Another form of gaslighting is when they, very cleverly, play with words as if checking the persons attention (covertly) and more.... An example of it is when everything seems to be going smooth in a conversation with them, specially during hoovering ..and they say something like "Wish I was holding you while its snowing".....and if a person takes it as if the NPD is talking about his/her wish at the moment (even tho there is no " I " in the beginning of a sentence) therefore responding to it in emotional way - the NPD get's to know exactly in what state his/her target is, than what and how to do next !.....And If the target responds to it with "Why would I?" the NPD, again, knows what and how to do next.. but might not respond to that right away as it was not expected.. They once again got the information from that kind of response as well, about the targets state...........................................
DeMars Coaching my gut was screaming at me for 2 mos. I lost weight and didn’t sleep for days at a time. Gaslighting was her primary tool. I just finally said enough! 10 days later I’m starting to come around.
You are so right, they discard you when your spent and have nothing left. Since they have no intention of fixing the damage they have done to you, you become useless to them. The only thing left for them to do is derive pleasure from hurting you in the deepest way possible. Thats why we need to run and never look back. Let them burn in their own fire.
Jeff Delima That's right Jeff. That's why they always wait a little while for you to repair before they break no contact again. They hope you're ready to be a better supply for them.
I do not agree at all. There could be lots of reasons; CPTSD, Autism, communication problem. Its not always malevolence. On the contrary sometimes. Personally what counts is the soul. Guts always know. :)
I was told I admitted to watching porn when I never did so and they even ask you if you remember. It's sick mindfuckery for real. And I used to defend this piece of lying shit who cheated on me.
My husband met a girl at work and trained her. She is a narcissist. She spent 6 months manipulating him. Three years later they had an affair. He is a mess he doesn’t understand why he had the affair. She tried to make him leave me but he refused and left her. She won’t go away, she is hoovering and always trying to contact him and make him feel guilty. I know he would have never had an affair if she didn’t make him think our marriage was terrible. Your videos are great! They are very helpful!
That was an excellent description of a narccisist! Sometimes when someone asks me "what's a narccisist?" I don't know where to start! But you've summed it up in 12 minutes. I think I'll play this video the next time someone asks me.
The gaslighting was what did me in. I really felt crazy to the point that I didn't think I had any rights. As example, when I found his host of lies on his public Twitter page (b/c the dummy had linked to something of mine), I found myself feeling fearful that he'd be angry with me for finding it. 'Did I violate his privacy?' That was the 1st thing that went through me, not that he'd been lying to me for 7 yrs--and this was a PUBLIC page. You can see how messed I was in the head. Always about tip toeing around him, trying not to upset him. By then end he was telling me I needed 'professional help' and that I was 'needy' yet I wasn't like that before I knew him. Funny how that works, huh? Poor him. Poor, poor him.
Jessica S Yeah Jessica, you're so needy. Why do you have to be with someone that loves you? Why can't you just give everything you have to him and be happy getting nothing in return from him... God you're so needy! What a piece of shit! He's a needy ass bitch that can't do anything for anyone else. I'm sorry, I get angry sometimes. A man should love you and treat you like you deserve, perfect!
I never would have placed those demands on him if he hadn't showered me with so much attention the 1st 2.5 yrs I knew him. I thought the relationship meant the same to him as it did me, (why would he do that otherwise) but I saw I was wrong. I ended up feeling foolish for thinking I should be treated like I matter to him. 'My life is none of your business' is what he told me, after our years of conversation and exchanges. What? So what am I then? And then I stuck around hoping the person he was in the beginning would return, and lo and behold--he never did. What a shock.
This is so spot on. My ex used to regularly fuck up time lines; I couldn't get my head around how someone could be so illogical. She would also tell me about/show me messages from guys hitting on her all the time, to make me jealous, then accuse me of being too sensitive when I told her to stop. She would gaslight me by insulting me and then would say she was just joking or that she 'just writes random things sometimes' (which makes no sense at all!). She continuously pushed and pulled, begging and pleading me to say when I tried to leave. After 7 months (I was lucky it wasn't longer!) she discarded me, the day after a date where she said how comfortable she felt with me, and how it was the best date she had ever had. She blocked me on everything, kept my possessions at her house, and gave me no explanation as to why. These people are dangerous. Even though my gut was screaming all the way through, that the relationship was toxic, I held onto a shred of hope that things might change. Don't do it to yourselves!
Sometimes the similarities are creepy. The whole twisting the timeline on arguments... man, that shit drove me crazy. I actually started keeping a daily log of events and arguments just for my own sanity. I do remember thinking... this is probably not the sign of a healthy relationship...
Terra Tamblyn Exactly! I have never used this much energy, time, money,. They will make you think about them all the time. They will cause all kinds of stress, they will make you solve their problems. They will.make you feel sorry for them to the point of absolute pity!
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend HGTudor who's a Narcissist calls it EVERPRESENSE . Watch his video on it and others if you haven't seen. Will really hit home. It's ..Knowing The Narcissist. Great videos David. Thanks!
I can totally relate with this. I’m glad the narcissist is out of my life and I get to live my life the way I want. Thanks for posting this. Time to heal now.
Learning the term 'Gaslighting' was an anchor for me. The term 'Stonewalling' is another hard lesson. When co-parenting with a narcissist I am learning to document and restrict all unnecessary contact. Narcissists will play with the timeline even when the trail is as bold as tracks in the snow. Then the narc will poke their child in the shame about how stupid their other parent is. Confront the narc and when an answer is required none comes from the narcissist...gaslight on stonewall. Keep sharing your knowledge, David. Thank you.
David your videos have really helped my recovery. I figured out what she was before the discard which helped lessen the blow. I knew it was coming. Luckily it was a long distance thing. 1400 miles apart. Haven't seen her for six months and have been no contact for 3 weeks. I confronted her about her lies and started calling her out on gas lighting. She flipped out. Silent treatment for 6 days gave me time to learn and start healing. Last phone call with her was nice. The discard came the next day via instagram post of a meme. Very cowardly. Her new fuel source is an idiot with low self esteem. He can have her. Poor guy. Onwards and upwards. Much love.
Futzmeister Glitch Thank you so much for your support, I am glad you're done with her. You are lucky the both of you are separated by so much distance, it makes it unbelievably easier. Keep going!
I SWEAR... YOU ARE SO ON POINT ABOUT THE TIMELINE...LOL. I was literally trying to explain this and I couldn't because I was frustrated. But YOU...omg.. you did this perfectly!
My narc left me. He made me believe that I was crazy and I was the cause of the break up. I still struggle with trusting my own judgement because he made me believe that everything was my own fault.
Wow it's true you don't realize how much gas lighting and manipulation they did until you separate yourself from them. It doesn't matter how intelligent you are they seem to find a way to make you believe you imagined situations or rearrange time lines in their favor. This was an eyeopener for me, among others things. How sad that we live in a society where these individuals exist.
OMG timelines......My ex narc would berate me and "say when, when did i say/do that?? Tell me! What day/time?? If you can't tell me then it never happened".
