Lysa thank you so so much for your courage and grace in telling your story of your journey. It is so encouraging to know the other side (the healed side) of that journey. You’ve been through a most excruciating long and arduous road and God had been faithful and everlasting in His love for you. I ESPECIALLY appreciate the part where you shared about how the devastation of divorce and emotional abuse and betrayal LITERALLY changes a persons brain. That’s physical and rock solid evidence of the damage it can do. Thank you thank you a thousand thousand times! I think people who’ve not been through divorce can fully understand the depth of damage it does to a person, heart mind spirit and soul.
I struggle with the fine line of fully trusting God and my deep need to not want to be deceived again. I know the allure of trying to control and how hard it is to let go of what really can't be controlled to avoid the hurt and pain. But it is a lingering battle for me and this episode really spoke to me and gave me more insight and areas I need to reflect on and talk more about with God.
I have been saying this for years. Forgiveness means you let go of the "right" to pay someone back. It does not mean reconciliation. If a couple can forgive and successfully reconcile, that is wonderful. But not all couples can do it. I also agree with Lysa about there being 2 types of trust. Blind trust is okay in many situations, e.g. you do this when you seek medical care or legal assistance, but not necessarily with a someone who has betrayed you.
Isn’t it amazing how we were taught growing up that we had to continually allow people to repeatedly walk all over us and be hurt over and over and just pretend it didn’t happen? That cause so much psychological damage to me. At 64 I have so many regrets of allowing trauma to happen to me over and over in the name of forgiveness.
My mom & grandmother endured repeated abuse from their spouses. Brutality & I grew up thinking it was a given. I stayed with addicted, cheating, adulterous husband for 15 years. He was never sorry & I thought forgiveness meant staying. This was a phenomenal interview. I've followed Lisa for years but I'm going to be honest. I see no deep joy in her. There's a sadness there. Sorry.
@@danilaroche1156. Agree. Going through all that I went through as a kid and an adult I have gotten to the point of wondering “why”? all the time. Try to follow Jesus and his teachings but if you continually push things under the rug and put up and shut up you never learn any self worth. Is that how Jesus wants us to live? That’s what I struggle with constantly. It’s like where is “joy” in that kind of living?
@DJH97 Selfworth comes from WITHIN. If you don't agree with a behaviour or what's said, it doesn't always have to be verbalized and seen as lowering your Selfworth. People CAN agree to disagree Respectfully. As children or youth we accept sometimes a behavior response that's familiar to us 😢 That's where FIRM Boundaries come in.
Now You KNOW better You DO better. There's Always a reason why things happened. Like Lysa, We too CAN learn from Our script messages and Move FORWARD ❤
I have partnered with Focus on the Family for many years. I’m 64 years old. I went through a cheating spouse 24 years ago, she left me to raise my kids by myself since my youngest was nine. I agree with Lysa about trust. I am permanently changed. I have been born again for over 26 years. In my case, God made it clear so far that I am to stay single. I can’t imagine ever feeling loved again, and trusting it
Thank you for sharing a little bit of your story, Tony. Should you ever need a listening ear, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). Our counselors will be glad to come alongside you in any way they’re able. We’re praying for you, friend. Your continued support towards our ministry means a lot to us. God bless you. - Naomi A.
absolutely the most honest, real and vulnerable Christian video I have ever listened to. Thank you for speaking against Christian religiosity on this subject
“I get to see what it feels like to be really loved and adored by a man…”😭 That’s been my prayer even before I was divorced after 21 years of marriage. I want to know what that feels like too.
I agree. 42 years of marriage and my husband abandoned me three years ago. I am 71 now, and because of the shock and trauma, I am experiencing severe health problems. I do wonder if I will ever know what it feels like to be truly loved and cherished by a man. 😢
Maybe, but can you see that that abandonment would ruin anything positive that went before? It probably all feels like a lie and that she was a fool and was just set up. That could just destroy a person. PTSD everywhere in her comment. 😢 @@K9_Queen
troyannbladsacker1811: We're so sorry to hear about your struggles, friend. God understands your pain, and He loves you and cares for you. If you ever need a listening ear and prayer, please call 1-800-A-FAMILY. In the meantime, know that we're praying for you. May God be with you.
Oh my gosh, thank you so so much!! I am encourage by and validated by what you are saying. I had a very similar experience, have since moved on and since remarried. The "ongoing repentance and hard work" you referenced were not present in my ex-husband's post affair behavior. He "said" he wanted to work on us, but the follow through was not there to the degree necessary. I waited three years for him to step up to the plate.Thank you too for referencing PTSD. My SIL, who is a therapist, told me that you don't get PTSD from a spouse's affair. Gratefully I sought out good counsel which confirmed that betrayal does indeed cause PTSD, especially after 42 years of marriage. Thank you, thank you!!
