@Bvrney Colemvn Same here bro, same here. I'm at day 3 of us breaking up. Gonna level up thr rest of this year and see what happens. We had a good breakup, and it was still initiated by her
@@sirninjaraiden There is no good or bad breakup, bro. Work on yourself, get paid with good standing jobs, hit the gym, pursue your hobbies. You will look back one day and thank her for leaving you. Don't dwell on the hope of getting back together. Stay strong, and believe in the you of the present, not the us in the future.
@luanphan2706 I don't anymore, man. I found out something nefarious a month after she broke it off. She had another dude lined up. So you're right, it wasn't good
The only reason to try this: You are reasonably sure she's still interested or somewhat in love with you. But going all in with a woman that simply brushed you out of her life is demining and humiliating.
Guys I’m trying to better myself and build my trust back and become happy with myself to get this girl back after we’ve been together for nearly a year and a half and I will admit I have made some mistakes we’re all human and everyone does it but I need to become happy with myself and gain my confidence back to get her back I think because I think she still wants me back I’m hopefully fixing to start a new job and I’m hoping that changes my attitude and the way I act I just need some advice on how to become happy with myself and build my trust back
Yea how you get her back guys, The answer is: You don’t. Live your life and you will find someone better , why would you want someone who thought you werent enough. You should be higher value than that guys.. step up the mindset
To provide some perspective. Imagine you were unpopular growing up, girls have always rejected you, every girl you wanted ended up dating some douchebag. Then you meet "the one" a girl that´s a 10/10 for you and she shows you affection and love. So you fall in love with her, thinking she will bring you happiness and this is the turning point to you. Then she goes completely cold and moves on. I know intellectually she´s not good for me but emotionally it f*** with me. I´m much better off than when it first happened but I can´t turn off the emotions like a tap. But if anybody reads this and needs some advice: Thinking about something gives it energy, the more you replay thoughts and memories the more entrenched it becomes in your psyche. Some people are naturally more prone to overthinking so I think that plays a part as well.
@@buzzbuzzard3809 Your mindset is not there yet. You have the feeling that you are lucky to have this girl, if you have this feeling you’ll lose her as happened to you. You also say that you thought she would bring you happiness, does this mean you were not really happy and thought she would make you happy? Cause if it does than thats also a very bad thing. You should not be searching for your happiness in a woman you have to be happy without one. You need to focus on your purpose en become more valueble so you wont be desperate for women. Being happy without anyone and focussing on yourself also attracts women and makes them not want to leave you. Sorry btw if I make mistakes in my sentences, english isnt my first language
@@ziagno4420 nah ur good man, I realized some of these things but it´s good to hear again from a neutral person. Thanks for the message man. I will keep working on that for sure. Best of luck to you.
The first step in "getting someone back" is often realizing it's just not worth it. Sometimes it might be, but rarely is it ever. It didn't workout for a reason. Realize why, learn from that, and find someone better or better for you.
@@CanucksxDream It often rarely is worth trying to get back with someone, especially in that case. The only time I can maybe see it is if you really messed up and it's entirely on you and you're confident you've fixed whatever your "defect" is and you really like the other person.
@@CJ2345ish Even then, they will always see that "defect" and not fully trust you. To me, its best to fix it and move on with someone new who won't be holding your past against you.
its easier to hook up with an ex than to find a new one u can get sex with...... this is why men try and rekindle im guessing women do it for sorta same reason but the dont want to add to their body count
@@zeedexo We all understand. Almost everyone has experienced unrequited love/broken heart before they get out of high school. Learning to let go and move on should be taught as required class for Freshmen.
Sometimes people just need to experience life. You could be meant to be with your ex, but if they broke up with you, what makes you think things are gonna change a week later? Relax. Take a step back. Focus on yourself. Grow. Sometimes you need to separate, experience the highs and lows, and then get back together in a much better place. If she broke up with you, odds are she's not waiting by the phone for you. And in the end, if she doesn't want you back, you're in a much better place. Trust the process, improve your own life and you can only do better.
