There's no such thing as "daycare sleep"
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
- "My 17-week-old is not sleeping at daycare! I asked today when the last time he napped was, and they said, "I don't know if he has had a nap today." He is at daycare from 8 AM to 5:30 PM, and they said the most he naps is 15 to 30 minute cat naps here and there, which is insane to me. Do you have any tips or recommendations for daycare sleep?
MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? Sign up here for coaching with Suzanne: www.suzanneven...
Babies need their moms so intensely the first 3 years of life. I am so thankful that I have been able to be home raising our 4 babies. We always prioritize naps.
Amen!
Yep! I was so blessed to be able to stay home until our third child entered 2nd grade, when I chose to go back to work. However, as our oldest entered high school, my husband asked me to go back to staying home because he and his brother got in a lot of trouble with the law because their single mom was never around. So, I left my engineering job and tutored math and science from home. The bad part is, I have never been able to get back into engineering!😢
@@smith899 I have been home with my 4 kids for 20 years. I think kids definitely need a mom home as teenagers. I would say it is almost as important as when they are little. That means I never used my degree. I am now substitute teaching in my kids district a couple times a week. Same hours as my kids and we have been able to cash flow college for my oldest.
Same. My hubby gets a bit annoyed with the naps/early bedtimes on the weekends since he wants to get out of the house and "play" but our youngest ones NEED their sleep. They're no fun to bring anywhere when they're sleep deprived anyway.
Agreed. My kids took naps all the way up until 3rd/ 4th grade.
Being a mother is a God given role.
I’ve never felt more purpose in my life until becoming a mother.
it is biological reality, actually
Wish the west would treat it as such
Amen! Being a mother is Such a gift. ✝️
It is a blessing. 💛
My mother had a home daycare when I was growing up. She kept 6 to 8 children from infant to 4 years old. She had an amazing routine and loved those children like her own. She managed to get every one of them to sleep from 1 to 3 each afternoon. Maybe the key was the routine and the fact that they felt loved and safe. The moms would remark that the kids slept better for her than at home. I realize my mom was a rare gem. I hope they knew how blessed they were.
Lovely. Thanks for sharing. Nice to read a good story in the comments. Lol
Small home daycares make more sense because of individualized care and attention. Big daycares with rotating workers not so much 😢
I was about to make a similar comment! My mom also has a home day care and I have helped he throughout the years. She has always prioritized naps not just because it’s good for them but that also means she/we would get a little break so she always had a structured routine that prioritized naps. Also she genuinely cares about every baby! Obviously it would be best if mom could stay home and take care of their babies but if that’s not an option then maybe keep looking for a good home daycare. Also there were periods of time where my mom would only have 1-2 kids at a time so that means even more personalized attention.
As I'm writing this comment, the younguns I care for are having their naps... lol
Home day care provider. 😊 most of the children I take care of, have been with me since they were just a few months old and I love them like family.
Home daycare provider here too....tho I just started a few months ago
When you said 17 weeks, my heart broke. It’s so sad that generations of women have been sold a lie.
Same here, I just wouldn't abandon that bub in anybody else's care. It's abandonment at that age, regardless of one's justification.. I understand that some people think they don't have the financial means, but we're far from being wealthy, don't own our home, live on less in the countryside in a foreign country with zero family and friends around to help and are happier than any of us has ever been. My kids will start going to kindergarten at age 3 for 4h/day. Until then I'm home with them
A couple generations, actually. And most still refuse to see it.
@@gabib.1780Call me old fashion, but kindergarten at three seems too early. We went when we were 5, and my opinion is even 5 is too young. I would homeschool If my kids were young again.
It boggles my mind that people cannot see it or see no problem with it... how did it become the social norm? How did this lie get sold and why did people buy into it? I still get stunned when receiving advice to essentially leave my 1 year old for all day every day... and was encouraged to leave for week/s for "vacation" without him when he was only months old (which I refused)... Just felt so wrong, like they are trying to convince that boiling hot water is cool enough to stick my arm in it 🤯
I can’t fathom putting an infant in daycare. I’m all for putting your child in daycare when they’re 2/2.5 to prep for preschool. My daughter is an only child and that’s exactly what we did and it’s been a huge success. I wouldn’t do it differently if I could. But an infant?? AN INFANT????? Absolutely not.
Daycare is not a natural thing, but neither is public school, but no one wants to have that conversation. Keep your babies at home, and raise your children yourself. Teach them. Love them.
🎯🎯🎯
🙋♀️🙋♀️i wanna have that conversation! Keep your babies home!
Agree! 💯
The problem is women wouldn't get out of the workforce when the men came back from war and decided it was their place to work. Now we can't afford to stay home or we have to work because we can't afford not to😔
The book Hold On to Your Kids-why parents should matter more than peers, is a must read for the science of this.
So glad you are speaking out on this. I'm so tired of the narrative that is out there that wanting to raise your own kids at home is weird. How did we get to this point in society?
The women's lib movement
Government pushing socialism
Part of Their plan...and it's been working :-/
@@pbj4338 more like WWII... that's when women were actually pushed to work. It's been the same since
@@belzeebubbubbachunks There was actually a big push in the 50's for women to get back to homemaking and be in the home. However, there were some women who didn't want to and I think that was the start of the women's lib movement. It just took 20 years to really take off.
I worked in a daycare and the babies room was the saddest room. There were 2 workers and around 10 babies. One basically just changed diapers. They had to change the babies every so many minutes. Pretty much by the time she finished it was time to start over. They kept a chart.
The other worker would give the babies their bottles. One after the other.
If the babies weren't being fed or changed they were put in swings to nap.
It was so so sad. After my experience in that daycare I knew that I could never ever put my kids in daycare. I will live in a smaller house and drive older cars if it means I csn stay home with my babies.
I myself had a SAHM and I consider it one of the best blessings of my life. I'm so thankful that she did that for my siblings and me.
As a new stay home mom I just want to thank you, I find so much reassurance in your videos and am reminded why my husband and I chose this path for our family.
I am now a mom of a 6 and 7 year old and am a SAHM. I left my career (high level) to do it and I have to say it’s the most rewarding and satisfying work I can do. Kids need their mom.
You’re doing the right thing. Please block out the other voices you hear that say otherwise because they will come.
Wait until they are adults. The fruit finally ripens. My kids are such amazing people. Have all the right things going for them. I encourage you to stay home until they leave the house. It is sooooo worth it.
You will NEVER regret staying at home with your babies :-)
Trust me- you’re definitely doing the right thing to stay at home with your baby. I stayed home with all of mine and I am glad I did.
I worked at a daycare when I was 17 with hardly any education, only the basic basics from my high school psychology class. I was usually put in the baby room, which I had to take care of 5 babies at once, ages from 3 months to a year (and which babies I had switched every day). I had to go around the room and deal with each crying baby one at a time. I was left by myself with no experience and I begged for training or anything (the owner brushed off btw). I was taught how to change their diapers and how often to feed them and that's it. One 5 month old would cry all the time to be held, which the other staff members called him spoiled and bad. I tried to just bring all the babies to the carpet and take turns playing with them. It was against regulations to let the babies sleep in swings but they wouldn't sleep in the cribs so I let them anyway. I didn't even know they were supposed to get that much sleep in a day. I had to quit after a month or two because I felt so guilty the children had such awful care. I sat in on the 2 year old room twice and that lady literally yelled at them all day. I asked her about it and she said it was the only way they'd listen. She kept yelling at them to pick up the room, and out of 15 kids only 1 kid did. Which I asked them if they even knew what that meant and they said no. I tried to stay as long as I could at that daycare because even though I didn't know what to do I was at least gentle and kind to the kids. But now having my own son I realize even more how bad it was for them. My heart breaks for those children.
