Notes - Make it a habit to live in truth, not lies. Be authentic. - Face what you fear and gain the strength to overcome 5:12 The tone of someone who's very passionate to help others become their better selves
Please, elaborate I don't agree. He has become more professional, and efficient. But his motives are still authentic. I don't see how he could not be authentic today.
Legit yelled out "Yes!" in affirmation, when you mentioned how being inauthentic is what causes fatigue...the f**kin act. Abso-f'in-lutely. LOL. The alignment of intent with your sense of an ideal or value is energy generating. Insight: I now understand why children can elicit that energy.
As someone who’s currently on the path to become a therapist, I’m so grateful to have watched this video. I’ve had the exact fear that I will find imposing a blank, neutral listening state to be exhausting with future clients and difficult for someone like me. Now I realize that it will be a skill like any other-to be used at my discretion; not as a necessary default state.
I really love the way you explain things, it just gives words to what I've always felt was how things worked. Thank you for all you are doing for internet culture and mental health
I dunno if it was my third eye, or because I’ve been meditating & using different hz, but just this morning I finally have accepted me, or “we” some may not understand, but those who do.... we’re family. I love you all my brothers & sisters. It took me about 5 years. It’s a journey to venture through.
I was thinking when people lie it usually leads to nothing but a momentary feeling of living in personally constructed reality... but when u speak truth you're not just validating your experiences, but you. Living them. Ppl lie about shit they wish was/is different but that doesn't change what shit is. Telling the truth means acknowledging yourself, which feels nice.
Yeah, being authentic to others is terrifying but exhilarating. It’s like you said, lying is a constructed reality but truth is real. Living in the real world is so much more fun and fulfilling than living in the constructed world in my mind. I am so scared that people won’t like my authentic self but being a fake person inside my fake reality is just so miserable (it’s like I’m not even living life). Feeling emotions is so much better than feeling nothing and authenticity let’s me feel my emotions. Instead of telling myself the lie that I don’t deserve to be loved for who I am, I am now taking the chance and letting people decide for themselves if I’m someone worthy of their love. It’s so scary but I have accepted this anxiety and It’s not an anxiety that makes me feel awful. It’s a fun anxiety like a roller coaster. And when I’m authentic, even the sadness is enjoyable. My sadness is like the sadness you get when watching a sad movie or listening to a sad song. Although, finding my authentic self has been very hard and I keep on falling into my insecurities and unhealthy thought processes. However, recently I have been finding my true self over and over again. I am constantly falling into my old ways of thinking and keep on getting up again and finding my authentic self. Every time I find myself, the insecurities and unhealthy mechanisms in my brain come back just a little bit weaker.
My problem that I’m dealing with, is my family gaslights me for being myself and being authentic because….. they don’t have respect for me, and are super sensitive, and they think I’m disrespectful because I get angry with people, I get frustrated, and sad, and it’s not fair, so the best way I’ve started dealing with this, is being expressive instead of fake and restrain myself for being “too emotional”.
You've helped me so much Dr. K. I suffer a lot from low self esteem. I have such a big heart, but I've suffered immensely from an abusive relationship. I know that I'm a broken person. Somehow most of my family still loves and supports me, and I have some great friends who inspire and believe in me. Ugh, even when I go back to my ex and get stuck. I feel so low now and they're seeing how dysfunctional and toxic I can be. I was healthy and healed 6 months ago. I broke no contact let him come over 💩 hit the fan where he was staying and what happened? I felt sorry for him saw his good behavior in the moment as changed and forgot his true nature, and let him come back. I've been messed up emotionally ever since. Motivation gone, self respect, gone, good habits built have crumbled. It's seriously my fault. His respect for me diminishes along with the unfixed problems. I'm a much happier person not necessarily on my own, but left to heal on my own. I felt hope and felt supported. I had real growth; and now I feel crushed, unlovable, and hopeless.
I'm learning to be authentic at home with my parents. I'm looking to have more constructive conversations in the future. I'm sick of holding it all in.
I hope I remember this video. I've lived an inauthentic life for several years now and I'm really trying to just be myself and not care what others think since my life really has been exhausting for so long.
For me the most challenging part of authenticity is knowing weather or not I’m being authentic. It’s really hard to know if I’m doing something because I want to or if I’m doing it because I don’t want to be perceived in a certain way. I have finally been able to start seeing the difference between the two and now my life feels so much more fulfilling.