Love it when she says “uhm” 😍 it’s so cute. For me, this denotes that she is a good listener, not ready to speak out of turn but shows respect to the interviewer, attentive and processing everything. Thank you for sharing your story in honesty, Lysa 🙏🏾
I love her books. They’ve helped me so much with boundaries and trusting myself. I love the truth and honesty Lysa expresses that most of us can completely relate to. Keep up the lords work Lysa. ❤
I'm going through a season of betrayal and it is hard to see gods purpose but m trying very hard to be what god wants me to be for him..thank u for explaining so much to me
We're sorry you're having a hard time, @rebeccadowden7711. Please know that we're here for you. If you think it may be helpful to talk things over with someone, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. Our prayers are with you. -Luna H.
Thank you I was in a marriage for 17 years with emotional abuse. It has been 11 years but I definitely struggle with trust. Things trigger me like the suitcase etc. thank you for allowing me to see
When lysa explained the red flags, those are all indicators of a narcissist (I was also married to one and went through counseling for emotional abuse). It's such a complex situation and you don't readily recognize what's happening until so much damage has been done. Prayers for all out there who are enduring that type of relationship. I've been out of mind for 9 months and it's still a daily process to work through it and try to heal.
I'm just a bit frustrated with how Mr. Daley says that the light at the end of the tunnel is Lysa having a new relationship with a man. I did appreciate so much, this message in general but shouldn't the entirety of any Christian message be that Jesus is the light at the end of any tunnel?
Perhaps the light is based in the "Trust" that has been and is manifested in Christ through Lysa. I don't think the light would be found in man and doubt that was the content in which the statement was shared.
I can definitely appreciate your comment. In my mind, Christ = redeeming love. Maybe that Mr. Daley was also saying that love (Christ) came through her 2nd marriage in a way that wasn't present in her 1st marriage, which light (Christ) at the end of the tunnel was redeeming (Christ) to her 1st marriage and was her the promised land (Heaven). It sounds like even Chaz's story was a story of redemption through Christ that made possible the joining of the 2 of them in a marriage that now was aimed at Christ in a way the 1st was not. That's my take!
I have been married for 17 years and my husband has had 2 affairs. We have reconciled and have been recovering since 2017. However, I can not overcome the trust aspect. No matter what, I just can't trust him and there are times I catch myself wishing I had Lisa's story and know what it's like to truly feel loved. But I also am reminded that I am Loved by God. So I have. Everything I will ever need. I am happy for my kids that their parents are together but I live such a lonely and heartbreaking life dealing with the aftermath of infidelity and not being able to trust the person I do life with every day.
@tcar-gl3ge Our hearts and prayers go out to you as you face this difficult time in your marriage. Please know that we're here to come alongside you in any way we can. If you think it may be helpful to talk things over with someone, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. In the meantime, you may find this broadcast helpful- bit.ly/3TKX8J5."May the Lord intervene, surrounding you with His perfect peace during this time." -Luna H.
I feel the exact same way about two months ago I discovered my husband cheating on me it’s been going on for some time I forgave him but I do not trust him everything feels so different now he was incarcerated a few days ago I feel like I’m living in a movie 😢
Thank you Lisa❤ This interview has so many gold nuggets in it! Praise God for bringing you through and now the testimony that is helping so many people navigate their trauma and relationships. God bless you !
Ty Focus on the family for the most helpful resources. Lysa is one of my very favorite people. Her message at the end to those like me who are starting where she was moved me to tears. God bless you all.
Your kind words are encouraging, Jody. Such personal feedback from our listeners is what keeps our ministry relevant. Should you ever need a listening ear please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). Our counselors will be glad to come alongside you in any way they’re able. Blessings to you! - Naomi A.
Thank you Lysa for sharing your story.I appreciate every video I have watched for you and you speak words of wisdom. I also appreciate Focus on the Family and your program has helped me so much that I am where I am today. Please pray for my marriage 🙏
Thank you for your kind words @florah1640. We're glad our program has blessed you and will keep your marriage in our prayers. If you ever need a listening ear, feel free to call us at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). God be with you! - Julia J
It was on this platform that i first heard Lysa's story including the vow renwal.She has been through a lot but her vulnerabilty and grace is such a poweful testimony!Congratulations on your new chapter💐🙏
So proud of her courage! I'm so glad she did not cave, especially when he tried to turn it to the "compassion for abusers" nonsense that is a common false teaching. Also, the most alarming thing is these men seem to be learning about abuse for the first time, yet have been counseling marriage for years. I hope they are led to learn about how God treats marital abuse and are led to repentance for the demonic doormat theology they have taught that has destroyed many women and children over the years. It is time to start standing on God's Word regarding abuse.
And what is so sad is that this toxic, abusive theology is still being preached from the pulpit….which is also scary coming from many large churches. This theology is saturated in the south and in the Bible Belt. 😞🙏
Thanks for sharing! It’s crazy that we fight God so much when all He wants for us is the absolute best, but the absolute best is not a temporal best, but an eternal best for us.
We're sorry you're going through a difficult time, @AnGeLaOYA. Please know that we care about you and are here to come alongside you in any way we can. We have a variety of resources and even have Christian counselors on staff. If you think this would be helpful, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. -Luna H.
Yes this happened to me and he actually said I don't love unconditionally you put conditions on it I said well I love myself to and it's not to the expense of myself.
King David made mistake and then was forgiven because he did not repeat it. Both big things he did were very wrong. But God can forgive if you work at getting forgiveness.
