As an ENFJ. I am a major people pleaser to a fault and have been subtly used by others. I definitely need constant external validation and lots of communication!
As an ENfJ the paranoia with people betrayal is usual based on past relationships that caused a lot of pain. Trust damaged is hard to heal, love does heal it, takes time.
As an INTP, I can safely say Ti does not equal intelligence. Just because Ti is your inferior, doesn't mean you aren't smart. There are many different kinds of intelligence and skill.
ENFJ here. I definitely need my "day in court", to be heard and understood. I hate it when someone misunderstands me or attributes motives to me that are untrue and wont listen to where I'm coming from!!! Also I need reassurance and appreciation for things I do for others. Stop doing things for people they dont really want you to do! How else are you going to know if they appreciate it if they dont say so? Then I am willing to bend over backwards for them IF I know they appreciate it. Otherwise you give and end up being resentful and that is NOT good.
This new to me, need help to understand myself, i thought I'm getting crazy with thought s of being not unstood, not understanding my self either of later
Being an enfj male it sucks having to absorb everyone's vibes , it can be very overwhelming when they have negative energy as i tend to attract people with mental /emotional issues ,lol. i love helping and healing others but also get very paranoid thinking people will betray me or use me 🙏.
I had to learn the bad way, so I started mimicking the INFJs and door slam them before giving them the chance to utilize me. Trust your gut when you feel that bad energy and don't try to fix it, just stay away. That was hard for me to understand in the beginning but it costed me many tears and emotional draining.
Also, being an ENFJ male sucks because in some situations people consider us 'too emotional', and I guess that it is not expected from men in society. There's so much that needs to change in the world...
Sounds harsh, but after looking after many friends with mental health problems and loving them so much and stressing about them so much, I know I can not be their go to person without it having a bad affect on my own health. So if I make a friend and they tell me they have poor mental health, I will show a lot of sympathy but then privately think about if I actually want to be them as a close friend, because once someone is my friend I am loyal and will do everything possible to keep that friendship alive.
Enfj, being enfj. Once you realize that the individual's ego is an illusion, that self is determined by a respectively gathered understanding of community consciousness, and admit that existence is, "an infinite now," Watts,. You turn away from the world. Tell that sad face to turn away from the world. Citing my reference to a watts lecture. I could had told you about that time, the nuns were very forgiving. I no longer imbibe.
I am an ENFJ and have never looked through a spouse's phone (seriously who does this). I have never had a "covert contract" with anyone I've known. I let people know up front what my expectations are of them but temper it with a dose of forgiveness too. People aren't perfect, and many make mistakes. I do feel we should overcome our mistakes and strive to be a better person each day.
they’re kinda similar to infj’s. Loyalty checks, need for recognition from others, alienating people, perfectionists, daily hard time with their self worth, caring/committed, for the people, etc
We just don't dissapear like INFJs. They dissapear and you will never hear from them anymore. Nobody knows why they do it. We ENFJs at least explain if we don't like something about the friednship or relationship.
@@sunnysol805 Read the book "When the body says no" from Gabor Mate. Self worth is not coming from serving others because you can literally die from it, but self-worth is coming from taking challenges of life and loving yourself healthily and meeting your needs. When "your cup is full" you can give to others. People who only serve others and ignoring their own needs mostly develop nasty diseases because their body will say "no". It is simple as that.
A male ENFJ told me yesterday that he has the memory of an elephant. It made me laugh inside. I’m an ISTP and we have natural camaraderie. He offered to teach me some jiu jitsu techniques and we had a little “fun” afterwards. I’ve known him for 6 years and last time I went down this road with him (2 years ago) he very quickly treated me badly. He apologized but I kept my distance until now. I like him as a person. I guess I’m just riding the wave until it hits the shore.
@@CuddleClaw. so people forget that as a ENFJ you are used so much and sometimes the closest people feel the brunt of the situation because we dont feel like our efforts are being welcomed.
@@livylondon1 he is in therapy for BPD. I got off the wave, I didn’t hang with him after that. I decided it’s not worth it and I decided I don’t really like him as a person that much. ISTPs get used a lot too especially when younger. A lot of people do. We all need to learn from our experiences and do what we can to improve ourselves. Learning how to set boundaries has been useful for me.
@@CuddleClaw. YOOOO BPB I have learned the hard way how toxic someone who is not getting help can be with that disorder. I understand I was speaking, i guess from personal place.
I’m an ENFJ and what he says is true. I have trust issues even with closest people to me but I try my best not to think about it by getting some “me” time. Yes, we are all in or all out. It’s black or white. I am not afraid to admit my wrongdoings though. But, retaining Respect despite is a Big Yes. Uh, Covert Contracts... I don’t make them covert. I list down rules and make sure they are understood and known. Haha! I don’t do loyalty checks though (or so I think). Yes, I am kind of forgetful. That’s why I write things down I want to remember and try to avoid areas/things that will make me remember things I don’t want to remember. Worried about self-worth everyday: Uh Yes. :| Yes, it’s super crazy. You got the Words of Affirmation Right. Yes, that’s our top Love Language!
I feel like I was such an enfj when I was a child, but my childhood trauma altered my behaviors from extrovert to introvert that I slowly grow into an infp by the time I'm an adult. It feels like enfj is me being an innocent child. I miss that child.
That happened to me to an extent but I started to flip back when I moved away and started anew. Not saying my experience is representative or necessarily able to happen for everyone.
Reading that is interesting. Since I am an Infp who developed my ENFJ shadow because of circumstances. I really really miss my infp ego as well. I think they might even be the most innocent of all types as well, but especially INFP's 🤔.
I agree with him, I am an ENFJ and it's true about we jump to conclusions and we DO have The cover contracts, even if we don't want to admit it because we see them as bad, but we are judgers and we are very aware of how things "suppose to be right" and the mix of this things gets us into trouble with the people who had broke our contract. I struggle a lot with taking a moment before doing something I FEEL is the right thing to, but being aware of this issue of my personality helped me to take Time before an important decision. Thats the Best advice as an ENFJ to other ENFJ's that I can give: Take your time and try to trully listen to what people is saying instead of taking it personally right away.
I'm an ENFj, and I didn't get to the part of the video about "covert contracts" yet. I can tell you I definitely don't do that. And if you suggested that to my ENTP husband, he'd laugh and say, "Covert? Have you met my wife?" Yeah, I do have expectations about how things should be. But I will tell you flat out. In detail. This may be a matter of maturity level, certainly younger ENFJs with less confidence in themselves may try more covert tactics. More likely, it has something to do with who the ENFJ is dealing with. We deal with different people in different ways, because people are...different.
I value communication, i like helping people, but after doing it for long, you ask yourself whether giving is only from your side....then you start to hate it
@@elizabethkinyuaelizabeth534 Yess...about covert contracts it's like, I help my batchmates as and when I can (no matter how small or big a task is) but not getting a single birthday wish on my last birthday made me sad and I realized that yes I do expect people to do small deeds for me...which can literally just be asking 'how are you?' because that validates my giving nature in a sense but no rather a few will critize me (although correctly) which does make me feel like a doormat at times. But again as givers we don't usually ask for help and need aswell😂 (maybe coz we enfjs find ourselves sufficient to execute tasks) which can be the reason we don't find others helping us often
I am in ENFJ through and through. My number one love language is acts of service. You seem pretty passionate it’s not so I will definitely pay attention but man oh man do I like it when my husband does the dishes.
I love gifts like anyone, but as an ENFJ if you really want my heart to flutter, just take care of stuff without my asking and say things like "hey, let me help". Once a man I had a crush on offered to help with a computer issue and I melted. ;-)
I have a ENFJ friend that has been diagnosed with bipolar and the reasoning was basically the normal reactions and emotions of an ENFJ. It makes me wonder how many ENFJs are wrongly diagnosed as bipolar just because of their natural functions and because they aren't like the majority. My ENFJ friend is just living a normal life now as an ENFJ who finally understands his own personally and his strengths and weaknesses. Medications didn't work for him but understanding his own personally did.
I see a psychiatrist but I have no psychiatric diagnoses....Oh yeah he is an INTJ....yes I typed him to his face because I saw his shadow functions come out on a bad day. Anyways, I have been abused emotionally in the most extreme non-stop way by a guardian.....I go mainly because I have chronic pain and fibromyalgia and I can say everyone should do psychotherapy even if they have moderate issues only. I have met so many intuitive feelers with fibromyalgia and mental health issues and most of the time the mental health issues are not organic rather social/environmental that can be fixed with the right knowledge MBTI can help with along with the right group of friends. Anyways, One side of my family hates my Fe completely and keep in mind I am an ENFJ as well so basically they hate me.....they are all Sensors with Fi as lead or second so they think I am being fake, over dramatic, etc.....the thing is whenever I meet someone and I am with that side of the family they are confused because they are impressed with me and they say that and then my dad or sister undermines me or downplays what I said in the most infuriating way. My psychiatrist does not discuss diagnoses but I have extensive knowledge of psychiatry/psychology/neurology and watched as he ruled out diagnoses and I remember he was stuck on what I intuitively felt was Avoidant Personality Disorder but for sure a personality disorder, anyways he was very obvious with questions that spoke to the primary symptoms of Cluster C PDs....he probably got stuck on this because a parent has obvious Cluster B type personality disorder behavior and traits...I played it cool and then at night emailed him and said "Avoidant Personality Disorder?! Come on that ain't it!". This was the start of many things I did that earned me the "you know you are a piece of work right?" look....
