As an adult daughter who still struggles with mental health issues, consequence of trauma, I felt heard and validated after listening to this great video. Thank you so much for providing structure to this chaotic experience
my mother doesn't storm, she shuts down. Cold shoulder. Stonewalling, silent treatments that can go on for YEARS all the while acting like the victim of my ''aggression''. Any attempt to communicate is AGGRESSIVE. she is good, i am bad.
Careful, thoughtful audio essay. Well crafted with healthy, kindly presented advice. Also, the reader voice is calming in tone and pace . Thank you very much.
My therapist recently suggested that my mom might have BPD ( based on everything I've told her.) Listening to this video, I definitely believe she has it! At 44, im finally understanding that there is a reason for my depression, sever anxiety, and chronic health issues! I feel like I can start healing now.
The effects have been devastating on me, and my biggest fear is that I have it and I’m scared to have children now. I’m considering not having kids because i don’t want to continue the cycle . I know it’s very transmittable
As others in the comments, I arrived here after my therapist suggested that my mother could have BPD and I was looking for some other sources to understand this. I'm still watching the full essay, and it's taking a while, days, cause almost every sentence makes me realize things and triggers memories and introspection. I take notes, give myself time to interiorize, and then come back and continue. It's somehow weird being portrayed so clearly and intimately by someone who doesn't know you. Thank you for sharing this, it's helping.
thank you for taking the time to watch the video. I can hear that it is a painful process but I am glad you are courageously facing what is bubbling underneath. I think it is really good that you take it slow.. very, very slow. one sentence at a time (Not just with the stuff here but everything that provokes). That is a probably a sign of you taking care of yourself and that is the best path to healing! Life is a journey, a process, there is no rush.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I dunno what to say I myself am a person with bpd in a different dynamic than yours...but I pray that you find a way. Also pls don't loose hope for life❤ keep going what's best will happen
My mum was not cold, and she was not really cruel. She was just always prepccupied with her own mental illness and her abusive boyfriend. They would fight almost daily, my mom was very jealous but also she cheated on him quite a few times. She drank alcohol and did drugs, and would come home crying all the time becauseher boyfriend (our stepdad) would leave her alone at a party. She wasnt super invalidating, in fact she was one of the only caregivers i had who really loved and seemed to understand me. But therein lies the problem, i wasnt with her enough to receive that love consistently. I had ADHD and she refused to get me a diagnosis, she thought she was doing the right thing but i was punished a lot in school and by babysitters, i was even pumished and picked on all the time by my older siblings. Most of the abuse i received was by my siblings and our stepdad. My mom never really got in my face, only one did she do that and it was because i used to burn pieces of paper. Well, one night i had written a note to my deceased friend who offed himself and went downstairs to burn the letter out the backdoor, it was snowy outside so i was trying to stay warm by keeping my body inside the house. But my stepdad smelled the burning and he told my mom i was burning stuff, he riled her up so when she came downstairs she chased me up to my room i think she was hittingme or something and she had me down on my bed, i looked at her and yelled "I HATE YOU" multiple times while she slapped me on the mouth repeatedly. She slapped me many times on the mouth when i was a kid because i had a ferocious and loud voice/ cry. She told me she had made my mouth bleed before. I dont remember. She gave me her BPD, she gave all of her kids some form of mental illness. We all kind of just agreed to blame it on our abusive stepdad but truthfully, she was the one who put us in that situation for 11 of our most formative years. She is equally if not moreso at fault for ruining her childrens development. I mostly forgive her and i still talk to her because she can be great to talk to, but about half of the time i feel completely draind after speaking to her. She now is livng with a man who also has BPD but he is volatile, he never abused her thankfully atleast not physically. Her ex, our stepdad almostbeat her to death a few times so its an upgrade. But yea, she still takes better care of her man then she does her kids. Its sad, because she is a wonderful person aside from it all.
I found this very triggering! It makes it sound like this is how all borderline moms are. Some are high-functioning. And do not impact people like text book borderline
As an adult daughter who still struggles with mental health issues, consequence of trauma, I felt heard and validated after listening to this great video. Thank you so much for providing structure to this chaotic experience
Thank you for sharing your experience and kind feedback ❣️
Your experience deserves to be validated.
my mother doesn't storm, she shuts down. Cold shoulder. Stonewalling, silent treatments that can go on for YEARS all the while acting like the victim of my ''aggression''. Any attempt to communicate is AGGRESSIVE. she is good, i am bad.
That’s awfully painful and I am so sorry :(
Me too. And I’m soooo sorry. The immediate shutdown is so so creepy. It is such a mindfuck.