We've all grown up in this therapeutic culture, so much so that even in the Church, counseling is usually foundationally secular with Christian window dressing. True biblical counseling doesn't deny that hurtful things have happened to us but understands that revisiting those episodes doesn't change anything. Are you going to follow and obey Jesus today?
Look it up: Psalm 118:8 King James Version 8 It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. Better to Trust only the Lord. ✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️
If we look at Jesus saying “70 times 7” in verse 22 we must also temper it with “If your brother or sister sins against you”in verses 15-17 of Matt 18. Sometimes confrontation will not result in restored relationship. To pretend it does is foolish not forgiving.
How a person reacts tells you a lot....TrueGod does NOT plan for you. You are a free moral agent. We were not created robots. Despite that statement, this is a very good show. We are NOT predestined.
Lysa, i have known you for 30 yrs now. Wow, hard to believe. I have always thought so much of you. Praying for you and praying for your ex, who obviously i know as well. Much love!!!! ❤❤❤
Thanks for writing with your question, Donna. Please give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). Our counselors will be glad to speak on a more personal level and answer your questions. Blessings to you! - Naomi A.
“Tidy things in your mind That you are seeing with your eyes” 💥 Don’t be unequally yolked with unbelievers Not everyone who says Lord Lord Ask the Lord for discernment
Hi friend, that's a great question. Be assured that you're not alone in your journey. Problems like this are never easy. We've served many couples whose situations seemed hopeless. You can view some of their stories here: bit.ly/3tZCGuu. We strongly encourage you to call and allow us to share how we can help - 866-875-2915. With Jesus nothing is impossible! We hope to hear from you, Ella L
@@laurakosch I just looked him up. He's 88 and is still doing Family Talk on the radio. Haven't checked to see if he's on youtube or podcast platforms. He interviewed AllieBeth Stuckey for today's episode.
@@laurakosch From Wikipedia: "Dobson stepped down as president and CEO of Focus on the Family in 2003, and resigned from the position of chairman of the board in February 2009."
I have been encouraged by and trusted Focus on the Family for 35 years. But I feel that I was mislead by your condemnation of the Harry Potter books, and many sincere Christian families were very suspicious of it for no good reason. I wonder, has Focus ever reconsidered their position on it? We finally read them with our teenagers and the criticisms were just wrong. Good and evil are clearly defined where Focus said they were confused, and they are well written and encourage loyalty, perseverance and, ultimately, to lay down one's life for the greater good if need be. They don't lead one into witchcraft any more than Tolkien's books, which are also great literature.
Lisa, I am on a marriage that is not trustworthy. He cheated on me for 10 years. I caught him. He didn't come clean. 31 years later, I still do not trust him. I think he is now having another affair. I don't know what to do?
We're sorry you're going through a difficult time, @darlenesstolp9854. Please be assured that our prayers are with you and your marriage. If you think it may be helpful to talk things over with someone (at no cost to you), please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. We're here to come alongside you in any way we can. -Luna H.
Hi, @andrewbender5023. We'd be happy to provide resources and even have Christian counselors on staff. If you think this would be helpful, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. We're here for you. -Luna H.
@focusonthefamily Luna, thank you. I have actually attended hope restored in Bransom, Missouri, in the spring of 2023. It was helpful. I even read the entire book that was giftec. It just wasn't enough to deal with everything specific to our situation (or rather my situation). But i did get some help. Thank you again.
My thoughts on Lysa have changed over the years. When i was a baby Christian, these self help topics and books of hers would appeal to me. Now that i have grown in my faith and Word. She is more of a self-help teacher. Not a bible teacher. She waters down the gospel to make it fit HER message and struggle. I think she is wonderful speaker and good conversation for Focus on the Family podcast. But she sounds like the culture with the narcissist vs. victim and boundaries. Boundaries are good but how many books can you write on the topic? Let the ex husband be. Her platform is so big, she could spread the gospel and have women be victorious through the power of Christ, stand in right standing with God, be born again of the Spirit and make disciples. That is my opinion and my discernment regarding this individual.
Exactly. Heard of her a couple years ago and it appeared sound to me at the time (it’s not supposed to be this way, book), but it is spirituality mixed with psychology. She is not owning her role in getting to this point in her marriage. Yes, her ministry is wonderful but if it was always her husband then of course it strained their connection. Or, if he was immature and unavailable, and it drove her to create a community for support, that could also be what happened. Either way. Both parties are responsible for their biblical roles in marriage. Men leading, providing and protecting. Women, care home-makers, care takers (children or not), and over seer of the home (which you cannot completely be if you are not home).
I want to believe the best about Lysa and not entertain the cynical notion that she's just trying to sell books. And yet Christianity isn't primarily therapeutic in its message but rather transformational. Psychological techniques might make us feel better about ourselves but won't fundamentally change us.
So sad it took me so long to find your comment. I first had to wade through the praising comments. While there certainly are elements of truth in this podcast, her message is very secular. I am disgusted how secular psychology (much of which is witchcraft according to the Scriptures) has entered into the church.
