cases mostly unfurnished and is simply a storage space that they pay to heat.
My mortgage is less than $700/m and I never have to host family from out of town since we only have two bedrooms, mine and my son's, and one bathroom. Having less can truly be a great investment.
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Here in Miami that'd defly cost $2500.
such a stellar video! Definitely looking to create a life that’s geared more toward community and minimalism. Thanks for sharing at the exact time when I needed a push. ❤️❤️❤️
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omg that last point!
I love the honesty in your video!
I wish I lived in a walkable city, but I don't. Also don't have a lot of free time to account for a 2 hour travel time vs 20 min. I didn't have a bike growing up so the 1 time I tried to cycle in a walkable city on vacation it was humiliating, frightening as I almost cycled into traffic and I got injured.
However, I loved taking the bus in that city. It came every 2-5min, like a dream.
‘’Courage taught me no matter how bad a crisis gets ... any sound investment will eventually pay off."
Making it out at a young age is quite difficult. I started a side hustle at 17, saved up and made some good investments. l'm 28,live on my own and having a good life for myself. Big ups to you and everyone out there trying
Sounds like plan, how do you put money to work?
@@steceymorgan814 Yes it sure is. I put in money in investments and get profits. That 's how I make more money without working. This does not sound new to you right ?
@@ibrahimfaizan6047 Thanks for replying me, I've heard so many people talk about investment but none had said how to do it right.
Am hoping on you can explain more on how you make extra income from investments
I don't aspire to have a big space, I aspire to have ENOUGH space. I just want to have enough room for the things that matter most to me and my partner and enough storage for things one needs to have.
Does anyone really want to spend time and money cleaning, maintaining and heating those extra rooms without any particular function?
This is a very well presented and thought-provoking video. I consider myself fortunate to have come across it and this TH-cam channel.
So true about the car culture like I find it way cheap then owning one car is convenient but it's expensive
Really enjoyed this video, thank you for posting Chelsea and TFD! 😄🙏🏼
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Loved this one! And I really enjoyed the bleeping exclamations!
True! A lot of this could also be said about being in a suburb vs big city
Chelsea! Je t'aime! Ta chaine tes conseils tout! C'est trop bon ce que tu fais pour nous aider avec nos finances et tout! Moi mon entreprise c'est l'enseignement de la langue française aux adultes SURTOUT en Amérique du Nord. IT'D BE A DREAM TO MEET YOU!!!
I am also part of the early adult libertarian to leftist pipeline!
What does that even mean??
Me too! God I was so dumb lol
@@SR-mv2mf the pipeline is basically referring to stages of development. When Chelsea talked about how she was libertarian in her early adulthood and later developed more leftist philosophy, I recognized that I and several of my peers also had this kind of development. Does that help?
@@TheMrsarahanne90 not dumb! We know better now and do better (hopefully)!
Me too!!!! I honestly thought I was the only one with this little trove of extremely cringey autobiographical memories.
De tout avec modération ;-) I agree with you. Also, there is so much freedom in walking and taking public transportation -in Paris at least where there is a lot! I now live in Silicon Valley and I wish there was as much. There is a bus next to our home but one every 30 minutes ...
WOW thank you!!! Love love love.
The pressure to be thin in France is related to the need to eat well and not self-indulge.
Plus to eat fresh food and cook from scratch.
The French like to look their best, but not fanatically.
great video, Chelsea! Really made me think about the things we value.
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I'm glad Jason Cao premised the findings of his study with "good" public transit because the words "soul sucking commute" come to mind when I think of the variety of transit options available near me
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What that study missed is that homes today cost $200+ per sqft. The cost per square foot has doubled and the size has doubled resulting in homes costing 4x what they used to and wages are not keeping up.
Fortunately, more and more cities are becoming tiny home friendly so you can build a house for yourself 1000sqft or less. But, that takes cash and is out of reach for the people who can only afford a small home. 1000 sqft at $200/sqft is 200,000 which is still not affordable. Boxable is taking the McDonald's approach to housing but they're lagging far behind demand right now. I paid $100,000 for a 1000sqft condo in 2016 that will now sell for $250,000 if I wanted to. I'm keeping it at an affordable rental as long as I can.
