This is an issue for men over the age of 25 the world over. That’s the age when life trajectories tend to divert widely with regard to career, marriage, children, etc. Everyone is on their own path at that point. You don’t have nearly as many common interests with other men as you do during high school and college. This is why it’s important to build social groups around hobbies/activitites. That way everyone involved automatically has a common interest.
I think most people over 25, even 20, here in Colombia is very busy working or making family life, so yeah that it is. They remains all life into the group of school or their hobby, but after 25 there is not many people searching for "friends", true friends like David explains. Is some weird, if you ask me, search for friends, the people is suspicious and not many have time to new people. If you do not have already a group of friends before 25 or even before, it is very hard to try to enter in a group, except to the family group of your girlfriend, or the group of your work. Maybe paisas are more closed to foreigns and people of other parts of the country, too, idk, but the main reason is the age and the busy life. Some man of more of 25 that is too much friendly seems weird.
So true. That’s when all my male friends disappeared cause they got involved with a woman. I actually don’t mind being alone, I travel by myself and it’s fun.
Honestly, this applies to most big cities but people never notice because in their home country they have developed a core group of friends already so they never notice.
This. David is just getting old. Making new friends is harder as you age since there isnt forcing functions like School or College. Workplaces dont have the same dynamic.
I suck at making friends in my native language (English), but in Colombia I found it much easier despite my Spanish not being that great. Granted I had the benefit of being in high school so being forced to see the same people everyday helped. But it was a lack of a certain sense of self-consciousness and social anxiety which plagued me in the US. In Medellín, I felt all my weirdness/awkwardness was assumed by others to be the result of my tenuous grasp on Spanish as opposed to some failure of my character or from not enough socialization as a kid. I found it quite freeing.
If you move and don't have a group of friends already from childhood. Then, rather than trying to join their group (their fun basically) try creating your own group (your own fun). People don't want to risk their whole social group falling apart because they invited some stranger (completely understandable). Here's how you go about making your own friend group: 1. Make one (or more) friend by showing up to the same place regularly and being social (activities, classes, school, etc.) 2. Invite this person to other things, when doing these activities YOU be the guy who invites strangers 3. At least half the time you won't fit this stranger you invited person in to your friend group, but when they do start inviting them Eventually you'll have grown quite the group. But what is important to realise is that YOU are the connector. You are the glue that keeps the group together. Most people expect it to be like when they were kids where they don't really have to put in any effort but still have a bunch of great friends. Not how it works in adult life, you must put in effort and be the person who invites. Then, as you grow your social circle you'll notice the other people who are acting as connectors, make an effort to befriend them and you'll invite each-other to things and become a really solid friend group. Create your own friend group. Good luck.
100% true my brother, I´ve been doing it like this as well and now have friends all over the city who I can always count on... came on this video to also write a text like this one for new people arriving in the city, great input :)
Hey David. I have been in Medellin for 3 months (3 more months to go) to learn Spanish and I definitely agree. It has been very hard to make local friends of the same gender (I have maybe 1 or 2). I feel there is an invisible barrier between us (locals) and them (foreigners). Yes, local people are extremely friendly but profound friendships have been hard to come by... I think the reason you give ("he's only here for a couple of months") makes a lot of sense
David, in Colombia (I don’t know if is the same in other countries in Latin America) but people from the mountains are less open and more uptight, but people from the coast “costeños’’ are a lot more open and relax.
So right. When I visited Barranquilla right before the pandemic so many of them so pleasant and easy to talk to. While searching for artwork I even met the lead dancer of the carnival at the museo cultural and she so nice and talked with me for awhile in my basis Spanish.
When I lived in MDE I trained at the gym often. I made a few good friends there. David, you’re on the right track: Make friends at those locations where you participate in your hobbies/activities… at the gym, at church, at the dojo, at the swimming pool, on the soccer field, at El Estadio exercise complex, etc. I don’t think it is difficult to accomplish, particularly if one -speaks Spanish-… no Spanish or limited Spanish then it is a big impediment… suerte parcero✌🏼
@@LifewithDavid It also gets more difficult to make new friends the older you get for some reason. I notice the difference from my 20s to 30s. It's probably laziness on everybody's part.
I noticed that while visiting Colombia 🇨🇴 especially Medellin. Even though I speak spanish fluently. The gals kind keep to themselves, the only talkative gals were the prepagos😅. The regular gals aren't very friendly unlike other latinas. I think because they don't know you they are introvert or not sure.
Most of my friends that I make are from Venuzuala, cool guys! Its so hard to get in their circle of locals and if they let you in then that’s because you end up paying the bill 😅
Entonces usted es el medio para llegar a un fin, recuerde que muchos venezolanos buscan emigrar hacia los estados unidos, buscaran cualquier forma de irse, si usted es consciente de esa situacion, tambien puede sacar provecho.
In my opinion the older we get we don't have that tight bff friendship as we were when we were kids/teens/young college age person. Once people get married and have kids that's when you really see friends going away as their responsibility is on the family. You may keep in touch or make new acquaintances but is not the same.
Basically its nearly impossible to make real friends in Colombia. I visit Colombia since many years and the most people there only approach the foreigner to try get any benefit of him or her. Colombians are in general not interested in knowing foreigners. Ok, many women are interested to approach a foreigner man to try marry him and get a better life. But thats 99,9% not a honest approaching. I also realized that Colombians trust nearly nobody and the only have a small circle of people they know. They also dont trust foreigners. The main relationships of the most Colombians are with their family members and not with friends and less with foreigners.
That is 100%. I speak spanish like a native speaker. However, Colombians are always "chingando" people. That is the reason they do not trust other people. It is their survival mentality. Kinds of reminds me of the "chingalo a ellos antes que te chinguen a ti"
Trust is deserved. Thinking that all Colombians want your money projects an image of superiority that we (and I suppose everyone in the world) despise. What you are is more important than what you have.
Yeah, that can be very true for most. I've had a couple of relationships where I'm literally open handed but I constantly feel like the trust really isn't there. I eventually move on.
I think in one video you've been expressing how hard it is to find new topics for the videos - I would like to suggest some things, based on other channels I like since I would like to see this channel grow and not disappear: - you have someone with interesting job - chef, firefighter, restaurant owner, whatever - and you're showing their typical work day - from when they get up to then they go to sleep - there must be some interesting manufactures in Colombia - making all sort of stuff available only on the local market - those are usually pretty interesting places - you're not moving out of Medellin much - it would be to show different places - 1x a week? 1x a month maybe? just cool places or - which I would love to see - beautiful but more secluded places (I LOVED that material about the coffee farmers in the jungle - couldn't find the website to rent the room there afterwards as it was taken down :( - she's available on FB though so I guess will try that) just some loose suggestions here, thanks for the content :)
What ive realized about paisa's is when you start to make friends you arent part of the inner group initially, you go back to the U.S. then return to Medellin and suddenly you are in the inner circle. It doesnt hurt returning to Medellin with gifts from the U.S.
It's good someone finally made this video. There are all types of people that travel. This has been one of my worries about moving to Colombia in retirement. I don't need many friends, but I very much would like to build some relationships there when or if I do. Imagine it can be hard for you and you speak darn near perfect Spanish. Joining groups is the best way I've heard to make friends, but I would imagine it is still a challenge while you are working on your Spanish. Building genuine friends is what I think will be the real challenge. You were making perfect sense.
I'm from the US, living in Mexico. After high school/college, I've found it almost impossible to make friends of the same gender no matter what country I'm in. It's very easy to make opposite gender friends both in the US and Mexico for me.
It’s going to vary, you are from Houston like me, 4th largest city in the U.S. , when you get older it’s extremely clicky and most of my friends are married and it’s over, especially with kids. You have some valid points! You have to get out there and it’s difficult depending who you are, age, vibe, language, country. Not too easy but since you are from the states, you are used to it. A lot of lonely people.
I similar to you dave, but a lot older. I realized i’m nice but not extrovert-ly friendly. I have a lot of friends, even a hang tight hangout buddy here and there, but close true friend, just one. I prefer this and don’t feel i’m missing anything.
It's the world we now live in. In the past you'd be in your Medellin apartment with only a tv and radio, almost all in Spanish. So, you'd quickly get bored and go out and meet people, plan activities, eat at little food stands, go to bars, clubs, restaurants. Nowadays, you've got endless hours of entertainment in your apartment, all in your native English language. You probably go out, get your food, and quickly go back home to eat it in front of your laptop. Or just have food delivered. If you get rid of the technology you'll go out a lot more and meet many new friends.
Hmm I can't speak for Colombia cause I've never been but I agree with you that it's super easy to make friends in Brazil... as long as you can speak Portuguese. They genuinely are curious about gringos and being from the states they wanted to get to know me better. But some people say that it's harder to make true friendships there, it's more like acquaintances. But that hasn't been my experience.
Everywhere you go, it's the same - friendships change based on priorities. Thats the loneliness that you face when you don't settle down unfortunately. You get to watch others living their lives.