People on the verge of spiritual break through, what James 4 calls spiritual "double-mindedness," look awfully "bipolar." Forgive the English, I tried my best. Please try to hear what I am saying. Those struggling with double-mindedness are not crazy, it would be crazy for them to be numb to what they are processing. The emotions experssed is not the issue, the issue is WANTING to reject the self-harm rejection of God and rejection of his only good ways AND WANTING to stay with the ways of the world they are used to but go against their convictions and newfound revelation of the better there is. Example, those who cry out for justice but actually seek Godless and harmful revenge as they reject allowed justice to take root as the Godly solution. They look "bipolar" as their ideals are not God's ideals. Especially if they express their emotions and they do not seem to logically line up according to how others would expect. You cannot cry out in hate for love. Those who are immature and fighting God can't understand that. Others may see the terbulant cognative disonance and call them crazy, but they are not crazy, they are spiritually unstable and lack faith in following God's will. Their emotions seem all over the place due to their empathy and care, but the truth of God is steady and could anchor them if they surrendered in faith to that, to him. You can't drug a person into understanding God's solutions, you can just numb their reactions so others are no longer disturbed by what's spiritually going on in them. They have to have faith in what they know is right and not go by feelings of compromising solutions, others' opinions validationg them for doing wrong, or their tendency to try to control it all by their internal judging rather than wisdom that's greater than their own. They must surrender to God and accept his feelings and feel those and trust his plan. They struggle because they want to still control things on their own, but the only solution is surrender to an only good God that is greater than themselves and this comes with the realization that they can't help people, only God and his ways can help people. They fight the needed weeping, repenting, surrender and change that's needed and it looks very bipolar as they try to control even God and try to make their will his. Even this world tries to tell people extreme emotoins are wrong and to be drugged for it, but God says it's okay to even be anger, but in your anger DO NOT SIN. "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you." That is from James 4. And this is the solution. But it requires a full surrender. "Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You[d] must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” Nicodemus said to him in his seeking, “How can these things be?” Jesus answered him, “Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things? Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you do not receive our testimony. If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? 13 No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” This is from the book of John in the Bible and it has healed many, many millions, if not billions of people. God is love, his solution, Jesus, is perfect and it is in our own attempts and trying to create the creator that we create what is evil and tumultuous in this world, we need to surrender to God who is only good and not try to be like the Devil himself and make our broken ways a god that we worship and obey even to the point of self-destruction all while thinking ourselves and the broken ideas of this world wise and purpose numbing solutions. Prayers that you hear and understand what I am trying to say, God loves you, and means well and not harm. We just reject him, and the worlds solutions don't actually help us or help make the world better. Don't let the Devil stop you from crying out when you see injustice or delighting in what is good. If he can't get you to sin, he needs you numb in apathy never working through the double-mindedness to get to God's perfect solutions via surrendering to God who is not of this world. Scripture says, the Devil is the "current" ruler of this world, but we are not powerless to him, read scripture for yourself to find out more and how to reject the enemy's attacks. There are people under serious attacks, I am not saying don't get help, I am saying run to the right kind of help. Flee what's actually harming you. Ask God to show you what's really going on and how to go to the good places that can ACTUALLY help.
@@KaymakveMimi i will never go to a doctor to diagnose me, i’m bipolar in the sense of i cant decide like 1 minute i’m like i like this and the next i’m like i dont, my emotions dont randomly change
AMAZING VIDEO - SO ACCURATE, Thank you C.S Joseph!! Especially about; 1) Expecting a lot (almost everything) even without stating this to a partner, just because we know ourselves as ENFJ's that we give 100% and expect the same in return - so true 2) ENFJ's knowing their actions are right, and wondering why everyone else is not acting in the same way 3) ENFJ's needing extrernal validation, affirmation & recognition. Also, insecure about feeling stupid or nervous that other people think we are stupid. I have a few degrees (more than anyone would need) just to fuel my ego surrounding self-worth - also so true. 4) Mistrusting of others and the "loyalty checks" (I admit I've done this.....even if there is no reason to do it in the first place!!) I thought this was about me personally, however it's nice to know I'm not the only one out there who is like this, as it describes me very well!!
The saltiness in this video was too funny 😂 ENFJ here 👋🏻 This video really solidified my suspicion that I’m an ENFJ. I don’t use covert contracts with my hubby. Shortly after we were married it became obvious that I needed to speak directly, which has been really good for our relationship. My mom is an ENFP and my brother an INFP. You can only imagine what that was like...
As a ENFJ I can confirm the self fulfilling prophecy, when I was younger I’d always be on guard with my partners. It felt like a push and pull where I’d question their loyalty to me and in doing so I’d push them away and be like “I told you so”. It wasn’t until I got older and more self aware that I’d have to fight that urge to question loyalty until there were actual tangible red flags. Also, it’s true. All in or all out.... go big or go home lol
Only started at the beginning but it’s already so accurate. I have an enfj husband and his brother is an entj. His brother often hosts for social gatherings but he will make specifically what he’s excited to make, cooking is definitely his artistic outlet and he will often smoke meat although it’s not necessarily what most of us enjoy the most. Not to sound ungrateful, we’re all grateful for the party, and the food is always good, and it’s always important to the entj brother to receive positive feedback from his creation. My enfj husband differs in the fact that he will make something he knows CERTAINLY will blow everyone away. And if someone doesn’t eat the specific protein he’s making, he’ll go out of his way to prepare another protein perfectly just for that one person, praise is also very important as he wants to know everyone had an experience while being served and eating. Also maybe it’s just them, but the entj will have a food line available for everyone to grab from, whereas my husband will individually plate everyone’s food. I will say the entj makes accommodations as well, his wife doesn’t eat pork or red meat so he will make turkey or another substitute EVERY TIME for her and enough for anyone else. And the entj will cook everyone’s meat to their preference if it’s steak for example.Both are extremely generous, hospitable, and take their craft very seriously- just in slightly different ways.
I've definitely experienced a lot of these feelings and experiences as an ENFJ. Great job with your analysis! Now how to get others to recognize that I need that recognition and day in court haha
This is the first analysis of my personality type where I felt I had an explanation for why I fell into an abusive marriage. I have beaten myself up for years since getting out of it. But knowing that we are subtly manipulated, it makes sense to me how I went down that road. I'm actually relieved. Thank you.
What helps me as an ENFJ to get over my natural craving for external validation is to remember a quote from Abraham Lincoln... “Don't worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.”
ENFJs are not walking around thinking they’re stupid, they look for external validation because they believe they are doing a good job and should get recognition. Another thing about ENFJs is that when they are certain about something they will assert themselves as being right. If they have a little bit of doubt in their idea they will either not share it, or they will admit they are not 100% certain because honesty is very important to them.
That's so true about their lack of confidence. My father and close friend are also ENFJ. You can tell they are so smart and can learn things on such a deep level, but they doubt themselves so much that I always have to convince them they can be great at something before they will stop being stagnant and actually try something. I could tell they had a lot of knowledge and talent in certain areas so I had to convince them they were smart and were talented at these things and both are finally doing things they love and are good at after pushing them to try them.
Wow. I listened to this after getting a bunch of feedback that I had some personal work to do. My husband and I listened to it together just for fun, and he agreed that it desribed me perfeclty. This video highlighted every single issue I am struggling with. It was a bit of a reality check, although very useful. Thanks!
This is so accurate. What helped me the most was learning that being forgetful was part of my type. I've noticed over the past few years how forgetful I am and I was really worried about my brain health.
I don't think that's 100% true. As an ENFJ personally I truly would never want to end up in a position like that. And generalizing the type to say that in a whole is just a bit bit upsetting. I actually went to school for the fine arts and make costumes and jewelry accessories for a living as a something while being a stay at home disabled mom. I also volunteer at my older daughter's school from time to time and help the kids out with tons of art projects and have gotten lots of awards for these things but it's secondary. I do it for the kids to help them to see them happy and excited to learn new things. That's why I do it and it's a really awesome feeling. But politics are just not my thing, yes helping people may be but government buisness is not. Even if that buisness is to benefit people. There are tons of other ways I could do those same things you mentioned in that response to your statement in your video without getting paid and still have nothing to do with politics, or a non paid government position. And also still feel like I'm doing the world a ton of good or at least my part. You don't have to be a big fish in the world to get your point across or to do your part, you just have to be yourself with a great idea even if your a small fish in a huge pond. Anything is possible.
