Yes, good one Susan. Just earlier this month I tried to remain in a situation that I knew in my heart was not right but thought I could possibly "train" myself to go along with it just to see if that could really work. But when disrespect on top of disrespect kept coming from that woman, I knew I couldn't keep up the experiment and had to leave. The lesson I learned from that is you should NEVER allow yourself to try and be comfortable in a uncomfortable situation. Experiment or not! Bless you!
Dear Susan, I would love to see a video about how to leave past heartbreaks behind when entering a new relationship. I was in a long relationship that ended very unexpected for me and now I am with a man that truly suits me. He is loving and caring but I seem to struggle to fully trust him. What can I do to feel more confident in my new relationship?
Excellent topic Susan! The check list certainly would be a wise move. For me, being #1 in my Partners life would be tops. In turn, I would do likewise. Wishing everyone luck in these crazy 'dating' times! Fortunately, we have a true Pro like Susan to help guide us!
Very insightful! I was with a "true love" for ten years ago couldn't give me this. He never understood. I agree it's non negotiable, at the time I had a hard time putting it into words. Until I experienced it. It sounds so selfish but it is exactly like Susan said, I could not make myself feel otherwise!
I will surely run through the checklist in my head and try to write them down before I run my head into the next one... Thank you Susan LOVE YOU so much !!! Linda
Been watching for a year now...Thank you Susan...keep helping us grow. This message was for me...had to break up with my fiance because of her disposition
There's got to be a medium in this relationship. My GF and I decided that once we're married, that I'd take care of our bills. While she wants to work part time. We're in our early 50s.
In my next cohabitation relationship, I intend on having my partner agree to split the making meals, housework at 50/50 if he wants me to share the financial load. And if he's not willing to do his part cleaning, etc., he HAS to agree to hiring a part time housekeeper to keep up with the heavy duty chores. I've been doing 80% of the housework since I was 11 years old, all the way through my late 40's in all 4 long term relationships/raising kids. Been there done that.
My ex when I was with him, expected me to move in with him and he discussed me paying rent although I had already told him I would contribute 1/2 to bills and food. I own my own house so why would I want to rent that out, to move in with him to pay rent. He said it would be unfair for me to pocket all the money from the rental of my home. WTF I thought. Seemed to me he was looking to see how he could financially benefit.
This was great news for me. I never consider myself an overly jealous person but at times I have spent time with people that just bring out the jealous bug yet with other people I feel perfectly at ease and comfortable. Now I see as you pointed out. We have to match each other's style of caring, brilliant!
Really useful and grounded. Had a similar situation recently, It ended up being a huge incompatibility and had to break up. To turn the page hurts a bit, but it is absolutely necessary for the long run. Avoid the one who is trying to deny your truths and inciting you to change.
This perfectly describes the position I recently found myself in. Luckily, I came to this realisation early on in the relationship, but this video has just confirmed even more that I made the right decision. Thank you for your wise words - they're helping to keep me sane (sort of)!
Hi Susan - ANOTHER excellent video and SO MANY TRUTHS in this one!!! So many of your videos are dead on (i.e. the one about choosing 'lesser') and they are all empowering - thank you!!!!!
