I'm sure you've got more Bali stories that are even more wild, share them in the replies! GOLD COAST, MELBOURNE, plus many more. Come and see my live show Bruz: www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show It's about my court case.
Went to zoo with missus. Missus felt sad for the orangutan as he was alone. Orangutan took exception to this and hit he from 30ftish with a good lump or poo. I laughed. Orangutan laughed. Good times.
Went to Bali with my family when i was about 13yo old, we where walking down the Kuta strip and saw 3 absolutely wasted dudes who I assume where from Perth, they where walking around with a jar of Vegemite approaching random tourists and trying to shove their Vegemite covered fingers down their throats, as we where watching this unfold and unsuspecting goat appeared from an ally, one of the dudes then lubed up his whole fist with Vegemite, approached the goat from behind and proceeded to shove his whole fist in up the goats ass while screaming "aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi".
Went to Bali when I was about 6 years old. I don't know what I did but I peeved off my parents and they decided no dinner for you tonight. They ate b"blue cheese" sandwiches which I think where grilled. They all got food poisoning and I didn't. The rest of the time was great as I got to play games on my DS until our plane arrived. Oh, and my father was sleeping one night and a gecko above him peed directly into his mouth like Cupid into a fountain hilarious my brother and I constantly remind him of that like once a month that he has drunk piss. Great times we got a bunch of bootleg DVDs so it was worth it. Forgot to mention the monkeys decided they wanted to steal my mother's hat as well as her hair don't know why I think it was because they wanted a big sun hat and long hair?
When I was a kid, my parents took me to a VERY cheap villa in bali, literally called BINTANG. They had a son, which the owners also named BINTANG. Bintang then pissed on our porch at 4am, then bit me on the arm. I still have a scar to this day.
A resort manager in Uluatu cracked it at me for setting off little fireworks in the pool on new years while I was completely munted. I somehow negotiated it so that he'd escort me to the resort garage / parking area where I could set off some bigger ones (note still about the size of a shotgun shell). The first one I set off made whistling noises and shot little sparks for thirty seconds and then exploded so violently that that my legs and his suit were both powder burned horribly from a good eight odd meters away, every single vehicle in the car park had the alarms go off, and my (now ex) girlfriend started crying, we were all deaf, and all of my exposed skin on the front of me was leaking blood. I proceeded to hand him the rest of the bag of these terrifying things and book it back up to the main party and kept drinking for several more hours. I found two more of these I'd hidden in the teapot in our room the next morning. I wear a hearing aid now, Mwap mwap.
My mate who is tighter than a nuns nasty went for a tour around Bali, and was warned not to go to a particular bar alone, si what does he do, goes to this bar and then gets rounded up by some Balinese bikes because they wanted some money (this worked out to be about $20 Australian) but he was so tight he said no so they bashed him and took him to a warehouse where they hot branded him on the arm to try and get money, this didn’t work so they cracked the shits and just let him go. Came away with a pretty good story and a cool scar
This his why I don’t go to Bali, it’s not enough that the complete fwits there are all Nambour by the sea, it’s this fact, that they’re all tight arse reamers that will squabble over 50c like stock brokers
Never been to Bali but distinctly remember when I was passing the local Flight Centre (pre-Covid) and a tradie out front was on his phone saying 'Jonno, it's cheap as, you keen?' The flight was $109 or something on JetStar. It's cheaper to fly to Indonesia than it is to fly to Canberra.
Someone from our hostel was not allowed to take a hooker back into the dorm room and ended up getting caught with her in the bush outside, he tells everyone the story and the next day, some other bloke from our hostel gets caught getting intimate with one on some locals doorstep on CCTV, it made the Bali sun and I think he got deported
Is it a law against public intimacy or are foreigners not allowed to get with locals. I think Laos has laws surrounding foreign men getting intimate with local women. A few other countries in South East Asia could probably benefit from such laws. Would put all the passport bros in their place for sure.
@@ld5382 I think that bloke got done for the Indonesian equivalent of outraging public decency, there’s a law against sex outside marriage for anyone in Indo but the governor doesn’t enforce it. The guy chased him away from the villa when he heard it and put the CCTV on some local forums and the locals all went mad
My American understanding of Bali from this video is that it's like a cheap Hawaii except everyone treats it like it's spring break in Florida 24/7. These stories were fucking hilarious, and I can't wait for round 2
TBH sounds like Mexico pre-Cartel wars. There was a time in the not so distant past where college students would go south of the border and pull shit like this all the time.
One time i was at a pretty quiet restaurant - our table of three and one guy sitting alone. When the random guy finished, he went to the bar (attempt) to pay. He wasn't happy with the food - he ate a chicken burger - and thought he'd try his hand at bargaining on a fixed-price meal. After a shouting match, I went up to the bar and offered to cover the difference (of $3 AUD) to which he told me to 'mind my f****g business' before king hitting me square in the temple. My head hit the bar and I was unconscious before hitting the floor. My friend said the guy was swamped with locals within a minute or two and smacked with brooms and shovels. Locals followed him to his accommodation, got the police involved and he was deported the next day for skipping the bill. I've lost my sense of taste but at least i've got free nasi goreng for life
I was not expecting a yarn that started with "pirate ship party" to be one of the funniest stories I've ever heard. Laughed so hard I ran out of air and my body panicked for air. Glad even Jordies knew right away he had to do a round 2.
@eighth08 If you can believe it, that was only around half of that night. That’s why it feels very fragmented. I had to condense so much information into a somewhat cohesive paragraph.
After a couple of days of downtime from bad bali belly, I was feeling ok and ready to get back into it, went to a see mate a few hotels down and we spent the afternoon drinking and eating around the pool. At sunset, went back to our hotel to attend the weekly buffet and bali show, sitting front and center to the stage with a full crowd with our first plate of food. All of a sudden without any warning I projectile vomited over everyone, my wife, my kids, everyone else at the table and all the food. I looked around and realised everything had gone completely quiet and was the center of the everyones attention. I just got and ran away back to the room as it was about to come out the over end, covered in sick. My wife told me that after I left they sat there stunned in silence not knowing what to do. A balinese waiter then walked over and to my wife sitting at a table covered in vomit and said "do you still want this", she and the kids just cracked up laughing as they cleaned up the mess. Spent a few days quite ill after that, still the funniest memory I have from many trips to Bali.
A few years ago me and about 12 other friends from work decided to on holiday to bali and honestly the entire thing was just chaos from start to finish (we are all English and honestly we had about 2 brain cells between us so bali was just a terrible idea) first off when we arrived we went to the beach and were approached by a guy doing freehand temporary henna tattoos so we paid him to write "smoking blunts and popping cunts" across the shoulders of one of the lads and since he couldn't see it we just told him it said "I love bali" or some shit, he was so proud of his tattoo that he walked around for the rest of the day shirtless to show it off, once he realized he tried to remove it but it stayed there for the next week. A few days later this same guy got offered some edibles by a local working at our hostel, he was given the bag to take one but the hostel worker had to run away because another of our friends had just vomited in the pool. Upon his return he found out that our friend had eaten half of the bag. Hostel worker was shocked but our friend was like "oh it's fine I have weed edibles all the time in the UK this will have no effect" to which he got the reply "oh, they are not weed edibles they actually have crack in them" (it might have been ket we couldn't understand the accent) apparently he doesn't remember the rest of that night which is good because he decided to take a swim in the pool and play with the vom chunks floating in it. The morning after he was literally a zombie but we were all going surfing so he decided to join us, so he rented a surfboard (somehow) and then proceeded to put it in the surf, lie on it and fall asleep all whilst other surfers were trying to dodge him. During the holiday another lad also managed to "befriend" some members of a gang as he was trying to buy weed off them. This gang completely took advantage of him and instead sold him some very expensive charcoal in a little plastic baggy, we all had a good laugh at his expense but this friend was somehow convinced that they had done it by accident as he was now "best friends" with them. over the next few days he went back to them another 3 times to try and buy weed, each time getting little chunks of increasingly expensive charcoal. This made us all feel very sorry for him so being the great friends that we are we had a very small barbecue on the beach with his charcoal to cheer him up. About a week after all of this we were on gili air (yes I know not technically bali but close enough) and we were all on magic mushrooms, swimming in the hostel pool tripping balls, having a great time and being completely mesmerized by the colourful pool lights when one of the lasses came and joined us in the pool at this point she could barely walk or talk so swimming was completely out of the question. We gave her an inflatable rubber reindeer pool toy to keep herself afloat and went back to watching the tiles on the pool melt. After a few minutes we heard some weird mumbling noises but thought nothing of it as we thought it was probably the wildlife, that was until the reindeer pool toy floated past us. we all turned around to see a pair of lips and a nose sticking out of the pool as this lass was trying to keep herself above water, she was so fucked she had lost the use of her arms and legs and she was floating towards the deep end of the pool unable to stop herself. We swam over and had to literally push her back to the shallow end before she drowned. Later that night we also put that inflatable reindeer in another of our friends room and when he went to bed for the night it took him a good 15 mins to work out of it was actually there or if he was just tripping so hard he was imagining it. I could go on as so much stupid shit happened on this holiday but here is just a bit of a selection for you. After all of that though I'm just surprised as to how easy it is to get drugs (and charcoal) on an island where dealing is punishable by the death sentence. Bali is fucking mad.
