How Do You Move On From Broken Dreams?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.พ. 2025
  • On today’s show, we hear about:
    A woman whose husband secretly had a vasectomy
    A wife who blames her husband for conflicts with his parents
    A man jealous of his friends who are married with kids
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ความคิดเห็น • 349

  • @pn8326
    @pn8326 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    "What i think you cant get around is you didnt get your way"
    Mic drop. Amen.

    • @erikaorriss
      @erikaorriss หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Wow, he totally dropped a nuclear bomb in the relationship. Ummm, people talk.... She needs to be validated not demeaned. Have you ever heard of betrayal trauma? You really did a disservice to this woman. She needs to be able to be hurt. That needs to be honored. She has to heal before the relationship can heal.

  • @melanieb2132
    @melanieb2132 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    She gets her identity through being a stay at home mom.. pregnancy is hard. Babies are hard, but she loves it.
    He has to provide for all those kids and her. That's alot. She doesn't have sympathy for that side of the issue.

    • @jessm2560
      @jessm2560 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yes! totally agree that she finds her identity through motherhood. She's going to have a real hard time when all her children leave the house.

    • @nitoloma6554
      @nitoloma6554 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      ​@jessm2560 her identity isn't motherhood. It's control. She wants to stay at home to control the house, she wants more kid because the kids have to listen. She has issues her husband made a choice WITH HIS BODY, because he didn't do what she said.

    • @patriciaalbertson5183
      @patriciaalbertson5183 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      And bringing more kids into a troubled marriage... Swell

    • @TheYazmanian
      @TheYazmanian 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I was just about to say that I bet she's a stay at home mom and never feels the pressure of having to actually feed these 6 mouths and therefore has no thought process as to how it will affect him if she created more financial burden for him.

  • @jimv77
    @jimv77 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Having two kids were mentally and financially stressful already. Can't imagine with 6+ kids. I was the parent working full time *and* dropping each kid off at separate daycare then babysitter THEN ALSO picking them up before 6:00pm (my wife worked earlier and longer hours than me). I would not want to experience that again.... Now I have two driving teenagers in college......whoa baby..... can't wait for them to be finally launched.....

  • @debbieanderson6740
    @debbieanderson6740 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    I'll go another direction. Holding the resentment for your husband is going to rub off on your 6 kids. Instead of thinking about what won't happen. Concentrate on what you have.

  • @joannawert3095
    @joannawert3095 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I have seven (grown) kids and I can't agree with John more.

  • @BadAssElf810
    @BadAssElf810 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    She says "I love being a mother." She still is a mother- to 6 kids who need mothering of different kinds as they mature through different stages. It is very challenging to meet the emotional needs of 6 kids who all have different temperaments and problems. I have 11 siblings and we all suffered from various forms of emotional neglect despite the home being very stable.

  • @pattimartin859
    @pattimartin859 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    I am a single mother of 3. Not any help from their dad. She needs a reality check. The huge financial burden of 3 kids , much less 6 is tremendous. He is feeling the monetary stress and she hasn't picked up on that.. I get the impression she doesn't work outside the home. Ellie needs to stop, think, take a breath and consider the alternative.

    • @debbielockhart7762
      @debbielockhart7762 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      She has serious issues. I geel tremendously sorry for her husband.

  • @DsChelI
    @DsChelI 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    That first call is why I want to call in…. He’s so real, I love that he doesn’t just tell callers what they want to hear. Tough love.

  • @blueseptember2174
    @blueseptember2174 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    6 kids is a blessing. But realistically he reached his personal limit. You gotta respect that. Its not like he did it before you had any kids or even after 2. A vasectomy gives him peace. Family planning is not it. Ask me how i know 😅

    • @grateful7420
      @grateful7420 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      How do you know?

    • @karaa7595
      @karaa7595 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      6 kids is not a blessing for some people. Sorry but God gives us the free will to choose to bring kids into our lives to raise. So many siblings in a big family don't get the attention and personal care they truly need because there are too many kids for mom and dad to care for. I see it all the time. One kid ends up with poor health. Or none of them can get the orthodontic care they need and it affects them as adults. One or two of them have to grow up too quick and don't want a family of their own as adults. We don't live in Bible days anymore. Jobs take dads away for many hours a day. The job force is highly competitive. Unemployment is on the rise. WAAAAY more stress on parents now vs then.