Hmm interesting ..never really knew that its possible to love truly and deeply without fidelity ...I would have thought you would need both but again that's probably just me being judgy and imposing my own narrow view point. These videos are always so so good because they always give you so much to think about. I could absolutely listen to this woman for hours. She always gives you a ton of stuff to think about. 👍
Hi John. Yes, this is an interesting case. Two men that love each other- one faithful by disposition and valures, the other with a need to explore and let loose. Here's the twist. The unfaithful partner would be lost with his 'rock.' So the power to stray is more avoident behavior that defects his true feeling of vulnerability
hey Susan I did a Google search recently about Fidelity specifically with regards to men and the percentage quoted was that 93% of all men are going to have extramarital affair’s and that a lot of them feel much safer sharing with their mistress because they feel much less judged and anyway that was the basic gist of the whole long article that I read on the topic of fidelity anyhow many years ago I worked as an exotic dancer when I was young and I remember the guy who ran the club he had friends in penthouse magazine and he was always trying to get people to sign up for a photo shoot for penthouse , anyway I remember one time he told me that there’s this unspoken rule that men have that they always deny any allegations and that they never admit that they ever did anything unfaithful (like that’s just the basic unspoken rule that men have to keep up the facade regarding faithfulness) by the way my original comment was about 20 times longer than this one and I went into a whole discussion about things regarding intimacy and openness and I guess my comment was too long so there was an error and Google wouldn’t permit such a long comment to be posted anyhow I appreciate your channel Susan thank you.... basically one key comment that I would like to make is that when we pass away from this life and we’re in the spirit world we can see everything that others were thinking about us and everything we kept secret is seen therefore nothing is kept hidden for forever, only here on earth can we wear a mask and hide the truth of our being
Deborah Carroll well this is interesting commentary - not all men cheat, though that behavior stems either from the need for power, and ego boost, entitlement, or lack of appreciation. Sometimes it is just simply the human drive. As far as telling mistresses their truth, and keeping it from their spouse, the reason for that is that they feel judged. A better version of that scenario is to haveA partner with whom you can be completely honest to begin with
Susan Winter I just added onto my earlier comment I don’t know if you see the addition that I put there but my original message gave a whole long sharing about me and my life and my marriages and what not , and Google wouldn’t except the length of my comment so I ended up spending a long time going backwards and deleting most all of what I shared yet anyway who knows the reason why yet in my life and in my experience in relationships no matter how open I was or how open hearted and honest and wanting things to be revealed and transparent all of my partners no matter how open we were sexually they always had secrets that they kept of being with other people it’s just been my experience that’s all and there’s nothing I can do about it all I can do is accept that I have no control over other people at all even if I ask them to please tell me if they’re attracted to someone else and please let me know if you’re having an affair so I won’t waste years of my life etc. they’ll still do it anyway and keep the secret that’s been my experience so I am just accepting of my life and my human experiences and I’m not expecting to have that magical relationship that I always dreamed of that’s I guess basically what I wanted to say thank you for replying and I do believe you that there are a small percentage that are faithful and true .... the people who are being honest; they’re the ones being betrayed and that can happen whether you’re a man or a woman... and by the way I recently experimented and made a choice to be the mistress instead to see if there is more freedom or more fun being on the other side of the situation and I did talk to this man about the pleasure of keeping a secret and he grinned really super big with pure joy and glee about keeping a secret and I’m not going to go into psychoanalyzing this guy.... I just know there’s dark pleasure and a lot of people love having secrets over other people and yeah I know it’s controlling and control is darkness and then I’ve also heard that darkness is love that has not yet been received as love and in my journey I am seeking to be in love and be in my heart regardless of other people‘s behavior and yet I am willing to get angry and I am willing to set boundaries when I really feel the need to do that... I am willing to speak my truth yet when it comes to certain things.... I guess you could say I’m accepting my fate
@@heartwisdomlove that's because they need to mix the light with the dark. Maybe people cheat bc they need some dark but almost no one knows how to mix light and dark and be with one person.
I loved her, I realized it, accepted it with excitement and told her soon after.. sort of. Me: "I want you to know I've never felt this way about anyone before." Her: "You want to talk about us?" Me: " I'm wondering if you want to become exclusive?" Her: "I don't want to follow societies definitions of what a relationship means." Me: *confusion* We broke up 3 days later. It's been 5 months and I still grieve. How cruel to fall in love for the first time, waiting so long to find that person. Then have it ripped away.
T B I agree. It would be a wonderful story book version if most of us fell in love with someone who fell in love with us. It wasn’t that way for me my first time. And your situation is far more common than you realize. If you’d be open to it, I’d suggest you review why you valued this person so highly. Was she really your best choice?
@@SusanWinter Thanks Susan, I reflect on the relationship daily. People tell me I'm too hard on myself but I want to know in my heart every single time I did us wrong so I can avoid this pain as much as possible in the future. She was really special, but not without her own faults which I accepted. I mourn that life that will never be lived.
One of my non-negotiables is smoking cigarettes. I recently went on one date with a guy and it seems very promising. He is a great guy who is very open and communicative. He doesn't smoke cigarettes and he doesn't do drugs. He smokes marijuana occasionally. We had a long talk about it last night and he said he would stop in the future if he was with a partner/had a family who didn't want him to do that (since that is what happened with his parents). I'm still conflicted. I don't love marijuana use, however, 80% of my friends smoke and I don't view them any differently.
