I’ve heard of women getting divorced after being in a “traditional” marriage and then struggling because she hasn’t worked since she was young, if ever.
Men who marry very young women like them typically divorce once she starts aging like him so he can get another younger wife. They won't learn until after it happens to them.
@@Davinana44 I’m disabled and divorced, I was a homemaker for ten years so little to no work history anyways. It is not easy and that’s with a paid for car and house, literally just paying bills and I’m struggling. To the younger generation, please don’t give up your financial independence to be a homemaker, it’s not worth the risk.
@ I honestly would have believed him if he didn’t have the most guilty response in the book. If he had just left it at “i’m not a white supremacist” it would have at least been believable that his subconscious was in denial. but the amount of times i’ve seen stuff like “how can i be a neo-nazi if i’m black/jewish?”….
I had an acquaintance who was white & married to a black woman. One day he posted that all Mexicans are ugly. A couple people told them they were Mexican, and he said they were only attractive because they "Have Aztec DNA" When people started calling him racist, he said "I can't be racist, my wife is black" Even when people pointed out that you can be racist towards one or more races & not towards others, he just kept doubling down. I know he lost 5 or more friends that day. So, yeah...
And her not having bank accounts or assets in her name definitely doesn't protect her in case he is injured or unalived. He is providing no financial protection, just gives her an allowance.
also my understanding is that in the us many people have to work overtime (i’m from poland tho so this is based from what i read/see online) which makes me even more sad that she would make those people feel bad
Thats definitely true. Most of the blue collar jobs here that pay decently have a minimum 50 hour week. They also try to sell you some work life balance lie. Americans are running themselves into the ground and get mad at other people for trying to say this shouldnt be the norm.@orangemelon92
them happily professing they cancelled her bank account was terrifying. when it was just my dad who worked, my mom would have to ask for permission to buy EVERYTHING even groceries. being financially restricted is a very scary premise to me
Those men would HATE it to ask a woman for money. If you wanna be traditional then half of his income should be sent to her bank account so she can buy stuff. Like wtf
I was confused by that too but then she mentioned having insurance coverage and a home with everything paid, so she's counting that. But that would be like a 16 year old counting their parents' house as their income, it's dumb lol. I sincerely hope her name is on the house, cars, etc because if not she doesn't own anything, she lives in his house, like a kid
I think is super extra funny when trad wives say "In your job they will fire you tomorrow, my husband wont fire me :( " oh honey, divorces exist, he will totally dump you for a newer model
Literally! And they don’t talk about when these trad wives get divorced, they have to start their lives over. Their husbands leave them NOTHING. These men do not care about you lol. They care about the control.
They never fully commit to the comparison either. If you're fired, there's still several benefits you can get. You can qualify for receiving unemployment, you might get severence pay, at the very least there is not a gap on your resume and that job can help you monkey branch to something better. I don't think that you will get a lot of approval going on a date and opening with "yeah I've been married three times so I got a lot of experience." Monkey ranching a relationship is downright immoral and doesn't work 99% of the time cause someone has to be cool with cheating. And from empirical evidence we know husband's tend to drop support for their CHILDREN, much less their exes, as soon as they're not there. Even in cases of court mandates.
Not just divorce, but he could die tomorrow. If her name isn't listed on any of the accounts or specified as the beneficiary, good luck getting access to those funds. I've had a few friends who lost their spouse suddenly and everything was in the spouse's name, took forever to gain access to even the bank account.
There are tons of tradwives that get kicked to the curb because the husband has a mistress he’d rather be with, and unlike cases with most jobs, they tend to get left destitute because without prior job experience, they aren’t seen as the most viable option for jobs.
Yeah it’s easy to tell other women to stop working and fully rely on their partners when they have their own influencer income They’re as out of touch as any rich idiot
Femenist sahm here! Before i left the workforce last year, my husband and i discussed what my job description would be. I agreed to provide daytime care for our children, manage any doctors appointments that fall within weekday business hours, provide meals and activities. My husband and i share ALL other household duties and childcare. In fact, when he gets home he completely takes over with the kids. We have a cleaner come every other week. I dont know how so many of these women got the crappiest deal when it comes to their home life and division of labor and wonder why others dont want their lives??
tbh i think a lot of these wives don’t realize that their labor distributions are unfair. they’re all very stuck in their ways, imo. i think all the pushback just pushes them into it further tbh.
This is the way tbh Like I enjoy being a provider, but me & my other family members all take care of the house together The only thing I avoid doing is cooking dinner unless I have to lol
The way they talk about their fellow women, who I'm sure are in their comment s3ctions saying this isn't how women think at all... it's just evil. It's internalized misogyny
She's talking about how it's bad for women to work, because a "thankless boss" is able to replace you... Girl, I hate to tell you, but there's nothing stopping your husband from replacing you, either.
Thhaaaaannnkkkk yoouuuu!! I was thinking this the whole time! And it's scary but because of the age gap, I am more inclined to think it is a better chance of him dumping her for someone younger in the future.
Right if anything at least you have worker's rights and can sue for being wrongfully fired but your husband could just divorce you for any reason and leave you in the dust nothing is stopping him from doing that
I hate when women like this sneer at those who are child-less or single. Just because they tie their worth to having a man, doesn’t mean they should be able to push that awful rhetoric onto everyone else. Just disgusting.
You know what grinds my gears about the whole trad wife thing? The belief that the man doesn't have to do anything around the house or only things that are "masculine" like mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage. My parents had a traditional marriage. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked. She had always wanted to be a SAHM so she was very happy about it. But when my dad got home from work, he didn't just sit on the couch all night doing nothing. He often cooked (usually weekend breakfast but sometimes dinner), would play or hang out with me and my sister, do dishes, do laundry, etc. There were times he was exhausted from work and would sit and watch a movie, which we usually joined him in watching. But it was very much a partnership. These trad relationships today are so stereotypical and forced into these rigid boxes that it makes them ridiculous.
While I'm glad that is your experience, I can promise you that's not the experience for even working women. See the "Three shifts" phenomenon that many modern women have to endure.
Yup, that exactly how my parents are. Ironically, they’re still married, compared to all these other “traditionalists” that have a long line of divorces
Hi, I'm 36 and I used to have a boyfriend, we moved in together at one point but I never forgot what my mother always told me: "Buy your own stuff, anything you need that would be useful in your everyday life, so that if someday everything goes south, you'd at least have YOUR OWN things that you bought with your own money." I did precisely that, I had washing machine, a fridge, two ACs, a bed, etc... One day, after 13 years together, everything was over due to our mental health, but I at least had my stuff to fill an apartment. He had to start from scratch bc he was never very mature about his purchases but I was. It might sound selfish, but yeah, DO NOT RELY on some else's money bc your current life will probably not stay the same forever
"My husband won't fire me", girl you don't wanna know what has become of the trad wives of the past who are living on minimum wage supporting multiple kids
Apparently, SAHM are the worst women to divorce from given the fact they literally have to start from scratch following the divorce. There's usually a lot of anxiety involved, which means a lot of the divorce sometimes drag out. This is in cases where the man suddenly decides to divorce. Which is rather ironic given the amount of trad alpha men who insist on women being SAHM.
She says women choose to submit to the authority of a boss in a workplace as a foil for her being in this relationship but...I dunno, I get to go home after work and my boss doesn't have any say in how I spend my money, I don't have to do their chores or make their meals. Heck, I don't even think about my boss outside of work hours.
This is literally how many misogynistic men think too. One guy in my family is like this and guess what. Would he like to he in the position of the wife? Of course not.
I don’t comprehend how people think women don’t run any businesses. Like, there’s a mostly-women surveying and consulting company near me, there’s dozens of small businesses owned and run entirely by women, most of the management in the company I work for are women despite having slightly over half the company being men, it’s just baffling to me she thinks that “boss=man” just because she’s military… I literally have an aunt who was a sergeant, I don’t get this idea of women not owning or calling shots on things
I also don't depend on my boss's continued attraction and love for me for survival. I only have to do my job for x hours per day, I don't have to do a job as "perfect wife" 24/7.
It's really illustrative to me that her argument boils down to "wouldn't you rather be in service to a husband who loves you rather than a boss that doesn't." It's a sneaky fallacy, because the answer to the question is obviously yes. But it just assumes that there is no life a woman could be other than one in service to a man. It's like the possibility of any kind of independence whatsoever has not even occurred to her. Not even an equal partnership, just servitude. Edit because some commenters convinced me of an even better point: Even that initial fallacy falls apart for most people if you consider the implications for more than a few moments.
Isn't that more of an critic on captilaism and our work life balance if we all worked less , were actually paid well to cover our bills and to engage in our hobbies and didn't have dìckhead bosses then that whole argument would fall apart beacuse women could make their own money and enjoy their job but that has nothing to do with gender I never understood that argument
Controlling someone's income and job is financial abuse. The show/book Maid is really good about showing how toxic this can be. My mom was cut off from my dad's money in 2020, but he only lets her have a part-time job in order to better "take care of us" (we're all in college or beyond) and shames her when she asks for help on groceries. She actually has a savings account that he knows about for when she gets divorced, but he uses this against her when she asks about any money for necessities.
Why was she cut off by her husbands money? He sounds horrible, is there anything you can do to help her get out of there? :( My mom had a similiar thing going on, but she worked full time and did everything. She wouldn't listen to me saying it's not ok how she is treated
@justaguynamedx I'm sorry your mom has to go through that. Maybe she will be happier on her own, my mom was having a glow up after breaking up with her long term partner.
My mother always told me that being a feminist means you accept what all women want to do with their own lives. You accept that your friend wants to get married to her high school sweet heart and be a stay at home mom and you accept your friends who choose a career. As long as it’s their choice to do so and a man is not forcing them, then who am I to tell them they’re wrong? - a 34 year old single woman who’d rather be alone than ever find a relationship like this, while also understanding when it’s her choice 😭
Every day it quite literally feels like we are closer and closer to being back in the 1950s, and this cringy-ass "Trad-Couple" movement further proves that. We are living in the darkest and stupidest timeline rn ISTG.
It proves the opposite to me. Content about a traditional wife was the norm back then and promoting the opposite was the controversial opinion. Now it has changed so massively that traditional wives are the controversial ones. I don't see the reason to judge any lifestyle that doesn't cause harm to others. Her talking about what makes her happy and therefore what she thinks others would be happy with is fine, but arguing against her opinions on how all women should be made to live is a valuable conversation.
@@Bonsho norm doesn't necessarily equal good, the criticism is mostly due to the loss of security that comes with becoming a SAHM/tradwife dynamic especially during a time period where the cost of living is stupid expensive for a single income, as well as the hypocrisy of a social media influencer claiming she doesn't have a job outside the home. I was raised by a SAHP who didn't do the online influencer grift and currently cleaning up the legal nightmare of losing the "breadwinner" of the family to cancer, what people like this lady does is promote propaganda that doesn't match up to reality for those who are disillusioned with the 9-5; The "traditional" lifestyle was always reserved for the rich, not your common layfolk like her viewers
@@lazyperfectionist3978 All life choices have risks. For example: someone wants independence so they live alone, but they get into an accident and can no longer work and can't get disability. They risk losing everything. And to be clear before I continue, I have no desire for a traditional household as I live alone on my own income, but it has positives. For example: childcare is insanely expensive, so unless both parents make more than the costs, it would be beneficial (in some cases) for one of them to be stay-at-home. And to cover risks they have options for life insurance and alimony. A very flawed and risky system and government intervention would help a lot, but this is what we have right now. I don't really have any arguments for this specific person. I don't know how much she makes being an influencer or the details of her life leading up to this, I was just commenting on the OPs lamentation that content like hers exists. We shouldn't say any lifestyle is right or wrong because we don't know what the future for any one person holds.
