I had very little expectations going into heartstopper, but it absolutely blew me away with how sincere it was. It was so refreshing to be able to see a story about lgbtq people that wasn’t centered around the trauma they have to go to, even though it didn’t shy away from that. How nick and Charlie’s relationship forms and blossoms is so wonderful, and I of course love how it handled masculinity in Reagan’s to its connections (or lack thereof) to sexuality. Absolutely wonderful show.
I love that Nick doesn't give up the traditional masculine things when he discovers his sexuality. He is still the best player at the rugby team, he doesn't change his mannerisms, he is still his own person. Because sexuality is not the same as personality and one can still be masculine and queer. Hell, Tao, the token straight friend, is more flamboyant than any of the queer characters.
This is such a great little exploration of Nick's masculinity! I'm really excited to see how season 2 of Heartstopper continues to explore Nick's masculinity, especially in regards to his family situation. In the comic we learn that Nick's parents are divorced, and Nick never gets to see his dad, and that he has an older brother who is awful, and I think all of this plays a part in Nick's concept of masculinity. Being primarily raised by a single mother, with an absent father, I think is so important to Nick's character. It's something that I think would get his masculinity questioned---being a "Mama's Boy" doesn't exactly fit the mold for hypermasculinity. And without his dad around, without any kind of male role model (let alone a positive male role model), Nick would've REALLY had to create his own idea of masculinity based on what his peers were doing, which is exactly what he did, for better or worse, even if it never really fit him (which is, incidentally, something else I love, how clear it is right off the bat that Nick is kind and sweet and soft-hearted and just different from this other boys, even if he's afraid to show it. Nick never has to learn to be better, he just has to learn that it's okay to be himself.) And then there's David, Nick's older brother, and perhaps the only concrete example of masculinity Nick would've had growing up, after his dad left. It's pretty clear, though, that Nick wants nothing to do with David's form of masculinity. David is so angry and toxic and homophobic and just plain mean to Nick. But by the point in the story that he is introduced, Nick is sure of himself and his sexuality enough to shut his brother down instantly, to stand up for himself without hesitation. Not only has Nick established an alternative masculinity for himself, in being brave enough to simply be himself and to love who he is, he's actively rejecting toxic masculinity and fighting against it.
Just yesterday I was watching a video in Spanish which ended with a message that went more or less like "Worse than losing, is losing yourself" and I think it perfectly encapsulates this concept your explained about being masculine by being brave enough to be yourself rather than a big muscled dude
This is still one of my favorite videos about Heartstopper. I like that you looked at it from a different perspective than most people while still absolutely discussing very central themes to the show. The show models such healthy communication and self love among all other types of love.
I was stunned by how well Heartstopper portrayed romance. It was not sappy, nor was it in your face. This topic I am familiar with. In America, it is taught that males are strong, emotionless, and tough. I was not growing up and my dad never let me forget that. He verbally bullied me to the point I withdrew from everything around me and focused on books and music. As gay I repressed who I was for many years. Heartstopper showed me I could be me and I was not a sissy, dad's term for me. This masculine toxicity needs to stop so that other guys can be themselves.
I had never heard of this show before now, but you are absolutely right. With so many grifters out there telling us the only way to be "masculine" is to buy their testosterone pills or die for a country that doesn't respect us, it's important to have media call out the bullshit that we witness on a day-to-day basis. Keep up the fantastic work!
Great video as always PoG!! I had no idea that interview was out there that’s so cool! I always love it when my read on something is validated by those who made it 🥰 Nick’s story really is so powerful, seeing him work to escape the box he’d been forced into and wrestle with the amount of changes his life would go through if he stopped conforming was so moving, and the actor had a masterful ability to exhibit subtle body language and facial expressions to indicate his state of mind without a single word said in a way that really sold the struggle he was going through.
Great video! Can’t wait for season 2, I really wanna see them go deep with Charlie eating disorder, since I do relate a lot, about him wanting control and stuff.
At 9:02. Harry was definitely working in the thick of toxic masculinity. He was almost its totem in the show. But as a gay man, I can say that there are many Bens in the community--emotionally manipulative, insecure, nasty men who toy around with the feelings of other men to make themselves feel good and powerful. In other words, simple d*uchebags. Those come in the gay varieties too. And that has nothing to do with toxic masculinity and mostly to do with very low self-esteem and lashing out in anger to externally validate oneself. Which is not a gendered thing--lots of women do this too (that's what the movie "Mean Girls" was all about).
