When Penn mentioned we're addicted to anger that made me think. People get made when they are hurt because they do t want to cry. Sometimes being angry is easier. It feels less vulnerable. It also makes you feel powerful. Great point.
The first thing that came to mind as I was listening to this discussion is that we have forgotten who we truly are. And if we don't really know who we are, how can we possibly know who "the other" is? When we realize that we are the Creator, falling in love with His creation every day through our eyes. Then, when we seek our true selves in the eyes of "the other" we might realize that we truly are "even as one soul, walk with the same feet, eat with the same mouth and dwell in the same land..." I LOVE these episodes!!!
I know Penn's sister, but that's another story. The first season of YOU wrecked me as a single hoping to find love one day. I was like, fuck me--I'll never know WHOM I am falling in to love with...she could be completely psychopathic and I wouldn't be able to tell. Seriously, that season cracked my brain.
I believe that "trying" to define what is love, is what is a mistake, cause love is a capacity that all we have in ourselves and all we love ( beyond if we are or not in a relationship). who we choose to be in a relation with? Sometimes not because we love that person that deep ( even if we think so and we are pretty able to list number of reasons why is real love) but because its that person who provides the lesson that we need to learn to love ourselves... I believe that maybe Pam and Jim they werent mature enough in their lives to be able to be together and Dwight and Angela even without being in other relations they also werent prepared to be together and they werent untill the last episodes ... different paths❤? Maybe! but Love was always present... love is Love... you cant really judge what is or what is not! "you are just very confuse living this life with your own personal, dealing with others and learnig to thrive in life in gral to have an authentic love relation with other ( in the same situation as you) and also you have another conflict in your head: " the idealizated image of what love should look and be, and what a perfect relation should evolve or behave, ( each personal relation between humans is perfect as it is and not need for being a couple as a standar cause there are many couples and doesnt mean that they really love each other just for the fact that they keep together ) ... in my humility opinión 😊😅❤
This “wounded good guy” trope that was thrown around is questionable. Wounded can mean mental health issues - substance use disorder, PTSD, OCD, etc. Meaning there is true suffering. Women don’t have to stay with these types of men but let’s not put them in some contrived category. This statement came from the therapist in the trio- that’s not every empathy-centered care.
i always thought Dwight and Angela had it way better than Jim and Pam…except for the cheating on Andy bit. also please let the woman speak jesus yall keep interrupting her
Respectfully to the therapist, saying "men are trash" is not "swinging the pendulum in the other direction". Women don't even have the power to do that. That is absurdly dismissive. Most men right now are supporting a candidate who is a rapist that eliminated a woman's right to choose. Most women have been sexually harassed or abused by men. The femicide rate is growing. You're comparing the response to those things (being mean to men on the internet) to the symptom. That is highly dangerous.
It bothers me so much that someone who teaches social science, who's a therapist keeps talking about races. It's ignorant, it furthers racism. Let me put it this way: when doctors learn physiology they don't have separate books. They learn anatomy from one book to help all the humans that come for their help. Races is another way to other. It's unfortunate that a teacher that so invested in meaningful relationships uses that term. And infuriating. And ignorant.
I totally hear you. Race is a social construct, but the concept of race and the reality of racism does need to be addressed. Trying to break that down in the middle of a conversation that isn’t specifically about that isn’t easy. I appreciate your feedback.
women making "men are trash" jokes are not an opportunity for men to victimize themselves and blame women for the masculinity issues that men are enforcing... to say that women using specific verbiage (KAM, men are trash, etc.) is impeding progress is just invalidating every experience and oppression that brought those movements about. We are not your mommies.
Why is it always women’s responsibility to listen? We already know how men feel. They’ve had the mic for thousands of years so I feel like women are just discussing what men do, their actions, they’re not necessarily degrading men. They’re expressing anger as a collective. And god knows how many times we’ve had to be witnesses to men’s anger. You might not agree with the way women are expressing themselves, sure. But their anger is understandable. And if men are so sick of women assuming that they’re trash then do something about it. But men won’t because the men in close proximity them or a complete stranger that is abusive/violent benefit from bad men’s behavior because then they can say “oh at least I’m not like that guy”. In movies/tv you always see men rushing to help women and children but in reality that is simply not the case. So tell me again why women should be responsible for men feelings? The reaction women are having towards men’s behavior is also found when I woman can no longer stand being a bad relationship. We stop caring when we realize men would rather die than go seek professional help. We somehow get blamed for not communicating and hearing them out. Like we’ve been doing that! And you want women to have more sympathy for men on top off all that? Sorry but no. I don’t believe in dishonest harmony. You’re going to have to ride through this storm gentlemen like women have done for you for centuries.
