OP's mistake was allowing his abusive mother back into his life at all. She's always going to be an abusive and manipulative person and she's always going to bring drama and chaos into her relationships eventually. I hope he manages to distance himself from her completely. He and his family deserve to live in peace.
If someone had gotten wind of how OP's mother treated him, they would contact social services to remove him from her, place him in foster care, and with a loving adoptive family in California or Oregon; in fact, OP should've been taken away from his mother, and placed with foster/adoptive parents in California or Oregon, and he would've had a good life.
I stopped listening when OP said that he let his mother contact his kids. After what she put him through, anything less than complete No Contact is spinelessness.
@Sg190th yes but if he had not allowed her to form a relationship with his kids she'd have less of a leg to stand on for grandparents rights. If there is no existing relationship, from what i understand, then it's much more difficult for someone to argue to have them
@Sg190th nah you're ok, like the post said not many states even have it as a thing so not many people are gonna know how it works. I've just heard it in reddit stories so often I just kinda remembered it haha
“My mom tried to run someone over with a car, was abusive and kicked me out when I was 16, which put me in a situation where an older gay man preyed on me. Hey, why are all of these comments blaming me for bringing her around my family?! I have some choice words for you guys!”
Seriously....what did OP think was going to happen?? I don't like to victim blame but damn dude you've got kids to think about! Those "good decision-making skills" were not being used at all.
This young lady is sooooo blessed to have OP #3. He’s an amazing guy! My dad did the same thing. His first got pregnant by another as well, but he never treated her any differently. I didn’t even find out that she wasn’t my biological sister until I was in high school. My mom was also living and welcoming to ALL my dad’s children. I am so proud to have a man with so much love to give as my dad! This is no laughing matter, but damnit….the casual “I guess you feel how you feel. 😐” took me out! 😂
My grandmother was the mistress’ child. My great grandfather had a mistress who, due to unknown circumstances, died (family gossip says she was sick) and so great grandfather brought my grandma as a baby back home, telling his wife, my great grandmother, that the girl had no family and if she could stay with them. Now, any person i know would most likely say “F no and get out of my house”, but my (truly great) great grandma did not see any of the offenses made against her by my great grandfather and his mistress as something concerning the child. She took her in and told the entire family she was hers. Mind you, she already had 4 children, so its not like she felt she needed a child, she just felt like the child needed a family. She went as far as to tell the entire family and friends of the family that the child was hers, she was its mother, the child has a mother, a father and siblings, and if anyone even mentioned the word “bastard” or “illegitimate” they will have to deal with the consequences she will enact on them and her other children agreed with her and protected grandma from any badmouthing from other kids. After one generation noone remembered the story of how my grandmother came to the family, for all everyone knew, she was great grandma’s legitimate daughter. Even my own dad and his siblings didn’t know about it, as my grandmother died when he was quite young and honestly i don’t even know how much she knew of the story or would have told, but then about two years ago, a sister of my grandmother finally opened up and told us that story. I don’t care what people think. A child is a child, and as long as you feel like you can handle it, there is no reason to let shame and societal expectations stop you from taking care of a child. If my great grandmother hadn’t contained her anger to her husband only (and as the story goes, she was furious and he paid his price lol) and had pushed the blame on the little girl, pushing her out, sending her to the streets or orphanage, my family wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have gotten her strong spirit and warm, big eyes. Funny or tragic part is that the story repeated in the family, but with the opposite outcome and much hostility from siblings (not mine, mine actually looked for the secret family member and made contact even visiting them). I know my grandma would have been sad about it, but at least one side of the family carried my great grandmas spirit, even if we are not truly blood related, we are related in soul.
As someone who has a cat named Lily. I am not surprised that the sister named Lily is a pain in the butt. Well accept I actually like t when my cat is annoying, love the fluff ball
Story 1: WHY, would OP allow that monster of a mom back into his life after this? Why didn’t he go to the police or CPS after being kicked out at 16!? I’m sorry but if he has a middle name, it would be “Welcome”.
Cps is a hit and miss especially if she forces him to remain silent, also not many kids know cps. Also it’s an abuse kinda thing where most feel like if they let them in then maybe they’ll change and finally understand what they did wrong
Story 2: she thinks Op is "overstepping" she's the one literally hired her friend to test if her Bf is loyal, and he's still treated like he's done something wrong.
I feel for op3. My dads father stopped talking to him for raising me (the result of an affair) im grateful every day that he chose to love and raise me like his own kid. My life would have been shit otherwise!