I just love how kind, friendly & genuine you are, David!👍 & I get that I'm one of the, relatively, few women who follow your channel. but we females DO exist in the 'david-space, LoL!😄 and I could be wrong but I think I might speak for a few of us ladies🤷🏾 who believe you're a decent human being who is truly trying to help others. and maybe it's mostly males? but that's ok! because much of your material - the advice & wisdom you share - can be applied to ALL people. so, not only to random travelers but also potentially troubled ex-pats & potential adventurous innocents [including *new* travelers & *new* ex -pats]. so, definitely, please *do* keep up the good work, my brother..and as always, looking forward to your latest uploads + all we can catch up with in between the new ones from your days & adventures past!🤸🏾♀️🤸🏼🤸🏽♂️🤸🏻 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ & I don't want to forget!: a big shout out to Natty! [please forgive if I misspelled her name?/nickname?🥺]. because like her, as much as I, myself also have absolutely NO interest in being seen.. I can absolutely see the possibility that, at least, SOME of her shared wisdom, as well, makes into some of your awesome videos!🧚🏾♀️✨🔮🌟💫
Hey David, I think is a little bit of everything. You're not outgoing, Foreign etc. I know because I have the same issue. I'm from Colombia, Cali and at first it was difficult. It still is but I'm getting better at navigating it. I live in the US and at first it was hard making new friends for me, (females) but once I started going to school, (college) then work I started making friends. It takes going to the same place consistently, as mentioned above. I made some friends at the gym too. but I was going there for a long time, same schedule, same classes. Also, once you make friends and they invite you, you have to invite them too. Initiate, say invite them over your place, cook something or do potluck or to watch a game. If they invite you once then the next time you have to ask them, say hey let's go to a movie. Say for example, I listen to what the other person likes, then next time I'll say, "I know you like hiking, I found this new place to go" and pack some snacks. but you can't just wait for them to ask you out. Making new friends is almost like dating. You got to have things in common and make yourself interesting. They'll want to hangout cuz you can't cook or you're good at something. That's just how it is. I know they have meet up groups, join that. Also, you don't have an 8-5 job or regular job. People build relationships at job, say cuz they struggle together or find they have stuff in common. Friendship is a verb. I'll email you a podcast I recently listened to where a friendship coach was talking about it. There's also a book. I know is a lot but I'm speaking from experience, plus I'm Colombian. :D
In Bogota I went to a language exchange in a nice bar in an upmarket part of town and met a few adult people who wanted to learn and practice their English. I was expecting the place to be full of 20 something backpackers and Colombian university students but was pleasantly surprised to find people in their 30s and 40s as well.
I turned 30 last year and notice that many people are settling down, having kids, and life becomes too busy to prioritize much else outside of the immediate family and long time friends (because for most people at that stage in life, ain’t nobody time to meet new friends). I’d consider myself extremely extroverted, and for most of my life, I’ve found friends in the contexts of things I love doing. Since I was a little kid, I’ve found social refuge in skateboarding. Throughout my 20’s, I served, bartended, and worked at music venues doing videography/photography. I also started training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which was much more socially tailored for adults than skateboarding. When Covid happens, it was like hitting a brick wall. Most of my work shifted to remote based editing, Jiu Jitsu academies closed, and in the years since, I’ve found my priorities (as with everyone else my age) have shifted dramatically. It’s become distinctly more difficult to build real friendships in the absence of a lifestyle that in all consumed by socially stimulating work and athletic activities. Skateboarding is now my work and main social out, but coming from Colorado, USA which has brutal winters and generally unpredictable weather all year, this really started to wear on me last winter, since most people aren’t down to skate when it’s 27 degrees outside and snowing. Because of this, I went to Medellín last January to get a break from winter and only planned to stay for 2 weeks. Day one, I went to Vigaskatepark in Envgado, where a non skate related friend who lives in Medelliín, introduced my friend who I traveled with to one local skaters who is one of the top female skateboarder in the world right now. Long story short, day one, she invited us to go skate with the guy who started/operates Vigaskatepark, and for the next month, they’d they’d take us all over Medellín, showing us the best skateparks and spots, and we spent a lot of time hanging out at their houses, eating dinners, watching skate videos, going out to restaurants/bars, salsa dancing, and taking to us to skate with all of their friends who have now become our friends as well. After Medellín, I even went on a road trip to Bogotá with the guy from Viga and basically did a lot of similar skating activities there. We slept at one of the park owners house the first night, stayed in an Airbnb together the rest of time, and then we spent 3 days in Fusagasugá filming an international contest before I went home (6 weeks total trip). I’ve traveled to several regions around the world, but have never had this kind of social experience before... The full story is insane, but as a result of all this, I’m now looking at moving to Medellín. Now, obviously this is extremely unique and lucky, but I’ve found throughout my life, that if you get involved with sports (particularly sports like skateboarding, or martial arts, which are extremely difficult to get good at, and therefore means, if you are showing up every day to the same places, putting in that hard work, eventually (quickly) you’re going to meet people, and by the time you get good at the actual craft, you’ll realize you have at least a couple friends you’ve built throughout that time, and have an identity and craft you can take with you anywhere in the world to meet more friends. In my opinion, I think Jiu Jitsu and other MMA focused arts are excellent outlets for adults. Skateboarding is of course encouraged for all as well, but it’s not as approachable for adults starting out. However, if you get the inclination, stop by Vigaskatepark in Envigado sometime, as they have a ton of programming for all ages (if you do, tell them Tao Skateboarding referred you ☺️). For me, Medellín is most enticing for the skate scene and abundance of Jiu Jitsu academies, so if none of those things seem appealing, then I’m not sure how to approach this in a way that aligns with your unique interests, but hopefully the logic/general approach is gives you some things to consider! ☯️🤘
Amazing story and I don’t even need to imagine it because I’ve lived many similar experiences because of a skateboard. I think if more people were skateboarders, the world would be a better place. There is no community like the skateboard community. I questioned myself a lot lately if I’m too old to be skating but your text just reminded and reassured that I’m not! I’m in Brazil right now but we should link up, next time I’m in Medellin. I’ve been dating a girl for 10 years that’s from there so I go out there often. Peace
It's essential to find comfort in oneself and cultivate close connections with a select few; everything else will follow naturally. Moreover, in Colombia, some individuals can become overly reliant. If you get too close, they may begin to see you as a resource, constantly seeking favors or loans. Focus more on the quality of friendships rather than the quantity.
I made friends with a tour guide in el pablado free walking tour. It was my birthday, and he used to work at the bar that has the gringo Tuesdays. Was a wild time . We keep in touch 1 year later discussing culture, travel, and our mutual love for weed ❤
It’s just because it’s a big city. Go to smaller places. I’ve been to a ton a pueblos and made friends just about everywhere. I don’t drink, drug or chase hoookkers. The farther you are from that behavior the easier it is to make a quality friend. Language groups. Gyms. Walking tours. Churches. Volunteer groups. Meetups. Good luck.
I have been in Bogotá for quite some time and they invite you into their group there. You can however also get into groups in Medellín but that only seems to work if you are a person who starts to talk with others on their own when visiting places.
Hi again David. It's not just you. All of my family is Colombian but my brother & I are 1st generation USA. My family stick together like glue, and they don't allow anyone in their "friend"(family) circle unless they will become part of the family. They are from Cali. Also, there is a culture difference between my brother & I & the rest of the family. They connect better because of their Colombian roots, culture, jokes, traditions, that Americans just don't know. That creates a separation I believe between us between foreigners & locals. Just harder to create close connections.
Hey David. I totally understand your situation. I had a friend/w Benifits lol. and that happened to me. I had a docent circle of friends because of her, but when we ended the relationship for X reason. So did the circle of friends. I did make another group text f friends at a social club. Swingers club. Lol. And what’s cool about that, is that their open way of thinking makes it easy to stay friends. But your right about the complexity of making guy friends. Thanks for the videos. Enjoy watching them. I will be headed back soon. I retired last May and will be looking into making Medellin my second home or investing in something small. But that’s another topic. Stay safe brother. Saludos.
For me it’s because everyone is so busy. Everyone’s trying to make money. I have friends but it’s kinda different than the USA when you hang after work and such. I know what you mean. It’s a superficial type of friendship.
I can definitely understand why it would be difficult for a foreigner to make same sex friends… particularly if they’re only in the country for a short while and don’t speak Spanish (as you said)…. But you speak Spanish fluently, have had a Colombian GF for a while now, and have lived in the country for 7 years! Locals should know by now that you’re not the typical gringo! Strange… but as you also said… if you never go out and aren’t good at keeping in touch… tough to build or maintain friendships that way. There are at least a half dozen (probably way more that I don’t know) TH-camrs who are in Colombia and speak Spanish in spite of the fact that they’re foreigners… none of you guys get together? Those guys that do the “‘Medellín Masterclass”? Or Sam who you chatted with on your channel before? Seems that those would be ideal guy friends to have. People with tons in common with you. Lots of shared experiences who also love the country and culture. Maybe that might be a place to start?
Foreigners in Colombia are usually from western countries and they tend to keep to themselves. It's the same in their own countries, they move around across a huge country and never even keep a core group of friends "physically" close by. That explains why they don't seek each other out, they are out there doing their own thing. Plus if they're in Colombia they might be even less interested in establishing a western group of friends.
You are right about what you are saying.I have been living here in Medellin for one year and five months and I don't have any Colombia friends in Medellin. Colombians especially in Medellin are very distrustful especially for foreigners. My girlfriend is from the coast of Colombia and she has the same problem here in Medellin.
I see where David is coming from - having been here nearly 2 years I only have probably at the most - 2 or 3 guys i'd consider actual friends and not just acquaintances. they very much stick to their childhood buddies. As a man, here, I found that women are easier to make friends with...but like with any friendship, you have to put in the effort. that means keeping in touch etc.
I feel you David. I think part of it is you. It takes time and commitment to establish those friendships. You seem to me to be very independent. Another thing about you is your handsome and intelligent. That puts a lot of people off or they can feel insecure. Natives that are handsome and educated many times are the group leaders be default. Just my thoughts. It takes time to build those common bonds that come from shared experiences.
