I really appreciate this video. I've been pressured by my mother-in-law to start looking into preschools for my two-year-old. My household my brother and I never went to preschool. In their household they've been in daycare since 6 months of age. And she keeps getting on to me about how it would help her learning development.
Keep up your momma intuition! Stand strong and do what is best for your kids--And being with you is best. You should look her in the eye and tell her straight forward in a kind way--“I am not sending my small children to be cared for all day by others. Don’t bring up the subject again.” Sometimes you have to let them know in no uncertain terms your position. And if you choose to homeschool, that’s fine too. Your children can have plenty of social interaction with lots of activities with other children-sports teams, choir and drama clubs, 4H, scouting groups, church youth groups, play dates, etc.
I used to work for a daycare, and it taught me one thing…when I have kids do anything to keep your kids out of daycare. This is 1000% accurate. I even worked for the best rated daycare out there. If parents even knew what happened when parents weren’t around they’d do anything to stay home with their kids. There wasn’t anything what you would call abusive, but when you put somebody in a room in charge of 6 infants, some babies are literally put in a swing or pack and play the entire day, or the playroom with little adult interaction other than diaper and feeding time. And when they get older that ratio even grows more, and the bad kids get all the attention and the good kids are completely ignored.
I work day care. I love the kids but there is NOTHING normal about thinking it's okay to let infants cry for long periods because you have to pick which child's needs should be met. It's all about meeting state ratios.
@@Laurieohio I’m not sure of your point here. This video is recommending not to put kids in daycare. Context matters. This comment seems way out of it.
I was fired from a daycare because I helped a little boy in braces get back to his feet and carried him to the door because the pain of the braces were at a point here he was crying. The other workers had ignored him for the previous few days as I saw him increase in distress. The owner of the daycare called me into her office and said she couldn’t have anyone that showed “favoritism” on staff, so she let me go. I just saw a little disabled boy in pain that was always last and being constantly ignored - and my heart broke for him. And I was fired for caring. I only worked there 2 weeks - but that plus my own experience being raised in daycare was enough for me to know to keep my own children far away…
I home schooled. I would do it again, but different. I would unschool. I would ignore family and friends who say its bad.. I would still send my kids to school in high school. There was a lot of benefits.. My kids have both said they aren't going to home school, but they are not sending their kids to public school. I think that's interesting..
I’m a SAHM of two girls under the age of 3 years old and I LOVE being at home with them! I don’t regret not working to be with them because they are only this little once ❤
@@Whatuptho1134 A three year old can get plenty of socialization by going to playdates with mom and friends. Watch the video again. Keep your child home as much as possible. But you cannot force your wife to do the right thing. Be loving and patient.
After I separated from my ex I moved back into my parents house. It’s been such a blessing to have my parents watch my toddler while I am at work. He goes to an organized playgroup at our park district once a week for an hour to learn and play. These teacher led groups are super affordable and a great way to introduce little ones to a classroom atmosphere if they are available in your area.
The same thing happened to me. I got hired for a daycare position and only lasted a month because of the neglect and abuse I saw. I couldn't be a part of that. They would lock the autistic child in a closet for the day rather than referring him to a better equipped agency. I saw workers not washing their hands after changing diapers before handling snacks. It was nasty. I knew then and there that my children would never step foot in a daycare if God would help me. I have an almost 2 year old son and I praise the Lord he has provided for us so that either my husband or I are always with him. These years are precious and way too short.
I’m sorry that was happening. I would encourage anyone who sees those kinds of things to report them. So glad you learned something that has benefited you and your Orr ious children - and I appreciate the comment!
If you didn't report that abuse then you are to blame as well for that abuse. If I was that parent I'd have you all in jail. Also I don't know what state you are in but if you witness abuse and don't report it's a felony ...
@@mrs.meowgi4879 I understand your feelings. I am a mom of a child/now adult with autism. My heart broke reading that comment. We need to protect the children of others as well as our own.
I’m a single parent, however I’m very blessed to be living in a basement suite of my parents, and i have been watching my niece and nephew for an income. It has allowed me to stay home with my son while watching family and Instilling similar values. My son who is now in elementary school has told me how glad he was to be at home with me rather than daycare. I realize it’s not the typical circumstances for many people, but I’m very grateful God has provided for us in this manner.
I’m child of a single mom who tried her best! I had to spend most of time in some form of childcare & it did impact me. Hearing this is possible for you & your son makes me SO happy! ❤️
Thank you for bringing me some type of reassurance, seems nobody understands me, but as long as God keeps providing and I’m able to stay home with my baby that’s all that matters ❣️
Thank you for posting this video and explaining in detail the reasons. I was raised by a revolving door of strangers at daycare. I was abused and so was my sibling. I’m now a mom myself and I cannot even imagine putting my child in daycare. My mom didn’t pay much attention to us and put work as her number 1 priority. To this day, my mom doesn’t regret it and still says she needed to work bc my dad or any man could up and leave her one day. I shake my head and think why the heck marry at all if you’re so afraid your husband will leave you?! Also, a woman doesn’t need to work full time from their 20s to 60s in order to protect themselves financially. She needs an education and/or skill.
As a former childcare provider who worked in daycare centers I totally agree with you. Lots of the teachers did show favoritism to other kids. I was very blessed quite a few years ago to be a nanny for my niece. Since I worked in daycare settings I did not want my niece to go through that
If I could pay the bills as a single mom from home I definitely would! I totally agree with her on this and believe being a stay at home mom is a important job.
Thanks for not getting defensive about needing to be employed while being supportive of the ideal here. I wish more employed parents could embrace reality and the ideal at the same time like you. It’s a high level of functioning you are showing. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
I’ve always said this about daycare- didn’t place my own in daycare and definitely helped care for my grandchildren to keep them out of day care - this is an excellent informative video
Just started sending my child to daycare 2 days last week and I was hoping she would enjoy it, but I am finding out I was a bit naive in my expectations. She was upset when we left and upset when we picked her up. She was also not eating very much. I'm now trying to rethink how we approach daycare and see if we can't limit the time she spends there and get the grandparents involved once a week. Appreciate the advice from someone who is familiar with the job and environment of a daycare centre. Keep up the good work.
amen. great encouragement. ever since my husband and I were married and got pregnant, I've been a homemaker. for 4 years we've been able to do this; buy a house, feed and clothe our children 4, 2 and 1 due in January. have vehicles.. have fun, and live our lives - for whatever reason it's so hard for others to see or believe this. IF I worked, I would be going to work TO afford to send them to school/daycare full time. It is hard, no one said it was easy, but better than the alternative for sure.
Absolutely. My husband provided too and I worked sometimes from home as long as it didn’t interfere with keeping home and raising kids. Did home parties, customer service calls,etc. most of the time we just lived completely on his salary. It was completely worth it!
Yes, I work at a center and I can’t tell you how many times the children come to me crying for his/her mom or dad. So sad! Parents, pray that God makes a way for you to care for your own child(ren)
I work with autistic kids in a facility. Or did, until some personal issues popped up. I just came across some state that put the elderly in with the kids. 🥴 Could u imagine? Granted it's prob not the dementia or Alzheimer's kinds but if it was. I bet alotta of em would get into ish. Prob their own, literally & it'd be all over the walls. And the babies would just be like yay 👏🏻. I used to work in assisted facilities. & I used to bring my baby in there. I should've known better. But I thought it would lift their spirits. But then again, they weren't in their right minds & trying to touch all over all in her space... Anyways, I'm not saying I'm some rarity but if there's ppl out there like me, I'd feel way better about my baby being left in daycare. Well, especially a facility. Bc you can always say I need help... if not, it's just way more staff. Also, It's not an excuse to say it's hard when she's here & we have time off. A whole day will mainly just consist of me picking up after her, entertaining her, her following me everywhere, her wanting to get into everything, guessing her cries, keeping her clean, fed, 🥴🙄🥴😇 attempting to teach her wrong from right, what's effective what not. ,, & if it's not that, it's her being gone, me missing her, & worrying like crazy if she's ok, away from me. I'm a legitimate single mom & army of basically 1 (if u want to exclude her addict dad & enabling fam members) that I'm in between I can't support us if I don't work. But I can't go to work if Idk if she's safe & happy. And idk how I look shifting her from daycare to daycare.. But unfortunately, it does seem like alotta ppl don't care. It's just a check Im hoping this is my last 1. 1st 1 was just weird, pointless & acted cheap... 2nd, I said bye before it even really started. 3rd, she slapped my baby & I'll never forget that handprint. & It might be a mommy/female thing.. bc I did tell myself maybe I was being crazy but I'm not. The hands thing was already something but it just sucks being in this vulnerable position. But I knew it was breaking down her spirit &she's aonly 1 yr old She was never this feisty. She got over her raspberry's till she got there. & The in home person acted like they were such a burdensome. Especially mine bc she cried all the time. If she's crying that much, that's prob not all completely her. I wouldn't doubt that she showed favoritism bc she def told me she wasn't picking up my baby. Oh, and the rashs. The FN rashs...😭! My poor babies tender skin. & The way my baby was hesitant to even go to her. & She's picked up this weird habit to lick her fingers & make me lick after them... & She was always hungry coming back. I tried to make up excuses just to calm my own brain. Like she's just 1 & that many babies is alot. But I finally got her into a facility with more staff, more diversity, & even tho it's the hood, I do think (bc it's more staffed & actually monitored..) they interact w/ her more. 😋 & I know w/ staff there's always unnecessary competition.. although it's not always w/ the best intentions, there's at least more adult eyes. & Bc there's more space, my baby can play independently anyways. .. & there's just more kids for her to cross & to interact w/ so she can feel less lonely. & I've noticed less rashs. Surprised 😑😒, neglectful sh.! & They all do the initialing thing diapers & pullups thing. Just minus the time. I knew they'd look after her when they had to state in their intro it may seem like d/p u 's go fast but it's bc we're required to check on em so much .. Something I don't do, the writing, I mean. But I do change em. Besides, ppl can always tattle tell & u can always look at schedules. But picking her up today, only 3 days in, & she had the widest smile. Which I can already say is way better than that less 2 mths in that last daycare. They keep this up maybe I can actually focus on studying to be able to deal w/ these brats over here. Ppl really don't know how hard it is to struggle, & then struggle being a parent. How am I suppose to function if I think my babes spirits r down .. & she can't talk. But I sure as hell can read her changes in behaviors & facial expressions. Cuz like for me, honestly, it's ok to love on my kid! Just know your role. Otherwise, idc to know their personal lives or image or wever pointless thing others may get lost on. U can hate the world for all I care. At least just be good with kids & that's all I need to know At least they're harmless, mostly.
I told my wife I would scrub all the toilets of Yankee Stadium with a toothbrush before I ever let our two boys get dumped in some Day Care Warehouse. NFW. I fixed my old Jalopy. We did local family vacations. We joined Sam's Club and bought in bulk. We did whatever we had to do.
@@mochibi6035 I did exactly that. My wife was home with the boys every single day of their first 12.....13 years. I would join them at the beach, the playground, the bike path, etc. & we'd have a wonderful family lunch. They never saw the inside of a "Day Care". One of my proudest achievements.
I wish every family would decide to spend more time with their children. Praise be to God for your family and all the families out there. May we choose what’s best. May God send helping hand to all families.
Thank you for saying this! This is so smart, especially before potty training and such there is SO much they rely on adults for. Nonverbal children can’t report to their parents. Physical neglect can lead to permanent health issues down the line, especially with holding it too long. Other adults are not as in tune with the nonverbal cues of your child, and they don’t have eyes in the back of their head. It’s usually one caregiver for 4-6 kids, 3-4 diaper changes a day each leaves the other kids unwatched for 15-30 minutes a day. Then snack, then activity changes, the adults are not full time caregivers to each child in that room. The emotional development is sometimes ok, but the times it’s not… these kids go into first grade with baggage and emotional distress. 😢
It was so heartbreaking reading comments of former dc workers :( Im so blessed to be able to stay home with my 8 month old baby girl. I love her so much and I can’t imagine leaving her with anyone else other than her dad and grand parents. Child rearing is hard enough even when it’s your own and you love them so much. I can’t imagine someone who’s taking care of my bub as a their job and my baby is one of the many babies to look after. It’s exhausting and im sure many dc workers are sweet but it requires a lot of patience and motherly love that only parents can give.
I used to volunteer in multiple daycares. Couldn’t agree more. The teacher yelling, favor some, ignoring , hygiene, and many more. I will not send my kids to daycare no matter what or where.
The trauma of infant day care sets most of those kids for the life of failure on so many levels. Our epidemics of drugs and homelessness is just one symptom of that. Also why most seniors end up in nursing homes in inhumane conditions
I am in tears after this video. My parenting has been consistently undermined, the benefits of daycare exhaulted by my parents who I relied on as a single Mum. I am getting married next month, so Im not alone anymore. I was looking at a new daycare for my 3 year old. She is very attached to me and cries if I need to go somewhere without her. Honestly I always believed daycare was good, although I would have preferred to look after my kids at home. I doubt there was abuse as my sister ran the daycare centre and she runs a tight ship she genuinely cares for the children. But you are right that my daughter needs her Mummy more than anyone else. Ive been so brainwashed to believe otherwise. I feel sad but I'm grateful because I won't put her in daycare now with people who I don't know. I am going to enjoy this last year together before she has to start school. I was going back to study but it can wait.
@@melaniejenkins2013 I’m so glad you have decided to stay home! There is a book I want to recommend that I just read to give you more motivation. It’s “How to Build a Better Life” by Suzanne Venker. She is not a Christian but her book is excellent. You’ll love it!
I'm not a mother. I'm not even married. But if I have kids, I don't want them in daycares/childcare when they are under about three, and not for long hours. I'm trying to set my life up in a way that would allow me to stay home.
As a first time single mother I found this comforting. I feel so bad because I work from home and I am constantly getting complaints for the daycare😢 I want to pull her completely from the daycare honestly
Love this. Me and my two brothers were daycare babies from three months old. By the time we were 10, 13 and 16 we all had behavioral issues, one of us a drug addiction, and one of us actually got custody given up by mom. It was a broken family, also ended up with my dad taking to the bottle. I’m not saying daycare started all this, but I am saying a strong family unit is a necessity for mentally healthy, able bodied children. It’s a slippery slope. And is it really worth it for the sake of you earning a meaningless paycheck?