    • @nikkita1688
      @nikkita1688 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The only people who are for family planning haven't had the accident baby yet.

    • @erichchan3
      @erichchan3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@karaa7595 She did admit on the call that the 6th baby was a surprise baby and that they were already having financial difficulties. I mean unless her husband is a successful hedge fund manager and has a mansion, having a family of 8 is already tough financially and money does not grow on trees to potential provide for any more kids.. I am not sure how many more kids she had in her dream but 6 kids nowadays is not normal like it used to be given the cost of raising kids.
      From a man's point of view, the pressure to be the sole breadwinner for a family of 8 is already too much to bear because clearly she is a full time mother and not working which she should be to ensure the kids are raised properly. My guess is that if her husband was on the line he would say they he had this discussion with her and he probably suggested things as birth control/condoms but she wouldn't go for it because that would imply killing her dream of potential growing the family. She definitely has her own issues that she needs to work out in that her husband made a decision without following her way but more importantly she has to let go of that dream of future kids and be content that 6 kids is plenty enough and to give enough attention so that they don't feel neglected.

    • @Tes73792
      @Tes73792 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Having a limit is normal. But doing the vasectomy without telling the wife shows there is not real connection between the two.

  • @undecidedtoystore3003
    @undecidedtoystore3003 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Dr. Delony handled the first call really well. Hope their family can recover and move past everything

    • @TheDieselguy65
      @TheDieselguy65 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I think he should have been a little more straight about how horrid her treatment and opinion of her husband was.

  • @kcourtney6826
    @kcourtney6826 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    If the marriage is struggling having more kids by accident or intentional isn’t going to make it better. Kudos to Dr. Delony for keeping it real, she doesn’t want to be a single mom with 6 kids does she?

  • @irisquinones1275
    @irisquinones1275 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    because that was the ONE thing he had control over----his body

    • @jennyberger6688
      @jennyberger6688 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      1000% she puts her kids above him every day

    • @maiaheiss2991
      @maiaheiss2991 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@jennyberger6688Maybe, but maybe not even her kids. They may be consigned to fulfilling her fantasy life too. 🤷‍♀️

    • @kellibuzzard9431
      @kellibuzzard9431 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The irony is that this is typically a woman's problem, feeling like she does have control of her body.

  • @susanl4198
    @susanl4198 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Dr Deloney didn't tell Elle what she wanted to hear so she disengaged, giving him the silent treatment at the end. Now, thats some real insight on her part.

  • @kellyshumbleabode1695
    @kellyshumbleabode1695 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I resented my husband for wanting to move from the ranch we lived on and change his career that would take us to the city. We argued like that... Me:"You're not thinking about my dreams!" Him:"Well, you're not thinking of mine!". I knew this would go on forever unless one of us would sacrifice our feelings. John's right, you've got to grieve the loss of your dream, and pray through it all! And stop thinking only about you. I have decided to trust the Lord with the outcome of my husbands decision. We moved to the city, and it's not been easy. But so much good is coming from it. I still don't fully understand why we're here, but the freedom in releasing my fears into God's hands is growing my faith and my love and respect for my husband.

    • @karaa7595
      @karaa7595 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Sometimes the Lord uses the wife to hold her ground bc the husband has a dumb, impulsive, childish idea/goal. So many people are moving OUT of cities for the life you had.

    • @kellyshumbleabode1695
      @kellyshumbleabode1695 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @karaa7595 That is very true in a lot of situations. But there is more to the story, I just gave a very shortened version. God needs his people to be in the cities too. I did hold my ground for a long time, and I believe if we were meant to stay, we would've stayed. The main thing is that I prayed about it and felt like I needed to release my desires to God. It hasn't been easy, and I still have moments when I wish we were back at the ranch. But my marriage is doing so much better, and we are starting to talk and plan about moving back to the mountains again soon.

    • @sarahalderman3126
      @sarahalderman3126 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Which is all good and well until 15 year’s later and you learn the reason he insisted you move was to he closer to his girlfriend…

    • @kellyshumbleabode1695
      @kellyshumbleabode1695 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sarahalderman3126 Oh wow! Did that happen to you?