I think it's the tourists/foreigners that it's so strict with drugs. The locals get left alone pretty much, and are sometimes in on it. Very possible that the gang were stooges for the cops. You buy a gram off them and the cops come in and arrest the tourist and give the gram back to the local. 😅
Had an aunt who went to Bali so often that she ended up teaching Indonesian in my primary school. She would always bring back tremendous amounts of bali movies and just hand them to anyone who wanted them. Also can confirm as a southwester who moved to Perth, they're like that.
I had a mate who went to a tattoo shop in bali to get the letters C U N T covered on his foot, he choose to do so with a giant pink & blue octopus whos tenticals flowed over the letters to cover them. During his tattooing i was asked by balinese friends to come see him they dropped me and what i saw was a man in immense pain, with a bright coloured blob on his foot, that he couldnt stand to have finished and cost him way to much. In the end didnt cover any of the letters. He has since begun lazer removal for both the letters & the octopus and vows never to get a tattoo again.
I was 16 on a family vacation, drinking bintangs at the swim up bar as a middle class aussie kid does. A woman let's say in her early 40s approaches me, turns out she was keen to see my hotel room. Her husband sulking on a lounge chair by the pool, I oblige her the offer. A good hour after she leaves my room as my old man walks around the corner. He didn't know what to think I could tell he was both proud and ashamed. It's been 30 years we've never spoken about it
Had been living in Bali for 10 years from when i was 4-14. At the time this happened i was 8. Mum had to go to the Atm to grab some money and i was sitting in the car waiting in the rear passenger side of the car (closest to the road), I had never seen a packet of twisties for sale in a local market in Bali. I had opened the car door without looking and next thing i saw was a old indonesian lady who must of been like 80 yrs old hitting the inside of my door with her push bike. I saw her fly over the car door in slow motion, landing on the other side of the door and sliding along the road. i got out to apologise to her and she got up and grabbed her fruit stick with a nail in it and started swinging it at me, cursing and all. i quickly got in the car and we drove away. the next day i saw her riding her bike like nothing had happened.
My mum and 15 year old sister did a bali trip, which turned out to be the best anti-drug lesson ever The hired a local to be their taxi driver around bali for their time there, and one day the taxi driver got an emergency call from a family member. Mum being the ever caring person insisted the taxi driver can go and pick up their family member. They ended up being whisked away to some backwater village as part of this "family emergency" Long story short, Driver ends up speeding to the hospital with my sister, one corpse and another ODing person having a seizure in the backseat of the taxi. Sister was obviously not enjoying the detour or experience. First thing out of mum's mouth when she came home was "Well your sister will never touch drugs haha anyway here's a bintang shirt!"
1:47 As an Indonesian that LIVES on Bali (oh, happens to be a Gojek rider, no less) THANK LORD, i never got a customer that tried the "Pass the Bintang" shenanigans. God knows how many riders already got their shit screwed entertaining the wild Aussie boys of their shenanigans, drunken or not. 6:11 Oh my Lord. F for that guy. 8:57 Jesus Christ, you guys. 50 Guys chasing a bike? What the fuck did you guys drink on that ship? *Everclear?* Also, wow. Monkey Forest *really* claimed a LOT of Aussies, eh. Cheers from Bali 👍
My family went to Bali on a getaway a couple of years back. We were at a restaurant I can’t remember the name of, but they had a sort of resident monkey family who’d hang around and generally antagonize people out on the patio. We were on the inside next to a window and while waiting for my food I watched a very overweight man get into a tug-of-war match with a comically-small monkey over a hot dog. He proceeded to lose grip on the hot dog, lose his balance, and tumble gracefully into a table of female tourists, spilling all their drinks.
7:30 I'm reminded of the woman in the USA who decided to use gorilla glue on her hair a year or two ago. In her case, she didn't have hairspray (or whatever) and thought that the glue would work for the night. It lasted far longer than a night, and she tried to sue the company for her own stupidity.
Ya, no. Even though it’s all over the place, she never tried or even said she was going to sue the company. TMZ just reported it (and most likely made it up). A plastic surgeon in LA with a background in chemistry got the gunk out for free, making up his own solvent solution.
When I was in Bali with my friends during schoolies time, I was on a GoJek home, 3 people on one bike, the rain was so heavy I literally couldn’t see 5 metres in front of me. That didn’t stop the Balinese driver doing his hardest to the limiter, think we ended up going 70km’s an hour, before he hit the brake, there was a construction site up ahead, we hit one of the barricades knocking it over. As the driver scrambles to regain control of the bike, 2 police offices come running over, one grabs my mate on the shoulder, he shurgs it off, then the driver takes off, the police run to their bikes, but luckily through a lot of alleyway driving, our GoJek loses them. Tipped him $20 because we didn’t get arrested.
Dad taught me one sentence in Indonesian when I went to Bali when I was 11. The sentence was was tiga Bintang bassar. “Three large Bintang”. I got about 12 Bintangs as an 11 year old that trip
I’ve got some bad stories from people I know. One guy crashed his bike while drunk, lied to the cops and insurance company. His injuries were so bad he had to amputate his leg and on top of that he was extradited for insurance fraud One girl had just been to Amsterdam with friends and happened to have the smallest baggie of cocaine in a camera bag that they found and is now in jail for the next 29 years
I have to two ripper stories from Bali. TLDR story 1: My dad and I went surfing a he cut his head on a reef, cut so deep we could see his skull, refused to go to hospital until a random backpacker who’s parents were doctors advised that he should get it check out. Dad ended up with 16 stitches. story 2: When I was 12 Split my chin while playing pool basketball at the hard rock Hotel in bali. Got it stitched up. 6 days later I got the stitches out and re-opened my chin after an hour, playing pool basketball, doctor came out the resort to put stitches back in, and a cleaning lady was holding the light while he put the stitches in. The cleaning lady fainted while he was putting the second to last stitch in. By the time she came back around the anaesthetic was wearing off and a I felt every bit of those last two stitches. I forgot to mention, I first split my chin on my little sisters 9th birthday and re split it on my mums 40th. Ruined both their birthdays. Story 1 extended version: While on a family holiday in Uluwatu (I was 14 at the time), my dad and I went surfing. The surf break was pretty treacherous to get to, it involved scaling over a reef at low tide and squeezing through a gap between a boulder and cliff while waves crash around you. We managed to make it out to the reef break and got a few waves in. I got my leg rope caught on the reef and got stuck under the water for what felt like forever, managed to free myself and came up pretty distressed(crying like a little bitch) Told dad I’m scared and going in, he called me a pussy. Anyways I get back to our hotel and am relaxing in the room. My dad stumbles in, white as a ghost and blood pouring out of his head. Apparently not long after I had gone in dad had misjudged the depth of the water and gone head first into the reef. The cut was so deep I could see a white patch on his head, which I’m assuming was his skull. He had no idea how he got back to the hotel, he just remembers asking some Japanese tourists for help and them just running off in horror. Dad said he was fine and just needed a shower. Mum told him we need to take him to hospital but he refused, it wasn’t until a random Spanish back-packer, who’s parents were doctors, suggested he should go to hospital, that dad agreed to get in a cab and go get a doctor to have a look at it. Dad ended up with 16 stitches in his head and face and the hospital staff was amazed he was alive and managed to remain conscious for that long. Extremely grateful my old man is still alive. Asked him a few years later if nearly dying had changed his outlook on life or what he valued, he just said nah.
I did the typical Bali thing and got a full arm sleeve tattoo. The day before we had some rough food so I sat in the tattoo chair for 10 hours whilst praying I didn’t shit my pants at every needle jab
I've never been to Bali myself but I had a classmate in highscool freshman's who went to a week long holiday to Bali in the middle of the term who upon returning literally came to school every day carrying plastic shopping bags full of random cheap items, marketing them as "exotic items from Bali" and unironically attempted selling them to random students... He later left the school entirely due to being under risk of getting suspended for calling the spanish teacher a motherf**ker due to her giving him an assignment paper.