And I will never give up having two bathrooms. They don't need to be full baths, but two toilets in a house isn't optional. They could simplify by having one bathroom with two stalls separated by a 6in wall. You can wait for a shower or bath, but not to relieve yourself.
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From my travels overseas it helped me see that good and bad of the United States. It definitely changes your mindset and views. I would advise everyone to travel abroad to get perspective.
I’d love better public transit where I live (socal). As it is, there’s such a huge influx of cars that biking has become particularly dangerous. Even city planners I worked with (who already touted safety for cyclists) have been hit by cars here! So yeah, won’t be taking my kids on the bike rides that I took as a kid.
Unfortunately I can never get behind the living in small spaces thing; I just moved from a cramped 820 sq ft apartment I share with 2 people to a 1000 sq ft one that’s way roomier and much better for me and my roommates. Obviously I don’t want a giant mansion but I think a decent sized one isn’t too much to ask
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A lot depends on layout, ceiling height, and storage space. My condo is 770 square feet, but very oddly laid out. It would be difficult for two people to live here and have any privacy. OTOH, it feels more spacious than it really is because of the high ceilings, windows, and good natural daylight.
I mean, sharing 820 sf with 2 people would be considered cramped by a lot of people in various countries
@@happycommuter3523 yeah also I’d imagine a shorter or smaller person could live in a tiny home way easier than a taller person lmao.
I think to be fair a paradigm shift on cars depends on infrastructure australia also has a massive car culture. I don’t use a car as I have epilepsy and can’t drive medically I’m very fortunate to live in a city. But if you live in a working class suburb in any Australian city you need a car
I wish I didn’t need a car. Unfortunately living in Arizona we are very car dependent. The areas that could be considered walkable are so gentrified that it is cost prohibitive.
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Yeah, car culture in North America is more linked to bad infrastructure and urban sprawl. The U.S. and Canada are WAY larger than all European countries.
so much with the walking lifestyle!! cannot recommend it enough! especially vs. the loneliness of suburban lifestyle - like its far to go where your friends are, being in your car and not interacting with people, having a bigger living space and needing to care for it! all taking away from things like walking to the store and talking to the neighbours and so on.
I got very caught up in the idea during 2022, that my family should be in a bigger house and that I needed to live in the suburbs in order to feel successful. I was worried about my kids being embarrassed to have friends over to our smaller home in the city, some would call “rough” but it’s not at all. I am so thankful that I didn’t take the bait and put my family in those golden handcuffs. My family of six lives in a 2400 square-foot, hundred year-old home in the middle of the city, we are able to walk many places, and while there is still a lot of traffic (because of terrible city planning), we generally have a small, close community of homes that aren’t too big in an area that values biking and walking and shorter commutes. Thanks for validating those of us Americans who try to live differently!
I was an exchange student in North Carolina 13 years ago. If I had to do some shopping, I had no qualms about taking the bus from campus to the shopping center. Then I discovered I was often the only white person on the bus. Also, when I waited at the bus stop, passengers in passing cars stared at me😂 I happily waved... for shits and giggles😆
You were livin' bruh😂😂
I highly recommend Maintenance Phase's episode on Why French Women Don't Get Fat. Spoiler alert: that book is an eating disorder manual.
Be careful w/ these ads - what it doesn’t tell you is that If you refinance your federal student loans, you can risk getting your loans forgiven. Also, federal pause on student loan repayment has been extended into mid-next year. Love TFD but these ads lead people astray… a little disappointed in TFD here.
As far as Americans taking up more space with our homes, I wonder how that correlates with lack of free or affordable nice public places to spend our time. My small suburban Northern city has a few parks and a library but that's it
I was wondering the same thing. I just moved from a bustling city to a rural town where I could afford and bought larger (than my apartment) home. I did so with the intention of working from home, entertaining, hosting out of town loved ones and my grown children when they visit and to still have a whole room dedicated to a hobby. Also this little town doesn’t have very much public space, most of the parks are private or member only and restaurants are few- mainly greasy spoons. And it’s rainy and chilly most of the year. Even though the pandemic stalled most social interactions I’m very happy to have the extra space.