@@Bonshoshe’s not only talking about what makes her happy, she’s openly criticizing everything that allowed her to make that choice. You obviously didn’t watch the video 🤡
Financial freedom separate from spouses is so important. We never want to believe relationships will end but when they do, starting over with no money, no belongings of your own, and minimal experience with tasks like paying bills is a nightmare. Unfortunately, homemaker doesnt look great on resumes.
You're so right! My parents have seperate finances and a bit that's mutual. It both helps with individuality (they buy things for themselves with comfort, fully communicating about bigger expences but having their idependance with smaller ones) and they also can do stuff for each other, treating each other to stuff, buying gifts etc. I think they enjoy it and it makes a huge part of why they work. They have been together since being 16 and 20 resoectivly, it's been a quater of a century and some more
It absolutely should look good on resumes! Being a homemaker is being a project manager, and that is not easy. My partner is a professional project manager who now takes care of our home. This is the best relationship I've ever been in, he is a fucking genius and so on top of everything.
Yup, no bank accounts, car loan, credit card, lease, etc in your name = no credit score. Which means if you are left, or have to leave...there is very little chance you will have an easy time renting a new apartment, opening a bank account, etc... because you will have a massive gap in your employment and credit history (if you have any thing at all depending how old you were when you got sucked in to being financially dependent/controlled/abused), where they will have concerns about what you were doing. And if you end up with a vindictive ex, who knows what lies they might spread about you.
The way my jaw dropped when he said they cancel all of her credit cards and she very discipline. I was raised to always have a safety net no matter what for yourself.
I’m 65. My mother had to ask for permission to work so Ive lived my life in the middle of the feminist movement. To think that these young women would willingly give over all that our mothers fought for, got divorced for, burned bras for, just because of their human need to be thought of as persons! How can this be happening! It’s like the antivaxing business. People forget the horrors of what the world was like when your friend got polio and didn’t come back to school or you started coughing and the neighbours got whooping cough. I am afraid.
I'm a GenX'r. I find the whole Trad-wife thing SUPER concerning. Like you, I'm not talking about SAHP. I'm talking about people like that influencer. It's borderline dangerous. Also, that age gap is gross. I dated a much older dude when I was 22. I regret it to this day. He was mentally and sexually abusive. He also tried to destroy my life after I dumped him for his nasty behavior. No way on Gaia's green earth would I ever do anything like that again. I can't even imagine why anyone would do this VOLUNTARILY. Ugh.
I was a trad wife and these women have NO idea what life ahead of them is going to be like if he 1) falls out of love 2) becomes abu$ive 3) develops a serious addiction or 4)dies. It breaks my heart to see so many in Gen Z go for this shit, but I get it, it seems appealing because they're burnt TF out by the time they're in high school and they don't have the capacity, depending on their age, to be able to see how it will most certainly impact their future. This woman is brainwashed full stop, she spouts all of the fundamentalist talking points. It took me 10 years to rebuild my life after my trad marriage.
Yeah these influencers are out of touch. Like lady, you do have a job, an income to fall back on if and when the relationship ends. Don't encourage other women to not have a backup plan hypocrite!!
@van_ol1056 Thank you so much! It has been quite the journey, including completely deconstructing from Christianity as well but I am extremely proud of myself and use my experience to help younger women that are thinking of going the tradwife route. ❤️
The thought of my spouse leaving me or passing destroys me, but not because I've lost a source of income; it would be because I lost them... I have a backup plan if that happens, of course, but I don't ever want to use it unless I must.
younger trad couples are so silly bcs it's always a gorgeous queen of a woman electing to be confined to the house with some fat old rat instead of... literally anything else. It's wild that some ppl choose that to me 💀
@PurpleMoonStorm lol what? I'm literally a queer non-binary married to a queer non-binary. I have no dog in this fight, I just hate the hypocrisy. You can't say you're a feminist and then say "BUT this one way of living is really problematic", that's not how it works. Yes, the wife in this video is a dumbass for being anti-feminist, but other than that she's just living her life. She's not promoting anything by existing online. That's the same logic horrible people use when they say that fat people online are promoting obesity.
Being completely financially dependent on your partner is so incredibly dangerous. Earlier I saw a video about this and someone in the comments said something along the lines of “why are you in a relationship with someone you think might betray you lol” and that’s the thing; you never know. You can be with someone for years and years, live with them, even have kids with them and still not know who they really are. People change.
I can handle the "getting married" thing, some move fast and keep it going strong for decades to come, but a baby, I dunno... That's a huge, lifelong commitment. You need quite a long time to make sure you two are going to manage being parents together. Even if you split up later, you must get along enough to not give the child(ren) trauma.
Same. And the tradwife snottily saying "I don't wanna drain my husband" sent me. Like, innuendo department calling, and also $100 per month for managing his whole ass household, the trad husband is making out like a bandit here.
Especially directly after the clip where he's like "It's just genetics." Like sir, are you a geneticist and can you tell exactly what genes dictate that you have to work in an office for 10 hours and financially control your wife? If we let our genetics dictate our life path, we'd still be doing hunter-gather stuff. Society changes faster than genetics, surprise surprise.
I wanna point out how much of a privilege it actually is to choose to stay home.. I live in a country where feeding a family is literally dependent on a two-income-salary.. Food cost here is insanity..
It is in the U.S. too, an incredibly small number of jobs pay enough to support a family and she's also getting influencer money, telling women to chose something that hasn't been viable in decades
The fact that she's sneering at working for a "thankless boss" is SO funny to me when we all know that many men who want these kinds of relationships do not view housework and home-making as a real job that requires effort and time. Also of course your husband can always divorce you, and unlike your "thankless boss", you won't have anything to fall on when it happens -- no savings, no pension, a huge gap in your resumé and because many tradwives are very young they might not even have any skills applicable to jobs that pay a little better than minimum wage.
I’m a disabled veteran. I haven’t worked in years so I stay home and take care of the house and my my wife and i’s daughter. She’s in school so she’s not home during most of the day but I never realized how rough it is to be a “stay at home spouse”. My wife works from home so it’s not 100% on my shoulders but still. Whoever does it has my support.
@@mumenRhyder I think someone did the math to see how much SAHMs would make if they were paid for the work they do, and it was literally so much money... I don't remember the exact number, but they basically looked at jobs like private chefs, babysitters/nannies, etc. and combined the salaries of those to see how much a mother would make in a year if her work was considered equivalent to those jobs and got paid accordingly. I think most mothers would be actual millionaires if their labor was taken seriously enough to compensate them for it
@@catdownthestreethonestly it would be so cool if mothers were paid, as long as there is a good background check to make sure the mom wouldn't be having a child just for money
Know what's worse than being a SAH spouse? Being a MILITARY SAH spouse - trust me I know from experience 😑 eventually divorced my abusive ex husband & the military (14 yrs ago) now I''m freeeeeeeeee!!!! 🎉 People assume single women are sad & lonely however, I have two sons that are in their late twenties and I was a military wife, I'm tired. I need to be left alone for quite some time, so much so that I moved out of state away from everyone. That's just the way it is 🤷🏽♀️
As some getting out of a 6 year (not abusive but unhealthy) relationship that started at 19 where i had no financial independence its been really crazy hearing all my family members talk to me about how worried they were for me and realizing i could have been on the next flight home if i had just been able to take off the rose colored glasses and accept i didn't have to "stick by my man" no matter what he did or how bad things got. Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy
My late husband would give me $250 a week (we had 2 kids as well). But I also had a job and all of my money paid for the kids, groceries, the dog etc. he made 3 times more than me and paid the mortgage. I did 90% of the household duties. I had no access to his money, the mortgage, the utility bills etc. this is a form of financial abuse. If you can’t access his money directly and he controls your spending, that is abuse via financial control. I didn’t realise how messed up my situation was until he became emotionally and verbally abusive. He plays innocent and has probably convinced her that she’s sooooo lucky to have him. I hope she gets her own account and keeps any money she makes for herself. Btw. I’m now a single mother (widow) and I’m far less delusional now than when I was living with a toxic man.
The trad thing is also linked to a lot of privilege. Most women throughout history had to work in some capacity to keep their families fed. I had a friend who stayed home to raise two of her kids because if she didn’t, her paycheck would’ve gone straight to childcare and nothing else. Even then she had a small business to help ends meet while her husband went to a regular job. Being in a trad relationship is only glamorous if you’re weathy
Hi, uni age man here, it is so shocking to me how many of my male peers are so anti-women and actively HATE women. Not to get too into it, but I TA an English class for freshmen, and I have literally had papers (yes, with an s) written by men about how feminism was a mistake and should never have existed and that the woman is submissive to the man. WILD stuff it baffles me everytime I read or hear things like that from people I (previously) thought were.. sane?
Most men literally watch p*rn and apperently see no issue with women being degraded. Like you say, you need to deeply hate women to submit such papers. Imagine being so upset over other people not wanting to be seen as inferior.
@catdownthestreet not necessarily. Plenty if family's I've known ate baffled because they raised their sons to see the genders as equal and then as soon as they hit school society enlists them into typical sexist rhetoric. While parents are a factor, we also can't forget how deeply society favours men over women and kids pick up on that.
Kind of ironic that she doesn't realise that feminism is the reason why she's able to do whatever she's doing now. I don't even feel bad or angry when I see women like her. It's kind of that sad, somber feeling :/
The fact that she doesn't acknowledge that she makes money off her videos while also getting money from her husband is deceitful. Like you said, not everyone has an influencer income, most people have a typical job. Feminism is the reason why she has a platform, is able to speak her mind freely, join the military, vote, go to school or not etc. It's as if these trad wives are missing the fact that they themselves are able to have a choice while our foremothers didn't have a choice to begin with. Side note, I feel like she's the boss in that relationship, like she talked her husband into the idea, since he said he never wanted a trad life beforehand. I understand, it takes two to be in a relationship, but I think the dynamic between them isn't so cut and dry.
I grew up in a household like this. My parents were 30 years apart and they would both outright say she was the “trophy wife” . the trauma is real and something I will never fully heal from. It’s like a domino effect that also affects the rest of your life. It also invites a lot of predatory type people to take advantage of you. I cannot fathom living in this world and as a hairstylist, I can’t tell you how many women have sat in my chair, lived this life, and regretted it all.
I am a teen working at mission bbq and I make 500-600$ every two weeks and there’s no way I work nearly as many hours as she is. She’s being criminally underpaid.
I'm a man and I guess I'm a Trad Wife? My wife and I have been married for 8 years now, together for 15, last year her father got sick, stage 4 colon cancer. Unfortunately he did not survive, at the time I had to leave my job to help take care of him and her. As an only child she inherited everything having lost her mother a few years earlier and ever since she's been working while I stay at home and take care of the place. It's an old farm house, lots to do and lots to fix. Since everything is paid off we can survive on a single income and she tells me she loves having me stay home and fix everything. Thus far I've had to tear down and build a front deck, fix 3 separate tractors, fix vehicles as needed, fix the well pump, etc. On top of the "Masculine" things I also take care of dishes, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. though she does help out when she can.
That sounds great! I have a friend whose husband basically became a SAHD bc childcare for their 2 kids would easily eat up the income he was making as a line cook. In addition to childcare he would of course do other household upkeep, and he took up woodworking and has made some of their home's furniture. It's a pretty good gig and totally doesn't have to be gendered!