I see too many women wanting kids but have no idea what a mother is and how to be a mother
Those of us who are mothers and are here for our families, and children are villianized in today's society. The world had gone bonkers!
@@Leo-mr1qzain't that the truth. trying to be a good parent with very little help (the help received is actually detrimental), and the little help i get also comes with the phrase, "just put 'em in daycare". And the people who say that act like they're smarter/better for doing it with their child/ren and they have more degrees so i must listen 😓 i just don't see the purpose of having children if you're not going to care for them yourself? My own parents didn't raise me and i believe it causes a lot of lasting damage subconsciously... i guess the proof will be seen in the pudding once our children are all adults, but boy do i feel sad for so many children out there...
What does that tell you about the parents of today's parents?
@@hxdcm I wholeheartedly agree with you. 💜
My mother had to use her degree to feel important in life, and my brothers and I suffered for it. She didn't have to work, my father was in the top 1% income bracket, but she chose herself over us. It did leave lasting damage.
I have always been an advocate for raising your own children. I've found that my kids have trouble with the daycare kids. Those poor kids are neglected from the start and they develop all sorts of ways to deal with that hurt. Most of the time it's by disrupting the class during lessons, picking on other children, and /or just being a plain out sh!try individual.
You are doing great!! Haters are gonna hate. You know what's right in your heart. Stick to your instincts❣
@@Leo-mr1qz i hope you are feeling better now and are recovering emotionally and mentally. I think the best thing we can do is try to provide to our children what our moms refused to provide for us.
Yes there are many "haters" which truly is astonishing to me and it's funny how you mention the issues of day care children (I have my own issues from childhood so i try to understand their behavior and believe that they are acting out of fear)! Some highly accomplished and intelligent in laws keep telling me how to raise my child and pushing my husband to follow their views (I keep saying I'll consider it for the future to avoid conflict to make the encounters short and sweet). I do not offer any child advice to them as they think they know better anyway.
These same people leave their child in daycare, this child gets sick all the time, and before 1 year old they sent their child away to grandparents (thousands of miles away) for months, separating from the mother for a long time. This same child attacks my younger child nonstop while visiting them (chokeholds, pushing over and shoving into the ground, hitting, scratching at the face/eyes with nails, hair pulling). I had to stay on high alert the whole visit as this child would dive for mine in half a second when mine is just minding his business playing with toys.
This same child kept coming up to me for food, milk, helping her with naptime, etc and wanted me to tuck her into bed when her mom was present (keep in mind I just met this child). The child then cried and was scared and yelled for her mom when I picked her up. I found this interaction to be so interesting...
These are the people telling me what to do and at the same time, I cannot value their opinion as I believe they have blinders on when it comes to the needs of babies/toddlers. There is likely some fear of abandonment/attachment issues at play. The mother did not really need to send her baby away and did not need daycare... should she put an extra degree on hold until the baby was older or do night classes, etc.
Personally I think it is selfish to have then not care for your own children when you have options and are not struggling... I truly can appreciate the need for education and accomplishment, but at what cost? I'm not trying to mom shame but I just don't understand having children to send them away when they are so young because it's inconvenient to getting a masters/PhD...
Our neighbors have asked us several times to watch their dog when they are out of town.That poor dog refuses to eat for days until the owners come home. The second he sees them, he starts chowing down on like 3 bowls of food at once. He's so relieved his owners are home, he can relax and eat. This is a dog I'm talking about. Imagine how a child feels when you abandon him at a strange place everyday.
Children are not dogs. Dogs are not children. Stop comparing them!!
@@courtneybracken2138 I was merely saying that if a dog gets that upset and can't relax when his owners leave, how would a child feel when their parents leave them? It was just an analogy, calm down, geez
@@courtneybracken2138At the early stages, children are like dogs. Both need a routine and training, both crave love and affection.
Our family used to belong to a church that operated a day care. When our kids were older and in school all day, my wife went to work in the day care, part time. She lasted only a few weeks. She said it broke her heart, seeing those little kids crying for their mothers. I really think day care is a form of child abuse. We lived on just my income and did without a lot of the "extras." But having our children raised by their mother, full time, was and is worth way more than the difference in money.
“ Daycare is a form of child abuse.” Sadly I agree. It’s light neglect at best. The children might get their physical needs met but their psychological and emotional needs go mostly unmet.
Agree 100% my mother and I don't really have a bond because she always put work before everything,I remember just being miserable and crying everyday wanting my mom,I never slept in daycare just laid on an uncomfortable plastic cot and cried, then she would come home really late from work and have zero energy and be too frustrated to be a mother, childrens feelings and development aren't taken into consideration at all
@@happyd1479This is why women should have choices. Our lives reverberate throughout the community. Why they say...if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
It’s emotional abuse and a form of neglect. Women have been lied to and it’s so sad
@@marciamartins1992 yea tbh if ur going to put career first maybe you shouldn't have kids because it's not fair to deprive them of a mother ,or workplaces could be flexible and realize a majority of women have children and offer work from home etc
Sleep is one of the reasons why I homeschool my children. I know lots of school age children who are also sleep deprived. Our society is not set up in the best interests of families or children.
💯
Thank you Suzanne for saying all this. When I stayed home with my children in the 90s people would look at me like I had three heads when I said I didn’t go to work so I can be home with my children. I always knew it was best for them even though we drove old cars and lived in a two family house for the first few years.
I have been in social work for 14 years. It has been my experience that children sleep where they feel safe and loved. It always broke my heart to see infants go to daycare. They simply do not get the cuddling and nurturing that they need in that environment. I adjusted my work schedule to care for my granddaughter because her parents had to work and it meant more to me to earn less for 3 years to make sure she had the same start as my son, her dad. Young mothers are clueless. Her mom continues to think daycare is better than being home with a family member. I am college educated with a background in early childhood education as well but she refused to listen to me. My granddaughter is now in daycare 3 months shy of her 3rd birthday. She has developed a chronic runny nose, restless sleep that is broken with her screaming for her mom. But her mother has been determined to keep her there. My heart aches for her daily because daycare was not needed for her. I am a qualified, viable option.
If she only knew the damage she is creating.....God Bless you. Do what you can.
Well your son should just set his wife straight lol
That is one twisted dil. I feel sorry for the baby and your son.
This is so sad.
Breaks my heart. 😢
Not sure how this came across my feed as it's been over 20 years since I was nursing babies and juggling nap schedules but as I retired teacher I can tell I have seen this damage especially in this push for younger PreK in public schools. We have a covid generation that is feral and now getting crowded in large classes where they get less nap time and less individual attention to create emotional secure children. They are starved for affection through human interaction and sleep deprived but expected to learn academics before their basic needs are met. then we teachers are vilified because we can't fix it. Glad someone like you is speaking out.
This is just crazy. 😢 and amen sister. Thank you for saying the hard things in a society that makes women feel less than if they're not working a full time job, even if they have kids. For a long time I wasn't sure if I was ever going to have kids because I thought I just had to work full-time and support myself and that's all there was to life. Not to mention I don't have any college education and was basically working dead-end jobs in grocery stores that were paying just above minimum wage. I'm so grateful that I met my husband and that we had a child together and that he wants me to stay home while he provides for us. We're barely making ends meet financially but to me it is so worth it to be able to raise my own child instead of giving him to the state to raise. He's only one and a half right now but I plan to homeschool. I have no idea how to go about that but I'm going to do my best because raising my child is me and my husband's responsibility.
I hold this same view. I have three children five and under. They'll be homeschooled. My husband is the one with the income and we make it work.