I was with a woman that I could tell loved me a lot but was always looking at other guys. Never made me feel safe in the relationship but she always denied doing it even though she was caught
Say for instance you want a relationship and in your head all you want is the family dynamics. The marriage the kids, you don't have a whole of of dating experience other than you know what you want how can you be sure you won't fall into relationships with narcissistic people or people with cluster B borderline
alcudiababe1 There are many people who struggle with mental health issues, knowingly and unknowingly-so the best barometer is to judge how you feel in the company of any given person
I wonder if the regular bickering or annoying habits are justifiable in asking yourself if they’re right for you. I know that nobody is perfect but if their habits make your life flash before your eyes, is that a reason to go? Is that shallow? What’s the difference between being shallow and being faithful to self happiness?
Well what I do to know if she loves me and we will possibly be able to spend the rest of our lives together is I play lower middle class. What I mean is I drive a basic cash car and wear regular clothing nothing flashy at all do regular activities etc...so than I can rule out if she's the woman who just seeks security because I'm not interested if she dosent love me for me and I love her for just who she is. I play regular citizen like I live from pay check to pay check but I have a really good passion I make money off of and I have over $40,000 saved up in the bank which is half of my year salary. That way I can rule out women who are just looking for security and not for true love because I wouldn't mind if she didn't have a high paying job just as long as she's honest and have the type of drive in life to move to the next level
Good day Mam and lovely people. I m from India Namaste 🙏 🙂 nowadays its bit scary getting married or jump into relationships for both men and women as we witness a lot of divorce cases and extra marital affairs. Seen a lot of people around me. I m born in the 80s. All I want to ask is " if we love someone Wholeheartedly and Truly....why those feelings are not reciprocated when the person knows how we feel for them. Why is it so Hard these days? Why they play such stupid Games? Unbelievable!
sometimes it is their own fear, fear of let someone really true and great to love them, fear of fall in love and knowing they can also be great and a loving person. one of greatest challenge in life is to face our truth and face our own fear, when we can not yet do that, we fall to another side of extreme or stay in lukewarm confusion. those just a small part of how i see this from the moment i read your question to Susan. Namaste
Hi Susan, I am reflecting on my last 3 relationships. They all have been angry men and not emotionally available. I dont ask for much. I am feeling like there is something wrong with me that I make them evil. I'm pretty quiet. I'm nice. It's just a pattern now. Just wondering what you think.
@@SusanWinter I am pretty passive. Never speak up for myself. I will try that. I swear I am ready to be done with relationships. I am over giving and they dont see it. They say I'm not doing enough. Thanks Susan!
@@Noir-sr5bw There is nothing wrong with you. You just have to set bounderies. See youtube videos, and i hope you learn from them. Tony Gaskins R.C. Blakes jr. Derrick Jaxn Stef Hick Bless you girl🌹
Hi Susan I really need someone to talk to. I recently told this girl how I feel and and long story short, she rejected me. However, after telling her how I really feel, she said she feels the same way and i have crossed her mind a few times. She really thinks I am a great guy. However at this point in her life she is so busy and preoccupied that if she were to be in a relationship she would be saddened that she wouldn’t be able to give the same commitment she would hope to receive. As I am experiencing similar aspects of being busy like her I would like to pose the question what if we could try when we aren’t so busy anymore?