A strong family unit can be achieved even if your kids are in daycare. That's something that needs to be worked on daily no matter what situation. I work in education and I see what you would call traditional families that are broken. We never know what happens behind closed doors...
It’s very difficult today for parents to afford everyday expenses let alone day care. Parents working opposite shifts or having relatives provide child care are the only other options if one parent cannot stay home with the children. Excess consumerism has really messed up our society. My generation ( the 70’s) pushed the agenda of women into careers and the trap of more and better things as well as the government wanting more tax payers on board. I applaud all parents who are able to live within their means, sacrifice having unnecessary things, and prioritizing what truly matters in life. Having the confidence to do this and not follow the crowd is commendable.
It’s hard to hear, but it’s true. My husband does not want me to stop working. I know that me staying home would be what’s best for the kids, but it’s so hard to make that lifestyle change. We need to pray about it, God can open doors and opportunities for us that we would never have even imagined.
Having been born in 1980 - I was put into daycare by the time I was just 8 weeks old all the way until it was time to start kindergarten. I can remember crying myself into hysterics waving good bye to my mom from the window of my day care as her car pulled away each morning, watching and waving until I couldn't see her car anymore. I'd eventually go on with my day, but I can distinctly remember how bad it felt when the daycare workers would get frustrated with me over how much I missed her - which was from sun up until she returned to pick me up at sun down. Every single day. I am living proof of how the mother/child bonding process is interrupted when children are dumped into daycare, and how this lack of solid bonding can have a lifelong effect. (Literally sobbing as I'm typing this.) My husband and I decided long before we were married that if we were to ever have kids of our own - that they would never have to know the agony of what it's like to be raised in a day care. We were married for almost five years when our first child was born 15 years ago - and I've been a stay at home mom raising him and his little sister who soon followed every day since. Thankfully, I married a hard working, dedicated man who worked tirelessly to make ends meet as a single income family. I coupon clipped, and cut as many corners as possible - we both knew the importance of our children having a loving, devoted, full time mother who was there for every one of their firsts. It was me - not a day care worker who got to kiss and console every boo-boo, it was me - not a day care worker who held their tiny hands as they took their first steps - and it was me - not a daycare worker who squealed in love and excitement as they smiled their first real smiles - and and it was worth every penny sacrificed. It's so unfortunate that in this day and age, being a full time stay at home mom comes with a lot of harsh judgement. I myself have received a lot of ridicule and resentment by other women who have looked down on me for being a stay at home mom. Some women (mostly fellow mothers) have literally asked me why I felt that wasting my life was a good example to our children. Some said that they wished they had married a man with the endless amounts of income so that they too could afford to stay at home all day, laying around eating bon-bons. It was so surprising to me how many women just assumed things like this, when in reality - they had it all wrong. No child asks to be born into this world. Why is it so hard for mothers of young children to understand that all children need and totally deserve to have the love, time and full attention that no day care center could possibly provide the way a mother could? As for the women who push and advocate so staunchly for the whole “working mom" career ideology - I wonder what they'd say if they were asked who they'd rather be raised by as a young child themselves.... Would they rather a nanny, a daycare, or by their own loving mother. Unfortunately, I don't think many of them would answer that question honestly.
Totally agree with you. I left my job to take care of my first born since he was clearly emotionally disturbed. I fully enjoyed being with my kids taking care of them, teaching them and being their emotional support when needed. Only problem is, I could never find any job after that just because I did not work for 8 to 10 years taking care of my children. Part time jobs are not there at all in tech industry. Since it was 15 to 20 years before covid there was no work from home. I upskilled myself doing lots of courses but still could not find a job. One single income put lots of strain and unfortunately when my husband lost his job last year I am silently suffering with my health issues since I cannot afford a health insurance. All these years society discriminated me since I was not working. The system is not at all helping women to take break to raise families. They cannot get a job once they leave the work force. No part time jobs available at all. Why is this system so much family hostile?
@@weare4s I am really sorry you are struggling. But I know lots of women who left the workforce and returned after they had children. The tech industry would be a different sort of situation because it would be constantly updating and anyone out of it for a decade or more would need to update their education. But I think the workforce is generally friendly to anyone who is responsible and shows they know how to be on time and be reliable and honest. If that describes you, there will be a company that will value you.
Tech industry is brutal. Even after adding lots of value to my resume, doing more certifications and volunteering, the moment they hear I left the job to take care of kids, they will not even call me for interview. I had excellent references from my jobs and had proven my honesty and worked super hard. This system is just unfair. After sincerely upskilling and trying for job for a decade, I got frustrated. I stopped searching and just teaching a language now for free in my community. Once we leave the job, we become useless for tech industry. System is totally family hostile. It thinks kids just grow up by themselves and a parent at home is not needed at all.
@@weare4s rest assured that you did the absolute and totally right thing! But it is absolutely also true that you are in a very difficult field for leaving it for a long time. My son is also in the tech field. He used to be able to get a job really quickly, but the last time he had to search for a couple of months. Now he has found a very good job that pays even higher than what he used to have. The last job was the company downsizing and gave him several months severance pay and even helped their employees with employment counseling that they had to let go. But it is true that the tech industry is not conducive to moms and home life. And that’s too bad. But God has a plan for you. If you are helping people in your community, you’re touching the lives of others in a way that they really need and if you had a job, you would not be there to do that. God has a plan and he’s using you!
I would never regret that I stayed at home to take care of my children who needed me the most then. If the system offers part time jobs, flexibility etc to parents it would help enarmously for the society and families. Parents can balance family and work and raise a generation of happy and secure kids. System should definitely change, until then people should not fool young girls that anything is possible since it involves paying huge cost for every choice they make once they become mothers.
I read Martha Peace's The Excellent Wife years ago and she mentioned exactly that about the second income going to other cost rather than really contributing to the household having more.
Thank you for being so open and honest and forward with your thoughts on this matter! I wish I had the balls to say this sortof thing when converstaion comes up about why my TWO YEAR OLD AND 11MONTH OLD are not in daycare. Like, idk, maybe because they are BABIES!!!! Once I feel comfortable in our communication, THEN i will send them to be with others and they will be able to tell me what goes on.
This is so smart, especially before potty training and such there is SO much they rely on adults for. Physical neglect can lead to permanent health issues down the line, especially with holding it too long. Other adults are not as in tune with the nonverbal cues of your child.
Nanny to daycare worker here. YUP. The picture you paint is an optimistic one. I've worked in 6 daycares. I've seen kids held down to nap then wake up screaming bloody murder. I've seen children under 3 fed choke hazard foods (popcorn and raw carrots!!) and open access to choke hazard sensory bins (dried beans!!!). I've seen kids empty toy boxes get in and then other kids put the lid on and stand on it. I've seen kids blankets and lovies from home confiscated for bad behavior (this should not happen-it is emotional abuse). I've seen huge outbreaks of diaper rash and I've over here knowing the "know-it-all" worker is putting the clean diaper under the dirty one (spreads germs, is disgusting) while she's changing diapers. I've seen workers take their hands off and put their back to a child on the changing table while changing them to look for items. I've seen ones children given paint and paper plates to paint on while they were put in a high chair. I pointed out that something made them think it was their snack and not food since they were shoving it in their mouths. Finally, I've even seen a one slapped for fidgeting with the high chair tray. I told the other teacher to take the tray if it bothered her. She said "she has to learn." The sad number of "they have to learn" forcing them to learn things they should be learning in 2 or 3 years not how from various staff and directors from different daycares make me so sad for children. If the mom is high powered making over 50k a year, hire a nanny, stagger schedules with your spouse so you can hire a part time nanny. The only daycares where they can pay well enough to be picky and hire those that know child development is really Headstart, a government program for poor kids. I've applied to and toured church daycares and preschools. Those seem pretty decent. The Waldorf preschool also seems decent.
Thank you for your insights. I hope the point of my video is found to be that it is best for a parent to stay home with the child. A loving parent is the very best care they will ever receive and children deserve the best.
I feel sending kids to day care for few(3-4) hours a day helps them interact with other kids and gives you a break and take rest and also you wint miss them much and still van teach them through out the day and enjoy the milestones.
Almost my whole childhood was spent in daycare. Including summer break. I was forced to throw away my youth in a child kennel. But I cant bring this up to my parents because i know theyll just gaslight me like they always have.
I am a homemaker and I am so glad that I am home to enjoy and raise my 6 month old baby boy and help my husband. I grew up in a home daycare ran by my mom and know others who own/ed daycare centers and I know all too well the things you’ve mentioned.
You are a wonderful human being! Thank you for your honesty, it is so valued! I value it, and it just boosts my self-awareness and my belief in myself! I always reflected on all these aspects, and even noticed downward trends of how it was affecting my kid more negatively, than positively! Unfortunately, the father of the child is of complete opposite make. He chooses to blindly believe in the opinion of the majority even when the negative sides are loud and obvious in his face! I hope I will live long to be able to help my child grow a happy and a healthy person! I love him so much!
Sometimes it's just not possible for a relative to watch them .these days it's just not possible for anyone to live on one income. I have worked in childcare for 34 years and I look at as an adventure for teaching.
@@kristink5884 Well that just isn’t true. Lots of families live on one income. Lots. It’s a matter of choices and priorities. Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for your amazing video, i live in europe and i quit my corporate job and started a half time business at home to be with my daughter as much as possible . Since she is 18 months she goes 3 hours per day to a very small daycare (ratio 3 to 1), very nice staff , lots of montessori and outdoor activities, when she cried they call me and let me come to see her or pick her up. Her nap time and the rest of her day is with me always. I was able to breastfeed until 2,5 years old. She is now almost 3 years old and very happy to go see her friends and do the activities for 3 hours each day but if i have to do it all over again i will not put her there before the age of 2. I hope these 3 hours per day did not harm her i still feel so guilty because i learned more about how it is important to be with our kids at this age 😢
Whatever you said is true, BUT what do you suggest parents do? How are they going to make money if they do not work? Not all families can afford one parent staying home and not all families have relatives they can trust.
I appreciate your comment, but I also must say that finding creative ways to make income while one parent stays at home is the best thing to do. I know that some families struggle financially, but as explained, most of the time an adjustment in lifestyle, car, home, etc can accomodate a single income until the child is older. Sacrifice is required when raising a child and sometimes that means a smaller home, a less expensive car, adjusting work hours to allow for parental care of the child, etc. Whatever it takes, my advice is to do it so your child will be with you while they are very young.
@@MommyAnswerLadyAgreed. My mother refused to be creative and was happier being a “victim of circumstances”, despite the circumstances being a result of either poor choices on her part, or being too scared to make any positive changes. Sadly, I’ve since had to sever contact with her for my own mental health and for the good of my children not being exposed to her toxic negativity. And I’m sure she once again just sees herself as a victim of circumstances. But I’m done with that, and my husband and I are working together to teach our children to always look for the best options, even if they’re not the easy ones. And we’re doing it while I stay at home with the kids. 😊
@@FireMinstrel I’m so glad you stay home with your children, but I’m sad to know of the severing of your relationship with your mother. I hope you can honor her by thanking her for the good things she did even though you are aware of the bad. Your life is a way to honor her also by the way you live it. Blessings to all of you.
I’ve worked in daycares, preschools and the US public school system. I also did not like how things were run at some facilities. I’m in the process of starting an in home daycare. My goal is to keep a very low ratio (like 2-3 kids) and give them the one-on-one attention that they need. I also found that centers aren’t alway open with parents. Staff will said “they had a great day” but I’m able to tell parents things like “they really enjoyed doing (blank) today, or we struggled with (blank) today what can I do to help they”.
Here in Japan, the law says that there must be one licensed childcare worker for every twenty 3 year olds! That ratio is so nuts to me! So there are employers who just think "because the law says that, I don't need to give them any help." That is so negligent--if one child has an accident, how can you safely watch that many kids as you help that child? I work for an international preschool and I teach the kids English, and my class had 22 kids last school year. With just me and my licensed childcare worker partner, I was too afraid to take them on walks or go to the park. This year, I have 13 kids and I'm really looking forward to the break.
This video is eye 👁 opener for all parents who thinks the daycare are better place to leave I completely agree with this video I recently had very bad experience with my 18 month toddler They left my baby crying all alone for about 30min Without interacting with I watched all from windows I just wanted to see how long they will leave babies attending Caregivers are working like a machine not human touch at all They take everything granted to do with our kids Its just Dangerous to leave baby in daycare
I worked in a preschool, its really subjective from one person's experience to another. When you have more reliable people in your house to look after kids, then kids are likely to learn faster from the reliable adults in your house. Otherwise, daycare is a good option especially if they have a good curriculum and care for children. You have to assess the schools and teachers. Some teachers can treat children like how they are treated poorly in third world countries whereas other teachers treat the children like their own with so much care and dedication.
Thank you for your comment. My point is that children need their mom. They need her at home when they are young and the mom is the very best caregiver in nearly every circumstance. Parents want what is best? Do they want to fulfill the true needs of their children? Yes. So, full time daycare is not the best option no matter the circumstances. It may be necessary in some rare circumstances, but usually alternatives can be arranged and should be if at all possible.
The problem is that in Europe childcare is free. So it's very convinient for parents. I think its very true that it's not ideal for kids. I worked in a daycare too, everyone was very good but it's true that we couldn't truly attend all those kids at once.
I have kindergarten across the road from where I live I see 2 and 3 yr olds being dropped off a 6am and it's still pitch black and picked up at 6pm that's along time for toddler. Some there that long they don't want to go home
I totally agree. As a grandmother, it is not necessarily our job to do daycare for our grandchildren. But, if you do, you deserve all the praise and gratitude that should come with it. It is the parents' job to raise their children and the grandparents are supposed to be there to support and help when they can. But they are not obligated to raise their grandchild if the parents are capable to do so. And not because the parents are selfish and want a bigger house or fancier car. The best place for a child to be is in the daily care and nurture of their own loving parents.
Very true time goes by so fast my children won't be little forever and working at the daycare they go to is what I've been doing since I've had my first child but some daycare owners I feel are in it strictly for and not for the ECE part of the business.