I remember watching this video and your other ones 3-4 years ago when I was really going through it with my ex. Your videos really helped me! No contact for 3 years and he’s ruining this other girls life. Sad but they continue on... Thank you for these videos, I see you still do them!
Thank u so much for ur videos!! He did the unspeakable to me and my children in July. U have shown me that I’m not the Crazy one. I’m struggling and heartbroken
The actions not meeting words is a great topic. This lady could tell me 1 thing and do the EXACT OPPOSITE a day later. She would agree with me on something big, have a cry about it and a week later pretend like that never happened.
I really appreciate your videos. You're real & brutally honest & I'm pissed off @ what was done to me & you're allowing me to feel pissed off. Thank you for helping all of us get through this bullshit! :)
I know this video is dated as to my response "but" I only found your content about a week or two ago. So I've been watching your videos on the excess! This one hit me straight to the heart. Like such pain and discuss all at the same time, tears of a monsoon have burst from my eyes. I've been living in denial for 12yrs. I will now be getting help. Last year I met a friend who mentioned to me that my husband was a narcissist. She specifically said cerebral narcissist and I couldn't believe what I heard. But since following you Sir I believe and now going to get help. Thank you!
Hi David, G-d knows's if I will ever trust again ........I have been to hell and back. I can't believe I survived Double whammy I married a narcissist. And I had one in my business. They both tried to drive me crazy at the same time. She was my friend.Long story short they were not successful. I think I surprised the both of them. I'm not as stupid as they thought SUPRISE! But unfortunately the scars are still in my heart, and it still hurts. I love people My work thrives on trust and if I loose that the 2 Devils would win. But that is not the case. I am so happy to have found your channel. Thank you for being so real. I needed to hear this tonight, and I did :)
He couldn’t stand me being happy, singing to myself, feeling confident, knowing something better than him. He would ACTUALLY SAY THIS - “I cannot allow your bubbly happiness. I have to knock it down. JUST KIDDING!” And he was never wrong. Still is never wrong. He never admitted his affair- even when I had their texts and emails in front of him. He HAS to blame me with insane accusations so he can look at himself in the mirror, and sleep at night, to drown the guilt and shame. He wouldn’t stop giving me errands to run for him ‘because ‘your time is worthless, it’s free, I have the job.’ I started saying I am not your personal assistant. And he was never grateful even if I did run his errand - no ‘thank you’, no appreciation, just a ‘ so what ‘ ?’
You are soo right. Big respect for your work! I couldt stand them because there was always this jealousy issue and controlling and make me doubt for who i am as a individual and person. I did everything for him and i loved him but he dumped me all of the sudden. He said he was sorry but then after few days he said again these horrible things.
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Thank you so much! Honestly coming out after this kind of relationship with a narcissistic. It not only destroy my self-esteem but also lower so much or my confidence. 😢
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Sorry for the late reply. it's has been 4months and half and I am still recovering gradually. sometimes I think about the past and realizing it was all fake. 2 of my friends here were also dated a narcissistic. it took them so long to get over and we are now all scared to dating or commitment someone again.
Another great video. Thank you for this! I was just thinking about this subject the other day. I used to be so fearless. So sure of myself. I let him take that from me. I'm slowly getting back to the place where I can at least maintain eye contact again, when I'm speaking with someone. I really appreciate your videos. Thank you for taking the time to make them.
I feel like my relationship with a narc has affected me so deeply. I don't want to see my friends anymore, even though my whole life I have been quite an extrovert and I really do have some lovely friends. When you talked about that "push-pull" thing - My ex did that so much, I ended up feeling completely disoriented, worn-down and just so very, very sad and confused. The mad thing is, he told me that is what his ex did to him. I don't believe a word of it. Very glad to be free from this relationship but just hoping at some point I will feel more like my old self again.
Sylvie Francoise Take the time you need to heal and use it learning about what happened and why. The information to heal is in my videos. Any questions, please ask. Thank you Sylvie.
Thank you so much for your sharing and uploading. You are a wise man. I live in the Netherlands, but I subscribed you because you are that good in teaching me. And since a am a 40 yo male, it is so refreshing to see that I am not the only one with a toxic ex in my life.
I really wish I could have found these videos sooner. It might have save me from the humiliation. Smear campaign was brutal. Thank you for the advice. Angel R. Welch
Your videos really help me with the grieving process and understanding this person, it makes me want to throw up but at least now I have some sort of closure in a way... knowing they are too screwed up to ever change, to ever truly love or miss me, ugh
This is so dead on its freaky. My ex narc went as far as to make me believe that i had problems with my mother (which i never have) and that it was causing all our problems in the relationship. I actually went to therapy for it, realizing later that it was nothing at all to do with me. She persisted, and became extremely angry that i stopped going, even though while i was going, she was telling me it wasn't making any difference. She also projected on me how she always thought i was cheating, or talking to other women while she was doing it the entire time with her new victim.
Hi David thank you for your videos. They are definitely THE most informative and helpful I have seen since I have been researching this very real personality disorder. Covert Narcissism. After recently being discarded by a narcissist EVERYTHING that you talk about now makes perfect sense. I have suffered all the consequences of this narcissistic discard. I am much better than I was just after it first happened but still find myself wanting to confront him and tell him exactly what an asshole I think he is and that I now KNOW what he is and how he operates. He already "hates" me for absolutely no reason - actually because I began to 'unmask' him and he was 'offended'!!! I know that confrontation with him would make absolutely NO difference to who he actually is and what he does and would only give him back the power. So .... what I am asking I really have the answer in my mind - DO NOT try to confront him. Would you advise me against this. I am sure you would! Anyway thank you again. I am so enjoying watching your talks and they are helping me so much.
I just found out a week ago and this video helps me so much getting through this nightmare, watching it a couple times a day. Everything is on point. So glad everything finally makes sense. Thank you!
David in Ottawa, my ex-narc was constantly telling me, how I could never be wrong, that was her projecting her inability to be wrong onto me I am sure. it was silly how often she would say it, and I was like no I am wrong often. I was certainly wrong staying with her! LOL Good video, back in 2017 the tempo was very different from 2020, but still an informative video.
My GC brother will always give advice, all day and every day to anyone about anything. No matter where we are or what we are doing, he's an expert and will force himself into other people's conversations even. He knows everything there is to know about everything. It's so interesting that he's so knowledgeable yet can't get his shit together in the least.
Yes I agree about texting and calling you and keeping you up all night. I had forgotten about that. It’s been 4 years no contact. At first it felt great to get all the attention but then you start getting that gut feeling that something isn’t right. And it continues to get worse. That combined with the doubt is the worst abuse to have to suffer through. I don’t let it happen to me anymore, either I fight back or I completely avoid.
Julie Swarbrick I'm sorry Julie bit most of us have to hit the bottom and then punch through it. I'm glad you're ok, and you are. This is not you're fault so don't feel ashamed of anything. How you feel is normal. The information to heal from this is on this channel. Ask me anything. Thank you for your comment.
thx david , one more great video, you answered may be 90% of my questions in your videos, still wonder of one thing david, the end of those evil people how will be..!!
