129. Behind the Looking Glass: Vaishnavi Sundar on Trans Widows + Women's Issues in India and Beyond

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 135

  • @Annie-nva1
    @Annie-nva1 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +80

    I feel so seen. Viashnavi - thank you. You are channeling the rage I cannot express, for my children’s sake. Thanks Stephanie for platforming such a giant of a woman.

  • @annieMoscowVideos
    @annieMoscowVideos 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +52

    Thank you for doing this film and giving these women a voice. I went through this 15 years ago when there was 0 support for wives vs the overwhelming love, support and enthusiasm for the husbands who were now apparently “opening up like beautiful flowers”. Trans-widows is a good word, because that’s what it felt like. Only unlike a widow, there was very little sympathy, support or compassion coming this way. Through tremendous grief and bewilderment, you were pretty much on your own. Even our therapist gushed, “Your husband of (25 years) is blossoming into his true self and you need to move on.” I did. I’m good. But it was really, really hard, and a life changing, perspective-shifting experience.

    • @jenniferplatts174
      @jenniferplatts174 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      What the heck causes all this.? The gaslighting that happens here is beyond decency. These poor women are just pushed down to supposedly accept his 'blossoming' . I havent heard or seen anything relating to women 'blossoming' into a man !! Just selfish, hateful narcisissim, many of these horrible men , emulate their wives clothing, hairstyle etc, some go as far as to appropriate our biology too...."birthing the kids', having periods, insisting they are the mothers. This is a form of psychosis. And that question....what is behind this obsession? As per usual, its women who are being asked to accomadate, roll over, move aside and accept this magical 'women' into their lives. Unbelievable. 😢

    • @pinchebruha405
      @pinchebruha405 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Ewwwwwwwww ugh what a horrible abuse from everyone onto you…. Gawwwwd I just couldn’t imagine how invidious it really must have been for you because of course even as a survivor of domestic violence abuse and emotional abuse I can’t imagine how horribly alone and confused angry you must have been…

    • @ambykp8940
      @ambykp8940 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    • @ambykp8940
      @ambykp8940 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

  • @amandaelliott7953
    @amandaelliott7953 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    I had a long term abusive relationship with a narcissist. He loved to lecture me about how I wasn’t a real woman. That he made a much better woman than I did. Now, he didn’t cross dress but he was certainly in love with his image.
    The parallel between this and narcissistic abuse is close.

    • @nacho-mammy
      @nacho-mammy 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Sounds like an agp

    • @amandaelliott7953
      @amandaelliott7953 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@nacho-mammy not quite…because he didn’t cross dress at all.
      He was however, very misogynistic. Had an ideal of what a woman should be. A combination of June cleaver and a trophy wife.

  • @wolfhugs2221
    @wolfhugs2221 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    It's an eye opening film. If anyone doubts that we are still very much in a patriarchy, where women are expected to be in servitude, ask why this film isn't on Netflix.

    • @BirdistheNerd
      @BirdistheNerd 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Yes. The veil that there was any kind of equality and misogyny was being diminished on any deep level has completely disintegrated during this so-called movement.

    • @wolfhugs2221
      @wolfhugs2221 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@BirdistheNerd Mr Menno is releasing a video on that, this week. Young women need to be encouraged to understand that their rights are not a given in the way that men's are, and they need to work to protect them.

    • @BirdistheNerd
      @BirdistheNerd 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@wolfhugs2221 Thank you. I found the video that drops tomorrow.

    • @GeLowBrando
      @GeLowBrando 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You're male....so you are the patriarchy.

    • @gisellemagraibhaigh8342
      @gisellemagraibhaigh8342 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Yes indeed, would be wonderful to be there alongside Will and Larper

  • @TheRisky9
    @TheRisky9 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    I watched her documentary and it's amazing. I went as far as mirroring the film so it's preserved if it was taken down.

    • @StormBringer5
      @StormBringer5 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Thank you for doing that! This is important work that needs to be seen.

    • @TheRisky9
      @TheRisky9 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@StormBringer5 Anyone can do it. Press your Windows key + G and you can mirror your youtube videos.

  • @UteHeggenTranswidowHeals
    @UteHeggenTranswidowHeals 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    In the data I've collected (the only in the world) on the experiences of trans widows, over 1/3 were s assaulted by husband, and also over 1/3 were ph assaulted. It is not safe to stay.

    • @TheRisky9
      @TheRisky9 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I love your work. And thank you for speaking out. Many of these trans individuals are playing it off that they are the heroes. They are coming out to spare you.
      I got down this rabbit hole when a trans activist persuaded the martial arts school I went to decided the women's division should be marginalized genders. And as I got to know him, I came to think, "there is no way this guy thinks that he's going to win anything in our division." And it was your material that put the pieces together. It was about a wider fantasy of the world seeing him as a woman. Winning was just secondary to that. And, in a way that makes it worse.