Don't WAIT for her. Please. I urge you. (because I really feel you're tempted to do so). Matteo, I can't tell if she is being polite or dismissive from reading 4 lines of a paragraph. If you want to chat about it, I need more info. Call me on Magnifi. Either way, don't wait for her, or wait for her 'maybe.' move on. date others
Susan I’m not really sure if I have money to pay you on magnifi, I can tell you that we’re are going to graduate high school in the next few months, as we are both honours students we need good marks to get into schools. We’ve been good friends for about a year and a half. She’s very busy with a small job, school and her family while I’m busy with my part time job, hockey and family
I had a fella I felt I had a soul connection with and we became best friends and I could have wanted more. However every time I turned around he seemed to be chatting up a lovely young lady about half his age. In fairness he talked to everyone he loved to talk to anybody around him. He's a good-looking old fart and it made me feel Petty and jealous. I don't want to feel like that I'd rather be with someone that seems too keep the focus on us instead of everybody around us
I super loveee sending handwritten letters, but I have been pretty busy and have been traveling a lot lately. Good thing I came across an app where you send a text and they turn it into a pretty letter…. Let me know if you want to know what app I used :)
Can anyone help me ? My Cycle is going on 15 years now & I can’t seem to change it . I’m a very affectionate caring loving women aged 35 , men tell me I’m attractive all the time . I just want to be loved in a committed relationship. Where I feel safe & wanted . But I meet a guy we start to date , we get on great he says he’s so crazy about me & finds me so attractive & caring and with in a few weeks( longest being 6 mths )the man says he doesn’t want commitment & has no feelings for me . This has happen to me about 20 times over the past 15 years . So obviously the issue is me or personality . But I don’t know how to fix it . I cannot get any man I like to commit to me & any man to might actually want to I’m not attracted to . And when they reject me I feel worthless and feel like ending my life sometimes because I’m exhausted from all the rejection . I spend weeks crying every day feeling like dirt untill the next man comes along & does it all over again . I’ve tired being on my own & that makes me even more depressed because I’m so so so lonely . I’ve no friends & just a mom I see sometimes . All I want is someone to want me back . If you can help me break this Path or give me advice I’d really appreciate it so much , Because today is my lowest I’ve ever been at . Thank you
Sapphire Sky not really sure what you are saying . I’m not curious, I’m very down to earth kind person . I do have friends but they are all married and do couples & marriage things on weekends So even thou I see them it’s not often & I feel always to be the single one in the group . I do have really low self esteem so I guess that’s it . It’s just I wish I knew what I was doing wrong in the relationships
please susan answer my question : when someone left u but with so many unansered questions a lot of why's and u can't talk to them to figure out why because they gone and this is traumatized me help plz @susanwinter
It would be great if we had closure that came with exact information. Sometimes that's not the case, and we have to create the closure ourselves by coming to our own conclusions as to why the relationship ended
@@SusanWinter wow dear susan. this is a DEEP but yet profound reply!!! I am in love with your mentor ship in love and relationship ! I nearly wanted to asked the similar question as above ! but i guess I will give it a thought myself !!! thank you and have a great day !
Well since Susan probably will never take me up on my offer to run off to Bora Bora and live in Island Luxury where the Bora Bora pygmies would worship her as the goddess she truly embodies, I guess my next choice or Plan B will have to suffice. 😉
Yes, good one Susan. Just earlier this month I tried to remain in a situation that I knew in my heart was not right but thought I could possibly "train" myself to go along with it just to see if that could really work. But when disrespect on top of disrespect kept coming from that woman, I knew I couldn't keep up the experiment and had to leave. The lesson I learned from that is you should NEVER allow yourself to try and be comfortable in a uncomfortable situation. Experiment or not! Bless you!
Lawrence Chatman Lawrence, I love this commentary. That is absolutely correct. We should never train ourselves to be comfortable feeling uncomfortable
Well said Lawrence, I totally agree with you. I tried to do that and met repeated disrespect.
So true, Susan. We must pick people who share our values. It’s an unmanageable, inherent conflict that is hard to overcome if you don’t.
Underlying compatibility is key
Never compromise your core values
You always present in a wise and humane way, Susan.
And you always dress so well!
This is the sign I needed in my reassurance that I broke off something that wasn’t best for me....
Melissa A. Oh Melissa. I loved getting this message. Thank you so much. If you’re getting this sense, Then the hard choice was indeed the right choice
Dear Susan,
I would love to see a video about how to leave past heartbreaks behind when entering a new relationship. I was in a long relationship that ended very unexpected for me and now I am with a man that truly suits me. He is loving and caring but I seem to struggle to fully trust him. What can I do to feel more confident in my new relationship?
My current problem... and I knew I had to eventually let it go.
Idk but how you greet everyone in the beginning of the videos really made me want to subscribe
“ What are your non-negotiables ?”Beautifully said thank you 🙏🏽♥️
Excellent topic Susan! The check list certainly would be a wise move. For me, being #1 in my Partners life would be tops. In turn, I would do likewise. Wishing everyone luck in these crazy 'dating' times! Fortunately, we have a true Pro like Susan to help guide us!
Very insightful! I was with a "true love" for ten years ago couldn't give me this. He never understood. I agree it's non negotiable, at the time I had a hard time putting it into words. Until I experienced it. It sounds so selfish but it is exactly like Susan said, I could not make myself feel otherwise!
I like how you said about nonnegotiables. And what is my bottom line. Everyone needs to remind themselves that.