Not "sharing" where they went or what they did is also lying. I fell into that . I'd ask what he did that weekend , he'd say. "Not much ". Meanwhile he went here and there and saw x y z. The truth always came out but I couldn't say anything because I found it on FB. He'd turn it around as to "why are you stalking me on FB" when really all I had to do was say where you went. My brain and heart were always racing and aching
He would change the subject, then pretend he didnt know what I was talking about, or give all the points except for the main point, not answer talk over me. He'd constantly make false allegations, then either not let me speak, or just suddenly silent, or walk out angry. But I've learned if something doesn't seem right trust yourself. No one has a right to uour table. You decide who earns the right to sit there.
This is sick really. when I was little, my mother took me to a relative where there was a dog and I was so scared that I started running away and that dog also started running after me, it was playing with me and I was scared I started crying. This incident made a huge impact on me and my mother seemed like enjoyed it and it wasn't serious for her. I was also ashamed of being scared of dogs. She deliberately mentioned the incident publicly every time she got chance.
Thank you. I didn't realize it's all gaslighting. All of it. And just when you think you know them and something they manipulated you into believing, they will pull out the rug from under you, and leave you with no truth. It dismantles your entire sense of reality and what we think we know about them. How do we feel close to someone? By knowing them, through the things they share, the details you observe, and what they make you believe day in and day out about themselves. And some things you take at face value (because you're not born a detective and don't enter into the relationship initially as a detective..they craft that), as you would in a normal relationship. This is before you start having the doubts, and confusion and inner torment. This is when they get inside your psyche and cement an image of themselves inside you. Little do you know that even in the beginning, everything is gaslighting. That's why it drives you crazy. Because it's a process of making you believe something about them, and then disproving or denying the lies they sold you about themselves in the first place. So everything you 'know,' or think you know about them, is a lie. That leaves you spinning forever. Everything, down to the details of their likes and dislikes, which with a normal person builds the basis of you understanding their personality, all this mental going back and forth, leaves you feeling unstable and completely unsafe in your 'knowledge,' sense of judgement and grasp on reality. I guess there's no reality with them. It's like a play they live in. I still feel betrayed, because I didn't know who he Really was, and I feel cheated out of getting to know his true self..but I guess that's the tragedy, if there's no true self there. Thank you for reading and making perfect sense in your videos!
Stacey Love That's right, it starts the second you meet them and it can go on forever. They show us what we want to see. They sell us a dream. We chase that dream even when it turns to a nightmare. We want that dream back so bad, some of us chase it forever, long after the discard. Years after we have lost our dream maker, we still have hope the dream will come true. Some of us never wake up, sometimes it goes on forever. Thank you Stacey, I'm sorry but it was just a dream you were chasing while living a nightmare. I'm glad you have woken up.
Terra Tamblyn I so understand in my own way and through my own experience. I don't know how he got me to feel these things either. So much so that the memory of what I felt during that time, and the experience of what I went through emotionally, it was a sense of hope, belonging to him (in a good way) and belonging to something, a new beginning. It was all in my head I guess. He had his own plans/agenda that just weren't apparent to me yet. I don't know why he wanted to do this with me, to the point of involving my family in it and regularly saying he wants to spend time with them, but I guess I just crossed paths with a malignant person who took great pleasure in toying with and watching me suffer, to a dangerous, self-destructive level for me. He really was my enemy from how out-to-get-me he was, even if it wasn't personal and just "business as usual" for him, as I've heard it be said. Not having closure is hard, and you know what I actually felt scared of yesterday? The thought that I'm starting to forget things having to do with him..like that it's fading in my mind, less clear, and becoming more of a distant memory, when I haven't emotionally made peace with it yet or worked through it all yet. I don't know why, but the realization of this scared me a little. Not that I want to keep remembering it, but that I'd be letting go of something foreign that was a huge part of me, but that I never totally grasped or got to the bottom of. I know they cannot give closure, but it's still hard to let go completely, because whatever this is had a huge piece of me and it still does in a lot of ways, which I don't want to fully acknowledge yet. And I just realized that taking it away leaves a void, I think David said this too..emotionally. So many layers to this..
Terra Tamblyn Terra, the more independent you become and the happier you make yourself, the less people can hurt you. Understand the importance and power boundaries have. Boundaries tells someone just how strong a person you are. It demands respect and makes toxic people give up quickly.
Terra Tamblyn If we fall in love with an abuser than our boundaries were not strong enough. You should strive to be a more improved self rather than your old self.
Terra Tamblyn I totally relate to the idea of really seeing how much this affected me when thinking about ever being vulnerable with someone else and imagining it. You won't stay there forever Terra. It will dissipate, just like the beginning parts and how the void of it disappeared for you. Hugs to you and yes, you can speak up if someone tries to cut you in line. Sometimes I think let me be quiet and not say anything, but even by body language or look, people will usually pick up on if they accidentally cut you in line or if it bothered you. I think we've all let other people go before us if they've been in a hurry or something at the store and also had people let us go before them , but it's about knowing like David said that you're just as important as anyone else and their needs don't come before yours :). I personally am tired of acting like other people's wants/needs/preferences and feelings are more important than mine.
I could never describe exactly how my spouse made me feel. I used to say, “you make me feel unique in a bad way, you make me feel less than, never enough”. Now that I know what he is what a lightbulb moment! Almost 6 months free.
This stuff is real and very paramount that people learn about these personas. It is more of a deficiency than anything. They cannot be empathetic, at all. Most people you run into are like this. Especially, in the United States.
I may be taking on the narc traits. Easily agitated.. And not feeling very nice to b around. But listen to the things a narc tells you. If they call you stupid.. They might feel stupid. If they say you'd never find anyone to love u like them; chances are they won't find ANYONE that wants all of their nothing while you give them everything.
Iv been looking at your uploads. I wish I did not need to though. I like the way you come across and explain things. I had no idea what MGTOW was awhile back and no idea what gas lighting was. Crazy that I used to be a logical as a Vulcan I was in the Army a Boxer and I was bought to my knees by a woman. I did not see it coming at all. I think being logical and trying to work things out that you do not understand is the worst thing and being empathetic also did not help me. I wish everyone was like the people I grow up with as it straight and honest. Iv got no time now for anyone that is not honest or does not talk straight. I can tell by your videos that you actually care about things that hurt people so massive respect to you ! I really can see that its mostly men now that have empathy etc where it used to be women had way more of that then men. What has happened to the sexes over the last 30 years as iv seen a massive change in gender change. Its like men have turned soft and women cold. I think more women cheat now then men were it used to be the other way around. It amazed me to find out from an upload of an expert that men mostly stay single after a brake up for a long time and yet woman replace you quick as if you were a pair of shoes. From what im learning from experts is a lot of women do not love men how men need to be loved. No longer team players no longer what can I bring to the relationship and its all about them. Sorry I went off on one then lol. Maybe its just me but on a lot of your videos it comes across like your reliving a bad experience when you say things.