I think it’s more we hate the bureaucracy in mainstream corporate worlds. You can get recognition in work for profit, but you gotta play more games, which we hate
I've never searched through anyone's phone or email etc. That is an appalling lack of privacy invasion and my Hero won't let me. I would just 'ask' about what I suspect and read you as you respond. Wouldn't need anymore information than that.
ENFJ here, I'm 4 minutes in. YES! And thanks for the compliments! Because you know that we put so much effort into those parties and it's nice to hear that others enjoy it! Honestly. I put so much effort into party planning and I think about lots of little details and try to tie it all together into one big awesome experience for all haha We like to make things special. This is such a cool description. I used to drink alcohol all the time :( I don't drink since I was baptised into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It was my biggest sin. I also do put a lot of thought into making food for others. Yes. Child Se is awesome, I love having it.
EDIT: Like the ENTJ, I do add many elements to my parties that are because I personally like those elements, and I get disappointed because I think others will like them as much as me, and then they don't. For example, I threw a Harry Potter party. When you walked in the door, you chose a cupcake, took a bite, in the middle of the cupcake was a colour of icing that sorted you into a Hogwarts house. That would place you in the team for the games in the evening. I made an old witchy looking shelf of glass vials, with cork lids, with colourful potions, that were just different alcoholic mixes, with these "made-to-look-ancient" tags that had potions titles written on them, like, "liquid courage" and "luck", and "super strength", so on so forth. Everyone just started drinking them without reading the tags D: Mega cry face.
I'm an ENFJ and found this VERY helpful in understanding my reactions and thought processes. I found so many points of agreement on your descriptions of situations I have experienced. If you have an ENFJ in your life, tell them how much you love them. Give them their "day in court", or you will find a big can of whoop-ass coming your way. If you are an ENJF like me, recognize your covert contracts and either communicate them or get rid of them.. they are made up and in our heads! Thanks so much for your videos.. super helpful!
Wow. Kind of scary how right you are about us. We are incessant planners about everything in life. I joke that I always have a Plan A, B, C and D. Why? Because what if.....? It’s our way of controlling our emotions. Because we are driven by our emotions and the need for internal harmony. That is also why ENFJs are so good at coping. We’ve already planned for the worse. Lol As far as our lack of confidence in our intelligence, that’s true. Even though I’ve been told by people I respect intellectually that I’m intelligent, I still question myself. I think our intelligence and way of abstract thinking is so different (from Sensors especially), that we come across a bit out there. My least favorite people to be around are SFJs. They seem so superficial, judgmental and overly confident imho.
OMGOSH!!!! You ate SOOOO on point!!! I JUST found out that i am an enfj and when you said that we always feel worried about our self worth and feel dumb…….. that is SOOOO me every day of my 44 years of life!!!!! I totally thought something was majorly wrong w me but as you said that i just wanted to cry bc i felt understood and justified (for the first time)❣️ THANK YOU SO MUCH for doing this video ❣️❣️❣️you have NO IDEA what a blessing it is for me right now ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Awesome summarization. I loved the video. I’m definitely an ENFJ through and through. It is true I have cut off a few friends because they called me stupid without even hearing my explanation or reasoning. Which I felt devalued me in a sense. Great post!
Seems to me (as Ti hero) that you are suggesting that ENFJs are unable to differ between knowledge and personal experience, thus ENFJs being horrible Ti users, i.e. being stupid. That's not very nice of you considering that ENFJs hate being found stupid (and you implied it, therefore you found it, even though I called it out explicitly). :o)
As an ENFJ, I have dated an ISTJ and an ESTJ. The ISTJ was so cute because he would remember to remind me of the things I usually forget, and would keep me on track with what we are supposed to be doing. The ESTJ would literally just do stuff for me, like book me in to the doctor and then take me there. Yes. Amazing, Wow. Needed to take a note from his journal. I do believe ISTJ is ENFJ's dual match. Felt it... It really feels like "the other half".
Your Enfj partner always seeks for balance within a relationship in a rather co-independish subtle way,any decisions you are making they might be afraid of bad long time implications which will hurt them as much they will you.Don't take it personally when they are trying to keep tabs and its not that they don't trust you,its just enfj projecting every satuion on a futuristic long term consequences which sometimes is all in the mind.Sorry bro I'm an enfj,this part just caught my attention.
I think the ENFJ is critical because we are easy to be taken advantage of. We have trust issues because of this. You have to give us reasons to trust you. I agree with you about confusing loyalty with mistrust. Loyalty has to be earned, not expected. I'm an ENFJ who is working through trust issues and learning to see the good in people again. Also, using an ENFJ's flaws against them is a bad idea. Like you said, it can result in us being a task master in order to get that person to back of.
Terrifyingly accurate!! Love this...lots of enfj analysis says only the positive angles, but I love that this is real and shows all the negatives as well
Omg! I feel sooo seen and understood. I started tearing up watching this. My therapist recommended me to do more research so I feel less alone that I was taken advantage of because it's common for us if not aware.
Wow thank you for the break down. I needed this. I am new to this and today found out I'm ENFJ. For a long time I have struggled to understand why I do the things I do. And the dark side always terrified me. Now that I know a bit more about it I can be more aware of how to control it instead of it controlling me.
My favorite part of your synopsis is how clearly you articulated the flaws of the ENFJ. I love understanding what I need to improve and supplement in order to make good decisions. Criterion I focus on to find flaws in thinking are: 1) scalability, 2) scope, 3) context, 4) degree (the range of application is not black or white), 5) implications and effects on other correlated factors (the world is a like a spider web, and decisions on one side effect the pendulum on the other side within the ecosystem), and 6) seeking out big picture thought leaders that I trust to serve as a quality control check on how I see things.
Enfj the simple definition for me: 1:47-1:55 How they can make the best parties 2:00-3:18 So basically when an enfj is using fe hero is basically about how other people feels in their value judgement If an enfj sees anyone who is sad or mad idk they will just try lighting the person up and If they can't do that they will just find someone who is fun.
ENFJs are not untrusting of others - in fact it is the opposite. ENFJs over-trust others and have a hard time noticing when they are being deceived. They also avoid conflict where possible. When ENFJs are highly stressed they act differently, perhaps your ENFJ partner is stressed.
Thank you so much for explaining an ENFJ. You did very well I really like your personality. I can relate to everything except I feel with my love language I don’t need people to tell me how good I am! But reminding me of the good things I’ve done for them in my past I am very grateful for.
As an ENFJ I’m fully aware of how forgetful I am, and yet the only time I ever decide to write things down is to make the person talking to me feel like what they’re saying is important to me
I'm an ENFJ. Although I don't find myself in some of the ideas presented in this video, it's good though to see an opinion on ENFJ's from someone who is not ENFJ :) Thanks for that and I apreciate the work you put in this video!
@@CSJoseph , thanks for the reply. Yesterday I did the test again and I'm still ENFJ :) Can you please tell me where can I find the meaning of those Fe/Ni/Se/Ti? It's the first time I hear about them. Thank you!
I am ENFJ and I recognize myself so much in what you describe. So true indeed. Been going through situations of my life while you described, yeah, described me 🤣👍🏾
Hi! I'm an ENFJ and a freshman in the Marketing course! Just wanna say thank you for your hard work in this one! You just summed up my life. And an advanced thank you for the "Sales" topic soon! More power! 🧡
I think I’m more offended if you question my motive or integrity, than my stupidity lol! Yes, guilt feelings, real or imagined do trigger bad decisions, this is good reminder to Chill. Absolutely I give my all to you , but when there’s no reciprocity, the cheerleader eventually runs out of gas & retires, just walks away, just like that ... yep. Great overview, CS, BTW
Dang a lot of what you said is really spot on. I know I have flaws. I think I’ve had one or two “covert contracts”. I think it comes from that idealist vision that end up setting expectations. I will work on that though. My bf is an ENFP and he has to remind me to communicate because I make that mistake. I also do need extra validation, and wish I didn’t depend on it so heavily. I don’t think I have low self-esteem, but I feel this need to constantly improve and be better. And if I feel like I’m falling short... I have to do something about it. Immediately. Thanks for this breakdown. I need to work on some stuff, but I’m happy I have the personality I do. I like making people feel good and heard. I like having a positive impact in people’s live and strive for what I want to see in the world.
I was mistyped as an ISTP, and at the time I was acting like one because I was in an unhealthy state at the time. I'm now getting back to being myself and I can see I'm an ENFJ. 4 of my best friends are ESFJ's and one is ISFJ. I love how they affirm, validate and appreciate me. I adore their Si because they say what I need to hear and remind me of important things. And yes, people sometimes do take advantage of me, and I usually dont realize it until it's too late...usually ESTP's. My "ah-ha moments" take awhile until my Ni/Ti starts seeing patterns, and then I'm angry at myself for letting it happen. ESTP's are notorious for stimulating my Se child function, so much that I can't hardly see anything else, then I'm living in a fantasy world and don't want to escape from it. They eventually do bring out the ESTJ in me, and yes, I crack whip when they use their loyalty checks on me.