THAT IS THE REASON YOU ARE TO SEEK GOD ALMIGHTY OUR CREATOR FOR YOURSELVES OURSELVES TO PREVENT US FROM GOING I TO BITTER SITATIONS YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE OBVIOUS BILL BOARDS FOR ‼️🤔🤔
We are commanded to TRUST God with all our mind, heart and soul…not people. Jesus Christ was BETRAYED and He didn’t wallow around in self-pity or glorify His emotions, or feelings, but entrusted Himself completely to God. Get over it. This woman is so full of pride and love of herself and her emotions…it’s exhausting to hear anything she has to say. Bottom line everyone gets betrayed in one way or another . This isn’t courageous or brave of her at all . God doesn’t want us to be pansy Christian’s but to love Him more than anyone or anything and to quit getting so “damaged” by the betrayal of others. These topics are designed to get women (mainly) focusing on themselves and it’s such idolatry . Jesus never had to write a book about all His betrayals, His poor wounded heart…GET OVER IT….this is in no way important for Biblical living. The love of Christ compels us to love Him, His word and seldom even notice when one does us wrong, love does not even keep an account of wrong doings …I pray women would desire the Word over self exaltation . Too many woman are rambling on and on with their long lists of hurts . May we use every betrayal to keep us pointed to the One who will never betray us nor forsake us!!!! Glorify HIS name and His alone , not self !
Preach it to the secret men’s clubs that hurt women on purpose to dissociate them, while the other half are making women do their preaching FOR THEM. These women probably aren’t aware of the games people (term used lightly) play, but are skirting around the injustices caused by these groups that try to get people to RISE like the WICKED.
In a recent interview, she talked about one of her books about boundaries. She said that making boundaries is practicing self-control. For example, I tell my partner like I'm their parent, "You are allowed to do xyz. You are not allowed to do xyz." IOW I tell YOU how OUR relationship is going to be. It's not negotiated. I tell my partner what he can and cannot do, ie I control or manipulate you or else. It's an ultimatum. This she calls SELF- control?? Basic boundaries I get. Using boundaries as power plays or ultimatums and calling them self-control is wacko. She repeats this here at 24:00 and 36:00
Lysa thank you so so much for your courage and grace in telling your story of your journey. It is so encouraging to know the other side (the healed side) of that journey. You’ve been through a most excruciating long and arduous road and God had been faithful and everlasting in His love for you. I ESPECIALLY appreciate the part where you shared about how the devastation of divorce and emotional abuse and betrayal LITERALLY changes a persons brain. That’s physical and rock solid evidence of the damage it can do. Thank you thank you a thousand thousand times! I think people who’ve not been through divorce can fully understand the depth of damage it does to a person, heart mind spirit and soul.
I struggle with the fine line of fully trusting God and my deep need to not want to be deceived again. I know the allure of trying to control and how hard it is to let go of what really can't be controlled to avoid the hurt and pain. But it is a lingering battle for me and this episode really spoke to me and gave me more insight and areas I need to reflect on and talk more about with God.
Thanks for this conversation- people assume that forgiveness equals restoration and they are not synonymous
Right.
I have been saying this for years. Forgiveness means you let go of the "right" to pay someone back. It does not mean reconciliation. If a couple can forgive and successfully reconcile, that is wonderful. But not all couples can do it. I also agree with Lysa about there being 2 types of trust. Blind trust is okay in many situations, e.g. you do this when you seek medical care or legal assistance, but not necessarily with a someone who has betrayed you.
Isn’t it amazing how we were taught growing up that we had to continually allow people to repeatedly walk all over us and be hurt over and over and just pretend it didn’t happen? That cause so much psychological damage to me. At 64 I have so many regrets of allowing trauma to happen to me over and over in the name of forgiveness.
I think mainly Christians are taught that with all due respect. That or being raised by a narcissist can make you likely to tolerate disrespect.
My mom & grandmother endured repeated abuse from their spouses. Brutality & I grew up thinking it was a given. I stayed with addicted, cheating, adulterous husband for 15 years. He was never sorry & I thought forgiveness meant staying. This was a phenomenal interview. I've followed Lisa for years but I'm going to be honest. I see no deep joy in her. There's a sadness there. Sorry.
@@danilaroche1156. Agree. Going through all that I went through as a kid and an adult I have gotten to the point of wondering “why”? all the time. Try to follow Jesus and his teachings but if you continually push things under the rug and put up and shut up you never learn any self worth. Is that how Jesus wants us to live? That’s what I struggle with constantly. It’s like where is “joy” in that kind of living?
@DJH97 Selfworth comes from WITHIN. If you don't agree with a behaviour or what's said, it doesn't always have to be verbalized and seen as lowering your Selfworth. People CAN agree to disagree Respectfully. As children or youth we accept sometimes a behavior response that's familiar to us 😢 That's where FIRM Boundaries come in.
Now You KNOW better You DO better. There's Always a reason why things happened. Like Lysa, We too CAN learn from Our script messages and Move FORWARD ❤
I have partnered with Focus on the Family for many years. I’m 64 years old. I went through a cheating spouse 24 years ago, she left me to raise my kids by myself since my youngest was nine. I agree with Lysa about trust. I am permanently changed. I have been born again for over 26 years. In my case, God made it clear so far that I am to stay single. I can’t imagine ever feeling loved again, and trusting it
Thank you for sharing a little bit of your story, Tony. Should you ever need a listening ear, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). Our counselors will be glad to come alongside you in any way they’re able. We’re praying for you, friend. Your continued support towards our ministry means a lot to us. God bless you. - Naomi A.