    • @sarahalderman3126
      @sarahalderman3126 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@kellyshumbleabode1695 different scenario but same result, along with the majority of women unfortunately. Hope things turn out differently for you though.

  • @boxesbinslidsllc
    @boxesbinslidsllc ปีที่แล้ว +46

    He didn't sneak around, they had a discussion and he made a decision that she's angry about. Feelings shouldn't drive you. In addition, you can always adopt. ❤️

    • @mrsmuertabiotches
      @mrsmuertabiotches ปีที่แล้ว +22

      His body, his rules. Sorry, I am on his side. You cannot force a man to have more kids. You already have 6.

    • @_____tbrdgrl____3449
      @_____tbrdgrl____3449 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Please don't raise the subject of adoption or pressure him to adopt when you know he absolutely positively doesn't want any more kids.

    • @purelightapologetics4930
      @purelightapologetics4930 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@mrsmuertabiotchesThey’re married. Their bodies belong to each other. Unless you think it’s okay for wives to let themselves go. Is it also okay for her to tattoo her body to look like a lizard without his permission? How far do you wanna take this? There are so many double standards from men these days.

    • @srobertson422
      @srobertson422 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      "You could always adopt" 😂 like it's free and easy to do.

    • @italkgory99
      @italkgory99 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@purelightapologetics4930he’s given her more than enough. It’s her turn to meet him halfway

  • @shecaptain3444
    @shecaptain3444 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I would have thanked my husband for doing that. We did have 6 kids and were financially strapped.

  • @sarahb1740
    @sarahb1740 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Elle’s entire identity is her kids. That’s why she wants so many. She should focus on herself - those kids are eventually all going to be out of the house no matter how many she has. Her husband might be close behind if he doesn’t leave before that.

  • @nikkita1688
    @nikkita1688 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I wish my husband would just get a vasectomy already. I'm so done. So done putting hormones into my body to make sure we don't have kids. Its the least he could do.

    • @bufficliff8978
      @bufficliff8978 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Stop taking hormones and tell him to pull out.

    • @Will-ef2tw
      @Will-ef2tw 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@bufficliff8978exactly I was thinking the same thing they don't pull out? Wtf?

    • @lorenjones7222
      @lorenjones7222 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Pulling out, as I’m sure you’re aware is not at all effective. Also very crippling of the moment of intimacy.

  • @alexnightray3204
    @alexnightray3204 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    His body, his choice. It's all about what she wants and she repeatedly shut him down after he stated that he wanted a vasectomy. Having 6 kids ID expensive. If she is a stay at home mom and he is the only source of income, he may have to work long hours, which eventually will take a toll on a person physically, emotionally and mentally. Also, how much time would he have to bond with the children?

  • @tmi4507
    @tmi4507 ปีที่แล้ว +174

    Is Elle serious? 6 kids and you’re not done? Especially if he was already talking about it I mean after a point he’s done and you must respect his wants.

    • @DebbieBennett-p5v
      @DebbieBennett-p5v ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I'm glad John said all those things that he did. She has NO time obviously for her husband even BEFORE there were 6. She said that he said he wasn't get what he needed like at baby 3. Good for him making choices for HIS body. I am responsible for my body and wouldn't want a husband telling me how many children I was having. And after 6 kids what shape is her body in...inside and out. She sounds controlling and if he leaves then oh well

    • @michellelee487
      @michellelee487 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      She talks about her feelings. What about her husband’s feelings. She disregards them. Good for him taking control and not having a kid he doesn’t want.

    • @graceniehaus
      @graceniehaus ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I really want to sympathize with her bc I understand a dream of a large family, I have the same dream but 6 is a BIG family & a HUGE blessing.. Husband & I are over here struggling to have just one.... I'd be ecstatic with just one so 6 is like holy cow, hard to feel sympathic for her bc it does seem that her feelings are the only thing that matter to her outside of being a mom.. I think John got through to her in some ways tho so hopefully it can be turned around to a happy family of 8 & not a broken family of 8.... I want everyone to have happy families not broken ones bc in the end what's the point of the big family yall have built if it's then destroyed by your own hand/feelings.