I went to a "Classy wedding" at one of the in Bali most Expensive resort. Well, the groom decided to have his bucks party over there as well. So we decided to hire the petal bar cart. If anybody doesn't know what a pedal bar cart is it's essentially a bar set up with petals that allow you to move the cart around it is also motorised and has a driver and also to bartenders. Well the experiences supposed to go for an hour and a half and then on to the next Resort for dinner. The best thing about the package was that it was an all-you-can-drink package. So the 12 of us decided let's start at 4 pm and then head to dinner while at the same time trying to consume as much as we can on the pedal kart. So of course the challenge was on. We will all having a great time when realised Damn. We only have 15 minutes left but this is where Bali Faith comes in to play we've been drinking and talking and having a great time we hadn't realised that we hadn't been moving for at least 40 minutes and that our destination was still an hour away. We were stuck in Balinese peak-hour traffic. all I can say is if you want to drink a bar pedal kart completely dry book it at 4 pm during the weekday. Still to my day I think that's the most alcohol I've ever seen consumed in four and a half hours. By 12 people 😂
Lol. I can beat the super glue. Had a 2ft long mohawk in college I kept in a ponytail. Finally decided to put it up on St Patty's. We tried all the usual substances, glue, eggs etc. Nothing work so my buddy used acrylic varnish. What came out of it was akin to porcupine quil hair (Think of the hoverboard bad guys from Highander 2 with thicker quills). Everyone then proceeded to use paint and markers to write obscene Irish slogans on the shaved portions of my head. Next day it took an hour or two to clip/shave/bic the hardened mass off.
That toothbrush thing has been an urban legend forever. Just replace Bali with any "Third world vacation country" and you've probably heard it before. I always heard it for Cuba and the Dominican Republic.
My uncle got sunburnt on his feet so badly he couldn't walk. Blisters the size of mandarins. Was absolutely fucked. Something about Bali changes the way you react to the sun. I sunburn so easily I'll get burnt on my head through my hair in Australia but I tan in Bali. Meanwhile he had his feet turn into a frying pan complete with an egg yolk blister. I've never seen sunburn so bad in my life. I think he had to go to hospital.
In the monkey forest in Ubud. I saw an American bloke getting a selfie with a monkey on his back, until the monkey sank his teeth into the dudes bald head. He was bleeding quite a bit and threw the monkey away.
If you like crazy stories you must ask for the stories from the Australian military barracks. The stories will be wild, I promise it's a different world.
I lived in Bali for 4 years. Got kidnapped by a taxi driver in Lombok and dropped in the middle of nowhere in some village. Got caught in a raid for allegedly working without a work visa and then deported to Singapore and then may or may not have gone back to Bali the same day. Hung out with Mercedes Corby at Apache Reggae Bar. Got robbed by a gang of kids under the age of 8. 10/10 place to live. I say this with no irony, I would move back in a heartbeat.
dig this, we went sky lounge or whatever it was called... my PG mate got so drunk he was throwing up over the side of the building down on to all the parked scooters... and i mean... power yacking hard all over the tight packed scooters, bouncers came to kick him out and i managed keep him in by telling them he was the CEO of work and we were there on his wallet for a celebration.... they let us stay... he kept being the Niagara falls of the place... we were 18... CEO of what!?!
Me and my friends 3 boys and 2 women were at a hostel, where there was this balinese guy who sometimes spoke with us. Let's just say he was kind of a weird guy. He apparently did palm reading and while doing it to one of the women, he asked her if she was swedish and she told him no. He then said to her that usually swedish women smell like cheese and told her she did as well, but it was fine to him, since he liked the smell of cheese.
The stories from my families trip aren't too crazy. My parents had been heaps before when they were young and dumb but when we went it was my parents, my sister and I. Not much crazy stuff happened but my Dad is a bit of a bogan x cartoon character where he is always having whacky generic stuff happening to him. I'll dotpoint what we had happen when we were there: - Dad was paranoid of getting Bali belly and brushed his teeth with the hotel water, which he proceeded to panic and started ripping into the bottled water to wash his mouth out. - He took me to the Hard Rock cafe to which I proceeded to walk in, look around, say 'there's nothing Hard Rock about this place' and leave (it was so incredibly shit) - Our beachfront 4-star hotel had a big crack in the road and an open sewerage line exposed so everytime we tried to go for a walk we were hit with literal shit smell. - I got scammed by some kid who was asking to 'see Australian money' so I showed him a gold coin and he was very excited and asked if he could have it, so I gave it to him, only to have Dad tell me a couple of minutes when he got back from looking at crude bumper stickers, that they melt down the gold coins and use them for making shit that they then sell back to us lmao. - My Dad is an extreme cheapskate and constantly haggled with everyone he met. Him and my sister went out and on the way back Dad didn't want to pay for transport all the way back to the hotel so told me sister they would just walk because it wasn't far. It proceeded to pour down with your generic Bali tropical storm and they came back soaked and my sister pissed. - We went to a monkey temple which was actually super cool but the monkeys are all absolute assholes. My Dad sat down and went to drink from his water bottle when a baby monkey zoomed past and grabbed it from his hand like the puppies did to Homer when he was eating the chips. Also I came back with 3 Bintang singlets, Bintang shorts, 3 pairs of knock-off Converse which started falling apart as soon as I wore them, and ironically, a golden dragon which was probably made from those melted down Australian coins.
Its more a "my dad was cooked" story. But I went there for schoolies because my dad was living there after he got his share of the house when my parents got divorced. But my dad came out with me and my friends, was with him for 20 minutes and then went and got magic mushrooms. I didn't see him after that for a good 36 hours. Thinking back on it, id like to know what he got up to, but hes dead now. bugger.
My mum and some friends of hers went to Bali a while back. They were doing a drive up a rough mountain trail along mount agung and one friend bought a massive bottle of cough syrup from a pharmacy and drank the whole thing on the ride up, thinking it would make him trip. As you would expect. It did not have the desired effect and soon enough he was spewing up a horrid purple liquid. It looked like if you melted grimace from McDonald’s in a vat of acid. Safe to say he didn’t do that again. Fun times.
As an American, I recognize that most Americans are generally obnoxious tourists, but Aussies lose their goddamn minds. I didn’t even go to Bali, i went to Lombok and visited Gili Trawangan, which so many tourists in Bali take a boat to for a weekend that most people think its part of Bali. I made it one weekend before I got the hell off that island. Bunch of bogans live there illegally as diving instructors and just making it even harder for locals to make a living.
not keen on going myself but in school i knew a kid who lived in a VERY bogan family who were obsessed with bali it was this mystical special place to them. they named their border collie bintang
This happened in Lombok but close enough. Whilst watching a sunset on a hill, a pack of stray dogs spooked some girls and made them drop their meatballs, which are served in a plastic bag full of sauce. After the ensuing dog fight over the meatballs, a small dog wonders up to the plastic bag, now empty, and eats it.
Not a horror story but my dad is obsessed with Bali. Between april 2023 and 2024 he will have gone 4 times. Ive just turned 18 this year and will have been there 6 times in April. The entire back yard is Bali themed, with a hut bigger than my bedroom built from scratch, fish ponds, a bunch of buddist-style statues, incense, ect. I fucking hate bali.
was at a friends house during an earthquake. he was high off his arse. now, this being bali, the building codes are very relaxed. he walked out onto his balcony and I watched as he went to lean on the railing, only to realise a split second too late there was no railing and he fell 2 stories into the pool below and almost drowned.
i was on the beach with my dad and 2 brothers, a guy walked up to my brother (then 14) and offered him a literal crossbow. needless to say, my dad then asked him to respectfully fuck off. later that day, while my dad wasnt watching he went over to the guy and bought it. the next day, as we were packing to leave, my dad peaked in my brother's suitcase. it did not go well... oh and also the only beach near us was shit. there was a solid 3 meters of rubbish lineing the shore, and that's not mentioning the shit in the water.
So I’m getting a tattoo in Bali, and this group of guys walk in, the one next to me is absolutely spangled. Proceed’s to ask me, ‘what did you take for the pain’ I reply nothing it’s just on my wrist. Shocked he tells he’s boys ‘I’m free balling it’ he proceeds to tell me that he’s on xannies, and was on a current affair the night before for getting in a massive brawl outside one of the nightclubs. Shows me the video and yep, 4K footage him right there in the thick of it. An interesting character to say the least
I had a mate years ago that wanted to try the, "Shroom's" of Bali. The first day he fly's in puts his bags in the hotel room, speaks to a staff member, asks his question and was directed to a local café for Shroom omelettes. That evening he decided to partake of an omelette with a few beers before hitting the town. Upon his arrival back in Perth I asked him how his Bali holiday was? He takes me through the above story and he ends the story at, deciding to have a few beers and the omelette. So, what happened after the omelette? " Well mate", he said looking at me with a faraway look, I don't quite rightly know, I had that omelette that evening and I don't remember anything until I was stumbling up the stairs of the plane two weeks later on my way home!
went to bail in 2011 as a family vacation, we go to a resturant and my sister stupidly orders the spagbol which came suspiciously faster then our food and visible microwaved (still cold in some parts) after our dinner we go back to the hotel and in about 2 hours she had come down with the worst bali belly i have ever seen talking liquids from everywhere in the humid bali heat, the staff at the hotel gave me free pancakes cause i was blonde, pretty good trip.