THANK YOU for bringing in LYSA TERKEURST, great wisdom in your choice!
How a person reacts tells you a lot....True
Yes. Narcs can fake it but eventually the mask slips.
Lysa. You are such a blessing.
absolutely the most honest, real and vulnerable Christian video I have ever listened to. Thank you for speaking against Christian religiosity on this subject
“I get to see what it feels like to be really loved and adored by a man…”😭
That’s been my prayer even before I was divorced after 21 years of marriage. I want to know what that feels like too.
I agree. 42 years of marriage and my husband abandoned me three years ago. I am 71 now, and because of the shock and trauma, I am experiencing severe health problems. I do wonder if I will ever know what it feels like to be truly loved and cherished by a man. 😢
@@troyannbladsacker1811I feel the same way. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm just waiting to die. I'll know what true love is when I meet Jesus.
@@troyannbladsacker1811 while understanding this is a traumatic experience, was real love not felt in the 42 years with him?
Maybe, but can you see that that abandonment would ruin anything positive that went before? It probably all feels like a lie and that she was a fool and was just set up. That could just destroy a person. PTSD everywhere in her comment. 😢 @@K9_Queen
troyannbladsacker1811: We're so sorry to hear about your struggles, friend. God understands your pain, and He loves you and cares for you. If you ever need a listening ear and prayer, please call 1-800-A-FAMILY. In the meantime, know that we're praying for you. May God be with you.
Oh my gosh, thank you so so much!! I am encourage by and validated by what you are saying. I had a very similar experience, have since moved on and since remarried. The "ongoing repentance and hard work" you referenced were not present in my ex-husband's post affair behavior. He "said" he wanted to work on us, but the follow through was not there to the degree necessary. I waited three years for him to step up to the plate.Thank you too for referencing PTSD. My SIL, who is a therapist, told me that you don't get PTSD from a spouse's affair. Gratefully I sought out good counsel which confirmed that betrayal does indeed cause PTSD, especially after 42 years of marriage. Thank you, thank you!!
Love it when she says “uhm” 😍 it’s so cute. For me, this denotes that she is a good listener, not ready to speak out of turn but shows respect to the interviewer, attentive and processing everything. Thank you for sharing your story in honesty, Lysa 🙏🏾
I love her books. They’ve helped me so much with boundaries and trusting myself. I love the truth and honesty Lysa expresses that most of us can completely relate to. Keep up the lords work Lysa. ❤
I'm going through a season of betrayal and it is hard to see gods purpose but m trying very hard to be what god wants me to be for him..thank u for explaining so much to me
We're sorry you're having a hard time, @rebeccadowden7711. Please know that we're here for you. If you think it may be helpful to talk things over with someone, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. Our prayers are with you.
-Luna H.
Thank you
I was in a marriage for 17 years with emotional abuse. It has been 11 years but I definitely struggle with trust. Things trigger me like the suitcase etc. thank you for allowing me to see
This is so good to hear... God didn't allow consequences at the moment to protect her. This is something I've been struggling with for years
Wow!!❤❤❤Lysa, you are such an inspiration! I want to be without dysfunction and God can help me as he helped you. Hope!!
When lysa explained the red flags, those are all indicators of a narcissist (I was also married to one and went through counseling for emotional abuse). It's such a complex situation and you don't readily recognize what's happening until so much damage has been done. Prayers for all out there who are enduring that type of relationship. I've been out of mind for 9 months and it's still a daily process to work through it and try to heal.
I'm just a bit frustrated with how Mr. Daley says that the light at the end of the tunnel is Lysa having a new relationship with a man. I did appreciate so much, this message in general but shouldn't the entirety of any Christian message be that Jesus is the light at the end of any tunnel?
As if the highest goal in life is marriage.
Perhaps the light is based in the "Trust" that has been and is manifested in Christ through Lysa. I don't think the light would be found in man and doubt that was the content in which the statement was shared.
Oh get over yourself Morgan Mills!😂
I can definitely appreciate your comment.
In my mind, Christ = redeeming love.
Maybe that Mr. Daley was also saying that love (Christ) came through her 2nd marriage in a way that wasn't present in her 1st marriage, which light (Christ) at the end of the tunnel was redeeming (Christ) to her 1st marriage and was her the promised land (Heaven).
It sounds like even Chaz's story was a story of redemption through Christ that made possible the joining of the 2 of them in a marriage that now was aimed at Christ in a way the 1st was not.
That's my take!
I am so grateful to hear this conversation- I needed this. Thank you
I have been married for 17 years and my husband has had 2 affairs. We have reconciled and have been recovering since 2017. However, I can not overcome the trust aspect. No matter what, I just can't trust him and there are times I catch myself wishing I had Lisa's story and know what it's like to truly feel loved. But I also am reminded that I am Loved by God. So I have. Everything I will ever need. I am happy for my kids that their parents are together but I live such a lonely and heartbreaking life dealing with the aftermath of infidelity and not being able to trust the person I do life with every day.