    • @DebbieBennett-p5v
      @DebbieBennett-p5v ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@graceniehaus I have a friend you had the eggs implanted several times and nothing took so they hired a surrogate. Expensive but baby do at first of the year. But I would go to a naturopath. God bless you and show you how to accomplish your dreams

    • @sarahalderman3126
      @sarahalderman3126 ปีที่แล้ว

      As does he…

  • @mrsmuertabiotches
    @mrsmuertabiotches ปีที่แล้ว +34

    His body, his rules. Totally on the man's side.

    • @purelightapologetics4930
      @purelightapologetics4930 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They’re married. Their bodies belong to each other. Unless you think it’s okay for wives to let themselves go. Is it also okay for her to tattoo her body to look like a lizard without his permission? How far do you wanna take this? There are so many double standards from men these days.

    • @JohnJillky
      @JohnJillky ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@purelightapologetics4930their bodies most certainly do not belong to each other. However, they ought to discuss important decisions being made around their bodies, particularly if they affect each other and their family. But a person's body is always their own. What someone else does with the results comes afterwards

    • @Wallbank888
      @Wallbank888 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      This isn't Jerry Springer or AITA on reddit. It's not about who's right and who's wrong. It's about moving forward after conflict.

  • @erikhuisman2487
    @erikhuisman2487 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I dont care who you are, if your partner isnt 100% in on having more kids, you don't hwve more kids.

    • @lorenjones7222
      @lorenjones7222 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What if I have 4 from a previous marriage and don’t want more but my second/present wife never had kids and wants one. We tried IVF with donor sperm because I had a vasectomy. All her eggs produced embryos with fatal trisomies. So I took that as a closed door. I’m not 100% in at all but she wants to get a donated embryo and have a baby. Should I deny her desire? I’m 51 years old and she is 44

    • @anhbarker
      @anhbarker 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@lorenjones7222, did the two of you discuss kids before you got married?

  • @madamebovarycro
    @madamebovarycro ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Elle you do not want to be divorced with 6 kids.

  • @michelekoupai
    @michelekoupai ปีที่แล้ว +2

    @The Dr. John Delony Show I really liked the way you handled this show. Good job!

  • @Neil-rz3zc
    @Neil-rz3zc 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    First caller is a controller, husband has appeased her for 6 kids and he feels responsible for them. Desperation drove him to desperate measures to try and hold it together. Everyone suffers, especially the kids. "Prop in your world...", so true! 30 years in, I had to shut the door on that delusion. At 18 - 20 years old my kids have been chosing to distance themselves and set boundaries with their mom. It causes her pain. Yet, she struggles with her issues being the common denominator for the choices her adult kids & I had to make for mental & emotional health. "No one likes to be controlled..." Spot on!

  • @jesssc402
    @jesssc402 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    It’s one of those very few instances when I can say I cant blame the husband for doing something behind her back, well not entirely as he’s expressed it to her,but she just wouldn’t accept it.

  • @marisolpooh1
    @marisolpooh1 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Is Elle freaking serious 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮 I barely was able to have 2 kids, they are my biggest blessing! Wish god would’ve gave me at least one more ! Selfish woman! Glad he had the surgery done !

  • @AshleyJax
    @AshleyJax 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Why am I tearing up watching Dr John rock out lol must be my “mom heart” even though I’m younger lol
    There’s something about watching a man have fun being a boy and just enjoying his talents

  • @jackie8357
    @jackie8357 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    She doesn't seem very empathetic or reasonable- she doesn't consider the cost financially or time and energy for her other children. Too wrapped up in one identity for herself - it sounds super selfish - finances were hard at 3 kids so then have another 3? What is she thinking

  • @marjorieantoniou2836
    @marjorieantoniou2836 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was the best episode I have listened to from Dr. John out of 100s of episodes. This really resonated with me about conflict, control and resolution.

  • @MisterNightfish
    @MisterNightfish ปีที่แล้ว +104

    Elle sounds like a bit of a nightmare. You can tell that she's been bulldozing all over her husband and he very likely just did what he did as a last resort. Especially once we get to the point where they are already struggling financially with 6 kids (WHO WOULDN'T?!?!) and she wants even more? Nevermind the fact that that's already an insane amount of children, if you can't afford them anymore, STOP. But yet, she either has to get her way or she'll make everyone miserable.