    • @UteHeggenTranswidowHeals
      @UteHeggenTranswidowHeals 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@TheRisky9 Thanks! Oddly, my ex-husband, whom I call Neddy in my memoir, is a martial arts hobbyist. Of course, listed in the women's division. He's so enraged most of the time--I cannot imagine sparring with him.

    • @TheRisky9
      @TheRisky9 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      ​@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals I think you've mentioned this before. This is exceptionally dangerous for the girls participating.
      The thing about women is we don't tend to complain. We just choose not to participate. and why complain when it leads to nothing but ridicule from trans rights groups.

    • @TheRisky9
      @TheRisky9 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      But I think what cemented what you say a lot about trans identifying individuals is that we've had this women's category. And it was fine and all.
      But as soon as it was the "marginalized genders," suddenly there was talk of special training sessions. And tournaments. And outings. None of this was talked about when it was just the women's group. Not that I cared. I figured if you talk about women's only events, then why not men only and no one wants the backlash of doing a men's only event. Fair enough.
      But I found it interesting that we only talk about special marginalized genders events when narcissistic males got involved and called themselves women.

    • @UteHeggenTranswidowHeals
      @UteHeggenTranswidowHeals 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@TheRisky9 All females should refuse to participate in sports where men insert themselves in the men's teams. Unfortunately, the indoctrination is so strong, that many women/girls will feel obligated to help float this leaden boat.

  • @Busyhriehfjeje
    @Busyhriehfjeje 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I love that you said “disgust” being repressed. I have always felt a bit of disgust at these men, but our culture is gaslighting us into feeling terrible for feeling that way. And you really summed it up beautifully. “He is wearing his fetish on display”. I really appreciate this film and you for saying this. Thank you for making this super important film.

  • @robyngild9433
    @robyngild9433 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    What an amazing woman! I would love to hear her in a discussion with Julie Bindel - two great minds and hearts!

  • @janebennetto5655
    @janebennetto5655 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    Wow. This interview was nearly as powerful as the documentary. I hate the fact that Will Ferrell and his deluded, male ‘friend’s film is more likely to be seen than this film/documentary. Please keep well. ❤🇬🇧❌❌

    • @unowen-nh9ov
      @unowen-nh9ov 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      False equivalency, Ferrell movie 🌟 comedian & was his friend married?

    • @FruityHachi
      @FruityHachi 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@unowen-nh9ov yes, the friend was married but fortunately his wife divorced him
      his kids in that film mentioned the divorce

  • @BirdistheNerd
    @BirdistheNerd 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    I think the place of being caught between the rock and the hard place is often the children. Many women will swallow the disgust, the hurt, the shame, and so on to try and help their children, especially their young daughters, manage through this trauma (It is what women do). This has been years of celebrating these men while families are getting kicked from every side. Women become isolated due to shame but at the same time don't want to show that shame for fear of what their kids would feel. Leaving means leaving their kids alone with someone who can't see past their self to see their children or the pain they have caused or are causing. Often these men scarcely parent because they are so focused on their false identity.

    • @BirdistheNerd
      @BirdistheNerd 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Thank you for this interview and conversation. I should have stated that first.

  • @barbarafrench9461
    @barbarafrench9461 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Vaishnavi's discussion about how men in India view women brought back some very hard memories of my life back in 1979. I was working as an RN in a rehabilitation hospital where there was an immigrant Indian doctor. I was 5'3" tall and a size 2 petite, reserved, and an easy target. We would have patient conferences with all the caregivers present (M.D., R.N, P.T, O.T., Recreation Therapy, religious person, as it was a Catholic entity). This Dr. would leave my input until last, pretending that he forgot me. This so crushed me. When I spoke to the nursing supervisor about this, she said that she could do nothing about it. I am 69, and my just thinking back hurts. In later years, my father lived with me. When I took him to his primary care appointment, my input was brushed past and he focused only on what my father said. Yes, he was from India. I can only slightly commiserate with what your guest has sadly lived through. Bless her for the powerful work she is doing, and bless you for your wonderful content and skills of interviewing.

  • @sammyskylar4133
    @sammyskylar4133 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    Thank you, Stephanie, for this very interesting interview.

  • @AnneTeahan
    @AnneTeahan 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Excellent interview. Such a stunning film. Great to witness how anger and compassion fuel Vaishnavi’s work. Shameful that MSM refuse to show it.