Although I still get really scared that people are not gonna like my authentic self. But I have accepted this anxiety and now the anxiety feels less like my life is falling gonna fall apart and more like the moment just before the drop on a rollercoaster.
No one ever tells me the truth. I think its a cultural disease. Everyone is supposed to be allowed to have their own truth and people walk on eggshels to not hurt someone. The truth is not something you can just shove in peoples faces tho -- with big power comes big responsiblity. The thing is that people dont want to have responsibility for other people, THATS WHY they tell themselves that they dont say the truth and fool themselves into believing that they are being careful not to hurt someone.
If you want to see a perfect example of how freeing facing your personal truth can be, talk to anyone who came out as LGBTQ+. Basically anyone who comes out as something that is oppressed by society and learns to let go of that externally learned shame is someone to listen to.
Why do our mind try to protect us from the truth if getting the truth onto the light is so empowering? Just something I've been wondering. You would think logically it's the other way around.
Likely because we're hardwired to try to avoid problems rather than face them head on. Rather than planning long-term, we focus on the present when trying to deal with problems.
Basically because truth isn't advantageous for our survival. What our brain perceive of the reality outside is simplified for us to make faster decisions. Our brain isn't wired to see the reality as it is. That's why we have anxiety-fight or flight. If you go back 200.000 years, you and a friend are walking in the jungle. You hear something in a bush right ahead and you are anxious it's a tiger. Your friend on the other hand isn't worried at all, because to be honest none of you have seen the tiger yet, and he's not stressed about it. Who do you think survives to bring the genes to the next generation? Humans have all these primitive functions in addition to higher cognitive intelligence. We share 96% DNA with a chimp and 60% DNA with a banana. We are a part of nature just as everything else.
@@dalulu418 I can get behind this totally. Like now that I come back to my own question it seems pretty obvious. Why would the Truth of things help us evolution-wise. Have a good day sir.
Hey, I am late but I'd like to answer your question. It is a question of surviving vs thriving. We as humans are hardwired to survive, which is just not die and pass on our genes. We could live miserable lives but successfully fulfill our primal purpose, thanks to the mind and it's tricks like fear and anxiety. But to thrive, we need to tweak your default settings through education, experience, quality socialization etc
Maaan this is so depressing. I am completely unable to be authentic. My authentic self died when I was a kid. And I have lived an empty life. Today I am truly no one. No desires, no hobbies, not even likes and interests. No goals and purpose for life. Only an endless attempt to leave reality through games and drugs. I wish I could die. Life is such a crap.
just an observation: notice how absolute your language is. at least be authentic about the degree of your situation: “Today I am truly no one” -> “Today I feel I am no one”, for example. Start small. If you hear an absolute statement from yourself like, “never”, “always”, “completely”, etc., try and make a mental note to correct it to something slightly more true. That’s how i personally started my journey out of a very similar, terribly dark and horrible time in my life. I truly hope you can find some peace in your life my friend.
_you_ aren't no one. never say you 'are' things. nothing is stagnant, or it doesn't have to be. you're good and bad at things. your life is empty, _you_ are not empty, or at least that emptiness can be filled.
@@MusiicRoolz but not saying someth8ng doesn't make it stop being true. If I never developed a personality, why is it wrong to say I am noone? Because I'm already not myself, there's no way to answer the question of who I am, there's just void, nothing. As far as I can see, I am no one
He just explained it dumbass. In his experiences, talking like that gets the point through, especially when talking to patients. If youre goal is to be a memer or a comedian or a teacher, and youve gone through a specific series of experiences that tell you how to best express that, youll be and speak in your own way.
He's almost a polar opposite to Jordan Peterson if you really listen to what they both say. Jordan Peterson is toxic and judgmental. His solution for all the world's problems is for everyone to follow his conservative Judeo-Christian ideals. He has a lot of interesting things to say about psychology and symbolism. I personally love his talks on Jung. But I would never go to someone like him for the shitty self-help advice and anti-LGBT politics that have made him famous.
I keep suggesting that meet and chat. Like it would be so east meets west and I think those two could resolve a lot of cultural clashes and sift out the best of both
"I dont listen to my patients problems, its boring; its fucking exhausting"
lmaoo
LOOL
At least is real like he said XD
chad lol
Absolute fucking sigma behavior
Honesty is the best policy ☠️
Notes
- Make it a habit to live in truth, not lies. Be authentic.