Mistyped my father, who raised me as a single parent, as an ESFP… when he is actually an ESTP. This discovery came after having a mental breakdown in front of him after MONTHS of arguing back and forth about how he has been too harsh on me and never gives me recognition, except for once a year through a short text message. I’m the eldest daughter (ENFJ) of two younger sisters who’s mother passed away while i was 7; my dad irresponsibly placed all his obligation of raising my sisters onto me (ESTP’s are so lazy with their Ni inferior). While my dad has strengthened me through tough love, he has also manipulated me more than my narcissistic ex boyfriend of 7 years (ISFJ). He may be the only ESTP I know and.. will be the last. I love my dad but from a far, that’s all I can offer after self-actualizing and seeing all the ways he has abused my benevolence as an ENFJ. Horrible 😞 this is the second huge heated-argument I have gotten in with my father during my 23 years of life and it’s so similar to the first. So grateful for CSJ because he has helped me make sense of the world.. using ESFP tactics on an ESTP is just pure stupidity, dont do it 👀BUT after learning my dad was truly an ESTP, I suddenly resented him a little less. ENFJ’s, just be mindful of ESTP’s 🥺 they really can subtly get what they want from you without you ever realizing it until they have made a mess so huge (typical ESTP flaw) you have no choice but to clean it up, and by then its too late. Much luv. - ENFJ Also, I started delving into CSJ’s content in June of 2023 and I’m writing this post three months later.. helped me make sense the of the people around me as well as myself along this new journey I’m taking into my adulthood.. trying to become the best version of myself & am so grateful for chase helping me do so 😭
I'm an ENFJ and this made soooooo much sense omg. I've always been insecure in my thoughts deep deep down inside but I despise feeling as if I'm stupid or if someone tells me I'm stupid, and I've never met someone or seen someone who has been able to explain this as well as you have. I legit thought no one else would be able to understand this lol. Thank you to my sister for explaining all this stuff to me and introducing it to me and for recommending me to your channel; thank you!
Hmm...are the love languages really set in stone for the types? I am an INFP (or so I think) and I don't care for gifts at all. Touch and quality time is where it's at. I think it has to do with my upbringing. That is how we show love in my family.
WOAH, it's crazy how I could relate to everything you said. More than money and other materialistic things, I want recognition for my efforts. Also, one of the worst things someone can tell me is that I am stupid. It pisses me off a lot and I show a ton of passive aggression when someone doesn't let me explain myself. I do want over-communication and that covert contract thing you mentioned is real. I always want back the care and time and consideration that I give in. Defi need that balance in my head. After watching this video I understand myself a lot better. Also I want to mention that I was amazed with how when someone doesn't hear me out, I somehow activate that ESTJ superego. Wow. That explains A LOT. Now I know why I lash out on people who don't hear my perspective and just say I'm dumb for thinking something or feeling a particular way. You're doing a great job with these videos. I absolutely love them.
So that's why he always forgot so many things.. As an INTJ i used to be so irritated. Because i remember almost everything about him. But now i understand. Thank you Joseph
Great video! I like the ones better where you are sitting (and no wind). That was pretty funny how you described the way they are so suspicious of people's motives. I TOTALLY see this behavior in my boss/friend. She's so funny, always saying "I KNOW so and so's going to do this or that". I'm just like, you don't know that! LOL
"It could be different this time" ahhh so that is how my older sister got away with pranking me for my entire childhood, and I fell for it every single time 😦😅
You are spot on. Thank you for letting me know what I must do! I am too far into my unconscious Te. I need to also validate myself more lol. Man I love working with INTPs.
This totally sounds like me 😳 I also hate when people think I’m stupid. And we can be easily manipulated, that’s why we have trust issues. And the loyalty thing.. pushing people away to check if they come back.. 😂that’s actually a bad thing but it’s true 😅 And we do go all in, at everything we set our minds too. Very black/white. Perfectionists, passionate people. And over communicate in a relationship sounds so good! And being forgetful is one of my biggest traits haha 😄
I like how you put these things out and i'm an ENFJ but i don't try to brand my self a lot cause i know the ego behind that will change me. Because sure some of these are great but we all have our own weakness and strength and that's why being different is okay because again it shows that even if we had all of those things someone out there can either say i have half of those things or not. So sure when i did my personality test i got ENFJ and i used to be full 100 percent till i finally try to be aware of my surroundings and just be me as a person which anyone can like about me or dislike. So those who feels bad about how he talks like hes saying the truth we'll its okay to do that but also don't let it indeterminate you as much just be happy with what you have and just enjoy what life has given you but also yes you can work on those problems as we''ll if you choose to do so.
26:00 we can stimulate pathways of actions that people might take, if there are a lot of possible bad things we just ditch the person, we don’t test. So it is really important that we have someone that shares our idealistic values, someone that would be very far from doing anything worth ditching for. It’s all about possibilities for enfjs.
I listened to your video and learned a lot, then instantly forgot everything besides the impression that with those needs & concerns I'm currently screwed. Have to make time to write out all the points.
😂😂😂 " If you call an ENFJ stupid they will hate you for the rest of their life" 😭😭😭 why are you exposing me. I remember every when, where and who.
👀 why we like this? 😂
Because we enjoy knowledge
Emojis are not helping solving your problem.
Yes true!!
When u go thru Brain Fog u get a resistance to this kind of comments cuz you're Experiencing something that can't be even defined as stupidity anymore
As an ENFJ. I am a major people pleaser to a fault and have been subtly used by others. I definitely need constant external validation and lots of communication!
same
OMG right?
At some point you'll be worn out. Then you'll get to a point where you won't want to give at all, to anyone. 😂 I'm ENFJ, been there.
IKR!!!
Codependency ..Look up codependent personality disorder, or even my videos. I speak about it :D
Experienced, healthy self-esteemed and mature ENFJs seem like one of the most amazing people.
my best friend is an enfj and i literally cannot fault him
Nice prof pic!! You watched The Legend of Zhen Huan?
@@vonnievonv Thanks, yes I have watched it. It's a great show ^^ You can already guess my favorite character from there (,x
Nicohakuu1 is there a way we caould talk more about the drama??? I only seldom know people who’ve watched it!! 🥺🥺
@@vonnievonv Do you happen to use Discord? I would gladly discuss about Legend of Zhen Huan more!
As an ENfJ the paranoia with people betrayal is usual based on past relationships that caused a lot of pain. Trust damaged is hard to heal, love does heal it, takes time.
Yeah, that the same for us INFJ's too
Almost immediately after you said "remember that you're not a bad person and remember you're not stupid." I just about sobbed. Thank you.
I got your back.
SAME!!!! I swear I was just having this conversation about me feeling like a bad person.... AND STUPID!
Dude yea
As an INTP, I can safely say Ti does not equal intelligence. Just because Ti is your inferior, doesn't mean you aren't smart. There are many different kinds of intelligence and skill.
@@ButterflyZo agreed
ENFJ here. When I see someone down, I talk to them and never give up.
Yes you do. One ENFJ did that for me. I was comfortable enough to open up to her.
/INTJ
ENFJ here me too I would never give up ❤️
@@beaverdiva2823 Where could people meet enfjs?
that's why INFPs think you are amazing
Rick Astley would be proud.
ENFJ here. I definitely need my "day in court", to be heard and understood. I hate it when someone misunderstands me or attributes motives to me that are untrue and wont listen to where I'm coming from!!!
Also I need reassurance and appreciation for things I do for others. Stop doing things for people they dont really want you to do! How else are you going to know if they appreciate it if they dont say so? Then I am willing to bend over backwards for them IF I know they appreciate it. Otherwise you give and end up being resentful and that is NOT good.
This new to me, need help to understand myself, i thought I'm getting crazy with thought s of being not unstood, not understanding my self either of later
I resonate with each word typed in this comment! Thanks for representing us so aptly💕
Being an enfj male it sucks having to absorb everyone's vibes , it can be very overwhelming when they have negative energy as i tend to attract people with mental /emotional issues ,lol.
i love helping and healing others but also get very paranoid thinking people will betray me or use me 🙏.
I 100% relate to this. Gotta stop attracting girls that need "fixing" so to speak lol
I had to learn the bad way, so I started mimicking the INFJs and door slam them before giving them the chance to utilize me. Trust your gut when you feel that bad energy and don't try to fix it, just stay away. That was hard for me to understand in the beginning but it costed me many tears and emotional draining.
Also, being an ENFJ male sucks because in some situations people consider us 'too emotional', and I guess that it is not expected from men in society. There's so much that needs to change in the world...
Sounds harsh, but after looking after many friends with mental health problems and loving them so much and stressing about them so much, I know I can not be their go to person without it having a bad affect on my own health. So if I make a friend and they tell me they have poor mental health, I will show a lot of sympathy but then privately think about if I actually want to be them as a close friend, because once someone is my friend I am loyal and will do everything possible to keep that friendship alive.