I haven’t seen Heartstopper, but your video was good as always! I can’t really comment on the content as much as in previous videos because I haven’t seen the show, but it was interesting nonetheless. A show that I’ve watched recently that I also think handles toxic (and just general) masculinity well is Ted Lasso. It’s about a football team (partially), but they don’t act stereotypically masculine. Roy Kent probably did the most, but part of his arc was about becoming less toxically masculine (especially in season 2). This comment was kind of an excuse to gush about Ted Lasso, but also your video was good!
I do think that there is a universal idea of what a man is. If you look at the ancient civilizations, though their cultures may be different, their perception of masculinity aligns in many ways. The idea of what a man is for most people nowadays will probably also align in many areas. Note that this doesn't mean the toxic expression of masculinity is okay. The way I see it, there will always be a healthy and an unhealthy way to do something. In more obvious ways, this includes eating or exercising. If one eats healthy, that fosters strong growth. If one does not, it can cause a myriad of health issues down the line. In less obvious ways, this might include the way we treat other people. A healthy relationship includes selflessness, compassion, and maybe some level of independence, while an unhealthy relationship may involve clinginess, manipulation, or abuse. This extends to one's own self-expression. Like you expressed, an insecure person might do everything they can to put others down while convincing themselves that they are the best thing ever. I think the center of masculinity and also femininity is and should be virtue. Physical strength means nothing if it is not applied in service of others. Compassion would be hindered by selfishness. An identity without humility, that we build ourselves to tower over others, is bound to fall. Similar to what you said actually, masculinity should be composed of all the absolute best qualities.
Was the original comic upon which "Heartstopper" was based on written and drawn by a woman? I feel that's the reason why there's such a nuanced, subtle critique of toxic masculinity within this show. Outsiders, like women, have a far more sophisticated take on toxic masculinity than most men, who live with that reality day in and day out.
I love your videos PoG and I love that you are so concerned about stuff like this and social justice. As I fellow Brit I can't help wishing that our government was made up of people like you instead of the crooks we've got at the moment.
Tbh I, as a man, dont care about masculinity. I do what I want to. This doesnt mean that I have to embrace "femininty", it just means that I get to choose what I want to take out of the toolbox of life. I do like seeing shows deconstruct toxic masculinity, especially to help those that are stuck even unconciously in thinking they have to be a certain kind of men. This should exist, as well as shows, where masculinity and femininity dont exist anymore. Men, Women, NBs can exist as they like, and there no longer is a notion of masculinity, because men are no longer confined to having to serve patriarchal expectations (I want this for everyone, this just is about toxic masc right now). It should be more important to be a good person than to try to be a "real men"
Oh, the original comic was written and illustrated by Alice Oseman. Yep, I was right--a woman was the one who deconstructed toxic masculinity so deftly in "Heartstopper." It just seemed too subtle a take-down that most men, gay or straight, wouldn't be objective enough to do.
God, just seeing Harry in this video is making me cringe and you dodn't even play any of his audio. Seriously, people like him were not fun to be around for me back in school.
Bro you sound so much like Paul Joseph Watson that I can't decide if this is a wholesome channel or a second channel owned by PJW making people feel unsafe and uncomfortable LMAO.
If I had one complaint about Heartstopper it’s Ben. In the comics, Ben more or less disappears after Charlie scares him off at Harry’s party. Having him return in the penultimate episode as an antagonist devalues that moment and makes Charlie telling him to leave him alone again feel hollow.
but in the story, (i have read solitaire) ben doesn't go away. rather, he causes a huge mess & attempts to beat up charlie because tori goes into the same class as ben & tells him about charlie's ex & he grows paranoid. remember she doesn't know who charlie's 'knob' of a boyfriend is. (i think this incident will happen after vol 5 of the graphic novels or in vol 5 since solitaire takes place during that time period). i don't think ben is going to go away anytime soon even though he isn't in the comics much. i think they're gonna wrap up his character someway rather than just leaving him out. we'll see.
@@adamnreader4599 I have now also read Solitaire (not sure if I had at the time), it is worth bearing in mind it takes place about a year after the events this series covers. [Around Chapter 6 of the comics on webtoons] I stand by all of what I said, though I agree with you that Ben's gonna be around for the long haul in the show, if only because they like his actor.
I kind of hate these wonderfully sweet descriptions of masculinity as "strength of character"...like...I know you mean well, Kit, buuuut do you think its something reserved for masculine people? Are women and feminine people weak of character? Thats kinda misogynistic, if you asked me.
Why can't being masculine be strength of character? Just because it's in masculine doesn't been it can't be in femininity. They do not have to be opposites, since they are only social constructs. Do you want masculine and femininity to one good one bad?