@tcar-gl3ge Our hearts and prayers go out to you as you face this difficult time in your marriage. Please know that we're here to come alongside you in any way we can. If you think it may be helpful to talk things over with someone, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. In the meantime, you may find this broadcast helpful- bit.ly/3TKX8J5."May the Lord intervene, surrounding you with His perfect peace during this time."
-Luna H.
I feel the exact same way about two months ago I discovered my husband cheating on me it’s been going on for some time I forgave him but I do not trust him everything feels so different now he was incarcerated a few days ago I feel like I’m living in a movie 😢
Lord please continue to intervene & let there be complete restoration.
I love my 2 kids, but wish I never got married. Once the trust is gone....it's game over😢
Thank you Lisa❤ This interview has so many gold nuggets in it! Praise God for bringing you through and now the testimony that is helping so many people navigate their trauma and relationships. God bless you !
Ty Focus on the family for the most helpful resources. Lysa is one of my very favorite people. Her message at the end to those like me who are starting where she was moved me to tears. God bless you all.
Your kind words are encouraging, Jody. Such personal feedback from our listeners is what keeps our ministry relevant. Should you ever need a listening ear please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). Our counselors will be glad to come alongside you in any way they’re able. Blessings to you! - Naomi A.
Lysa, thank you so much for your words of wisdom 🙏 I ALWAYS learn so much from you and your humility 🙏❤️
Thanks
There's still some good men out here just look a little harder ❤❤ God bless us all amen ❤❤
Thanks!
17:01 This is a profound insight. Thank you.
22:57 Yes!!
God's Truth is So Clear!
Thank you and i pray to God to help me be a trustworthy man and husband Amen
Thank you Lysa. Your book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, really helped me.
Thank you Lysa for sharing your story.I appreciate every video I have watched for you and you speak words of wisdom.
I also appreciate Focus on the Family and your program has helped me so much that I am where I am today.
Please pray for my marriage 🙏
Thank you for your kind words @florah1640. We're glad our program has blessed you and will keep your marriage in our prayers. If you ever need a listening ear, feel free to call us at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). God be with you! - Julia J
Great conversation. @25:45 😮
Lysa thanks for your knowledge and expertise. This was so helpful. God bless you and ministry.
It was on this platform that i first heard Lysa's story including the vow renwal.She has been through a lot but her vulnerabilty and grace is such a poweful testimony!Congratulations on your new chapter💐🙏
Lisa gave such a powerful insight that I will be listening in this video again.
So proud of her courage! I'm so glad she did not cave, especially when he tried to turn it to the "compassion for abusers" nonsense that is a common false teaching. Also, the most alarming thing is these men seem to be learning about abuse for the first time, yet have been counseling marriage for years. I hope they are led to learn about how God treats marital abuse and are led to repentance for the demonic doormat theology they have taught that has destroyed many women and children over the years. It is time to start standing on God's Word regarding abuse.
And what is so sad is that this toxic, abusive theology is still being preached from the pulpit….which is also scary coming from many large churches. This theology is saturated in the south and in the Bible Belt. 😞🙏
This is a very godly interview. Truths respect consideration from both sides of the desk. Many will be helped.
Great insight ❤️
I needed to hear this.. Thank you Lisa.
Where one's treasure is, there their heart is also.
Thanks for sharing! It’s crazy that we fight God so much when all He wants for us is the absolute best, but the absolute best is not a temporal best, but an eternal best for us.
Thank you!! I’ve been waiting for her to come on and talk about her new book!!
Excellent ❤
Excellent interview & topic! & so we’ll done. 👍🏻👍🏻
Thanks for sharing
Great questions
Thank you so much Lysa. You are wonderful ❤
Thank you for the video. Bless her.
29:33 consequences are built into sin! We don’t have to see it to know it exists. We will reap what we sow.
I can relate to this very much
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I love this! Beautiful message ❤ Thank you!
Bought Lysa's Trust ebook. Thank you, for writing it. I think Lysa's book goes well with also reading Dr. Henry Cloud's Trust book. Cheers! ^_^
Wow!!! So much to chew …
Truly this is an answer to prayer 🕊️
Great Insight for my heart.
God Bless Focus on The Family~
And God Bless You Lisa.
We're glad you found the broadcast helpful, @shellyalbany! God bless you!
-Luna H.
I enjoyed It.
But awesome info can soooo relate
Amen, Lisa
I have no reason to hope right now. I am drowning and after so many experiences with "professionals" I can't trust anyone anymore!!!!!
We're sorry you're going through a difficult time, @AnGeLaOYA. Please know that we care about you and are here to come alongside you in any way we can. We have a variety of resources and even have Christian counselors on staff. If you think this would be helpful, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459.
-Luna H.
Put your hope in the Lord and not phycologists! He is faithful!
How long did it take though? And how do you stop trying to control from fear of being hurt again?
It's true, karma is bittersweet, but it does help us to fear God again.
Yes this happened to me and he actually said I don't love unconditionally you put conditions on it I said well I love myself to and it's not to the expense of myself.