Enfj, being enfj. Once you realize that the individual's ego is an illusion, that self is determined by a respectively gathered understanding of community consciousness, and admit that existence is, "an infinite now," Watts,. You turn away from the world.
Tell that sad face to turn away from the world. Citing my reference to a watts lecture.
I could had told you about that time, the nuns were very forgiving. I no longer imbibe.
I am an ENFJ and have never looked through a spouse's phone (seriously who does this). I have never had a "covert contract" with anyone I've known. I let people know up front what my expectations are of them but temper it with a dose of forgiveness too. People aren't perfect, and many make mistakes. I do feel we should overcome our mistakes and strive to be a better person each day.
After a discussion with my wife I realize I have used covert contracts. So ... as hard as it is to admit, I may have been mistaken. Maybe. :P
#same
There seems to be no mystery with Enfj when they're into someone - they just lay it out on the table.
Holy crap, that’s me…I’ve done it before work some friends 🤣🤣
Haha true
they’re kinda similar to infj’s. Loyalty checks, need for recognition from others, alienating people, perfectionists, daily hard time with their self worth, caring/committed, for the people, etc
We just don't dissapear like INFJs. They dissapear and you will never hear from them anymore. Nobody knows why they do it. We ENFJs at least explain if we don't like something about the friednship or relationship.
Self worth comes from serving others so find an occupation that helps others and your self worth will never be depleated
@@TomeRodrigo true 😿👍🏼
@@sunnysol805 Read the book "When the body says no" from Gabor Mate. Self worth is not coming from serving others because you can literally die from it, but self-worth is coming from taking challenges of life and loving yourself healthily and meeting your needs. When "your cup is full" you can give to others. People who only serve others and ignoring their own needs mostly develop nasty diseases because their body will say "no". It is simple as that.
When he said super forgetful my face went "😬he's right"
A male ENFJ told me yesterday that he has the memory of an elephant. It made me laugh inside. I’m an ISTP and we have natural camaraderie. He offered to teach me some jiu jitsu techniques and we had a little “fun” afterwards. I’ve known him for 6 years and last time I went down this road with him (2 years ago) he very quickly treated me badly. He apologized but I kept my distance until now. I like him as a person. I guess I’m just riding the wave until it hits the shore.
@@CuddleClaw. so people forget that as a ENFJ you are used so much and sometimes the closest people feel the brunt of the situation because we dont feel like our efforts are being welcomed.
I don't drink I can't makes me less productive the next day so I smoke weed.
@@livylondon1 he is in therapy for BPD. I got off the wave, I didn’t hang with him after that. I decided it’s not worth it and I decided I don’t really like him as a person that much. ISTPs get used a lot too especially when younger. A lot of people do. We all need to learn from our experiences and do what we can to improve ourselves. Learning how to set boundaries has been useful for me.
@@CuddleClaw. YOOOO BPB I have learned the hard way how toxic someone who is not getting help can be with that disorder. I understand I was speaking, i guess from personal place.
You sound like you’re about to break up with an enfj
He kind of went on a little bit of a tirade
Lol let him vent
Sounds more like he's FOS💩!
i dont think we are afraid to be wrong.
Ikr! He sounds that whiny in all the other videos I’ve watched on who the types are!!
The 38 dislikes are ENFJ's who got their feelings hurt when he got salty.
Lol when he got salty
😭😭😭😭😭
I’m an INTJ and I’m highly impressed by your knowledge and your thoroughness
Much appreciated.
1:28 LOL the moment he picked that white board seemed like he stepped right into heaven
That’s how boss we are 😂 made the whole world light up 😂 #ENFJ
@@savagetimegaming 😂😂😂
Lol how did that happen! 😂
This has convinced me only further that I have no idea what my type is.
😆😆😆
Better hope you're not an ENFJ then
Same
If this doesn’t feel like a sure fit, you are NOT and ENFJ
Dang, it was spot on
I’m an ENFJ and what he says is true.
I have trust issues even with closest people to me but I try my best not to think about it by getting some “me” time.
Yes, we are all in or all out. It’s black or white.
I am not afraid to admit my wrongdoings though. But, retaining Respect despite is a Big Yes.
Uh, Covert Contracts... I don’t make them covert. I list down rules and make sure they are understood and known. Haha! I don’t do loyalty checks though (or so I think).
Yes, I am kind of forgetful. That’s why I write things down I want to remember and try to avoid areas/things that will make me remember things I don’t want to remember.
Worried about self-worth everyday: Uh Yes. :| Yes, it’s super crazy.
You got the Words of Affirmation Right. Yes, that’s our top Love Language!
You’re literally giving me my life story and telling me who I am this entire video...
Yep! ENFJ male for sure 😋
Infp female. Let's get married!!!! 😝
ENFJs aren't always "Empaths" but they can be very empathetic.
That’s fair
Try to think of empathy on a spectrum rather than black and white. ENFJ’s are generally further down the empathy spectrum than the other types.
I feel like I was such an enfj when I was a child, but my childhood trauma altered my behaviors from extrovert to introvert that I slowly grow into an infp by the time I'm an adult. It feels like enfj is me being an innocent child. I miss that child.
That happened to me to an extent but I started to flip back when I moved away and started anew. Not saying my experience is representative or necessarily able to happen for everyone.
Reading that is interesting. Since I am an Infp who developed my ENFJ shadow because of circumstances. I really really miss my infp ego as well. I think they might even be the most innocent of all types as well, but especially INFP's 🤔.
Move far enough for your true self to be able to start shining through again
Yep
I agree with him, I am an ENFJ and it's true about we jump to conclusions and we DO have The cover contracts, even if we don't want to admit it because we see them as bad, but we are judgers and we are very aware of how things "suppose to be right" and the mix of this things gets us into trouble with the people who had broke our contract. I struggle a lot with taking a moment before doing something I FEEL is the right thing to, but being aware of this issue of my personality helped me to take Time before an important decision. Thats the Best advice as an ENFJ to other ENFJ's that I can give: Take your time and try to trully listen to what people is saying instead of taking it personally right away.
I'm an ENFj, and I didn't get to the part of the video about "covert contracts" yet. I can tell you I definitely don't do that. And if you suggested that to my ENTP husband, he'd laugh and say, "Covert? Have you met my wife?" Yeah, I do have expectations about how things should be. But I will tell you flat out. In detail. This may be a matter of maturity level, certainly younger ENFJs with less confidence in themselves may try more covert tactics. More likely, it has something to do with who the ENFJ is dealing with. We deal with different people in different ways, because people are...different.
I value communication, i like helping people, but after doing it for long, you ask yourself whether giving is only from your side....then you start to hate it
@@elizabethkinyuaelizabeth534 Yess...about covert contracts it's like, I help my batchmates as and when I can (no matter how small or big a task is) but not getting a single birthday wish on my last birthday made me sad and I realized that yes I do expect people to do small deeds for me...which can literally just be asking 'how are you?' because that validates my giving nature in a sense but no rather a few will critize me (although correctly) which does make me feel like a doormat at times. But again as givers we don't usually ask for help and need aswell😂 (maybe coz we enfjs find ourselves sufficient to execute tasks) which can be the reason we don't find others helping us often
I am in ENFJ through and through. My number one love language is acts of service. You seem pretty passionate it’s not so I will definitely pay attention but man oh man do I like it when my husband does the dishes.
That's My Love Language Too! (Also an ENFJ)
I love gifts like anyone, but as an ENFJ if you really want my heart to flutter, just take care of stuff without my asking and say things like "hey, let me help". Once a man I had a crush on offered to help with a computer issue and I melted. ;-)
My husband is an ENFJ with acts of service as his love language!
I have a ENFJ friend that has been diagnosed with bipolar and the reasoning was basically the normal reactions and emotions of an ENFJ. It makes me wonder how many ENFJs are wrongly diagnosed as bipolar just because of their natural functions and because they aren't like the majority. My ENFJ friend is just living a normal life now as an ENFJ who finally understands his own personally and his strengths and weaknesses. Medications didn't work for him but understanding his own personally did.
😊😅k😢😊lu yv
y.😢mju🎉😊😅😮😢
I see a psychiatrist but I have no psychiatric diagnoses....Oh yeah he is an INTJ....yes I typed him to his face because I saw his shadow functions come out on a bad day. Anyways, I have been abused emotionally in the most extreme non-stop way by a guardian.....I go mainly because I have chronic pain and fibromyalgia and I can say everyone should do psychotherapy even if they have moderate issues only. I have met so many intuitive feelers with fibromyalgia and mental health issues and most of the time the mental health issues are not organic rather social/environmental that can be fixed with the right knowledge MBTI can help with along with the right group of friends. Anyways, One side of my family hates my Fe completely and keep in mind I am an ENFJ as well so basically they hate me.....they are all Sensors with Fi as lead or second so they think I am being fake, over dramatic, etc.....the thing is whenever I meet someone and I am with that side of the family they are confused because they are impressed with me and they say that and then my dad or sister undermines me or downplays what I said in the most infuriating way.