As someone that has been living for 6 months per year on and off since 2021 in Colombia, I felt like Paisas are the easiest to make friends with. Folks that I always keep in touch with and hang out with once I'm in town. Cartagena is a very social place and I've met lots of cool folks but it's hard to make solid friends as people come and go. I speak fluent Spanish as well so maybe that helps. In fact, I often present myself as a "Latino" opposed to a Gringo first.
Yes, difficult for all those reasons plus viewer comments. Also, it gets more difficult with age. Btw, I like your channel because ou create authentic and useful content rather than simply walking around filming women and using click bait thumbnails. Keep up the good work.
Yea this is pretty on point. My boyfriend is from SanMa and moved to Medellin about a year ago and hasn’t made any real friends outside of his roommate tbh.
Hi David! I would love to see you leave Colombia, and move to the Philippines. I understand the people from the Philippines are some of the nicest people and friendliest on the planet! A lot of TH-camrs go to the Philippines and get many subscribers to grow there channel. 🤩✌🏻
I’ve joined to 2 social cultural expat groups in Medellín. We pick coffee & learn coffee; do Guatepe; many restaurants and movies , Orchids Jardin botanical, flower farms. Done guys only birthday parties- -> HOOTERS. And etc. Live at 7 bedroom Airbnb with 6 other roomies. Usually 3 girls and 5 guys from various international countries and from Colombian pueblos and cities.
It happened to me once. I was riding my motorcycle. Alone. At the viewpoint, some random colombian folks invited me to enjoy their ride. They were like 20sh, from Medellín! 🎉🎉
I totally understand your situation David. I stay long term at Philippines and Country of Mexico. Grew up in the states since I was a kid. I simple do not speak Spanish at the level of a native Mexicano. I am consider a gringo, or norteño. Pero ni modo, así fui mi historia. Saludos Compa
@7:02 I live in Florida and that’s exactly how it is there. There’s a group in Sarasota that refuses to be friends with anyone that isn’t from Florida for the exact reasons you described. @12:14 it’s happened to me but not in Medellin. David, if you want friends ya gotta be a little outgoing. I’m not a social butterfly either but I seek out the folks I want to befriend. I’ve had moderate success and my Spanish is horrible. You’re in a famously dangerous city with a violent past that’s dealing with a huge influx of gentrification. I believe a lot of Colombians are still dealing with the lingering trauma of past violence because From what I’ve experienced, Colombian people are awesome. Big cities are always difficult to make real friends in. Go to a city that doesn’t get gringos and you’ll be shocked how curious and friendly they’ll be to you. Been a fan for a while. Let me know if you want to meet some folks in Pereira or Manizales!
Sounds like Philippines as well. Love seeing the old David back on the streets, we missed you man big time bro. I had no idea Wes had separated from his wife have not followed him for some time now
I think it's just part of getting older. Try doing something like jiujitsu; if you see the same guys 3x a week, and suggest a regular weekly get together for beers or something.
Don't worry David. Even we as colombians have a hard time making friends with paisas. I had that conversation many times with friends here in Cali and some others that often travel there. They are good and proud people but I think what makes them different is that they keep what they consider bad to themselves, that also could mean that if they don't like or distrust you they will keep their distance. Maybe the history of violence has something to do with that as well.
I live in Michigan (as a German). Approaching 10 years. I have some international friends. But not a single American (as in: born & raised in Michigan). People are very closed and narrow minded in regards foreigners. Don’t get me even started with dating. Besides that Michigan is an absolute extreme tough dating environment, I didn’t manage to date a single (!) American girl in the past 10 years. I dated Brazilian, Italian, Russian and other German girls but not Americans as a foreigner.
Parce, while you're right, I feel that's the same everywhere. People make their tight inner circle while growing up, usually your closest friends are from elementary school and high school, maaaaaybe college/university. But once your past your school years, and past your teens and 20s, making new friends, close good friends, is tough man.
as we get older, and in many cases busier it is harder to make friends, it isn't impossible but you need to be flexible and persistant, you might have to make a few overtures before someone who likes you will make room in there lives, and just like any relationship it takes work, especially if you can fall back on old childhood bonds
In Barranquilla people is super friendly and open. Regarding foreigners still worth to connect with them specially if they are living long term in Colombia for example people married to Colombian nationals or raising kids in Colombia
I noticed this too, it is extremely hard to make friends with Colombians. The majority are friendly but in the sense to be polite, not to actually get to know you, at least that is how I view it.
Hi David how are you , remember us from Panem Sabaneta ? Yes David, you are completely correct it's very difficult to make true friends in a foreign country and especially when you want to talk about your youth or your home country and this will always stay superficial , this is something you have to forget about , it's the same when a local talks about his past or youth and this will never be the same when you talk to an old school friend , I was born in the Netherlands but I lived my youth in South Africa for more then 20 years , in 1967 I started to go to school (African) and here we went bare feet no shoes this was normal in this country and for us this was the best time of our life's , these are things you can't talk about to a foreigner or jokes from your youth or country they don't understand this and that's the same for us , I lived in more country's but it's all the same, once a extranjero always a extranjero no matter how hard you try , This is what I have accepted and you must ... to make life easier , I can imagine to get a foreign girlfriend even for me at 62 years old man would not be a problem at all besides I look like a Gringo con mucho dinero , anyhow we love Medellin and true the locals are very friendly but true friendship to a certain extent , If I knew then what I know now I was better off staying in my own country South Africa but like I said I have to live with this and accept it , David take care and be strong we have seen a lot of the world and that's what counts Greetings Saludos ,September we will be there again 👍👍
I am from Medellín and have been in the States on and off for almost 20 years, half of my life, and I can tell you that I feel the same as you. I have met people here, acquaintances and such but was never truly included in a group of friends, and I mean, Americans. The only real friends that I have had here are other Hispanics. I have a French friend who lives in Barcelona and he tells me that the only people he has truly had as a close group of friends are Italians and other French. I feel like it is the same in many places, even the most cosmopolitan ones. Locals stick to locals. Unless you grew up in that place and speak the language almost without an accent and have adapted 100% you will most likely not be truly accepted into a close group. However, I also have a friend from Mexico who has lived in half a dozen places in the world, all the way from China to Austria and Norway, and he has always been able to make good connections. Your personality is key but also the culture. I can tell you that Medellin is a very closed society, close groups of friends who have known each other since childhood stick together. It all goes back to the violence of the '80s, '90s, and 2000s when trusting outsiders, and I mean other Paisas that you did not know, was risky. I lived in Buenos Aires and went to school there for 1 year and that is about the only place outside of Colombia where I was included 1005 on a group of friends, but it is probably because I know Argentinian culture and was in school with them every day.
You can easily make friends in the gym or you join a football club. But don't go to some hipster gym, pick one where the dumbbells are rusty and the people are genuine
I think that Dave brings up some good points. Probably the main the reason is the foreigner and language barrier aspect. Why get to know someone really well when they are going to leave in a few months? But I think the phenomenon of difficulty many friends is a global thing. I find that it is easy to make friends with women, because as a guy, I'm not into stereotypical guy things like sports, cars, boxing, so I find it harder to relate to some guys. Whereas with females, I can have longer, drawn out discussions, whereas it seems to me like guys don't typically like to do that. Well, I have mostly online friends or penpals, so not sure if that applies in real life as well. I do find that Brazilian people are also pretty open people and more friendlier than the average country. But not sure if they are easier to become best friends like any other country. It's easy to make acquaintances but hard to make real friends, someone you can call at 4 am and have to rush over to your house in a heartbeat. Also I think that keeping in touch with current friends is a hard too and takes a lot of time and effort. If you stop talking to people, they will stop talking to you, so don't be surprised. Some of my online penpals, I only talk about once every month or 3 months. But when I do, I send a full essay updating on my life and anything interesting that happens. I takes a long time to write and talk, but it is worth it to preserving and continually build that friendship. You can't expects others to ask you out or invite you all the time. Sometimes, you have make the plans and ask others out. I think it's kind of ironic that Dave is have troubling making friend in columobia because he was saying that was the reason he left TExas, because everyone was in their little bubbles in the US. And it's seems like Dave is saying that it is the same in columbia. If you flee a country, you'd have trouble making new friends and you lose all of your old friends, doesn't sound great
Good points. I feel better here because even though I spend some time alone, I don't feel alone. More people in the streets, more going on. Big difference to me compared to where I'm from.
Well there is the language barrier to most expats. Beyond that, you have the cultural barrier as well. Also, you only have so much time in a day, so even if you wanted to have lots of local friends, you couldn’t. Finally, If you’re male, you will have an additional level of difficulty making solid friends vs a female. Odds are stacked against White American Males who only speak decent Spanish.
it takes years to form friendships. Friends aren't cheap, it cost a lot of time to be someone's friend....to earn their trust....for them to even like who you really are. It takes years.
he opens the video up by admitting it might be his fault, he's "not a social butterfly". There's no magic bullet to making friends. It just happens over time.....like years. But if you aren't social then you'll never make friends. I would also comment that there is some resentment towards gringos in general, around the world. So Americans aren't every foreigner's top candid from intimate friendship. Not all, but some. @@taylakurner
I have some great Colombian friends that feel like family to me. I've been here for almost 6 years, and like someone said below, it takes years to build friendships - the meaningful ones that you're talking about. I was lucky that I was able to put in the time. With that said, I met these friends in another Colombian city, not Medellin, so maybe that's why it was easier. But instead of waiting for Paisas to invite you into your group, start inviting them places.