Is it alright if I ask you a possibility sensitive question? Feel free to not answer I am just curious But how is your relationship with your mother? Did you know about the affair from a young age about who your bio dad is, or was it one of thoes you got sat down when you were old enough and told the truth? Sorry that your grandfather was so distant it's not right that you were the victim of your mother's actions
@dogguy8603 hey it's all good. I'm fine with my mom. We aren't the closest but there's no animosity . Since I was 3 I lived with my dad and he didn't tell me I wasn't his biological daughter til I was 16 but I knew from about the age of 7 bc I am mixed and my parents were both white. I actually told my step-mom when I was 7 not to tell my dad bc I didn't want to upset him but I think my mom cheated on him with a black guy 😅. He knew since the day I was born I wasn't his but I think he was scared to tell me in case I would I love him less or something but he is my dad and he's the best dad I could ask for! I actually met my bio dad when I was 23 and we have an ok relationship as well.
@@tracisr that's nice to hear! Glad you were able to have a good relationship with your dad after all that, he sounds like a good man. I hope for the best for you and your family!
@@tracisr thanks! And really thank you for your answers, sorta helps in my own quest, family drama situation, no affairs but let's say my paternal grandmother abandoned my dad and eventually had another family a few states away, and I'm wondering if I should reach out with my dad, my grandmother died years ago, I never met her, but I am curious about my half relatives
@@miqueiasqueiroz8796 How is it simping? He doesn't like his mess of an ex at all. He's just rescuing a helpless baby from a nightmarish life because the woman who birthed it was, as OP realised too late, a completely insane POS (and so is the baby's lying and cheating father). Kid's technically an orphan, and bears none of her parents' guilt. He is more of a man for raising her than the bio dad can ever hope to be.
2 I kind of get it why they don't see her as family because she is an affair baby and you took care of this child who's not yours and the biological father is not even helping and I kind of get it you know because they might think it's unfair how your paying and taking care of this child who is an affair baby and you're like spending money taking care and stuff like that but I also really really feel bad for the child because she has no biological family members or anyone and nobody really sees her as family except for your kids and you and your wife and she might think she's an outsider :(
Story 3, nobody is in the wrong. OP Got his feelings hurt by what his dad said which is fine. OPs dad is allowed to say that as its not exactly false... The father also has the right to divide his assests to whoever he chooses as they are *HIS* assests so if the father didn't want to leave anything to the affair kid he is allowed too and the affair kid and OP have 0 say in the matter. They aren't entitled to his assets.
Story 3: legally, he's in his rights. But i want to point out his dad, despite his generosity towards not only family but friends as well, has some obvious blind spots. It just seems...arbitrary. That's my big issue with this.
@@legiontepes3474 yes, but neither want to lose contact with another so a common ground needs to be met, thats how relations works or you do as only you want and end up alone
He's kind and polite to her and he gets her gifts like the other grandchildren. OPO's grandfather has the right to leave his money to who he wants. He may accept his grandchild but he's never going to forget how OP's first wife tried to pull one over on his son. Keeping the grandfather from all of his grandkids, including the one not his, will only hurt them.
@@dementedqueen4392 op adopted a child and expected her to be treated as his child. He wasn't a horrible person, but he was ensuring her breakdown by establishing a bond with her and leaving her with nothing of sentimental value. That would sting. So get them all away from him. But it's not necessary after the update.
@@dementedqueen4392You keep going on about his rights but the discussion isn't about his rights. It's about his wrongs. And punishing that girl for who her birth givers were is wrong.
@@MacerXGP Before the update I was thinking the grandpa was worried that either bio parent could come and take the child at any time, especially if there is an inheritance but after the update, all was well. And the money being left wasn't;t really that much anyway. OP and his father just needed to talk and it was taken care of. The only real villains I see here are the bio mother and father. And seriously? I kept going on about his rights? I said it ONCE and left it at that. I'm not arguing anything here and I wrote that quote before the update.
OP's mistake was allowing his abusive mother back into his life at all. She's always going to be an abusive and manipulative person and she's always going to bring drama and chaos into her relationships eventually. I hope he manages to distance himself from her completely. He and his family deserve to live in peace.
That was pretty dumb of him. She kicked him out of the house. Why even allow such a person back into your life?
OP is a doormat.
Honestly op is better than me .
It's part of how ppl who are abused thinks, if I do this, they will be happy and be nice to me.
If someone had gotten wind of how OP's mother treated him, they would contact social services to remove him from her, place him in foster care, and with a loving adoptive family in California or Oregon; in fact, OP should've been taken away from his mother, and placed with foster/adoptive parents in California or Oregon, and he would've had a good life.
I stopped listening when OP said that he let his mother contact his kids. After what she put him through, anything less than complete No Contact is spinelessness.
Loyalty tests are the stupidest thing you could do, it just shows you have 0 trust in your partner.
You’d be surprised how many people enter the legal field as a result of chronic trauma.
Story1: op is a damn moron for letting his mother back in his life.
She would have waltz in regardless in some way.