I have seen so so many women online talking about how they bought into the traditional dynamic, stopped working, gave all control to their husband and then one day their husbands up and left them -- often for a younger version of them -- and immediately stopped all support and left them broke / homeless / trying to raise their children with no money, home, support, etc. Or even just the husband up and died and they have no idea how to pay the bills, bring in money, etc. The thing that is actually dangerously delusional is to think that marrying a man who vows to always support and protect you is infallible insurance against ever having to take care of yourself, especially because you will end up ten times worse than the bad girls who got jobs and can fend for themselves when necessary. Try getting a job after being out of the workforce for a decade, try getting credit or loans when you haven't bought anything on your own from your own account in years. It's scary and depressing to see women indoctrinated into the belief that all you need to do is be subservient to a man who marries you and you'll be insulated and safe forever.
As a Millennial we are watching Gen Z and we are SO SCARED for y'all. We saw what traditional relationships did to our Boomer moms and grandmas... maybe there's a disconnect Gen Z has from it that makes it look way more appealing than the sadness it was.
I'm not even healt from generational trauma and the kids are already going back. My grandma didn't choose her husband, to the detriment of the whole family line
I also think it might have something to do with what we grew up on like Who's the Boss. Back then they were trying to push women out of the home, now that we are they can't afford for us to go back in, they being the economy. Also want to go with generational trauma watch the series on grandma's talking about their traumatic cute meet stories.
I know this isn’t like 100% the reason, but I know a decent amount of people who want this traditional life are basing it off of 1950’s advertisements/pop culture, not realizing that those sources are biased and present an idealistic view of life at the time. So tldr lacking media literacy/critical thinking, which seems to be lacking in this generation
@@dangermouse4871 One of my sets of grandparents met when he (a veteran) wouldn't stop following her (a 19 year old) around on his bike. The other couple broke up suddenly when she fled the home with her kids and they lived in poverty. Fun!
Gen Z here, nostalgia is very popular on social media. From childhood nostalgia to now the traditional lifestyle topped with perfected idealized videos of said lifestyle has a lot of us cooked. We live in very turbulent times and gen z has grown up around that with things only getting worse. So in my opinion gen z having grown up in a city with a phone glued to their hand have started to reminisce this traditional life. Living on farms and away from cities (vry common theme with big trad wife creators)Things seemed easier, especially with the direction America is currently heading in particularly for women it seems easier to just go with it in someway or stick your head in the sand.
definitely a mix of fetish, hate farming, tv producers who tell them to ham it up, and yes an inherent power dynamic between a significant younger military vet who at one point lived a very structured, rigid life and an older guy who is getting attention from a younger woman. It's actually really common for vets to experience distress after discharge when they loose that structure. Some spiral, some seek other structured organizations (there is an abundance of ex-military in the police force). I hope she gets some sense of peace, eventually.
They forget that just like a boss, your husband can also dump you... the difference is that you can get another job to pay your bills, if your husband dumps you, you have nothing on your name, no resume, and basically no means of getting independent...
If we're going to be intersectional about feminism, I think it's important to remember how disability can affect relationships like this. I'm not able to work a full time job because of disability, so my relationship tends towards more traditional gender roles, and it works for us. But I have been in relationships where I been financially controlled in the past, and even though I don't feel that my current partner would do that, it's enough of a fear for me now that I'm holding onto a part time job that is severely detrimental to my physical and mental health. So I can relate to a lot of what she's saying.
He's not even a traditional husband. He works a desk job. By the way, there is nothing wrong with that, but they are acting like he is going out and building skyscrapers or a doctor with crazy work hours. His job is not that hard, maybe a bit mentally taxing, but so is every job. I bet her views will change once she has that baby and will truly see how much work it is.
It's actually kinda scary that weird trad types feel emboldened to sneer and condemn the childless. Where are they getting this nerve from? It's actually depraved.
I saw a post somewhere that was talking about how almost everything in nature exists on a spectrum and honestly, that‘s a take people don‘t seem to even consider, much less WANT to consider
They're allergic to the term spectrum, also to equity, common sense, changing ones mind etc Truly sad, they need so many epipens and you can't buy many of those with $100 allowance 😔(apparently at best exactly one 2 pack of the generic)
could you explain what 'everything in nature exists on a spectrum' means? genuinely asking by the way, i can sometimes struggle understanding certain wording and might need things explained differently/more clearly (i assume it is because i am autistic but im not sure. it also probably doesn't help that its late at night and im very tired)
@@Bleplebeian i got you! okay so in general, natures just Exists, there aren't any hard and fast rules or categories. all classifications and groupings are humans imposing a kind of organization on natural phenomena and creatures and objects. like if you asked a group of people at what point the color spectrum goes from "yellow" to "orange", they'll all give you a different answer. since nothing in natural is absolute except how we conceive of them, all of nature is a spectrum. (there might be absolutes in nature. i am not a scientist. but generally things are far more subjective than common knowledge would have one believe. like how theres several genes responsible for eye color, and not a simpe 2x2 mendel square)
I can’t get over the scene where they’re shopping for BABY CLOTHES and she’s like “we went shopping on his dime.” I know I’m one of those delusional child free people she was referring to and I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure kids need to be clothed. And presumably he’s the dad. Like, of course he can buy clothes for the kid he helped create? WTF?!
They have absolutely no chemistry. Maybe she secured a lifetime of support, and he just doesn’t know it yet… She has an alimony claim, because she quit school.
I applaud you for explaining a distinction between radical feminism and feminism as a whole. There's all different types of people out there. You can't realistically expect the loudest individuals to accurately represent the whole group.
Need a pallette cleanser? I'm a bi woman who just started their first relationship with a woman. And it is the best one I've ever been part of. Ugghh, women❤
My parents, who have a healthy long lasting marriage, will ALWAYS bring out the "keep separate bank accounts" advice when asked. They're both financially responsible, but have vastly different spending habits, and they say time and again that separate bank accounts has saved them MANY stupid arguments over the years. It's good advice even with a good partner who you can 100% trust and rely on! Honestly INSANE to me that ANYONE would willingly give up their own accounts and credit card!! It's not even a "trad" thing to do- it's just hardcore all day every day cosplay!
I thought the sweater looked creepily familiar. Chris Chan reference is wild and I hate that I have become a Christorian. At first everything I learnt was not by choice now I need to know everything
Kind of reminds me of the handmaids tale when serena was an influencer but then hated it when she got what she wanted. Then was shocked when the men stopped respecting her
There's a right wing political party in my country and some of the women are talking abt how feminism is bad and has always been bad. Like.. girl, you're literally a politician talking in front of a bunch of men and wearing trousers. Doesn't seem like you enjoy staying in the kitchen either 💀
it's so sad when you watch a couple being interviewed and one of them is clearly brainwashed and doing all the talking, while the other sits there smugly
I am always rubbed the wrong way by their description of corporate jobs. It always tells me they must have been crappy workers. A bad experience can happen to anyone, but to the point you decide paid work is not for you? I am European: I have always been looking forward to go back to my job after each of my three (4 or5 months, fully paid) maternity leaves.
I helped my sister out with kids and caring for babies was so much harder for me than my full time job. And even though I just helped out I felt trapped bc I was at the home, cleaning, caring for the babies, caring for the animals. I had less free time than with a full time job. So I have such a deep respect for the moms out there. You can be so proud of yourself for raising your kids
If it helps in the U.S only 41% of women get PAID maternity leave for an average 3.3 weeks, the U.S average maternity leave time is 10 weeks so no matter what you’re losing income
@adri5640 I know. That is my point: I was looking forward to go back to work even if I kept being paid. Do you mean conditions in USA are worse and that is why people reject corporate jobs? Might be indeed, I cannot compare, I have worked in different countries, but always in Europe.
@@Rechtauch I am also a woman who prefers work but criticism of corporate jobs doesn’t make us crappy workers, there are deeper issues such as our maternity leave not being paid and not being long enough, missing work after a long time away is understandable but we aren’t given the privilege to be paid to rest
@adri5640 if I were you, I would not blame as "priviledged" those who enjoy the maternity leave, but rather claim what is just a basic right. Having kids is something you do for you, but also for society. You are literally producing future workers, and you have the right to be paid for it. Precisely as European I cannot phantom that you do not have maternity support and I just cannot understand why you have not already revolted about it. But against companies and governments, not against other workers...
There's always this assumption that women are choosing to work. How else are we going to pay our bills? It's not a political statement to WORK, when the economy is ROUGH. I know lots of men and women who would have loved to stay home when their kids were little, but they didn't have that option no matter how "traditional" they are.
Right that's the part that is so frustrating to me. Reality is that for most people, we don't have an economy that living on one income is possible without some huge sacrifices that will be detrimental for years afterwards. So to tell women that this is the way to go, is dangerous because to survive on this planet, money is required unfortunately.
@@saldiamond Exactly, especially when the message is being told to young people who don't quite realize social media is 99% fake. They could make a decision that straight up messes up their life.
going off of the "are people who physically can't have children delusional?" thing, earlier in the tweet she says surrogacy. i'm imagining she doesn't have the highest view of adoption since the "issue" with surrogacy seems to be that your child isn't "yours", so what are people with fertility issues supposed to do?
Im a disabled bisexual afab transmasc person. I have ONLY ever worked under women. Idk why Ally thinks only men are in higher up positions. Plus people can criticize her at any age. I just turned 30 this year and have been with the same wonderful man for 12 years. So idk where she is getting the single stereotype either lol. Keep on doing what youre doing AnnaMarie. Love your channel❤ Plus in this economy we cant afford to only have one income!!! (For the majority of people myself included) 10:08 I think it usually a red flag to drop out of school for a partner UNLESS they are terminally ill or something where they need help for a bit. AND it should be the choice of the partner going to school to do so as you said!!!
I was watching this in the living room and my roommates boyfriend said your forehead is symmetrical and that if he took a level it would be level. He means this as a compliment.
She’s only 28 and she’s been with him 2 1/2 years, presumably maybe about 6 months of which she’s been pregnant? I just keep thinking about how she’s going to feel 5-10 years down the road with 2-3+ kids, because right now is the easiest her life will ever be going forward, I can only imagine how burnt out and exhausted she probably felt, being in the military and going to college. To be honest, sometimes it does sound nice for someone just to take care of you and to not have to work, I know many young 20s women who have said they wish they didn’t have to work. (I think most of us don’t love having the ridiculous work/life balance that our society upholds for the majority just to meet base costs of living.) But it makes me just worried about the toll this will take on her, I just don’t know if she’ll feel the same way when she’s burnt out and exhausted and lonely doing this plus children for a decade. Maybe I’m wrong, but it just makes me sad for future her.
My sister got married young and is a stay at home mom. It wasn’t always her plan but she has an autistic child so in the end it is much cheaper than finding specialized care for him. Never once has she shamed me or my other sisters for not following that same path. There have been times that are extremely difficult only having one source of income. If your partner all of the sudden stops making as much as they did then you may need to start making money also.
my main question is what if you get burnt out? you can get paid leave at a job but you cant for being a 24/7 sah mom. will he pick up the slack or weaponize his incompetence until youre miserably tired and overwhelmed? but hey maybe thats just me and girlie will never want a break 🤷♀
@@mattcottrell3286my mom was a cleaning lady full time and cooked, cleaned all alone when she was with her partner of over 10yrs. She was literally waking up at 5 to clean homes for 8hrs then came home to clean their home alone. After they broke up he literally asked her to clean bc he didn't want to pay hundreds of bucks for someone to come over ONCE a week! The entitlement is just crazy
As a straight guy, I can't imagine why I would want to totally financially provide for another adult just because we're in a relationship! And what could you talk about when you spend time together: "So, anything exciting happen while you were doing my laundry for me today?" I'd rather be with someone who has goals, interests, and ideas that are independent of me. A partner shouldn't be "a maid/cook I have sex with."