King David made mistake and then was forgiven because he did not repeat it. Both big things he did were very wrong. But God can forgive if you work at getting forgiveness.
Also interesting:
We know about his relationship with Michal at this point. But what about his OTHER wife Abigail?
I need help 😢😢😢😢😢
“Behavior is a language” Dr. Dalony”.
We've all grown up in this therapeutic culture, so much so that even in the Church, counseling is usually foundationally secular with Christian window dressing. True biblical counseling doesn't deny that hurtful things have happened to us but understands that revisiting those episodes doesn't change anything. Are you going to follow and obey Jesus today?
"Foundationally secular with Christian window dressing" Most don't even bother with the window dressing.
I agree completely
There’s more to this story that what is seen
[33:25] That which we Fear we try to Control
Look it up:
Psalm 118:8
King James Version
8 It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.
Better to Trust only the Lord.
✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️
If we look at Jesus saying “70 times 7” in verse 22 we must also temper it with “If your brother or sister sins against you”in verses 15-17 of Matt 18. Sometimes confrontation will not result in restored relationship. To pretend it does is foolish not forgiving.
How a person reacts tells you a lot....TrueGod does NOT plan for you. You are a free moral agent. We were not created robots. Despite that statement, this is a very good show. We are NOT predestined.
Lysa, i have known you for 30 yrs now. Wow, hard to believe. I have always thought so much of you. Praying for you and praying for your ex, who obviously i know as well. Much love!!!! ❤❤❤
I appreciate you sharing truth !positive thoughts and counseling and the Bible doesn’t make things right every time
How do you apply this to a relation between a mom n young adult son?
Thanks for writing with your question, Donna. Please give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). Our counselors will be glad to speak on a more personal level and answer your questions. Blessings to you! - Naomi A.
The inconvenience story is so prevalent in our society today...😢
“Tidy things in your mind
That you are seeing with your eyes” 💥
Don’t be unequally yolked with unbelievers
Not everyone who says Lord Lord
Ask the Lord for discernment
I would love to talk to Lysa about my personal situation
Jacqueline, to get in touch with Lysa, you may want to visit her website: bit.ly/3YGvmiI. Blessings! - Naomi A.
This can be regarding male or female.
Yes
Her ministry is called Proverbs 31 Ministries. I can't see the Proverbs 31 woman hitting the Taylor Swift Eras tour.
Hope restored is this available on a book?
Linda, Lysa has written a book titled "I Want to Trust You, But I Don't," and it’s available for a donation at this link: bit.ly/3XUVDJp. Blessings!
Do you think after a spouse cheat you can trust again?
Hi friend, that's a great question. Be assured that you're not alone in your journey. Problems like this are never easy. We've served many couples whose situations seemed hopeless. You can view some of their stories here: bit.ly/3tZCGuu. We strongly encourage you to call and allow us to share how we can help - 866-875-2915. With Jesus nothing is impossible! We hope to hear from you, Ella L
You can see the trauma behind her eyes and she recalls memories of pain. :(
I wish the 2 sessions were numbered! Or is it just me? 😊
Im STILL waiting 😔
Oh my goodness I would love to have doctor amin scan my brain
Do your research. The scientific community sees these scans as unproven and bogus.
Yes
Why is only one host engaging with the guest? I’d love to hear the other guy too 😢
One guy is the announcer guy and the other guy is the main guy.
@@RCGWho thx - it seemed real odd but sure!
@@RCGWho no, thank you!! It was bugging me but now I understand!
Is Jim Dobson still around?
@@laurakosch I just looked him up. He's 88 and is still doing Family Talk on the radio. Haven't checked to see if he's on youtube or podcast platforms. He interviewed AllieBeth Stuckey for today's episode.
@@laurakosch From Wikipedia: "Dobson stepped down as president and CEO of Focus on the Family in 2003, and resigned from the position of chairman of the board in February 2009."
I have been encouraged by and trusted Focus on the Family for 35 years. But I feel that I was mislead by your condemnation of the Harry Potter books, and many sincere Christian families were very suspicious of it for no good reason. I wonder, has Focus ever reconsidered their position on it?
We finally read them with our teenagers and the criticisms were just wrong. Good and evil are clearly defined where Focus said they were confused, and they are well written and encourage loyalty, perseverance and, ultimately, to lay down one's life for the greater good if need be. They don't lead one into witchcraft any more than Tolkien's books, which are also great literature.
Lisa, I am on a marriage that is not trustworthy.
He cheated on me for 10 years. I caught him. He didn't come clean.
31 years later, I still do not trust him.
I think he is now having another affair. I don't know what to do?
We're sorry you're going through a difficult time, @darlenesstolp9854. Please be assured that our prayers are with you and your marriage. If you think it may be helpful to talk things over with someone (at no cost to you), please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. We're here to come alongside you in any way we can.
-Luna H.
Find Leslie vernick and her biblical teachings. Or called to peace ministries.
He was a narcissist . The same patterns being done . 😢
Really wish there was more help for the betrayed male
It is probably out there, Ficus on the Family may be able to help 😊
Hi, @andrewbender5023. We'd be happy to provide resources and even have Christian counselors on staff. If you think this would be helpful, please give us a call at 1-800-232-6459. We're here for you.