Thank you for this video. Unfortunately, my daughter is in daycare (single parent). Just this week she has been hit and bitten by other kids and now she is more aggressive.
❤ You got this mama. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. I agree that you should seek an alternative daycare situation :/ obviously there are better and worse places out there, but I know it’s easier said than done. I was a single mother for a while and I know how blessed I was to have family support. It’s not an easy path and my prayers go out to you! ❤️
I'm sorry this has happened to your child. It's not right. While it could be a case of neglect on the part of the care providers it's most likely due to the provider/child ratio. I've worked in daycare for several years and no matter how hard you try, it's impossible to catch everything with that many children solely in your care, especially while you're expected to do other tasks. For example: imagine you are in charge of 5 toddlers and it's time for diaper changes. You're in the middle of changing a child and there are 4 other toddlers in the room. Even if you've given each child an activity to do before you begin, they can still get into trouble (ex: biting another child). It has been my opinion for years (and co workers have agreed) that the ratios are wrong. Current ratios are as follows: Infants 1 to 3 Toddlers 1 to 5 Preschoolers 1 to 8 I feel, there should always be 2 providers in the room due to the scenario mentioned above and others similar to it. Child care regulations definitely need to be updated and changed to benefit the children.
I’m so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. ❤❤❤ It’s often taught to us to suppress healthy anger, I hope you guys can find some outlets to let it out. Teach your kids it’s ok to tell the other kids off/ block their abusive behaviors with the help of their parents and the staff. ❤ It’s not fair that she’s having to stand up for herself this young, I hope this video helped you feel empowered too.
I completely agree with everything you've said. Trusting school systems is not good either. If I had known then what I understand now about government mind control programming/abuse within many daycares and schools systems in addition to even much more simple things, there's no way I would have sent my children to school. I lived in a small community and knew most of the teachers well, but things still happened that I didn't know about and found very disturbing when I realized what had taken place---for example, the reading of Harry Potter together as a class!!
Many, many, many children thrive in a properly run Day Care setting! Parents, it’s up to you to do your homework when checking out child care for your little one. In the right Day Care, children can absolutely flourish in all of their developmental domains. Clumping all child care Centers in the same sub standard category is unfair & highly assumed. Parents NEED to be picky, do their own research on a child Care facility, read reviews, ask for educational backgrounds of employees, ask about curriculum, etc. The right Day Care Center can help your child flourish above & beyond their educational & developmental years! There are great child Care Centers & horrible Child Care Centers. There are also great home experiences for little ones & horrible home experiences for little ones. 0:15
The point of this video is not saying whether or not any daycare situation is good or bad necessarily. Obviously there are bad daycare centers, and it is very difficult to tell what is actually happening to a child during the day when you were not there. But the point is that it is better for a child to be with their parent during the day. Like I said in the video, a few hours a few times a week is totally fine. But full-time daycare is not fine and not the best thing for a child. There is no doubt about that. Statistics just show it to be generally true. And you don’t need statistics to know it. It’s common sense.
Even though it is a struggle as a single mom, I have refused to put my children into daycare. I only get jobs that work around my child's needs to ensure they get more of my time than anyone else. Being a mom is the best and i wouldnt trade it for anything.
Thank you for your honest video, it makes so much sense what you are saying. My daughter is going to be putting her ten-month-old in daycare, she has a career as a lawyer she also has a partner who is on a good remuneration. So I don't understand. I would love to look after my granddaughter but it's not possible, bc I live too far away. I've aired my opinion that I'm not happy with this. After all, my daughter didn't go to nursery, My ex-husband said that I should be supporting her and not making her feel guilty, but underneath I feel so upset with it all. My granddaughter isn't even talking or walking yet.
I will never understand how some people leave their children to daycare never For what i know in America also there were joint families and grandparents used to help raise children This Hyper individualism gonna reach my country too its sickening
I’m looking into doing back office with my job, because my daughter (2y 7m) she been having tantrums and I feel as a mom something is going wrong..my husband saying opposite but I’m standing my ground and taking her out of school permanently
Look up tantrums on this channel. She needs you. At home with her. She needs eye to eye time at least 2-3 times a day. And she needs training to learn to behave. You can do this!
I used to volunteer for a daycare I Eyewitness child abuse and yes I reported to the manager but She never fire the teacher I was so upset I had to reported to my job program SCC it saw teenagers how to become adults getting ready for the new world.... Am a person who deal with PTSD I told my teacher what happened And I didn't want to volunteer there no longer
One mile from my job a Day Care operates. The kids are super young. What a sin to watch late model cars come & go collecting the kids. BMWs........Mercedes......Lexus......I saw a Land Ranger pull out recently. It still had the brand new temporary cardboard license plate. That's a $120K auto. Shameful. Their kids will be a mess.
I dropped off a child at a public school several times and was thinking the same thing. Look at all these expensive automobiles and your sending your child here for quality education 😮
@@tangoingthekitchen My job is to tell parents what I believe is best. What’s best is to have their children at home with them. That’s what’s best for the child. I cannot answer every family’s own dilemmas. First, one parent stay home. That’s the answer. Adjust living standards if necessary. They are single and can’t? Do you mean they don’t have family close by but they do in another location? Ok. Move. Do you mean they don’t have family period? Ok, see what arrangements can be made with another parent by exchanging services with them and adjusting schedules. Work fewer hours. Adjust standard of living. Take in children and create a part time daycare in your own home so you can stay home with your child. Idk each person’s situation. There is no way I could. All I can do is lay out what is best for the child. The rest is up yo each parent. There will be situations where a parent truly has no choice. But those situations are much more rare than the number of children in full-time daycare now.
I had no choice but to send my child to daycare. I wish my wife can be a stay home Wife, but I can’t afford it. One day I will. My baby was born Dec. 2019, she haven’t been around anyone until her birthday and Christmas. 2021, we still kind of stayed separated because of the pandemic, but her grandmas and cousins came to our house here and there. She still wasn’t around a lot of kids then. Fall 2021, we tried the daycare route, she had a bruised eye her 3rd day. So we stopped, her grandmas took turns watching her, but it was taking a toll on them because they were up in age. So a few weeks ago today, we tried it again, so far so good, but I’ve been a nervous wreck since yesterday, they told me my daughter not interacting with other kids. She interacts with the tv, she say her numbers and colors. I believe its because she doesn’t want to be there, because she use to cry every time I leave her there. It’s scary, because I’ve been looking into autism symptoms since I picked her up yesterday.
I’m sorry you are struggling. But like I said in the video--look at the cost of daycare including extra car, gas, insurance, daycare fees, etc. You can do it with one income if you really try! Mom can also find ways to work from home doing a home business. There are lots of ways to make money on the side. Prayers for you and blessings. I’m so glad you commented. 😊
This is a plan to work on with the child. th-cam.com/video/k6eY3qR3EZc/w-d-xo.htmlsi=Mq0tLj_HtshfEvZL This is what to do when they hit. th-cam.com/video/jZEc4MZx5ds/w-d-xo.htmlsi=_hE7iog4LB5zs3U5 Show all childcare workers both videos and show parents so everyone will be on the sane page.
This is so true. And/but we live in a hugely different world than when i was that age. A lot of moms were home so kids were just able to play with other kids in the neighborhood back then(1960s). The moms sometimes visited with each other while the kids played. If more people would be better at choosing and staying with a marriage partner, there would be much less need for full time daycare.
I understand your point. The choices we make will affect our children. This is one of the ramifications of taking the marriage vows lightly and accepting sex outside of marriage as the norm. All these things cause problems for the society and that hurts children in the long run.
I’ve been a dedicated childcare provider for decades now. I even owned & personally operated my home daycare prior to the pandemic. Most childcare providers should be mandated to take psychological & drug/alcohol exams on an annual basis to say the least. This will help “weed”out the providers that honestly LOVE to care and teach our young babies. MOST providers are Child Providers because of the comfort at home and the MONEY.
Thank you for your input. I want to make clear that I agree with you about screenings and that they should be mandatory. I also believe there are very caring daycare workers. I also think it is fine for there to be daycare facilities available for those who really need it because there is no alternative of family - a one income home, etc. , although I prefer church based. I'm curious. Do you agree that it is not best for a child to be in fulltime daycare? That it is better if they are part time and spend more time with their moms?
I really hate what feminism has done to our society. I’ve had more feminists Christian’s pressure me into working just because we’re poor. Even my husband wants me to make ends meet but also be full time stay at home wife. It’s almost impossible to do both. I work just part time at night and I hate that I’m not fully there for my kid because I'm so tired
I’m so sorry you are in that situation. Your husband should be the provider and it isn’t right for him to put that responsibility on you. I hope you can honor him and respectfully talk to him about the problem. Maybe have him listen to this video and also the one about trad wives on this channel.
I loved our day care! Both of my kids started at 2 years of age. They couldn't wait to get there every morning. This was a high end daycare with a phenomenal owner. I think it was beneficial for me as well, for my own mental health. Not everyone loves to be with kids 24h/day, 7 days a week, no breaks. It's all case by case. And think twice before you forego your career. While some relationships last for a lifetime, 50% don't.
I did not say no breaks. I make VERY clear moms needs breaks. I have whole videos about it and how it can be accomplished! This video is talking about full time daycare. It’s not good for children to do that every day all day being away from their mothers. I am not convinced your little 2 year old couldn’t wait to get to daycare as you drove away everyday. I believe they would prefer to be with mom and her be there for them and put them before a career.
@@MommyAnswerLady It can be accomplished, I am sure, but the whole stay at home... it just isn't for me. The question is whether giving up a career is a wise decision. I am an attorney and I see stay at home moms who gave up their earning potential, thrown out in the cold after a divorce, or death of a spouse, or a health issue affecting their ability to earn. Some are forced to support the kids on their own, earning minimum wage and barely making ends meet. It's really heartbreaking. If that hasn't happened to you personally, congratulations, you have a great situation, but not everyone is that lucky.
@@ridleyramos7657 You have a different mindset than I do. I believe that children are the priority and should be to any parent. Any sacrifices that given to accommodate what is best for them is what should be done. Now that my children are grown, I have still put my family as my priority. But I am doing a lot of other things, and I actually did a lot of things while my children were growing up too. But staying home was what was best for them. And it is what’s best for all children. I’m not writing this to you personally, but your attitude seems very selfish. I’m saying that because of others reading here. I’m not trying to attack you. The attitude that a person wants their career in spite of children and doesn’t want to bother with staying home with children is a very selfish mindset in my view. I know that sounds harsh and offensive. And I’m sorry that it sounds that way. But it is the truth. I think a mother should let their children know that they are the most important thing to her. And her mind should be centered around doing what’s best for them. They are not a bother or keeping her away from her career. They ARE her career. They ARE her blessing in life and she cherishes them. Not that they are the only things in her life! I had a lot of other things in my life, and I believe women should have other things in their life. But those other things should never be priority. And we show our priorities by what we put first in our life. Some people here possibly including you are going to think that is judgmental. We all make judgments about things. I am here to tell parents what I believe is best for them to be the most effective parents and the best parent they can be. So what I am saying may sound harsh to you, but it is the truth and it is what lots of parents need to know and hear. When you leave your job, you will be easily replaced. When you leave home, you are not. If you prioritize your career, you will eventually come to regret it. And so will your children.
I agree with you up to the age of 2 to 3 y/o, but not after. I do not experience the doom you describe; our kids are thriving, well adjusted, and love school. The boy, an extrovert, experienced sudden improvement in speech and gross motor skills immediately after starting preschool. He would run to join his friends. There is something about being with his peers which can't be replaced at home, and I am glad I didn't deny him that experience. While there certainly are horror stories with preschool, so are with depriving them of peer socialization. I have my own law practice, a partnership with another female attorney who is also a mom. We are making a difference in the life of our clients, while putting our degrees to good use. We employ 4 other people. I wish people would accept or acknowledge other's life choices without chastising, making them feel bad, or guilt them into giving up a career they worked hard to achieve. I am happy to say I can do both, and if I can, so can anyone.
@@ridleyramos7657 You seem to not understand what I’m saying here. FULL TIME daycare. I’m talking about full-time. There is nothing wrong with a child going to some kind of program for young children for a few hours a couple of days a week. Children have a lot of nice experiences with other children and learn to socialize well. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that depending on the facility and the circumstances. But at the same time, full-time daycare is a whole different matter. And of course, your children will improve their motor skills and their social skills and all other skills you named. They are growing up! Of course they’re going to get better and better at those things and it won’t be because they went to daycare full time. There are plenty of moms who have businesses and have their children at home too. If you are the owner of a business, you could work around the situation to make sure your children have more time with you than they do with daycare workers. You choose not to do that. That is your choice and I disagree with it. And I’m not just talking to you. I’m talking to anyone reading. So don’t take my opinion so personally. Your career is your priority. That’s a choice you are making and that is up to you. But I disagree with it and no amount of discussion here is going to change my mind. Children are better, safer, more well adjusted, and secure in their relationship with with their parents when they stay with them during the first 5 to 6 years of life throughout their day. In fact, even after that, if they spend a lot of time with your parents versus their peers, that’s also a good thing if they have mature and loving parents. But they do need to be with other children and it’s important. They have those activities on a regular basis so that they are well socialized as well.
What can you do if not sending your child to daycare is not an option. I have no support in staying home or relying on grandparents. So what can I do? And what if that se isn’t income is over 6 figures?
Most of the time, it’s not only spiritually draining and damaging to a child parent relationship--it is also financially draining to do full time daycare with two incomes.
You’re such a wealth of information! I’m a single mother doing everything alone. I’m able to work from home and keep my kiddo home but must admit I’m quite tired and my work suffers. Are you ever willing to chat one on one? I’d love some guidance from you on a few things and admit I need the help.