People can have hobbies... I'm confused why everyone seems to imply that if you're a stay at home spouse the only things you do are cooking and housework. That takes maybe 20 hrs a week, a stay at home spouse can have tons of time for hobbies, volunteering, etc. You're not automatically boring just because you don't work out of the home 🙃
Problem is that most women do also work and even when women work full time the men don't do much of the chores or child care. I also think it's way easier for both people to split chores and child care. Depending on the jobs and income both can also work part time. You would have less money but more time with the family.
I am a queer woman in a relationship with a man and he cooks all the meals. He is a fantastic cook and really enjoys cooking for us. It is definitely one of his love languages. He also takes care of the dishes (even though I always offer to help, especially after he cooks big meals) and I take care of the laundry. Folding and putting away clean laundry is very relaxing for me and I like to listen to podcasts while I do it. We both split any other tasks around the house, but because I work from home I also don't mind helping out more. I also take care of financial stuff but we split the costs (rent, utilities, internet, etc). He just sends me his portion of everything and I pay for it. It eases my anxiety to be in charge of that. We have separate bank accounts but we have talked about getting a shared one if we ever decide to try to buy a house. This arrangement seems to be working pretty great for us 🥰
Asking genuinely cause I’m confused. So your a women who is sexually attracted to women but married to a man? Do you date women? Or like how does work? Obviously you don’t have to answer anything you’re not comfortable with. I’m just curious ☺️
@@Chelseaaa626 Queer doesn't necessarily mean homosexual. In today's context, it just means "not 100% straight". Could be used to refer to a bisexual or pansexual person, for exampe.
@Chelseaaa626 haha no it's okay, I get your confusion. I like the term queer because it is a bit more complicated than just saying I'm bisexual. Queer feels like it includes all the nuisances to my sexuality and my romantic feelings for others. I hope this helps 🥰
@ I’m kinda still confused. I consider myself bisexual but I am also married to a man. I am sexually attracted to women. Idk if that helps clarify lol. What is the difference between bisexual and queer? Also if I ask an offensive question it say something offensive please educate me. I am genuinely curious and not trying to be bad faith or a butthead. And please feel free to not answer anything you don’t want too 💕
@@Chelseaaa626 I don't find your questions offensive at all. You come across as being genuinely curious and just trying to learn more. I find it easier to call myself a queer woman when I am actually an omniromantic demisexual. It can be kind of a headache to keep explaining what that means, especially to non-queer/cis people. That's why I prefer using the term queer 😊 please let me know if you have anymore questions 💜
Never planned on marriage or kids, let alone being a stay at home mom, but once I had my first child, I couldn’t bear the thought of sending her to daycare. My husband and I talked and it was important to both of us for one of us to stay home and it just felt right for me at the time. We had two more kids and it has been some wild child rearing years but I really do feel so lucky to be raising a family. I’ll join the workforce again one day but right now I’m happy where I am. It really isn’t for everyone and some days are really tough. My husbands job is very demanding, but he’s present and does his share with the house and kids when he’s home. Took us a while to get to this point but the sacrifice has been worth it. I do not understand the relationship portrayed in this video….
"How are millenials more progressive than us". Well, Gen z is being raised by gen X and Gen x has gone full wackadoodle so a ton of gen z men are being raised with those views.
@girlplease2452 the sooner you accept that gen z men came out for Trump in a major way and aren't better than other generations of men, the sooner you can stop having this rose tinted view about gen z and the people who raised them. Stop making excuses for men of a generation that haven't shown themselves to be much better than the ones that came before.
Both of yall should do some reading on why generational groupings and judging those groups as a whole is nonsensical. Shitty people come from all generations and demographics.
18:45 The frontal lobe is fully developed at 25 thing is a myth btw, and has been debunked a bunch of times. But I do agree that someone should have a good few years of actual life experience before getting into a relationship with someone way older
As a former psychology student i disagree, it's not really a myth except it might be too rough of a line to draw, since not everyone matures exactly the same, the human brain takes a long time to develop however
Something missing is the gratification maaaaany women get from contributing financially to a relationship/household. WE paid for this couch, this TV, this downpayment, this vacation. We worked for these things, we warned them. Together, we can delight in their spoils as equals. It's not always "thank you, honey."
Listen I’m SO thankful for my partner. One part of me wants to drop out just to work and have more time with them, but they KNOW how much I worked for this and was like “absolutely not you are not dropping out” . Sometimes a supportive partner means helping remind you of your goals that you had before you met them!
15:18 agreed. My wife and I have a joint account for joint expenses like rent and things, and we have our own accounts to do what we want. It just makes sense
I went to a small liberal arts college and many of my friends entered into traditional hetero marriages (I instead discovered I was gay AF but that’s another story) and the hardest thing I see is that in many of their marriages, they’re set in a traditional mold of “ man works away from home and woman takes care of children/home” but then the woman is also expected to bring in a second income while also fulfilling their traditional role. They’re balancing working from home with their children on their lap and cleaning during their breaks with next to no time to even remember who they are or what they like, and the husband is gone all day and then allowed to put his feet up in his man cave and enjoy his hobbies/relaxation practices once he’s home.
Since i date a girl we both stay at home and Kiss
good for both of you
wuh luh wuh
And history will say you were roommates 🥰🥰
@@Sa1ntNicolaswooloo!
The unstoppable asexual urge to break the 69 like number.
"My husband won't fire me" you ever heard of divorce?
she's gonna have a hell of a pikachu face when he gonna divorce for a younger woman. These type of man always do.
I’ve heard of women getting divorced after being in a “traditional” marriage and then struggling because she hasn’t worked since she was young, if ever.
Men who marry very young women like them typically divorce once she starts aging like him so he can get another younger wife. They won't learn until after it happens to them.
@@Davinana44 I’m disabled and divorced, I was a homemaker for ten years so little to no work history anyways. It is not easy and that’s with a paid for car and house, literally just paying bills and I’m struggling. To the younger generation, please don’t give up your financial independence to be a homemaker, it’s not worth the risk.
Trad husbands don’t believe in divorce.
“i’m not a white supremacist, I have a latino wife!”
same energy as “I’m not racist, I have black friends!”
Yep! I am surprised that so little people are commenting on the racial/ethnic microagressions sprinkled throughout the video.
@ I honestly would have believed him if he didn’t have the most guilty response in the book. If he had just left it at “i’m not a white supremacist” it would have at least been believable that his subconscious was in denial. but the amount of times i’ve seen stuff like “how can i be a neo-nazi if i’m black/jewish?”….
Albedo pfp spotted
@@catdownthestreetAlbedo doesn't see color
I had an acquaintance who was white & married to a black woman. One day he posted that all Mexicans are ugly. A couple people told them they were Mexican, and he said they were only attractive because they "Have Aztec DNA" When people started calling him racist, he said "I can't be racist, my wife is black" Even when people pointed out that you can be racist towards one or more races & not towards others, he just kept doubling down. I know he lost 5 or more friends that day. So, yeah...
Protection?? From what?? He doesn't look like he could protect her from a strong breeze
he's literally one sneeze away from shitting his colon out lmao
@@Hal-fx9xx that's an image 😭
Dam yall mean asl ☠️
And her not having bank accounts or assets in her name definitely doesn't protect her in case he is injured or unalived. He is providing no financial protection, just gives her an allowance.
@@cvelasquez8041y’know, like parent does to a child
Can we address the fact that working 40 hrs a week ISNT A CHOICE IN TODAYS ECONOMY. MOST PEOPLE CANNOT RAISE A FAMILY ON ONE INCOME.
also my understanding is that in the us many people have to work overtime (i’m from poland tho so this is based from what i read/see online) which makes me even more sad that she would make those people feel bad
YES!!!
I heard that and I thought… yea nah 40h is the minimum work time.
Thats definitely true. Most of the blue collar jobs here that pay decently have a minimum 50 hour week. They also try to sell you some work life balance lie. Americans are running themselves into the ground and get mad at other people for trying to say this shouldnt be the norm.@orangemelon92
them happily professing they cancelled her bank account was terrifying. when it was just my dad who worked, my mom would have to ask for permission to buy EVERYTHING even groceries. being financially restricted is a very scary premise to me
Those men would HATE it to ask a woman for money. If you wanna be traditional then half of his income should be sent to her bank account so she can buy stuff. Like wtf
There is no way $5,200 a year is more than she was making in the military.
According to the army's website, a Private makes approx. 24,000 to 27,000 a year, and from a cursory look, the other branches pay similar rates.
Its the influencer paycheck she likes to pretend doesn't exist lol
Plus military benefits are worth a lot. She is just flat out lying.
I was confused by that too but then she mentioned having insurance coverage and a home with everything paid, so she's counting that. But that would be like a 16 year old counting their parents' house as their income, it's dumb lol. I sincerely hope her name is on the house, cars, etc because if not she doesn't own anything, she lives in his house, like a kid
despite popular belief, the military doesnt actually make that much at all. they typically make less than the average working american
I think is super extra funny when trad wives say "In your job they will fire you tomorrow, my husband wont fire me :( " oh honey, divorces exist, he will totally dump you for a newer model
Literally! And they don’t talk about when these trad wives get divorced, they have to start their lives over. Their husbands leave them NOTHING. These men do not care about you lol. They care about the control.
They never fully commit to the comparison either. If you're fired, there's still several benefits you can get. You can qualify for receiving unemployment, you might get severence pay, at the very least there is not a gap on your resume and that job can help you monkey branch to something better.
I don't think that you will get a lot of approval going on a date and opening with "yeah I've been married three times so I got a lot of experience." Monkey ranching a relationship is downright immoral and doesn't work 99% of the time cause someone has to be cool with cheating. And from empirical evidence we know husband's tend to drop support for their CHILDREN, much less their exes, as soon as they're not there. Even in cases of court mandates.
Not just divorce, but he could die tomorrow. If her name isn't listed on any of the accounts or specified as the beneficiary, good luck getting access to those funds. I've had a few friends who lost their spouse suddenly and everything was in the spouse's name, took forever to gain access to even the bank account.
There are tons of tradwives that get kicked to the curb because the husband has a mistress he’d rather be with, and unlike cases with most jobs, they tend to get left destitute because without prior job experience, they aren’t seen as the most viable option for jobs.
My job is much less likely to murder me too 🤗
Trad-influencers: snooty, tone deaf, blind to their own privilege, and getting weirder and creepier every year.
And yet...they all work
@@arnitaxavier9446they’re the girl bosses they claim to hate so much
I can’t tell if they really believe their own lies or not
Yeah it’s easy to tell other women to stop working and fully rely on their partners when they have their own influencer income
They’re as out of touch as any rich idiot
Femenist sahm here! Before i left the workforce last year, my husband and i discussed what my job description would be. I agreed to provide daytime care for our children, manage any doctors appointments that fall within weekday business hours, provide meals and activities. My husband and i share ALL other household duties and childcare. In fact, when he gets home he completely takes over with the kids. We have a cleaner come every other week. I dont know how so many of these women got the crappiest deal when it comes to their home life and division of labor and wonder why others dont want their lives??
tbh i think a lot of these wives don’t realize that their labor distributions are unfair. they’re all very stuck in their ways, imo. i think all the pushback just pushes them into it further tbh.