Medellín has changed A LOT, it was a lot better back in the old days before the word got out. I'm speaking of the early 2000s to early 2010s. Poblado and Parque Lleras was literally the funniest place with hardly any hookers pre 2012. It was a riot back in those days, soooo much fun. And if you were a good looking blonde or brown haired gringo you could get laid like nobody's business back in those days without paying a penny (not hookers). Then all the Europeans started coming in the early 2010s and then the word got out in about 2013/14 and it's never been the same since. Gringos were special back in those days and girls wanted to be with us.
I would say almost as a rule most people in general make their closest friends from childhood into their twenties, and this is the same anywhere in the world. Friendship takes work and time from two people, and in adulthood, who really has time for that? And in Medellin you know its even more difficult, because how much people work there along with family obligations and such, and forget about it, if you don't speak Spanish.
I have been here for three years. I mostly have female friends and sometimes that bleeds over to their brothers. However, I find I don't have a lot in common with most Colombian men. The exception are those at the country club, there making friends seems to be a little easier. I think guards are lowered on both sides.
I have lived in Latin America 26 years this January , I will add that Columbia is not as bad as many other places I have lived (not to say it's good , just not the worst) and the second point having a girl friend or wife is absolutely no guarantee her family will ever invite you into their clik . You could very well find that your best social interactions are with your barber (if you are feeling lonely and shut out , go get a hair cut).
I haven't had much trouble making friends that are guys but we all have a common interest, we're very serious about learning English/Spanish. I heard of someone else taking martial arts very seriously and that worked out too.
It’s definitely a paisa thing, and not just with foreigners but also with other non-paisa Colombians. Paisas (I’m generalizing obviously, but ask any Colombians and they will say the same) are pretty close-minded, and this go back to historical reasons when the paisa region was very isolated. Paisas are very, I mean VERY regionalistic and the like to stay together in their group. It also happens with business, I’m not saying that they never don’t, but they tend to, they prefer to do business with other paisas. It is what it is. PEACE
Hi David. I’ve been to the mainland a couple of times. However, I’ve been to the island of San Andres many times and actually ended up purchasing property there on the island. I have found that I do have a small handful of people that I truly consider friends, even though I don’t live there. I only spend part of my time there. Nonetheless, I have developed a couple of really good friendships. That being said, the vibe on the island is definitely different from that of the mainland. I don’t have a lot of experience with making friends and connections on the mainland. With respect to San Andres, however, I have formed some good friendships, despite not even living there full-time. There are a couple of key people that have my back when I need them, and vice versa. I have a local friend who actually invited me into his home and introduced me to his mother and his siblings. This is an extremely rare occurrence for a foreigner, especially for a gringo like myself. Since 2020, my good friend from Sam Andrés ended up moving to Panama in order to secure the work he needed. In the meanwhile, he hooked me up with one of his brothers who still resides on the island. His brother took me out on his lobster boat. He has a lobster boat and a crew of about four or five men. They go out during lobster season to secure lobster which they then sell. It was quite a unique experience. No tourist will ever receive this level of closeness. I also have another friend whom I hung out with and who brought me to one of their local “bars” in one of the neighborhoods in which the locals live. This is a place that no tourist would ever get to see or even know about, let alone set foot in. I was welcomed by his group of friends in such an amazing way. It’s hard to describe. Suffice it to say, they were very warm and welcoming of me. Again, this is my experience, and it is one which the average tourist or gringo would not be privy to. I really have a couple of truly good friends on the island of San Andrés, Colombia, even though my wife and I don’t live there.
I understand where you're coming from David, but you said yourself that you like to keep to yourself. You gotta make the extra effort initially, when you're the outsider. Not sure if you are fluent with Spanish yet, but that seems obvious bc its the only way to have deep conversations with people and really connect. Also, you have 35k followers on this channel, some of which are Colombian. Alot of people like your videos. You gotta understand what a large microphone you have. Use this tool --- Why not start organizing meetups and events? Wander around with David and explore Medellin for 2 hours every week. happy hour with David. Stuff like that can explode exponentially if you give it a chance to. Do a public callout on your next video to invite local Paisas on your show to suggest new places to see in Medellin or Antioquia. The world is your oyster brother
I have my house in a lower estrato Barrio in Medellin and there I have made friends, but only one is a close relationship. Most stick to their family or friends they've known for many many years.
Thank you for this meaningful video about making same sex friends in Medellin. Despite your observations and experience, I encourage you to remain confident that you are a caring and very decent person. These qualities are not easily recognized in expats who may be perceived as coming to Colombia for what they can get. Like you have reported in previous videos, Colombians are on a whole are very polite. Breaking through this veneer of civility to meaningful friendship as an expat is more than a notion. May I suggest seeking other venues to meet people, more specifically, volunteer work which serves the needs of people who would greatly benefit from your time and effort. Working alongside Colombian men who are on a mission to run a soup kitchen to feed the poor; or as a volunteer fire fighter; or helping the homeless there in some way. Men in Colombia, like anywhere else, have important causes they deeply care about. As an American expat, you have a lot to bring to the table. Working along side native Colombians who are on a mission to serve urgent needs of their community, would give you access to knowing people in a deeper way than social venues rarely do.
If it wasn't for the fact that i worked for a company in Colombia, I would've been screwed friend-wise. People love making relationships at work, both platonic and romantic
it's just natural for 30+ year old males to drift away from having friends ... so many things require time from grown males that seeking 'guy friends' is of the lowest priority
Paisas are closest society of the country... they don’t even open to other Colombians... they are very nice but are not open to others. It’s their culture.... but that is not how people are in the rest of the country.
I've been living in Sao Paulo now for over a year and I can truly attest that this is a great place to make friends as an adult, people are really open to making new friends and inviting you to social events, they're also really curious about foreigners. Although I only spent a month in Medellin before, I felt like Colombian friendliness was a bit of a myth, in my experience they were polite at best, the men were nice(that's not really saying much though since I'm a woman). I felt a bit of hostility from the women though, some dirty looks and a certain sense of arrogance. Very different from my experience in Sao Paulo, here a got invited into social groups almost immediately. Brazilians are built differently honestly.
I’m going out of my way to say hey and hi and try to make good lasting impressions and connections with locals when I come over and if they’re not interested then I’ll just try the next :D beware Colombia you have a friendly gringo coming soon that will be trying to make friends and saying hello! ❤🇨🇴
Relationships (love or friendship) are build on interaction. People who share similar interests make groups around some common topic; with time, and if you share a little more of you, you'll find out people are closer without noticing it. Western societies invented individualism and it is stronger in big cities, thus isolation. In small towns it's easier to get acquaintances and grow friendship. So, move to a small town or build a small community in a big city. Stop thinking that those hundreds or thousands of "friends" you have in FB are really your friends. Friends are the people that stays through your life. Also, don't wait people to include you in a group, ask people to join you in your activities, sharing is key. I have met many people though my life but my real friends don't make a dozen. I know I can ask them for a kidney in case of need and they know they can ask the same from me.
hey David Im Johni have watched you for a few years and i even went to Colombia Cartagena and i cant believe your still there ! i feel like you have to get lucky or know how psychology and use it to your advantage ! but once you meet a true friend he will make you feel at home ! but i can tell you it aint ez for a gringo there !
Go the the barras de calisthenia at Estadio and you can make local friends really quickly, same at las barras/ gimnasios al aire libre at Tres Cruces and Envigado.
I’ve had the same problem in Villavicencio David but I really don’t have many male friends in the US either. Only business friends as I’m a businessman.
I think it's also just life as you get older as a man. We just don't generally make deep friendship. Get involved in groups and it takes time. Also you need to be intentional and being in a big city doesn't help either. The language barrier is definitely going to make this complicated.
If someone has already said it I am sorry however, you have to make sure you have the right shooting angle as in a Sun's location to your camera. The sun was shining directly into the screen.
This is an issue for men over the age of 25 the world over. That’s the age when life trajectories tend to divert widely with regard to career, marriage, children, etc. Everyone is on their own path at that point. You don’t have nearly as many common interests with other men as you do during high school and college. This is why it’s important to build social groups around hobbies/activitites. That way everyone involved automatically has a common interest.
Amen to that
well said, it's a hard truth to swallow though
Well said
I think most people over 25, even 20, here in Colombia is very busy working or making family life, so yeah that it is. They remains all life into the group of school or their hobby, but after 25 there is not many people searching for "friends", true friends like David explains. Is some weird, if you ask me, search for friends, the people is suspicious and not many have time to new people. If you do not have already a group of friends before 25 or even before, it is very hard to try to enter in a group, except to the family group of your girlfriend, or the group of your work. Maybe paisas are more closed to foreigns and people of other parts of the country, too, idk, but the main reason is the age and the busy life. Some man of more of 25 that is too much friendly seems weird.
So true. That’s when all my male friends disappeared cause they got involved with a woman. I actually don’t mind being alone, I travel by myself and it’s fun.
Honestly, this applies to most big cities but people never notice because in their home country they have developed a core group of friends already so they never notice.
This. David is just getting old. Making new friends is harder as you age since there isnt forcing functions like School or College. Workplaces dont have the same dynamic.
I suck at making friends in my native language (English), but in Colombia I found it much easier despite my Spanish not being that great. Granted I had the benefit of being in high school so being forced to see the same people everyday helped.
But it was a lack of a certain sense of self-consciousness and social anxiety which plagued me in the US. In Medellín, I felt all my weirdness/awkwardness was assumed by others to be the result of my tenuous grasp on Spanish as opposed to some failure of my character or from not enough socialization as a kid. I found it quite freeing.
Thats quite interesting... I'm happy for you😊
If you move and don't have a group of friends already from childhood. Then, rather than trying to join their group (their fun basically) try creating your own group (your own fun). People don't want to risk their whole social group falling apart because they invited some stranger (completely understandable). Here's how you go about making your own friend group:
1. Make one (or more) friend by showing up to the same place regularly and being social (activities, classes, school, etc.)