My psychiatrist does not discuss diagnoses but I have extensive knowledge of psychiatry/psychology/neurology and watched as he ruled out diagnoses and I remember he was stuck on what I intuitively felt was Avoidant Personality Disorder but for sure a personality disorder, anyways he was very obvious with questions that spoke to the primary symptoms of Cluster C PDs....he probably got stuck on this because a parent has obvious Cluster B type personality disorder behavior and traits...I played it cool and then at night emailed him and said "Avoidant Personality Disorder?! Come on that ain't it!". This was the start of many things I did that earned me the "you know you are a piece of work right?" look....
People on the verge of spiritual break through, what James 4 calls spiritual "double-mindedness," look awfully "bipolar." Forgive the English, I tried my best. Please try to hear what I am saying.
Those struggling with double-mindedness are not crazy, it would be crazy for them to be numb to what they are processing. The emotions experssed is not the issue, the issue is WANTING to reject the self-harm rejection of God and rejection of his only good ways AND WANTING to stay with the ways of the world they are used to but go against their convictions and newfound revelation of the better there is.
Example, those who cry out for justice but actually seek Godless and harmful revenge as they reject allowed justice to take root as the Godly solution. They look "bipolar" as their ideals are not God's ideals. Especially if they express their emotions and they do not seem to logically line up according to how others would expect. You cannot cry out in hate for love. Those who are immature and fighting God can't understand that. Others may see the terbulant cognative disonance and call them crazy, but they are not crazy, they are spiritually unstable and lack faith in following God's will. Their emotions seem all over the place due to their empathy and care, but the truth of God is steady and could anchor them if they surrendered in faith to that, to him. You can't drug a person into understanding God's solutions, you can just numb their reactions so others are no longer disturbed by what's spiritually going on in them.
They have to have faith in what they know is right and not go by feelings of compromising solutions, others' opinions validationg them for doing wrong, or their tendency to try to control it all by their internal judging rather than wisdom that's greater than their own. They must surrender to God and accept his feelings and feel those and trust his plan. They struggle because they want to still control things on their own, but the only solution is surrender to an only good God that is greater than themselves and this comes with the realization that they can't help people, only God and his ways can help people. They fight the needed weeping, repenting, surrender and change that's needed and it looks very bipolar as they try to control even God and try to make their will his. Even this world tries to tell people extreme emotoins are wrong and to be drugged for it, but God says it's okay to even be anger, but in your anger DO NOT SIN.
"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?
You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.
You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?
Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?
But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you." That is from James 4.
And this is the solution. But it requires a full surrender.
"Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You[d] must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
Nicodemus said to him in his seeking, “How can these things be?” Jesus answered him, “Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things? Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you do not receive our testimony. If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? 13 No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” This is from the book of John in the Bible and it has healed many, many millions, if not billions of people. God is love, his solution, Jesus, is perfect and it is in our own attempts and trying to create the creator that we create what is evil and tumultuous in this world, we need to surrender to God who is only good and not try to be like the Devil himself and make our broken ways a god that we worship and obey even to the point of self-destruction all while thinking ourselves and the broken ideas of this world wise and purpose numbing solutions.
Prayers that you hear and understand what I am trying to say, God loves you, and means well and not harm. We just reject him, and the worlds solutions don't actually help us or help make the world better. Don't let the Devil stop you from crying out when you see injustice or delighting in what is good. If he can't get you to sin, he needs you numb in apathy never working through the double-mindedness to get to God's perfect solutions via surrendering to God who is not of this world. Scripture says, the Devil is the "current" ruler of this world, but we are not powerless to him, read scripture for yourself to find out more and how to reject the enemy's attacks. There are people under serious attacks, I am not saying don't get help, I am saying run to the right kind of help. Flee what's actually harming you. Ask God to show you what's really going on and how to go to the good places that can ACTUALLY help.
@@KaymakveMimi i will never go to a doctor to diagnose me, i’m bipolar in the sense of i cant decide like 1 minute i’m like i like this and the next i’m like i dont, my emotions dont randomly change
AMAZING VIDEO - SO ACCURATE, Thank you C.S Joseph!! Especially about;
1) Expecting a lot (almost everything) even without stating this to a partner, just because we know ourselves as ENFJ's that we give 100% and expect the same in return - so true
2) ENFJ's knowing their actions are right, and wondering why everyone else is not acting in the same way
3) ENFJ's needing extrernal validation, affirmation & recognition. Also, insecure about feeling stupid or nervous that other people think we are stupid. I have a few degrees (more than anyone would need) just to fuel my ego surrounding self-worth - also so true.
4) Mistrusting of others and the "loyalty checks" (I admit I've done this.....even if there is no reason to do it in the first place!!)
I thought this was about me personally, however it's nice to know I'm not the only one out there who is like this, as it describes me very well!!
The saltiness in this video was too funny 😂 ENFJ here 👋🏻 This video really solidified my suspicion that I’m an ENFJ. I don’t use covert contracts with my hubby. Shortly after we were married it became obvious that I needed to speak directly, which has been really good for our relationship. My mom is an ENFP and my brother an INFP. You can only imagine what that was like...
INFP here. Please adopt me ENFJs.
Hah, I definitely hope my future wife is an INFP or INTP
As a ENFJ I can confirm the self fulfilling prophecy, when I was younger I’d always be on guard with my partners. It felt like a push and pull where I’d question their loyalty to me and in doing so I’d push them away and be like “I told you so”. It wasn’t until I got older and more self aware that I’d have to fight that urge to question loyalty until there were actual tangible red flags.
Also, it’s true. All in or all out.... go big or go home lol
Only started at the beginning but it’s already so accurate. I have an enfj husband and his brother is an entj. His brother often hosts for social gatherings but he will make specifically what he’s excited to make, cooking is definitely his artistic outlet and he will often smoke meat although it’s not necessarily what most of us enjoy the most. Not to sound ungrateful, we’re all grateful for the party, and the food is always good, and it’s always important to the entj brother to receive positive feedback from his creation. My enfj husband differs in the fact that he will make something he knows CERTAINLY will blow everyone away. And if someone doesn’t eat the specific protein he’s making, he’ll go out of his way to prepare another protein perfectly just for that one person, praise is also very important as he wants to know everyone had an experience while being served and eating. Also maybe it’s just them, but the entj will have a food line available for everyone to grab from, whereas my husband will individually plate everyone’s food. I will say the entj makes accommodations as well, his wife doesn’t eat pork or red meat so he will make turkey or another substitute EVERY TIME for her and enough for anyone else. And the entj will cook everyone’s meat to their preference if it’s steak for example.Both are extremely generous, hospitable, and take their craft very seriously- just in slightly different ways.
Very good comparison that I note in the two types as well.
I've definitely experienced a lot of these feelings and experiences as an ENFJ. Great job with your analysis! Now how to get others to recognize that I need that recognition and day in court haha
Maybe you can tell them what you need
Oh my goodness! I'm an ENFJ and this totally revealed a side to myself I didn't know I had. Thank you so much! This was so enlightening.
This is the first analysis of my personality type where I felt I had an explanation for why I fell into an abusive marriage. I have beaten myself up for years since getting out of it. But knowing that we are subtly manipulated, it makes sense to me how I went down that road. I'm actually relieved. Thank you.
What helps me as an ENFJ to get over my natural craving for external validation is to remember a quote from Abraham Lincoln... “Don't worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.”
ENFJs are not walking around thinking they’re stupid, they look for external validation because they believe they are doing a good job and should get recognition. Another thing about ENFJs is that when they are certain about something they will assert themselves as being right. If they have a little bit of doubt in their idea they will either not share it, or they will admit they are not 100% certain because honesty is very important to them.
THIS!!!
That's so true about their lack of confidence. My father and close friend are also ENFJ. You can tell they are so smart and can learn things on such a deep level, but they doubt themselves so much that I always have to convince them they can be great at something before they will stop being stagnant and actually try something. I could tell they had a lot of knowledge and talent in certain areas so I had to convince them they were smart and were talented at these things and both are finally doing things they love and are good at after pushing them to try them.
Me. 😭
Wow. I listened to this after getting a bunch of feedback that I had some personal work to do. My husband and I listened to it together just for fun, and he agreed that it desribed me perfeclty. This video highlighted every single issue I am struggling with. It was a bit of a reality check, although very useful. Thanks!
This is so accurate. What helped me the most was learning that being forgetful was part of my type. I've noticed over the past few years how forgetful I am and I was really worried about my brain health.