    • @shehnazahmad5213
      @shehnazahmad5213 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Exactly my thought. I was what the hell😂 she cannot be serious. Yooooo

    • @jackie8357
      @jackie8357 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      My thoughts exactly- she sounds awful honestly

    • @silksatinsilver1
      @silksatinsilver1 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It’s really no one else’s business how many children a married couple decided to have as long as they decide together on whether to add another one (& don’t use taxpayers money). Most Americans have huge homes that they can’t afford due to all the big toys they MUST have to impress people who don’t even care about them…so they have huge homes full of trash, but empty of real humans…all because they worry about comments like the ones towards this husband and wife

    • @Will-ef2tw
      @Will-ef2tw 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@silksatinsilver1 having a million kids running amuck in poverty isint a win either.

  • @MitelefonoRoman
    @MitelefonoRoman 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    As a Clinical Counselor Elles control issues are intense. I feel sorry for her husband.

  • @thedavesiknow4598
    @thedavesiknow4598 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    She literally had her husband by the ballz.
    Glad he took them back.

    • @Star_07835
      @Star_07835 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂

  • @hopemadonsela6906
    @hopemadonsela6906 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    "WE have a terrible sex life, we have 6 kids" 😅
    *speaks on the phone,kids can't stop crying*

  • @nathansimpson5721
    @nathansimpson5721 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Elle sounds awful to be married to. She's mad her husband got a vasectomy after having 6 KIDS???? I'm shocked he didn't get one after the 3rd or 4th kid. I feel bad for the husband, his wife feels entitled to make decisions about his body. Whether you are a man or a woman, you shouldn't have complete control over your spouses bodily autonomy (unless medically required).

  • @braddossdfinc9722
    @braddossdfinc9722 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    His body his choice, hate to break that to you

  • @PCKA1987
    @PCKA1987 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Drake sounds like an amazing guy. Wishing you the best, Drake. 🙏

  • @fdoeppen
    @fdoeppen ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Wow, she says finances were a challenge and gets mad at the husband for not wanting to have more kids? She is not listening to him!

  • @erin6083
    @erin6083 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Watching the clip of the band thing: seeing y’all just have fun like that was so adorable! It’s wonderful to see grown people having a true blast like that! Thats how you know you’re doing life right. Good job. 👏

  • @lrhodes9612
    @lrhodes9612 ปีที่แล้ว

    This episode is speaking to my soul. Thank you Dr. John.

  • @LisaPFrampton
    @LisaPFrampton 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I was so Gothic punk when I was in my teens and early twenties. Reminds me of Kelly and John! 😂

  • @nelsomower2705
    @nelsomower2705 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    So Elle, finances were an issue when you had kids #3 & 4, then you had 2 MORE and wonder why he closed up shop? Seems like he did the right thing and you're punishing him for ultimately taking care of the family now and for the future.

  • @kellyeverett
    @kellyeverett ปีที่แล้ว +79

    She’s got some serious psychological issues-wanting more than six kids despite financial issues and conflict with her husband . She needs help

    • @redbougainvillea
      @redbougainvillea ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Bingo

    • @patriciaalbertson5183
      @patriciaalbertson5183 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's for sure. Gadzooks

    • @benascg-ll7sq
      @benascg-ll7sq 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Or, at least, the husband needs a vasectomy

    • @audjusushi
      @audjusushi 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Sometimes when people have marital problems they just keep having kids so both parents have to enter the early infant survival stage and work together. Then the kid gets to be about 3 or 4 and they have another one.

    • @isabelcorrea8432
      @isabelcorrea8432 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      She wants to control him with those kids thats why she keeps having more, she sounds like a nightmare too, like a brat that throws a tantrum when she doesnt get her way

  • @tigerofcopenhagen2225
    @tigerofcopenhagen2225 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Elle's a baby machine...with no inkling on the economic realities and responsibilities that go along with raising children. SIX kids in these times. Wow.

    • @All_forthelove
      @All_forthelove ปีที่แล้ว

      Right?! Just basics like clothes, shoes and food for 8 people (all kids, wife and himself) is just scary 😦 and he can’t even leave without financial ruin (child support for 6 kids and alimony )

    • @Will-ef2tw
      @Will-ef2tw 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@All_forthelove shees going to loose big time too who tf wants to date a single mother of 6 kids and I'm willing to wager she's no swimsuit model at this point. No one wins I'd they break up

  • @charmainepriestman915
    @charmainepriestman915 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This podcast is exceptional thank you !