2. Invite this person to other things, when doing these activities YOU be the guy who invites strangers
3. At least half the time you won't fit this stranger you invited person in to your friend group, but when they do start inviting them
Eventually you'll have grown quite the group. But what is important to realise is that YOU are the connector. You are the glue that keeps the group together. Most people expect it to be like when they were kids where they don't really have to put in any effort but still have a bunch of great friends. Not how it works in adult life, you must put in effort and be the person who invites. Then, as you grow your social circle you'll notice the other people who are acting as connectors, make an effort to befriend them and you'll invite each-other to things and become a really solid friend group.
Create your own friend group. Good luck.
100% true my brother, I´ve been doing it like this as well and now have friends all over the city who I can always count on... came on this video to also write a text like this one for new people arriving in the city, great input :)
Hey David. I have been in Medellin for 3 months (3 more months to go) to learn Spanish and I definitely agree. It has been very hard to make local friends of the same gender (I have maybe 1 or 2). I feel there is an invisible barrier between us (locals) and them (foreigners). Yes, local people are extremely friendly but profound friendships have been hard to come by... I think the reason you give ("he's only here for a couple of months") makes a lot of sense
Probably because it's a city. And people there tend to be unfriendly. 😑
Learning Spanish will open more doors for you.
Take it easy, they are good friend and better enemies.
David, in Colombia (I don’t know if is the same in other countries in Latin America) but people from the mountains are less open and more uptight, but people from the coast “costeños’’ are a lot more open and relax.
So right. When I visited Barranquilla right before the pandemic so many of them so pleasant and easy to talk to. While searching for artwork I even met the lead dancer of the carnival at the museo cultural and she so nice and talked with me for awhile in my basis Spanish.
When I lived in MDE I trained at the gym often. I made a few good friends there. David, you’re on the right track: Make friends at those locations where you participate in your hobbies/activities… at the gym, at church, at the dojo, at the swimming pool, on the soccer field, at El Estadio exercise complex, etc. I don’t think it is difficult to accomplish, particularly if one -speaks Spanish-… no Spanish or limited Spanish then it is a big impediment… suerte parcero✌🏼
A street smart guy at the gym in Montreal once said that people are your friends for what you can offer. Friends from childhood are the exception.
I think a major factor is probably not being fluent in the local language. Cracking jokes in a language you're not fluent in is really difficult.
I'm pretty fluent. 😊
@@LifewithDavid It also gets more difficult to make new friends the older you get for some reason. I notice the difference from my 20s to 30s. It's probably laziness on everybody's part.
I'm from Medellín and I realized that there is still a lot mistrust about strangers. Foreign or local.
yes!!! after the pandemy. That is also happening here in the US, a lot of social awkwardness
Thanks for your honesty David, it helps a lot of people
I noticed that while visiting Colombia 🇨🇴 especially Medellin. Even though I speak spanish fluently. The gals kind keep to themselves, the only talkative gals were the prepagos😅. The regular gals aren't very friendly unlike other latinas. I think because they don't know you they are introvert or not sure.
You're right,they're to introvert and think they're better than anyone else
Most of my friends that I make are from Venuzuala, cool guys! Its so hard to get in their circle of locals and if they let you in then that’s because you end up paying the bill 😅
Entonces usted es el medio para llegar a un fin, recuerde que muchos venezolanos buscan emigrar hacia los estados unidos, buscaran cualquier forma de irse, si usted es consciente de esa situacion, tambien puede sacar provecho.
In my opinion the older we get we don't have that tight bff friendship as we were when we were kids/teens/young college age person. Once people get married and have kids that's when you really see friends going away as their responsibility is on the family. You may keep in touch or make new acquaintances but is not the same.
Yes
Well said. Especially for men, friends is truly something you create in your youth. After you finish college, you will only make accaintances.
Basically its nearly impossible to make real friends in Colombia. I visit Colombia since many years and the most people there only approach the foreigner to try get any benefit of him or her. Colombians are in general not interested in knowing foreigners. Ok, many women are interested to approach a foreigner man to try marry him and get a better life. But thats 99,9% not a honest approaching. I also realized that Colombians trust nearly nobody and the only have a small circle of people they know. They also dont trust foreigners. The main relationships of the most Colombians are with their family members and not with friends and less with foreigners.
That is 100%. I speak spanish like a native speaker. However, Colombians are always "chingando" people. That is the reason they do not trust other people. It is their survival mentality. Kinds of reminds me of the "chingalo a ellos antes que te chinguen a ti"
Trust is deserved. Thinking that all Colombians want your money projects an image of superiority that we (and I suppose everyone in the world) despise. What you are is more important than what you have.
That's the best short expose on this whole business. I'm an American in Bogota and three years in I noticed everything you said you 🎉
Yeah, that can be very true for most. I've had a couple of relationships where I'm literally open handed but I constantly feel like the trust really isn't there. I eventually move on.
I enjoy these short videos
I think in one video you've been expressing how hard it is to find new topics for the videos - I would like to suggest some things, based on other channels I like since I would like to see this channel grow and not disappear:
- you have someone with interesting job - chef, firefighter, restaurant owner, whatever - and you're showing their typical work day - from when they get up to then they go to sleep
- there must be some interesting manufactures in Colombia - making all sort of stuff available only on the local market - those are usually pretty interesting places
- you're not moving out of Medellin much - it would be to show different places - 1x a week? 1x a month maybe? just cool places or - which I would love to see - beautiful but more secluded places (I LOVED that material about the coffee farmers in the jungle - couldn't find the website to rent the room there afterwards as it was taken down :( - she's available on FB though so I guess will try that)
just some loose suggestions here, thanks for the content :)
Manufacturing would be interesting to me
David looks like Quagmire mixed with handicapped Joe from Family Guy….lmaoooo
Do you have a mental dysfunction? Why do you keep posting this?
What ive realized about paisa's is when you start to make friends you arent part of the inner group initially, you go back to the U.S. then return to Medellin and suddenly you are in the inner circle. It doesnt hurt returning to Medellin with gifts from the U.S.
It's good someone finally made this video. There are all types of people that travel. This has been one of my worries about moving to Colombia in retirement. I don't need many friends, but I very much would like to build some relationships there when or if I do. Imagine it can be hard for you and you speak darn near perfect Spanish. Joining groups is the best way I've heard to make friends, but I would imagine it is still a challenge while you are working on your Spanish. Building genuine friends is what I think will be the real challenge. You were making perfect sense.
I'm from the US, living in Mexico. After high school/college, I've found it almost impossible to make friends of the same gender no matter what country I'm in. It's very easy to make opposite gender friends both in the US and Mexico for me.
Dave, you are an easy person to get along. Colombians are very complicated people with many complejos. Do not let it affect you.
It’s going to vary, you are from Houston like me, 4th largest city in the U.S. , when you get older it’s extremely clicky and most of my friends are married and it’s over, especially with kids. You have some valid points! You have to get out there and it’s difficult depending who you are, age, vibe, language, country. Not too easy but since you are from the states, you are used to it. A lot of lonely people.
I similar to you dave, but a lot older. I realized i’m nice but not extrovert-ly friendly. I have a lot of friends, even a hang tight hangout buddy here and there, but close true friend, just one. I prefer this and don’t feel i’m missing anything.
It's the world we now live in. In the past you'd be in your Medellin apartment with only a tv and radio, almost all in Spanish. So, you'd quickly get bored and go out and meet people, plan activities, eat at little food stands, go to bars, clubs, restaurants.
Nowadays, you've got endless hours of entertainment in your apartment, all in your native English language. You probably go out, get your food, and quickly go back home to eat it in front of your laptop. Or just have food delivered.
If you get rid of the technology you'll go out a lot more and meet many new friends.
Hmm I can't speak for Colombia cause I've never been but I agree with you that it's super easy to make friends in Brazil... as long as you can speak Portuguese. They genuinely are curious about gringos and being from the states they wanted to get to know me better. But some people say that it's harder to make true friendships there, it's more like acquaintances. But that hasn't been my experience.
Everywhere you go, it's the same - friendships change based on priorities. Thats the loneliness that you face when you don't settle down unfortunately. You get to watch others living their lives.
Plenty of married people are unhappy and lonely
@thekid7599its biology. Nature's way
@@baldeagle4710they are with the wrong one
I just love how kind, friendly & genuine you are, David!👍
& I get that I'm one of the, relatively, few women who follow your channel.
but we females DO exist in the 'david-space, LoL!😄 and I could be wrong but I think I might speak for a few of us ladies🤷🏾 who believe you're a decent human being who is truly trying to help others.
and maybe it's mostly males? but that's ok! because much of your material - the advice & wisdom you share - can be applied to ALL people.
so, not only to random travelers but also potentially troubled ex-pats & potential adventurous innocents [including *new* travelers & *new* ex -pats].
so, definitely, please *do* keep up the good work, my brother..and as always, looking forward to your latest uploads + all we can catch up with in between the new ones from your days & adventures past!🤸🏾♀️🤸🏼🤸🏽♂️🤸🏻
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
& I don't want to forget!:
a big shout out to Natty! [please forgive if I misspelled her name?/nickname?🥺].
because like her, as much as I, myself also have absolutely NO interest in being seen..