It’s amazing to me how they ALL do these tactics. It’s like they all read a manual on how to drive your partner to insanity. Crazy how they’re all basically the same toxic, crazy making sadists
Great vid man. Spot on to what my narc did. They are all the same. Keep it up man because this stuff is so therapeutic for me and anyone else going through this. Right now im going through the hatred and rage stage. I hate her so much for what she did. Is this normal? I will forgive in time but they are demonic vampires.
Jeff Delima Thank you Jeff! Yes anger is normal and feel it! You don't have to ever forgive anyone either. Forget you will, but forgive never. Fuck them!
They wont let you bring up the past or mistakes they did. They will leave you then comeback again if they need you as if nothing happened. They cant talk about what they did and it will make you crazy.
that's so to the point about the timeline he blame me by saying that's the consequences I still don't know if he is a narcissist or not but he's definetly a manipulator
Awesome. The one I was recently with would disappear for 2 or 3 days, ignore my calls and text. Then tell me I'm possessive if I said it bothers me when you blow me off. The place she lived, I went from coming over and spending the night to I'm not allowed over at all because the landlord said so, she blamed the landlord. And not posting any pictures of us on Facebook together, or changing her status from single. Then she is with the new guy for 5 seconds and she's plastering pictures of the 2 of them on FB and how incredible there relationship is. And if I ask her flat out if she was cheating, she would say I'm crazy and jealous. Never, ever, ever admitted to anything. I can't believe I put up with this nonsense.
I seen this movie on Turner classic movies it was a great movie,and I got the full understanding of gaslighting...I recommend everyone to watch it as well.
My ex husband of 25 years did a lot of gaslighting. I never actually believed he was telling the truth and making me feel crazy until he moved out, then I had a basic feeling of creepiness that I couldn't describe. I only know that nothing bad ever happened when he was not around. No gaslighting no nothing icky. But, I still felt like something wasn't quite right with me. I guess maybe that's the PTSD of narcissism. Now after years of being away from him, I still wonder if other people think I'm strange. They must wear themselves out trying to make someone else feel worn out
OMG I went through every single thing you brought up......that sick SOB I remember his favorite way to start a fight at the end of an almost fight free day, he would would ask me a question about something he never talked about then accuse me of not paying attention to him or not listening to him......then say, "you see, you don't listen to me, nobody does, you're no different" always grouping me with everybody else that doesn't live up to his standards....UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH I get so angry when I think about it, but then I wish I didn't get angry because it's like still giving him supply,,,,,,,,,this is so sad
Omg reminds of that moment I woke up to his gaslighting. Like he messed so bad with the timeline of events and said I'm having a bad memory or imagining things.
I heard that gaslight, and I know he's doing to me all the time,,but why we're stir believe their lies..your right they make us doubts ourselves..although we knew they are narcist..they really really good manipulators...
Great informative video again. I've always wondered if their close relatives see them for what they are. My ex would bad mouth me too his mum, aunt & a friend he worked with, forgetting of course each time to tell them what he did to me! 🙄 Why don't they see through his lies if they are family & close to him? Or do they see it, and keep their thoughts to themselves so that their family "look good" on the outside. ??
My brothers has 3 kids each. I have 3 siblings. I want 3 kids most. I made this obvious to her. She would always say at random moments how I told her I didnt want kids. I said, how would I not want kids if I love my nieces and nephew to death? And then I told her, listen, even if I did say that, which i didnt, i am telling you right now and you better not say anything about this. I WANT KIDS! These are sick individuals honestly. When I was with her I gained weight, lost all confidence, lost my out going side, lost the ability to have conversations with people, started balding, second guessing myself, started smoking a lot of weed, and have this negative energy. Evil sick sadistic people. Not with her I am finishing my associates, got a better job, losing weight, stopped smoking weed altogether, and getting my old self back. I enjoy the little moments of pure happiness. Even if it last for a few moments, it's a great feeling to experience again. Things didn't get better guys. I also had to deal with CPTSD. It's an up hill battle but trust me guys and gals, you can do it and you will become a better person. You'll learn to love yourself and be self sufficient. And you also reevaluate your friends and see what you've been letting slide.
Stop doubting yourself and trust your own judgement!
Another form of gaslighting is when they, very cleverly, play with words as if checking the persons attention (covertly) and more.... An example of it is when everything seems to be going smooth in a conversation with them, specially during hoovering ..and they say something like "Wish I was holding you while its snowing".....and if a person takes it as if the NPD is talking about his/her wish at the moment (even tho there is no " I " in the beginning of a sentence) therefore responding to it in emotional way - the NPD get's to know exactly in what state his/her target is, than what and how to do next !.....And If the target responds to it with "Why would I?" the NPD, again, knows what and how to do next.. but might not respond to that right away as it was not expected.. They once again got the information from that kind of response as well, about the targets state...........................................
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend thank you so much for everything
DeMars Coaching my gut was screaming at me for 2 mos. I lost weight and didn’t sleep for days at a time. Gaslighting was her primary tool. I just finally said enough! 10 days later I’m starting to come around.
Thank you
You are so right, they discard you when your spent and have nothing left. Since they have no intention of fixing the damage they have done to you, you become useless to them. The only thing left for them to do is derive pleasure from hurting you in the deepest way possible. Thats why we need to run and never look back. Let them burn in their own fire.
Jeff Delima That's right Jeff. That's why they always wait a little while for you to repair before they break no contact again. They hope you're ready to be a better supply for them.
Jeff Delima that’s it in a nutshell!
The moment when someone words don’t match their actions, even if it’s a small thing. LEAVE
I do not agree at all. There could be lots of reasons; CPTSD, Autism, communication problem. Its not always malevolence. On the contrary sometimes. Personally what counts is the soul. Guts always know. :)
he ALWAYS would accuse me of saying things I never said!
Angela Ramiirez Blame shifting and projection. All Narcissistic mind fuckery!
Thank you Angela!
I was told I admitted to watching porn when I never did so and they even ask you if you remember.
It's sick mindfuckery for real. And I used to defend this piece of lying shit who cheated on me.
Yep.That shit pissed me off to no end
Very popular tactic.Nothing is good with narcissistic people.Never is late to leave them.
I can’t count how many times in 32 years I heard, “I never said that!” “You misunderstood.”
Pay attention. You will start too see through their BS. But also never forget to follow your intuition.
My husband met a girl at work and trained her. She is a narcissist. She spent 6 months manipulating
him. Three years later they had an affair. He is a mess he doesn’t understand why he had the affair. She tried to make him leave me but he refused and left her. She won’t go away, she is hoovering and always trying to contact him and make him feel guilty. I know he would have never had an affair if she didn’t make him think our marriage was terrible. Your videos are great! They are very helpful!
That was an excellent description of a narccisist! Sometimes when someone asks me "what's a narccisist?" I don't know where to start! But you've summed it up in 12 minutes. I think I'll play this video the next time someone asks me.