@Sg190th yes but if he had not allowed her to form a relationship with his kids she'd have less of a leg to stand on for grandparents rights. If there is no existing relationship, from what i understand, then it's much more difficult for someone to argue to have them
@@StonedHunter oh true true my bad
@Sg190th nah you're ok, like the post said not many states even have it as a thing so not many people are gonna know how it works. I've just heard it in reddit stories so often I just kinda remembered it haha
Yep
“My mom tried to run someone over with a car, was abusive and kicked me out when I was 16, which put me in a situation where an older gay man preyed on me. Hey, why are all of these comments blaming me for bringing her around my family?! I have some choice words for you guys!”
Seriously....what did OP think was going to happen?? I don't like to victim blame but damn dude you've got kids to think about! Those "good decision-making skills" were not being used at all.
🍼🤫
This young lady is sooooo blessed to have OP #3. He’s an amazing guy! My dad did the same thing. His first got pregnant by another as well, but he never treated her any differently. I didn’t even find out that she wasn’t my biological sister until I was in high school. My mom was also living and welcoming to ALL my dad’s children. I am so proud to have a man with so much love to give as my dad! This is no laughing matter, but damnit….the casual “I guess you feel how you feel. 😐” took me out! 😂
The last one ended really nice! My eyes got watery.
My grandmother was the mistress’ child. My great grandfather had a mistress who, due to unknown circumstances, died (family gossip says she was sick) and so great grandfather brought my grandma as a baby back home, telling his wife, my great grandmother, that the girl had no family and if she could stay with them.
Now, any person i know would most likely say “F no and get out of my house”, but my (truly great) great grandma did not see any of the offenses made against her by my great grandfather and his mistress as something concerning the child. She took her in and told the entire family she was hers. Mind you, she already had 4 children, so its not like she felt she needed a child, she just felt like the child needed a family. She went as far as to tell the entire family and friends of the family that the child was hers, she was its mother, the child has a mother, a father and siblings, and if anyone even mentioned the word “bastard” or “illegitimate” they will have to deal with the consequences she will enact on them and her other children agreed with her and protected grandma from any badmouthing from other kids.
After one generation noone remembered the story of how my grandmother came to the family, for all everyone knew, she was great grandma’s legitimate daughter. Even my own dad and his siblings didn’t know about it, as my grandmother died when he was quite young and honestly i don’t even know how much she knew of the story or would have told, but then about two years ago, a sister of my grandmother finally opened up and told us that story.
I don’t care what people think. A child is a child, and as long as you feel like you can handle it, there is no reason to let shame and societal expectations stop you from taking care of a child. If my great grandmother hadn’t contained her anger to her husband only (and as the story goes, she was furious and he paid his price lol) and had pushed the blame on the little girl, pushing her out, sending her to the streets or orphanage, my family wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t have gotten her strong spirit and warm, big eyes.
Funny or tragic part is that the story repeated in the family, but with the opposite outcome and much hostility from siblings (not mine, mine actually looked for the secret family member and made contact even visiting them). I know my grandma would have been sad about it, but at least one side of the family carried my great grandmas spirit, even if we are not truly blood related, we are related in soul.
Last story, my second husband wanted me to leave everything to our daughter. He's now an ex and both my kids get their share.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
As someone who has a cat named Lily. I am not surprised that the sister named Lily is a pain in the butt. Well accept I actually like t when my cat is annoying, love the fluff ball
3rd story: Amazing family. Wish all kids had parents to and grandparents like this
I honestly love seeing the minecraft b-roll as he gradually develops the place over time.
Story 1: WHY, would OP allow that monster of a mom back into his life after this? Why didn’t he go to the police or CPS after being kicked out at 16!? I’m sorry but if he has a middle name, it would be “Welcome”.
Cps is a hit and miss especially if she forces him to remain silent, also not many kids know cps. Also it’s an abuse kinda thing where most feel like if they let them in then maybe they’ll change and finally understand what they did wrong
@@Maestrosendgame ok fair enough
You can always tell when someone never had their ass kicked
S1: This guy sounds smart, but he lacks a spine.
Story 2 you can not un ring a bell.
Story 2: she thinks Op is "overstepping" she's the one literally hired her friend to test if her Bf is loyal, and he's still treated like he's done something wrong.
I feel for op3. My dads father stopped talking to him for raising me (the result of an affair) im grateful every day that he chose to love and raise me like his own kid. My life would have been shit otherwise!