I grew up in a capital city where I walked and took bus everywhere (being a minor). Later I lived in London and west Europe for 6 months when I felt like I was back to my childhood city. Living in CA I depend on car and live like a hermit (not that there’s something wrong with it).
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Eat till you burst on vacation/ buffet then come home and buckle down on a diet. Spend like there's no tomorrow, then go on a no buy year
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You can talk about community all day but the cultural differences in community vs individual are shaped by family. Family connection, kids being expected & taught how to be decent people (personal responsibility) and real support from friends & family is how they can be "less selfish" in their laws/gov.
In my city, Portland OR has shown me in our last 2+year experiment, if you give a bunch of strangers (who don't know/have/or care about reciprocal relationships) resources, no rules & pretend like proximity & space= community, you don't get a better situation you get a downward spiral because what some people are lacking IS personal responsibility & real reciprocal relationships, not gov support & artificial "community".
That being said, I do think a person who can and wants to be part of a community is worse off because of the "just do your own thing alone all the time and get therapy instead of relationships". It's generally healthy for people to be in and build community, but you also can't pretend like people who don't want to be part of a community will magically be better off by becoming dependent on others, especially when those doing the supporting cannot have a say in how it happens.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. Seattle has thrown billions at the homeless problem, I was a naive proponent at first. But over the past decade I’ve seen a vibrant gritty city descend into chaos and blight. Many people these programs are intended to help don’t have a sense of personal responsibility to any one or any community. Also just as important, many charities claiming to help the needy and disenfranchised are in fact robbing city coffers blind- millions in funding only to hand out stale brown paper lunches and Walmart sleeping bags. It’s such a mess.
Merci Chelsea ! I watch you from France !
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My philosophy is that if you have rooms/spaces you don’t walk through/use on a daily basis it’s too much space.
Beautifully articulated ❤Bingo!
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I got my license and car last year as a 31 year old. I moved to an area that now requires a car, and I will say I much prefer public transportation.
I used to sometimes get weird looks or remarks as an adult without a license, let alone a car. Retrospectively I just don’t understand the American glamorization of driving a car when it just feels like a stress and money pit.
How often do you hear people talk about how much they love their cars and driving versus those who have something to complain about?
I‘m European and I really love my car and hate public transport. 😂 But granted: you can go by public transport almost anywhere you want, so if you want to/have to use it, that‘s really nice and easy to do.
Yes I lived in Tokyo for 4 years and having to walk/take public transport sometimes was just way too much stress for me. I’m exhausted from work, it’s humid AF outside, I just want to get home but I have to stand on a crowded train for over an hour… Although I’m grateful for the option, it was too much.
FWIW, I find your libertarian past so unbelievably refreshing! So many people think of their ideas, especially political ideas, as being some fundamental part of their identity, and I think that's just so sad. If we posture ourselves in a way that considering new information is threatening to our identity we can never learn anything, let alone do better. I think it's great that you had shitty ideas before! I did too! Everyone has! That we can learn is kind of what makes humans awesome!
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the podcast maintenance phase also spoke about the French women don't get fat myth
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DLing this very minute. Love MP.
My husband and I have lived in the UK for a decade now, and while it's not at all a like for like comparison...we have no plans to move back to the US. A lot of the benefits of our experience comes from living in a major urban centre like London, as opposed to an island in the Hebrides or something, but I cannot envision how we would have a similar quality of life in most of the States. Lots of Chelsea's experience resonates, but the evolution of perspective on the role of community and collective responsibility really hit hard. This is one of the greatest sources of dissonance with my american family as they are all highly libertarian (at least in theory, I have commentary on their own failings in practice), and are genuinely baffled by a lot of our choices as a result.
8:00 That is only really available in New York and a few other big cities. Unlike Europe, where public transit seems to grow wild. In the USA, transportation is the second largest expense category. only housing uses up more money.
How did you get France's permission to move in, and how else could someone else do it if your way in was something that wouldn't apply to other people? (I once found Canada's immigration website & read what I needed there, but I'm not yet good enough at French to find & navigate French websites.)
I just realized you're the first woman I've seen talking about finance I've seen in years of youtube pushing finance videos on me. I'd get them a lot because I'm disabled and have had to do a lot of work/housing/how to make money research and I never noticed it was all men until now.