- Face what you fear and gain the strength to overcome
5:12 The tone of someone who's very passionate to help others become their better selves
FUCK this is too inspiring. I can't even express into words how much Dr. K has educated me on literally everything in life
Back when Dr. K used to be a little more emotional and threw a few more F bombs than he does now 😂
Love you Dr K :)
true, his new videos are not authentic anymore
Please, elaborate
I don't agree. He has become more professional, and efficient. But his motives are still authentic. I don't see how he could not be authentic today.
Dr K swears all the time on the members live streams
Legit yelled out "Yes!" in affirmation, when you mentioned how being inauthentic is what causes fatigue...the f**kin act. Abso-f'in-lutely. LOL. The alignment of intent with your sense of an ideal or value is energy generating. Insight: I now understand why children can elicit that energy.
As someone who’s currently on the path to become a therapist, I’m so grateful to have watched this video. I’ve had the exact fear that I will find
imposing a blank, neutral listening state to be exhausting with future clients and difficult for someone like me. Now I realize that it will be a skill like any other-to be used at my discretion; not as a necessary default state.
9:43 - 9:53 "True acceptance doesn't mean turning a blind eye towards the bad half of you."
Man this one hit hard. I honestly really like this more bold and direct Dr. K where it actually feels like you're getting called out
I really love the way you explain things, it just gives words to what I've always felt was how things worked. Thank you for all you are doing for internet culture and mental health
I dunno if it was my third eye, or because I’ve been meditating & using different hz, but just this morning I finally have accepted me, or “we” some may not understand, but those who do.... we’re family. I love you all my brothers & sisters. It took me about 5 years. It’s a journey to venture through.
Damn lol. Interesting ✅✅
@@Sampltxt oh it has been the MOST interesting. ☄️⚡️🌪🌈
different hz?
I see you xx
are you still cool? be honest
Its sad that these clips get buried. It's gold!
Trueee the old stuff is good too
I dont play games nor am i stuck in life but your videos are really nice
You can meet people that need help :)
Cringe
Gotta take every opportunity to flex right
@@strangedrl 🤡
@@strangedrl "Cringe" is dead. Enjoying things unironically is cool, my guy.
"Just because you have thick skin doesn't mean I didn't make a mistake." This shit right here?? FUCKING GOLD.
The moment came as soon as I read this 🫂
I was thinking when people lie it usually leads to nothing but a momentary feeling of living in personally constructed reality...
but when u speak truth you're not just validating your experiences, but you. Living them.
Ppl lie about shit they wish was/is different but that doesn't change what shit is.
Telling the truth means acknowledging yourself,
which feels nice.
Liars technically can live in a constructed reality for a long time and get other people to live in that reality too. Extremely harmful.
Yeah, being authentic to others is terrifying but exhilarating. It’s like you said, lying is a constructed reality but truth is real. Living in the real world is so much more fun and fulfilling than living in the constructed world in my mind. I am so scared that people won’t like my authentic self but being a fake person inside my fake reality is just so miserable (it’s like I’m not even living life). Feeling emotions is so much better than feeling nothing and authenticity let’s me feel my emotions. Instead of telling myself the lie that I don’t deserve to be loved for who I am, I am now taking the chance and letting people decide for themselves if I’m someone worthy of their love. It’s so scary but I have accepted this anxiety and It’s not an anxiety that makes me feel awful. It’s a fun anxiety like a roller coaster. And when I’m authentic, even the sadness is enjoyable. My sadness is like the sadness you get when watching a sad movie or listening to a sad song. Although, finding my authentic self has been very hard and I keep on falling into my insecurities and unhealthy thought processes. However, recently I have been finding my true self over and over again. I am constantly falling into my old ways of thinking and keep on getting up again and finding my authentic self. Every time I find myself, the insecurities and unhealthy mechanisms in my brain come back just a little bit weaker.
My problem that I’m dealing with, is my family gaslights me for being myself and being authentic because….. they don’t have respect for me, and are super sensitive, and they think I’m disrespectful because I get angry with people, I get frustrated, and sad, and it’s not fair, so the best way I’ve started dealing with this, is being expressive instead of fake and restrain myself for being “too emotional”.