Mm. Even 99% is underselling it. Its effectively a guaranteed horrible death. The survival rate is so low its not even really a survival rate. Its a tiny number of individual cases in which the person was effectively crippled for life in an attempt to kill the rabies before it killed them. Which is so awful that they don't even recommend doing that anymore. Not trying to one up you @namanish450, just wanted to add to it. If you show rabies symptoms, you are dead. Its just a matter of time. If you ever think you've been exposed to rabies, you need to go get a vaccination for it. If you wake up and a bat is in the house, you go get the shot. Because you can't wait for symptoms to appear. Thank fuck we don't have rabies in australia.
@@namanish450 im just saying the the survival rate with the vaccination (treatment) is almost 100% as long as you can get it soon after you are infected. I do not disagree that rabies is 99.9 if not more percent fatal if untreated.
Even now, the Indonesian tourist board is asking Australians and others to look at other tourist sites, apart from Bali. They've finally had enough of tourists turning Bali into the hell hole it is today.
Hired a dirtbike for a ride across the island from Kuta, only made it to the airport where I was detained by police...no indicators, mirrors or helmet and apparently my QLD driver's licence wasn't good enough for Bali. So my choices were wait around for a court appearance in a few weeks or pay $100AUD. I was still allowed to keep riding for the rest of the day after I paid.
Sooooo....no one thought it was weird that some guys showed up with a wheelchair to cart away the overly drunk young woman when absolutely no one asked for help? Was she seen again....well I mean, after she was auctioned off in the Middle East?
I know I'm around 10 months late, but when I went to Bali we knew where our street was because of a mural of Marilyn Monroe, Bob Marley, and Jimmy Hendrix. One night I had one too many drinks and proceeded to say "Himmy Jenrix" when talking about the mural. The bartender overheard me and everytime I walked along the beach he would yell out "HIMMY JENRIX!!" at me to the point where I couldn't walk even near that bar without the people in OTHER bars saying the same thing. Safe to say I was very embarrassed.
My girlfriend and I were at Bali in our early 20's and pretty naive. A local approached us offering scratchies, we didnt want to be rude so the wife scratch hers, got nothing, the local then proceed to hand me one from the bottom of the deck and it said I won $1000 USD. He then said we needed to get into a taxi nearby to claim my money, when he pointed to the "taxi" it was a completely black unmarked car with heavily tinted windows. Remembering I like my kidneys in my body I pushed them man down trying to get us away from him and his unmarked car when he started to get very insistive. We hurried back to the hotel where we explained to my gf's parents about the encounter they laughed and said our kidneys where safe, the car wouldve took us to a hotel where they were going to try and sell us timeshares... I honestly dont know which is worse. Not sorry for pushing old mate down to get away.
I mentioned to a Kiwi co-worker once that I'd like to visit New Zealand. She told me: "Nah, you don't want to go to New Zealand"... "Oh? Why not?". "It's full of fuckin Aussies".
Croatia is no longer cheap man, especially for us locals, my boys and I went on a trip through Amsterdam, Berlin, Brussels and Wien for less money than it would cost usto stay the same duration in Croatia
So. I'm no big bogan lad from the Perth country but more of just a lanky nerd looking dude and worse off, from Bunno. So as an easy drunk target at like I dunno, fuckin' 2AM some tiny Balinese bloke comes up to my mate and I who are completely cooked, 4 packs of LA. Ice down and easily two cartons of Bintangs and Smirnoff RTD's he asks us "Hey boss, for 100K RP, I can take photos of you and your mate for the next hour" Like an absolute sped I paid the bloke and he did exactly that. HOWEVER, I was totally wrong. 9AM the next morning rolls around and old mate winds up at my hotel door, with a stack of the photos and was like "Cheers boss, looks like you had fun" but this was in like 2019, and these weren't digital prints. These bad boys were manually processed red room photos. Look Jordan these photos are fucked cause my mate and I are completely fucked but hey. The man provided!
Gojek is basically Uber+Uber Eats combined in the one app So when the first story mentioned being on Gojek's, they were both passengers on the back of two different scooters
Fellow victim of the super glue hair job back when I was 8-9 years old 😅 Funnily enough our method for getting it out was siphoning fuel from a scooter and then proceeding to massage my head with fuel for however long it took till the glue was out
"This is a gojek" Very clearly a guy who has rented a scooter with his date on the back. Look, I'm not mad, I liked it. But it's simply not even close to describing what a gojek is lol.
short one: had a mate who took his wife to bali for their honeymoon, they went out for dinner the first night then spent the rest of the trip in their hotel room with food poisoning.
I was in Bali 10 year or so back and was having a bit of holiday romance with a girl from Geelong. On the last night she'd been on the Vodka pretty hard and was well and truly intoxicated. Anyway we jumped on my scooter (I was only a bit tipsy). It was obviously quite difficult to ride with a drunk passenger so I was going pretty slow. She then started trying to give me a reach around right as we were going along one of the busiest areas of Kuta
My ex went to Bali at the age of 16 and came back with my initials on the webbing of her left and was rather large. My initials are RH which looked rather funny being on her left hand. Anyway, needless to say some 4 years later she got it covered up shortly after we split up with some horrible wave looking thing that if anything makes the original tattoo stand out 🤣🤣
I visited Bali about 11 years ago. Not by choice either. My Ex GF dragged me there. The place had a lovely aroma of sewerage and incense. We decided to fly home at midnight as it was cheaper. I brushed my teeth before the flight, but I forgot to use the bottled water to rinse. After we boarded the flight, I started feeling a bit bad. Then it turned into a “I need to shit out my guts” kind of event. Bali belly had struck. I though that it was over after that one trip to the bathroom. Nope. It turned into a shit-a-thon for the whole six hour flight. I must have used the aircraft dunny a dozen times. I started balling my eyes out because I couldn’t stand the fecal matter ejecting from my body. It was to the point where I was just shitting out brown water. Sums up the trip.
I'm sure you've got more Bali stories that are even more wild, share them in the replies!
GOLD COAST, MELBOURNE, plus many more. Come and see my live show Bruz: www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show
It's about my court case.
Went to zoo with missus. Missus felt sad for the orangutan as he was alone. Orangutan took exception to this and hit he from 30ftish with a good lump or poo. I laughed. Orangutan laughed. Good times.
Went to Bali with my family when i was about 13yo old, we where walking down the Kuta strip and saw 3 absolutely wasted dudes who I assume where from Perth, they where walking around with a jar of Vegemite approaching random tourists and trying to shove their Vegemite covered fingers down their throats, as we where watching this unfold and unsuspecting goat appeared from an ally, one of the dudes then lubed up his whole fist with Vegemite, approached the goat from behind and proceeded to shove his whole fist in up the goats ass while screaming "aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi".
Orangutan 🦧 was a cricketer 🏏 🔄
I went to Bali once, saw jordans mum there. I did her in the bum while drinking a bintang on me moped 🤣🤙
Went to Bali when I was about 6 years old. I don't know what I did but I peeved off my parents and they decided no dinner for you tonight. They ate b"blue cheese" sandwiches which I think where grilled. They all got food poisoning and I didn't. The rest of the time was great as I got to play games on my DS until our plane arrived. Oh, and my father was sleeping one night and a gecko above him peed directly into his mouth like Cupid into a fountain hilarious my brother and I constantly remind him of that like once a month that he has drunk piss. Great times we got a bunch of bootleg DVDs so it was worth it. Forgot to mention the monkeys decided they wanted to steal my mother's hat as well as her hair don't know why I think it was because they wanted a big sun hat and long hair?
JORDIES! Jordan Shanks! You must get a 40k Warhammer tattoo. You promised to get one at 1 million subscribers.
Bump this
Thia
A man must stand to his word. He should get it on Bali for a fat discount.
YES DO NOT LET HIM FORGET
Blood Angles insignia....
When I was a kid, my parents took me to a VERY cheap villa in bali, literally called BINTANG. They had a son, which the owners also named BINTANG. Bintang then pissed on our porch at 4am, then bit me on the arm. I still have a scar to this day.
Cheers to thar😅
A resort manager in Uluatu cracked it at me for setting off little fireworks in the pool on new years while I was completely munted. I somehow negotiated it so that he'd escort me to the resort garage / parking area where I could set off some bigger ones (note still about the size of a shotgun shell).
The first one I set off made whistling noises and shot little sparks for thirty seconds and then exploded so violently that that my legs and his suit were both powder burned horribly from a good eight odd meters away, every single vehicle in the car park had the alarms go off, and my (now ex) girlfriend started crying, we were all deaf, and all of my exposed skin on the front of me was leaking blood. I proceeded to hand him the rest of the bag of these terrifying things and book it back up to the main party and kept drinking for several more hours.
I found two more of these I'd hidden in the teapot in our room the next morning.