I bought the lie that I needed an education beyond high school and I needed to follow my dreams. My first year of teaching, God was showing me he wanted me to be a homemaker. I followed him and not my desires. Is it hard? Absolutely. There are times I think about going back to work, but reality is my children need me. I want to be there. I don't want anyone else taking the responsibility God gave to me.
I am so sad for that baby. When my babies were that young they napped on me always. I loved having them that close to me and it breaks my heart to hear these stories! The lies women have been told about prioritizing their careers and themselves is so harmful. Thank you for speaking against this!
Yes, I did baby wearing for all my kids at that age. They literally slept on me for most of their naps until they were about 6 months old and were more aware of their surroundings and slept better in the crib.
Everywhere I turn I see so much disdain for children and so much hate for mothers who enjoy their children. It's honestly so depressing. Thank you so much for speaking up about these important issues.
I worked in daycares and it was the saddest time, I was never able to hold them and give them that one on one. I also worked as a nanny and at least they were given my full attention and love etc. But I always thought it's your Momma that should be here and was sad to see all they were missing!
Now I am a Momma to my own sweet girl and no one else is going to give her the love, snuggles, and boundaries that I and her Dad can ❤️ I'm glad to be able to love on my own baby for a change! 😊
Same here.
It gives me anxiety when I hear some of them crying. It’s such a sad cry… it just breaks my heart.
My partner was a nanny as well, she was strict but fantastic with the kids and treated them as her own, it's sad she was being the mother figure while the actual mother was out working and flirting with other men. Even when they grew up I could see how fond they were of my partner, she showed them more affection than the actual mother.
I am currently working in the mental health profession (admittedly still somewhat green) and some trends I am observing in my client population are:
A) Parents are not always well informed about what it means to have kids and/or they aren't prepared to transition into the responsibilities of parenting. I.e. Life stops being about them and becomes about the children - they struggle to refocus. They have a litter of kids and are like "wow! this is hard and exhausting!" ... did no one tell them?
B) People are not well prepared for relationships and families. When asked, many of my couples/parents have no long-term vision or plan for their family unit, and have never thought about it. "What values/goals/aspirations do you have for your children now and into the future?" - "I dunno. What ever works". "What does being married mean to you?" - "It is just something that ya do, I guess".
I bring this up, mostly to vent, but also because parents not questioning or knowing what their own children need, and not being taught how to consider these things, is concerning.
That's just my 2c
Ever thought of starting a blog on these topics? If it's reoccurring probably worth discussing ona public platform like social media.
When I was a new mom, a woman in the church nursing room recommended that I use the 2-3-4 schedule for sleep. Two hours after waking up, first nap. Three hours after first nap, second nap. Four hours after the second nap, bedtime. It was seriously wonderful advice.
wow, that is awesome! What ages would you recommend that for?
@@sublimesamoyed starting around 3 or 4 months and then until around a year or so when they tend to go to maybe just an afternoon nap.
"I'm not willing to throw children especially babies under the bus so that no one gets their feelings hurt" ❤
I worked at multiple daycares. There were always babies crying and infants waking each other up. The ratio was 1 worker to 5 babies.
This makes me cringe
The reason I quit my job to wait my baby be at least 2 to go to part time day care. When I visited the daycares and saw 1 care for 4 babies I couldn't relax. I wouldn't not be able to be in peace. So I kept him at home while working part with with a nanny and my mom until he is almost 1 y.o and now I quit to stay with him since we are also moving out of CA. Here is 1:4 babies there is no way one person can give good care for 4 infants!
This was what my aunt said too (she was a daycare director for years at YMCA) and from what I’ve heard from her I would never put my child in daycare full time. Not saying when they are older it is not beneficial for mom and child… but not sure about that
i worked at a daycare and had my som there as well and witnessed abuse during naptime. the workers had too many kids and smothered them to sleep when they would fight naptime. i reported the abuse to the administrator and she made me leave my job and defended the woman that smother the children
This actually makes me so furious and heartbroken
I have 4 children. When my oldest was about a month old, his mother had to stay in the hospital for a day and a half. He was so upset he refused to feed for hours. And wouldn't sleep during that time, and cried for the entirety of that time until he was horse. Fortunately his mother came home fairly soon. There is no way to no know for certain how detrimental childcare would be.
Your videos have given me the courage to become a SAHM to our 3 year old. I’ve worked from home since he was born & currently my husband takes care of our son while I work. This arrangement worked out well until our son was about 2.5 & was able to state his preference that I be his primary caregiver & play partner. Most days since are a battle of me juggling work & helping care for a 3 year old who doesn’t understand why mommy can’t do x or y with him right now even though I’m home with him. So my husband & I have decided this is insanity, we can’t continue to do this & he’ll be going back to FT work outside the home so I can be home with our son.
My perspective comes from a stay at home and home educator of 3 children who previously worked in early education: If this mother cannot stay at home with her child then she must find a better childcare situation. If a daycare center isn't tracking sleep, feedings, and diapers and communicating that regularly to parents then it isn't a daycare you want to consider. In fact the better places even overstep a bit and ask parents to follow their nap schedule on weekends at home.
I don't get why women won't sacrifice at least for the first year! Yes, it's a sacrifice, but it will make all the difference.
Yes that's true... much better for the children if they have the same or similar schedule at home and with the day care.
@spiritranger9202 because there's no paid maternity leave in the US. Where I live in Europe, we get 11 months paid with the option to take the second year unpaid and still have your job kept open. If a woman does choose to go back to work before her maternity leave ends, she gets to go home 2 hours earlier every day, fully paid. It's shocking to people outside of the US to see this system of literally no support for new mothers! I've literally never met a woman in my life who thought 'I wish I was in the US and had to either go back to work right after the baby is born or totally give up my job'.
I held my first born for every nap and as she got older, I laid with her the entire time. It was the only way she'd nap deeply. I cherished every moment. She's a teen now and we're very close. I couldnt hold my 2nd child nearly as much, but he napped well. I would rock and sing him to sleep and then put him down.
Thank you for this invaluable information.
I’m 24 and am setting myself up to be able to stay home with my children.
I’ve read books like the conscious parent and I’ve actually been learning and reparenting myself through the amazing work people like you share.
Thank you thank you thank you ❤
You always share what i intuitively know and make me feel not so crazy. I’m a maniac when it comes to sleep. My daughter is 1 and now needs day care (so sad abt it) and I drop her off late to make sure she can get the first nap she needs at home. They tried to tell me she will get used to it and fight me on dropping her late. I said I don’t want her “getting used to sleep deprivation” she’s in day care not military training. I’ll bring her a little late and she will be more pleasant for the teachers too. We have to be advocates. Sleep is vital.
Right, i think you are born with intuition for a reason. I think it is smart to prioritize sleep. I would figure it should be common sense since children grow so quickly and sleep is so regenerative -- I'm sure intuitively that sleep has to greatly affect a child's brain, mood, hormones, immune system etc (yet I get flak from the scientists i know using daycare since I'm a maniac about good sleep, too). People can really make you feel like an odd duck for priortizing your children. I'm sorry about your situation and hope things work out in favor of your family.
As someone that worked as a Daycare Assistant for over 10 years. Venker is absolutely right.
Parents that expect Daycares to prioritize your child like you do as a Parent, are out of touch.
I worked in a center with over 7 kids.
when an activity was proposed there was always a few kids that did not participate. they were ignored (left to play with the toys, minimal supervision).
Nap time, every kid is expected to sleep but many dont because they either miss their parents or some toy or environmental aspect that they have back home that helped them sleep was missing at the daycare. Ignored. Now and then we would walk in and tuck the kid back in but that never guaranteed they would fall asleep.
Sleep is vitally important to the kid but for parents to think we are just going to drop everything to satisfy YOUR kid is beyond reasonable.