The gaslighting was what did me in. I really felt crazy to the point that I didn't think I had any rights. As example, when I found his host of lies on his public Twitter page (b/c the dummy had linked to something of mine), I found myself feeling fearful that he'd be angry with me for finding it. 'Did I violate his privacy?' That was the 1st thing that went through me, not that he'd been lying to me for 7 yrs--and this was a PUBLIC page. You can see how messed I was in the head.
Always about tip toeing around him, trying not to upset him. By then end he was telling me I needed 'professional help' and that I was 'needy' yet I wasn't like that before I knew him. Funny how that works, huh? Poor him. Poor, poor him.
Jessica S Yeah Jessica, you're so needy. Why do you have to be with someone that loves you? Why can't you just give everything you have to him and be happy getting nothing in return from him... God you're so needy!
What a piece of shit! He's a needy ass bitch that can't do anything for anyone else. I'm sorry, I get angry sometimes.
A man should love you and treat you like you deserve, perfect!
I never would have placed those demands on him if he hadn't showered me with so much attention the 1st 2.5 yrs I knew him. I thought the relationship meant the same to him as it did me, (why would he do that otherwise) but I saw I was wrong. I ended up feeling foolish for thinking I should be treated like I matter to him. 'My life is none of your business' is what he told me, after our years of conversation and exchanges. What? So what am I then? And then I stuck around hoping the person he was in the beginning would return, and lo and behold--he never did. What a shock.
Jessica S The whole process is a shock. Each step is a shock. It's so abnormal that any reaction to it is normal.
This is so true. Whenever I was afraid of something I Iearned, the hard way, not to tell them!!
This is so spot on. My ex used to regularly fuck up time lines; I couldn't get my head around how someone could be so illogical. She would also tell me about/show me messages from guys hitting on her all the time, to make me jealous, then accuse me of being too sensitive when I told her to stop. She would gaslight me by insulting me and then would say she was just joking or that she 'just writes random things sometimes' (which makes no sense at all!). She continuously pushed and pulled, begging and pleading me to say when I tried to leave. After 7 months (I was lucky it wasn't longer!) she discarded me, the day after a date where she said how comfortable she felt with me, and how it was the best date she had ever had. She blocked me on everything, kept my possessions at her house, and gave me no explanation as to why.
These people are dangerous. Even though my gut was screaming all the way through, that the relationship was toxic, I held onto a shred of hope that things might change. Don't do it to yourselves!
dude, this.is.pure.gold.
claudiu vasadi Thank you Claudiu!
Sometimes the similarities are creepy. The whole twisting the timeline on arguments... man, that shit drove me crazy. I actually started keeping a daily log of events and arguments just for my own sanity. I do remember thinking... this is probably not the sign of a healthy relationship...
Italo Samano It's a sign that they don't really love you but it's so covert it's hard to see.
Thank you.
Terra Tamblyn
Sometimes I would write down everything she did for hours. Just crazy behavior that all had intent.
Terra Tamblyn Exactly! I have never used this much energy, time, money,.
They will make you think about them all the time. They will cause all kinds of stress, they will make you solve their problems. They will.make you feel sorry for them to the point of absolute pity!
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend HGTudor who's a Narcissist calls it EVERPRESENSE . Watch his video on it and others if you haven't seen. Will really hit home. It's ..Knowing The Narcissist. Great videos David. Thanks!
Irish Eyes I know it.
I can totally relate with this. I’m glad the narcissist is out of my life and I get to live my life the way I want. Thanks for posting this. Time to heal now.
Learning the term 'Gaslighting' was an anchor for me. The term 'Stonewalling' is another hard lesson. When co-parenting with a narcissist I am learning to document and restrict all unnecessary contact. Narcissists will play with the timeline even when the trail is as bold as tracks in the snow. Then the narc will poke their child in the shame about how stupid their other parent is. Confront the narc and when an answer is required none comes from the narcissist...gaslight on stonewall. Keep sharing your knowledge, David. Thank you.
Liz McGee I will Liz and thank you!
David your videos have really helped my recovery. I figured out what she was before the discard which helped lessen the blow. I knew it was coming. Luckily it was a long distance thing. 1400 miles apart. Haven't seen her for six months and have been no contact for 3 weeks. I confronted her about her lies and started calling her out on gas lighting. She flipped out. Silent treatment for 6 days gave me time to learn and start healing. Last phone call with her was nice. The discard came the next day via instagram post of a meme. Very cowardly. Her new fuel source is an idiot with low self esteem. He can have her. Poor guy. Onwards and upwards. Much love.
Futzmeister Glitch Thank you so much for your support, I am glad you're done with her. You are lucky the both of you are separated by so much distance, it makes it unbelievably easier. Keep going!
I SWEAR... YOU ARE SO ON POINT ABOUT THE TIMELINE...LOL. I was literally trying to explain this and I couldn't because I was frustrated. But YOU...omg.. you did this perfectly!
My narc left me. He made me believe that I was crazy and I was the cause of the break up. I still struggle with trusting my own judgement because he made me believe that everything was my own fault.
Wow it's true you don't realize how much gas lighting and manipulation they did until you separate yourself from them. It doesn't matter how intelligent you are they seem to find a way to make you believe you imagined situations or rearrange time lines in their favor. This was an eyeopener for me, among others things. How sad that we live in a society where these individuals exist.
OMG timelines......My ex narc would berate me and "say when, when did i say/do that?? Tell me! What day/time?? If you can't tell me then it never happened".
Dawn Mc42 Never let anyone do that to you again. Thank you.
You've changed my life. Of all the videos on TH-cam you have it spot on.
I remember watching this video and your other ones 3-4 years ago when I was really going through it with my ex. Your videos really helped me! No contact for 3 years and he’s ruining this other girls life. Sad but they continue on...
Thank you for these videos, I see you still do them!
Thank u so much for ur videos!! He did the unspeakable to me and my children in July. U have shown me that I’m not the Crazy one. I’m struggling and heartbroken
The actions not meeting words is a great topic. This lady could tell me 1 thing and do the EXACT OPPOSITE a day later. She would agree with me on something big, have a cry about it and a week later pretend like that never happened.
Thomas Geelens Apply that to everyone, thank you.
I really appreciate your videos. You're real & brutally honest & I'm pissed off @ what was done to me & you're allowing me to feel pissed off. Thank you for helping all of us get through this bullshit! :)
I know this video is dated as to my response "but" I only found your content about a week or two ago. So I've been watching your videos on the excess! This one hit me straight to the heart. Like such pain and discuss all at the same time, tears of a monsoon have burst from my eyes. I've been living in denial for 12yrs. I will now be getting help.
Last year I met a friend who mentioned to me that my husband was a narcissist. She specifically said cerebral narcissist and I couldn't believe what I heard. But since following you Sir I believe and now going to get help. Thank you!
Just curious. Your husband is a narcissist, yet you say you were going to get help. Help to move away from him?