I will surely run through the checklist in my head and try to write them down before I run my head into the next one... Thank you Susan LOVE YOU so much !!! Linda
Your video came in the right timing!
I love that
Lol I wish you could just be my therapist, I admire you for your knowledge and advice on all of this.
Learn to assess. Loved the advice.
Been watching for a year now...Thank you Susan...keep helping us grow. This message was for me...had to break up with my fiance because of her disposition
Hello!
Topic: Men who want traditional roles from women in the household, but they want women to also go half on the bills.
Hi there!
There's got to be a medium in this relationship.
My GF and I decided that once we're married, that I'd take care of our bills. While she wants to work part time. We're in our early 50s.
@@cottagegymfun He is a millionaire who wants all the chores done by his wife and she has to pay half of everything....SMH.
In my next cohabitation relationship, I intend on having my partner agree to split the making meals, housework at 50/50 if he wants me to share the financial load. And if he's not willing to do his part cleaning, etc., he HAS to agree to hiring a part time housekeeper to keep up with the heavy duty chores. I've been doing 80% of the housework since I was 11 years old, all the way through my late 40's in all 4 long term relationships/raising kids. Been there done that.
My ex when I was with him, expected me to move in with him and he discussed me paying rent although I had already told him I would contribute 1/2 to bills and food. I own my own house so why would I want to rent that out, to move in with him to pay rent. He said it would be unfair for me to pocket all the money from the rental of my home. WTF I thought. Seemed to me he was looking to see how he could financially benefit.
This was great news for me. I never consider myself an overly jealous person but at times I have spent time with people that just bring out the jealous bug yet with other people I feel perfectly at ease and comfortable. Now I see as you pointed out. We have to match each other's style of caring, brilliant!
Susan....greatly appreciated. Right to the point!!!!! Thank you!!! 😉💕
Maryse Morel You are welcome
I cannot believe I’ve I only just found this channel! I love how you get straight to the point and give amazing advice
Thank you, Susan. I needed this today.
I had a similar situation...fidelity was a problem. It doesn't work for me. Great advice as always.
Really useful and grounded. Had a similar situation recently, It ended up being a huge incompatibility and had to break up. To turn the page hurts a bit, but it is absolutely necessary for the long run. Avoid the one who is trying to deny your truths and inciting you to change.
Great video. Thanks for sharing. I learned a lot.
Fantastic
It has, dear Susan. Thank you tons!
Stephanie!!!!!! Hi. How are you?? I'm so happy we can keep in touch this way, as well as in our conversations.
Brilliant!
Oh jeez... What a great question to pose to the audience. What are my non-negotiables? 🤔
This perfectly describes the position I recently found myself in. Luckily, I came to this realisation early on in the relationship, but this video has just confirmed even more that I made the right decision. Thank you for your wise words - they're helping to keep me sane (sort of)!
Hi Susan - ANOTHER excellent video and SO MANY TRUTHS in this one!!! So many of your videos are dead on (i.e. the one about choosing 'lesser') and they are all empowering - thank you!!!!!
I needed to hear this. A marriage isn’t a marriage without intimacy ♥️
Yeah that's true
You can get back your ex in less than 3 weeks
Contact bàbá ifáyẹni now
+2349017347541
Perfect timing. Thank you.
Susan, great topic and presentation. Thanks for your continued help, and guidance. Looking forward to your next topic.
Much appreciated Robert
Hi Susan. Amazing video. Simply love all the contents of all your videos and the advice that you give. It so meaningful and relatable.
Yes im respect her and earning trust and support each other-do talk and connect with thank you great advice.
Harold Guerrero Thank you
Hello Susan!
This is a fresh out the Shop great Vid.
UnexpectedWonder Thank you
I needed to hear this. Thanks I wanted to review if I was doing things correctly
Why do I feel this was made for me.
Perfect response!!