-Luna H.
@focusonthefamily Luna, thank you. I have actually attended hope restored in Bransom, Missouri, in the spring of 2023. It was helpful. I even read the entire book that was giftec. It just wasn't enough to deal with everything specific to our situation (or rather my situation). But i did get some help. Thank you again.
My thoughts on Lysa have changed over the years. When i was a baby Christian, these self help topics and books of hers would appeal to me. Now that i have grown in my faith and Word. She is more of a self-help teacher. Not a bible teacher. She waters down the gospel to make it fit HER message and struggle. I think she is wonderful speaker and good conversation for Focus on the Family podcast. But she sounds like the culture with the narcissist vs. victim and boundaries. Boundaries are good but how many books can you write on the topic? Let the ex husband be. Her platform is so big, she could spread the gospel and have women be victorious through the power of Christ, stand in right standing with God, be born again of the Spirit and make disciples. That is my opinion and my discernment regarding this individual.
Exactly. Heard of her a couple years ago and it appeared sound to me at the time (it’s not supposed to be this way, book), but it is spirituality mixed with psychology. She is not owning her role in getting to this point in her marriage. Yes, her ministry is wonderful but if it was always her husband then of course it strained their connection. Or, if he was immature and unavailable, and it drove her to create a community for support, that could also be what happened. Either way. Both parties are responsible for their biblical roles in marriage. Men leading, providing and protecting. Women, care home-makers, care takers (children or not), and over seer of the home (which you cannot completely be if you are not home).
@@2780-l2k You're blaming her for her husband cheating on her?
No wonder nonbelievers don't like Christians. We are to be the most compassionate not most critical.
I want to believe the best about Lysa and not entertain the cynical notion that she's just trying to sell books. And yet Christianity isn't primarily therapeutic in its message but rather transformational. Psychological techniques might make us feel better about ourselves but won't fundamentally change us.
So sad it took me so long to find your comment. I first had to wade through the praising comments. While there certainly are elements of truth in this podcast, her message is very secular.
I am disgusted how secular psychology (much of which is witchcraft according to the Scriptures) has entered into the church.
Doesnt let me give thumbs up
absolutely no.
No what?
The mistake here is to only point it to females, it is true of both.
They do say this issue of restoring trust after a broken dysfunctional relationships applies to both, men and women. Listen to the entire interview.
Yes they do. However, if you aren't the betrayed male you really can not understand that perspective and the perception attached to that dynamic
2:15 “women and some men too”
🔥🕯️🏆🕯️ 🌈 tabe Wie sangen Taung tabe bulan Oktober bulan Rosario untuk ITE sangen Taung glory haleluya Amen 🏆🕯️🏆 🔥 🌈
THAT IS THE REASON YOU ARE TO SEEK GOD ALMIGHTY OUR CREATOR FOR YOURSELVES OURSELVES TO PREVENT US FROM GOING I TO BITTER SITATIONS YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE OBVIOUS BILL BOARDS FOR ‼️🤔🤔
All in CAPS. Have you never made a mistake?
Whutttt? What are you trying to say???
❤
We are commanded to TRUST God with all our mind, heart and soul…not people. Jesus Christ was BETRAYED and He didn’t wallow around in self-pity or glorify His emotions, or feelings, but entrusted Himself completely to God. Get over it. This woman is so full of pride and love of herself and her emotions…it’s exhausting to hear anything she has to say. Bottom line everyone gets betrayed in one way or another . This isn’t courageous or brave of her at all . God doesn’t want us to be pansy Christian’s but to love Him more than anyone or anything and to quit getting so “damaged” by the betrayal of others. These topics are designed to get women (mainly) focusing on themselves and it’s such idolatry . Jesus never had to write a book about all His betrayals, His poor wounded heart…GET OVER IT….this is in no way important for Biblical living. The love of Christ compels us to love Him, His word and seldom even notice when one does us wrong, love does not even keep an account of wrong doings …I pray women would desire the Word over self exaltation . Too many woman are rambling on and on with their long lists of hurts . May we use every betrayal to keep us pointed to the One who will never betray us nor forsake us!!!! Glorify HIS name and His alone , not self !
Preach it to the secret men’s clubs that hurt women on purpose to dissociate them, while the other half are making women do their preaching FOR THEM. These women probably aren’t aware of the games people (term used lightly) play, but are skirting around the injustices caused by these groups that try to get people to RISE like the WICKED.
In a recent interview, she talked about one of her books about boundaries. She said that making boundaries is practicing self-control. For example, I tell my partner like I'm their parent, "You are allowed to do xyz. You are not allowed to do xyz."
IOW I tell YOU how OUR relationship is going to be. It's not negotiated. I tell my partner what he can and cannot do, ie I control or manipulate you or else. It's an ultimatum. This she calls SELF- control??
Basic boundaries I get. Using boundaries as power plays or ultimatums and calling them self-control is wacko.
She repeats this here at 24:00
and 36:00
What is the other man doing “sitting” there taking notes…? This is weird.