I’m sorry, but these things deemed “toxic masculinity” are things female partners want. I’m not sure about gay guys, but because most men are into women, here is my advice. They want a strong confident and emotionally stable man. Anything less and they won’t take you seriously. Take it from a formerly overly sensitive man with experience. And due to modern western culture where feminine traits and valuable roles such as a housewife are deemed harmful (which is why the obesity epidemic is so bad btw. Cooking from scratch is a thing of the past), women want a partner that can provide for them and/or makes more money than her. They are indoctrinated to think it’s okay to have preferences that correspond with traditional roles, but they have no traditional roles to offer. Traditional roles didn’t come out of thin air just so we are aware. They are biological. It’s no shock that women that follow the modern indoctrination end up desperate to start a family and care for children when they hit 40.
I’ve read many - before and during university! I’m not entirely sure what your contention is here. Are you claiming that masculinity isn’t socially constructed? And if not, what’s your alternative?
Ex negativo have you ever read history book? You sound so genuinely goofy masculinity in different cultures and time periods changes. Like in Scotland it’s masculine to wear a kilt where as in other place in the world you’d just be seen as dude in skirt (which would be presenting as feminine). Or in ancient Greece it was masculine for dudes to kiss dudes while now a days it’s not seen that way back then it was.
@@samueldenis9833 Doesn't that prove it's more of a social contruct? Masculine is what your culture says it is, what your family believes it is and what what you believe. Masculinity changing from Scotland to Greece shows that.
I had very little expectations going into heartstopper, but it absolutely blew me away with how sincere it was. It was so refreshing to be able to see a story about lgbtq people that wasn’t centered around the trauma they have to go to, even though it didn’t shy away from that. How nick and Charlie’s relationship forms and blossoms is so wonderful, and I of course love how it handled masculinity in Reagan’s to its connections (or lack thereof) to sexuality. Absolutely wonderful show.
I love that Nick doesn't give up the traditional masculine things when he discovers his sexuality. He is still the best player at the rugby team, he doesn't change his mannerisms, he is still his own person. Because sexuality is not the same as personality and one can still be masculine and queer. Hell, Tao, the token straight friend, is more flamboyant than any of the queer characters.
This is such a great little exploration of Nick's masculinity!
I'm really excited to see how season 2 of Heartstopper continues to explore Nick's masculinity, especially in regards to his family situation. In the comic we learn that Nick's parents are divorced, and Nick never gets to see his dad, and that he has an older brother who is awful, and I think all of this plays a part in Nick's concept of masculinity.
Being primarily raised by a single mother, with an absent father, I think is so important to Nick's character. It's something that I think would get his masculinity questioned---being a "Mama's Boy" doesn't exactly fit the mold for hypermasculinity. And without his dad around, without any kind of male role model (let alone a positive male role model), Nick would've REALLY had to create his own idea of masculinity based on what his peers were doing, which is exactly what he did, for better or worse, even if it never really fit him (which is, incidentally, something else I love, how clear it is right off the bat that Nick is kind and sweet and soft-hearted and just different from this other boys, even if he's afraid to show it. Nick never has to learn to be better, he just has to learn that it's okay to be himself.)
And then there's David, Nick's older brother, and perhaps the only concrete example of masculinity Nick would've had growing up, after his dad left. It's pretty clear, though, that Nick wants nothing to do with David's form of masculinity. David is so angry and toxic and homophobic and just plain mean to Nick. But by the point in the story that he is introduced, Nick is sure of himself and his sexuality enough to shut his brother down instantly, to stand up for himself without hesitation. Not only has Nick established an alternative masculinity for himself, in being brave enough to simply be himself and to love who he is, he's actively rejecting toxic masculinity and fighting against it.
Great points!
This was a interesting and thoughtful analysis of Nick’s messages about masculinity. Thanks for sharing
Just yesterday I was watching a video in Spanish which ended with a message that went more or less like "Worse than losing, is losing yourself" and I think it perfectly encapsulates this concept your explained about being masculine by being brave enough to be yourself rather than a big muscled dude
This is still one of my favorite videos about Heartstopper. I like that you looked at it from a different perspective than most people while still absolutely discussing very central themes to the show. The show models such healthy communication and self love among all other types of love.
I was stunned by how well Heartstopper portrayed romance. It was not sappy, nor was it in your face. This topic I am familiar with. In America, it is taught that males are strong, emotionless, and tough. I was not growing up and my dad never let me forget that. He verbally bullied me to the point I withdrew from everything around me and focused on books and music. As gay I repressed who I was for many years. Heartstopper showed me I could be me and I was not a sissy, dad's term for me. This masculine toxicity needs to stop so that other guys can be themselves.