"I'm not big on studies they just don't make sense". Huh, that is precisely what the whole function of a study is, to make sense of a topic of interest. I just can't even finish now 😂
I think if you dug deeper into most "studies" you would see the outcome is "coincidentally" in line with the narrative that the "scientist" was hoping to promote. There were studies showing lobotomies were beneficial, the world would end in the 1980s from overpopulation, even that smoking was good for you. For example: "In 1937, the Philip Morris company took that one step forward with a Saturday Evening Post ad claiming doctors had conducted a study showing “when smokers changed to Philip Morris, every case of irritation cleared completely and definitely improved.” What it didn’t mention was that Philip Morris had sponsored those doctors." Most recently, studies showed that the C19 vaccine will stop the spread of the virus as well as stop people from getting it and masks will also. All not true. So, if you want to always trust "studies" for all your information and as soon as a new one comes out change your ideas or opinions, I suggest you will never be sure of anything. Common sense and context have to be applied to any "scientific study" being touted at the moment. Because you never know when the next one will contradict it.
So please someone tell me what I'm supposed to do then. I am a single mother 3-year-old. How am I supposed to provide for my child and not put him in daycare? Serious question. Please answer
I'm sorry you are struggling. There is no way I can tell every person how they can handle their own personal situation as every situation is different. All I can tell you is that full time daycare is not best as I did in this video. I hope you are able to find ways to change the circumstances to best deal with what has happened that has lead to you being in these circumstances. Blessings.
Girl do what you believe you have to and trust God with the rest. I've read through so many of these comments and no one seems to have the answer. Find the best childcare service you can, try to find something with cameras so you can see from your cell phone or hire a nanny, and just pray. Y'all will be fine, I will pray for you too ❤
A M A Z I N G video!! I absolutely cannot wait to have children and I am very ready to do motherhood but I refuse to bring babies into this world if I won’t be able to be their primary and full time caregiver. And I refuse to get married, even though I am ready for that commitment, because I cannot, for the life of me marry a man that doesn’t understand every single point you made on this video and that won’t stand up and provide and make the sacrifices to allow me to stay home with our “prospective” children. I just can’t do it, I cannot fathom the possibility of not being “there” 🤷🏽♀️ They are not even born yet and I am already stressing about only spending 18 summers with them 🤣 I work as a nanny in NYC and while it provides an income that I can’t complain about, I can’t help but be sad for my nanny babies. SO MANY moms who have the financial freedom, through their partners, to stay home with their children and they STILL choose their careers over their babies. I get these children at 9 am and hand them back 5 P.M., the parents only feed them dinner and put them to bed, it breaks my heart. At the same time, I’m happy I get to be there for them because I love them as my own ❤️ and I’m thankful God has put people like you in my way that teach me how to train and bring them up as nice human beings. I paid my way through a BA in ECE just so I could understand child development and know what to do when my time came 🥰 God knows I’m very ready, I cannot wait for my turn! Thank you for sharing all these pearls of wisdom!
i have a 2 year old and i rly dont want to send her,but i wouldnt only socialize so she would play with other kids bc i am affraid she would get shy if she didnt socialize with kids her own age,she does play with random kids on play grounds,so im happy about it. My question is does it mentaly impact a child if it doesnt socialize from early age with the kids of same age? And if not are they going to be able to make connectionnin school if they never go to kindergarden? And when and if should we put them in kindergarden? ty.
@@pikabamboo4175 Thank you for asking. Socializing is completely available in many ways. Having siblings, cousins, doing play dates with other moms, playground time, and going to church. All these are totally valid ways to allow your child to socialize at an early age. Daycare is not necessary and certainly not full time daycare which is what this video is about. I’m all for homeschooling or private Christian school. I do not recommend public school anymore at this point. Starting them in private kindergarten would be reasonable at 5-6 years old but better late than too early. Lots of learning can be easily done at home before that with play and activities that include colors, letters, letter sounds, numbers and etc.
I really appreciate your insight on your parenting videos. While I agree with your points on the issue of daycare, I think it is important to note more than just in passing, that some parents don't have a choice. And while some may not have considered every point you addressed, I think deep down they all want to spend more time with their kids than they are able and dont want someone else raising them. While I hope those who have a choice will weigh the pros and cons and make the best choice for their kids, I also don't want parents to feel guilty for having to send their child to daycare. There are many situations where daycare is the only option to avoid worse consequences. I would love to see a video on your thoughts for those who have to use daycare and how to make the most of that situation as well. Keep up the good work! More videos on non-traditional parenting, kids with special needs or behaviors, and dealing with teens would be great topics I'd appreciate and could use as a resource at work!
Thank you for your comment. While I agree there are some situations that make daycare necessary, I believe they are more the exception than the rule. It is the culture that has made it seem like it’s a normal thing to send kids away from their parents as soon as they are a few weeks old. It is the culture as in the kinds cars and homes people feel they must have, the general lifestyle of material goods being a faux need and being busy means you are a significant person. This attitude has caused exhausted parents/spouses which effects children and the family. It eventually breaks up families. Also the culture of promiscuity and having babies without marriage. This adds to single motherhood which also puts children in a position of ending up in full time daycare. All this is hurting our society. We need to change the mindset and make it very clear that putting children in daycare all day isn’t good. It isn’t what’s best. And we need to stop worrying that this message will make people uncomfortable--because it’s true. I will consider your idea about another video talking about what to do if it is necessary. But the first goal in that would be to work toward making it not necessary. Thank you for the suggestion!
@@MommyAnswerLady Again I completely agree with most of what you are saying however I think you are living in a bubble if you think broken families, non-traditional families, poverty, unfortunate circumstances, social services and court involvement, etc etc are an exception! It's the sad reality. And making a video about the reasons to not put kids in daycare is not going to fix any of the above mentioned issues. All I'm trying to get across is that we need to be understanding of the fact that the world isn't made up of people in your situation. A simple preface to the video acknowledging situations where parents don't have a better choice would be much more sensitive to all viewers or a note that you are not speaking to those who are not in a two-parent, financially stable household for example. Thanks for considering!
@@ashleighregier9043 Well…I’m not living in a bubble. I am very aware of the world and the situation with those who are in circumstances that don’t allow alternatives. That is why I made clear this video is referring to 2 income families. I’m not as concerned with being sensitive as I am with being truthful. The things I said need to be considered and priorities put in place. And when they are, many children in FULL TIME daycare don’t need to be there. Thank you again for your comments and I really appreciate you taking time to write them to me!
@@MommyAnswerLady Ok, sorry I didn't think it was made clear. Also, according to the US Dept of Ed, in 2019, "a higher percentage of children in single-parent families than two- parent families were in weekly childcare." I wouldn't call that an exception. And that doesn't even take in to consideration all the other possible reasons. That's just my perspective on it. When parents *have* options and the choice to make, your video is a great tool for them to make an informed decision.
@@ashleighregier9043 I think I didn’t make myself clear. It’s more the exception than the rule that full time daycare is necessary. Not that there are more two income families who take their children to full time daycare. In other words, in all households, it is more the exception than the rule that there is no other option than full time daycare. Not in just those who chose it. But I get your point. And it is valid. Thank you for your thoughts.
I see so many parents then, after they send them to daycare all week, feel that it's a good thing for them to also "get away" together. Lol the child maybe spends a couple hours a week with them.
Most of your points are valid. Personally I would not ask my parents to take care of my children while I work. They did their part raising me and now it's their time to enjoy their grandchildren, not deal with the stress of handling everything that comes with taking care of a young child. My opinion anyway. I'm a daycare worker for 14 years and I assure you the parents whose kids are in my care want their kids to be there. They get overwhelmed with small kids at home or simply have to work and seeking help with their child from people who are highly qualified. A high quality daycare has high quality staff who provide high quality care and there are plenty out there. High quality daycares retain staff who hold each other accountable so all these scenarios you described doesn't happen. My mantra as a daycare daycare worker, don't do anything in parents' absence that you won't do in their presence ❤
7 things out the door when you are a single mother of toddler twins working FT to provide for our little family without any assistance or goverment help!
The 7 things in this video do not become untrue because you are in a situation that causes you to need to have your children taken care of during your works hours. They are all still true. But I do sympathize with your plight and understand your dilemma. My suggestion would be to find a way to cooperate with another mom or family you know and work out some kind of alternative. Maybe a relative can help? Maybe you can watch others children so you can be the caretaker and they pay you. I know that isn't ideal, but it can give you the peace of mind that you are the one being with your children during the day. And, you would treat the others with love and concern. Maybe switch off with other parents, etc. But, I do understand your problem. No matter what, all the things in this video still apply and are true. Prayers for you as you try to navigate your specific situation.
@@MommyAnswerLady Did I say they were untrue? No. I'm saying they go out the door when you are a Single Mother without friends/family around. I make a six figure salary solo and I'm not making that watching other kids. But you did say in the beginning of the video are you a two person household? No I'm not. But kuddos to all the parents able to stay home with their children. I'm an older mother, all my friends kids are in school and are focusing on their careers now, not watching friends babies for free.
@@KristinaKage It is up to you what you want to do and I hope you will consider the things said in this video. Blessings to you on your parenting journey.
I'm a single dad and I work 10hrs a day in order to put food on table and roof over our head. I have no family to help daycare is all I got. Any other options?
Reconcile with your wife, the mother of your children, if she is still alive. If she is not, find a lovely single Christian lady who wants nothing more than to be a wife and mother. Love her and give her a home and life that most women would envy by being the husband and father you should be. That’s the best alternatives available.
I had someone tell me they put their one year old in daycare because they want them to be independent, confident, and God-fearing. A one year old needs their parents.. the first five years of a kids life is critical for setting a foundation or they will always be influenced by peers or others.
How refreshing - I'm not a mother but I cannot understand why women have children when they're just going to use daycare. A mother should be caring for their children themselves. It's either a career or motherhood.
Thank you so much for your advice you stopped me from mistake i was going to do by thinking of sending my baby to daycare. Thank Allah I watched your video. ❤❤❤❤
If I had to have low wage strangers paid to be a 'teacher' (not even nurturer) for my children when under 5, I'd not of had them. The joy is to see them thrive especially emotionally setting them up for life. Otherwise no point. Only about 1 in 30 workers is 20% of mary poppins or better, the rest its a chore. And why not as 40 hrs a week for probably giving what they may have never even got? Only someone who cares and is capable provides the intangible emotional care that isnt easily measured.
I work in a daycare and we treat them like our own. I don’t understand how some people who work in daycare, neglect the children if you don’t really care for kids, don’t work in a childcare environment.
@@user-wd3po8sd7k This video isn’t directed at childcare workers. It’s directed at parents. Parents should stay home with their little ones as much as possible and find relatives if at all possible if they have to work because of being a single parent. That’s the point. No matter how loving you might be, you still aren’t their parent and there are lots of other childcare workers who aren’t loving. Thats just a fact. What is best: Parents raise their own children. Moms stay home and raise them. That’s best.
I worked in daycare too and while it's true that we all loved the children dearly, it is physically impossible to give 4-8 babies the level of care and attention they needed. Read Being There by Erica Komisar. Daycare harms children's Brian's permanently, even the best teachers could never do enough, it's just not possible.
@@househannah333 I get how it’s hard with four or five babies and toddlers. I think one adult for every two babies or toddlers should be the rule. We only have two toddlers, about a year and a half old at our daycare, and just those two alone require constant attention.
True. Daycares are incompetent of raising children and using early childhood education is misleading as these children are not more advanced then children raised by their parents
I really appreciate this video. I've been pressured by my mother-in-law to start looking into preschools for my two-year-old. My household my brother and I never went to preschool. In their household they've been in daycare since 6 months of age. And she keeps getting on to me about how it would help her learning development.
Keep up your momma intuition! Stand strong and do what is best for your kids--And being with you is best.
You should look her in the eye and tell her straight forward in a kind way--“I am not sending my small children to be cared for all day by others. Don’t bring up the subject again.”
Sometimes you have to let them know in no uncertain terms your position. And if you choose to homeschool, that’s fine too.
Your children can have plenty of social interaction with lots of activities with other children-sports teams, choir and drama clubs, 4H, scouting groups, church youth groups, play dates, etc.
Do what YOU think is best for your child....
I agree 1 million percent ...I am a mother of two precious young children I could not do it.
Ask her where she got her degree in child psychology.
I kept my kids home until age 6/7 and they are teens with straight A's, leads in plays, dance shows, oodles of friends.
I used to work for a daycare, and it taught me one thing…when I have kids do anything to keep your kids out of daycare. This is 1000% accurate. I even worked for the best rated daycare out there. If parents even knew what happened when parents weren’t around they’d do anything to stay home with their kids. There wasn’t anything what you would call abusive, but when you put somebody in a room in charge of 6 infants, some babies are literally put in a swing or pack and play the entire day, or the playroom with little adult interaction other than diaper and feeding time. And when they get older that ratio even grows more, and the bad kids get all the attention and the good kids are completely ignored.
This is true. Parents do not realize what really goes on throughout their child’s day. Thank you for the comment.
Heart breaking.
I work day care. I love the kids but there is NOTHING normal about thinking it's okay to let infants cry for long periods because you have to pick which child's needs should be met. It's all about meeting state ratios.
@@Laurieohio
I’m not sure of your point here. This video is recommending not to put kids in daycare. Context matters. This comment seems way out of it.
@@MommyAnswerLady I'm agreeing that kids don't belong in day care.
I was fired from a daycare because I helped a little boy in braces get back to his feet and carried him to the door because the pain of the braces were at a point here he was crying.
The other workers had ignored him for the previous few days as I saw him increase in distress.
The owner of the daycare called me into her office and said she couldn’t have anyone that showed “favoritism” on staff, so she let me go.
I just saw a little disabled boy in pain that was always last and being constantly ignored - and my heart broke for him. And I was fired for caring. I only worked there 2 weeks - but that plus my own experience being raised in daycare was enough for me to know to keep my own children far away…
Another example of why full time day care is a problem.
That is absolutely heartbreaking!!!
I found this incredibly comforting as a SAHM of two under 4. Society is getting crazier. We’re seriously considering home schooling.
Homeschooling is an excellent option.
same boat. might be challenging but better than the alternative.
I home schooled. I would do it again, but different. I would unschool. I would ignore family and friends who say its bad..
I would still send my kids to school in high school. There was a lot of benefits..
My kids have both said they aren't going to home school, but they are not sending their kids to public school. I think that's interesting..
Homeschool!!
I have been thinking the same thing! Everyone thinks I’m crazy lol but my husband supports me and that’s all that matters.