  • @nrg1123
    @nrg1123 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    John's eyes bugging out at 6:50 from hearing "6 kids" 😂

    • @memories-in-memphis
      @memories-in-memphis 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Did they edit that out? It seems like the camera changes right there. I think he knew right there why the guy got a vasectomy.

  • @john1425
    @john1425 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    God help Ellies husband. No telling what shes put him through.

  • @normantheforeman9866
    @normantheforeman9866 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    At least he’ll know the next kid she has isn’t his. “The more you know”🌈😂

  • @shadeekamendez1743
    @shadeekamendez1743 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very awesome handling of the first call John

  • @John-du2mq
    @John-du2mq ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Stop trying to use kids as a bandaid for your marriage. Kids suffer because of that and totally feel it.

  • @Michelle-js5kh
    @Michelle-js5kh ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The bewilderment of young cashiers when I won’t give my phone number for a meager 40 cents off my purchase is happening more and more often.

  • @ArkansasDeerChaser
    @ArkansasDeerChaser ปีที่แล้ว +11

    He did y’all a favor! Six kids Jesus Christ! He made a smart move, after six your kids have to start raising each other.

  • @pn8326
    @pn8326 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    How about you build an identity outside of popping out more kids? There is so much more to life than having more

    • @sjordan7085
      @sjordan7085 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Oh, you are so polite! Surely, one or two children at most, should be the limit. Why would any sane person need that many especially considering how many need families to adopt them? Total insanity considering the world population does not need any more breeders, period!

  • @TheBmonster1
    @TheBmonster1 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hm lost my job had plans before it happened. Sitting on disability right now with no drive at lol perfect timing

  • @dachater1
    @dachater1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Gosh John did well with this one. I can’t help but think he did it because he was feeling the financial burden of adding more to the family and I wanna say shucks lady you already have 6 kids. I m not justifying that he did this behind her back but perhaps her behavior perpetuated him having to do this.

  • @sc-ds7hx
    @sc-ds7hx ปีที่แล้ว +11

    6 kids is totally enough. She needs a vision for a life for after kids.

    • @karaa7595
      @karaa7595 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      And take full care of the ones she already has and that doesn't end at age 18.

    • @ModdyPuppets
      @ModdyPuppets ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I don’t think she wants kids. She has kids. She wants babies

    • @videofan1010
      @videofan1010 ปีที่แล้ว

      6 children is 4 too many...

  • @danielleb1223
    @danielleb1223 ปีที่แล้ว

    That’s how you clear a room Dr. J

  • @mybdayis420
    @mybdayis420 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    this woman is greedy jeez does she have any idea how much pressure that is to financially provide for a family of 8? My guess would be she is clueless.

    • @karaa7595
      @karaa7595 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      She sounds like she's 12.

  • @joannaevans
    @joannaevans 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I just know Elle got off the phone and thought "this guy doesn't know what he's talking about". Because it didn't go her way, again. 😬

  • @TheGomez1105
    @TheGomez1105 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    If I had 6 kids I would probably do the same.

  • @marijaabromaityte9951
    @marijaabromaityte9951 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for the podcasts! There is always something to take away from them. Very grateful🙏

  • @oritreuben2184
    @oritreuben2184 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love listening to this show. Dr Delony, have you looked into PBSp training? Talk therapy is good at analysis but not at healing. I really recommend this method.

  • @babydollkincaid4584
    @babydollkincaid4584 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You got six kids!!😮 he's done Lady.

  • @lisajeter9511
    @lisajeter9511 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Finances is a #1 reason not to have more children!

  • @troisquarts3659
    @troisquarts3659 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    John boy, you're lucky I respect you a lot, because I lost about 2 ounces of respect for you when I saw that band video. But you can make up for it with a cover of Man in Black.

  • @moecare
    @moecare 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This episode is me. Thank you for sharing.

  • @michelekoupai
    @michelekoupai ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i could not understand the woman with 6 six kids. Dude, chill out. Give your body a break. You have 6 children. Be grateful. Poor guy.