How long would she shut down for?
Careful, thoughtful audio essay. Well crafted with healthy, kindly presented advice. Also, the reader voice is calming in tone and pace . Thank you very much.
Aww your thoughtful comment means a lot to me. imi
My therapist recently suggested that my mom might have BPD ( based on everything I've told her.) Listening to this video, I definitely believe she has it! At 44, im finally understanding that there is a reason for my depression, sever anxiety, and chronic health issues! I feel like I can start healing now.
Wow!! What a significant turning point for you. I appreciate you sharing this with us
The effects have been devastating on me, and my biggest fear is that I have it and I’m scared to have children now. I’m considering not having kids because i don’t want to continue the cycle . I know it’s very transmittable
As others in the comments, I arrived here after my therapist suggested that my mother could have BPD and I was looking for some other sources to understand this. I'm still watching the full essay, and it's taking a while, days, cause almost every sentence makes me realize things and triggers memories and introspection. I take notes, give myself time to interiorize, and then come back and continue. It's somehow weird being portrayed so clearly and intimately by someone who doesn't know you. Thank you for sharing this, it's helping.
thank you for taking the time to watch the video. I can hear that it is a painful process but I am glad you are courageously facing what is bubbling underneath. I think it is really good that you take it slow.. very, very slow. one sentence at a time (Not just with the stuff here but everything that provokes). That is a probably a sign of you taking care of yourself and that is the best path to healing!
Life is a journey, a process, there is no rush.
This was wonderful. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
This should be learned in schools
Yes I went through this. It almost killed me.
I am sorry to what what you have been through and I am glad it was an *almost*
This was my mother. Totally
i think these bpd videos should be detailed in the sub categories of bpd and of people with bpd who are not in recovery or dysregulated.
What if the person is your wife, who is triggering what was done to you by your parents?
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I dunno what to say I myself am a person with bpd in a different dynamic than yours...but I pray that you find a way. Also pls don't loose hope for life❤ keep going what's best will happen
AMAZING ESSAY. Congratulations
Thank you! 🏜️
Eloquent and accurate.
Thank you David!
My mum was not cold, and she was not really cruel. She was just always prepccupied with her own mental illness and her abusive boyfriend. They would fight almost daily, my mom was very jealous but also she cheated on him quite a few times. She drank alcohol and did drugs, and would come home crying all the time becauseher boyfriend (our stepdad) would leave her alone at a party. She wasnt super invalidating, in fact she was one of the only caregivers i had who really loved and seemed to understand me. But therein lies the problem, i wasnt with her enough to receive that love consistently. I had ADHD and she refused to get me a diagnosis, she thought she was doing the right thing but i was punished a lot in school and by babysitters, i was even pumished and picked on all the time by my older siblings. Most of the abuse i received was by my siblings and our stepdad. My mom never really got in my face, only one did she do that and it was because i used to burn pieces of paper. Well, one night i had written a note to my deceased friend who offed himself and went downstairs to burn the letter out the backdoor, it was snowy outside so i was trying to stay warm by keeping my body inside the house. But my stepdad smelled the burning and he told my mom i was burning stuff, he riled her up so when she came downstairs she chased me up to my room i think she was hittingme or something and she had me down on my bed, i looked at her and yelled "I HATE YOU" multiple times while she slapped me on the mouth repeatedly. She slapped me many times on the mouth when i was a kid because i had a ferocious and loud voice/ cry. She told me she had made my mouth bleed before. I dont remember. She gave me her BPD, she gave all of her kids some form of mental illness. We all kind of just agreed to blame it on our abusive stepdad but truthfully, she was the one who put us in that situation for 11 of our most formative years. She is equally if not moreso at fault for ruining her childrens development. I mostly forgive her and i still talk to her because she can be great to talk to, but about half of the time i feel completely draind after speaking to her. She now is livng with a man who also has BPD but he is volatile, he never abused her thankfully atleast not physically. Her ex, our stepdad almostbeat her to death a few times so its an upgrade. But yea, she still takes better care of her man then she does her kids. Its sad, because she is a wonderful person aside from it all.
❤❤❤❤ great video 😊
Thanks for the visit and kind words 🥰
Yes and when i finally tried to separate from her at 38 75percent of family and friends turned on me😊
😮💨😮💨😮💨😓😓😓 Thank you for your work
🤗
I found this very triggering! It makes it sound like this is how all borderline moms are. Some are high-functioning.
And do not impact people like text book borderline
Everything you said, I could relate to what happened to me, growing up in Hell
:( I hope you can emerge from the ashes! Thank you for sharing with us