I’m a SAHM of two girls under the age of 3 years old and I LOVE being at home with them! I don’t regret not working to be with them because they are only this little once ❤
You are a very wise woman. 💕
I’m getting so much pressure to send my almost 3 year old to daycare, this video was helpful in sticking my ground to keep her with me !
Stay strong. You know what’s best for your little one!
@@Whatuptho1134
She’s three. Not at all.
@@Whatuptho1134 diid she watch this video?
@@Whatuptho1134
A three year old can get plenty of socialization by going to playdates with mom and friends. Watch the video again.
Keep your child home as much as possible. But you cannot force your wife to do the right thing.
Be loving and patient.
How will you get anything done and earn money and socialize the toddler with peers?
After I separated from my ex I moved back into my parents house. It’s been such a blessing to have my parents watch my toddler while I am at work. He goes to an organized playgroup at our park district once a week for an hour to learn and play. These teacher led groups are super affordable and a great way to introduce little ones to a classroom atmosphere if they are available in your area.
I’m glad your child has those advantages. 😊
The same thing happened to me. I got hired for a daycare position and only lasted a month because of the neglect and abuse I saw. I couldn't be a part of that. They would lock the autistic child in a closet for the day rather than referring him to a better equipped agency. I saw workers not washing their hands after changing diapers before handling snacks. It was nasty. I knew then and there that my children would never step foot in a daycare if God would help me. I have an almost 2 year old son and I praise the Lord he has provided for us so that either my husband or I are always with him. These years are precious and way too short.
I’m sorry that was happening. I would encourage anyone who sees those kinds of things to report them.
So glad you learned something that has benefited you and your Orr ious children - and I appreciate the comment!
I hope you reported it
Omg I hope you reported the abuse to the authorities and the parents!
If you didn't report that abuse then you are to blame as well for that abuse. If I was that parent I'd have you all in jail. Also I don't know what state you are in but if you witness abuse and don't report it's a felony ...
@@mrs.meowgi4879 I understand your feelings. I am a mom of a child/now adult with autism. My heart broke reading that comment. We need to protect the children of others as well as our own.
I’m a single parent, however I’m very blessed to be living in a basement suite of my parents, and i have been watching my niece and nephew for an income. It has allowed me to stay home with my son while watching family and Instilling similar values. My son who is now in elementary school has told me how glad he was to be at home with me rather than daycare. I realize it’s not the typical circumstances for many people, but I’m very grateful God has provided for us in this manner.
You are blessed! If only everyone had that opportunity, 💕
Thats awesome!!!
I’m child of a single mom who tried her best! I had to spend most of time in some form of childcare & it did impact me. Hearing this is possible for you & your son makes me SO happy! ❤️
Thank you for bringing me some type of reassurance, seems nobody understands me, but as long as God keeps providing and I’m able to stay home with my baby that’s all that matters ❣️
Thank you for posting this video and explaining in detail the reasons.
I was raised by a revolving door of strangers at daycare. I was abused and so was my sibling. I’m now a mom myself and I cannot even imagine putting my child in daycare. My mom didn’t pay much attention to us and put work as her number 1 priority.
To this day, my mom doesn’t regret it and still says she needed to work bc my dad or any man could up and leave her one day. I shake my head and think why the heck marry at all if you’re so afraid your husband will leave you?!
Also, a woman doesn’t need to work full time from their 20s to 60s in order to protect themselves financially. She needs an education and/or skill.
I'm sorry you have to go through that. Glad you learned from it and your children will benefit greatly!
As a former childcare provider who worked in daycare centers I totally agree with you. Lots of the teachers did show favoritism to other kids. I was very blessed quite a few years ago to be a nanny for my niece. Since I worked in daycare settings I did not want my niece to go through that
I’m so glad your niece has such an insightful and generous aunt!
If I could pay the bills as a single mom from home I definitely would! I totally agree with her on this and believe being a stay at home mom is a important job.
Thanks for not getting defensive about needing to be employed while being supportive of the ideal here. I wish more employed parents could embrace reality and the ideal at the same time like you. It’s a high level of functioning you are showing. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Bless you!!❤
I’ve always said this about daycare- didn’t place my own in daycare and definitely helped care for my grandchildren to keep them out of day care - this is an excellent informative video
That’s so wonderful it’s rare now days
Just started sending my child to daycare 2 days last week and I was hoping she would enjoy it, but I am finding out I was a bit naive in my expectations. She was upset when we left and upset when we picked her up. She was also not eating very much. I'm now trying to rethink how we approach daycare and see if we can't limit the time she spends there and get the grandparents involved once a week. Appreciate the advice from someone who is familiar with the job and environment of a daycare centre. Keep up the good work.
I'm so glad somebody is finally saying something about this we need more people talking about it
amen. great encouragement. ever since my husband and I were married and got pregnant, I've been a homemaker. for 4 years we've been able to do this; buy a house, feed and clothe our children 4, 2 and 1 due in January. have vehicles.. have fun, and live our lives - for whatever reason it's so hard for others to see or believe this. IF I worked, I would be going to work TO afford to send them to school/daycare full time. It is hard, no one said it was easy, but better than the alternative for sure.
Absolutely. My husband provided too and I worked sometimes from home as long as it didn’t interfere with keeping home and raising kids.
Did home parties, customer service calls,etc.
most of the time we just lived completely on his salary.
It was completely worth it!
I'm here with you! You can easily make it if you don't NEED BMW's, brand new iphones and brand new homes.
What state do you live in?? 😅
Yes, I work at a center and I can’t tell you how many times the children come to me crying for his/her mom or dad. So sad! Parents, pray that God makes a way for you to care for your own child(ren)
I work with autistic kids in a facility. Or did, until some personal issues popped up. I just came across some state that put the elderly in with the kids. 🥴 Could u imagine? Granted it's prob not the dementia or Alzheimer's kinds but if it was. I bet alotta of em would get into ish. Prob their own, literally & it'd be all over the walls. And the babies would just be like yay 👏🏻. I used to work in assisted facilities. & I used to bring my baby in there. I should've known better. But I thought it would lift their spirits. But then again, they weren't in their right minds & trying to touch all over all in her space... Anyways, I'm not saying I'm some rarity but if there's ppl out there like me, I'd feel way better about my baby being left in daycare. Well, especially a facility. Bc you can always say I need help... if not, it's just way more staff. Also, It's not an excuse to say it's hard when she's here & we have time off. A whole day will mainly just consist of me picking up after her, entertaining her, her following me everywhere, her wanting to get into everything, guessing her cries, keeping her clean, fed, 🥴🙄🥴😇 attempting to teach her wrong from right, what's effective what not. ,, & if it's not that, it's her being gone, me missing her, & worrying like crazy if she's ok, away from me. I'm a legitimate single mom & army of basically 1 (if u want to exclude her addict dad & enabling fam members) that I'm in between I can't support us if I don't work. But I can't go to work if Idk if she's safe & happy. And idk how I look shifting her from daycare to daycare.. But unfortunately, it does seem like alotta ppl don't care. It's just a check Im hoping this is my last 1. 1st 1 was just weird, pointless & acted cheap... 2nd, I said bye before it even really started. 3rd, she slapped my baby & I'll never forget that handprint. & It might be a mommy/female thing.. bc I did tell myself maybe I was being crazy but I'm not. The hands thing was already something but it just sucks being in this vulnerable position. But I knew it was breaking down her spirit &she's aonly 1 yr old She was never this feisty. She got over her raspberry's till she got there. & The in home person acted like they were such a burdensome. Especially mine bc she cried all the time. If she's crying that much, that's prob not all completely her. I wouldn't doubt that she showed favoritism bc she def told me she wasn't picking up my baby. Oh, and the rashs. The FN rashs...😭! My poor babies tender skin. & The way my baby was hesitant to even go to her. & She's picked up this weird habit to lick her fingers & make me lick after them... & She was always hungry coming back. I tried to make up excuses just to calm my own brain. Like she's just 1 & that many babies is alot. But I finally got her into a facility with more staff, more diversity, & even tho it's the hood, I do think (bc it's more staffed & actually monitored..) they interact w/ her more. 😋 & I know w/ staff there's always unnecessary competition.. although it's not always w/ the best intentions, there's at least more adult eyes. & Bc there's more space, my baby can play independently anyways. .. & there's just more kids for her to cross & to interact w/ so she can feel less lonely. & I've noticed less rashs. Surprised 😑😒, neglectful sh.! & They all do the initialing thing diapers & pullups thing. Just minus the time. I knew they'd look after her when they had to state in their intro it may seem like d/p u 's go fast but it's bc we're required to check on em so much .. Something I don't do, the writing, I mean. But I do change em. Besides, ppl can always tattle tell & u can always look at schedules. But picking her up today, only 3 days in, & she had the widest smile. Which I can already say is way better than that less 2 mths in that last daycare. They keep this up maybe I can actually focus on studying to be able to deal w/ these brats over here. Ppl really don't know how hard it is to struggle, & then struggle being a parent. How am I suppose to function if I think my babes spirits r down .. & she can't talk. But I sure as hell can read her changes in behaviors & facial expressions. Cuz like for me, honestly, it's ok to love on my kid! Just know your role. Otherwise, idc to know their personal lives or image or wever pointless thing others may get lost on. U can hate the world for all I care. At least just be good with kids & that's all I need to know At least they're harmless, mostly.
I told my wife I would scrub all the toilets of Yankee Stadium with a toothbrush before I ever let our two boys get dumped in some Day Care Warehouse. NFW. I fixed my old Jalopy. We did local family vacations. We joined Sam's Club and bought in bulk. We did whatever we had to do.
What an example you are! Good for you! 💕👌🏻
You can still scrub all the toilets of your house so you can help your wife while she’s staying home nurturing the children!
@@mochibi6035 I did exactly that. My wife was home with the boys every single day of their first 12.....13 years. I would join them at the beach, the playground, the bike path, etc. & we'd have a wonderful family lunch. They never saw the inside of a "Day Care". One of my proudest achievements.
I wish every family would decide to spend more time with their children. Praise be to God for your family and all the families out there. May we choose what’s best. May God send helping hand to all families.
Thank you for saying this!
This is so smart, especially before potty training and such there is SO much they rely on adults for. Nonverbal children can’t report to their parents. Physical neglect can lead to permanent health issues down the line, especially with holding it too long. Other adults are not as in tune with the nonverbal cues of your child, and they don’t have eyes in the back of their head.
It’s usually one caregiver for 4-6 kids, 3-4 diaper changes a day each leaves the other kids unwatched for 15-30 minutes a day. Then snack, then activity changes, the adults are not full time caregivers to each child in that room. The emotional development is sometimes ok, but the times it’s not… these kids go into first grade with baggage and emotional distress. 😢
It was so heartbreaking reading comments of former dc workers :(
Im so blessed to be able to stay home with my 8 month old baby girl. I love her so much and I can’t imagine leaving her with anyone else other than her dad and grand parents. Child rearing is hard enough even when it’s your own and you love them so much. I can’t imagine someone who’s taking care of my bub as a their job and my baby is one of the many babies to look after. It’s exhausting and im sure many dc workers are sweet but it requires a lot of patience and motherly love that only parents can give.
I used to volunteer in multiple daycares. Couldn’t agree more. The teacher yelling, favor some, ignoring , hygiene, and many more. I will not send my kids to daycare no matter what or where.
The trauma of infant day care sets most of those kids for the life of failure on so many levels. Our epidemics of drugs and homelessness is just one symptom of that. Also why most seniors end up in nursing homes in inhumane conditions
I am in tears after this video. My parenting has been consistently undermined, the benefits of daycare exhaulted by my parents who I relied on as a single Mum. I am getting married next month, so Im not alone anymore. I was looking at a new daycare for my 3 year old. She is very attached to me and cries if I need to go somewhere without her. Honestly I always believed daycare was good, although I would have preferred to look after my kids at home. I doubt there was abuse as my sister ran the daycare centre and she runs a tight ship she genuinely cares for the children. But you are right that my daughter needs her Mummy more than anyone else. Ive been so brainwashed to believe otherwise. I feel sad but I'm grateful because I won't put her in daycare now with people who I don't know. I am going to enjoy this last year together before she has to start school. I was going back to study but it can wait.
@@melaniejenkins2013 I’m so glad you have decided to stay home! There is a book I want to recommend that I just read to give you more motivation.
It’s “How to Build a Better Life” by Suzanne Venker.
She is not a Christian but her book is excellent. You’ll love it!
I'm not a mother. I'm not even married. But if I have kids, I don't want them in daycares/childcare when they are under about three, and not for long hours. I'm trying to set my life up in a way that would allow me to stay home.
As a first time single mother I found this comforting. I feel so bad because I work from home and I am constantly getting complaints for the daycare😢 I want to pull her completely from the daycare honestly
You can do it. I hope things go well and you can work it out!
Love this. Me and my two brothers were daycare babies from three months old. By the time we were 10, 13 and 16 we all had behavioral issues, one of us a drug addiction, and one of us actually got custody given up by mom. It was a broken family, also ended up with my dad taking to the bottle. I’m not saying daycare started all this, but I am saying a strong family unit is a necessity for mentally healthy, able bodied children. It’s a slippery slope. And is it really worth it for the sake of you earning a meaningless paycheck?
A strong family unit can be achieved even if your kids are in daycare. That's something that needs to be worked on daily no matter what situation. I work in education and I see what you would call traditional families that are broken. We never know what happens behind closed doors...
It’s very difficult today for parents to afford everyday expenses let alone day care. Parents working opposite shifts or having relatives provide child care are the only other options if one parent cannot stay home with the children. Excess consumerism has really messed up our society. My generation ( the 70’s) pushed the agenda of women into careers and the trap of more and better things as well as the government wanting more tax payers on board. I applaud all parents who are able to live within their means, sacrifice having unnecessary things, and prioritizing what truly matters in life. Having the confidence to do this and not follow the crowd is commendable.
It’s hard to hear, but it’s true. My husband does not want me to stop working. I know that me staying home would be what’s best for the kids, but it’s so hard to make that lifestyle change. We need to pray about it, God can open doors and opportunities for us that we would never have even imagined.
Yes, He can. Has your husband watched this video?