Fellas please take a moment to realize how many pretty girls you’ve seen in your life and how many you will see in the future. There’s no way she holds that much power over you to completely ruin your entire life
If you know she was special and you know the love and connection was real and you know there’s still a flame flickering, go for it! These are the moments of inaction that’ll haunt you your whole life - don’t listen to the bitter “ex is an ex for a reason” crowd, they seem to think people never screw up and are incapable of change and forgiveness. My ex and I still love each other, we never used to have to say it, I could tell she loved me everyday I looked into her eyes. It was deep and real and this is why I know I have to give this another chance. I’ve had relationships, dated meet heaps of girls, she is different and I was to her too.
Need this brother. I screwed up the relationship. Wasn’t emotionally mature and tbh ready for a relationship. I know I love her and she loves me. I’m working on myself rn to be a better human being and partner. Hope she’s willing to give us another chance. Thanks again
Absolutely loved that you shared your own experience from both sides. That's what many other channels on such topics lack - own life experience, admitting mistakes and sharing them.
Always remember Iron Rule of Tomassi #7: “It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.”
Thank you Courtney for reminding me that even though there are times I do miss her like today, that moving on is the best thing for me so i dont miss out on the opportunities & blessings that the lord is trying to give me and with more knowledge.
I lost someone that was my soulmate No matter what I do I can't stop thinking about her. I let her down time after time and I even seen the red flags but I still let her down. Don't let it get this bad If you love her Treat her so
9/10 you shouldn’t. Not just because of her being terrible but sometimes relationships even two good people just don’t work. I tried it once, I failed, I realized we’re meant to get into relationships to learn for the future.
So so true. Someone is your ex for a reason. It doesn’t make either of you bad people for something not working, it simply was a learning experience of what to look for and not look for in the next relationship. Getting back together 9 times out of 10 is a step backward in that journey.
An excellent video. I needed this one. The points that apply to me are "Giving space" and "moving on". I have since lost a bit of weight for me and I feel good. Thanks for letting me know I will be okay. I also hope that she will be happy too. Thank you, and keep up the good content.😊
This is actually THE BEST video I’ve watched on this subject over the past 2 months. The fact that it’s coming from a female who outlined her experiences made it significantly better.
Someone who I've been seeing for the last 3 in a half months just recently asked me for space. It was a very emotional talk but we both agreed it was best for us and for her specifically as it wasn't me and more so her needing to work on herself. We also agreed to not wait for each other even though we are on a break. Its just not a good way to live as if someone came in your life you shouldn't push it away. I've realized the last few weeks since we haven't contacted each other that if it's meant to be she'll be back and we'll be as strong as ever when she's ready. But if not I have to accept it and learn from this. And for anyone dealing with this just know to take it one day at a time. There's no need to feel anxious. Take the time to reflect, think about the good times you had and the people in your life and just work on yourself. I promise you it will get better.
I can never trust a girl again after she has left me, so I have never entertained the idea of getting any ex back. I had an ex call me 2 months after she left. There was no way she could know anything about what I was up to, so when she called, I just asked her why she was calling. She gave a bad answer and I told her to never call me again. Only a few months later did I even think that maybe she wanted me back. I was glad that I just hung up and didn't even give it a chance. It actually felt good to tell her off and mean it.
This is some of the most sensible advice I've seen on this topic. At least your phrasing of it is well articulated and reasoned. It wasn't anything completely revolutionary, but it doesn't have to be. It was rational, honest and free of ulterior motives. I appreciated the anecdote at the end that you shared because it made you even more relatable. It reminds us that even women can do things like that out of insecurity or panic. Also, the advice seems to be better coming from a pretty woman like you (not flirting, just stating a fact) because hearing those words from an attractive woman hits different somehow. Thanks.
I personally never had success getting an ex back. It's really up to her if she wants to talk to you again. One time out of the blue an ex wanted to meet up with me after 2 years, we hung out a few times but nothing happened, the spark was completely gone and that was that. I do think that if you're separate for a long time, you're not going to feel romance towards that person again, it's really awkward and weird.