I wear a hearing aid now, Mwap mwap.
what a story mate
wouldn't be surprised if your GF dumped you in exchange for a psych ward after all that trauma
Bro ur cooked. Nice
@@MUSHIN_888literally cooked
Classic
My mate who is tighter than a nuns nasty went for a tour around Bali, and was warned not to go to a particular bar alone, si what does he do, goes to this bar and then gets rounded up by some Balinese bikes because they wanted some money (this worked out to be about $20 Australian) but he was so tight he said no so they bashed him and took him to a warehouse where they hot branded him on the arm to try and get money, this didn’t work so they cracked the shits and just let him go. Came away with a pretty good story and a cool scar
hell yeah
This his why I don’t go to Bali, it’s not enough that the complete fwits there are all Nambour by the sea, it’s this fact, that they’re all tight arse reamers that will squabble over 50c like stock brokers
Never been to Bali but distinctly remember when I was passing the local Flight Centre (pre-Covid) and a tradie out front was on his phone saying 'Jonno, it's cheap as, you keen?' The flight was $109 or something on JetStar. It's cheaper to fly to Indonesia than it is to fly to Canberra.
it's still cheaper to fly to bali,fly to darwin,fly back to bali and fly home ....
unless you live in the nt .....
How much you want to bet that Jonno was, in fact, keen? 🤣
@@seanmckelvey6618 probably already had his Bintang singlet ready to go
@@grumpyoldman-21 I had to check flights recently and I may as well go overseas with how expensive it is just to get the capital city 😕
Someone from our hostel was not allowed to take a hooker back into the dorm room and ended up getting caught with her in the bush outside, he tells everyone the story and the next day, some other bloke from our hostel gets caught getting intimate with one on some locals doorstep on CCTV, it made the Bali sun and I think he got deported
Free ride home…
Is it a law against public intimacy or are foreigners not allowed to get with locals. I think Laos has laws surrounding foreign men getting intimate with local women. A few other countries in South East Asia could probably benefit from such laws. Would put all the passport bros in their place for sure.
@@ld5382 it's a recent law
@@ld5382 I think that bloke got done for the Indonesian equivalent of outraging public decency, there’s a law against sex outside marriage for anyone in Indo but the governor doesn’t enforce it. The guy chased him away from the villa when he heard it and put the CCTV on some local forums and the locals all went mad
My American understanding of Bali from this video is that it's like a cheap Hawaii except everyone treats it like it's spring break in Florida 24/7. These stories were fucking hilarious, and I can't wait for round 2
Couldn't have described it better 🤣
Yeah. Its cheap enough you can literally impulse buy a ticket. Like completely unplanned. A shopping trip costs more than a ticket to Bali.
Since I live in the US west, Vegas is my Bali. Lots of shenanigans in Vegas 😂 but probably more expensive than Bali.
TBH sounds like Mexico pre-Cartel wars. There was a time in the not so distant past where college students would go south of the border and pull shit like this all the time.
It’s cheap but gotta feel 4 the real locals they get treated like shit by wanna be’s real surfers are about the only genuine people that respect Bali
One time i was at a pretty quiet restaurant - our table of three and one guy sitting alone. When the random guy finished, he went to the bar (attempt) to pay. He wasn't happy with the food - he ate a chicken burger - and thought he'd try his hand at bargaining on a fixed-price meal. After a shouting match, I went up to the bar and offered to cover the difference (of $3 AUD) to which he told me to 'mind my f****g business' before king hitting me square in the temple. My head hit the bar and I was unconscious before hitting the floor. My friend said the guy was swamped with locals within a minute or two and smacked with brooms and shovels. Locals followed him to his accommodation, got the police involved and he was deported the next day for skipping the bill. I've lost my sense of taste but at least i've got free nasi goreng for life
I was not expecting a yarn that started with "pirate ship party" to be one of the funniest stories I've ever heard. Laughed so hard I ran out of air and my body panicked for air. Glad even Jordies knew right away he had to do a round 2.
@eighth08 If you can believe it, that was only around half of that night. That’s why it feels very fragmented. I had to condense so much information into a somewhat cohesive paragraph.
@@johnlocke4715 You seem to have had a very interesting life lmao
After a couple of days of downtime from bad bali belly, I was feeling ok and ready to get back into it, went to a see mate a few hotels down and we spent the afternoon drinking and eating around the pool. At sunset, went back to our hotel to attend the weekly buffet and bali show, sitting front and center to the stage with a full crowd with our first plate of food. All of a sudden without any warning I projectile vomited over everyone, my wife, my kids, everyone else at the table and all the food. I looked around and realised everything had gone completely quiet and was the center of the everyones attention. I just got and ran away back to the room as it was about to come out the over end, covered in sick. My wife told me that after I left they sat there stunned in silence not knowing what to do. A balinese waiter then walked over and to my wife sitting at a table covered in vomit and said "do you still want this", she and the kids just cracked up laughing as they cleaned up the mess. Spent a few days quite ill after that, still the funniest memory I have from many trips to Bali.
8:40 I like how OP made a distinction between Perth and Australia.
Naturally.
A few years ago me and about 12 other friends from work decided to on holiday to bali and honestly the entire thing was just chaos from start to finish (we are all English and honestly we had about 2 brain cells between us so bali was just a terrible idea)
first off when we arrived we went to the beach and were approached by a guy doing freehand temporary henna tattoos so we paid him to write "smoking blunts and popping cunts" across the shoulders of one of the lads and since he couldn't see it we just told him it said "I love bali" or some shit, he was so proud of his tattoo that he walked around for the rest of the day shirtless to show it off, once he realized he tried to remove it but it stayed there for the next week.
A few days later this same guy got offered some edibles by a local working at our hostel, he was given the bag to take one but the hostel worker had to run away because another of our friends had just vomited in the pool. Upon his return he found out that our friend had eaten half of the bag. Hostel worker was shocked but our friend was like "oh it's fine I have weed edibles all the time in the UK this will have no effect" to which he got the reply "oh, they are not weed edibles they actually have crack in them" (it might have been ket we couldn't understand the accent) apparently he doesn't remember the rest of that night which is good because he decided to take a swim in the pool and play with the vom chunks floating in it.
The morning after he was literally a zombie but we were all going surfing so he decided to join us, so he rented a surfboard (somehow) and then proceeded to put it in the surf, lie on it and fall asleep all whilst other surfers were trying to dodge him.
During the holiday another lad also managed to "befriend" some members of a gang as he was trying to buy weed off them. This gang completely took advantage of him and instead sold him some very expensive charcoal in a little plastic baggy, we all had a good laugh at his expense but this friend was somehow convinced that they had done it by accident as he was now "best friends" with them. over the next few days he went back to them another 3 times to try and buy weed, each time getting little chunks of increasingly expensive charcoal. This made us all feel very sorry for him so being the great friends that we are we had a very small barbecue on the beach with his charcoal to cheer him up.
About a week after all of this we were on gili air (yes I know not technically bali but close enough) and we were all on magic mushrooms, swimming in the hostel pool tripping balls, having a great time and being completely mesmerized by the colourful pool lights when one of the lasses came and joined us in the pool at this point she could barely walk or talk so swimming was completely out of the question. We gave her an inflatable rubber reindeer pool toy to keep herself afloat and went back to watching the tiles on the pool melt. After a few minutes we heard some weird mumbling noises but thought nothing of it as we thought it was probably the wildlife, that was until the reindeer pool toy floated past us. we all turned around to see a pair of lips and a nose sticking out of the pool as this lass was trying to keep herself above water, she was so fucked she had lost the use of her arms and legs and she was floating towards the deep end of the pool unable to stop herself. We swam over and had to literally push her back to the shallow end before she drowned.
Later that night we also put that inflatable reindeer in another of our friends room and when he went to bed for the night it took him a good 15 mins to work out of it was actually there or if he was just tripping so hard he was imagining it.
I could go on as so much stupid shit happened on this holiday but here is just a bit of a selection for you.
After all of that though I'm just surprised as to how easy it is to get drugs (and charcoal) on an island where dealing is punishable by the death sentence.
Bali is fucking mad.
good quality charcoal i hope
I think it's the tourists/foreigners that it's so strict with drugs. The locals get left alone pretty much, and are sometimes in on it.
Very possible that the gang were stooges for the cops. You buy a gram off them and the cops come in and arrest the tourist and give the gram back to the local. 😅
@@roryasrorri701Normally you get Cali for such prices, now you get Bali charcoal bits. So strong, so tasty..
Fuck me that story had my in tears XD
This story is the funniest
Had an aunt who went to Bali so often that she ended up teaching Indonesian in my primary school. She would always bring back tremendous amounts of bali movies and just hand them to anyone who wanted them. Also can confirm as a southwester who moved to Perth, they're like that.
I had a mate who went to a tattoo shop in bali to get the letters C U N T covered on his foot, he choose to do so with a giant pink & blue octopus whos tenticals flowed over the letters to cover them. During his tattooing i was asked by balinese friends to come see him they dropped me and what i saw was a man in immense pain, with a bright coloured blob on his foot, that he couldnt stand to have finished and cost him way to much. In the end didnt cover any of the letters. He has since begun lazer removal for both the letters & the octopus and vows never to get a tattoo again.