The only time every kid did the same thing was lunch time, haha. Messy but they ate well.
As long as the kids were occupied and not bawling their eyes out screaming for their mommy or daddy, it counted as a Good Day when the parent came for pickup and asked how the kid's day was and only if the parent asked that specific question did we have to mention anything. I cant even remember if any parents asked "How many hours of sleep did he/she get", it was more like "did they sleep well" - Yes.
Since the daycare I worked at was pretty well known we only had parents that both worked or one parent worked but since they were "rich enough" they sent their kid into daycare to give mommy "some time away from the kids" (I hated this reason and not to be sexist but I never had a situation where Daddy needed a break from the kids so that should say something about today's mothers) and in most cases, high stress/performance positions, so I bet even at home these kids were not getting the care they needed (could probably explains the lack of sleep).
I should note I am a Male.
This experience has really put things in perspective; I would NEVER send my kids to Daycare unless there was no other choice.
I plan to live close to my parents so I can at least get my kids to spend time with their grandparents when Mom and Dad are at work, or Make enough compromises for the first few (5-10) years so that Mom could be at home 24/7 to take care of the kids.
A child needs their mother/father, not a stranger.
I wouldnt even rely on Nannies, Live-in Nannies. A Parent is so important to a child, we are too casual with child development these days.
These early years are what will define the mental state and capabilities of your child, why as a Parent are you leaving that important aspect of their growth and life, up to someone else.
I saw this working in a daycare as well. Parents expected their child’s needs to be met to their exact specifications exactly every time. I so badly wanted to bring those parents into the room and show them that in a 4-5 year old class we had twelve kids per one adult so 24 in a classroom. That one child needed extra hugs or a little more attention was not physically possible, especially as special needs kids were put into classes with all the other kids with little to no accommodations for their extra needs. Daycares are absolutely no substitute for a loving mother or father.
Lol...I only work part-time and my husband watches them on the evenings I work..Husbands don't need a break because they put forth minimal effort. They are the playmates. You know what my husband fed our kids for supper last night? Tater tots and bananas. That's it. No bath. Dishes still in sink. The last load of laundry I did still unfolded in dryer. So I had to play catch up all day...and I did need that break bc while juggling 500 household chores that had piled up from the night before...I also had two screaming/fighting toddlers...meanwhile, cooking three healthy, balanced meals they barely ate... but I didn't get that break and when I called my husband to explain my mental breakdown, he said it was because I try to do too much while watching our kids...lol...well if I don't do it, who's gonna?
@@leahwilliams9333Hahaha, yes! Those bananas! My husband makes frozen pizza and pre packaged lasagna 😂
Now a warning: here's some advice that you didn't request.
Teach the kids to help.
My 2yearold LOVES helping to put wash cloths away for instance, and washing the outside of the cupboards and tidying up toys. And my 5yearold likes chopping the veggies for dinner and cleaning the windows and dusting, last two he gets pocket money for doing. One dollar for the downstairs windows, and 50cents for dusting a specified set of surfaces. He also likes folding towels and kitchen cloths, so he makes a good team with his little sister. I can give them a pile of cloths and towels, and they help in stead of fighting.
I also used to stress and juggle. Overdoing and overthinking. But it doesn't have to be like that.
Yes, the veggies are chopped unevenly, slowly and some fall on the floor. Some times the washcloths end up having to be restacked. But then the kids get better at helping. Because they get to join in and practice. And they love it.
Tater tots and bananas have carbs, fat, protein and vitamins. Offer some berries and sandwiches throughout the day, and you know they get vital nutrients.
Often it's better to keep it simple and go easier on yourself. Do the elaborate meals when you have more time on your hands.
Ask your husband, nicely, if you need a chore to be done and you're feeling overwhelmed (hey honey, do you think you have some time to help fold the laundry today? Thanks. That's such a load off my shoulders!). Don't take the help for granted. Just like you won't appreciate your own contributions being taken for granted, they don't appreciate it either.
Husbands love helping out too, and they love feeling useful, just like the kids do.
They however do not like being guilted or nagged into stuff. Noone does. But we women are experts at phrasing things in a complaining way 🙈
Dads don't 'need a break' because their break from the kids is their job. Even when at home, the mums are often more involved in childcare, so they often get breaks at home as well.
One more thing, the whole 'mum needs a break' is often misunderstood. SAHM mums who get a break when their kids are in daycare don't usually sit around and watch TV all day, but rather do things they can't do when they have the kids with them, such as: go to the doctor, do anything on the computer, catch up on sleep, shave their legs lol etc.
Jjhhhbhjhgjgjjjh
My son slept 18 hours at 17 weeks. He always slept more than the recommended times for his age and is a great eater. I know if i had put him in daycare none of those things would be true. I read books, scheduled his sleep and activity, and worked on meal plans that are nutritious that everyone likes. It is more work than it looks, and a stranger wouldn't care enough to do these things. I'm having another soon and I'm excited to have the knowledge i have now to implement what I've learned. If it were easy i don't think people would be so resistant to stay home, but the kids are worth it.
It is literally damaging their brains and development (and attachment) sending them to daycare yet people continue this madness.
No...most of us grew up leading normal lives, getting an education and working normal jobs
@@belzeebubbubbachunkssuicide and depression are the highest levels they have ever been in children…and rising.
@@virginiamorris92anxiety has also increased dramatically. I’ve never seen so many people with anxiety
And the public school system. We have got to stop the madness of sending our kids to government run institutions
@@OceanMomma13 the teachers from private schools went to the same schools/universities that teachers from public schools went to...
After coming home from the NICU, I tried keeping that schedule but hated it.
Eventually I just went by the baby's cues only. If he acted hungry, he was fed. If he seemed sleepy or took a longer than normal nap, I let him. None of that "wake him up to feed him if he isn't awake after 3 hours" nonsense they told me at the hospital. I tried it for a week after the hospital and it just didn't work for the baby. Now he is almost 9 months old and has slept through the night since 3 months. He takes a late morning nap, afternoon nap, and bizarrely a 7 pm nap, then sleeps from about 930 to 5 a.m.
That's generally how his schedule lined out by his natural cues and my responding to them. He smiles a lot and eats great. He appears to be a happy and healthy boy. I'm glad I was able to quit my teaching job until he's old enough to attend school. I'll get a job then. For now, we can tighten our belts and live modestly. The baby is happier for it
Fantastic. Most babies do NOT sleep like adults. You did the right thing.
I do the same with my two month old. When she looks sleepy she naps, when she’s hungry I feed her. Had a great week so far she’s slept ~9pm - 4-5am
I homeschooled and kept all my children at home. I raised 4 children. They all had different feeding and napping routines. Listening to their cues is very important.
Keep up the good work! ❤
I also ditched the rigid schedules. My littles let me know their rhythms which changes frequently as they grew. But because I was home with them, I was able to recognize the signals and roll with it. Things weren’t always easy but much smoother than trying to adhere to a forced, unnatural routine.
I wish more people knew and explained this like you. It's wild how normalized newborn and infant daycare is now. We have got to fix long paid parental leave policies, and help families stay home with their kids as long as possible.
It's much more than a "fix parental leave" issue. The real problem is that the mindset that children cannot be at work with their parents comes from the factory setting, where the workers are meant to be another cog in the factory machinery, and children would distract them and reduce productivity maximization. We have carried that attitude into every aspect of our conception of what it means to work, to the point where we make absurd rationalizations to ourselves about why it is not appropriate for children to be present in offices.