I generally agree with you but I know for myself I want to start letting some anger go because after some time, it isn’t serving me and men don’t care if I’m angry or not, it’s not helping us even if it’s totally justified, you need to feel your feelings and not suppress them of course, but I’m ready to focus on decentering men more then arguing with them. It just doesn’t seem productive enough to be worth my energy
@@rosiedispensa6697 your experience with anger is anecdotal. Just because you’re ready doesn’t mean other women are ready to let their anger go. In fact some women’s anger is just starting and have never allowed themselves to display anger before. And if you don’t have any energy for that that’s fine by all means rest. I’m a cheerleader for people resting and listening to your body. But some of us do have that energy and we’re fully charged. Also I’m not going to deny my real emotions for the sake of perceived “progress”. Like I said in my original comment I don’t believe in dishonest harmony. Women have always been expected to be forgiving and we have the right to not forgive. To me, forgiveness is a scam.
She said that women saying "men are trash" is "swinging the pendulum in the other direction". She compared complaining about men on the internet to the REASONS that women complain about men on the internet. We don't even have the power to swing any pendulums. It was insane. I was disappointed by a lot of this discussion. Kumbayah nonsense
When Penn mentioned we're addicted to anger that made me think. People get made when they are hurt because they do t want to cry. Sometimes being angry is easier. It feels less vulnerable. It also makes you feel powerful. Great point.
WOOOHOOOO that's my teacher!! 😊 great job!!!! That was a very cool and interesting episode.
Oh that's cool 😎
This episode really spoke to where I am at in my life and relationships. Thank you Rainn and guests. 🙏🏻💛✨🦋🌙✨
So glad you connected to it like this 🙏
The first thing that came to mind as I was listening to this discussion is that we have forgotten who we truly are. And if we don't really know who we are, how can we possibly know who "the other" is? When we realize that we are the Creator, falling in love with His creation every day through our eyes. Then, when we seek our true selves in the eyes of "the other" we might realize that we truly are "even as one soul, walk with the same feet, eat with the same mouth and dwell in the same land..."
I LOVE these episodes!!!
"You" One of my favorite shows & characters. This'll be gooood.
This was an amazing episode and I felt like a learned a lot when it comes to having an expansive mind. Super freaking helpful 🙏
The clip on Belittling brought me here headfirst 😅 So emotionally insightful
So glad to have you here 🙏🦄
I know Penn's sister, but that's another story.
The first season of YOU wrecked me as a single hoping to find love one day. I was like, fuck me--I'll never know WHOM I am falling in to love with...she could be completely psychopathic and I wouldn't be able to tell. Seriously, that season cracked my brain.
I believe that "trying" to define what is love, is what is a mistake, cause love is a capacity that all we have in ourselves and all we love ( beyond if we are or not in a relationship). who we choose to be in a relation with? Sometimes not because we love that person that deep ( even if we think so and we are pretty able to list number of reasons why is real love) but because its that person who provides the lesson that we need to learn to love ourselves... I believe that maybe Pam and Jim they werent mature enough in their lives to be able to be together and Dwight and Angela even without being in other relations they also werent prepared to be together and they werent untill the last episodes ... different paths❤? Maybe! but Love was always present... love is Love... you cant really judge what is or what is not! "you are just very confuse living this life with your own personal, dealing with others and learnig to thrive in life in gral to have an authentic love relation with other ( in the same situation as you) and also you have another conflict in your head: " the idealizated image of what love should look and be, and what a perfect relation should evolve or behave, ( each personal relation between humans is perfect as it is and not need for being a couple as a standar cause there are many couples and doesnt mean that they really love each other just for the fact that they keep together ) ... in my humility opinión 😊😅❤
It's great!
This “wounded good guy” trope that was thrown around is questionable. Wounded can mean mental health issues - substance use disorder, PTSD, OCD, etc. Meaning there is true suffering. Women don’t have to stay with these types of men but let’s not put them in some contrived category. This statement came from the therapist in the trio- that’s not every empathy-centered care.