This is the way tbh
Like I enjoy being a provider, but me & my other family members all take care of the house together
The only thing I avoid doing is cooking dinner unless I have to lol
as a survivor of DV, these trad wife influencers make me feel sick ya'll
The way they talk about their fellow women, who I'm sure are in their comment s3ctions saying this isn't how women think at all... it's just evil. It's internalized misogyny
As a kid raised in it, same. It boggles my mind
@@MickeyA-s3w it's their choice
@ oh shit i didn't realize that! you got me! (you have shit for brains
She's talking about how it's bad for women to work, because a "thankless boss" is able to replace you... Girl, I hate to tell you, but there's nothing stopping your husband from replacing you, either.
Thhaaaaannnkkkk yoouuuu!! I was thinking this the whole time! And it's scary but because of the age gap, I am more inclined to think it is a better chance of him dumping her for someone younger in the future.
Right if anything at least you have worker's rights and can sue for being wrongfully fired but your husband could just divorce you for any reason and leave you in the dust nothing is stopping him from doing that
@@palithaolden8214Yes, this poor poor lady. If course I hope it doesn't happen, but he looks the part...
Being a wife and mother is also quite thankless 😆
Especially him being so proud of dating a 27 year old… Wait till she is 35 and he decides he wants a new trophy
I hate when women like this sneer at those who are child-less or single. Just because they tie their worth to having a man, doesn’t mean they should be able to push that awful rhetoric onto everyone else. Just disgusting.
the dig at single women over 30 lmao
@@nari5161it’s funny bc it’s like… sorry was I supposed to curl up in a ball and die? This isn’t Logan’s run
I hate how women can sleep around and get pregnant then blame every man besides themselves for putting themselves in that situation.
@gosha7673 Ooh don't love this. Let's please stop shaming women for having sex and let's start shaming men for impregnating women🥰
@@gosha7673 Cry about it in your diary, babe. Plenty of men do the same thing.
You know what grinds my gears about the whole trad wife thing? The belief that the man doesn't have to do anything around the house or only things that are "masculine" like mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage.
My parents had a traditional marriage. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked. She had always wanted to be a SAHM so she was very happy about it. But when my dad got home from work, he didn't just sit on the couch all night doing nothing. He often cooked (usually weekend breakfast but sometimes dinner), would play or hang out with me and my sister, do dishes, do laundry, etc. There were times he was exhausted from work and would sit and watch a movie, which we usually joined him in watching. But it was very much a partnership.
These trad relationships today are so stereotypical and forced into these rigid boxes that it makes them ridiculous.
Back then it wasnt different. Men mostly didn't do anything but work
While I'm glad that is your experience, I can promise you that's not the experience for even working women. See the "Three shifts" phenomenon that many modern women have to endure.
@fawnieee then they wonder why they get divorced
Yup, that exactly how my parents are. Ironically, they’re still married, compared to all these other “traditionalists” that have a long line of divorces
@jackiealexander92530 Yup. My parents would still be married today if my dad hadn't passed away.
Hi, I'm 36 and I used to have a boyfriend, we moved in together at one point but I never forgot what my mother always told me: "Buy your own stuff, anything you need that would be useful in your everyday life, so that if someday everything goes south, you'd at least have YOUR OWN things that you bought with your own money." I did precisely that, I had washing machine, a fridge, two ACs, a bed, etc... One day, after 13 years together, everything was over due to our mental health, but I at least had my stuff to fill an apartment. He had to start from scratch bc he was never very mature about his purchases but I was. It might sound selfish, but yeah, DO NOT RELY on some else's money bc your current life will probably not stay the same forever
What's selfish abt simply surviving after a break up? Who knows, some women get pregant, some risk poverty. You were being mature, not selfish.
It's not selfish to look after yourself. You come first because it's *your* life
"My husband won't fire me", girl you don't wanna know what has become of the trad wives of the past who are living on minimum wage supporting multiple kids
I love how the trad wives seem to forget that divorce will also leave you as financially destitute as your husband-boss only giving you $100 a week
Apparently, SAHM are the worst women to divorce from given the fact they literally have to start from scratch following the divorce. There's usually a lot of anxiety involved, which means a lot of the divorce sometimes drag out. This is in cases where the man suddenly decides to divorce. Which is rather ironic given the amount of trad alpha men who insist on women being SAHM.
I know it's supposed to be trad wives but triad wives like they're some sort of gang is sending me
@@Malcorpse Me too😂
@@Malcorpseomg the text to speech failed me 😭
unrelated but your pfp is so cute!!
She says women choose to submit to the authority of a boss in a workplace as a foil for her being in this relationship but...I dunno, I get to go home after work and my boss doesn't have any say in how I spend my money, I don't have to do their chores or make their meals. Heck, I don't even think about my boss outside of work hours.
The vast majority of people don't have to f their old ahh boss
I may also not want to sleep with my boss!
This is literally how many misogynistic men think too. One guy in my family is like this and guess what. Would he like to he in the position of the wife? Of course not.
I don’t comprehend how people think women don’t run any businesses. Like, there’s a mostly-women surveying and consulting company near me, there’s dozens of small businesses owned and run entirely by women, most of the management in the company I work for are women despite having slightly over half the company being men, it’s just baffling to me she thinks that “boss=man” just because she’s military… I literally have an aunt who was a sergeant, I don’t get this idea of women not owning or calling shots on things
I also don't depend on my boss's continued attraction and love for me for survival. I only have to do my job for x hours per day, I don't have to do a job as "perfect wife" 24/7.
It's really illustrative to me that her argument boils down to "wouldn't you rather be in service to a husband who loves you rather than a boss that doesn't." It's a sneaky fallacy, because the answer to the question is obviously yes.
But it just assumes that there is no life a woman could be other than one in service to a man. It's like the possibility of any kind of independence whatsoever has not even occurred to her. Not even an equal partnership, just servitude.
Edit because some commenters convinced me of an even better point: Even that initial fallacy falls apart for most people if you consider the implications for more than a few moments.
Also you can come home from work. You can't come home from home.
And she's technically self-employed, which a single person can be. She's not being genuine.
She's also leaving out the choice of being your own boss lol
rhymes with grift.. oh wait no that's the word
Isn't that more of an critic on captilaism and our work life balance if we all worked less , were actually paid well to cover our bills and to engage in our hobbies and didn't have dìckhead bosses then that whole argument would fall apart beacuse women could make their own money and enjoy their job but that has nothing to do with gender I never understood that argument
Controlling someone's income and job is financial abuse. The show/book Maid is really good about showing how toxic this can be. My mom was cut off from my dad's money in 2020, but he only lets her have a part-time job in order to better "take care of us" (we're all in college or beyond) and shames her when she asks for help on groceries. She actually has a savings account that he knows about for when she gets divorced, but he uses this against her when she asks about any money for necessities.
Why was she cut off by her husbands money? He sounds horrible, is there anything you can do to help her get out of there? :(
My mom had a similiar thing going on, but she worked full time and did everything. She wouldn't listen to me saying it's not ok how she is treated
@@van_ol1056 She's divorcing him next spring, and he gave no good reason for cutting her off.
@justaguynamedx I'm sorry your mom has to go through that. Maybe she will be happier on her own, my mom was having a glow up after breaking up with her long term partner.
My mother always told me that being a feminist means you accept what all women want to do with their own lives. You accept that your friend wants to get married to her high school sweet heart and be a stay at home mom and you accept your friends who choose a career. As long as it’s their choice to do so and a man is not forcing them, then who am I to tell them they’re wrong?
- a 34 year old single woman who’d rather be alone than ever find a relationship like this, while also understanding when it’s her choice 😭
yeah part of being a feminist is she can have that opinion and we respect that is the lifestyle she chooses. i don’t agree but that’s what she wants
Every day it quite literally feels like we are closer and closer to being back in the 1950s, and this cringy-ass "Trad-Couple" movement further proves that. We are living in the darkest and stupidest timeline rn ISTG.
This is the timeline we only got the deloreon up to 87mph
It proves the opposite to me. Content about a traditional wife was the norm back then and promoting the opposite was the controversial opinion. Now it has changed so massively that traditional wives are the controversial ones. I don't see the reason to judge any lifestyle that doesn't cause harm to others. Her talking about what makes her happy and therefore what she thinks others would be happy with is fine, but arguing against her opinions on how all women should be made to live is a valuable conversation.
@@Bonsho norm doesn't necessarily equal good, the criticism is mostly due to the loss of security that comes with becoming a SAHM/tradwife dynamic especially during a time period where the cost of living is stupid expensive for a single income, as well as the hypocrisy of a social media influencer claiming she doesn't have a job outside the home. I was raised by a SAHP who didn't do the online influencer grift and currently cleaning up the legal nightmare of losing the "breadwinner" of the family to cancer, what people like this lady does is promote propaganda that doesn't match up to reality for those who are disillusioned with the 9-5; The "traditional" lifestyle was always reserved for the rich, not your common layfolk like her viewers
@@lazyperfectionist3978 All life choices have risks. For example: someone wants independence so they live alone, but they get into an accident and can no longer work and can't get disability. They risk losing everything. And to be clear before I continue, I have no desire for a traditional household as I live alone on my own income, but it has positives. For example: childcare is insanely expensive, so unless both parents make more than the costs, it would be beneficial (in some cases) for one of them to be stay-at-home. And to cover risks they have options for life insurance and alimony. A very flawed and risky system and government intervention would help a lot, but this is what we have right now. I don't really have any arguments for this specific person. I don't know how much she makes being an influencer or the details of her life leading up to this, I was just commenting on the OPs lamentation that content like hers exists. We shouldn't say any lifestyle is right or wrong because we don't know what the future for any one person holds.
@@Bonshoshe’s not only talking about what makes her happy, she’s openly criticizing everything that allowed her to make that choice. You obviously didn’t watch the video 🤡
Financial freedom separate from spouses is so important. We never want to believe relationships will end but when they do, starting over with no money, no belongings of your own, and minimal experience with tasks like paying bills is a nightmare. Unfortunately, homemaker doesnt look great on resumes.
Same with prenups, it doesn't mean I dont love/trust my partner it's just a way for me not to have someone take 50% of my hard earned 401k
@LeveldUp11 exactly! It can protect couples from each other's personal debts too
You're so right! My parents have seperate finances and a bit that's mutual. It both helps with individuality (they buy things for themselves with comfort, fully communicating about bigger expences but having their idependance with smaller ones) and they also can do stuff for each other, treating each other to stuff, buying gifts etc. I think they enjoy it and it makes a huge part of why they work. They have been together since being 16 and 20 resoectivly, it's been a quater of a century and some more
It absolutely should look good on resumes! Being a homemaker is being a project manager, and that is not easy. My partner is a professional project manager who now takes care of our home. This is the best relationship I've ever been in, he is a fucking genius and so on top of everything.
Yup, no bank accounts, car loan, credit card, lease, etc in your name = no credit score. Which means if you are left, or have to leave...there is very little chance you will have an easy time renting a new apartment, opening a bank account, etc... because you will have a massive gap in your employment and credit history (if you have any thing at all depending how old you were when you got sucked in to being financially dependent/controlled/abused), where they will have concerns about what you were doing. And if you end up with a vindictive ex, who knows what lies they might spread about you.