We need to return to a cultural attitude that mothers will have their children with them during the day as she does her work. There is no reason that a mother can't have her baby by her desk at an office. Indeed, there are very few jobs where it is truly too dangerous and distracting for a child to be present. People need to accept that children exist in the world, and that they don't need to be cloistered away where no one can see them.
It would also benefit children to grow up seeing what work actually is. I work in a public high school, and it's soul-crushing to see the number of kids for whom the entire concept of what work and jobs are is entirely abstract and unknown. Most kids, when you ask what their parents do, will either say they don't know, or have some vague notion. It's no surprise that kids today grow up without any direction or goals in life - they never see what adults do all day!
This is horrifying. Nobody puts their baby in daycare in my country before shortly before 2 years old. Daycare sounds like Farm factories for humans.
A few years ago, my daughter worked at the most expensive daycare in town, for the summer. I was shocked and saddened by some of the things she told me. Some of the parents left their babies there, from open til close - 6am to 6pm - not because they had to, but because they didn’t want to fool with their babies (didn’t have any outside employment). I was so blessed that I got to stay home with my babies, and I don’t regret a moment of those amazing years- wish I could go back and live them all over again!
👶🏻 🥰 👶🏻
I follow a book about baby sleep and there is a support group on Facebook. There are mums on there saying at home their baby sleeps so well and at daycare they don't sleep, come home so cranky etc.... it makes me so sad. Now it makes heaps of sense..... 😞😞
I gave up my career as a veterinary anaesthetist to be a SAHM and I am more than happy. Hubby and I live on his income now and budget strictly because being home with my babies is way too important to me...
Even as a WFH SAHM, the pressure to put my kiddo in daycare is crazy from other moms. It is by no means easy, esp as a solo parent, but i wouldn't trade it for the world. It is such a blessing watching her grow up.
I've experienced this. A coworker of mine said "When you put him in daycare, he's going to get sick often. Just know that it is normal. The daycare process can be hard. Give me a call any time you need to vent about it." Keep in mind that I never mentioned that I would put him in daycare. She just assumed I would. I also had a friend who works from home tell me about how it was a great idea and I'd get so much more done at home and her son loves it. I just don't get why I would send him to daycare when I'm home.
Stick to what you know is right for your children.
I've worked in a daycare, they are terribly noisy. The one I worked at would blast the lullaby music so loud, that I, as an adult, was in sensory overload. Please, please stay at home, if you can, at least for the first 3-4 years. If not, watch EVERYTHING very closely. Some of these daycare employees shouldn't even be near kids, I've seen employees act terrible around these kids.
I just heard a news report on daycares that were caught giving children adult benedryl to get them to sleep. A 2 month old girl actually died from an overdose. My mom stayed home to raise 7 kids and I stayed home to raise (and homeschool) my 5 children. Yes, financially it was a struggle and we had to do without a lot of extras, but it was 100% worth it!
Holy $%^&! *Adults* should not be taking adult Benadryl to sleep. First off, it isn't a sleep aid! It also does nasty things to an adult's system, including leading to a poor night's sleep (because it prevents you from getting to REM).
Wow! You are my role model in life! I just started homeschooling my daughter this year and I get very inspired and encouraged by strong moms like you! 😊
Thank you for your dedication to this topic. I know it isn't easy to go against the grain of cultural norms. You are doing good work for our little ones!
I wish I had seen your videos when I had my first child. We had to put him in daycare when he was 21 months because I was the only parent working (my husband was finishing school and working). And just the other day, he told me how much he didn’t like sleeping on the uncomfortable “beds” with his shoes on. I was shocked he remembered that and was finally able to tell me about it (he’s 6 now. )
I watched a young dad coaxing his toddler (he had a pacifer) with his backpack on, to get in the car. He kept saying "Come on! It's time for school." the toddler didn't want to go. I thought, "When did we normalize 2 year olds going to 'SCHOOL'??"
That’s what I want to know too! Preschool used to be for 4 year olds, but now out of nowhere every one is asking me about my 20 month old “which school are you going to send her to when she’s 2?? Better get on a waitlist!!” And look at you like you’re in a cult if you say you’re going to take care of your child at home for a few more years.
My babies have always slept best being held close to my heart. I refuse to go to work, my job is being a mother and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My heart breaks for these babies in daycare.
Yup my friend took her baby to daycare from 8-530 at 12 weeks old. That baby was sick all the time, bladder infections, and was delayed developmentally. That baby also had a way less secure attachment style.
Thank God she woke up and moved to a more affordable place for her 2nd child. There is a stark contrast between the 2 kids sadly.
You can really see it. I pray for first borns.
This is so true. I worked in a daycare center and those poor babies would never be able to sleep. A six week old came in the day he turned six weeks old. It was so sad. If felt like I was “baby farming”
Yep I was active duty my baby girl started daycare at 6 weeks, she supposedly took “10 min naps” but I knew she wasnt sleeping. She fell asleep in my arms as soon as I picked her up off the daycare floor mat & slept mostly until the next morning when I dropped her off. I cried a lot at work until three months later I found someone at work who’s wife was willing to watch my baby instead of a daycare. Thank God.
I've always been very careful about my children's sleep schedules, to the point where I've felt like I was being over-the-top and even chained to my routine at times. This is encouraging to know that putting their sleep needs as a top priority is the best thing for everyone involved. The thought of "daycare sleep" makes me feel stressed out just thinking about it, thinking about those cranky babies and the battle at bedtime.
I nanny part time for a 21 mos old who goes to daycare from 9-3. She's always chronically tired, and it's hard to see that.
The worst is when I see a 6 wk old in daycare.
.
Suzanne, I knew WW II generation women, and you are among their numbers. They were very, very intelligent, goal-oriented, focused, and sharp. And so are you. What a refreshing change from unfortunately so many women now.
She's not THAT old.
Because modern women were raised by daycare/negligent/selfish mothers.
Suzanne you have grit and I love it. I just came across your channel. As a mother of four and none ever in daycare, I could not agree with you more. Keep at er...and don't be afraid to speak the truth. Not yet a grandmother.
While studying and training for my early childhood development degree, we learned about what babies and toddlers need...and the we went on to work in childcares where we could not provide those things! It was bananas! The degree was still good for one thing for me, though. It gave me the knowledge and confidence I needed to decide to stay home with my babies when I became a mother. Best decision I've ever made. It's interesting, though. I thought that they'd need me much less by the time they reached kindergarten and beyond. They are now 14, 12 and 8. They really STILL need a dedicated parent guiding them with proper home cooked meals, to decompress about school, to ensure sleep is a priority and to monitor/limit online activity...much less just a stay-at-home-parent to drive them to and and fro from friends houses and activities. I am STILL a stay at home mom and find myself very busy managing the household during the day so that I am free to parent peacefully throughout the afteroon and evening. Being a mom is a job I take very seriously!
I babysit all of my grandchildren for free while their parents work. I’m currently taking care of a 3yr old boy, a 17 month old boy and a 6 month old girl. The boys are my daughter’s children and the girl is my son’s child. The boys take one nap a day and I feed them breakfast and lunch and snacks. The baby girl takes 2 naps a day and her mom pumps breast milk for her and it’s supplemented with formula. She is also starting to eat cereal, fruits and vegetables now. The three year old knows all of his letters and their sounds and numbers and can count. I do crafts a couple times a week with him and we do “preschool” work everyday. The 17 month old also knows several letters and numbers.
My husband and I basically remodeled the whole 1st floor of our house to be a daycare center for our grandchildren. I love them all so much and although it makes for very busy and often exhausting days, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I love the fact that my kids and work and know their children are being loved and taken care of and we also know what they are being taught and exposed to.
Bless your heart ♥️
Five years ago my granddaughter was a 10 week old in daycare. It would break my heart to see her at naptime on her back, trapped in a swaddle staring up at the flourecent light at full brighness. My daughter quit work shortly after and they have made it work.