  • @MartianGirl347
    @MartianGirl347 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    32 year old trans widow here. Although, my ex-husband didn’t start transitioning until we were separated. I really appreciated your documentary. Thank you for helping me feel seen and heard. There aren’t many people who are willing to understand the point of view of the wife or ex-wife. Including psychiatrists and therapists… I have yet to REALLY talk about it with someone.

  • @h6hfelie
    @h6hfelie 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I hope she has someone by her side while she's doing this. The emotional fallout from this kind of work sounds like too much of a burden to deal with alone.

  • @MarciaMatthews
    @MarciaMatthews 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    It must be difficult to be as sensitive as Vaishnavi and see the damage pornography has done to Indian men.

  • @Joy-qs7jf
    @Joy-qs7jf 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    You are brave to do this film and I am forever in your debt for being heard, thank you x

    • @ambykp8940
      @ambykp8940 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

  • @nejafeja
    @nejafeja 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    Will Farell should be forced to what this

    • @wolfhugs2221
      @wolfhugs2221 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Agreed. His comments to promote that show he's done just make him look like the most insensitive, thoughtless fool.

  • @Argeaux2
    @Argeaux2 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Viashnavi‘s passion, and intelligence are inspirational.

  • @Jemawin
    @Jemawin 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Vaishnavi is brave and brilliant and is producing powerful work.

  • @SummerStars18
    @SummerStars18 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you for speaking to these women, and allowing their side of this experience to be heard.

  • @andreabell5724
    @andreabell5724 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Such a great film/s,, such a great interview
    A new wave of feminism needs to be born 🪺
    Thank you both 🙏🙏🙏🙏
    Thanks everyone giving their all in this vast darkness ☀️ ⚪️ ✨ 🕯️
    Truth must have a part
    Onward 🙌

  • @freddieoblivion6122
    @freddieoblivion6122 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Great talk, thanks. I'd go out on a limb and bet that 90% of the trans women leaving these trans widows (in America) are huite men. Couldn't this be an acute response to the way huite men have been artificially excised from... well, everything, in the name of "diversity and inclusion"? "Diversity" has come to mean simply "not huite". I'd spell that word correctly if I wouldn't get censored for doing so.

    • @Tqcwgrrl
      @Tqcwgrrl 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      “Huite” and straight for many. Suddenly they magically become an oppressed class.

    • @Donatello-go5sn
      @Donatello-go5sn 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I lol'ed at this message. Many men of color can not become middle/upperclass folks and then "transition" into a woman because they would not have the community support or adoration as their counterparts. I can not see a black Jennifer Pritzer (sp) or Caitlin Jenner with money and fame deciding to publicly come out as transgender. Most men of color do not have that much $exuaL freedom as huit men; they are constricted by societal norms, religion, and past oppression. I have no doubt that they do it in private, but to do it publicly, they would lose lots of social capital. For this reason, most black males who transition are HSTS, but I wouldn't be surprised if they start popping up as huit trans males gain more power.

    • @nacho-mammy
      @nacho-mammy 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I never thought of that, but am not convinced that’s it

    • @johnkrstyen
      @johnkrstyen 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Does saying white really get censored?

  • @andreabell5724
    @andreabell5724 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    “ … I think I would die of anger…”
    Yes 🙏🙏🙏 mercy , fierce mercy 🦁

  • @carolinecarlson4307
    @carolinecarlson4307 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I could listen to Vaishnavi speak all day long and want more ! Excellent interview 🌹

  • @Pepperr22
    @Pepperr22 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Hi Stephanie, I am a therapist practicing on the east coast, and recently found your podcast. I wanted to find a way to thank you for the work you are doing, because as a newer therapist in this field, it’s hard to not feel isolated and alone in regards to the issue of gender ideology. Your podcast has helped me to feel less alone and hopeful in knowing that there are other concerned professionals out there. I’m wondering if you have any knowledge or understanding of the therian identity? This is something i’ve encountered a few times in my practice, and each time there’s also been a component of gender identity related. Just some food for thought, but thank you again for all that you are doing, it is truly appreciated as a fellow concerned therapist

    • @earthmanbrick
      @earthmanbrick 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Therian, sounds a lot like borderline personality disorder manifesting in ways they find difficult to articulate.

  • @briannabanks1659
    @briannabanks1659 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Oh wow, her works are truly amazing! I’ve subbed to Lime Soda films since watching Dysphoric. I am so grateful such comprehensive and informative documentaries were made free to watch, because it’s so important for everyone to have access to such important info!

  • @Birbal65
    @Birbal65 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank Stephanie for giving Vaishnavi the space to speak without interrupting her.
    Thank you, Vaishnavi, for your open and honest answers.

  • @Anaitthelurker
    @Anaitthelurker 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    She is brilliant!!

  • @franceskeeley6924
    @franceskeeley6924 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Brilliant - Vaishnavi Sundar has such a fine mind.