Hi David, G-d knows's if I will ever trust again ........I have been to hell and back. I can't believe I survived Double whammy I married a narcissist. And I had one in my business. They both tried to drive me crazy at the same time. She was my friend.Long story short they were not successful. I think I surprised the both of them. I'm not as stupid as they thought SUPRISE! But unfortunately the scars are still in my heart, and it still hurts. I love people My work thrives on trust and if I loose that the 2 Devils would win. But that is not the case. I am so happy to have found your channel. Thank you for being so real. I needed to hear this tonight,
and I did :)
Rach Gavrieli Hello Rach, thank you for your nice comment and welcome to the channel. I'm glad I could help please ask me anything.
He couldn’t stand me being happy, singing to myself, feeling confident, knowing something better than him.
He would ACTUALLY SAY THIS - “I cannot allow your bubbly happiness. I have to knock it down. JUST KIDDING!”
And he was never wrong. Still is never wrong. He never admitted his affair- even when I had their texts and emails in front of him.
He HAS to blame me with insane accusations so he can look at himself in the mirror, and sleep at night, to drown the guilt and shame.
He wouldn’t stop giving me errands to run for him ‘because ‘your time is worthless, it’s free, I have the job.’
I started saying I am not your personal assistant.
And he was never grateful even if I did run his errand - no ‘thank you’, no appreciation, just a ‘ so what ‘ ?’
Wow just spoke about this. These ppl are insane.
wow the video is short but spot on brother, thank you!!!
Jaime Matus You are so welcome Jaime.
I like your older videos better, the first ones you did. they're more raw and authentic.
Really great video, thanks! You have very concise delivery. God, I'm so done with NPDs.
Lorna Effy Thank you so much Lorna and welcome to the the channel.
This video is dead on!!
This video is KEY for understanding. Every time I watch it I feel I learn a little more.
Rocio Velazquez Awesome!
You are soo right. Big respect for your work! I couldt stand them because there was always this jealousy issue and controlling and make me doubt for who i am as a individual and person. I did everything for him and i loved him but he dumped me all of the sudden. He said he was sorry but then after few days he said again these horrible things.
Xiaoli Wang Don't ever let people make you doubt yourself. You know who you are better than anyone else.
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Thank you so much! Honestly coming out after this kind of relationship with a narcissistic. It not only destroy my self-esteem but also lower so much or my confidence. 😢
Xiaoli Wang Talk about it with someone.
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Sorry for the late reply. it's has been 4months and half and I am still recovering gradually. sometimes I think about the past and realizing it was all fake. 2 of my friends here were also dated a narcissistic. it took them so long to get over and we are now all scared to dating or commitment someone again.
Xiaoli Wang They hate boundaries. Have boundaries and they can't do anything to you.
Another great video. Thank you for this!
I was just thinking about this subject the other day.
I used to be so fearless. So sure of myself.
I let him take that from me.
I'm slowly getting back to the place where I can at least maintain eye contact again, when I'm speaking with someone.
I really appreciate your videos. Thank you for taking the time to make them.
Malinda Cordell Thank you Malinda. Eye contact while talking to people is one of the most important aspects of healing, please keep doing it!
I feel like my relationship with a narc has affected me so deeply. I don't want to see my friends anymore, even though my whole life I have been quite an extrovert and I really do have some lovely friends. When you talked about that "push-pull" thing - My ex did that so much, I ended up feeling completely disoriented, worn-down
and just so very, very sad and confused. The mad thing is, he told me that is what his ex did to him. I don't believe a word of it. Very glad to be free from this relationship but just hoping at some point I will feel more like my old self again.
Sylvie Francoise Take the time you need to heal and use it learning about what happened and why. The information to heal is in my videos. Any questions, please ask. Thank you Sylvie.
it is such a sad disease, but dang it!.. I was on top of the world. .only to find out that it was all fake. I allowed him to hurt me so deeply!
jillndnb I know, it's a horrible feeling. Just learn how to not do it again and you will feel on top of the world again! Thank you for sharing.
It's so un-freaking-believable, they are all the same! Thanks so much for talking about this!!
hi David. omg right. everything you say exactly accurate. these crazy ass narcs. I can't stand them. your awesome David.
Venus Allegra Yerkovich Thank you Venus!
Thank you, David. Yes, you describe very well what i lived. And now im like i never existed. Its damn hard.
Thank you so much for your sharing and uploading. You are a wise man.
I live in the Netherlands, but I subscribed you because you are that good
in teaching me. And since a am a 40 yo male, it is so refreshing to see that
I am not the only one with a toxic ex in my life.
Feniks Phoenix Thank you so much, I appreciate you. You are definitely not alone. Please asked anything.
it's freaky how you do not know me but it's possible for you to describe my relationship
artist quality It's the same for most of us. I know exactly how you feel.
LoL you deliver some hard truths there then at the end said "so I hope this helps" was funny. It does help alot.
Hot Stuff Good, thank you.
I really wish I could have found these videos sooner. It might have save me from the humiliation. Smear campaign was brutal. Thank you for the advice. Angel R. Welch
Thank you so much for this video!! Thank you for standing of for those of us who have to deal with these people. Thank you! You have strengthend me!
Your videos really help me with the grieving process and understanding this person, it makes me want to throw up but at least now I have some sort of closure in a way... knowing they are too screwed up to ever change, to ever truly love or miss me, ugh
Lane Briggs That is great Lane, I hope you're also discovering why you dated one if these people so you don't do it again. Thank you!
excellent! closer to the truth of what they do and why!
GGator Country Thank you!
This is so dead on its freaky. My ex narc went as far as to make me believe that i had problems with my mother (which i never have) and that it was causing all our problems in the relationship. I actually went to therapy for it, realizing later that it was nothing at all to do with me. She persisted, and became extremely angry that i stopped going, even though while i was going, she was telling me it wasn't making any difference. She also projected on me how she always thought i was cheating, or talking to other women while she was doing it the entire time with her new victim.
Hi David thank you for your videos. They are definitely THE most informative and helpful I have seen since I have been researching this very real personality disorder. Covert Narcissism. After recently being discarded by a narcissist EVERYTHING that you talk about now makes perfect sense. I have suffered all the consequences of this narcissistic discard. I am much better than I was just after it first happened but still find myself wanting to confront him and tell him exactly what an asshole I think he is and that I now KNOW what he is and how he operates. He already "hates" me for absolutely no reason - actually because I began to 'unmask' him and he was 'offended'!!! I know that confrontation with him would make absolutely NO difference to who he actually is and what he does and would only give him back the power. So .... what I am asking I really have the answer in my mind - DO NOT try to confront him. Would you advise me against this. I am sure you would! Anyway thank you again. I am so enjoying watching your talks and they are helping me so much.
I just found out a week ago and this video helps me so much getting through this nightmare, watching it a couple times a day. Everything is on point. So glad everything finally makes sense. Thank you!
David in Ottawa, my ex-narc was constantly telling me, how I could never be wrong, that was her projecting her inability to be wrong onto me I am sure. it was silly how often she would say it, and I was like no I am wrong often. I was certainly wrong staying with her! LOL Good video, back in 2017 the tempo was very different from 2020, but still an informative video.