This is financial abuse. Cut and dry.
Can I please ask for you to explain what this is
Literally like textbook definition
@@hunterspears9168when you make someone financially dependent on you so they can’t leave you bc they don’t have anything to fall back on
Nah dude, she's a "gold digger" You know, the thing that men are always shaming women for being...
@@EYESTRA1Ngreat explanation!
The way my jaw dropped when he said they cancel all of her credit cards and she very discipline. I was raised to always have a safety net no matter what for yourself.
I’m 65. My mother had to ask for permission to work so Ive lived my life in the middle of the feminist movement. To think that these young women would willingly give over all that our mothers fought for, got divorced for, burned bras for, just because of their human need to be thought of as persons! How can this be happening! It’s like the antivaxing business. People forget the horrors of what the world was like when your friend got polio and didn’t come back to school or you started coughing and the neighbours got whooping cough. I am afraid.
I'm a GenX'r. I find the whole Trad-wife thing SUPER concerning. Like you, I'm not talking about SAHP. I'm talking about people like that influencer. It's borderline dangerous. Also, that age gap is gross. I dated a much older dude when I was 22. I regret it to this day. He was mentally and sexually abusive. He also tried to destroy my life after I dumped him for his nasty behavior. No way on Gaia's green earth would I ever do anything like that again. I can't even imagine why anyone would do this VOLUNTARILY. Ugh.
When I was 18 I unfortunately was manipulated by way too many men over 40. I'm almost 30 now and it makes me sick when I think about it.
This has nothing to do with your comment, but I cracked up at "Gaia's green earth" because she literally is the earth
I got happy when I saw ‘Gaia’s green earth’
My sister was too, he dumped her for a 15 year old schoolmate when she was 18. 🤮
@@mumenRhyderI'm 41, if I happened to date a 18 year old my intention is no different than a man in their 20s.
I was a trad wife and these women have NO idea what life ahead of them is going to be like if he 1) falls out of love 2) becomes abu$ive 3) develops a serious addiction or 4)dies. It breaks my heart to see so many in Gen Z go for this shit, but I get it, it seems appealing because they're burnt TF out by the time they're in high school and they don't have the capacity, depending on their age, to be able to see how it will most certainly impact their future. This woman is brainwashed full stop, she spouts all of the fundamentalist talking points. It took me 10 years to rebuild my life after my trad marriage.
Congrats on rebuilding it! You can be very proud of yourself, it probably was very hard to do so.
Yeah these influencers are out of touch. Like lady, you do have a job, an income to fall back on if and when the relationship ends. Don't encourage other women to not have a backup plan hypocrite!!
@van_ol1056 Thank you so much! It has been quite the journey, including completely deconstructing from Christianity as well but I am extremely proud of myself and use my experience to help younger women that are thinking of going the tradwife route. ❤️
The thought of my spouse leaving me or passing destroys me, but not because I've lost a source of income; it would be because I lost them...
I have a backup plan if that happens, of course, but I don't ever want to use it unless I must.
younger trad couples are so silly bcs it's always a gorgeous queen of a woman electing to be confined to the house with some fat old rat instead of... literally anything else. It's wild that some ppl choose that to me 💀
Lol for a second I thought you were saying "it's wild that some people choose that over me"
And you know, fair enough.
@theDDutchie88 I mean I'm not a woman dater but yes
@@sagethevvitchthat's fair. It's just very common in these trad relationships between men and women.
It definitely sucks but I’m not a fan of the whole body shaming thing lol. As if they were a skinny old rat would be better lol
@PurpleMoonStorm lol what? I'm literally a queer non-binary married to a queer non-binary. I have no dog in this fight, I just hate the hypocrisy. You can't say you're a feminist and then say "BUT this one way of living is really problematic", that's not how it works.
Yes, the wife in this video is a dumbass for being anti-feminist, but other than that she's just living her life. She's not promoting anything by existing online. That's the same logic horrible people use when they say that fat people online are promoting obesity.
Being completely financially dependent on your partner is so incredibly dangerous. Earlier I saw a video about this and someone in the comments said something along the lines of “why are you in a relationship with someone you think might betray you lol” and that’s the thing; you never know. You can be with someone for years and years, live with them, even have kids with them and still not know who they really are. People change.
11:33 does she realise that feminisim is the reason why she has the CHOICE to be a house wife and why she had the choice to go to school?
No she's too much of a grifter
Getting married and having a baby after only 2 years of dating is so crazy to me.
And dating someone who is old enough to be her dad at that! I was not expecting the 23 year age gap!
Agreed!
I can handle the "getting married" thing, some move fast and keep it going strong for decades to come, but a baby, I dunno... That's a huge, lifelong commitment. You need quite a long time to make sure you two are going to manage being parents together. Even if you split up later, you must get along enough to not give the child(ren) trauma.
Having a baby from a 51 years old man is even crazier
Ive been with my bf for 4 years, still too soon for marriage for me, and i sure as hell dont want kids, let alone that soon
Im sorry but hearing the husband say “I am in my masculine” in combination with the energy hes giving, I burst out laughing 😭
Same. And the tradwife snottily saying "I don't wanna drain my husband" sent me. Like, innuendo department calling, and also $100 per month for managing his whole ass household, the trad husband is making out like a bandit here.
He gives tired grandpa energy
Especially directly after the clip where he's like "It's just genetics." Like sir, are you a geneticist and can you tell exactly what genes dictate that you have to work in an office for 10 hours and financially control your wife? If we let our genetics dictate our life path, we'd still be doing hunter-gather stuff. Society changes faster than genetics, surprise surprise.
“I am in my masculine” 👴🏻🤓☝️
I wanna point out how much of a privilege it actually is to choose to stay home.. I live in a country where feeding a family is literally dependent on a two-income-salary.. Food cost here is insanity..
It is in the U.S. too, an incredibly small number of jobs pay enough to support a family and she's also getting influencer money, telling women to chose something that hasn't been viable in decades
So does she! Only the wealthiest families can afford to live on one income in the US.
@@nari5161And getting paid and getting attention for spouting this BS
It‘s not a privilege to stay home, it‘s a privilege to have a partner who stays home and does all your dirty work for you!
It's also a privilege to be able to work,
It's all about perspective
The fact that she's sneering at working for a "thankless boss" is SO funny to me when we all know that many men who want these kinds of relationships do not view housework and home-making as a real job that requires effort and time. Also of course your husband can always divorce you, and unlike your "thankless boss", you won't have anything to fall on when it happens -- no savings, no pension, a huge gap in your resumé and because many tradwives are very young they might not even have any skills applicable to jobs that pay a little better than minimum wage.
I’m a disabled veteran. I haven’t worked in years so I stay home and take care of the house and my my wife and i’s daughter. She’s in school so she’s not home during most of the day but I never realized how rough it is to be a “stay at home spouse”. My wife works from home so it’s not 100% on my shoulders but still. Whoever does it has my support.
100 dollars for domestic labor? God this is definitely an abuse. I couldn't even joke about it.
$100 is nothing for that kind of labor
@@mumenRhyder I think someone did the math to see how much SAHMs would make if they were paid for the work they do, and it was literally so much money... I don't remember the exact number, but they basically looked at jobs like private chefs, babysitters/nannies, etc. and combined the salaries of those to see how much a mother would make in a year if her work was considered equivalent to those jobs and got paid accordingly. I think most mothers would be actual millionaires if their labor was taken seriously enough to compensate them for it
@@catdownthestreetI just looked it up and they figured the average would be $162,000 a year... and that's just an average.
@@catdownthestreethonestly it would be so cool if mothers were paid, as long as there is a good background check to make sure the mom wouldn't be having a child just for money
100 a WEEK nonetheless. that's less than someone's paycheck in a DAY. god even if this is her choice i can't help but feel pity for her...
Know what's worse than being a SAH spouse? Being a MILITARY SAH spouse - trust me I know from experience 😑 eventually divorced my abusive ex husband & the military (14 yrs ago) now I''m freeeeeeeeee!!!! 🎉 People assume single women are sad & lonely however, I have two sons that are in their late twenties and I was a military wife, I'm tired. I need to be left alone for quite some time, so much so that I moved out of state away from everyone. That's just the way it is 🤷🏽♀️
I hope you can get the time to recover that you deserve! It's great you are out there, it's not easy. Wohooo, cheers to you🎉
As some getting out of a 6 year (not abusive but unhealthy) relationship that started at 19 where i had no financial independence its been really crazy hearing all my family members talk to me about how worried they were for me and realizing i could have been on the next flight home if i had just been able to take off the rose colored glasses and accept i didn't have to "stick by my man" no matter what he did or how bad things got. Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy
My late husband would give me $250 a week (we had 2 kids as well). But I also had a job and all of my money paid for the kids, groceries, the dog etc. he made 3 times more than me and paid the mortgage. I did 90% of the household duties. I had no access to his money, the mortgage, the utility bills etc. this is a form of financial abuse. If you can’t access his money directly and he controls your spending, that is abuse via financial control. I didn’t realise how messed up my situation was until he became emotionally and verbally abusive. He plays innocent and has probably convinced her that she’s sooooo lucky to have him. I hope she gets her own account and keeps any money she makes for herself.
Btw. I’m now a single mother (widow) and I’m far less delusional now than when I was living with a toxic man.
The trad thing is also linked to a lot of privilege. Most women throughout history had to work in some capacity to keep their families fed. I had a friend who stayed home to raise two of her kids because if she didn’t, her paycheck would’ve gone straight to childcare and nothing else. Even then she had a small business to help ends meet while her husband went to a regular job. Being in a trad relationship is only glamorous if you’re weathy
Very true
Hi, uni age man here, it is so shocking to me how many of my male peers are so anti-women and actively HATE women. Not to get too into it, but I TA an English class for freshmen, and I have literally had papers (yes, with an s) written by men about how feminism was a mistake and should never have existed and that the woman is submissive to the man. WILD stuff it baffles me everytime I read or hear things like that from people I (previously) thought were.. sane?
Yikes... sounds like these men didn't have good parents growing up, generally kids should be taught to not be hateful jerks...
Most men literally watch p*rn and apperently see no issue with women being degraded. Like you say, you need to deeply hate women to submit such papers.
Imagine being so upset over other people not wanting to be seen as inferior.
Mommy Issues are the new Daddy Issues
And then they'll sit there and wonder why they can't get girlfriends lmao.
@catdownthestreet not necessarily. Plenty if family's I've known ate baffled because they raised their sons to see the genders as equal and then as soon as they hit school society enlists them into typical sexist rhetoric. While parents are a factor, we also can't forget how deeply society favours men over women and kids pick up on that.
Kind of ironic that she doesn't realise that feminism is the reason why she's able to do whatever she's doing now. I don't even feel bad or angry when I see women like her. It's kind of that sad, somber feeling :/
Considering she also met him while in the military, who does she think paved the way.
The fact that she doesn't acknowledge that she makes money off her videos while also getting money from her husband is deceitful. Like you said, not everyone has an influencer income, most people have a typical job. Feminism is the reason why she has a platform, is able to speak her mind freely, join the military, vote, go to school or not etc. It's as if these trad wives are missing the fact that they themselves are able to have a choice while our foremothers didn't have a choice to begin with. Side note, I feel like she's the boss in that relationship, like she talked her husband into the idea, since he said he never wanted a trad life beforehand. I understand, it takes two to be in a relationship, but I think the dynamic between them isn't so cut and dry.