I can absolutely see the possibility that, at least, SOME of her shared wisdom, as well, makes into some of your awesome videos!🧚🏾♀️✨🔮🌟💫
Hey David, I think is a little bit of everything. You're not outgoing, Foreign etc. I know because I have the same issue. I'm from Colombia, Cali and at first it was difficult. It still is but I'm getting better at navigating it. I live in the US and at first it was hard making new friends for me, (females) but once I started going to school, (college) then work I started making friends. It takes going to the same place consistently, as mentioned above. I made some friends at the gym too. but I was going there for a long time, same schedule, same classes. Also, once you make friends and they invite you, you have to invite them too. Initiate, say invite them over your place, cook something or do potluck or to watch a game. If they invite you once then the next time you have to ask them, say hey let's go to a movie. Say for example, I listen to what the other person likes, then next time I'll say, "I know you like hiking, I found this new place to go" and pack some snacks. but you can't just wait for them to ask you out. Making new friends is almost like dating. You got to have things in common and make yourself interesting. They'll want to hangout cuz you can't cook or you're good at something. That's just how it is. I know they have meet up groups, join that. Also, you don't have an 8-5 job or regular job. People build relationships at job, say cuz they struggle together or find they have stuff in common. Friendship is a verb. I'll email you a podcast I recently listened to where a friendship coach was talking about it. There's also a book. I know is a lot but I'm speaking from experience, plus I'm Colombian. :D
In Bogota I went to a language exchange in a nice bar in an upmarket part of town and met a few adult people who wanted to learn and practice their English. I was expecting the place to be full of 20 something backpackers and Colombian university students but was pleasantly surprised to find people in their 30s and 40s as well.
I turned 30 last year and notice that many people are settling down, having kids, and life becomes too busy to prioritize much else outside of the immediate family and long time friends (because for most people at that stage in life, ain’t nobody time to meet new friends). I’d consider myself extremely extroverted, and for most of my life, I’ve found friends in the contexts of things I love doing. Since I was a little kid, I’ve found social refuge in skateboarding. Throughout my 20’s, I served, bartended, and worked at music venues doing videography/photography. I also started training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which was much more socially tailored for adults than skateboarding. When Covid happens, it was like hitting a brick wall. Most of my work shifted to remote based editing, Jiu Jitsu academies closed, and in the years since, I’ve found my priorities (as with everyone else my age) have shifted dramatically. It’s become distinctly more difficult to build real friendships in the absence of a lifestyle that in all consumed by socially stimulating work and athletic activities.
Skateboarding is now my work and main social out, but coming from Colorado, USA which has brutal winters and generally unpredictable weather all year, this really started to wear on me last winter, since most people aren’t down to skate when it’s 27 degrees outside and snowing.
Because of this, I went to Medellín last January to get a break from winter and only planned to stay for 2 weeks. Day one, I went to Vigaskatepark in Envgado, where a non skate related friend who lives in Medelliín, introduced my friend who I traveled with to one local skaters who is one of the top female skateboarder in the world right now. Long story short, day one, she invited us to go skate with the guy who started/operates Vigaskatepark, and for the next month, they’d they’d take us all over Medellín, showing us the best skateparks and spots, and we spent a lot of time hanging out at their houses, eating dinners, watching skate videos, going out to restaurants/bars, salsa dancing, and taking to us to skate with all of their friends who have now become our friends as well. After Medellín, I even went on a road trip to Bogotá with the guy from Viga and basically did a lot of similar skating activities there. We slept at one of the park owners house the first night, stayed in an Airbnb together the rest of time, and then we spent 3 days in Fusagasugá filming an international contest before I went home (6 weeks total trip). I’ve traveled to several regions around the world, but have never had this kind of social experience before...
The full story is insane, but as a result of all this, I’m now looking at moving to Medellín.
Now, obviously this is extremely unique and lucky, but I’ve found throughout my life, that if you get involved with sports (particularly sports like skateboarding, or martial arts, which are extremely difficult to get good at, and therefore means, if you are showing up every day to the same places, putting in that hard work, eventually (quickly) you’re going to meet people, and by the time you get good at the actual craft, you’ll realize you have at least a couple friends you’ve built throughout that time, and have an identity and craft you can take with you anywhere in the world to meet more friends.
In my opinion, I think Jiu Jitsu and other MMA focused arts are excellent outlets for adults.
Skateboarding is of course encouraged for all as well, but it’s not as approachable for adults starting out. However, if you get the inclination, stop by Vigaskatepark in Envigado sometime, as they have a ton of programming for all ages (if you do, tell them Tao Skateboarding referred you ☺️).
For me, Medellín is most enticing for the skate scene and abundance of Jiu Jitsu academies, so if none of those things seem appealing, then I’m not sure how to approach this in a way that aligns with your unique interests, but hopefully the logic/general approach is gives you some things to consider! ☯️🤘
Amazing story and I don’t even need to imagine it because I’ve lived many similar experiences because of a skateboard. I think if more people were skateboarders, the world would be a better place. There is no community like the skateboard community. I questioned myself a lot lately if I’m too old to be skating but your text just reminded and reassured that I’m not! I’m in Brazil right now but we should link up, next time I’m in Medellin. I’ve been dating a girl for 10 years that’s from there so I go out there often. Peace
It's essential to find comfort in oneself and cultivate close connections with a select few; everything else will follow naturally. Moreover, in Colombia, some individuals can become overly reliant. If you get too close, they may begin to see you as a resource, constantly seeking favors or loans. Focus more on the quality of friendships rather than the quantity.
I made friends with a tour guide in el pablado free walking tour. It was my birthday, and he used to work at the bar that has the gringo Tuesdays. Was a wild time . We keep in touch 1 year later discussing culture, travel, and our mutual love for weed ❤
weed stops friendship stops
I've seen it many times
@@havaianas5780 not sure what kind of world you live in bro 😎.
Get Married and Move Back to the USA !!! Opportunities are more here !!!
It’s just because it’s a big city. Go to smaller places. I’ve been to a ton a pueblos and made friends just about everywhere. I don’t drink, drug or chase hoookkers. The farther you are from that behavior the easier it is to make a quality friend. Language groups. Gyms. Walking tours. Churches. Volunteer groups. Meetups. Good luck.
It’s not Colombia it’s an age thing.
Friendships have to be mutually beneficial as an adult , there’s no point in hanging out anymore
Sounds dark and selfish 😂
It’s also a man problem , women are more social as adults,they do lunch and cofeee etc
I have been in Bogotá for quite some time and they invite you into their group there. You can however also get into groups in Medellín but that only seems to work if you are a person who starts to talk with others on their own when visiting places.
Hi again David. It's not just you. All of my family is Colombian but my brother & I are 1st generation USA. My family stick together like glue, and they don't allow anyone in their "friend"(family) circle unless they will become part of the family. They are from Cali. Also, there is a culture difference between my brother & I & the rest of the family. They connect better because of their Colombian roots, culture, jokes, traditions, that Americans just don't know. That creates a separation I believe between us between foreigners & locals. Just harder to create close connections.
Cant wait till your next video. best content creator on TH-cam
Hey David. I totally understand your situation. I had a friend/w Benifits lol. and that happened to me. I had a docent circle of friends because of her, but when we ended the relationship for X reason. So did the circle of friends. I did make another group text f friends at a social club. Swingers club. Lol. And what’s cool about that, is that their open way of thinking makes it easy to stay friends. But your right about the complexity of making guy friends. Thanks for the videos. Enjoy watching them. I will be headed back soon. I retired last May and will be looking into making Medellin my second home or investing in something small. But that’s another topic. Stay safe brother. Saludos.
For me it’s because everyone is so busy. Everyone’s trying to make money. I have friends but it’s kinda different than the USA when you hang after work and such. I know what you mean. It’s a superficial type of friendship.
I can definitely understand why it would be difficult for a foreigner to make same sex friends… particularly if they’re only in the country for a short while and don’t speak Spanish (as you said)…. But you speak Spanish fluently, have had a Colombian GF for a while now, and have lived in the country for 7 years! Locals should know by now that you’re not the typical gringo! Strange… but as you also said… if you never go out and aren’t good at keeping in touch… tough to build or maintain friendships that way.
There are at least a half dozen (probably way more that I don’t know) TH-camrs who are in Colombia and speak Spanish in spite of the fact that they’re foreigners… none of you guys get together? Those guys that do the “‘Medellín Masterclass”? Or Sam who you chatted with on your channel before? Seems that those would be ideal guy friends to have. People with tons in common with you. Lots of shared experiences who also love the country and culture. Maybe that might be a place to start?
Foreigners in Colombia are usually from western countries and they tend to keep to themselves. It's the same in their own countries, they move around across a huge country and never even keep a core group of friends "physically" close by. That explains why they don't seek each other out, they are out there doing their own thing. Plus if they're in Colombia they might be even less interested in establishing a western group of friends.
You are right about what you are saying.I have been living here in Medellin for one year and five months and I don't have any Colombia friends in Medellin. Colombians especially in Medellin are very distrustful especially for foreigners. My girlfriend is from the coast of Colombia and she has the same problem here in Medellin.
I see where David is coming from - having been here nearly 2 years I only have probably at the most - 2 or 3 guys i'd consider actual friends and not just acquaintances. they very much stick to their childhood buddies. As a man, here, I found that women are easier to make friends with...but like with any friendship, you have to put in the effort. that means keeping in touch etc.
I feel you David. I think part of it is you. It takes time and commitment to establish those friendships. You seem to me to be very independent. Another thing about you is your handsome and intelligent. That puts a lot of people off or they can feel insecure. Natives that are handsome and educated many times are the group leaders be default. Just my thoughts. It takes time to build those common bonds that come from shared experiences.
Been saying this for a while too.
As someone that has been living for 6 months per year on and off since 2021 in Colombia, I felt like Paisas are the easiest to make friends with. Folks that I always keep in touch with and hang out with once I'm in town. Cartagena is a very social place and I've met lots of cool folks but it's hard to make solid friends as people come and go.