  • @janewatson8108
    @janewatson8108 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    What an amazing woman.

  • @A-Fc4rl496
    @A-Fc4rl496 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    oh, finally. i am glad the film is out

  • @tonimedlen5371
    @tonimedlen5371 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This documentary really opened my eyes to the experiences of trans widows. Thank you xxx

  • @pinchebruha405
    @pinchebruha405 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Very curious if there is a difference in the attitude among men who are Muslim versus Hindu or is there no difference?

  • @KatMoore-ih6mw
    @KatMoore-ih6mw 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This woman is awesome!

  • @Verity_Truth666
    @Verity_Truth666 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This woman is simply amazing. ❤

  • @michaelc9287
    @michaelc9287 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Where are the feminists advocating for trans widows?

    • @sometherapist
      @sometherapist  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Literally right here dude

  • @non_ideological_transexual7414
    @non_ideological_transexual7414 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    "Lived experience" ?
    People destroy relationships and other peoples out of selfishnish . Anyone who is Transitioning as a heterosexual & who is married is just another way, with the under lying ability to do this is at the center and needs to be addressed. Many people will do what they can do , allowed to do or get away with regardless of sex and what laws ,policies allow

  • @andrews6952
    @andrews6952 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

  • @amandaheaton3763
    @amandaheaton3763 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    😮

  • @saundersjade5877
    @saundersjade5877 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    As à transsexuel personne since my first girlfreind at age 15 i was honest with my partners. Some of them used me like Kink. Others Black mailed me and 2 of them made children with me. Your not telling bothe sides.

    • @earthmanbrick
      @earthmanbrick 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That does not sound like a series of healthy relationships, if people are objectifying you (''used me like kink''), then that's not love or a mutually reciprocal bond.
      If your partners are blackmailling you, that is also abusive & the death-knell of any relationship.

    • @twocanplay7976
      @twocanplay7976 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Your side doesn't need to be told. Tr@ns is already pushed and celebrated by every facet of society, especially in the West, to the point where all dissent is viciously suppressed (thankfully we're slowly pushing through the censorship).

    • @nacho-mammy
      @nacho-mammy 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Go find one of the million other sites created for you to whine. This is for women.

    • @johnkrstyen
      @johnkrstyen 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well of they were also the ones that support Trans-Ideology it does not surprise me they were abusive.

    • @johnkrstyen
      @johnkrstyen 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well if they also supported this gender Ideology does not surprise they were abusive.

  • @surplussurplus-wp6pi
    @surplussurplus-wp6pi 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    im a trans girl... im scared...

  • @notreal-duh
    @notreal-duh 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    i feel a lot of disgust towards bitter divorcees who call themselves “widows”. you did not experience the death of a loved one, it’s just crazy that those women will openly disrespect widows just to fish for undeserved sympathy

    • @wolfhugs2221
      @wolfhugs2221 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      It's a historically accepted term for those whose spouses have deserted them emotionally but are still around.

    • @notreal-duh
      @notreal-duh 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@wolfhugs2221 bullshit.

    • @apebass2215
      @apebass2215 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      I'm a widow, and I have a lot of sympathy for these women who have lost their husbands to a cult. These men want to erase/kill their former selves, hence the concept of a "dead name". I'm not offended at all by the label of "trans widows", so don't be offended on behalf of widows like me, we don't need your misplaced concern.

    • @wolfhugs2221
      @wolfhugs2221 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@notreal-duh live in ignorance of history if you want to mate

    • @notreal-duh
      @notreal-duh 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@wolfhugs2221 you have zero regard for real widows. that’s what disgusts me about you people

  • @ghfudrs93uuu
    @ghfudrs93uuu 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I have a hard time having empathy for most trans widows.
    The majority of them are up all for all of this until backfires on them.
    The whole struggle truly looks like two narcissists fighting to be the center of attention.

    • @TheRisky9
      @TheRisky9 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      It can be. But one side can also be completely wrong.

    • @wolfhugs2221
      @wolfhugs2221 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      This sounds like the attitude of society to abused women throughout history. Try listening and understanding. You will feel far more peace that way.

    • @ghfudrs93uuu
      @ghfudrs93uuu 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@wolfhugs2221
      I understand how
      "The majority of them are up all for all of this until backfires on them."
      may sound like this, but I'm not referring to the relationship, but the cult. When they are the ones screaming victim to get their narcissistic demands met it is all right, but when they get one upped like this it is a travesty, pun intended.

    • @wolfhugs2221
      @wolfhugs2221 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@ghfudrs93uuu you're just another misogynist mate.

    • @saundersjade5877
      @saundersjade5877 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And i do never watched porn or idolised my partners. I was like this since i can remember