If it broke your heart why didn't you offer to watch your grandchild? We need to address this as a society. The baby boomer generation has largely stepped out of the picture when it comes to their grandkids, leaving the younger generations to struggle alone. I'm not saying this is you, but if it bothers you and you're close enough to be witnessing it, then help them. It will bless them financially and give your grandchild a grandparent relationship. We are not meant to be separated as a family unit.
@@nailslacquer i lived out of state by 3 hours. They/we fixed the daycare situation as quickly as we could and they are a homeschooled family with a stay at home mom now.
I work full shifts on weekends to be of help to them during the week.
@@nailslacquerthat generation really, really has stepped out.
It is ultimately worth it, but it has been so difficult to struggle alone in parenthood.
When I was young, my mom told me "I will not be the babysitting grandmother. if you have a baby, you are on your own," and that I would not bring a baby into her home. I was starting to date at that time and I think she was afraid of me getting pregnant out of wedlock.
@@janiewerner We're homeschoolers too! Beautiful. Again I wasn't jumping on you, just using your story to make a point. I hope you understand. I love how you ans your family worked together for the good of the children as it's supposed to be.
Im a single parent raising two kids on my own full time, one is a new born. I had my almost 3 year old daughter going to daycare(it was recommended by my social worker),and it broke my heart hearing that she was crying during nap time for me and sometimes didn’t want to take her nap. Inside I didn’t feel right about it. So now I send her to apart time day care where she’s only there for 2:45hrs and we have time in the morning together, and I take her home for lunch and nap time with me it’s perfect. It’s a different daycare, which is more community based and she loves it, and I feel so much better about that because I get a little rest and she gets to play with other kids but I don’t feel like I’m abandoning my kid to the system. God has helped me with this.
I left my 9 month old in the church nursery for the very first time the other day. She has never left my side. I picked her up after 2 hours and the relief on her sweet little face broke my heart. I can’t even fathom leaving her with strangers for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week!
I also recently left my 5 month old in church nursery and am feeling very torn about it. Are you going to continue to put your baby in church nursery? I am struggling to balance my need to worship with my baby’s need for me.
@@elinorcoats8382 Not sure about your church, but I was put in the nursery once. They put me in there alone with a dozen 18mo to 3 yo kids, and I wasn't even a mom! I would definitely skip putting young children -- especially infants -- in a church nursery. Besides the obvious, it's just unnecessary.
@@elinorcoats8382Church nurseries is a big problem in modern Protestant churches. We are letting our churches look exactly like the world around us. Jesus told people to bring young children to him, but when we go to church we leave our little children in a nursery that is exactly like daycare. 🤦🏼♀️
I wish Protestant churches would look at Catholic Churches where children aren’t seen as a problem/distraction. Children of all ages take part in Mass and everyone understands that young children will cry at times. It’s sad how we look much more like the world than like Jesus in modern churches today.
I’m Protestant but I never put my baby in the church nursery. My daughter is 4 today and I still think it’s important that we sit together as a family and worship God together. Going to Church is supposed to be about us worshipping God, not about us getting to be comfortable/entertained in a quiet child free environment.
It’s not about our comfort, it’s about God, and God gave us our children for a reason.
There's a good little book called "Parenting in the Pew" that you might find helpful!
The mother of a newborn should not let the newborn out of a 10 second radius, unless an extremely responsible and experienced and trustworthy relative can do so at home.
I left my 6 week old at home with my husband for only 20 mins this week to run a very quick errand and I felt anxious the whole time. I don’t know how anyone could leave a newborn! I think it’s sad when I see working moms justify putting their babies in daycare by saying they only need them when they’re older or “it’s a great daycare”, etc.. Obviously they feel guilty about it for a reason or they wouldn’t feel obligated to justify it.
💯💯💯
Thank you, so so very much for what you do. My husband and I have sacrificed a LOT to be able to raise our soon to be 6 children on a single income and homeschool. The truth is that many people aren't willing to sacrifice luxury for their kids' well-being, or get it into their heads that their kids' well-being is dependent upon luxury, and name brand clothing, and elaborate vacations, and expensive private schools. It does not. I have worked in daycare. Those children in that system are broken, lonely little people who wait 8+ hours each day to see their parents pick them up, many times worn out, short-tempered, and frustrated at the child's "neediness." That wasn't how I wanted my children to grow up, so I quit working, learned old-school ways of being frugal, downsized in house, traded vehicles, gave up a smart phone, (😮), learned to cook from scratch, grow a garden, raise livestock, and started side hustles so that my husband and I could be present for our children in ways even our well-intentioned parents weren't. And it's hard, but not as hard as looking into the eyes of your child day after day, wondering what will happen while you're away- are they being fed well? Are they being loved? Nurtured? Validated? Encouraged? Strengthened? I have been estranged from my sister in law for 3 years now because I asked her to consider these things. She took it as me judging her and looking down on her. I still pray that some day, we can be reconciled, and I pray for my nephews.
i quit my job because i cried all the time when i brought my 3 month old son to daycare. Here in the Netherlands it's normal. Luckly my husband stands with me. Now he is 5 year and i still only work when he is at school.
I worked in a daycare with pre-k kids(4-5 year olds) but when first starting out I was put in infant rooms often. I’m not sure how those poor babies ever slept at all. Where I live regulations state the fluorescent lights are never to be turned off, there were multiple windows that were never to be shaded, 4 infants to one adult so 8 babies in a room meant if your baby was trying to sleep seven other babies were getting changed, eating, playing, babbling, crying, two adults were talking, and other adults were constantly coming and going from the room. I don’t doubt the babies don’t actually get any real sleep. The poor 4-5 year olds were no better being dropped off at 6:30 in the morning and some staying until 6:30 pm. They were all so sleep deprived and I don’t doubt many of the adults who worked there ever knew that the children weren’t supposed to act the way they did. If those adults were themselves in daycare, their kids were in daycare, and they worked in a daycare, they may never know what a well adjusted, well rested child looks like. Daycare is not a good place to send your children. Even the expensive ones that claim your child is getting an “education” (at 3 years old, give me a break) are just places that switch out “teachers” every few weeks and put children with behavioral issues in with all of the other kids. All I was aloud to say about incidents where children purposefully hurt others was to tell the hurt children to let their mommy know who was hurting them. I learned my lesson with my baby. She will never see the inside of a daycare.
"Education" at age 3...yes...look into what many homeschoolers think about that very topic.
In Ohio the ratio is 1 teacher to 5 infants. 2 teachers can have 12 infants. There were 2 of us and 12 infants. If all babies were 12 to 18 mos you could have 6 little ones by yourself. I was in infant for 3 yrs. Now at home watching grand kids.
Grandparents can help play a role in young mothers lives. My mom was there for most of her grandchildren to help and advise her children on best practices to raise them. She also helped to care for some of them in their first years when needed. Her help and knowledge was extremely valuable and have helped to raise children with far fewer problems as they became young adults.
Neither my parents nor in-laws want to help with grandchildren. They might stop by for dinner at our home if we cook but they won't even put on Sunday dinner like my grandmother would. These are the same parents who put us, my husband and myself, in daycare at 6 weeks old. Parents in the 80's sucked. I so wish things were the way you describe. Oh well.
I live is a different country to mine! Plus they are older and have health problems.
I recently came across your channel and all I keep thinking is that you are modeling the Titus 2 model for mature women discipling younger women.
The women at my church are going through Adorned by Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth. It emphasizes how critical it is for women who are more mature in faith and practice to pour into the lives of the generation coming after them. Training women to love their husbands, children, and make a home for the family, and to keep the faith without hypocrisy.