Do you think ENFJs have a tendency to end up in the non-profit/government/NGO space because they crave so much recognition for helping others?
yes
any other reason? or that really it in a nutshell
I don't think that's 100% true. As an ENFJ personally I truly would never want to end up in a position like that. And generalizing the type to say that in a whole is just a bit bit upsetting. I actually went to school for the fine arts and make costumes and jewelry accessories for a living as a something while being a stay at home disabled mom. I also volunteer at my older daughter's school from time to time and help the kids out with tons of art projects and have gotten lots of awards for these things but it's secondary. I do it for the kids to help them to see them happy and excited to learn new things. That's why I do it and it's a really awesome feeling. But politics are just not my thing, yes helping people may be but government buisness is not. Even if that buisness is to benefit people. There are tons of other ways I could do those same things you mentioned in that response to your statement in your video without getting paid and still have nothing to do with politics, or a non paid government position. And also still feel like I'm doing the world a ton of good or at least my part. You don't have to be a big fish in the world to get your point across or to do your part, you just have to be yourself with a great idea even if your a small fish in a huge pond. Anything is possible.
I think it’s more we hate the bureaucracy in mainstream corporate worlds. You can get recognition in work for profit, but you gotta play more games, which we hate
I do it because I'm good at it
I've never searched through anyone's phone or email etc. That is an appalling lack of privacy invasion and my Hero won't let me. I would just 'ask' about what I suspect and read you as you respond. Wouldn't need anymore information than that.
Awesome if true
ENFJ here, I'm 4 minutes in. YES! And thanks for the compliments! Because you know that we put so much effort into those parties and it's nice to hear that others enjoy it! Honestly. I put so much effort into party planning and I think about lots of little details and try to tie it all together into one big awesome experience for all haha We like to make things special. This is such a cool description. I used to drink alcohol all the time :( I don't drink since I was baptised into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It was my biggest sin. I also do put a lot of thought into making food for others. Yes. Child Se is awesome, I love having it.
EDIT: Like the ENTJ, I do add many elements to my parties that are because I personally like those elements, and I get disappointed because I think others will like them as much as me, and then they don't. For example, I threw a Harry Potter party. When you walked in the door, you chose a cupcake, took a bite, in the middle of the cupcake was a colour of icing that sorted you into a Hogwarts house. That would place you in the team for the games in the evening. I made an old witchy looking shelf of glass vials, with cork lids, with colourful potions, that were just different alcoholic mixes, with these "made-to-look-ancient" tags that had potions titles written on them, like, "liquid courage" and "luck", and "super strength", so on so forth. Everyone just started drinking them without reading the tags D: Mega cry face.
I'm also an ENFJ and am fascinated by your channel. Really apprecaite what you're doing.
I'm an ENFJ and found this VERY helpful in understanding my reactions and thought processes. I found so many points of agreement on your descriptions of situations I have experienced. If you have an ENFJ in your life, tell them how much you love them. Give them their "day in court", or you will find a big can of whoop-ass coming your way. If you are an ENJF like me, recognize your covert contracts and either communicate them or get rid of them.. they are made up and in our heads! Thanks so much for your videos.. super helpful!
Wow. Kind of scary how right you are about us. We are incessant planners about everything in life. I joke that I always have a Plan A, B, C and D. Why? Because what if.....? It’s our way of controlling our emotions. Because we are driven by our emotions and the need for internal harmony. That is also why ENFJs are so good at coping. We’ve already planned for the worse. Lol
As far as our lack of confidence in our intelligence, that’s true. Even though I’ve been told by people I respect intellectually that I’m intelligent, I still question myself. I think our intelligence and way of abstract thinking is so different (from Sensors especially), that we come across a bit out there. My least favorite people to be around are SFJs. They seem so superficial, judgmental and overly confident imho.
OMGOSH!!!! You ate SOOOO on point!!! I JUST found out that i am an enfj and when you said that we always feel worried about our self worth and feel dumb…….. that is SOOOO me every day of my 44 years of life!!!!! I totally thought something was majorly wrong w me but as you said that i just wanted to cry bc i felt understood and justified (for the first time)❣️ THANK YOU SO MUCH for doing this video ❣️❣️❣️you have NO IDEA what a blessing it is for me right now ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
Anyone else get chills during this? --- love ENFJ ❤️
Awesome summarization. I loved the video. I’m definitely an ENFJ through and through. It is true I have cut off a few friends because they called me stupid without even hearing my explanation or reasoning. Which I felt devalued me in a sense. Great post!
Your videos on my personality annoy me but I appreciate the truth on our bad sides
It’s crazy how once you held up the board the background went white! So cool!
Enfj's watching this: -
Him: IM NOT BITTER TOWARDS MY ENFJ PARTNER!
😂😂😂😂 Pent. Up. Issues.
Seems to me (as Ti hero) that you are suggesting that ENFJs are unable to differ between knowledge and personal experience, thus ENFJs being horrible Ti users, i.e. being stupid. That's not very nice of you considering that ENFJs hate being found stupid (and you implied it, therefore you found it, even though I called it out explicitly). :o)
@@xamidi Looks like emojis confused you.The OP was making a joke about Chase being bitter toward's his gf
@@superioropinion7116 I assumed that OP did, which is why I wrote my comment. Seems that language is confusing you?
@@xamidi Yea,it is confusing.
@@xamidi Yeah, your language is confusing
As an ENFJ, I have dated an ISTJ and an ESTJ. The ISTJ was so cute because he would remember to remind me of the things I usually forget, and would keep me on track with what we are supposed to be doing. The ESTJ would literally just do stuff for me, like book me in to the doctor and then take me there. Yes. Amazing, Wow. Needed to take a note from his journal. I do believe ISTJ is ENFJ's dual match. Felt it... It really feels like "the other half".
Your Enfj partner always seeks for balance within a relationship in a rather co-independish subtle way,any decisions you are making they might be afraid of bad long time implications which will hurt them as much they will you.Don't take it personally when they are trying to keep tabs and its not that they don't trust you,its just enfj projecting every satuion on a futuristic long term consequences which sometimes is all in the mind.Sorry bro I'm an enfj,this part just caught my attention.
oh wow that is so me
Watching the clouds in the background really creates a comfortable environment. It’s rly nice 😭
I think the ENFJ is critical because we are easy to be taken advantage of. We have trust issues because of this. You have to give us reasons to trust you.
I agree with you about confusing loyalty with mistrust.
Loyalty has to be earned, not expected. I'm an ENFJ who is working through trust issues and learning to see the good in people again.
Also, using an ENFJ's flaws against them is a bad idea. Like you said, it can result in us being a task master in order to get that person to back of.
Terrifyingly accurate!! Love this...lots of enfj analysis says only the positive angles, but I love that this is real and shows all the negatives as well
Me too
Omg! I feel sooo seen and understood. I started tearing up watching this. My therapist recommended me to do more research so I feel less alone that I was taken advantage of because it's common for us if not aware.
"You can be there alone mr. dark cloud"
Depressed INXP: Yes
Wow thank you for the break down. I needed this. I am new to this and today found out I'm ENFJ. For a long time I have struggled to understand why I do the things I do. And the dark side always terrified me. Now that I know a bit more about it I can be more aware of how to control it instead of it controlling me.
My favorite part of your synopsis is how clearly you articulated the flaws of the ENFJ. I love understanding what I need to improve and supplement in order to make good decisions. Criterion I focus on to find flaws in thinking are: 1) scalability, 2) scope, 3) context, 4) degree (the range of application is not black or white), 5) implications and effects on other correlated factors (the world is a like a spider web, and decisions on one side effect the pendulum on the other side within the ecosystem), and 6) seeking out big picture thought leaders that I trust to serve as a quality control check on how I see things.
Enfj the simple definition for me:
1:47-1:55
How they can make the best parties
2:00-3:18
So basically when an enfj is using fe hero is basically about how other people feels in their value judgement
If an enfj sees anyone who is sad or mad idk they will just try lighting the person up and If they can't do that they will just find someone who is fun.
ENFJs are not untrusting of others - in fact it is the opposite. ENFJs over-trust others and have a hard time noticing when they are being deceived. They also avoid conflict where possible. When ENFJs are highly stressed they act differently, perhaps your ENFJ partner is stressed.
sz you are so right
This
yes
Thank you so much for explaining an ENFJ. You did very well I really like your personality. I can relate to everything except I feel with my love language I don’t need people to tell me how good I am! But reminding me of the good things I’ve done for them in my past I am very grateful for.
Dude I’m laughing so fucking hard right now. So spot on !!!!!
ENFJ in the house !!
As an ENFJ I’m fully aware of how forgetful I am, and yet the only time I ever decide to write things down is to make the person talking to me feel like what they’re saying is important to me
I'm an ENFJ. Although I don't find myself in some of the ideas presented in this video, it's good though to see an opinion on ENFJ's from someone who is not ENFJ :) Thanks for that and I apreciate the work you put in this video!
Have you looked at ESFJ?
@@CSJoseph , thanks for the reply. Yesterday I did the test again and I'm still ENFJ :)
Can you please tell me where can I find the meaning of those Fe/Ni/Se/Ti? It's the first time I hear about them. Thank you!
I disagree. ENFJs are unicorns. Yes, Im an ENFJ.