@@MommyAnswerLady will that solve the financial issues? Please let me know so that I can have my husband watch it too.😊
@@odalis1291
Your husband can provide if he is challenged to do so and realizes how important it is that your child stays home with his mom.
Having been born in 1980 - I was put into daycare by the time I was just 8 weeks old all the way until it was time to start kindergarten. I can remember crying myself into hysterics waving good bye to my mom from the window of my day care as her car pulled away each morning, watching and waving until I couldn't see her car anymore. I'd eventually go on with my day, but I can distinctly remember how bad it felt when the daycare workers would get frustrated with me over how much I missed her - which was from sun up until she returned to pick me up at sun down. Every single day.
I am living proof of how the mother/child bonding process is interrupted when children are dumped into daycare, and how this lack of solid bonding can have a lifelong effect. (Literally sobbing as I'm typing this.)
My husband and I decided long before we were married that if we were to ever have kids of our own - that they would never have to know the agony of what it's like to be raised in a day care. We were married for almost five years when our first child was born 15 years ago - and I've been a stay at home mom raising him and his little sister who soon followed every day since.
Thankfully, I married a hard working, dedicated man who worked tirelessly to make ends meet as a single income family. I coupon clipped, and cut as many corners as possible - we both knew the importance of our children having a loving, devoted, full time mother who was there for every one of their firsts.
It was me - not a day care worker who got to kiss and console every boo-boo, it was me - not a day care worker who held their tiny hands as they took their first steps - and it was me - not a daycare worker who squealed in love and excitement as they smiled their first real smiles - and and it was worth every penny sacrificed.
It's so unfortunate that in this day and age, being a full time stay at home mom comes with a lot of harsh judgement. I myself have received a lot of ridicule and resentment by other women who have looked down on me for being a stay at home mom. Some women (mostly fellow mothers) have literally asked me why I felt that wasting my life was a good example to our children. Some said that they wished they had married a man with the endless amounts of income so that they too could afford to stay at home all day, laying around eating bon-bons. It was so surprising to me how many women just assumed things like this, when in reality - they had it all wrong.
No child asks to be born into this world. Why is it so hard for mothers of young children to understand that all children need and totally deserve to have the love, time and full attention that no day care center could possibly provide the way a mother could?
As for the women who push and advocate so staunchly for the whole “working mom" career ideology - I wonder what they'd say if they were asked who they'd rather be raised by as a young child themselves.... Would they rather a nanny, a daycare, or by their own loving mother. Unfortunately, I don't think many of them would answer that question honestly.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s exactly what I’m trying to tell people!
Totally agree with you. I left my job to take care of my first born since he was clearly emotionally disturbed. I fully enjoyed being with my kids taking care of them, teaching them and being their emotional support when needed. Only problem is, I could never find any job after that just because I did not work for 8 to 10 years taking care of my children. Part time jobs are not there at all in tech industry. Since it was 15 to 20 years before covid there was no work from home. I upskilled myself doing lots of courses but still could not find a job. One single income put lots of strain and unfortunately when my husband lost his job last year I am silently suffering with my health issues since I cannot afford a health insurance. All these years society discriminated me since I was not working. The system is not at all helping women to take break to raise families. They cannot get a job once they leave the work force. No part time jobs available at all. Why is this system so much family hostile?
@@weare4s I am really sorry you are struggling. But I know lots of women who left the workforce and returned after they had children. The tech industry would be a different sort of situation because it would be constantly updating and anyone out of it for a decade or more would need to update their education.
But I think the workforce is generally friendly to anyone who is responsible and shows they know how to be on time and be reliable and honest. If that describes you, there will be a company that will value you.
Tech industry is brutal. Even after adding lots of value to my resume, doing more certifications and volunteering, the moment they hear I left the job to take care of kids, they will not even call me for interview. I had excellent references from my jobs and had proven my honesty and worked super hard. This system is just unfair. After sincerely upskilling and trying for job for a decade, I got frustrated. I stopped searching and just teaching a language now for free in my community. Once we leave the job, we become useless for tech industry. System is totally family hostile. It thinks kids just grow up by themselves and a parent at home is not needed at all.
@@weare4s rest assured that you did the absolute and totally right thing! But it is absolutely also true that you are in a very difficult field for leaving it for a long time. My son is also in the tech field. He used to be able to get a job really quickly, but the last time he had to search for a couple of months. Now he has found a very good job that pays even higher than what he used to have. The last job was the company downsizing and gave him several months severance pay and even helped their employees with employment counseling that they had to let go.
But it is true that the tech industry is not conducive to moms and home life. And that’s too bad. But God has a plan for you. If you are helping people in your community, you’re touching the lives of others in a way that they really need and if you had a job, you would not be there to do that. God has a plan and he’s using you!
Yes. I feel blessed to have the ooportunity to touch the lives of many in the community especially senior citizens.
I would never regret that I stayed at home to take care of my children who needed me the most then. If the system offers part time jobs, flexibility etc to parents it would help enarmously for the society and families. Parents can balance family and work and raise a generation of happy and secure kids. System should definitely change, until then people should not fool young girls that anything is possible since it involves paying huge cost for every choice they make once they become mothers.
I read Martha Peace's The Excellent Wife years ago and she mentioned exactly that about the second income going to other cost rather than really contributing to the household having more.
Thank you for being so open and honest and forward with your thoughts on this matter! I wish I had the balls to say this sortof thing when converstaion comes up about why my TWO YEAR OLD AND 11MONTH OLD are not in daycare. Like, idk, maybe because they are BABIES!!!! Once I feel comfortable in our communication, THEN i will send them to be with others and they will be able to tell me what goes on.
Thank you for the comment. I’m glad your little ones are safe at home with you. It’s to their benefit! I hope to hear from you again. 😊
Same here...the pressure is real😢
This is so smart, especially before potty training and such there is SO much they rely on adults for. Physical neglect can lead to permanent health issues down the line, especially with holding it too long. Other adults are not as in tune with the nonverbal cues of your child.
Nanny to daycare worker here. YUP. The picture you paint is an optimistic one. I've worked in 6 daycares. I've seen kids held down to nap then wake up screaming bloody murder. I've seen children under 3 fed choke hazard foods (popcorn and raw carrots!!) and open access to choke hazard sensory bins (dried beans!!!). I've seen kids empty toy boxes get in and then other kids put the lid on and stand on it. I've seen kids blankets and lovies from home confiscated for bad behavior (this should not happen-it is emotional abuse). I've seen huge outbreaks of diaper rash and I've over here knowing the "know-it-all" worker is putting the clean diaper under the dirty one (spreads germs, is disgusting) while she's changing diapers. I've seen workers take their hands off and put their back to a child on the changing table while changing them to look for items. I've seen ones children given paint and paper plates to paint on while they were put in a high chair. I pointed out that something made them think it was their snack and not food since they were shoving it in their mouths. Finally, I've even seen a one slapped for fidgeting with the high chair tray. I told the other teacher to take the tray if it bothered her. She said "she has to learn." The sad number of "they have to learn" forcing them to learn things they should be learning in 2 or 3 years not how from various staff and directors from different daycares make me so sad for children.
If the mom is high powered making over 50k a year, hire a nanny, stagger schedules with your spouse so you can hire a part time nanny. The only daycares where they can pay well enough to be picky and hire those that know child development is really Headstart, a government program for poor kids. I've applied to and toured church daycares and preschools. Those seem pretty decent. The Waldorf preschool also seems decent.
Thank you for your insights. I hope the point of my video is found to be that it is best for a parent to stay home with the child. A loving parent is the very best care they will ever receive and children deserve the best.
2 months later and I'm back. I just worked at a place where they napped babies with bottles in their mouths. @@MommyAnswerLady
@@analyticalchick3064 Did the bottles have water in them or milk/juice?
I agree 100 percent thanks so much for your honest review I personally don't agree putting a child in daycare period
I feel sending kids to day care for few(3-4) hours a day helps them interact with other kids and gives you a break and take rest and also you wint miss them much and still van teach them through out the day and enjoy the milestones.
I believe I mentioned that pretty much at the beginning of this video. This video is intended to be about full-time daycare full-time.
Almost my whole childhood was spent in daycare. Including summer break. I was forced to throw away my youth in a child kennel. But I cant bring this up to my parents because i know theyll just gaslight me like they always have.
I’m sorry to hear that.
I am a homemaker and I am so glad that I am home to enjoy and raise my 6 month old baby boy and help my husband. I grew up in a home daycare ran by my mom and know others who own/ed daycare centers and I know all too well the things you’ve mentioned.
You are a wonderful human being! Thank you for your honesty, it is so valued! I value it, and it just boosts my self-awareness and my belief in myself! I always reflected on all these aspects, and even noticed downward trends of how it was affecting my kid more negatively, than positively! Unfortunately, the father of the child is of complete opposite make. He chooses to blindly believe in the opinion of the majority even when the negative sides are loud and obvious in his face! I hope I will live long to be able to help my child grow a happy and a healthy person! I love him so much!
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. I appreciate it! Blessings to you!
Sometimes it's just not possible for a relative to watch them .these days it's just not possible for anyone to live on one income. I have worked in childcare for 34 years and I look at as an adventure for teaching.
@@kristink5884
Well that just isn’t true. Lots of families live on one income. Lots. It’s a matter of choices and priorities.
Thank you for your comment.
It was always difficult to be on one income...it's all about choices and priorities.
Thank you for your amazing video, i live in europe and i quit my corporate job and started a half time business at home to be with my daughter as much as possible . Since she is 18 months she goes 3 hours per day to a very small daycare (ratio 3 to 1), very nice staff , lots of montessori and outdoor activities, when she cried they call me and let me come to see her or pick her up. Her nap time and the rest of her day is with me always. I was able to breastfeed until 2,5 years old. She is now almost 3 years old and very happy to go see her friends and do the activities for 3 hours each day but if i have to do it all over again i will not put her there before the age of 2. I hope these 3 hours per day did not harm her i still feel so guilty because i learned more about how it is important to be with our kids at this age 😢
That is amazing. Good for you! You are doing your best to spend most of her day and night with you and I know you will never regret it!
Whatever you said is true, BUT what do you suggest parents do? How are they going to make money if they do not work? Not all families can afford one parent staying home and not all families have relatives they can trust.
I appreciate your comment, but I also must say that finding creative ways to make income while one parent stays at home is the best thing to do. I know that some families struggle financially, but as explained, most of the time an adjustment in lifestyle, car, home, etc can accomodate a single income until the child is older. Sacrifice is required when raising a child and sometimes that means a smaller home, a less expensive car, adjusting work hours to allow for parental care of the child, etc.
Whatever it takes, my advice is to do it so your child will be with you while they are very young.
@@MommyAnswerLady just found you. Agree with you.. if people want to raise their kids they will find a way.
@@MommyAnswerLadyAgreed. My mother refused to be creative and was happier being a “victim of circumstances”, despite the circumstances being a result of either poor choices on her part, or being too scared to make any positive changes.
Sadly, I’ve since had to sever contact with her for my own mental health and for the good of my children not being exposed to her toxic negativity. And I’m sure she once again just sees herself as a victim of circumstances. But I’m done with that, and my husband and I are working together to teach our children to always look for the best options, even if they’re not the easy ones. And we’re doing it while I stay at home with the kids. 😊
@@FireMinstrel
I’m so glad you stay home with your children, but I’m sad to know of the severing of your relationship with your mother.
I hope you can honor her by thanking her for the good things she did even though you are aware of the bad. Your life is a way to honor her also by the way you live it.
Blessings to all of you.
I’ve worked in daycares, preschools and the US public school system. I also did not like how things were run at some facilities. I’m in the process of starting an in home daycare. My goal is to keep a very low ratio (like 2-3 kids) and give them the one-on-one attention that they need. I also found that centers aren’t alway open with parents. Staff will said “they had a great day” but I’m able to tell parents things like “they really enjoyed doing (blank) today, or we struggled with (blank) today what can I do to help they”.
Here in Japan, the law says that there must be one licensed childcare worker for every twenty 3 year olds! That ratio is so nuts to me! So there are employers who just think "because the law says that, I don't need to give them any help." That is so negligent--if one child has an accident, how can you safely watch that many kids as you help that child? I work for an international preschool and I teach the kids English, and my class had 22 kids last school year. With just me and my licensed childcare worker partner, I was too afraid to take them on walks or go to the park.
This year, I have 13 kids and I'm really looking forward to the break.
This video is eye 👁 opener for all parents who thinks the daycare are better place to leave
I completely agree with this video
I recently had very bad experience with my 18 month toddler
They left my baby crying all alone for about 30min
Without interacting with
I watched all from windows I just wanted to see how long they will leave babies attending
Caregivers are working like a machine not human touch at all
They take everything granted to do with our kids
Its just Dangerous to leave baby in daycare
I’m sorry this happened to your baby. Thank you for the comment.
I worked in a preschool, its really subjective from one person's experience to another. When you have more reliable people in your house to look after kids, then kids are likely to learn faster from the reliable adults in your house. Otherwise, daycare is a good option especially if they have a good curriculum and care for children. You have to assess the schools and teachers. Some teachers can treat children like how they are treated poorly in third world countries whereas other teachers treat the children like their own with so much care and dedication.
Thank you for your comment. My point is that children need their mom. They need her at home when they are young and the mom is the very best caregiver in nearly every circumstance. Parents want what is best? Do they want to fulfill the true needs of their children? Yes. So, full time daycare is not the best option no matter the circumstances. It may be necessary in some rare circumstances, but usually alternatives can be arranged and should be if at all possible.
Nope childcare is not good not any t now days no way
The problem is that in Europe childcare is free.
So it's very convinient for parents.
I think its very true that it's not ideal for kids.
I worked in a daycare too, everyone was very good but it's true that we couldn't truly attend all those kids at once.
I have kindergarten across the road from where I live I see 2 and 3 yr olds being dropped off a 6am and it's still pitch black and picked up at 6pm that's along time for toddler. Some there that long they don't want to go home
That is so very sad.
Granny nanny here. Parents need to be grateful for help not just expect it.