Thank you for being another brave voice to xome alongside women in need and be the voice of reason in a culture that has much to say without saying much with substance.
I dont like having to go to work. I have no choice. I love my son. Hes 14months. Sleeps just fine at daycare, yes, he sleeps at day care. He sleeps all night. I keep him on his 2 nap per day schedule on the weeknds, just as if he were at daycare. Since hes used to noise while sleeping, he sleeps through anything. Hes a good happy boy. I hate bringing him to daycare, but i do what i have to do. Theres some women on here saying that if you cant stay home with your baby, dont have one. That is a very cruel thing to say. Shame on a lot of the women on this comment section. God bless ANY woman that wants to be a mom. Being a mom has been the GREATEST blessing in my life
This woman is a crackpot to be honest with you. I think she’s got some sort of vendetta or weird issue from her childhood because half of the shit she talks about isn’t even true. I worked in childcare facilities, many over the years, and I have never had a child who had trouble sleeping, unless they had some sort of developmental delay like autism. There was a couple issues here and there, but it was so rare that I can remember those kids who have those issues with sleep and I can count them on one hand. She’s full of shit to be honest with you and while yes there are times of low quality childcare’s out there. I really think it’s very state dependent, because some states are honestly doing a terrible job at regulating the industry and helping providers become better providers.
critical topic. I shared this with a grandmother colleague who is doing some babysitting because her grandson was "kicked out" of daycare for being "too needy".
This breaks my heart 😢 the fact that American society doesn’t value mothers and children is an atrocity. How do we think it’s ok that a mother [most likely] has to send her 17-week-old baby to daycare?-no one would choose this (or it’s similar to what you mentioned, so many young mothers have been brainwashed to think that this is ok and normal.)
Totally!
We've definitely been brainwashed.
My sister will be sending her 12 week old baby to daycare 😢 she's completely brainwashed into thinking that's normal
@@kyla593 when I made the decision to stay home with my baby, I was told by a family member, "You don't give up your dream for a man. " I weighed counted the cost and thought it would be best to be home with my baby. I'm still a stay at home mom and pregnant with baby number 4. My husband and I make it work.
@@kalonmontgomery8213 well what if your “dream” is to stay home and be with your kids? Lol I’ve had similar reactions when I’ve told women that my goal is to start stepping down as a business owner, let my husband run it (he’s a way better leader anyway) so I can be home. It’s hard but I would much rather be with my baby all day and watch her grow❤️ Some women react like I’m giving up my whole life but my true desire is to be home.
You have to know how incredibly valuable your work is. I had my first child at 38, after years of struggling to conceive and carry a child to full term. I have come to believe that a large part of the struggle was due to my long time use of bc pills and multiple sex partners. I bought into the "feminist" lies. I was thankfully blessed with 2 boys. I suffered postpartum anxiety with both. And it has been very tough at times. They are 4 and 7 now. But I ALWAYS think to myself, "how the heck do single, full time working moms do it!?" I nearly lost my mind during the sleep training years. I cannot imagine how these women do it. It's obviously a testament to the strength and sense of duty of women. But, we aren't meant to do it all. Atleast, not at one time. I hope you get through to this generation. Alot of us don't have wise and experienced women to guide us, for one reason or another. Bless you. 🙏
I can't imagine how single moms do it either. The elephant in the room is, you're not supposed to be a single mom. I know it's not politically correct to say that but it's true. Parenting is a two person job. Being a good single mom is impossible.
Losing sleep is MUCH harder in your late 30s as compared with early to mid 20s. Everything is so much more physically draining.
@@JK-gi3ew agree.
@@ddchomeschool indeed, it is.
As a young woman who does not have children yet, I really appreciate the wisdom you share. Please keep sharing!!
I worked in daycare from 15-21 and worked in the infant room annnnddd, it was super horrifying. If the babies slept they would sleep while eating, the teachers,,, not me,,,,, would do things to keep them awake, it was the saddest
So they kept them awake on purpose? Why?
@@GegeP1804 so they can fall asleep for 1.5 hrs during “nap” time
As a nanny and infant care specialist, this breaks my heart. Just for that reason alone, no child 18 mos or younger should ever be placed in daycare. They will NEVER get quality sleep at a daycare. There is no excuse/reason for a child not getting quality sleep.
So don’t have children unless you can stay home or hire a at home nanny? It’s privacy why ppl are having less and less children. No one WANTS to put their kids in daycare and you can tell she’s is concerned and is looking to help her baby.
Thank u so much for speaking the truth. I am fed up with so much lies directly from daycare moms. Their so-called first hand experiences are twisted by their brainwashed mindset. I am temped frequently to doubt if staying at home to take care of my toddler exhausted all the time is not the right choice while 99% of families are choosing daycare. Thank you for re-assuring me the truth and it sets me free.
Same here staying at home and it’s definitely challenging and exhausting but worth it
Pay now or pay later. You are absolutely doing the right thing. Mom of four.
Hang in there. What’s funny is that I was so exhausted all the time when I only had 1 child, and now with 3 kiddos, including a newborn, I find it is a lot easier than it was with only 1.
@@estherruth4692 yeah I have one, a 3yo. I feel like the learning curve is extremely steep especially since I’m going against the grain in my family.
You are so right, nobody wants to say it because it says a lot of modern parenting but sure, it has to be said
Having 17 week old babies in daycre is soo dystopian!!
Sleep recharges and resets our brains.. it is needed.
Your words are so true and so incredibly necessary, Suzanne!
Routine to sleep starts at 4 months as necessary food and exercise. Estimates infants need 16 hours of sleep=2 naps per day.
1 year olds 14 hours of sleep =1 nap ages
2/4 13 hour =1 nap
5/11 11 hours
teens 12/18 9 hours Thank you so much for this❤❤❤❤
I homeschool our 6 kids, and the teens also need extra sleep because their bodies are going through SO many changes. My 13&16yos sleep till 10am every morning. My 11yo sleeps till 9. The 15yo gets up at 7 (his choice, he likes the quiet mornings, and he goes to bed earlier). The 6&7yos go to bed at 830 and wake naturally at 730.
My mom did daycare from her home. So it was a home setting. But the babies and toddlers slept no problem. She was very regimented and they were all on a schedule and had no problem sleeping. Probably because they all were quiet at the same time and so nobody was keeping them awake. They also didn’t spend all day in front of the TV. They had a lot of planned activities all day and always moved into a new activity probably hourly art, play, outside, etc.
God mother Venker is speaking facts
I am a 65 year old woman who has been in childcare in some form since 1978. Let me be clear. I work in the infant room with several other women because we are well staffed. Many days we are 1 on 1. We all care very much about the babies sleep. We have a routine of 2 sometimes 3 naps a day. If they can't fall asleep they are rocked til they do and then put to bed. They have playtime where they are taught to grasp small toys, help with rolling over, sitting up and building arm strength to crawl when it is appropriate for their age. They are loved on, sung to, cuddled and spoken to to help develope language skills. We know their parents and communicate every aspect of their day through an app the parents download. Sleep checks are every 10 minutes and have to be charted along with feeding and changing. The problem is not daycare as it is necessary for most families. The problem is finding a good one. Many times the workers are over worked and underpaid and just give up. That was not an option for me as this is my calling. I was hurt by your comment that daycare workers don't care if your baby doesn't sleep. It's been my experience that most very much do.
Your experience is nowhere near the norm. I’m glad a daycare like yours exists somewhere but that is not how 99% operate. It is wonderful you care about the baby you have under your care but for most it is, unfortunately, just a job that pays too little and doesn’t care for the children or the staff. You should try working in another daycare at some point to get a grasp of the reality of most other places.