And it discounts how much programming has gone into making women feel like they have to take care of everyone etc
i feel like you didn't listen to the whole episode
25:20
You're right. I'm beyond sick of this "Men are trash" movement.
i always thought Dwight and Angela had it way better than Jim and Pam…except for the cheating on Andy bit. also please let the woman speak jesus yall keep interrupting her
instead of just polling women on their complaints, and deciding men are bad, try objectivity.
For an episode about "Can we talk" they sure talked over Dr Nura constantly
Respectfully to the therapist, saying "men are trash" is not "swinging the pendulum in the other direction". Women don't even have the power to do that. That is absurdly dismissive. Most men right now are supporting a candidate who is a rapist that eliminated a woman's right to choose. Most women have been sexually harassed or abused by men. The femicide rate is growing.
You're comparing the response to those things (being mean to men on the internet) to the symptom. That is highly dangerous.
It bothers me so much that someone who teaches social science, who's a therapist keeps talking about races. It's ignorant, it furthers racism. Let me put it this way: when doctors learn physiology they don't have separate books. They learn anatomy from one book to help all the humans that come for their help. Races is another way to other. It's unfortunate that a teacher that so invested in meaningful relationships uses that term. And infuriating. And ignorant.
I totally hear you. Race is a social construct, but the concept of race and the reality of racism does need to be addressed. Trying to break that down in the middle of a conversation that isn’t specifically about that isn’t easy. I appreciate your feedback.
@@dr.nuramowzoon3568 oh! You heard it! Thank you for at least acknowledging it!
women making "men are trash" jokes are not an opportunity for men to victimize themselves and blame women for the masculinity issues that men are enforcing... to say that women using specific verbiage (KAM, men are trash, etc.) is impeding progress is just invalidating every experience and oppression that brought those movements about. We are not your mommies.
Why is it always women’s responsibility to listen? We already know how men feel. They’ve had the mic for thousands of years so I feel like women are just discussing what men do, their actions, they’re not necessarily degrading men. They’re expressing anger as a collective. And god knows how many times we’ve had to be witnesses to men’s anger. You might not agree with the way women are expressing themselves, sure. But their anger is understandable. And if men are so sick of women assuming that they’re trash then do something about it. But men won’t because the men in close proximity them or a complete stranger that is abusive/violent benefit from bad men’s behavior because then they can say “oh at least I’m not like that guy”. In movies/tv you always see men rushing to help women and children but in reality that is simply not the case. So tell me again why women should be responsible for men feelings? The reaction women are having towards men’s behavior is also found when I woman can no longer stand being a bad relationship. We stop caring when we realize men would rather die than go seek professional help. We somehow get blamed for not communicating and hearing them out. Like we’ve been doing that! And you want women to have more sympathy for men on top off all that? Sorry but no. I don’t believe in dishonest harmony. You’re going to have to ride through this storm gentlemen like women have done for you for centuries.
1000% agree. I felt the same way while listening to that entire part
I generally agree with you but I know for myself I want to start letting some anger go because after some time, it isn’t serving me and men don’t care if I’m angry or not, it’s not helping us even if it’s totally justified, you need to feel your feelings and not suppress them of course, but I’m ready to focus on decentering men more then arguing with them. It just doesn’t seem productive enough to be worth my energy
@@rosiedispensa6697 your experience with anger is anecdotal. Just because you’re ready doesn’t mean other women are ready to let their anger go. In fact some women’s anger is just starting and have never allowed themselves to display anger before. And if you don’t have any energy for that that’s fine by all means rest. I’m a cheerleader for people resting and listening to your body. But some of us do have that energy and we’re fully charged. Also I’m not going to deny my real emotions for the sake of perceived “progress”. Like I said in my original comment I don’t believe in dishonest harmony. Women have always been expected to be forgiving and we have the right to not forgive. To me, forgiveness is a scam.
She said that women saying "men are trash" is "swinging the pendulum in the other direction". She compared complaining about men on the internet to the REASONS that women complain about men on the internet. We don't even have the power to swing any pendulums. It was insane.
I was disappointed by a lot of this discussion. Kumbayah nonsense
@@rosiedispensa6697 that's you. We are talking about women as a collective.