Hmm interesting ..never really knew that its possible to love truly and deeply without fidelity ...I would have thought you would need both but again that's probably just me being judgy and imposing my own narrow view point. These videos are always so so good because they always give you so much to think about. I could absolutely listen to this woman for hours. She always gives you a ton of stuff to think about. 👍
Hi John. Yes, this is an interesting case. Two men that love each other- one faithful by disposition and valures, the other with a need to explore and let loose. Here's the twist. The unfaithful partner would be lost with his 'rock.' So the power to stray is more avoident behavior that defects his true feeling of vulnerability
Great Advice Beautiful Keep it up Great Work 👍♥️♥️
hey Susan I did a Google search recently about Fidelity specifically with regards to men and the percentage quoted was that 93% of all men are going to have extramarital affair’s and that a lot of them feel much safer sharing with their mistress because they feel much less judged and anyway that was the basic gist of the whole long article that I read on the topic of fidelity
anyhow many years ago I worked as an exotic dancer when I was young and I remember the guy who ran the club he had friends in penthouse magazine and he was always trying to get people to sign up for a photo shoot for penthouse , anyway I remember one time he told me that there’s this unspoken rule that men have that they always deny any allegations and that they never admit that they ever did anything unfaithful (like that’s just the basic unspoken rule that men have to keep up the facade regarding faithfulness)
by the way my original comment was about 20 times longer than this one and I went into a whole discussion about things regarding intimacy and openness and I guess my comment was too long so there was an error and Google wouldn’t permit such a long comment to be posted
anyhow I appreciate your channel Susan
thank you....
basically one key comment that I would like to make is that when we pass away from this life and we’re in the spirit world we can see everything that others were thinking about us and everything we kept secret is seen therefore nothing is kept hidden for forever, only here on earth can we wear a mask and hide the truth of our being
Deborah Carroll well this is interesting commentary - not all men cheat, though that behavior stems either from the need for power, and ego boost, entitlement, or lack of appreciation. Sometimes it is just simply the human drive. As far as telling mistresses their truth, and keeping it from their spouse, the reason for that is that they feel judged. A better version of that scenario is to haveA partner with whom you can be completely honest to begin with
Susan Winter I just added onto my earlier comment I don’t know if you see the addition that I put there but my original message gave a whole long sharing about me and my life and my marriages and what not , and Google wouldn’t except the length of my comment so I ended up spending a long time going backwards and deleting most all of what I shared
yet anyway who knows the reason why yet in my life and in my experience in relationships no matter how open I was or how open hearted and honest and wanting things to be revealed and transparent all of my partners no matter how open we were sexually they always had secrets that they kept of being with other people
it’s just been my experience that’s all and there’s nothing I can do about it
all I can do is accept that I have no control over other people at all even if I ask them to please tell me if they’re attracted to someone else and please let me know if you’re having an affair so I won’t waste years of my life etc. they’ll still do it anyway and keep the secret
that’s been my experience so I am just accepting of my life and my human experiences and I’m not expecting to have that magical relationship that I always dreamed of
that’s I guess basically what I wanted to say
thank you for replying and I do believe you that there are a small percentage that are faithful and true .... the people who are being honest; they’re the ones being betrayed and that can happen whether you’re a man or a woman...
and by the way I recently experimented and made a choice to be the mistress instead to see if there is more freedom or more fun being on the other side of the situation and I did talk to this man about the pleasure of keeping a secret and he grinned really super big with pure joy and glee about keeping a secret
and I’m not going to go into psychoanalyzing this guy.... I just know there’s dark pleasure and a lot of people love having secrets over other people and yeah I know it’s controlling and control is darkness
and then I’ve also heard that darkness is love that has not yet been received as love and in my journey I am seeking to be in love and be in my heart regardless of other people‘s behavior and yet I am willing to get angry and I am willing to set boundaries when I really feel the need to do that... I am willing to speak my truth
yet when it comes to certain things.... I guess you could say I’m accepting my fate
@@heartwisdomlove that's because they need to mix the light with the dark. Maybe people cheat bc they need some dark but almost no one knows how to mix light and dark and be with one person.
I loved her, I realized it, accepted it with excitement and told her soon after.. sort of.
Me: "I want you to know I've never felt this way about anyone before."
Her: "You want to talk about us?"
Me: " I'm wondering if you want to become exclusive?"
Her: "I don't want to follow societies definitions of what a relationship means."
Me: *confusion*
We broke up 3 days later.
It's been 5 months and I still grieve.
How cruel to fall in love for the first time, waiting so long to find that person. Then have it ripped away.
T B I agree. It would be a wonderful story book version if most of us fell in love with someone who fell in love with us. It wasn’t that way for me my first time. And your situation is far more common than you realize. If you’d be open to it, I’d suggest you review why you valued this person so highly. Was she really your best choice?