Is it alright if I ask you a possibility sensitive question? Feel free to not answer I am just curious
But how is your relationship with your mother? Did you know about the affair from a young age about who your bio dad is, or was it one of thoes you got sat down when you were old enough and told the truth? Sorry that your grandfather was so distant it's not right that you were the victim of your mother's actions
@dogguy8603 hey it's all good. I'm fine with my mom. We aren't the closest but there's no animosity . Since I was 3 I lived with my dad and he didn't tell me I wasn't his biological daughter til I was 16 but I knew from about the age of 7 bc I am mixed and my parents were both white. I actually told my step-mom when I was 7 not to tell my dad bc I didn't want to upset him but I think my mom cheated on him with a black guy 😅. He knew since the day I was born I wasn't his but I think he was scared to tell me in case I would I love him less or something but he is my dad and he's the best dad I could ask for! I actually met my bio dad when I was 23 and we have an ok relationship as well.
@@tracisr that's nice to hear! Glad you were able to have a good relationship with your dad after all that, he sounds like a good man. I hope for the best for you and your family!
@dogguy8603 thank you!!! My best wishes to you as well!
@@tracisr thanks! And really thank you for your answers, sorta helps in my own quest, family drama situation, no affairs but let's say my paternal grandmother abandoned my dad and eventually had another family a few states away, and I'm wondering if I should reach out with my dad, my grandmother died years ago, I never met her, but I am curious about my half relatives
Op in story 3 is a better man then me because i couldn't see myself raising another man kid my ego and pride wouldn't let me
Yeah, simping too much.
@@miqueiasqueiroz8796 How is it simping? He doesn't like his mess of an ex at all. He's just rescuing a helpless baby from a nightmarish life because the woman who birthed it was, as OP realised too late, a completely insane POS (and so is the baby's lying and cheating father). Kid's technically an orphan, and bears none of her parents' guilt. He is more of a man for raising her than the bio dad can ever hope to be.
Agreed. Its just having a single shred of self respect
You're right, he's a better man than you.
It was the affair and lies that are wrong, not taking care of the innocent kid in the middle.
@@taetannim3581
U thought u was cooking with that comment lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Nta, she is responsible for her own actions
2 I kind of get it why they don't see her as family because she is an affair baby and you took care of this child who's not yours and the biological father is not even helping and I kind of get it you know because they might think it's unfair how your paying and taking care of this child who is an affair baby and you're like spending money taking care and stuff like that but I also really really feel bad for the child because she has no biological family members or anyone and nobody really sees her as family except for your kids and you and your wife and she might think she's an outsider :(
Story 3, nobody is in the wrong.
OP Got his feelings hurt by what his dad said which is fine.
OPs dad is allowed to say that as its not exactly false...
The father also has the right to divide his assests to whoever he chooses as they are *HIS* assests so if the father didn't want to leave anything to the affair kid he is allowed too and the affair kid and OP have 0 say in the matter.
They aren't entitled to his assets.
Story 3: legally, he's in his rights.
But i want to point out his dad, despite his generosity towards not only family but friends as well, has some obvious blind spots.
It just seems...arbitrary. That's my big issue with this.
Op3 is stupid as hell.
Why? If you find out your parents are treating your kid different than the rest of their grandkids you handle that shit.
Story number two is definitely the Ahole… Why would you out your own sister whether you agreed or disagreed you’re not loyal!
Story 3: yta. The grandfather is entitled to do with his money what he wants.
ITS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT THE MONEY. it would be devestating for the daughter to lose someone she loves only to be excluded and left to question everyone
and op is entitled to not have a relation with him at all, whats your point
@@REYCER0 never said diff. They are both free to do what they want.
Doesn't mean he's not an asshole for doing it. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
@@legiontepes3474 yes, but neither want to lose contact with another so a common ground needs to be met, thats how relations works or you do as only you want and end up alone
Story 3: If gramps doesn't see your daughter as his real granddaughter, tell him he no longer has any access to his other grandchildren.
He's kind and polite to her and he gets her gifts like the other grandchildren. OPO's grandfather has the right to leave his money to who he wants. He may accept his grandchild but he's never going to forget how OP's first wife tried to pull one over on his son. Keeping the grandfather from all of his grandkids, including the one not his, will only hurt them.
U act like he was mistreating her
@@dementedqueen4392 op adopted a child and expected her to be treated as his child. He wasn't a horrible person, but he was ensuring her breakdown by establishing a bond with her and leaving her with nothing of sentimental value. That would sting. So get them all away from him. But it's not necessary after the update.
@@dementedqueen4392You keep going on about his rights but the discussion isn't about his rights. It's about his wrongs. And punishing that girl for who her birth givers were is wrong.
@@MacerXGP Before the update I was thinking the grandpa was worried that either bio parent could come and take the child at any time, especially if there is an inheritance but after the update, all was well. And the money being left wasn't;t really that much anyway. OP and his father just needed to talk and it was taken care of. The only real villains I see here are the bio mother and father. And seriously? I kept going on about his rights? I said it ONCE and left it at that. I'm not arguing anything here and I wrote that quote before the update.
Day 193 of commenting to help secretvoices