I'm so sorry you went through that! Sending hugs from afar.
I had never heard of this show before now, but you are absolutely right. With so many grifters out there telling us the only way to be "masculine" is to buy their testosterone pills or die for a country that doesn't respect us, it's important to have media call out the bullshit that we witness on a day-to-day basis. Keep up the fantastic work!
I’m watching this the day after Kit Connor came out reluctantly on Twitter. Your video takes on more weight through that lens.
:(
"Becon of hope" well until the bloody door gets ripped off in season 2 absolute depression 💀
One of my favourite creators making a video on one of my favourite shows! This video is going to be great
Great video as always PoG!! I had no idea that interview was out there that’s so cool! I always love it when my read on something is validated by those who made it 🥰 Nick’s story really is so powerful, seeing him work to escape the box he’d been forced into and wrestle with the amount of changes his life would go through if he stopped conforming was so moving, and the actor had a masterful ability to exhibit subtle body language and facial expressions to indicate his state of mind without a single word said in a way that really sold the struggle he was going through.
I definitely think that reforging masculinity is a necessary thing moving forward.
Great video! Can’t wait for season 2, I really wanna see them go deep with Charlie eating disorder, since I do relate a lot, about him wanting control and stuff.
Thanks a lot!!!!! you are very clear and helped me a lot with my final exam about gender and minorities!!! Keep on posting videos like this one !!
Happy to help!
Pillar of garbage is my heart stopper 💜 ♥️ ❤️
At 9:02. Harry was definitely working in the thick of toxic masculinity. He was almost its totem in the show. But as a gay man, I can say that there are many Bens in the community--emotionally manipulative, insecure, nasty men who toy around with the feelings of other men to make themselves feel good and powerful. In other words, simple d*uchebags. Those come in the gay varieties too. And that has nothing to do with toxic masculinity and mostly to do with very low self-esteem and lashing out in anger to externally validate oneself. Which is not a gendered thing--lots of women do this too (that's what the movie "Mean Girls" was all about).
I haven’t seen Heartstopper, but your video was good as always! I can’t really comment on the content as much as in previous videos because I haven’t seen the show, but it was interesting nonetheless. A show that I’ve watched recently that I also think handles toxic (and just general) masculinity well is Ted Lasso. It’s about a football team (partially), but they don’t act stereotypically masculine. Roy Kent probably did the most, but part of his arc was about becoming less toxically masculine (especially in season 2). This comment was kind of an excuse to gush about Ted Lasso, but also your video was good!
Heard great things about Ted Lasso! Hopefully I’ll be able to give it a watch!
I LOVED it! 🥰🥰 really love your channel mate ❤️
Glad to see you enjoyed this gem.
Great video!! Interesting topic and insights.
I do think that there is a universal idea of what a man is. If you look at the ancient civilizations, though their cultures may be different, their perception of masculinity aligns in many ways. The idea of what a man is for most people nowadays will probably also align in many areas.
Note that this doesn't mean the toxic expression of masculinity is okay. The way I see it, there will always be a healthy and an unhealthy way to do something. In more obvious ways, this includes eating or exercising. If one eats healthy, that fosters strong growth. If one does not, it can cause a myriad of health issues down the line. In less obvious ways, this might include the way we treat other people. A healthy relationship includes selflessness, compassion, and maybe some level of independence, while an unhealthy relationship may involve clinginess, manipulation, or abuse. This extends to one's own self-expression. Like you expressed, an insecure person might do everything they can to put others down while convincing themselves that they are the best thing ever.
I think the center of masculinity and also femininity is and should be virtue. Physical strength means nothing if it is not applied in service of others. Compassion would be hindered by selfishness. An identity without humility, that we build ourselves to tower over others, is bound to fall.
Similar to what you said actually, masculinity should be composed of all the absolute best qualities.
Which idiot disliked this? This is amazing.
Me and everybody in the south of europe
Shows like this inspire me
To sign up for the army
Was the original comic upon which "Heartstopper" was based on written and drawn by a woman? I feel that's the reason why there's such a nuanced, subtle critique of toxic masculinity within this show. Outsiders, like women, have a far more sophisticated take on toxic masculinity than most men, who live with that reality day in and day out.
I love your videos PoG and I love that you are so concerned about stuff like this and social justice. As I fellow Brit I can't help wishing that our government was made up of people like you instead of the crooks we've got at the moment.