Yes to working on yourself! You need to figure out your biggest issues and work to overcome them. Whether or not you get back together with this person you should be you 2.0, better in all the right ways. As men the biggest challenge is not just falling in love with a pretty face and seeing the other person for who she is. If you can do that you will most likely see that you shouldn´t be with her anyway.
I respect your honesty it takes courage to share such personal stories. I hope you are proud of what kind of person you’ve become and it doesn’t much matter how you got to that point in the long run
It is wasted time and effort for men to get their women back. When women are checked out, they've made a concious decision to move on. Getting back together will never have that consistent passion again. Your energy and time is best used to pursue other women and start from a new canvas.
I have to say this. I have seen thousands of videos from people ranging from intelligent to half-wits...all claiming to be experts/guru's of whatever they are/were talking about. The majority of them are either pretending for the camera or just talking out their backsides for views. You are one of THEE few, if not the only female content creator that I am GENUINELY drawn to, simply by your energy/vibe and the authentic way in which you carry yourself and in everything you say. It seeps through your pores. I have been watching your content for months now and this is the first time I've made a comment I think, I feel implored too... I even send my love interest your videos, to help out relationship, because you speak from a place of love and peace...which is a magnet to real people and a repellent to the disingenuous. Her and I struggle...on both our parts and we fight a lot, but no matter what...we always come back together to try and work things out. I love her but she can't seem to make up her mind and I won't put my life on hold for her to decide if she truly wants to be with me or not. She says she does but her actions don't prove it.
@@jleano609 you might be right... we've been through so much and things have gotten better in some area's. However I think it's pretty fcked up, what she and I have...but no one can seem to let go. She's trying and I'm trying...
This video came at the right time for me. I was feeling quite disappointed with myself that what have I done wrong. But watching this kinda helps. Thank you
Hi woman here. If a guy broke my heart, rejected me, or dumped me and he wants me back- I definitely want flowers! I’m 29 years old and no guy has EVER given me flowers. I want a guy to show up on my doorstep with flowers 1,000%! WOMEN WANT ROMANCE! Yes we also want you to be genuine and sincere. Tell us how you feel and be honest! A love letter wouldn’t hurt either! I’ve always wanted to receive a love letter from a guy because I’m the only one who has written them! And yes if you messed up and want her back then you need to pursue her and prove that you want her back! You have to be consistent. So no do NOT just move on and let her go. Make the romantic gesture! I’m still waiting and have always wanted these things from a man. When a guy is basic and just simply says sorry, I want you back- it doesn’t feel genuine or seem serious. We want effort! Sorry, I disagree with Courtney. We want romance, we want to be pursued, we want to know you care, we want the gesture. And I would not mind seeing the guy cry. It would show me his feelings for me are real and true!
What if she was the one to dump me and I want her back but she told me she’s not interested anymore because of the things I did to cause the breakup. Because I haven’t talked to her in a couple of weeks and I do want to write an accountability letter… should I wait and give her the space after that or should I pursue her after the letter
Thank you, Courtney. Love that you covered this. The only time this ever worked for me was when I wasn't even trying. It took a transformation of my body and my attitude to get this woman's interest, again. But, like you said at the beginning, it was very much a waste of time. It allowed me to come to terms with the fact that a lot of what was making me unhappy was this relationship to begin with. Also, great point you made that these grand gestures that characters make in movie don't translate well in real life in 99.9 percent of cases. They come off as sad, stalker-ish, delusional behavior. If a woman says she is not (or no longer) interested, then it's time to move on. Keep up the great content and thanks for all of the help.
Great tips Courtney. There is nothing wrong with admitting we have issues, or faults that we need to work on. Being confident does not mean being narcissistic. Especially love the part about making changes/improvements for OURSELVES; regardless of whether or not we get the person back. I am actually going through this right now, and while I don't know if things will work out on the relationship end; I do know that I am much healthier, feel a whole lot better, and are much wiser, and confident than I was because of the changes I made, and continue to work on.