  • @LisaPFrampton
    @LisaPFrampton 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I LOVE Hot Topic!!! Got my favorite things from the store ever 😂😂

  • @andreajenkins9402
    @andreajenkins9402 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you so much for this podcast! I love it! BTW, Drake is cool! :-)

  • @AndiAlexander1
    @AndiAlexander1 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Sounds to me like having kids is an addiction for this woman. Being a mom is great, but you can be a better mom with fewer kids. I suspect she has a history of not feeling able to accomplish anything, and then kids came along. And now the husband has taken away the source of her self-soothing.

  • @barbiesergio7663
    @barbiesergio7663 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The million dollar question Elle is: What does he feel resentment about?? He never asked it. Although I don't think it matters, it was something big that she couldn't handle.

  • @amysimpson3194
    @amysimpson3194 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hot topic? My daughter loves that store and I gotta say, it isn’t cheap.

  • @sharkman027
    @sharkman027 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Release the battle of the bands, I want to see Delony shred.

    • @flashthecorgi2053
      @flashthecorgi2053 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s on YT Ramsey battle of the bands-my weekly low

  • @cindy03709
    @cindy03709 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I don’t get it was she only having intercourse with him for the kids? Cz like that’s a sad way to live

  • @lisajeter9511
    @lisajeter9511 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    There’s more to intimacy than just getting pregnant. He had to do it because he couldn’t trust you not to get pregnant intentionally.

  • @0ptixs
    @0ptixs ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I am constantly disappointed in these comments... guys it is not our job to judge whether these callers are good, bad, in the wrong, wronged by others or anything else. Our only job is to give support and love to these callers. Because these callers are us. And if you called in with your baggage you wouldn't want someone to judge you, you'd want their empathy.

    • @erichchan3
      @erichchan3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I think it is perfectly fine for people to voice different opinions on the phone calls that they hear. It shouldn't be a place where there is only 1 opinion. I think there are certain lines that shouldn't be cross but I don't think anyone is saying anything over the line. Also if the callers do read the comments which I think most don't, they would need a reality check. I think the comments section is showing love and support in that the husband's decision to cut it off does not make him the bad guy. It is easy to fall victim to feel only sorry for the caller when the other person who is not on the phone also needs love, support and compassion.

  • @BubbaSnipe03
    @BubbaSnipe03 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I don’t round up because that’s the way they can make their money back from them already donating

  • @shaquejones4119
    @shaquejones4119 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Everyone look like they had fun including Doc

  • @b.r.7079
    @b.r.7079 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The woman whose husband had a vasetomy behind her back, You need to forgive him. Yes you felt like your deepest desires were ignored. Forgive him so that you can release yourself. Your feelings are valid. Consider this a lousy chapter in your life and move on.

  • @SaystheTruth3
    @SaystheTruth3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Jesus! 6 kids ???? I was done right there! Lol
    Concentrate on making your marriage work & raising your kids correctly. This will last for years.

  • @shellyjohnson8491
    @shellyjohnson8491 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    What was the struggle at kids 3 or 4? Finances. So let's have a bunch more kids?? I'll never understand that.

    • @wonka4
      @wonka4 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Shes ridiculous.

  • @lt8281
    @lt8281 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Okay so, how can we go see John in concert?!

    • @flashthecorgi2053
      @flashthecorgi2053 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ramsey battle of the bands- my weekly low on YT.

  • @Cyblps
    @Cyblps ปีที่แล้ว +11

    The caller is irresponsible for wanting more kids when her marriage is damaged by financial stress, interpersonal relationship with her husband, etc. I don’t understand how parents can have kids without thinking about financial responsibility of getting braces, professional mental health support, or even college. Her marriage is in deep trouble but she wants to bring another human being into her world. That is negligent. She needs to seek professional help for need to have more children.
    What if she becomes a single parent? How will she support her kids?
    I only ask because I became a single parent after my husband died unexpectedly two years ago. Fortunately, he left us a financial safety net for us. I would have been devastated without the financial support. I was able to provide a stability in our living and maintaining our lifestyle because my husband made good financial choices. Providing financial stability is parental responsibility.