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I can just imagine you going around like Belle (who is French) dancing your way to the boucher, and the boulanger patissier, and the libraries in Paris.
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As Tennessee Williams almost wrote "we are all dependent on the kindness of strangers" (Blanche last line in Streetcar Named Desire)
Appreciate the comment there.
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I constantly wish we had decent mass transit and a walkable built environment around here. I love when I visit cities with good infrastructure.
I’m also another one of your viewers who is an American who spent several years in France. I think to expand on the feast and famine phenomenon, something I noticed while living in France is that Americans are quite extreme/over-the-top/all-or-nothing generally, from fashion choices to celebrations to political views to consumer habits and more. Something I learned to embrace while living in France is more ambiguity and space for dialogue.
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Damn I thought we were going to get post Election Day content this week, but they must be busy with all the end of the year events TFD is planning so understandable. Here is hoping for next week.
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I live in the suburbs I can’t rice a bike anywhere should everyone just move to the cities? Not everyone can afford to live in NYC.
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I think nobody should feel pressured to move anywhere else or live by unaffordable life standards. Local politics should prioritise changes in infrastructure that can offer a safer, more sustainable way of living (one simple example would be feeling safe to WALK on sidewalks that don't suddenly stop!)
Also, not everyone wants to live in a city period! I want to be able to live sustainably in a suburb not crowded together in a city
I’m so late to this discussion but I could not agree more with this video. I physically am like yelling in support as I watch this, because this is how I’ve felt about so much through my whole life. We assign moral virtue to restricting and depriving ourselves of things, are hyperfixated on perfect purity and cleanliness, and see any derivation from that on ourselves or others as being a moral failure to loathe. And I wish so badly that I could give up my car. In Canada, major cities are unbelievably expensive to live in (Toronto and Vancouver in particular) and to even be near-ish to these cities, the transit options are subpar, on a micro and macro level. Like if I wanted to get to the airport, I would have to take 3 buses, a subway, and a train, and I just don’t have the time in life to spend 5x the amount in transit than I already do. Virtually nothing is walkable beyond just going to the corner store or the park. And that’s fine in most cases, but my friends all live 30+ min driving away, and that’s considered nearby here! Everything is so spread out… it’s all such a massive challenge and I’m really trying to figure out how to navigate it to make some better choices. I have a syndrome that affects my balance so I can’t ride a bike on the roads safely, which cuts out that option 😢
It's interesting to me that you perceive Europe of not having a car culture. They have one just as powerful as the US. The bigger difference between almost all of Europe and the US is when cities and towns were founded and developed. Much of Europe existed as permanent structures prior to cars ever existing, whereas the US is built largely after the car. The cities that were VERY developed prior have great public transportation- like most large east coast cities and Chicago. And that has also lead to the train development- areas that were very developed 50 years before cars still have a great train system connecting them.
The US lead all of Europe in terms of dealing with the worst of the worst car effects- crash safety and emissions. In recent years, the EU massively reacted to the VW scandal to finally notice that the rules favoring diesels were really bad for people.
Let alone the sport of just going out and driving, or driving a caravan to go camping, or dealing with traffic- it's been very recent that major cities have restricted car movement within them.
I appreciate the distaste for cars- I really do. But having seen much of Europe through the eyes of a car enthusiast, the entire EU is not that much different than the US.
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Pure facts nothing irritates my soul more than being ashamed about my poor eating choices when I usually sleep for 5 hours or less a day
What’s crazy is that you have to preface your video with such a social ego comforting statement. You shouldn’t have to do that sh*t. Great info as usual.
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This! It's because of American fragility and ego. They will be at your door with pitchforks if you point out that America is not the "greatest country in the world" and that other countries do things better. You will be accused of "not loving America." As an American who lives overseas and doesn't give disclaimers, I hate to see it. I understand why she may have to do it, but I hate it.
Always excited for a Francophile video.
We just bought a town house because all single family homes were huge. But I do demand at least 1.5 bathrooms. I have suffered with one toilet and someone having a stomach bug and monopolizing the bathroom before.
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I am all for public transportation. As an immigration, I dont understand why a developed country doesn’t have a good public transportation system 😅
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