The best thing to do is create the best as possible version of yourself afterwards and be open to new relationships. If along the way they happen to want to get back and for the right reasons then ok. And they better be an amazing person and the reason is actually reconcilable because many things are not. Personally though I don’t get back with exs. The relationship ending happened for a reason and a precedent of leaving has already been made. All I’ll say is there has gotta be a damn good reason getting back and better not be because your lonely, then your doing something wrong and time to work on yourself
Courtney all these tips are really insightful and extremely helpful and I clicked on this video not only because I love the great advice you give but also because I was curious on "How to get her back" If I would of saw this video when I was younger, I would absolutely use every tip in this video especially when I was super desperate, had low self-esteem, scarcity mindset, anxious, depressed, and felt like the reason why she did leave in the first place is because it was ALL my fault. I knew very little of the nature and psychology of female nature, relationships, more or less even a Healthy Positive Great Relationship when I was younger, I was totally invisible to females and when I did get female attention it wasn't the ones that I did want to talk to and I had to settle for whatever I could get at that time. Not to say that I wasn't appreciate the females that did give me a chance but when a young guy like me would put in the work to get the one that I saw was top pick to my perspective at the time was worth it because I would of done that if the reward is worth it and especially if it's guarantee because I did make the effort, it's not the same with being with a female you overlooked and see her like not as like my 3rd, 4th, maybe 5th choice but gaining a lot of experience now, still growing, still working on myself, gotten my heart broken, and even broken other people's heart as well I've Matured more and see things differently now but I know I still have much more to learn and the lessons I did learn is the hard way because I didn't have much Proper Guidance, felt like no one Cared, had A lot of pain & trauma that I didn't know how to heal myself from so I became very destructive, selfish, and resentment that I started to hate myself from what others did to me and what I not only did to myself but the pain and destruction that I brought to others as well in my past relationships and some relatives as well. Like when I watch this video now after what I've been through from other females screwing me over and the dirt I also did as well I'm actually glad that I get back any of my ex girlfriends that I messed up with because I wouldn't have made as much progress as I'm STILL making now for myself because If I would of gotten them back I would have still been making the same mistakes. Looking back now, The females that I considered "Top Pick" to me back then weren't actually High Quality Females at all, they would play silly immature games, 24/7 seeking attention/validation from anyone, had an attitude problem, emotionally damaged/manipulating, not very intelligent, very vindictive ect I'm not perfect by any means and I admit that but I came a long way from where I was when I was a complete mess and I'm not talking about a hot mess either 😆 Courtney, I know there's times that there's some people out here that make you feel like that you're being taken for granted because I know you do care and you have an incredible tender heart and a great head over your shoulders and you also have had your fair share of getting hurt by past relationships/dates but that's their loss because if you would of gotten any of them back then you wouldn't be with Teddy right now. You talk so highly of him and I don't know much about him besides the stuff you say about him and the appearances he makes in the videos but you two have something great going on so I wish nothing but the best for you two 🙏💯
Hi Courtney, I (22) have quite bad anxiety and I had a massive panic attack in august 2021 which led to me breaking up with my ex (19). I deeply regretted it and she gave me a second chance in March 2022, but I hadn’t fully dealt with those emotions and I pulled away because I felt like it wasn’t fair of her to be responsible for helping me through my problems. I knew that I loved her, but I wanted to really prove that I could be different and better. So I’ve been doing therapy whilst still staying in contact the whole time. A few days ago, I admitted that I still loved her and left it alone for those last 8 months because I wanted to prove that I had changed. She said that she had been seeing a couple of other people casually over the past couple of months and that she didn’t have feelings for me anymore, but also that she will always care about me because I was her first love and she was mine. She hasn’t had a serious relationship before apart from me. She also said that she still wanted to be friends, and that she would consider meeting up when she has time in the next month or so. She also made it clear that she didn’t want space. What should I do in this situation? Is there a possibility that she is keeping her guard up and that I could get back with her eventually? Is it best to try and move on, or try to be her friend and work my way back to being close with her and gradually convincing her to get back with me? Thanks.
number 2 is very strong. I've had girls be very indecisive if they were into me or not, gave them space and kept being my normal self and unaffected; Had a couple girls fall in love and stick around this way.