  • @kjvacp
    @kjvacp ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Was Elle ever ACTUALLY attracted to her husband?? Or did she jump in bed every time with the thought of "maybe I'll get a kid out of this", with no desire for him at all

  • @hansendesigns
    @hansendesigns 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    ELLE’s problem is not her marriage, her problem is that she needs to find out why she needs so many kids. Especially when there’s financial and marital issues already. Geez

  • @PoetryOf
    @PoetryOf 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If finances were a challenge after kid 3 and life was even more chaotic…why have more kids?? 😳. Why are you not content enough with 6 kids? I grew up with 5 brothers and sisters and although I wouldn’t change that…I LONGED to have less people in the house. I LONGED for just two other siblings. So I truly have a had time understanding why 6 kids isn’t enough-you’re not taking into account the feelings of your husband but also the feelings of your kids(do they even want more siblings?!?!). So frustrating!

  • @starstoryteller
    @starstoryteller 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I think it's crazy a guy can get a vasectomy but God help you as a woman if you want tubes tied or hysterectomy the doctors will actually insist on your husband being involved.
    On the doctor's end it should be equal. Either nobody knows or everybody has to be on board.

  • @kathigratton2286
    @kathigratton2286 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    But yet as a woman, if you go into the hospital to get your tubes tied, you have to have your husband’s consent. How is that even possible that he can go do that without your consent?
    See how the world runs sadly

    • @marissa7459
      @marissa7459 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      WRONG
      A husband's consent is not required for a wife to have her tubes tied. Federal law protects a patient's right to sterilization procedures without requiring male consent.

  • @kathigratton2286
    @kathigratton2286 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I agree you should be able to do whatever you want with your own body. It’s just crazy how that they can do that as a male, but a female can’t without having consent at least that’s what I’ve seen with a couple of friends of mine.
    But I get it it’s a lot of responsibility and I get it he didn’t want anymore and he didn’t want another accident .

    • @CaliCoast805_lovin_life
      @CaliCoast805_lovin_life ปีที่แล้ว

      Just fyi. I can imagine the husband is plenty old enough and had 6 children. The Dr's were not at all concerned about his choice. I believe dr's, just want to make sure you are not going to regret your decision. I have respect for people who make responsible choices and are proactive in choosing birth control. Bless that family! What a wonderful family they have created!

  • @Dumble_saur
    @Dumble_saur 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Wow this was a wild one, I don’t blame him at all though

  • @adamandsuewaits3161
    @adamandsuewaits3161 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hot Topic discussion😂😂😂😂

  • @jtron2020
    @jtron2020 ปีที่แล้ว

    Mind Pump! 💪🏼

  • @vivianworden
    @vivianworden ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This woman can't see the needs of these kids for the future. She'll probably ignore her older children or task them with chores so they get recruited in supporting the moms wishes which is to keep the supply of babies coming

  • @BrittneyWillis-o5l
    @BrittneyWillis-o5l ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The first one … I think she wants him to pay for the fact he made that choice without her. I feel for them both, 6 kids is a lot… I can see why he would, but also, her feelings on having more children was valid too!

    • @sarahalderman3126
      @sarahalderman3126 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly! What he did was a violation of their marital agreement. But ALSO very understandable.

    • @erichchan3
      @erichchan3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sarahalderman3126 We have to remember that in any situation there are 3 sides to every story....hers, his and the truth. We only heard her side of the story. We don't know for sure whether the husband tried to reason with the wife but she still wouldn't budge but my inclination is that he did try. Like John said, men don't just make this nuclear option one morning without understanding the consequences and upsetting the wife. My guess is also the surprise 6th child was the eye opener for him to cap this off.

  • @MachaLatte123
    @MachaLatte123 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    She was controlling and manipulative, and he felt betrayed by the number 6 accident.

  • @joshgruber8527
    @joshgruber8527 ปีที่แล้ว

    Where can we see the whole battle of the bands video??

  • @kytsunman8592
    @kytsunman8592 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Woman you got 6 kids... give the guy a break damn

  • @glai5752
    @glai5752 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I cringed at Elle’s demand. Part of being a responsible and loving parent and partner is the ability to plan together with your spouse on issues like this. She doesn’t get to decide alone on when or how many children to have especially when she said it herself that at 3&4 kids they were having financial hardship.
    There’s something psychologically wrong with this person. She shows no empathy, no good common sense, and a tremendous amount of recklessness. This situation will not end well

  • @PeteBennettUK
    @PeteBennettUK ปีที่แล้ว

    Is the book available on Kindle in the UK please?

  • @reflection8578
    @reflection8578 ปีที่แล้ว

    Is the book going to be available on audible