Tbh I, as a man, dont care about masculinity. I do what I want to. This doesnt mean that I have to embrace "femininty", it just means that I get to choose what I want to take out of the toolbox of life. I do like seeing shows deconstruct toxic masculinity, especially to help those that are stuck even unconciously in thinking they have to be a certain kind of men. This should exist, as well as shows, where masculinity and femininity dont exist anymore. Men, Women, NBs can exist as they like, and there no longer is a notion of masculinity, because men are no longer confined to having to serve patriarchal expectations (I want this for everyone, this just is about toxic masc right now).
It should be more important to be a good person than to try to be a "real men"
Oh, the original comic was written and illustrated by Alice Oseman. Yep, I was right--a woman was the one who deconstructed toxic masculinity so deftly in "Heartstopper." It just seemed too subtle a take-down that most men, gay or straight, wouldn't be objective enough to do.
kinda feels like things are maybe heading towards a more universal set of what is seen as good? not split by gender?
God, just seeing Harry in this video is making me cringe and you dodn't even play any of his audio.
Seriously, people like him were not fun to be around for me back in school.
Oh, trust me, I know!
Bro you sound so much like Paul Joseph Watson that I can't decide if this is a wholesome channel or a second channel owned by PJW making people feel unsafe and uncomfortable LMAO.
If I had one complaint about Heartstopper it’s Ben. In the comics, Ben more or less disappears after Charlie scares him off at Harry’s party. Having him return in the penultimate episode as an antagonist devalues that moment and makes Charlie telling him to leave him alone again feel hollow.
but in the story, (i have read solitaire) ben doesn't go away. rather, he causes a huge mess & attempts to beat up charlie because tori goes into the same class as ben & tells him about charlie's ex & he grows paranoid. remember she doesn't know who charlie's 'knob' of a boyfriend is. (i think this incident will happen after vol 5 of the graphic novels or in vol 5 since solitaire takes place during that time period). i don't think ben is going to go away anytime soon even though he isn't in the comics much. i think they're gonna wrap up his character someway rather than just leaving him out. we'll see.
@@adamnreader4599 I have now also read Solitaire (not sure if I had at the time), it is worth bearing in mind it takes place about a year after the events this series covers. [Around Chapter 6 of the comics on webtoons] I stand by all of what I said, though I agree with you that Ben's gonna be around for the long haul in the show, if only because they like his actor.
I think we can fix masculinity, with better masculinity. Can we fix capitalism with better capitalism?
yes please!
I kind of hate these wonderfully sweet descriptions of masculinity as "strength of character"...like...I know you mean well, Kit, buuuut do you think its something reserved for masculine people? Are women and feminine people weak of character? Thats kinda misogynistic, if you asked me.
That’s not what he meant. He’s 18, give him a break for trying.
Why can't being masculine be strength of character? Just because it's in masculine doesn't been it can't be in femininity. They do not have to be opposites, since they are only social constructs. Do you want masculine and femininity to one good one bad?
I’m sorry, but these things deemed “toxic masculinity” are things female partners want. I’m not sure about gay guys, but because most men are into women, here is my advice. They want a strong confident and emotionally stable man. Anything less and they won’t take you seriously. Take it from a formerly overly sensitive man with experience. And due to modern western culture where feminine traits and valuable roles such as a housewife are deemed harmful (which is why the obesity epidemic is so bad btw. Cooking from scratch is a thing of the past), women want a partner that can provide for them and/or makes more money than her. They are indoctrinated to think it’s okay to have preferences that correspond with traditional roles, but they have no traditional roles to offer. Traditional roles didn’t come out of thin air just so we are aware. They are biological. It’s no shock that women that follow the modern indoctrination end up desperate to start a family and care for children when they hit 40.
i wonder why they didn't take you seriously
in this new year i wish for you to feel the touch of a woman
No such thing as Toxic Masculinity.
There absolutely is.
yes there is
What an incredibly idiotic thing to say that "masculinity" is a subject concept. Did you ever read a history book?
I’ve read many - before and during university! I’m not entirely sure what your contention is here. Are you claiming that masculinity isn’t socially constructed? And if not, what’s your alternative?
@@PillarofGarbage you owe proof that masculinity is a social construct. Be my guest, please make a fool of yourself.
Ex negativo have you ever read history book? You sound so genuinely goofy masculinity in different cultures and time periods changes. Like in Scotland it’s masculine to wear a kilt where as in other place in the world you’d just be seen as dude in skirt (which would be presenting as feminine). Or in ancient Greece it was masculine for dudes to kiss dudes while now a days it’s not seen that way back then it was.
@@samueldenis9833 Doesn't that prove it's more of a social contruct? Masculine is what your culture says it is, what your family believes it is and what what you believe. Masculinity changing from Scotland to Greece shows that.