My GC brother will always give advice, all day and every day to anyone about anything. No matter where we are or what we are doing, he's an expert and will force himself into other people's conversations even. He knows everything there is to know about everything. It's so interesting that he's so knowledgeable yet can't get his shit together in the least.
Truly amazing how on point you are. Love your strengths.
you are a great soul david, thank you so much for the informative video.
Clear, concise and straight up information, great video! Thanks! :)
Oh yeah, they sure love to gaslight. Great video
I know these videos are old. But good lord I’m so glad I found them!
You're great David...
Greetings from Italy ☺
Yes I agree about texting and calling you and keeping you up all night. I had forgotten about that. It’s been 4 years no contact. At first it felt great to get all the attention but then you start getting that gut feeling that something isn’t right. And it continues to get worse. That combined with the doubt is the worst abuse to have to suffer through. I don’t let it happen to me anymore, either I fight back or I completely avoid.
Thank you this has helped me can see what he has been doing to me,just trying to get over all this right now I've hit rock bottom
X
Julie Swarbrick I'm sorry Julie bit most of us have to hit the bottom and then punch through it. I'm glad you're ok, and you are.
This is not you're fault so don't feel ashamed of anything. How you feel is normal. The information to heal from this is on this channel. Ask me anything.
Thank you for your comment.
Great Vid! Thanks. I'm a victim too
never being able to stay on one subject...that hits home, big time.
thx david , one more great video, you answered may be 90% of my questions in your videos, still wonder of one thing david, the end of those evil people how will be..!!
Mina Amina Sadly, there will always be Narcissists. Awareness and better environments for children is how we solve this.
Not "sharing" where they went or what they did is also lying. I fell into that . I'd ask what he did that weekend , he'd say. "Not much ". Meanwhile he went here and there and saw x y z. The truth always came out but I couldn't say anything because I found it on FB. He'd turn it around as to "why are you stalking me on FB" when really all I had to do was say where you went. My brain and heart were always racing and aching
He would change the subject, then pretend he didnt know what I was talking about, or give all the points except for the main point, not answer talk over me. He'd constantly make false allegations, then either not let me speak, or just suddenly silent, or walk out angry. But I've learned if something doesn't seem right trust yourself. No one has a right to uour table. You decide who earns the right to sit there.
This is sick really. when I was little, my mother took me to a relative where there was a dog and I was so scared that I started running away and that dog also started running after me, it was playing with me and I was scared I started crying.
This incident made a huge impact on me and my mother seemed like enjoyed it and it wasn't serious for her. I was also ashamed of being scared of dogs. She deliberately mentioned the incident publicly every time she got chance.
Vishal Upadhyay I'm sorry, that's bad. Hope you're doing good now.
Yes, I'm doing very well, way better than before and I'being more and more aware of these things and heading to my recovery slowly.
Thank you. I didn't realize it's all gaslighting. All of it. And just when you think you know them and something they manipulated you into believing, they will pull out the rug from under you, and leave you with no truth. It dismantles your entire sense of reality and what we think we know about them. How do we feel close to someone? By knowing them, through the things they share, the details you observe, and what they make you believe day in and day out about themselves. And some things you take at face value (because you're not born a detective and don't enter into the relationship initially as a detective..they craft that), as you would in a normal relationship. This is before you start having the doubts, and confusion and inner torment. This is when they get inside your psyche and cement an image of themselves inside you. Little do you know that even in the beginning, everything is gaslighting. That's why it drives you crazy. Because it's a process of making you believe something about them, and then disproving or denying the lies they sold you about themselves in the first place. So everything you 'know,' or think you know about them, is a lie. That leaves you spinning forever. Everything, down to the details of their likes and dislikes, which with a normal person builds the basis of you understanding their personality, all this mental going back and forth, leaves you feeling unstable and completely unsafe in your 'knowledge,' sense of judgement and grasp on reality. I guess there's no reality with them. It's like a play they live in. I still feel betrayed, because I didn't know who he Really was, and I feel cheated out of getting to know his true self..but I guess that's the tragedy, if there's no true self there. Thank you for reading and making perfect sense in your videos!
Stacey Love That's right, it starts the second you meet them and it can go on forever. They show us what we want to see. They sell us a dream. We chase that dream even when it turns to a nightmare.
We want that dream back so bad, some of us chase it forever, long after the discard. Years after we have lost our dream maker, we still have hope the dream will come true.
Some of us never wake up, sometimes it goes on forever.
Thank you Stacey, I'm sorry but it was just a dream you were chasing while living a nightmare.
I'm glad you have woken up.
Terra Tamblyn I so understand in my own way and through my own experience. I don't know how he got me to feel these things either. So much so that the memory of what I felt during that time, and the experience of what I went through emotionally, it was a sense of hope, belonging to him (in a good way) and belonging to something, a new beginning. It was all in my head I guess. He had his own plans/agenda that just weren't apparent to me yet. I don't know why he wanted to do this with me, to the point of involving my family in it and regularly saying he wants to spend time with them, but I guess I just crossed paths with a malignant person who took great pleasure in toying with and watching me suffer, to a dangerous, self-destructive level for me. He really was my enemy from how out-to-get-me he was, even if it wasn't personal and just "business as usual" for him, as I've heard it be said.
Not having closure is hard, and you know what I actually felt scared of yesterday? The thought that I'm starting to forget things having to do with him..like that it's fading in my mind, less clear, and becoming more of a distant memory, when I haven't emotionally made peace with it yet or worked through it all yet. I don't know why, but the realization of this scared me a little. Not that I want to keep remembering it, but that I'd be letting go of something foreign that was a huge part of me, but that I never totally grasped or got to the bottom of. I know they cannot give closure, but it's still hard to let go completely, because whatever this is had a huge piece of me and it still does in a lot of ways, which I don't want to fully acknowledge yet. And I just realized that taking it away leaves a void, I think David said this too..emotionally. So many layers to this..
Terra Tamblyn Terra, the more independent you become and the happier you make yourself, the less people can hurt you. Understand the importance and power boundaries have. Boundaries tells someone just how strong a person you are. It demands respect and makes toxic people give up quickly.
Terra Tamblyn If we fall in love with an abuser than our boundaries were not strong enough. You should strive to be a more improved self rather than your old self.
Terra Tamblyn I totally relate to the idea of really seeing how much this affected me when thinking about ever being vulnerable with someone else and imagining it. You won't stay there forever Terra. It will dissipate, just like the beginning parts and how the void of it disappeared for you. Hugs to you and yes, you can speak up if someone tries to cut you in line. Sometimes I think let me be quiet and not say anything, but even by body language or look, people will usually pick up on if they accidentally cut you in line or if it bothered you. I think we've all let other people go before us if they've been in a hurry or something at the store and also had people let us go before them , but it's about knowing like David said that you're just as important as anyone else and their needs don't come before yours :). I personally am tired of acting like other people's wants/needs/preferences and feelings are more important than mine.
I could never describe exactly how my spouse made me feel. I used to say, “you make me feel unique in a bad way, you make me feel less than, never enough”. Now that I know what he is what a lightbulb moment! Almost 6 months free.