I grew up in a household like this. My parents were 30 years apart and they would both outright say she was the “trophy wife” .
the trauma is real and something I will never fully heal from. It’s like a domino effect that also affects the rest of your life. It also invites a lot of predatory type people to take advantage of you.
I cannot fathom living in this world and as a hairstylist, I can’t tell you how many women have sat in my chair, lived this life, and regretted it all.
I am a teen working at mission bbq and I make 500-600$ every two weeks and there’s no way I work nearly as many hours as she is. She’s being criminally underpaid.
Flashbanged by the vaguely chris-chan like shirt
Oh god I can’t unsee it
I am so sorry for the jumpscare 😭 blame Old Navy
I literally ran to comment this oh my god😭😭😭
The classic!!
I never saw this comment…
I'm a man and I guess I'm a Trad Wife? My wife and I have been married for 8 years now, together for 15, last year her father got sick, stage 4 colon cancer. Unfortunately he did not survive, at the time I had to leave my job to help take care of him and her. As an only child she inherited everything having lost her mother a few years earlier and ever since she's been working while I stay at home and take care of the place. It's an old farm house, lots to do and lots to fix. Since everything is paid off we can survive on a single income and she tells me she loves having me stay home and fix everything. Thus far I've had to tear down and build a front deck, fix 3 separate tractors, fix vehicles as needed, fix the well pump, etc. On top of the "Masculine" things I also take care of dishes, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. though she does help out when she can.
Lol yeah I guess you are a trad wife. I wish you and your wife all the best this Sinmas :)
K
That sounds great! I have a friend whose husband basically became a SAHD bc childcare for their 2 kids would easily eat up the income he was making as a line cook. In addition to childcare he would of course do other household upkeep, and he took up woodworking and has made some of their home's furniture.
It's a pretty good gig and totally doesn't have to be gendered!
Taking care of an old farm house with your loved one sounds so cool 😭
aww this is cute
I think the problem with this boils down to a single statement: “In THIS economy!?”
I have seen so so many women online talking about how they bought into the traditional dynamic, stopped working, gave all control to their husband and then one day their husbands up and left them -- often for a younger version of them -- and immediately stopped all support and left them broke / homeless / trying to raise their children with no money, home, support, etc. Or even just the husband up and died and they have no idea how to pay the bills, bring in money, etc. The thing that is actually dangerously delusional is to think that marrying a man who vows to always support and protect you is infallible insurance against ever having to take care of yourself, especially because you will end up ten times worse than the bad girls who got jobs and can fend for themselves when necessary. Try getting a job after being out of the workforce for a decade, try getting credit or loans when you haven't bought anything on your own from your own account in years. It's scary and depressing to see women indoctrinated into the belief that all you need to do is be subservient to a man who marries you and you'll be insulated and safe forever.
As a Millennial we are watching Gen Z and we are SO SCARED for y'all. We saw what traditional relationships did to our Boomer moms and grandmas... maybe there's a disconnect Gen Z has from it that makes it look way more appealing than the sadness it was.
I'm not even healt from generational trauma and the kids are already going back. My grandma didn't choose her husband, to the detriment of the whole family line
I also think it might have something to do with what we grew up on like Who's the Boss. Back then they were trying to push women out of the home, now that we are they can't afford for us to go back in, they being the economy.
Also want to go with generational trauma watch the series on grandma's talking about their traumatic cute meet stories.
I know this isn’t like 100% the reason, but I know a decent amount of people who want this traditional life are basing it off of 1950’s advertisements/pop culture, not realizing that those sources are biased and present an idealistic view of life at the time.
So tldr lacking media literacy/critical thinking, which seems to be lacking in this generation
@@dangermouse4871 One of my sets of grandparents met when he (a veteran) wouldn't stop following her (a 19 year old) around on his bike. The other couple broke up suddenly when she fled the home with her kids and they lived in poverty. Fun!
Gen Z here, nostalgia is very popular on social media. From childhood nostalgia to now the traditional lifestyle topped with perfected idealized videos of said lifestyle has a lot of us cooked. We live in very turbulent times and gen z has grown up around that with things only getting worse. So in my opinion gen z having grown up in a city with a phone glued to their hand have started to reminisce this traditional life. Living on farms and away from cities (vry common theme with big trad wife creators)Things seemed easier, especially with the direction America is currently heading in particularly for women it seems easier to just go with it in someway or stick your head in the sand.
Truly has to be some sort of social experiment I swear these people aren’t real
definitely a mix of fetish, hate farming, tv producers who tell them to ham it up, and yes an inherent power dynamic between a significant younger military vet who at one point lived a very structured, rigid life and an older guy who is getting attention from a younger woman. It's actually really common for vets to experience distress after discharge when they loose that structure. Some spiral, some seek other structured organizations (there is an abundance of ex-military in the police force). I hope she gets some sense of peace, eventually.
They forget that just like a boss, your husband can also dump you... the difference is that you can get another job to pay your bills, if your husband dumps you, you have nothing on your name, no resume, and basically no means of getting independent...
If we're going to be intersectional about feminism, I think it's important to remember how disability can affect relationships like this. I'm not able to work a full time job because of disability, so my relationship tends towards more traditional gender roles, and it works for us. But I have been in relationships where I been financially controlled in the past, and even though I don't feel that my current partner would do that, it's enough of a fear for me now that I'm holding onto a part time job that is severely detrimental to my physical and mental health. So I can relate to a lot of what she's saying.
He's not even a traditional husband. He works a desk job. By the way, there is nothing wrong with that, but they are acting like he is going out and building skyscrapers or a doctor with crazy work hours. His job is not that hard, maybe a bit mentally taxing, but so is every job. I bet her views will change once she has that baby and will truly see how much work it is.
He is a PA in the army.
It's actually kinda scary that weird trad types feel emboldened to sneer and condemn the childless.
Where are they getting this nerve from? It's actually depraved.
I saw a post somewhere that was talking about how almost everything in nature exists on a spectrum and honestly, that‘s a take people don‘t seem to even consider, much less WANT to consider
They're allergic to the term spectrum, also to equity, common sense, changing ones mind etc
Truly sad, they need so many epipens and you can't buy many of those with $100 allowance 😔(apparently at best exactly one 2 pack of the generic)
could you explain what 'everything in nature exists on a spectrum' means? genuinely asking by the way, i can sometimes struggle understanding certain wording and might need things explained differently/more clearly (i assume it is because i am autistic but im not sure. it also probably doesn't help that its late at night and im very tired)
@@Bleplebeian i got you!
okay so in general, natures just Exists, there aren't any hard and fast rules or categories. all classifications and groupings are humans imposing a kind of organization on natural phenomena and creatures and objects. like if you asked a group of people at what point the color spectrum goes from "yellow" to "orange", they'll all give you a different answer.
since nothing in natural is absolute except how we conceive of them, all of nature is a spectrum.
(there might be absolutes in nature. i am not a scientist. but generally things are far more subjective than common knowledge would have one believe. like how theres several genes responsible for eye color, and not a simpe 2x2 mendel square)
I can’t get over the scene where they’re shopping for BABY CLOTHES and she’s like “we went shopping on his dime.” I know I’m one of those delusional child free people she was referring to and I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure kids need to be clothed. And presumably he’s the dad. Like, of course he can buy clothes for the kid he helped create? WTF?!
I worked at a kids clothing store for a while and many dad's wouldn't even know their baby's or kid's size 😭
@ I wish I could say I was surprised, but alas…
Maybe the kid should get a fucking job and stop leeching.
If you can hold your head up, you can hold a job! 🤡
And in a healthy marriage there’s no my money and your money it’s OUR money
They have absolutely no chemistry.
Maybe she secured a lifetime of support, and he just doesn’t know it yet… She has an alimony claim, because she quit school.
I applaud you for explaining a distinction between radical feminism and feminism as a whole. There's all different types of people out there. You can't realistically expect the loudest individuals to accurately represent the whole group.
MERRY SINMAS TO ALL
Merry sinmas!
MERRY SINMASSS
Merry sinmas!!!
Merry Sinmas!!!!!
Merry sinmas!
Need a pallette cleanser?
I'm a bi woman who just started their first relationship with a woman. And it is the best one I've ever been part of. Ugghh, women❤
as a fellow bi woman how are you getting in serious relationships w girls? my talking stages always fizzle out 😢
Congratulations! I hope your first holidays together are wonderful :)
Congrats! 👩❤️💋👩
Omg me too bestie happy for us
Good for both of you ☺️
0:42 not me standing in the kitchen about to cook 😂😂😂
enjoy your meal!
Whoa, wait, non-trad people can cook too? I thought we had to Uber Eats McDonalds, be bisexual, charge we phone, eat hot chip, and lie!
My parents, who have a healthy long lasting marriage, will ALWAYS bring out the "keep separate bank accounts" advice when asked. They're both financially responsible, but have vastly different spending habits, and they say time and again that separate bank accounts has saved them MANY stupid arguments over the years. It's good advice even with a good partner who you can 100% trust and rely on! Honestly INSANE to me that ANYONE would willingly give up their own accounts and credit card!! It's not even a "trad" thing to do- it's just hardcore all day every day cosplay!
18:30 fun fact, studies show that the prefrontal cortex of some neurodivergent people (specifically ADHD) isn't fully developed until their 30s
I'm so sick of the "YT hid this from me for X amount of seconds" joke
Also the Chris Chan sweater😭I was absolutely not ready
I second this and would like to extend it to apply to any overdone joke
I thought the sweater looked creepily familiar. Chris Chan reference is wild and I hate that I have become a Christorian. At first everything I learnt was not by choice now I need to know everything
Agreed, the first time was enough, come up with your own joke people
@Hip.Username impossible 😢
It’s giving “x seconds and y (low number) views? (TH-camr) fell off”
HOW DARE TH-cam HIDE THIS FROM ME FOR 23 SECONDS
may the departed find solace in the tranquil embrace of eternal slumber, where sorrows are but whispers in the night 💔
Kind of reminds me of the handmaids tale when serena was an influencer but then hated it when she got what she wanted. Then was shocked when the men stopped respecting her
That's a very good comparison!
There's a right wing political party in my country and some of the women are talking abt how feminism is bad and has always been bad. Like.. girl, you're literally a politician talking in front of a bunch of men and wearing trousers. Doesn't seem like you enjoy staying in the kitchen either 💀
I mean there's good reason why why the redpill female grifters like justpearlythings will never settle and live the life they claim women should.
it's so sad when you watch a couple being interviewed and one of them is clearly brainwashed and doing all the talking, while the other sits there smugly
I am always rubbed the wrong way by their description of corporate jobs. It always tells me they must have been crappy workers. A bad experience can happen to anyone, but to the point you decide paid work is not for you? I am European: I have always been looking forward to go back to my job after each of my three (4 or5 months, fully paid) maternity leaves.
I helped my sister out with kids and caring for babies was so much harder for me than my full time job. And even though I just helped out I felt trapped bc I was at the home, cleaning, caring for the babies, caring for the animals. I had less free time than with a full time job.
So I have such a deep respect for the moms out there. You can be so proud of yourself for raising your kids
If it helps in the U.S only 41% of women get PAID maternity leave for an average 3.3 weeks, the U.S average maternity leave time is 10 weeks so no matter what you’re losing income
@adri5640 I know. That is my point: I was looking forward to go back to work even if I kept being paid. Do you mean conditions in USA are worse and that is why people reject corporate jobs? Might be indeed, I cannot compare, I have worked in different countries, but always in Europe.