I totally agree. As a grandmother, it is not necessarily our job to do daycare for our grandchildren. But, if you do, you deserve all the praise and gratitude that should come with it. It is the parents' job to raise their children and the grandparents are supposed to be there to support and help when they can. But they are not obligated to raise their grandchild if the parents are capable to do so. And not because the parents are selfish and want a bigger house or fancier car. The best place for a child to be is in the daily care and nurture of their own loving parents.
Very true time goes by so fast my children won't be little forever and working at the daycare they go to is what I've been doing since I've had my first child but some daycare owners I feel are in it strictly for and not for the ECE part of the business.
Thank you for this video. Unfortunately, my daughter is in daycare (single parent). Just this week she has been hit and bitten by other kids and now she is more aggressive.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Seek another care situation. She is being abused by other children and that isn’t acceptable.
❤ You got this mama. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. I agree that you should seek an alternative daycare situation :/ obviously there are better and worse places out there, but I know it’s easier said than done. I was a single mother for a while and I know how blessed I was to have family support. It’s not an easy path and my prayers go out to you! ❤️
I'm sorry this has happened to your child. It's not right. While it could be a case of neglect on the part of the care providers it's most likely due to the provider/child ratio. I've worked in daycare for several years and no matter how hard you try, it's impossible to catch everything with that many children solely in your care, especially while you're expected to do other tasks. For example: imagine you are in charge of 5 toddlers and it's time for diaper changes. You're in the middle of changing a child and there are 4 other toddlers in the room. Even if you've given each child an activity to do before you begin, they can still get into trouble (ex: biting another child). It has been my opinion for years (and co workers have agreed) that the ratios are wrong. Current ratios are as follows:
Infants 1 to 3
Toddlers 1 to 5
Preschoolers 1 to 8
I feel, there should always be 2 providers in the room due to the scenario mentioned above and others similar to it. Child care regulations definitely need to be updated and changed to benefit the children.
I’m so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. ❤❤❤ It’s often taught to us to suppress healthy anger, I hope you guys can find some outlets to let it out. Teach your kids it’s ok to tell the other kids off/ block their abusive behaviors with the help of their parents and the staff. ❤ It’s not fair that she’s having to stand up for herself this young, I hope this video helped you feel empowered too.
As an expecting first-time mom, cannot agree more with you 💙. Thanks for sharing your POV and experience ✨
I completely agree with everything you've said. Trusting school systems is not good either. If I had known then what I understand now about government mind control programming/abuse within many daycares and schools systems in addition to even much more simple things, there's no way I would have sent my children to school. I lived in a small community and knew most of the teachers well, but things still happened that I didn't know about and found very disturbing when I realized what had taken place---for example, the reading of Harry Potter together as a class!!
Thank you for your comment and kind words. 😊
Excellent video! It is God’s will for women to be home with their children (Titus 2 and Proverbs 31). Thank you for sharing and God bless you.
Many, many, many children thrive in a properly run Day Care setting! Parents, it’s up to you to do your homework when checking out child care for your little one. In the right Day Care, children can absolutely flourish in all of their developmental domains. Clumping all child care Centers in the same sub standard category is unfair & highly assumed. Parents NEED to be picky, do their own research on a child Care facility, read reviews, ask for educational backgrounds of employees, ask about curriculum, etc. The right Day Care Center can help your child flourish above & beyond their educational & developmental years! There are great child Care Centers & horrible Child Care Centers. There are also great home experiences for little ones & horrible home experiences for little ones. 0:15
The point of this video is not saying whether or not any daycare situation is good or bad necessarily. Obviously there are bad daycare centers, and it is very difficult to tell what is actually happening to a child during the day when you were not there.
But the point is that it is better for a child to be with their parent during the day. Like I said in the video, a few hours a few times a week is totally fine. But full-time daycare is not fine and not the best thing for a child. There is no doubt about that. Statistics just show it to be generally true.
And you don’t need statistics to know it. It’s common sense.
Thrive with out there parents or a parent uhh ya no 😂
Even though it is a struggle as a single mom, I have refused to put my children into daycare. I only get jobs that work around my child's needs to ensure they get more of my time than anyone else. Being a mom is the best and i wouldnt trade it for anything.
You are a very good example!
Thank you for your honest video, it makes so much sense what you are saying.
My daughter is going to be putting her ten-month-old in daycare, she has a career as a lawyer she also has a partner who is on a good remuneration. So I don't understand.
I would love to look after my granddaughter but it's not possible, bc I live too far away.
I've aired my opinion that I'm not happy with this. After all, my daughter didn't go to nursery,
My ex-husband said that I should be supporting her and not making her feel guilty, but underneath I feel so upset with it all.
My granddaughter isn't even talking or walking yet.
Be honest with her. Kind but honest. Send her this video. Hopefully she will listen. She will be sorry if she doesn’t.
I will never understand how some people leave their children to daycare never
For what i know in America also there were joint families and grandparents used to help raise children
This Hyper individualism gonna reach my country too its sickening
What country do you live in?
I’m looking into doing back office with my job, because my daughter (2y 7m) she been having tantrums and I feel as a mom something is going wrong..my husband saying opposite but I’m standing my ground and taking her out of school permanently
Look up tantrums on this channel. She needs you. At home with her. She needs eye to eye time at least 2-3 times a day. And she needs training to learn to behave. You can do this!
I used to volunteer for a daycare
I Eyewitness child abuse and yes I reported to the manager but She never fire the teacher I was so upset I had to reported to my job program SCC it saw teenagers how to become adults getting ready for the new world....
Am a person who deal with PTSD
I told my teacher what happened
And I didn't want to volunteer there no longer
One mile from my job a Day Care operates. The kids are super young. What a sin to watch late model cars come & go collecting the kids. BMWs........Mercedes......Lexus......I saw a Land Ranger pull out recently. It still had the brand new temporary cardboard license plate. That's a $120K auto. Shameful. Their kids will be a mess.
It is sad when people don’t recognize where their priorities should be and how that hurts their children. Sad for them and their kids.
I dropped off a child at a public school several times and was thinking the same thing. Look at all these expensive automobiles and your sending your child here for quality education 😮
Thank you so much to you for saying these right things! I share these values and do it, empirically!
Everyone should home educate their children if they can, if they cant maybe let the grandparents or babysitters look after them
I agree for little ones especially.
@@MommyAnswerLady :)
and if they don't have family close by what they are suppose to do?
@@tangoingthekitchen
My job is to tell parents what I believe is best. What’s best is to have their children at home with them. That’s what’s best for the child.
I cannot answer every family’s own dilemmas.
First, one parent stay home. That’s the answer. Adjust living standards if necessary.
They are single and can’t?
Do you mean they don’t have family close by but they do in another location? Ok. Move.
Do you mean they don’t have family period? Ok, see what arrangements can be made with another parent by exchanging services with them and adjusting schedules.
Work fewer hours. Adjust standard of living. Take in children and create a part time daycare in your own home so you can stay home with your child.
Idk each person’s situation. There is no way I could. All I can do is lay out what is best for the child. The rest is up yo each parent.
There will be situations where a parent truly has no choice. But those situations are much more rare than the number of children in full-time daycare now.
@@tangoingthekitchen family is just a plane ticket away. its just a matter of priorities
I had no choice but to send my child to daycare. I wish my wife can be a stay home Wife, but I can’t afford it. One day I will. My baby was born Dec. 2019, she haven’t been around anyone until her birthday and Christmas. 2021, we still kind of stayed separated because of the pandemic, but her grandmas and cousins came to our house here and there. She still wasn’t around a lot of kids then. Fall 2021, we tried the daycare route, she had a bruised eye her 3rd day. So we stopped, her grandmas took turns watching her, but it was taking a toll on them because they were up in age. So a few weeks ago today, we tried it again, so far so good, but I’ve been a nervous wreck since yesterday, they told me my daughter not interacting with other kids. She interacts with the tv, she say her numbers and colors. I believe its because she doesn’t want to be there, because she use to cry every time I leave her there. It’s scary, because I’ve been looking into autism symptoms since I picked her up yesterday.
I’m sorry you are struggling. But like I said in the video--look at the cost of daycare including extra car, gas, insurance, daycare fees, etc.
You can do it with one income if you really try!
Mom can also find ways to work from home doing a home business. There are lots of ways to make money on the side.
Prayers for you and blessings. I’m so glad you commented. 😊
The TV and screens is causing the lack of interaction. Look up virtual autism.
Thanks for this, been a great help!
Thank you for the video ❤❤❤
The book is The Two Income Trap.
Thank you!!!
I work at a daycare center and we have a lot of kids that hit. We don’t know what to do.
This is a plan to work on with the child.
th-cam.com/video/k6eY3qR3EZc/w-d-xo.htmlsi=Mq0tLj_HtshfEvZL
This is what to do when they hit.
th-cam.com/video/jZEc4MZx5ds/w-d-xo.htmlsi=_hE7iog4LB5zs3U5
Show all childcare workers both videos and show parents so everyone will be on the sane page.
This is so true. And/but we live in a hugely different world than when i was that age. A lot of moms were home so kids were just able to play with other kids in the neighborhood back then(1960s). The moms sometimes visited with each other while the kids played. If more people would be better at choosing and staying with a marriage partner, there would be much less need for full time daycare.
I understand your point. The choices we make will affect our children. This is one of the ramifications of taking the marriage vows lightly and accepting sex outside of marriage as the norm.
All these things cause problems for the society and that hurts children in the long run.
I’ve been a dedicated childcare provider for decades now. I even owned & personally operated my home daycare prior to the pandemic. Most childcare providers should be mandated to take psychological & drug/alcohol exams on an annual basis to say the least.
This will help “weed”out the providers that honestly LOVE to care and teach our young babies. MOST providers are Child Providers because of the comfort at home and the MONEY.
Thank you for your input. I want to make clear that I agree with you about screenings and that they should be mandatory.
I also believe there are very caring daycare workers. I also think it is fine for there to be daycare facilities available for those who really need it because there is no alternative of family - a one income home, etc. , although I prefer church based.
I'm curious. Do you agree that it is not best for a child to be in fulltime daycare? That it is better if they are part time and spend more time with their moms?
It’s crazy how many people pressure me into sending my toddler to preschool!
Do the right thing regardless of pressure!
Do what's best for your kids. It can be challenging but rewarding if you are intentional about raising your kids.
I really hate what feminism has done to our society. I’ve had more feminists Christian’s pressure me into working just because we’re poor. Even my husband wants me to make ends meet but also be full time stay at home wife. It’s almost impossible to do both. I work just part time at night and I hate that I’m not fully there for my kid because I'm so tired
I’m so sorry you are in that situation. Your husband should be the provider and it isn’t right for him to put that responsibility on you.
I hope you can honor him and respectfully talk to him about the problem. Maybe have him listen to this video and also the one about trad wives on this channel.
Thank you for this video. How about your thoughts on part time day care?
@@themiragereigns those thoughts are at the beginning of the video. 😊
I loved our day care! Both of my kids started at 2 years of age. They couldn't wait to get there every morning. This was a high end daycare with a phenomenal owner.
I think it was beneficial for me as well, for my own mental health. Not everyone loves to be with kids 24h/day, 7 days a week, no breaks.
It's all case by case. And think twice before you forego your career. While some relationships last for a lifetime, 50% don't.
I did not say no breaks. I make VERY clear moms needs breaks. I have whole videos about it and how it can be accomplished!
This video is talking about full time daycare. It’s not good for children to do that every day all day being away from their mothers.
I am not convinced your little 2 year old couldn’t wait to get to daycare as you drove away everyday. I believe they would prefer to be with mom and her be there for them and put them before a career.
@@MommyAnswerLady It can be accomplished, I am sure, but the whole stay at home... it just isn't for me.
The question is whether giving up a career is a wise decision. I am an attorney and I see stay at home moms who gave up their earning potential, thrown out in the cold after a divorce, or death of a spouse, or a health issue affecting their ability to earn. Some are forced to support the kids on their own, earning minimum wage and barely making ends meet. It's really heartbreaking. If that hasn't happened to you personally, congratulations, you have a great situation, but not everyone is that lucky.
@@ridleyramos7657
You have a different mindset than I do. I believe that children are the priority and should be to any parent. Any sacrifices that given to accommodate what is best for them is what should be done.
Now that my children are grown, I have still put my family as my priority. But I am doing a lot of other things, and I actually did a lot of things while my children were growing up too.
But staying home was what was best for them. And it is what’s best for all children.
I’m not writing this to you personally, but your attitude seems very selfish. I’m saying that because of others reading here. I’m not trying to attack you.
The attitude that a person wants their career in spite of children and doesn’t want to bother with staying home with children is a very selfish mindset in my view.
I know that sounds harsh and offensive. And I’m sorry that it sounds that way. But it is the truth.
I think a mother should let their children know that they are the most important thing to her. And her mind should be centered around doing what’s best for them. They are not a bother or keeping her away from her career. They ARE her career. They ARE her blessing in life and she cherishes them.
Not that they are the only things in her life! I had a lot of other things in my life, and I believe women should have other things in their life.
But those other things should never be priority. And we show our priorities by what we put first in our life.
Some people here possibly including you are going to think that is judgmental. We all make judgments about things. I am here to tell parents what I believe is best for them to be the most effective parents and the best parent they can be. So what I am saying may sound harsh to you, but it is the truth and it is what lots of parents need to know and hear.
When you leave your job, you will be easily replaced. When you leave home, you are not. If you prioritize your career, you will eventually come to regret it. And so will your children.
I agree with you up to the age of 2 to 3 y/o, but not after. I do not experience the doom you describe; our kids are thriving, well adjusted, and love school. The boy, an extrovert, experienced sudden improvement in speech and gross motor skills immediately after starting preschool. He would run to join his friends. There is something about being with his peers which can't be replaced at home, and I am glad I didn't deny him that experience. While there certainly are horror stories with preschool, so are with depriving them of peer socialization.
I have my own law practice, a partnership with another female attorney who is also a mom. We are making a difference in the life of our clients, while putting our degrees to good use. We employ 4 other people.
I wish people would accept or acknowledge other's life choices without chastising, making them feel bad, or guilt them into giving up a career they worked hard to achieve. I am happy to say I can do both, and if I can, so can anyone.