You've helped me so much Dr. K. I suffer a lot from low self esteem. I have such a big heart, but I've suffered immensely from an abusive relationship. I know that I'm a broken person. Somehow most of my family still loves and supports me, and I have some great friends who inspire and believe in me. Ugh, even when I go back to my ex and get stuck. I feel so low now and they're seeing how dysfunctional and toxic I can be. I was healthy and healed 6 months ago. I broke no contact let him come over 💩 hit the fan where he was staying and what happened? I felt sorry for him saw his good behavior in the moment as changed and forgot his true nature, and let him come back. I've been messed up emotionally ever since. Motivation gone, self respect, gone, good habits built have crumbled. It's seriously my fault. His respect for me diminishes along with the unfixed problems. I'm a much happier person not necessarily on my own, but left to heal on my own. I felt hope and felt supported. I had real growth; and now I feel crushed, unlovable, and hopeless.
I feel like I heard 80% of this in persona 4 but I didn't "learn" it until watching this vid lol
Bruh; life do be like dat
RIGHT?! RIGHT?! Persona 4 is incredible
Bro same lmao, persona has changed so much of how i think external and internal. Especially persona 4.
1:30 doing smth that has purpose & meaning
so can be emotionally spent, but spiritually fulfilled
4:20 ah
5:20 mm
9:50
I'm learning to be authentic at home with my parents. I'm looking to have more constructive conversations in the future. I'm sick of holding it all in.
I hope I remember this video. I've lived an inauthentic life for several years now and I'm really trying to just be myself and not care what others think since my life really has been exhausting for so long.
For me the most challenging part of authenticity is knowing weather or not I’m being authentic. It’s really hard to know if I’m doing something because I want to or if I’m doing it because I don’t want to be perceived in a certain way. I have finally been able to start seeing the difference between the two and now my life feels so much more fulfilling.
Although I still get really scared that people are not gonna like my authentic self. But I have accepted this anxiety and now the anxiety feels less like my life is falling gonna fall apart and more like the moment just before the drop on a rollercoaster.
1:40 Emphasis on "What you care about" Meaning that you're being authentic to yourself
Good advice. Starting to see how much bs I believe until I almkst cant and dont want to accept what I did wrong to grow
The first 15 seconds are perfect. We never talk about how society does this to everybody or at least almost everybody.
Physical exhaustion is easier to deal with then mental, or emotional fatigue.
Yeah, just lay down and wait.
0:08 0:22 0:44 1:11 2:49 3:02 3:41 4:19 4:48-5:46 5:59-6:23 7:02 7:43-7:59 8:41
8:57-9:13 9:30-end
It's so hard to find a good therapist. This makes a lot of sense why I don't get anywhere with them, when they're shallow.
So beautifully put 👏 👏 👏
No one ever tells me the truth. I think its a cultural disease. Everyone is supposed to be allowed to have their own truth and people walk on eggshels to not hurt someone. The truth is not something you can just shove in peoples faces tho -- with big power comes big responsiblity. The thing is that people dont want to have responsibility for other people, THATS WHY they tell themselves that they dont say the truth and fool themselves into believing that they are being careful not to hurt someone.
If you want to see a perfect example of how freeing facing your personal truth can be, talk to anyone who came out as LGBTQ+. Basically anyone who comes out as something that is oppressed by society and learns to let go of that externally learned shame is someone to listen to.
Is there a link to the full VOD?
uh oh I got authenticity bullied out of me
Why do our mind try to protect us from the truth if getting the truth onto the light is so empowering? Just something I've been wondering. You would think logically it's the other way around.
Likely because we're hardwired to try to avoid problems rather than face them head on. Rather than planning long-term, we focus on the present when trying to deal with problems.
Basically because truth isn't advantageous for our survival. What our brain perceive of the reality outside is simplified for us to make faster decisions. Our brain isn't wired to see the reality as it is. That's why we have anxiety-fight or flight. If you go back 200.000 years, you and a friend are walking in the jungle. You hear something in a bush right ahead and you are anxious it's a tiger. Your friend on the other hand isn't worried at all, because to be honest none of you have seen the tiger yet, and he's not stressed about it. Who do you think survives to bring the genes to the next generation?