That guy sounds like he won't be OLD enough for a Tattoo within the next 5 years :D
one time i went to bali and found my dad that left 13 years prior.
lol
I was 16 on a family vacation, drinking bintangs at the swim up bar as a middle class aussie kid does. A woman let's say in her early 40s approaches me, turns out she was keen to see my hotel room. Her husband sulking on a lounge chair by the pool, I oblige her the offer. A good hour after she leaves my room as my old man walks around the corner. He didn't know what to think I could tell he was both proud and ashamed. It's been 30 years we've never spoken about it
Huh, isn’t that technically rape, or is the age of consent like 8 in Bali?
@@Google-Username isn’t 16 age of consent in most places?
hopefully you weren't molested my guy, hope you're all good these days
stay safe bro
@@Google-Username in Australia its 16
Had been living in Bali for 10 years from when i was 4-14. At the time this happened i was 8. Mum had to go to the Atm to grab some money and i was sitting in the car waiting in the rear passenger side of the car (closest to the road), I had never seen a packet of twisties for sale in a local market in Bali. I had opened the car door without looking and next thing i saw was a old indonesian lady who must of been like 80 yrs old hitting the inside of my door with her push bike. I saw her fly over the car door in slow motion, landing on the other side of the door and sliding along the road. i got out to apologise to her and she got up and grabbed her fruit stick with a nail in it and started swinging it at me, cursing and all. i quickly got in the car and we drove away. the next day i saw her riding her bike like nothing had happened.
My mum and 15 year old sister did a bali trip, which turned out to be the best anti-drug lesson ever
The hired a local to be their taxi driver around bali for their time there, and one day the taxi driver got an emergency call from a family member. Mum being the ever caring person insisted the taxi driver can go and pick up their family member. They ended up being whisked away to some backwater village as part of this "family emergency"
Long story short, Driver ends up speeding to the hospital with my sister, one corpse and another ODing person having a seizure in the backseat of the taxi. Sister was obviously not enjoying the detour or experience.
First thing out of mum's mouth when she came home was "Well your sister will never touch drugs haha anyway here's a bintang shirt!"
Lol classy holidays in Bali with the fam, ahhh I do miss them.
They were eaten by rabid monkeys in Bali last year.
If this isn't the story Jords ends his Bali Stories pt2 video with, I'm unsubbing from his Patreon
wow that sounds… character building.
Like... an actual dead person in the car? Jesus christ
@@maildaemonnah he was on a cross not the back seat of a sedan
1:47
As an Indonesian that LIVES on Bali (oh, happens to be a Gojek rider, no less)
THANK LORD, i never got a customer that tried the "Pass the Bintang" shenanigans. God knows how many riders already got their shit screwed entertaining the wild Aussie boys of their shenanigans, drunken or not.
6:11
Oh my Lord. F for that guy.
8:57
Jesus Christ, you guys. 50 Guys chasing a bike? What the fuck did you guys drink on that ship? *Everclear?*
Also, wow. Monkey Forest *really* claimed a LOT of Aussies, eh.
Cheers from Bali 👍
That monkey story literally happened to my sister in law while we were in Cambodia. They also had a slingshot dude.
My family went to Bali on a getaway a couple of years back. We were at a restaurant I can’t remember the name of, but they had a sort of resident monkey family who’d hang around and generally antagonize people out on the patio. We were on the inside next to a window and while waiting for my food I watched a very overweight man get into a tug-of-war match with a comically-small monkey over a hot dog. He proceeded to lose grip on the hot dog, lose his balance, and tumble gracefully into a table of female tourists, spilling all their drinks.
Its scary how often I say "taxi driver trivia do you know what GOON is?"
BIG BIRD LITTLE BIRD
@@bigbrothertwwell bird is the word...
7:30 I'm reminded of the woman in the USA who decided to use gorilla glue on her hair a year or two ago. In her case, she didn't have hairspray (or whatever) and thought that the glue would work for the night. It lasted far longer than a night, and she tried to sue the company for her own stupidity.
Ya, no. Even though it’s all over the place, she never tried or even said she was going to sue the company. TMZ just reported it (and most likely made it up). A plastic surgeon in LA with a background in chemistry got the gunk out for free, making up his own solvent solution.
@@GrumpyOldFart2 I stand corrected on the lawsuit part.
I think I saw that on Tiktok.
When I was in Bali with my friends during schoolies time, I was on a GoJek home, 3 people on one bike, the rain was so heavy I literally couldn’t see 5 metres in front of me. That didn’t stop the Balinese driver doing his hardest to the limiter, think we ended up going 70km’s an hour, before he hit the brake, there was a construction site up ahead, we hit one of the barricades knocking it over. As the driver scrambles to regain control of the bike, 2 police offices come running over, one grabs my mate on the shoulder, he shurgs it off, then the driver takes off, the police run to their bikes, but luckily through a lot of alleyway driving, our GoJek loses them. Tipped him $20 because we didn’t get arrested.
Dad taught me one sentence in Indonesian when I went to Bali when I was 11. The sentence was was tiga Bintang bassar. “Three large Bintang”. I got about 12 Bintangs as an 11 year old that trip
I’ve got some bad stories from people I know.
One guy crashed his bike while drunk, lied to the cops and insurance company. His injuries were so bad he had to amputate his leg and on top of that he was extradited for insurance fraud
One girl had just been to Amsterdam with friends and happened to have the smallest baggie of cocaine in a camera bag that they found and is now in jail for the next 29 years
I have to two ripper stories from Bali.
TLDR story 1:
My dad and I went surfing a he cut his head on a reef, cut so deep we could see his skull, refused to go to hospital until a random backpacker who’s parents were doctors advised that he should get it check out. Dad ended up with 16 stitches.
story 2:
When I was 12 Split my chin while playing pool basketball at the hard rock Hotel in bali. Got it stitched up. 6 days later I got the stitches out and re-opened my chin after an hour, playing pool basketball, doctor came out the resort to put stitches back in, and a cleaning lady was holding the light while he put the stitches in. The cleaning lady fainted while he was putting the second to last stitch in. By the time she came back around the anaesthetic was wearing off and a I felt every bit of those last two stitches.
I forgot to mention, I first split my chin on my little sisters 9th birthday and re split it on my mums 40th. Ruined both their birthdays.
Story 1 extended version:
While on a family holiday in Uluwatu (I was 14 at the time), my dad and I went surfing. The surf break was pretty treacherous to get to, it involved scaling over a reef at low tide and squeezing through a gap between a boulder and cliff while waves crash around you. We managed to make it out to the reef break and got a few waves in. I got my leg rope caught on the reef and got stuck under the water for what felt like forever, managed to free myself and came up pretty distressed(crying like a little bitch) Told dad I’m scared and going in, he called me a pussy. Anyways I get back to our hotel and am relaxing in the room. My dad stumbles in, white as a ghost and blood pouring out of his head. Apparently not long after I had gone in dad had misjudged the depth of the water and gone head first into the reef. The cut was so deep I could see a white patch on his head, which I’m assuming was his skull. He had no idea how he got back to the hotel, he just remembers asking some Japanese tourists for help and them just running off in horror. Dad said he was fine and just needed a shower. Mum told him we need to take him to hospital but he refused, it wasn’t until a random Spanish back-packer, who’s parents were doctors, suggested he should go to hospital, that dad agreed to get in a cab and go get a doctor to have a look at it. Dad ended up with 16 stitches in his head and face and the hospital staff was amazed he was alive and managed to remain conscious for that long. Extremely grateful my old man is still alive. Asked him a few years later if nearly dying had changed his outlook on life or what he valued, he just said nah.
I did the typical Bali thing and got a full arm sleeve tattoo. The day before we had some rough food so I sat in the tattoo chair for 10 hours whilst praying I didn’t shit my pants at every needle jab
That Bintang present bit hit too real
I just remember seeing a lot less Bintang singlets after 2020 because all the bogans were cut off from their supply due to the travel restrictions.
How good was COVID in Bali for us expats haha
I've never been to Bali myself but I had a classmate in highscool freshman's who went to a week long holiday to Bali in the middle of the term who upon returning literally came to school every day carrying plastic shopping bags full of random cheap items, marketing them as "exotic items from Bali" and unironically attempted selling them to random students...
He later left the school entirely due to being under risk of getting suspended for calling the spanish teacher a motherf**ker due to her giving him an assignment paper.