@@ridleyramos7657
You seem to not understand what I’m saying here. FULL TIME daycare. I’m talking about full-time. There is nothing wrong with a child going to some kind of program for young children for a few hours a couple of days a week.
Children have a lot of nice experiences with other children and learn to socialize well. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that depending on the facility and the circumstances.
But at the same time, full-time daycare is a whole different matter. And of course, your children will improve their motor skills and their social skills and all other skills you named. They are growing up! Of course they’re going to get better and better at those things and it won’t be because they went to daycare full time.
There are plenty of moms who have businesses and have their children at home too. If you are the owner of a business, you could work around the situation to make sure your children have more time with you than they do with daycare workers.
You choose not to do that. That is your choice and I disagree with it. And I’m not just talking to you. I’m talking to anyone reading. So don’t take my opinion so personally.
Your career is your priority. That’s a choice you are making and that is up to you. But I disagree with it and no amount of discussion here is going to change my mind.
Children are better, safer, more well adjusted, and secure in their relationship with with their parents when they stay with them during the first 5 to 6 years of life throughout their day. In fact, even after that, if they spend a lot of time with your parents versus their peers, that’s also a good thing if they have mature and loving parents.
But they do need to be with other children and it’s important. They have those activities on a regular basis so that they are well socialized as well.
What can you do if not sending your child to daycare is not an option. I have no support in staying home or relying on grandparents. So what can I do? And what if that se isn’t income is over 6 figures?
@@BlendedBarbieDoll your last question didn’t work out correctly. Possibly spell check got it? Can you rewrite so I know the whole story?
This must be below 18 months..with regards to the milestones..in canada we have generous mat leave and are home for that duration
We went into super debit having two incomes and paying for daycare.
Most of the time, it’s not only spiritually draining and damaging to a child parent relationship--it is also financially draining to do full time daycare with two incomes.
You’re such a wealth of information! I’m a single mother doing everything alone. I’m able to work from home and keep my kiddo home but must admit I’m quite tired and my work suffers. Are you ever willing to chat one on one? I’d love some guidance from you on a few things and admit I need the help.
Tell me more about this.
"I'm not big on studies they just don't make sense". Huh, that is precisely what the whole function of a study is, to make sense of a topic of interest. I just can't even finish now 😂
I think if you dug deeper into most "studies" you would see the outcome is "coincidentally" in line with the narrative that the "scientist" was hoping to promote.
There were studies showing lobotomies were beneficial, the world would end in the 1980s from overpopulation, even that smoking was good for you. For example:
"In 1937, the Philip Morris company took that one step forward with a Saturday Evening Post ad claiming doctors had conducted a study showing “when smokers changed to Philip Morris, every case of irritation cleared completely and definitely improved.” What it didn’t mention was that Philip Morris had sponsored those doctors."
Most recently, studies showed that the C19 vaccine will stop the spread of the virus as well as stop people from getting it and masks will also. All not true.
So, if you want to always trust "studies" for all your information and as soon as a new one comes out change your ideas or opinions, I suggest you will never be sure of anything.
Common sense and context have to be applied to any "scientific study" being touted at the moment. Because you never know when the next one will contradict it.
So please someone tell me what I'm supposed to do then. I am a single mother 3-year-old. How am I supposed to provide for my child and not put him in daycare? Serious question. Please answer
I'm sorry you are struggling. There is no way I can tell every person how they can handle their own personal situation as every situation is different. All I can tell you is that full time daycare is not best as I did in this video. I hope you are able to find ways to change the circumstances to best deal with what has happened that has lead to you being in these circumstances. Blessings.
Girl do what you believe you have to and trust God with the rest. I've read through so many of these comments and no one seems to have the answer. Find the best childcare service you can, try to find something with cameras so you can see from your cell phone or hire a nanny, and just pray. Y'all will be fine, I will pray for you too ❤
A M A Z I N G video!! I absolutely cannot wait to have children and I am very ready to do motherhood but I refuse to bring babies into this world if I won’t be able to be their primary and full time caregiver. And I refuse to get married, even though I am ready for that commitment, because I cannot, for the life of me marry a man that doesn’t understand every single point you made on this video and that won’t stand up and provide and make the sacrifices to allow me to stay home with our “prospective” children. I just can’t do it, I cannot fathom the possibility of not being “there” 🤷🏽♀️ They are not even born yet and I am already stressing about only spending 18 summers with them 🤣
I work as a nanny in NYC and while it provides an income that I can’t complain about, I can’t help but be sad for my nanny babies. SO MANY moms who have the financial freedom, through their partners, to stay home with their children and they STILL choose their careers over their babies. I get these children at 9 am and hand them back 5 P.M., the parents only feed them dinner and put them to bed, it breaks my heart. At the same time, I’m happy I get to be there for them because I love them as my own ❤️ and I’m thankful God has put people like you in my way that teach me how to train and bring them up as nice human beings.
I paid my way through a BA in ECE just so I could understand child development and know what to do when my time came 🥰 God knows I’m very ready, I cannot wait for my turn! Thank you for sharing all these pearls of wisdom!
You just got a new subscriber, God bless you...
i have a 2 year old and i rly dont want to send her,but i wouldnt only socialize so she would play with other kids bc i am affraid she would get shy if she didnt socialize with kids her own age,she does play with random kids on play grounds,so im happy about it.
My question is does it mentaly impact a child if it doesnt socialize from early age with the kids of same age? And if not are they going to be able to make connectionnin school if they never go to kindergarden?
And when and if should we put them in kindergarden?
ty.
@@pikabamboo4175
Thank you for asking.
Socializing is completely available in many ways. Having siblings, cousins, doing play dates with other moms, playground time, and going to church.
All these are totally valid ways to allow your child to socialize at an early age.
Daycare is not necessary and certainly not full time daycare which is what this video is about.
I’m all for homeschooling or private Christian school. I do not recommend public school anymore at this point. Starting them in private kindergarten would be reasonable at 5-6 years old but better late than too early.
Lots of learning can be easily done at home before that with play and activities that include colors, letters, letter sounds, numbers and etc.
I really appreciate your insight on your parenting videos. While I agree with your points on the issue of daycare, I think it is important to note more than just in passing, that some parents don't have a choice. And while some may not have considered every point you addressed, I think deep down they all want to spend more time with their kids than they are able and dont want someone else raising them. While I hope those who have a choice will weigh the pros and cons and make the best choice for their kids, I also don't want parents to feel guilty for having to send their child to daycare. There are many situations where daycare is the only option to avoid worse consequences. I would love to see a video on your thoughts for those who have to use daycare and how to make the most of that situation as well. Keep up the good work! More videos on non-traditional parenting, kids with special needs or behaviors, and dealing with teens would be great topics I'd appreciate and could use as a resource at work!
Thank you for your comment.
While I agree there are some situations that make daycare necessary, I believe they are more the exception than the rule.
It is the culture that has made it seem like it’s a normal thing to send kids away from their parents as soon as they are a few weeks old.
It is the culture as in the kinds cars and homes people feel they must have, the general lifestyle of material goods being a faux need and being busy means you are a significant person.
This attitude has caused exhausted parents/spouses which effects children and the family. It eventually breaks up families.
Also the culture of promiscuity and having babies without marriage. This adds to single motherhood which also puts children in a position of ending up in full time daycare.
All this is hurting our society. We need to change the mindset and make it very clear that putting children in daycare all day isn’t good. It isn’t what’s best. And we need to stop worrying that this message will make people uncomfortable--because it’s true.
I will consider your idea about another video talking about what to do if it is necessary. But the first goal in that would be to work toward making it not necessary. Thank you for the suggestion!
@@MommyAnswerLady Again I completely agree with most of what you are saying however I think you are living in a bubble if you think broken families, non-traditional families, poverty, unfortunate circumstances, social services and court involvement, etc etc are an exception! It's the sad reality. And making a video about the reasons to not put kids in daycare is not going to fix any of the above mentioned issues. All I'm trying to get across is that we need to be understanding of the fact that the world isn't made up of people in your situation. A simple preface to the video acknowledging situations where parents don't have a better choice would be much more sensitive to all viewers or a note that you are not speaking to those who are not in a two-parent, financially stable household for example. Thanks for considering!
@@ashleighregier9043
Well…I’m not living in a bubble. I am very aware of the world and the situation with those who are in circumstances that don’t allow alternatives. That is why I made clear this video is referring to 2 income families.
I’m not as concerned with being sensitive as I am with being truthful. The things I said need to be considered and priorities put in place. And when they are, many children in FULL TIME daycare don’t need to be there.
Thank you again for your comments and I really appreciate you taking time to write them to me!
@@MommyAnswerLady Ok, sorry I didn't think it was made clear. Also, according to the US Dept of Ed, in 2019, "a higher percentage of children in single-parent families than two- parent families were in weekly childcare." I wouldn't call that an exception. And that doesn't even take in to consideration all the other possible reasons. That's just my perspective on it. When parents *have* options and the choice to make, your video is a great tool for them to make an informed decision.
@@ashleighregier9043
I think I didn’t make myself clear. It’s more the exception than the rule that full time daycare is necessary. Not that there are more two income families who take their children to full time daycare.
In other words, in all households, it is more the exception than the rule that there is no other option than full time daycare. Not in just those who chose it.
But I get your point. And it is valid. Thank you for your thoughts.
I see so many parents then, after they send them to daycare all week, feel that it's a good thing for them to also "get away" together. Lol the child maybe spends a couple hours a week with them.
Sad, isn’t it?
Most of your points are valid. Personally I would not ask my parents to take care of my children while I work. They did their part raising me and now it's their time to enjoy their grandchildren, not deal with the stress of handling everything that comes with taking care of a young child. My opinion anyway. I'm a daycare worker for 14 years and I
assure you the parents whose kids are in my care want their kids to be there. They get overwhelmed with small kids at home or simply have to work and seeking help with their child from people who are highly qualified. A high quality daycare has high quality staff who provide high quality care and there are plenty out there. High quality daycares retain staff who hold each other accountable so all these scenarios you described doesn't happen. My mantra as a daycare daycare worker, don't do anything in parents' absence that you won't do in their presence ❤
I really Love your channel even though I don't have kids ❤.
That’s very sweet to say. Thank you! 😊
@@MommyAnswerLady You welcome and God bless you and your family 💓🙏
7 things out the door when you are a single mother of toddler twins working FT to provide for our little family without any assistance or goverment help!
The 7 things in this video do not become untrue because you are in a situation that causes you to need to have your children taken care of during your works hours. They are all still true.
But I do sympathize with your plight and understand your dilemma. My suggestion would be to find a way to cooperate with another mom or family you know and work out some kind of alternative. Maybe a relative can help? Maybe you can watch others children so you can be the caretaker and they pay you.
I know that isn't ideal, but it can give you the peace of mind that you are the one being with your children during the day. And, you would treat the others with love and concern.
Maybe switch off with other parents, etc. But, I do understand your problem. No matter what, all the things in this video still apply and are true. Prayers for you as you try to navigate your specific situation.
@@MommyAnswerLady Did I say they were untrue? No. I'm saying they go out the door when you are a Single Mother without friends/family around. I make a six figure salary solo and I'm not making that watching other kids. But you did say in the beginning of the video are you a two person household? No I'm not. But kuddos to all the parents able to stay home with their children. I'm an older mother, all my friends kids are in school and are focusing on their careers now, not watching friends babies for free.
@@KristinaKage It is up to you what you want to do and I hope you will consider the things said in this video. Blessings to you on your parenting journey.
@@MommyAnswerLady - If you are offering your services, let me know! I would love to have you fund my family so I can stay home. Thanks!
Thanks for the comments.
I'm a single dad and I work 10hrs a day in order to put food on table and roof over our head. I have no family to help daycare is all I got. Any other options?
Reconcile with your wife, the mother of your children, if she is still alive. If she is not, find a lovely single Christian lady who wants nothing more than to be a wife and mother. Love her and give her a home and life that most women would envy by being the husband and father you should be.
That’s the best alternatives available.
Get a career or work with ex wife
I had someone tell me they put their one year old in daycare because they want them to be independent, confident, and God-fearing. A one year old needs their parents.. the first five years of a kids life is critical for setting a foundation or they will always be influenced by peers or others.
@@Cap-l9k That kind of thinking is so disordered. Show them this video.
Great advice!
How refreshing - I'm not a mother but I cannot understand why women have children when they're just going to use daycare. A mother should be caring for their children themselves. It's either a career or motherhood.
Yes 100
That book might be Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin and Jose Domingez
What would be a gopd age for children to start school?
What kind of school?
Thts true!
Thank you so much for your advice you stopped me from mistake i was going to do by thinking of sending my baby to daycare. Thank Allah I watched your video. ❤❤❤❤
I’m so glad you didn’t do that. 💕
Excellent video
If I had to have low wage strangers paid to be a 'teacher' (not even nurturer) for my children when under 5, I'd not of had them. The joy is to see them thrive especially emotionally setting them up for life. Otherwise no point. Only about 1 in 30 workers is 20% of mary poppins or better, the rest its a chore. And why not as 40 hrs a week for probably giving what they may have never even got? Only someone who cares and is capable provides the intangible emotional care that isnt easily measured.
I work in a daycare and we treat them like our own. I don’t understand how some people who work in daycare, neglect the children if you don’t really care for kids, don’t work in a childcare environment.
@@user-wd3po8sd7k This video isn’t directed at childcare workers. It’s directed at parents. Parents should stay home with their little ones as much as possible and find relatives if at all possible if they have to work because of being a single parent. That’s the point.
No matter how loving you might be, you still aren’t their parent and there are lots of other childcare workers who aren’t loving. Thats just a fact.
What is best: Parents raise their own children. Moms stay home and raise them. That’s best.
I worked in daycare too and while it's true that we all loved the children dearly, it is physically impossible to give 4-8 babies the level of care and attention they needed. Read Being There by Erica Komisar. Daycare harms children's Brian's permanently, even the best teachers could never do enough, it's just not possible.
@@househannah333 I get how it’s hard with four or five babies and toddlers. I think one adult for every two babies or toddlers should be the rule. We only have two toddlers, about a year and a half old at our daycare, and just those two alone require constant attention.
True. Daycares are incompetent of raising children and using early childhood education is misleading as these children are not more advanced then children raised by their parents