Humans have all these primitive functions in addition to higher cognitive intelligence. We share 96% DNA with a chimp and 60% DNA with a banana. We are a part of nature just as everything else.
@@dalulu418 I can get behind this totally. Like now that I come back to my own question it seems pretty obvious. Why would the Truth of things help us evolution-wise. Have a good day sir.
Exeactly, you're welcome! That's what I love about the truth-it's consistent and it makes sense :)
Hey, I am late but I'd like to answer your question. It is a question of surviving vs thriving. We as humans are hardwired to survive, which is just not die and pass on our genes. We could live miserable lives but successfully fulfill our primal purpose, thanks to the mind and it's tricks like fear and anxiety. But to thrive, we need to tweak your default settings through education, experience, quality socialization etc
1:04 Thank You
10:06
Carl Roger would be proud to hear a therapist coming to the same conclusions
“Face your demons”
“Slay the dragon”
:)
Attack the darkness
Jordan Peterson
@@JohnSmith-ox3gy Walk the line in the middle
Clean your bloody room!
What's a meta for?
Explaining things.
(Works better when ye say it out loud but eh.)
This is really good..
Does anyone know if Dr.K has talked about where/how someone might go to India to learn?
Patanjali yoga institution is a good option
from who is the art peace in the thumbnail?
Looked it up; William Langson Lathrop's Twilight After the Storm
How can I view the full stream?
Maaan this is so depressing. I am completely unable to be authentic. My authentic self died when I was a kid. And I have lived an empty life. Today I am truly no one.
No desires, no hobbies, not even likes and interests. No goals and purpose for life. Only an endless attempt to leave reality through games and drugs.
I wish I could die. Life is such a crap.
just an observation: notice how absolute your language is. at least be authentic about the degree of your situation: “Today I am truly no one” -> “Today I feel I am no one”, for example. Start small.
If you hear an absolute statement from yourself like, “never”, “always”, “completely”, etc., try and make a mental note to correct it to something slightly more true. That’s how i personally started my journey out of a very similar, terribly dark and horrible time in my life.
I truly hope you can find some peace in your life my friend.
_you_ aren't no one. never say you 'are' things. nothing is stagnant, or it doesn't have to be. you're good and bad at things. your life is empty, _you_ are not empty, or at least that emptiness can be filled.
@@MusiicRoolz but not saying someth8ng doesn't make it stop being true. If I never developed a personality, why is it wrong to say I am noone? Because I'm already not myself, there's no way to answer the question of who I am, there's just void, nothing. As far as I can see, I am no one
@@franacha lost things can be found again. Recconect with yourself
Thank you.
He doesn't put on a tone of condescension tho 😐
Are you masochistic?
Genius
I am authentically a lazy piece of shit
Being authentic is not being vile. 🐽
I've been wondering about this for a long time, but why on earth does he sound like Ben Shapiro?
He just explained it dumbass. In his experiences, talking like that gets the point through, especially when talking to patients. If youre goal is to be a memer or a comedian or a teacher, and youve gone through a specific series of experiences that tell you how to best express that, youll be and speak in your own way.
Not even close what?
@jw zacher i put it on 1.25x speed and now i cant stop laughing lol
This.
i'm getting JP vibes from this.
He's almost a polar opposite to Jordan Peterson if you really listen to what they both say. Jordan Peterson is toxic and judgmental. His solution for all the world's problems is for everyone to follow his conservative Judeo-Christian ideals. He has a lot of interesting things to say about psychology and symbolism. I personally love his talks on Jung. But I would never go to someone like him for the shitty self-help advice and anti-LGBT politics that have made him famous.
@@ThanhTriet600 yea, sounds like you know nothing about his content.
@@DrBear-ss6ku I've watched almost everything he's put out. Perhaps you haven't.
@@ThanhTriet600 then you should know there is no anti-LGBT politics.
I keep suggesting that meet and chat. Like it would be so east meets west and I think those two could resolve a lot of cultural clashes and sift out the best of both
Pp haha
This guy souding a bit like Ben Shapiro puts me off pretty hard :D
They sound nothing alike.
@@GenshinX Sorry for my perception i guess
To be fair if I thought they sounded alike, I would also be put off.
i think i hear it too
wait whats wrong with ben shapiro
Waste of time
Reading this comment was a waste of time.
I see you already started to self-reflect