Justin Falzon Me, tooooo! :) :) :)
Not as much as the INFP 😂
If by "unicorn" you mean rare, yes, I've only known one ENFJ my entire life. INFJs are everywhere. -INFP
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣☠☠☠☠☠☠ I'm so dead by this comment. (Yes, I also am a 🦄 unicorn, I mean ENFJ)
@@Trasea Most of those infjs are very likely infp
I am ENFJ and I recognize myself so much in what you describe. So true indeed. Been going through situations of my life while you described, yeah, described me 🤣👍🏾
You are an ENFJ.
My knight in shining armor.
My hero. My other half.
The love of my life.
No taxation (Fe), without representation (Ti).
LOL
enfj here, it seems you might need to go have a talk with your lass about some things
yeah its too late for that.
Hi! I'm an ENFJ and a freshman in the Marketing course! Just wanna say thank you for your hard work in this one! You just summed up my life. And an advanced thank you for the "Sales" topic soon! More power! 🧡
I think I’m more offended if you question my motive or integrity, than my stupidity lol! Yes, guilt feelings, real or imagined do trigger bad decisions, this is good reminder to Chill. Absolutely I give my all to you , but when there’s no reciprocity, the cheerleader eventually runs out of gas & retires, just walks away, just like that ... yep. Great overview, CS, BTW
I WANT MY DAY IN COURT!!
Dang a lot of what you said is really spot on. I know I have flaws. I think I’ve had one or two “covert contracts”. I think it comes from that idealist vision that end up setting expectations. I will work on that though. My bf is an ENFP and he has to remind me to communicate because I make that mistake. I also do need extra validation, and wish I didn’t depend on it so heavily. I don’t think I have low self-esteem, but I feel this need to constantly improve and be better. And if I feel like I’m falling short... I have to do something about it. Immediately.
Thanks for this breakdown. I need to work on some stuff, but I’m happy I have the personality I do. I like making people feel good and heard. I like having a positive impact in people’s live and strive for what I want to see in the world.
I'm an ENFJ and this was super detailed, informative, and helpful! Thanks!!
I was mistyped as an ISTP, and at the time I was acting like one because I was in an unhealthy state at the time. I'm now getting back to being myself and I can see I'm an ENFJ. 4 of my best friends are ESFJ's and one is ISFJ. I love how they affirm, validate and appreciate me. I adore their Si because they say what I need to hear and remind me of important things. And yes, people sometimes do take advantage of me, and I usually dont realize it until it's too late...usually ESTP's. My "ah-ha moments" take awhile until my Ni/Ti starts seeing patterns, and then I'm angry at myself for letting it happen. ESTP's are notorious for stimulating my Se child function, so much that I can't hardly see anything else, then I'm living in a fantasy world and don't want to escape from it. They eventually do bring out the ESTJ in me, and yes, I crack whip when they use their loyalty checks on me.
Mistyped my father, who raised me as a single parent, as an ESFP… when he is actually an ESTP. This discovery came after having a mental breakdown in front of him after MONTHS of arguing back and forth about how he has been too harsh on me and never gives me recognition, except for once a year through a short text message. I’m the eldest daughter (ENFJ) of two younger sisters who’s mother passed away while i was 7; my dad irresponsibly placed all his obligation of raising my sisters onto me (ESTP’s are so lazy with their Ni inferior). While my dad has strengthened me through tough love, he has also manipulated me more than my narcissistic ex boyfriend of 7 years (ISFJ). He may be the only ESTP I know and.. will be the last. I love my dad but from a far, that’s all I can offer after self-actualizing and seeing all the ways he has abused my benevolence as an ENFJ. Horrible 😞 this is the second huge heated-argument I have gotten in with my father during my 23 years of life and it’s so similar to the first. So grateful for CSJ because he has helped me make sense of the world.. using ESFP tactics on an ESTP is just pure stupidity, dont do it 👀BUT after learning my dad was truly an ESTP, I suddenly resented him a little less. ENFJ’s, just be mindful of ESTP’s 🥺 they really can subtly get what they want from you without you ever realizing it until they have made a mess so huge (typical ESTP flaw) you have no choice but to clean it up, and by then its too late.
Much luv. - ENFJ
Also, I started delving into CSJ’s content in June of 2023 and I’m writing this post three months later.. helped me make sense the of the people around me as well as myself along this new journey I’m taking into my adulthood.. trying to become the best version of myself & am so grateful for chase helping me do so 😭
“A cruel task master with a whip”😂😂I’m dead
Is this where the bedroom expertise comes into play?
Lol, these vlogs keep coming up. This is an old one, but a good one. Love here the downsides of ENFJ, watch out people! Very funny, also insightful.
I'm an ENFJ and this made soooooo much sense omg. I've always been insecure in my thoughts deep deep down inside but I despise feeling as if I'm stupid or if someone tells me I'm stupid, and I've never met someone or seen someone who has been able to explain this as well as you have. I legit thought no one else would be able to understand this lol. Thank you to my sister for explaining all this stuff to me and introducing it to me and for recommending me to your channel; thank you!
Hmm...are the love languages really set in stone for the types? I am an INFP (or so I think) and I don't care for gifts at all. Touch and quality time is where it's at. I think it has to do with my upbringing. That is how we show love in my family.
Kat Lauren I agree too. My first is quality time, affirmation and touch and act of service and the last is gift
I’m INFP as well
i spend so much time a day making sure that i can't be wrong. literally one of my biggest insecurities is being wrong on a fundamental basis
WOAH, it's crazy how I could relate to everything you said. More than money and other materialistic things, I want recognition for my efforts. Also, one of the worst things someone can tell me is that I am stupid. It pisses me off a lot and I show a ton of passive aggression when someone doesn't let me explain myself. I do want over-communication and that covert contract thing you mentioned is real. I always want back the care and time and consideration that I give in. Defi need that balance in my head.
After watching this video I understand myself a lot better. Also I want to mention that I was amazed with how when someone doesn't hear me out, I somehow activate that ESTJ superego. Wow. That explains A LOT. Now I know why I lash out on people who don't hear my perspective and just say I'm dumb for thinking something or feeling a particular way. You're doing a great job with these videos. I absolutely love them.
just dont get so bad that you end up like Carole Baskin :P
@@CSJoseph oh my god, ur humor xD
So that's why he always forgot so many things.. As an INTJ i used to be so irritated. Because i remember almost everything about him. But now i understand. Thank you Joseph
enfj here ,so on point : o mindblown .GREAT VIDEO !
Awesome!
Thanks for my reality check, I’ll build on this
So spot on, Chase.
I miss you, dad.
Lolool what
The sky is a surprise to be sure but a welcome one
ENFJs can learn japanese by themselves.
Great video! I like the ones better where you are sitting (and no wind). That was pretty funny how you described the way they are so suspicious of people's motives. I TOTALLY see this behavior in my boss/friend. She's so funny, always saying "I KNOW so and so's going to do this or that". I'm just like, you don't know that! LOL
"It could be different this time" ahhh so that is how my older sister got away with pranking me for my entire childhood, and I fell for it every single time 😦😅
As an ISTP watching this, I see a lot of similarities with my own type, presumably because it’s my subconscious.
This is a great video. Thanks so much! So in-depth! Esp the memory thing. I try and tell people to remind me of stuff all the time!
You are spot on. Thank you for letting me know what I must do! I am too far into my unconscious Te. I need to also validate myself more lol. Man I love working with INTPs.
This totally sounds like me 😳 I also hate when people think I’m stupid. And we can be easily manipulated, that’s why we have trust issues. And the loyalty thing.. pushing people away to check if they come back.. 😂that’s actually a bad thing but it’s true 😅 And we do go all in, at everything we set our minds too. Very black/white. Perfectionists, passionate people. And over communicate in a relationship sounds so good! And being forgetful is one of my biggest traits haha 😄
I like how you put these things out and i'm an ENFJ but i don't try to brand my self a lot cause i know the ego behind that will change me. Because sure some of these are great but we all have our own weakness and strength and that's why being different is okay because again it shows that even if we had all of those things someone out there can either say i have half of those things or not. So sure when i did my personality test i got ENFJ and i used to be full 100 percent till i finally try to be aware of my surroundings and just be me as a person which anyone can like about me or dislike. So those who feels bad about how he talks like hes saying the truth we'll its okay to do that but also don't let it indeterminate you as much just be happy with what you have and just enjoy what life has given you but also yes you can work on those problems as we''ll if you choose to do so.
This was the most detailed video ever
26:00 we can stimulate pathways of actions that people might take, if there are a lot of possible bad things we just ditch the person, we don’t test. So it is really important that we have someone that shares our idealistic values, someone that would be very far from doing anything worth ditching for. It’s all about possibilities for enfjs.
Let me tell you... My kids have the most fun birthday days...
That was f-in epic man, thanks for this!
26:34 the dude just got triggered
Lmaooo *Big Breath*
I listened to your video and learned a lot, then instantly forgot everything besides the impression that with those needs & concerns I'm currently screwed. Have to make time to write out all the points.