@@SusanWinter Thanks Susan, I reflect on the relationship daily. People tell me I'm too hard on myself but I want to know in my heart every single time I did us wrong so I can avoid this pain as much as possible in the future.
She was really special, but not without her own faults which I accepted.
I mourn that life that will never be lived.
😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘I missed you so much dear Susan😘😘😘😘
HI!! I'm sorry to have been so busy with speaking engagements! Back to the channel! thanks for your support
One of my non-negotiables is smoking cigarettes. I recently went on one date with a guy and it seems very promising. He is a great guy who is very open and communicative. He doesn't smoke cigarettes and he doesn't do drugs. He smokes marijuana occasionally. We had a long talk about it last night and he said he would stop in the future if he was with a partner/had a family who didn't want him to do that (since that is what happened with his parents). I'm still conflicted. I don't love marijuana use, however, 80% of my friends smoke and I don't view them any differently.
I was with a woman that I could tell loved me a lot but was always looking at other guys. Never made me feel safe in the relationship but she always denied doing it even though she was caught
Loving that dress on you girl! :)
Thank you!! How are you? I always enjoy reading your comments.
@@SusanWinter As I enjoy watching your insightful videos ;) I am well my siSTAR x
Best so far. We have great rapport and sexual attraction. We live a continent apart -- major problem. Thanks.
Say for instance you want a relationship and in your head all you want is the family dynamics. The marriage the kids, you don't have a whole of of dating experience other than you know what you want how can you be sure you won't fall into relationships with narcissistic people or people with cluster B borderline
alcudiababe1 There are many people who struggle with mental health issues, knowingly and unknowingly-so the best barometer is to judge how you feel in the company of any given person
I wonder if the regular bickering or annoying habits are justifiable in asking yourself if they’re right for you. I know that nobody is perfect but if their habits make your life flash before your eyes, is that a reason to go? Is that shallow? What’s the difference between being shallow and being faithful to self happiness?
Well what I do to know if she loves me and we will possibly be able to spend the rest of our lives together is I play lower middle class. What I mean is I drive a basic cash car and wear regular clothing nothing flashy at all do regular activities etc...so than I can rule out if she's the woman who just seeks security because I'm not interested if she dosent love me for me and I love her for just who she is. I play regular citizen like I live from pay check to pay check but I have a really good passion I make money off of and I have over $40,000 saved up in the bank which is half of my year salary. That way I can rule out women who are just looking for security and not for true love because I wouldn't mind if she didn't have a high paying job just as long as she's honest and have the type of drive in life to move to the next level
Good day Mam and lovely people. I m from India Namaste 🙏 🙂 nowadays its bit scary getting married or jump into relationships for both men and women as we witness a lot of divorce cases and extra marital affairs. Seen a lot of people around me. I m born in the 80s. All I want to ask is " if we love someone Wholeheartedly and Truly....why those feelings are not reciprocated when the person knows how we feel for them. Why is it so Hard these days? Why they play such stupid Games? Unbelievable!
sometimes it is their own fear, fear of let someone really true and great to love them, fear of fall in love and knowing they can also be great and a loving person. one of greatest challenge in life is to face our truth and face our own fear, when we can not yet do that, we fall to another side of extreme or stay in lukewarm confusion. those just a small part of how i see this from the moment i read your question to Susan. Namaste
how do we decide what are non negotiable s are?
🌙🌙🌙🌙
Hi Susan, I am reflecting on my last 3 relationships. They all have been angry men and not emotionally available. I dont ask for much. I am feeling like there is something wrong with me that I make them evil. I'm pretty quiet. I'm nice. It's just a pattern now. Just wondering what you think.
I think you need to practice being sassy once in and see what happens! Reevaluate your boundaries, and check to make sure you're not over-giving.
@@SusanWinter I am pretty passive. Never speak up for myself. I will try that. I swear I am ready to be done with relationships. I am over giving and they dont see it. They say I'm not doing enough. Thanks Susan!
Omg..I never set boundries in my life. What is wrong with me.
@@Noir-sr5bw There is nothing wrong with you. You just have to set bounderies. See youtube videos, and i hope you learn from them.
Tony Gaskins
R.C. Blakes jr.