@@Rechtauch I am also a woman who prefers work but criticism of corporate jobs doesn’t make us crappy workers, there are deeper issues such as our maternity leave not being paid and not being long enough, missing work after a long time away is understandable but we aren’t given the privilege to be paid to rest
@adri5640 if I were you, I would not blame as "priviledged" those who enjoy the maternity leave, but rather claim what is just a basic right. Having kids is something you do for you, but also for society. You are literally producing future workers, and you have the right to be paid for it. Precisely as European I cannot phantom that you do not have maternity support and I just cannot understand why you have not already revolted about it. But against companies and governments, not against other workers...
There's always this assumption that women are choosing to work. How else are we going to pay our bills? It's not a political statement to WORK, when the economy is ROUGH. I know lots of men and women who would have loved to stay home when their kids were little, but they didn't have that option no matter how "traditional" they are.
It's a political statement to men who hate women bc paying your own bills means women don't have to rely on abusive men
Right that's the part that is so frustrating to me. Reality is that for most people, we don't have an economy that living on one income is possible without some huge sacrifices that will be detrimental for years afterwards. So to tell women that this is the way to go, is dangerous because to survive on this planet, money is required unfortunately.
@@saldiamond Exactly, especially when the message is being told to young people who don't quite realize social media is 99% fake. They could make a decision that straight up messes up their life.
going off of the "are people who physically can't have children delusional?" thing, earlier in the tweet she says surrogacy. i'm imagining she doesn't have the highest view of adoption since the "issue" with surrogacy seems to be that your child isn't "yours", so what are people with fertility issues supposed to do?
it sounds like she thinks people with fertility issues should just disappear... the quiet part is very loud here
Just not have children ig because “Jesus/insert other god here (it’s usually Christians tho) didn’t intend for you to have children “
she ties her femininity to fertility, much the same way a man ties his masculinity to performance.
@@catdownthestreetright, trad people have a way of getting rid of the “undesirables”.
Im a disabled bisexual afab transmasc person. I have ONLY ever worked under women. Idk why Ally thinks only men are in higher up positions. Plus people can criticize her at any age. I just turned 30 this year and have been with the same wonderful man for 12 years. So idk where she is getting the single stereotype either lol. Keep on doing what youre doing AnnaMarie. Love your channel❤
Plus in this economy we cant afford to only have one income!!! (For the majority of people myself included)
10:08 I think it usually a red flag to drop out of school for a partner UNLESS they are terminally ill or something where they need help for a bit. AND it should be the choice of the partner going to school to do so as you said!!!
I was watching this in the living room and my roommates boyfriend said your forehead is symmetrical and that if he took a level it would be level. He means this as a compliment.
She’s only 28 and she’s been with him 2 1/2 years, presumably maybe about 6 months of which she’s been pregnant? I just keep thinking about how she’s going to feel 5-10 years down the road with 2-3+ kids, because right now is the easiest her life will ever be going forward, I can only imagine how burnt out and exhausted she probably felt, being in the military and going to college. To be honest, sometimes it does sound nice for someone just to take care of you and to not have to work, I know many young 20s women who have said they wish they didn’t have to work. (I think most of us don’t love having the ridiculous work/life balance that our society upholds for the majority just to meet base costs of living.) But it makes me just worried about the toll this will take on her, I just don’t know if she’ll feel the same way when she’s burnt out and exhausted and lonely doing this plus children for a decade. Maybe I’m wrong, but it just makes me sad for future her.
where would we as a culture be without the 12 days of sinmas
probably in the trenches of fandom with kinktober
(I am so sorry for this joke it just sounded similar enough to make sense lol)
My sister got married young and is a stay at home mom. It wasn’t always her plan but she has an autistic child so in the end it is much cheaper than finding specialized care for him. Never once has she shamed me or my other sisters for not following that same path. There have been times that are extremely difficult only having one source of income. If your partner all of the sudden stops making as much as they did then you may need to start making money also.
Married feminist over 30, I’ll keep my financial freedom thank you very much
aint no way we arent addressing the chris chan shirt 😂😂😂
my main question is what if you get burnt out? you can get paid leave at a job but you cant for being a 24/7 sah mom. will he pick up the slack or weaponize his incompetence until youre miserably tired and overwhelmed? but hey maybe thats just me and girlie will never want a break 🤷♀
Imagine him trying to hire someone for her job with the exact same wages and them just laughing in his face
@@mattcottrell3286my mom was a cleaning lady full time and cooked, cleaned all alone when she was with her partner of over 10yrs. She was literally waking up at 5 to clean homes for 8hrs then came home to clean their home alone.
After they broke up he literally asked her to clean bc he didn't want to pay hundreds of bucks for someone to come over ONCE a week! The entitlement is just crazy
As a straight guy, I can't imagine why I would want to totally financially provide for another adult just because we're in a relationship! And what could you talk about when you spend time together: "So, anything exciting happen while you were doing my laundry for me today?" I'd rather be with someone who has goals, interests, and ideas that are independent of me. A partner shouldn't be "a maid/cook I have sex with."
People can have hobbies... I'm confused why everyone seems to imply that if you're a stay at home spouse the only things you do are cooking and housework. That takes maybe 20 hrs a week, a stay at home spouse can have tons of time for hobbies, volunteering, etc. You're not automatically boring just because you don't work out of the home 🙃
@@sarahmorgan5686many stay at home moms don't have time for hobbies though 😭 especially with babies or toddlers that aren't in day care.
Problem is that most women do also work and even when women work full time the men don't do much of the chores or child care.
I also think it's way easier for both people to split chores and child care. Depending on the jobs and income both can also work part time. You would have less money but more time with the family.
@@van_ol1056how do you know the dynamics of most women in relationships?
@@sarahmorgan5686Why do people assume that is the assumption??
Two way street, y'know 🙃
Mad cool of you to have a Gabi Belle desk mat. Loving the girls supporting girls.
What is this, a crossover episode
I am a queer woman in a relationship with a man and he cooks all the meals. He is a fantastic cook and really enjoys cooking for us. It is definitely one of his love languages. He also takes care of the dishes (even though I always offer to help, especially after he cooks big meals) and I take care of the laundry. Folding and putting away clean laundry is very relaxing for me and I like to listen to podcasts while I do it. We both split any other tasks around the house, but because I work from home I also don't mind helping out more. I also take care of financial stuff but we split the costs (rent, utilities, internet, etc). He just sends me his portion of everything and I pay for it. It eases my anxiety to be in charge of that. We have separate bank accounts but we have talked about getting a shared one if we ever decide to try to buy a house. This arrangement seems to be working pretty great for us 🥰
Asking genuinely cause I’m confused. So your a women who is sexually attracted to women but married to a man? Do you date women? Or like how does work? Obviously you don’t have to answer anything you’re not comfortable with. I’m just curious ☺️
@@Chelseaaa626 Queer doesn't necessarily mean homosexual. In today's context, it just means "not 100% straight". Could be used to refer to a bisexual or pansexual person, for exampe.
@Chelseaaa626 haha no it's okay, I get your confusion. I like the term queer because it is a bit more complicated than just saying I'm bisexual. Queer feels like it includes all the nuisances to my sexuality and my romantic feelings for others. I hope this helps 🥰
@ I’m kinda still confused. I consider myself bisexual but I am also married to a man. I am sexually attracted to women. Idk if that helps clarify lol. What is the difference between bisexual and queer?
Also if I ask an offensive question it say something offensive please educate me. I am genuinely curious and not trying to be bad faith or a butthead. And please feel free to not answer anything you don’t want too 💕
@@Chelseaaa626 I don't find your questions offensive at all. You come across as being genuinely curious and just trying to learn more. I find it easier to call myself a queer woman when I am actually an omniromantic demisexual. It can be kind of a headache to keep explaining what that means, especially to non-queer/cis people. That's why I prefer using the term queer 😊 please let me know if you have anymore questions 💜
Never planned on marriage or kids, let alone being a stay at home mom, but once I had my first child, I couldn’t bear the thought of sending her to daycare. My husband and I talked and it was important to both of us for one of us to stay home and it just felt right for me at the time. We had two more kids and it has been some wild child rearing years but I really do feel so lucky to be raising a family. I’ll join the workforce again one day but right now I’m happy where I am. It really isn’t for everyone and some days are really tough. My husbands job is very demanding, but he’s present and does his share with the house and kids when he’s home. Took us a while to get to this point but the sacrifice has been worth it. I do not understand the relationship portrayed in this video….
NOT THE CHRIS CHAN SWEATER
on the first day of sinmas annamarie gave to me, an apron to cook and clean!
perfection, the tune immediately played in my head
"How are millenials more progressive than us". Well, Gen z is being raised by gen X and Gen x has gone full wackadoodle so a ton of gen z men are being raised with those views.
Both are better than millennials tbh
You have no idea what you're talking about @@girlplease2452
@girlplease2452 the sooner you accept that gen z men came out for Trump in a major way and aren't better than other generations of men, the sooner you can stop having this rose tinted view about gen z and the people who raised them. Stop making excuses for men of a generation that haven't shown themselves to be much better than the ones that came before.
Both of yall should do some reading on why generational groupings and judging those groups as a whole is nonsensical. Shitty people come from all generations and demographics.
@@dangerxbadger2300 we already know this
18:45 The frontal lobe is fully developed at 25 thing is a myth btw, and has been debunked a bunch of times. But I do agree that someone should have a good few years of actual life experience before getting into a relationship with someone way older
yep
As a former psychology student i disagree, it's not really a myth except it might be too rough of a line to draw, since not everyone matures exactly the same, the human brain takes a long time to develop however
@nothing-jl2dz Whoever taught you was teaching incomplete material. The brain never stops developing.
Something missing is the gratification maaaaany women get from contributing financially to a relationship/household. WE paid for this couch, this TV, this downpayment, this vacation. We worked for these things, we warned them. Together, we can delight in their spoils as equals. It's not always "thank you, honey."
Listen I’m SO thankful for my partner. One part of me wants to drop out just to work and have more time with them, but they KNOW how much I worked for this and was like “absolutely not you are not dropping out” . Sometimes a supportive partner means helping remind you of your goals that you had before you met them!
15:18 agreed. My wife and I have a joint account for joint expenses like rent and things, and we have our own accounts to do what we want. It just makes sense
That shirt is screaming Chris Chan. I think the colors and pattern cause a natural defense response.
Never been so early, can't wait for the scalding tea to keep me warm this Sinmas.
I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS MY THIRD SINMAS OMG?!?! LOVE YOU GIRLY 💕
26:57 it's true, i started testosterone 9 months ago and now i can't do chores anymore 😔
the one side effect they won't tell you about
25:11 if Miranda sings was a trad wife
I WAS JUST THINKING THAT!
Merry Sinmas you little imps!!
4:51 As we all know, the only issue with your wife having depression is that she can't cook for you.
oh this was hard to watch, she's a victim and doesn't know it. that little financial control tangent he mentioned at 14:36 made my skin crawl
I went to a small liberal arts college and many of my friends entered into traditional hetero marriages (I instead discovered I was gay AF but that’s another story) and the hardest thing I see is that in many of their marriages, they’re set in a traditional mold of “ man works away from home and woman takes care of children/home” but then the woman is also expected to bring in a second income while also fulfilling their traditional role. They’re balancing working from home with their children on their lap and cleaning during their breaks with next to no time to even remember who they are or what they like, and the husband is gone all day and then allowed to put his feet up in his man cave and enjoy his hobbies/relaxation practices once he’s home.