I speak fluent Spanish as well so maybe that helps. In fact, I often present myself as a "Latino" opposed to a Gringo first.
Yes, difficult for all those reasons plus viewer comments. Also, it gets more difficult with age. Btw, I like your channel because ou create authentic and useful content rather than simply walking around filming women and using click bait thumbnails. Keep up the good work.
Yea this is pretty on point. My boyfriend is from SanMa and moved to Medellin about a year ago and hasn’t made any real friends outside of his roommate tbh.
Hi David! I would love to see you leave Colombia, and move to the Philippines. I understand the people from the Philippines are some of the nicest people and friendliest on the planet! A lot of TH-camrs go to the Philippines and get many subscribers to grow there channel. 🤩✌🏻
I’ve joined to 2 social cultural expat groups in Medellín. We pick coffee & learn coffee; do Guatepe; many restaurants and movies , Orchids Jardin botanical, flower farms. Done guys only birthday parties- -> HOOTERS. And etc. Live at 7 bedroom Airbnb with 6 other roomies. Usually 3 girls and 5 guys from various international countries and from Colombian pueblos and cities.
It happened to me once. I was riding my motorcycle. Alone. At the viewpoint, some random colombian folks invited me to enjoy their ride. They were like 20sh, from Medellín! 🎉🎉
I agree Paisas are very close minded in allowing outsiders into their social Circle. However, I had a completely different experience in Cali
I totally understand your situation David. I stay long term at Philippines and Country of Mexico. Grew up in the states since I was a kid. I simple do not speak Spanish at the level of a native Mexicano. I am consider a gringo, or norteño. Pero ni modo, así fui mi historia.
Saludos Compa
Life as an introvert is rough, have been like that all my life 😢
@7:02 I live in Florida and that’s exactly how it is there. There’s a group in Sarasota that refuses to be friends with anyone that isn’t from Florida for the exact reasons you described.
@12:14 it’s happened to me but not in Medellin.
David, if you want friends ya gotta be a little outgoing. I’m not a social butterfly either but I seek out the folks I want to befriend. I’ve had moderate success and my Spanish is horrible.
You’re in a famously dangerous city with a violent past that’s dealing with a huge influx of gentrification. I believe a lot of Colombians are still dealing with the lingering trauma of past violence because From what I’ve experienced, Colombian people are awesome. Big cities are always difficult to make real friends in. Go to a city that doesn’t get gringos and you’ll be shocked how curious and friendly they’ll be to you.
Been a fan for a while. Let me know if you want to meet some folks in Pereira or Manizales!
Sounds like Philippines as well. Love seeing the old David back on the streets, we missed you man big time bro. I had no idea Wes had separated from his wife have not followed him for some time now
Wes is a child
I think it's just part of getting older. Try doing something like jiujitsu; if you see the same guys 3x a week, and suggest a regular weekly get together for beers or something.
Don't worry David. Even we as colombians have a hard time making friends with paisas. I had that conversation many times with friends here in Cali and some others that often travel there. They are good and proud people but I think what makes them different is that they keep what they consider bad to themselves, that also could mean that if they don't like or distrust you they will keep their distance. Maybe the history of violence has something to do with that as well.
Very good point. Thank you for the comment
Eso sucede en todo el pais, no solo en medellin, busque amistad con los pastusos y me cuenta como le va siendo un extraño.
@@cristianloquesea con botella en mano no se me ha dificultado jajjaja. Que gente tan bacana
@@calimio6 amigos no compinches.
@@cristianloquesea ta bien
I think it's you David. I was able to make acquaintances everywhere I went.
Acquaintances are easy. True genuine friends and become part of the group, a bit harder.
I lived in DR for 5 years and I explained the same thing . In DR it’s something called “Mirrors for Gold” have you heard that there in Medellin?
They probably see you talking to yourself while holding your phone and figure, "he's at his capacity and doesn't have any space for new friends". 😄
Jajaja true!!
I live in Michigan (as a German). Approaching 10 years. I have some international friends. But not a single American (as in: born & raised in Michigan).
People are very closed and narrow minded in regards foreigners. Don’t get me even started with dating. Besides that Michigan is an absolute extreme tough dating environment, I didn’t manage to date a single (!) American girl in the past 10 years. I dated Brazilian, Italian, Russian and other German girls but not Americans as a foreigner.
Parce, while you're right, I feel that's the same everywhere. People make their tight inner circle while growing up, usually your closest friends are from elementary school and high school, maaaaaybe college/university. But once your past your school years, and past your teens and 20s, making new friends, close good friends, is tough man.
Yes, I'm 33 and my very few friends are those I've kept up with since childhood.
as we get older, and in many cases busier it is harder to make friends, it isn't impossible but you need to be flexible and persistant, you might have to make a few overtures before someone who likes you will make room in there lives, and just like any relationship it takes work, especially if you can fall back on old childhood bonds
In Barranquilla people is super friendly and open. Regarding foreigners still worth to connect with them specially if they are living long term in Colombia for example people married to Colombian nationals or raising kids in Colombia
I noticed this too, it is extremely hard to make friends with Colombians. The majority are friendly but in the sense to be polite, not to actually get to know you, at least that is how I view it.
Hi David how are you , remember us from Panem Sabaneta ? Yes David, you are completely correct it's very difficult to make true friends in a foreign country and especially when you want to talk about your youth or your home country and this will always stay superficial , this is something you have to forget about , it's the same when a local talks about his past or youth and this will never be the same when you talk to an old school friend , I was born in the Netherlands but I lived my youth in South Africa for more then 20 years , in 1967 I started to go to school (African) and here we went bare feet no shoes this was normal in this country and for us this was the best time of our life's , these are things you can't talk about to a foreigner or jokes from your youth or country they don't understand this and that's the same for us , I lived in more country's but it's all the same, once a extranjero always a extranjero no matter how hard you try , This is what I have accepted and you must ... to make life easier , I can imagine to get a foreign girlfriend even for me at 62 years old man would not be a problem at all besides I look like a Gringo con mucho dinero , anyhow we love Medellin and true the locals are very friendly but true friendship to a certain extent , If I knew then what I know now I was better off staying in my own country South Africa but like I said I have to live with this and accept it , David take care and be strong we have seen a lot of the world and that's what counts Greetings Saludos ,September we will be there again 👍👍
I am from Medellín and have been in the States on and off for almost 20 years, half of my life, and I can tell you that I feel the same as you. I have met people here, acquaintances and such but was never truly included in a group of friends, and I mean, Americans. The only real friends that I have had here are other Hispanics. I have a French friend who lives in Barcelona and he tells me that the only people he has truly had as a close group of friends are Italians and other French. I feel like it is the same in many places, even the most cosmopolitan ones. Locals stick to locals. Unless you grew up in that place and speak the language almost without an accent and have adapted 100% you will most likely not be truly accepted into a close group. However, I also have a friend from Mexico who has lived in half a dozen places in the world, all the way from China to Austria and Norway, and he has always been able to make good connections. Your personality is key but also the culture. I can tell you that Medellin is a very closed society, close groups of friends who have known each other since childhood stick together. It all goes back to the violence of the '80s, '90s, and 2000s when trusting outsiders, and I mean other Paisas that you did not know, was risky. I lived in Buenos Aires and went to school there for 1 year and that is about the only place outside of Colombia where I was included 1005 on a group of friends, but it is probably because I know Argentinian culture and was in school with them every day.
You can easily make friends in the gym or you join a football club. But don't go to some hipster gym, pick one where the dumbbells are rusty and the people are genuine
I think that Dave brings up some good points. Probably the main the reason is the foreigner and language barrier aspect. Why get to know someone really well when they are going to leave in a few months? But I think the phenomenon of difficulty many friends is a global thing. I find that it is easy to make friends with women, because as a guy, I'm not into stereotypical guy things like sports, cars, boxing, so I find it harder to relate to some guys. Whereas with females, I can have longer, drawn out discussions, whereas it seems to me like guys don't typically like to do that. Well, I have mostly online friends or penpals, so not sure if that applies in real life as well.
I do find that Brazilian people are also pretty open people and more friendlier than the average country. But not sure if they are easier to become best friends like any other country. It's easy to make acquaintances but hard to make real friends, someone you can call at 4 am and have to rush over to your house in a heartbeat. Also I think that keeping in touch with current friends is a hard too and takes a lot of time and effort. If you stop talking to people, they will stop talking to you, so don't be surprised. Some of my online penpals, I only talk about once every month or 3 months. But when I do, I send a full essay updating on my life and anything interesting that happens. I takes a long time to write and talk, but it is worth it to preserving and continually build that friendship. You can't expects others to ask you out or invite you all the time. Sometimes, you have make the plans and ask others out.
I think it's kind of ironic that Dave is have troubling making friend in columobia because he was saying that was the reason he left TExas, because everyone was in their little bubbles in the US. And it's seems like Dave is saying that it is the same in columbia. If you flee a country, you'd have trouble making new friends and you lose all of your old friends, doesn't sound great
Good points. I feel better here because even though I spend some time alone, I don't feel alone. More people in the streets, more going on. Big difference to me compared to where I'm from.
Well there is the language barrier to most expats. Beyond that, you have the cultural barrier as well. Also, you only have so much time in a day, so even if you wanted to have lots of local friends, you couldn’t. Finally, If you’re male, you will have an additional level of difficulty making solid friends vs a female.
Odds are stacked against White American Males who only speak decent Spanish.
If your very social you can make friends easily like I did !
it takes years to form friendships. Friends aren't cheap, it cost a lot of time to be someone's friend....to earn their trust....for them to even like who you really are. It takes years.