I went to a "Classy wedding" at one of the in Bali most Expensive resort. Well, the groom decided to have his bucks party over there as well. So we decided to hire the petal bar cart. If anybody doesn't know what a pedal bar cart is it's essentially a bar set up with petals that allow you to move the cart around it is also motorised and has a driver and also to bartenders. Well the experiences supposed to go for an hour and a half and then on to the next Resort for dinner. The best thing about the package was that it was an all-you-can-drink package. So the 12 of us decided let's start at 4 pm and then head to dinner while at the same time trying to consume as much as we can on the pedal kart. So of course the challenge was on. We will all having a great time when realised Damn. We only have 15 minutes left but this is where Bali Faith comes in to play we've been drinking and talking and having a great time we hadn't realised that we hadn't been moving for at least 40 minutes and that our destination was still an hour away. We were stuck in Balinese peak-hour traffic. all I can say is if you want to drink a bar pedal kart completely dry book it at 4 pm during the weekday. Still to my day I think that's the most alcohol I've ever seen consumed in four and a half hours. By 12 people 😂
Lol. I can beat the super glue. Had a 2ft long mohawk in college I kept in a ponytail. Finally decided to put it up on St Patty's. We tried all the usual substances, glue, eggs etc. Nothing work so my buddy used acrylic varnish. What came out of it was akin to porcupine quil hair (Think of the hoverboard bad guys from Highander 2 with thicker quills). Everyone then proceeded to use paint and markers to write obscene Irish slogans on the shaved portions of my head.
Next day it took an hour or two to clip/shave/bic the hardened mass off.
That toothbrush thing has been an urban legend forever. Just replace Bali with any "Third world vacation country" and you've probably heard it before. I always heard it for Cuba and the Dominican Republic.
My uncle got sunburnt on his feet so badly he couldn't walk. Blisters the size of mandarins. Was absolutely fucked. Something about Bali changes the way you react to the sun. I sunburn so easily I'll get burnt on my head through my hair in Australia but I tan in Bali. Meanwhile he had his feet turn into a frying pan complete with an egg yolk blister. I've never seen sunburn so bad in my life. I think he had to go to hospital.
In the monkey forest in Ubud. I saw an American bloke getting a selfie with a monkey on his back, until the monkey sank his teeth into the dudes bald head. He was bleeding quite a bit and threw the monkey away.
If you like crazy stories you must ask for the stories from the Australian military barracks. The stories will be wild, I promise it's a different world.
australians in general are like a different breed of ascended man i watch in awe from my couch in texas
I lived in Bali for 4 years. Got kidnapped by a taxi driver in Lombok and dropped in the middle of nowhere in some village. Got caught in a raid for allegedly working without a work visa and then deported to Singapore and then may or may not have gone back to Bali the same day. Hung out with Mercedes Corby at Apache Reggae Bar. Got robbed by a gang of kids under the age of 8.
10/10 place to live. I say this with no irony, I would move back in a heartbeat.
dig this, we went sky lounge or whatever it was called... my PG mate got so drunk he was throwing up over the side of the building down on to all the parked scooters... and i mean... power yacking hard all over the tight packed scooters, bouncers came to kick him out and i managed keep him in by telling them he was the CEO of work and we were there on his wallet for a celebration.... they let us stay... he kept being the Niagara falls of the place... we were 18... CEO of what!?!
Me and my friends 3 boys and 2 women were at a hostel, where there was this balinese guy who sometimes spoke with us. Let's just say he was kind of a weird guy. He apparently did palm reading and while doing it to one of the women, he asked her if she was swedish and she told him no. He then said to her that usually swedish women smell like cheese and told her she did as well, but it was fine to him, since he liked the smell of cheese.
one of the worst flirting I've ever heard of
The stories from my families trip aren't too crazy. My parents had been heaps before when they were young and dumb but when we went it was my parents, my sister and I. Not much crazy stuff happened but my Dad is a bit of a bogan x cartoon character where he is always having whacky generic stuff happening to him. I'll dotpoint what we had happen when we were there:
- Dad was paranoid of getting Bali belly and brushed his teeth with the hotel water, which he proceeded to panic and started ripping into the bottled water to wash his mouth out.
- He took me to the Hard Rock cafe to which I proceeded to walk in, look around, say 'there's nothing Hard Rock about this place' and leave (it was so incredibly shit)
- Our beachfront 4-star hotel had a big crack in the road and an open sewerage line exposed so everytime we tried to go for a walk we were hit with literal shit smell.
- I got scammed by some kid who was asking to 'see Australian money' so I showed him a gold coin and he was very excited and asked if he could have it, so I gave it to him, only to have Dad tell me a couple of minutes when he got back from looking at crude bumper stickers, that they melt down the gold coins and use them for making shit that they then sell back to us lmao.
- My Dad is an extreme cheapskate and constantly haggled with everyone he met. Him and my sister went out and on the way back Dad didn't want to pay for transport all the way back to the hotel so told me sister they would just walk because it wasn't far. It proceeded to pour down with your generic Bali tropical storm and they came back soaked and my sister pissed.
- We went to a monkey temple which was actually super cool but the monkeys are all absolute assholes. My Dad sat down and went to drink from his water bottle when a baby monkey zoomed past and grabbed it from his hand like the puppies did to Homer when he was eating the chips.
Also I came back with 3 Bintang singlets, Bintang shorts, 3 pairs of knock-off Converse which started falling apart as soon as I wore them, and ironically, a golden dragon which was probably made from those melted down Australian coins.
Its more a "my dad was cooked" story. But I went there for schoolies because my dad was living there after he got his share of the house when my parents got divorced. But my dad came out with me and my friends, was with him for 20 minutes and then went and got magic mushrooms. I didn't see him after that for a good 36 hours. Thinking back on it, id like to know what he got up to, but hes dead now. bugger.
Was it the mushrooms that killed your dad? You said you didn't see him for 36 hours, you never did specify he was alive or not when you did though
My mum and some friends of hers went to Bali a while back. They were doing a drive up a rough mountain trail along mount agung and one friend bought a massive bottle of cough syrup from a pharmacy and drank the whole thing on the ride up, thinking it would make him trip. As you would expect. It did not have the desired effect and soon enough he was spewing up a horrid purple liquid. It looked like if you melted grimace from McDonald’s in a vat of acid. Safe to say he didn’t do that again.
Fun times.
As an American, I recognize that most Americans are generally obnoxious tourists, but Aussies lose their goddamn minds. I didn’t even go to Bali, i went to Lombok and visited Gili Trawangan, which so many tourists in Bali take a boat to for a weekend that most people think its part of Bali. I made it one weekend before I got the hell off that island. Bunch of bogans live there illegally as diving instructors and just making it even harder for locals to make a living.
not keen on going myself but in school i knew a kid who lived in a VERY bogan family who were obsessed with bali it was this mystical special place to them. they named their border collie bintang
love all theses stories that people are sending you Jordie I get a good laugh out of them these videos are hilarious looking forward to seeing more
This happened in Lombok but close enough. Whilst watching a sunset on a hill, a pack of stray dogs spooked some girls and made them drop their meatballs, which are served in a plastic bag full of sauce. After the ensuing dog fight over the meatballs, a small dog wonders up to the plastic bag, now empty, and eats it.
nooooooooooo-
Not a horror story but my dad is obsessed with Bali. Between april 2023 and 2024 he will have gone 4 times. Ive just turned 18 this year and will have been there 6 times in April. The entire back yard is Bali themed, with a hut bigger than my bedroom built from scratch, fish ponds, a bunch of buddist-style statues, incense, ect.
I fucking hate bali.
Did you check if you were conceived on Bali?
We will send you Bebek Betutu so you can hate Bali more
My tip.
Your dad probably says he is going over there for "business* but the only business is what you he pays for some lovin'.
@@dhenderson1810 considering he goes there with my mum, and specifically for holidays, I doubt that
was at a friends house during an earthquake. he was high off his arse. now, this being bali, the building codes are very relaxed. he walked out onto his balcony and I watched as he went to lean on the railing, only to realise a split second too late there was no railing and he fell 2 stories into the pool below and almost drowned.
i was on the beach with my dad and 2 brothers, a guy walked up to my brother (then 14) and offered him a literal crossbow.
needless to say, my dad then asked him to respectfully fuck off.
later that day, while my dad wasnt watching he went over to the guy and bought it. the next day, as we were packing to leave, my dad peaked in my brother's suitcase. it did not go well...
oh and also the only beach near us was shit. there was a solid 3 meters of rubbish lineing the shore, and that's not mentioning the shit in the water.
So I’m getting a tattoo in Bali, and this group of guys walk in, the one next to me is absolutely spangled. Proceed’s to ask me, ‘what did you take for the pain’ I reply nothing it’s just on my wrist. Shocked he tells he’s boys ‘I’m free balling it’ he proceeds to tell me that he’s on xannies, and was on a current affair the night before for getting in a massive brawl outside one of the nightclubs. Shows me the video and yep, 4K footage him right there in the thick of it. An interesting character to say the least
8:21 if one piece was Australian
You should do Thailand stories next. That place is crazy
Don't forget Saturday nights in Cessnock NSW! 😅
@@jimmyboydonald6578 bruh what happens in Cessnock? 😆
the toothbrush story has been all over the world. I doubt it's real, my dad told me it when I was a kid on holiday in spain 20+ years ago
I had a mate years ago that wanted to try the, "Shroom's" of Bali. The first day he fly's in puts his bags in the hotel room, speaks to a staff member, asks his question and was directed to a local café for Shroom omelettes. That evening he decided to partake of an omelette with a few beers before hitting the town. Upon his arrival back in Perth I asked him how his Bali holiday was? He takes me through the above story and he ends the story at, deciding to have a few beers and the omelette. So, what happened after the omelette? " Well mate", he said looking at me with a faraway look, I don't quite rightly know, I had that omelette that evening and I don't remember anything until I was stumbling up the stairs of the plane two weeks later on my way home!
went to bail in 2011 as a family vacation, we go to a resturant and my sister stupidly orders the spagbol which came suspiciously faster then our food and visible microwaved (still cold in some parts) after our dinner we go back to the hotel and in about 2 hours she had come down with the worst bali belly i have ever seen talking liquids from everywhere in the humid bali heat, the staff at the hotel gave me free pancakes cause i was blonde, pretty good trip.