My granddaughter loves her daycare.
It’s good that you love and care for the kids you work with, but daycare is still the problem. You can not possibly meet the needs of these babies because you are not the mother. If you read up on early childhood development and attachment you will see some scary statistics on what daycare does to children under three years of age.
Erica Komisar’s book “Being There” is one book that covers the first three years of life. I recommend you learn the science on this topic so you know what you are talking about. Babies raised by daycare staff will develop depression, anxiety disorders and aggression problems among other psychological issues later in life if they spend their first three years in full time daycare.
Peer orientation and attachment loss are other common problems that kids raised in daycare will develop.
You sound like a very nice lady and I bet you do the best job you can but daycare is still the problem. Children under the age of three are built to spend their days with their parents (or another close family member as a second best option).
@@thefuturista7836 I am aware of the need for babies to bond with their mother. My son did not go to daycare. I was home with him until he went to kindergarten. My point was that daycare is necessary in this world. It just is and if you need it there are some really good ones that will take the best care they can but not every family has both parents as we did and a father willing to work 2 jobs as my husband was. Those of us who have devoted our lives to caring for other people's children do many times care how well they do and whether they develop and sleep.
Why on earth would you even have a baby if you're not even going to see them more than an hour a day? That's awful.
I’m surprised she didn’t call it “school”. The young moms I know call it school so it sounds better. At least I assume that is why they do it. 🙄
I work daycare for now but am looking at other jobs. When I sub in the infant room, very few babies get adequate naps because someone is always screaming. Yes, screaming. Their needs can't be met adequately.
Suzanne I looooooove your boldness and podcasts that answer these questions. So much of what you say in your wisdom is in the Bible such as women being keepers at home and older women teaching the younger women to love their husbands and love their children which in my interpretation is actually being WITH THEM AND CARE FOR THEM. Thank you so much for your common sense wisdom and encouragement. Being a mother and being home with them and raising them is one of God’s blessings!! Keep teaching the truth and triggering those feminists!! 💥
With my oldest child he would stay with his grandparents while I worked part-time. When went into PreK I started working full-time. When he turned 7 I had his little sister. The grandparents were too old to help out so she went to daycare for 3 months. I pulled her out as soon as I could i now work part-time and am on an opposite schedule from my husband so someone is always home with the kids. It was the best decision we ever made as a family.
I would think and hope that they would know this crucial baby rearing info and be getting it from their own mothers (or, in lieu of a mom, an aunt, grandma, sister, etc). We're supposed to be passing down our vital knowledge to our children, grandchildren, younger siblings, friends, neighbors, whoever needs it. That's why it takes a village. And of course a daycare isn't going to cater to your baby's schedule and personal needs, they're catering to their own. No one takes care of a baby like a mother does. Next best thing would be a good caring father, grandma, aunt, or sibling.
In the preschool classrooms at my centre we have almost the opposite problem. We have so many parents asking us to limit their nap time anywhere from no sleep at all to 1 hr. The problem is, it's the kids who need the sleep the most and who refuse to wake up.
I guess we're lucky that most of the toddlers and preschoolers do nap, but it's definitely not like a nap they'd have in their own beds at home.
My brother and I grew up in daycare and with babysitters since we were babies. Even though there was no abuse in either the daycares or with the babysitters or at home we both have attachment, abandonment and social anxiety issues since we were children. I am childless and never been married. He’s been on Prozac for many years and his marriage is very rocky. I implore all mothers with their kids in daycare to figure out how to stay at home with your babies and remove them ASAP unless you want them to be a neurotic mess for the better part of their life.
I was never in daycare, but still deal with all those issues. It more than a mom being present. Neglect can happen when you have a sahm too.
Amen. Thank goodness for your courage ❤
Well...I stayed home with all my kids, but child number 1 was a terrible napper pretty much from the get-go. Best I could get was maybe 10 minutes in the swing, and as soon as it stopped, he woke up. I held him a lot, even got told I held him too much by older moms, but when he was really little that's all I could do. He didn't even like breast feeding. But he did sleep through the night early. He's not speaking to me now. He was stubborn and challenging as a baby, now he's stubborn as an adult (and maybe I did screw him up but I did the best I could.)
Thank you for your channel. My husband and I don't have a good family to ask these questions. Having definitive help like this is awesome. I'm a SAHM, but these videos are proving to be what I need. May God bless all of the good work you do.
Our country needs to support new moms so they can be home the whole first year with babies
I agree so much... I went back to work right at 4 weeks postpartum after both of my babies. I've never been able to stay home with them. It breaks my soul into pieces
Or future moms could save money in advance to be able to afford it. Saving and budgeting are not rocket science
It baffles me that so many Mothers and Grandmothers think is so let’s say aloof to the reality of their own responsibility. Praying for these little ones. Thank you ☺️
Always had my kids in bed between 7 and 7:30. It worked wonders for their dispositions. They were never cranky or fussy.
Same 🙂
Yes! Lots of sleep is so necessary!! Happy children gets lots of sleep!
I want to do that. It seems impossible to put him down that early :/. Even though I'm home with him all day, he basically just goes to sleep when we do. But I really want that to change so that he can get to sleep that he needs and me and my husband can spend some time alone together for a change. He's only 19 months. Not sure what his sleep schedule is even supposed to look like 😔
@@samanthamarie6012same. He gets enough sleep. But instead of 7-7 he sleeps 10-9 plus 3hr nap. Idk how to fix his schedule. But its nice to sleep in sometimes!
@@evelynda5235I find you usually have to break the thing that works to fix what doesn’t. The length or placement of that 3 hour nap is probably why he won’t go to bed until 10pm. Cut that nap shorter and you’ll consolidate that missed time into an earlier bedtime.
I love and appreciate you as a teacher to us parents out here. Thank you for doing the work and keeping us informed with truth and not lies.
Thank you, everything you mentioned is 100% correct, the best thing a mother can ever do for her children is stay at home with them(when possible depending on family circumstances), nurture and care for them as we should, God gave us this role as mothers and its not only our responsibility but duty to care for the precious gifts we were entrusted with and love them unconditionally, I'm a true believer that as men and women, husband's and wives, if we would fulfill the roles assigned to us our lives and our children's lives would be much more happier and healthier.
I was bringing in the bigger income with a chaotic schedule, and starting a new job when my son was 3 months old. My husband travels for his occupation too, so we decided to hire a nanny. The nanny was spending more time with my son than my husband and I. This was eating away at me mentally for a chronic period of time but I felt a greater responsibility to my career/job (because of years of conditioning myself). When the nanny quit my son had just turned 2, I panicked and placed my son in a daycare. He would scream and cry before going to daycare every morning for months! It affected my job performance and my mental health. Then one day he developed HMF disease and passed it to my husband and I. My job gave me such a hard time to take the time off necessary to care for my family and I. That was the nail in the coffin for my job. I realized at that point I or my husband needed to make a sacrifice-one of us quit to care for our son full time or move closer to family so that we could get the support we needed. I ended up quitting and have no regrets!!
I work in a daycare and we really try our best but I feel as ratios are off and most kids or babies especially, never get the one on one time that they deserve. 😢 I never put my babies in daycare and I’m glad that I didn’t
It also depends on what the kid. 1st kid slept like a dream. 2nd kid thought sleeping was torture and fought it as much as possible. Sahm here.
I work with Autistic children as an ABA therapist. And the fact that insurances don’t allow for naps of more than 15 minutes is heart breaking. I encourage napping with the children. I will risk getting fired to ensure their mental wellbeing.
My 2 year old skipped a nap yesterday.. ugh she was such a mess. Completely out of her routine tho. She is 100% right about routines and naps! They are so important.