He's been here for years, though.
he opens the video up by admitting it might be his fault, he's "not a social butterfly". There's no magic bullet to making friends. It just happens over time.....like years. But if you aren't social then you'll never make friends. I would also comment that there is some resentment towards gringos in general, around the world. So Americans aren't every foreigner's top candid from intimate friendship. Not all, but some. @@taylakurner
I think you got traumatized when you got robbed on your bike and now you have trust issues, hey it normal to feel that way after such event David
I'm good now. I've been this way my whole life, never was a social butterfly. Lol
I have some great Colombian friends that feel like family to me. I've been here for almost 6 years, and like someone said below, it takes years to build friendships - the meaningful ones that you're talking about. I was lucky that I was able to put in the time. With that said, I met these friends in another Colombian city, not Medellin, so maybe that's why it was easier. But instead of waiting for Paisas to invite you into your group, start inviting them places.
May I ask which city is that? I am in Armenia freshly landed and have great expectation to make good friendships. I'm loving it so far.
Medellín has changed A LOT, it was a lot better back in the old days before the word got out. I'm speaking of the early 2000s to early 2010s. Poblado and Parque Lleras was literally the funniest place with hardly any hookers pre 2012. It was a riot back in those days, soooo much fun. And if you were a good looking blonde or brown haired gringo you could get laid like nobody's business back in those days without paying a penny (not hookers). Then all the Europeans started coming in the early 2010s and then the word got out in about 2013/14 and it's never been the same since. Gringos were special back in those days and girls wanted to be with us.
I would say almost as a rule most people in general make their closest friends from childhood into their twenties, and this is the same anywhere in the world. Friendship takes work and time from two people, and in adulthood, who really has time for that? And in Medellin you know its even more difficult, because how much people work there along with family obligations and such, and forget about it, if you don't speak Spanish.
I have been here for three years. I mostly have female friends and sometimes that bleeds over to their brothers. However, I find I don't have a lot in common with most Colombian men. The exception are those at the country club, there making friends seems to be a little easier. I think guards are lowered on both sides.
I have lived in Latin America 26 years this January , I will add that Columbia is not as bad as many other places I have lived (not to say it's good , just not the worst) and the second point having a girl friend or wife is absolutely no guarantee her family will ever invite you into their clik . You could very well find that your best social interactions are with your barber (if you are feeling lonely and shut out , go get a hair cut).
sounds like a you problem, my gf family loves me and i sopend time with them every week
@@amandaburleson2035 sounds like my worst nightmare
Going to the barber is actually great for that - worldwide.
@@gringoofcandamo sorry they dont like or respect you!
@@amandaburleson2035 wow you’re so refreshingly riude 😂
Move to Pereira, but don't become friends instantly with every stranger. Take your time to analize and pick.
I haven't had much trouble making friends that are guys but we all have a common interest, we're very serious about learning English/Spanish. I heard of someone else taking martial arts very seriously and that worked out too.
It’s definitely a paisa thing, and not just with foreigners but also with other non-paisa Colombians. Paisas (I’m generalizing obviously, but ask any Colombians and they will say the same) are pretty close-minded, and this go back to historical reasons when the paisa region was very isolated. Paisas are very, I mean VERY regionalistic and the like to stay together in their group. It also happens with business, I’m not saying that they never don’t, but they tend to, they prefer to do business with other paisas. It is what it is. PEACE
Exactly 🎉right on. Three years in and no real friends.
Hi David. I’ve been to the mainland a couple of times. However, I’ve been to the island of San Andres many times and actually ended up purchasing property there on the island.
I have found that I do have a small handful of people that I truly consider friends, even though I don’t live there. I only spend part of my time there. Nonetheless, I have developed a couple of really good friendships.
That being said, the vibe on the island is definitely different from that of the mainland. I don’t have a lot of experience with making friends and connections on the mainland.
With respect to San Andres, however, I have formed some good friendships, despite not even living there full-time. There are a couple of key people that have my back when I need them, and vice versa.
I have a local friend who actually invited me into his home and introduced me to his mother and his siblings. This is an extremely rare occurrence for a foreigner, especially for a gringo like myself.
Since 2020, my good friend from Sam Andrés ended up moving to Panama in order to secure the work he needed. In the meanwhile, he hooked me up with one of his brothers who still resides on the island. His brother took me out on his lobster boat. He has a lobster boat and a crew of about four or five men. They go out during lobster season to secure lobster which they then sell. It was quite a unique experience. No tourist will ever receive this level of closeness.
I also have another friend whom I hung out with and who brought me to one of their local “bars” in one of the neighborhoods in which the locals live.
This is a place that no tourist would ever get to see or even know about, let alone set foot in. I was welcomed by his group of friends in such an amazing way. It’s hard to describe. Suffice it to say, they were very warm and welcoming of me.
Again, this is my experience, and it is one which the average tourist or gringo would not be privy to.
I really have a couple of truly good friends on the island of San Andrés, Colombia, even though my wife and I don’t live there.
I understand where you're coming from David, but you said yourself that you like to keep to yourself. You gotta make the extra effort initially, when you're the outsider. Not sure if you are fluent with Spanish yet, but that seems obvious bc its the only way to have deep conversations with people and really connect.
Also, you have 35k followers on this channel, some of which are Colombian. Alot of people like your videos. You gotta understand what a large microphone you have. Use this tool --- Why not start organizing meetups and events? Wander around with David and explore Medellin for 2 hours every week. happy hour with David. Stuff like that can explode exponentially if you give it a chance to. Do a public callout on your next video to invite local Paisas on your show to suggest new places to see in Medellin or Antioquia. The world is your oyster brother
I have my house in a lower estrato Barrio in Medellin and there I have made friends, but only one is a close relationship. Most stick to their family or friends they've known for many many years.
David you are a foreigner. Best thing is if anyone is going to travel to the USA they ask you questions. That's the best thing you can expect
Thank you for this meaningful video about making same sex friends in Medellin.
Despite your observations and experience, I encourage you to remain confident that you
are a caring and very decent person. These qualities are not easily recognized in expats
who may be perceived as coming to Colombia for what they can get. Like you have reported
in previous videos, Colombians are on a whole are very polite. Breaking through this veneer of
civility to meaningful friendship as an expat is more than a notion. May I suggest seeking
other venues to meet people, more specifically, volunteer work which serves the needs of
people who would greatly benefit from your time and effort. Working alongside Colombian
men who are on a mission to run a soup kitchen to feed the poor; or as a volunteer fire fighter;
or helping the homeless there in some way. Men in Colombia, like anywhere else, have
important causes they deeply care about. As an American expat, you have a lot to bring to
the table. Working along side native Colombians who are on a mission to serve urgent needs
of their community, would give you access to knowing people in a deeper way than social
venues rarely do.
If it wasn't for the fact that i worked for a company in Colombia, I would've been screwed friend-wise. People love making relationships at work, both platonic and romantic
it's just natural for 30+ year old males to drift away from having friends ... so many things require time from grown males that seeking 'guy friends' is of the lowest priority
Paisas are closest society of the country... they don’t even open to other Colombians... they are very nice but are not open to others. It’s their culture.... but that is not how people are in the rest of the country.
I've been living in Sao Paulo now for over a year and I can truly attest that this is a great place to make friends as an adult, people are really open to making new friends and inviting you to social events, they're also really curious about foreigners.
Although I only spent a month in Medellin before, I felt like Colombian friendliness was a bit of a myth, in my experience they were polite at best, the men were nice(that's not really saying much though since I'm a woman). I felt a bit of hostility from the women though, some dirty looks and a certain sense of arrogance. Very different from my experience in Sao Paulo, here a got invited into social groups almost immediately. Brazilians are built differently honestly.
I actually think you're right maybe in Medellin, in Cali I have some really good friends actually.
I’m going out of my way to say hey and hi and try to make good lasting impressions and connections with locals when I come over and if they’re not interested then I’ll just try the next :D beware Colombia you have a friendly gringo coming soon that will be trying to make friends and saying hello! ❤🇨🇴
Relationships (love or friendship) are build on interaction. People who share similar interests make groups around some common topic; with time, and if you share a little more of you, you'll find out people are closer without noticing it.
Western societies invented individualism and it is stronger in big cities, thus isolation. In small towns it's easier to get acquaintances and grow friendship. So, move to a small town or build a small community in a big city. Stop thinking that those hundreds or thousands of "friends" you have in FB are really your friends. Friends are the people that stays through your life. Also, don't wait people to include you in a group, ask people to join you in your activities, sharing is key. I have met many people though my life but my real friends don't make a dozen. I know I can ask them for a kidney in case of need and they know they can ask the same from me.
this 👆
hey David Im Johni have watched you for a few years and i even went to Colombia Cartagena and i cant believe your still there ! i feel like you have to get lucky or know how psychology and use it to your advantage ! but once you meet a true friend he will make you feel at home ! but i can tell you it aint ez for a gringo there !
Go the the barras de calisthenia at Estadio and you can make local friends really quickly, same at las barras/ gimnasios al aire libre at Tres Cruces and Envigado.
I’ve had the same problem in Villavicencio David but I really don’t have many male friends in the US either. Only business friends as I’m a businessman.
I think it's also just life as you get older as a man. We just don't generally make deep friendship. Get involved in groups and it takes time. Also you need to be intentional and being in a big city doesn't help either. The language barrier is definitely going to make this complicated.
If someone has already said it I am sorry however, you have to make sure you have the right shooting angle as in a Sun's location to your camera. The sun was shining directly into the screen.
Only noticed that once I uploaded. My bad.