Derrick Jaxn
Stef Hick
Bless you girl🌹
Hi Susan I really need someone to talk to. I recently told this girl how I feel and and long story short, she rejected me. However, after telling her how I really feel, she said she feels the same way and i have crossed her mind a few times. She really thinks I am a great guy. However at this point in her life she is so busy and preoccupied that if she were to be in a relationship she would be saddened that she wouldn’t be able to give the same commitment she would hope to receive. As I am experiencing similar aspects of being busy like her I would like to pose the question what if we could try when we aren’t so busy anymore?
Don't WAIT for her. Please. I urge you. (because I really feel you're tempted to do so). Matteo, I can't tell if she is being polite or dismissive from reading 4 lines of a paragraph. If you want to chat about it, I need more info. Call me on Magnifi. Either way, don't wait for her, or wait for her 'maybe.' move on. date others
Thanks for the advice. I’d really like to talk to you more so I can provide you the context of everything since you’re experienced
Susan I’m not really sure if I have money to pay you on magnifi, I can tell you that we’re are going to graduate high school in the next few months, as we are both honours students we need good marks to get into schools. We’ve been good friends for about a year and a half. She’s very busy with a small job, school and her family while I’m busy with my part time job, hockey and family
@susan - Are non-negotiable’s be termed as boundaries we set when we in a relationship for each other? Or am I mixing up both?
I had a fella I felt I had a soul connection with and we became best friends and I could have wanted more. However every time I turned around he seemed to be chatting up a lovely young lady about half his age. In fairness he talked to everyone he loved to talk to anybody around him. He's a good-looking old fart and it made me feel Petty and jealous. I don't want to feel like that I'd rather be with someone that seems too keep the focus on us instead of everybody around us
I super loveee sending handwritten letters, but I have been pretty busy and have been traveling a lot lately. Good thing I came across an app where you send a text and they turn it into a pretty letter…. Let me know if you want to know what app I used :)
Can anyone help me ?
My Cycle is going on 15 years now & I can’t seem to change it . I’m a very affectionate caring loving women aged 35 , men tell me I’m attractive all the time . I just want to be loved in a committed relationship. Where I feel safe & wanted . But I meet a guy we start to date , we get on great he says he’s so crazy about me & finds me so attractive & caring and with in a few weeks( longest being 6 mths )the man says he doesn’t want commitment & has no feelings for me . This has happen to me about 20 times over the past 15 years . So obviously the issue is me or personality . But I don’t know how to fix it . I cannot get any man I like to commit to me & any man to might actually want to I’m not attracted to . And when they reject me I feel worthless and feel like ending my life sometimes because I’m exhausted from all the rejection . I spend weeks crying every day feeling like dirt untill the next man comes along & does it all over again . I’ve tired being on my own & that makes me even more depressed because I’m so so so lonely . I’ve no friends & just a mom I see sometimes . All I want is someone to want me back . If you can help me break this Path or give me advice I’d really appreciate it so much , Because today is my lowest I’ve ever been at . Thank you
Sapphire Sky not really sure what you are saying . I’m not curious, I’m very down to earth kind person . I do have friends but they are all married and do couples & marriage things on weekends So even thou I see them it’s not often & I feel always to be the single one in the group . I do have really low self esteem so I guess that’s it . It’s just I wish I knew what I was doing wrong in the relationships
@Susanwinter
Hey lovely beauty Nice weekend it storming in the Netherlands Susan Love you thousend 💋💋deep 😉
please susan answer my question : when someone left u but with so many unansered questions a lot of why's and u can't talk to them to figure out why because they gone and this is traumatized me help plz @susanwinter
It would be great if we had closure that came with exact information. Sometimes that's not the case, and we have to create the closure ourselves by coming to our own conclusions as to why the relationship ended
@@SusanWinter wow dear susan. this is a DEEP but yet profound reply!!! I am in love with your mentor ship in love and relationship ! I nearly wanted to asked the similar question as above ! but i guess I will give it a thought myself !!! thank you and have a great day !
Well since Susan probably will never take me up on my offer to run off to Bora Bora and live in Island Luxury where the Bora Bora pygmies would worship her as the goddess she truly embodies, I guess my next choice or Plan B will have to suffice. 😉
John Gallagher Wait! I’m packing my bag right now!
@@SusanWinter👍 😉 ..hope my little joke gave you a giggle on a cold winters day . 👍
Susan,a good video as usual. One of my non-negotiables is: @ the age of 64, I still want a sex life
Hypergamie
Well said.