He would do that...when he wants something he hounds you until you give in to shut him up.
Thank you David - your words are very clear!
jmsixfamily thank you!
This stuff is real and very paramount that people learn about these personas. It is more of a deficiency than anything. They cannot be empathetic, at all. Most people you run into are like this. Especially, in the United States.
I do not know who this gentleman is..but he is the best
Great video s! Thank you!
I may be taking on the narc traits. Easily agitated.. And not feeling very nice to b around. But listen to the things a narc tells you. If they call you stupid.. They might feel stupid. If they say you'd never find anyone to love u like them; chances are they won't find ANYONE that wants all of their nothing while you give them everything.
Carson Stout "all of their nothing" ...thats it.
Valerie Stout you’ll never find anyone like me. Heard that a million times 😂
Iv been looking at your uploads. I wish I did not need to though. I like the way you come across and explain things. I had no idea what MGTOW was awhile back and no idea what gas lighting was. Crazy that I used to be a logical as a Vulcan I was in the Army a Boxer and I was bought to my knees by a woman. I did not see it coming at all. I think being logical and trying to work things out that you do not understand is the worst thing and being empathetic also did not help me. I wish everyone was like the people I grow up with as it straight and honest. Iv got no time now for anyone that is not honest or does not talk straight. I can tell by your videos that you actually care about things that hurt people so massive respect to you ! I really can see that its mostly men now that have empathy etc where it used to be women had way more of that then men. What has happened to the sexes over the last 30 years as iv seen a massive change in gender change. Its like men have turned soft and women cold. I think more women cheat now then men were it used to be the other way around. It amazed me to find out from an upload of an expert that men mostly stay single after a brake up for a long time and yet woman replace you quick as if you were a pair of shoes. From what im learning from experts is a lot of women do not love men how men need to be loved. No longer team players no longer what can I bring to the relationship and its all about them. Sorry I went off on one then lol. Maybe its just me but on a lot of your videos it comes across like your reliving a bad experience when you say things.
It’s amazing to me how they ALL do these tactics. It’s like they all read a manual on how to drive your partner to insanity. Crazy how they’re all basically the same toxic, crazy making sadists
Great vid man. Spot on to what my narc did. They are all the same. Keep it up man because this stuff is so therapeutic for me and anyone else going through this. Right now im going through the hatred and rage stage. I hate her so much for what she did. Is this normal? I will forgive in time but they are demonic vampires.
Jeff Delima Thank you Jeff! Yes anger is normal and feel it! You don't have to ever forgive anyone either. Forget you will, but forgive never. Fuck them!
Jeff Delima I agree ☝️ these videos are awesome. I ❤ them and they help so so much
They wont let you bring up the past or mistakes they did. They will leave you then comeback again if they need you as if nothing happened. They cant talk about what they did and it will make you crazy.
that's so to the point about the timeline he blame me by saying that's the consequences I still don't know if he is a narcissist or not but he's definetly a manipulator
Great video David! Subscribed!!!!
Sweettart Good Stuff Thank you so much! Welcome to the channel and please ask me anything.
...This was very deep..
this is so true.
Excellent David! Very well delivered.
Awesome. The one I was recently with would disappear for 2 or 3 days, ignore my calls and text. Then tell me I'm possessive if I said it bothers me when you blow me off. The place she lived, I went from coming over and spending the night to I'm not allowed over at all because the landlord said so, she blamed the landlord. And not posting any pictures of us on Facebook together, or changing her status from single. Then she is with the new guy for 5 seconds and she's plastering pictures of the 2 of them on FB and how incredible there relationship is. And if I ask her flat out if she was cheating, she would say I'm crazy and jealous. Never, ever, ever admitted to anything. I can't believe I put up with this nonsense.
Dan Crifasi Never again!
Great video David TY . You are so on point 👍
I seen this movie on Turner classic movies it was a great movie,and I got the full understanding of gaslighting...I recommend everyone to watch it as well.
My ex husband of 25 years did a lot of gaslighting. I never actually believed he was telling the truth and making me feel crazy until he moved out, then I had a basic feeling of creepiness that I couldn't describe. I only know that nothing bad ever happened when he was not around. No gaslighting no nothing icky. But, I still felt like something wasn't quite right with me. I guess maybe that's the PTSD of narcissism. Now after years of being away from him, I still wonder if other people think I'm strange. They must wear themselves out trying to make someone else feel worn out
OMG I went through every single thing you brought up......that sick SOB I remember his favorite way to start a fight at the end of an almost fight free day, he would would ask me a question about something he never talked about then accuse me of not paying attention to him or not listening to him......then say, "you see, you don't listen to me, nobody does, you're no different" always grouping me with everybody else that doesn't live up to his standards....UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH I get so angry when I think about it, but then I wish I didn't get angry because it's like still giving him supply,,,,,,,,,this is so sad
Clariza Belfoure Just put it all on him as a complete idiotic piece of shit. It helps me!
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Yes, thank you for your reply....he truly is a piece of shit...I love your videos David....
I love this one, good stuff! Thank you!
Omg the no accountability.. “ I yelled bc you make me yell “ thank god im out of that
Omg reminds of that moment I woke up to his gaslighting. Like he messed so bad with the timeline of events and said I'm having a bad memory or imagining things.
I heard that gaslight, and I know he's doing to me all the time,,but why we're stir believe their lies..your right they make us doubts ourselves..although we knew they are narcist..they really really good manipulators...
Rita Cruz We believed them for so long it's hard to see reality. It's time away from them and learning that will help you see the truth.
Thank you
Great informative video again. I've always wondered if their close relatives see them for what they are. My ex would bad mouth me too his mum, aunt & a friend he worked with, forgetting of course each time to tell them what he did to me! 🙄 Why don't they see through his lies if they are family & close to him? Or do they see it, and keep their thoughts to themselves so that their family "look good" on the outside. ??
This is so on point. Great insights
My brothers has 3 kids each. I have 3 siblings. I want 3 kids most. I made this obvious to her. She would always say at random moments how I told her I didnt want kids. I said, how would I not want kids if I love my nieces and nephew to death? And then I told her, listen, even if I did say that, which i didnt, i am telling you right now and you better not say anything about this. I WANT KIDS! These are sick individuals honestly. When I was with her I gained weight, lost all confidence, lost my out going side, lost the ability to have conversations with people, started balding, second guessing myself, started smoking a lot of weed, and have this negative energy. Evil sick sadistic people. Not with her I am finishing my associates, got a better job, losing weight, stopped smoking weed altogether, and getting my old self back. I enjoy the little moments of pure happiness. Even if it last for a few moments, it's a great feeling to experience again. Things didn't get better guys. I also had to deal with CPTSD. It's an up hill battle but trust me guys and gals, you can do it and you will become a better person. You'll learn to love yourself and be self sufficient. And you also reevaluate your friends and see what you've been letting slide.
Love you man 💘
How many Narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?....None they use gaslighting!
LOL. SENSE OF HUMOR POPPING THROUGH.