9:33 I really love Australians
Jordie really understated Rabies, the death rate for Rabies is like 99% its basically a death sentence.
Only after symptoms show. It can be treated if you do it before symptoms appear
@@troublemonkey1_626 with a vaccination, but most people aren't so lucky.
Mm. Even 99% is underselling it. Its effectively a guaranteed horrible death. The survival rate is so low its not even really a survival rate. Its a tiny number of individual cases in which the person was effectively crippled for life in an attempt to kill the rabies before it killed them. Which is so awful that they don't even recommend doing that anymore. Not trying to one up you @namanish450, just wanted to add to it.
If you show rabies symptoms, you are dead. Its just a matter of time. If you ever think you've been exposed to rabies, you need to go get a vaccination for it. If you wake up and a bat is in the house, you go get the shot. Because you can't wait for symptoms to appear. Thank fuck we don't have rabies in australia.
@@namanish450 im just saying the the survival rate with the vaccination (treatment) is almost 100% as long as you can get it soon after you are infected. I do not disagree that rabies is 99.9 if not more percent fatal if untreated.
Rabies = God's punishment for having shit toilets for tourists.
7:03 no one tell em about acetone.
Even now, the Indonesian tourist board is asking Australians and others to look at other tourist sites, apart from Bali. They've finally had enough of tourists turning Bali into the hell hole it is today.
The old Bali video was what made me a fan to begin with! It's coming full circle
Hired a dirtbike for a ride across the island from Kuta, only made it to the airport where I was detained by police...no indicators, mirrors or helmet and apparently my QLD driver's licence wasn't good enough for Bali. So my choices were wait around for a court appearance in a few weeks or pay $100AUD. I was still allowed to keep riding for the rest of the day after I paid.
Time to book a ticket, still yet to obtain a trusty Bintang tank
Sooooo....no one thought it was weird that some guys showed up with a wheelchair to cart away the overly drunk young woman when absolutely no one asked for help? Was she seen again....well I mean, after she was auctioned off in the Middle East?
middle east is way too far dude, i say bangkok
"Bali is australia if it were allowed to be Australia". Soooo so true.
You could respond to every single story in this video with, "Well, what did you expect? It's Bali."
Went to Bali when i was like 10-11. Got offered a lil girl prostitute after my old man turned down a adult one from the same bloke
I know I'm around 10 months late, but when I went to Bali we knew where our street was because of a mural of Marilyn Monroe, Bob Marley, and Jimmy Hendrix. One night I had one too many drinks and proceeded to say "Himmy Jenrix" when talking about the mural. The bartender overheard me and everytime I walked along the beach he would yell out "HIMMY JENRIX!!" at me to the point where I couldn't walk even near that bar without the people in OTHER bars saying the same thing. Safe to say I was very embarrassed.
My girlfriend and I were at Bali in our early 20's and pretty naive. A local approached us offering scratchies, we didnt want to be rude so the wife scratch hers, got nothing, the local then proceed to hand me one from the bottom of the deck and it said I won $1000 USD. He then said we needed to get into a taxi nearby to claim my money, when he pointed to the "taxi" it was a completely black unmarked car with heavily tinted windows.
Remembering I like my kidneys in my body I pushed them man down trying to get us away from him and his unmarked car when he started to get very insistive.
We hurried back to the hotel where we explained to my gf's parents about the encounter they laughed and said our kidneys where safe, the car wouldve took us to a hotel where they were going to try and sell us timeshares... I honestly dont know which is worse. Not sorry for pushing old mate down to get away.
I mentioned to a Kiwi co-worker once that I'd like to visit New Zealand. She told me: "Nah, you don't want to go to New Zealand"... "Oh? Why not?". "It's full of fuckin Aussies".
In Bali right now. Traveled 30 hours to get here. I know one thing for sure, im never going to Australia
Croatia is no longer cheap man, especially for us locals, my boys and I went on a trip through Amsterdam, Berlin, Brussels and Wien for less money than it would cost usto stay the same duration in Croatia
That guy on the scooter has always been my hero
So. I'm no big bogan lad from the Perth country but more of just a lanky nerd looking dude and worse off, from Bunno.
So as an easy drunk target at like I dunno, fuckin' 2AM some tiny Balinese bloke comes up to my mate and I who are completely cooked, 4 packs of LA. Ice down and easily two cartons of Bintangs and Smirnoff RTD's he asks us "Hey boss, for 100K RP, I can take photos of you and your mate for the next hour" Like an absolute sped I paid the bloke and he did exactly that.
HOWEVER, I was totally wrong. 9AM the next morning rolls around and old mate winds up at my hotel door, with a stack of the photos and was like "Cheers boss, looks like you had fun" but this was in like 2019, and these weren't digital prints. These bad boys were manually processed red room photos. Look Jordan these photos are fucked cause my mate and I are completely fucked but hey. The man provided!
Sounds like a stout deal for a tenner
Fuckin right a?@@anihiluscascade
I'm just happy that the thumbnail has the "OIII BRUDDDDAAA WHOOOOP" guy on it
Gojek is basically Uber+Uber Eats combined in the one app
So when the first story mentioned being on Gojek's, they were both passengers on the back of two different scooters
You were a "The Chase" question and answer the other night!
I heard an Australian describe Bali as a place where you can do everything you are not allowed to in Australia.
Fellow victim of the super glue hair job back when I was 8-9 years old 😅
Funnily enough our method for getting it out was siphoning fuel from a scooter and then proceeding to massage my head with fuel for however long it took till the glue was out
This will be fucken gold
Edit: It was fucken gold
That pirate ship party post had me cracking up.
@ Super Glue Bloke... should have bought a can of acetone and a sponge, get the misses to dab away and the glue will dissolve.
Fucking love these videos, mate!
The sequel we needed
10:10 should of used that clip from pirates of the Caribbean where jack gets chased down the beach by tribes people
We need to hear more from the pirate ship guy!
"This is a gojek"
Very clearly a guy who has rented a scooter with his date on the back.
Look, I'm not mad, I liked it. But it's simply not even close to describing what a gojek is lol.
never been to bali but the stories paint a picture of drunk aussies chasing monkeys thinking they can acheive world peace
short one: had a mate who took his wife to bali for their honeymoon, they went out for dinner the first night then spent the rest of the trip in their hotel room with food poisoning.
Saddest thing that ever happened to me was when I grew out of my Bintang singlet.
More like Cancun unless I was in the wrong area of Bali.
I️ love how he’s laughing so hard that he turns red
I was in Bali 10 year or so back and was having a bit of holiday romance with a girl from Geelong. On the last night she'd been on the Vodka pretty hard and was well and truly intoxicated. Anyway we jumped on my scooter (I was only a bit tipsy). It was obviously quite difficult to ride with a drunk passenger so I was going pretty slow. She then started trying to give me a reach around right as we were going along one of the busiest areas of Kuta
My ex went to Bali at the age of 16 and came back with my initials on the webbing of her left and was rather large. My initials are RH which looked rather funny being on her left hand.
Anyway, needless to say some 4 years later she got it covered up shortly after we split up with some horrible wave looking thing that if anything makes the original tattoo stand out 🤣🤣
I visited Bali about 11 years ago. Not by choice either. My Ex GF dragged me there. The place had a lovely aroma of sewerage and incense. We decided to fly home at midnight as it was cheaper. I brushed my teeth before the flight, but I forgot to use the bottled water to rinse. After we boarded the flight, I started feeling a bit bad. Then it turned into a “I need to shit out my guts” kind of event. Bali belly had struck. I though that it was over after that one trip to the bathroom. Nope. It turned into a shit-a-thon for the whole six hour flight. I must have used the aircraft dunny a dozen times. I started balling my eyes out because I couldn’t stand the fecal matter ejecting from my body. It was to the point where I was just shitting out brown water. Sums up the trip.
The Gold coast advert is just spectacular 🎉😂😂😂😂
That XXXX Marrons bucket hat was a nice touch
I fell out the pool 😂😂 sprained my ankle poor little Balinese man trying to carry me up the stairs 😂😂 ahhh the memories 🎉🎉🎉😂🎉🎉
8:42 A mutiny it is then 😆