Courtney your simply amazing I’ve learned so much I wish I knew about women these last 6 months after my ex dumped me. I’m 40… she left me for somebody way younger despite everything I did for her. The sacrifices I made to make it work. No lies I tried to get back with my ex who cheated on me and here is what I learned from you Be honest with yourself. Accept responsibility for your actions don’t blame others. Don’t chase people, only chase yourself if you get ghosted move on. Don’t rely on other people for happiness the best / first relationship u have is with yourself. Proud to say I have had nothing to do with her. I lost 45 lbs and slowly learning to love myself again. And I accept what I did on my end and that is why I follow u so I don’t make the same mistakes I did with her ever again. I know another angel is out there for me I just gotta put in the work like everyone else 💪 😇
It takes something special to be as transparent as you were regarding the break-up you had with the guy, and the subsequent begging and pleading from your side despite his cheating. You are a breed apart Courtney :)
One element you forgot to add. For the most part the woman Hass to come back to you, if she’s not willing to come back to you then in reality you shouldn’t want her, you should only want women who want you and are in the right energy consistently. Anyone else who doesn’t want you or who isn’t in the right energy consistently can fuck off at that point why would you want anyone in your life who doesn’t want to be in your life doesn’t make any sense
Since my wife left a few months ago, I've spent so much time working on myself and becoming the man I should have been in the beginning. If she's willing to work on us, I'd be ready to show her, but if not, I won't be making the same mistakes in the next relationship.
As someone who desperately tried to get my ex back when we broke up, fellas just don't. Just don't. Take the time to do your thing and to grow. You don't need her and she isn't worth it
@@recabitejehonadab2654 the things I've learned about her and the relationship in just the last 2 months since writing that comment only solidify my stance and decision
It seems counter intuitive, but the best way to get an ex back is to live your life as if you'll never get her back. Build your own life, try to be as successful as you can in whatever you do. Maybe she might realize what a good thing she's lost and come back to you, but by then you'll probably be so far beyond the point you were at when the relationship ended that you won't care if you see her again or not.
They say experience is the best teacher. Unless you have experience getting back with someone or they try to get back with you and are sharing what you learned from that, this may not help. The main takeaway I got and what others seem to have gotten as well is that it just isn't worth the time and effort to get back with an ex. Mine left me for someone else and while betrayal stings initially, you just cut your losses and move on in life. If anything, you're the bigger man here. Feel bad for the guy is for not knowing what they're getting themselves into, and feel bad for the cheating ex because if they must hurt others to get what they want, they don't deserve to be in a relationship until they fix their problem. Even still, you wouldn't know unless you see it. If she left you, she must realize that actions have consequences. If she tries to get back with you, make her realize that by breaking your trust, it's difficult to earn it back and most likely she doesn't deserve it back, no matter what she does to prove how sorry she is.
Iron Rule of Rollo Tomassi #7 "It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was". Courtney - you could do a great series on your "take" on the 9 Iron Rules of Rollo Tomassi. There is a lot of underpinnings of Red Pill concepts contained therein and in some of your past vids you've shown some misunderstandings of what the Red Pill actually is.
You should never take a girl back. Marriage is the only thing worth preserving. Beyond that its best to look elsewhere . There is always another woman. They are all replaceable.
Great video and better the most! Thanks for sharing your personal experience as well. Lots of great tips and suggestions to help make the right decisions. Appreciate it!
Never go back to an ex regardless of the situation. If she left you, she's looking for someone better. If she goes back to you, she settled for you because she had no other options. The only time you should take an ex back is if it's your ex wife and you guys have kids, only if she didn't cheat on you.
Not always. Sometimes the guy gets complacent and stops being the guy she fell in love with. They hold on until they can’t anymore and make the decision that’s best for themselves. Happened to me. When she met me I was at the top. Over time I hit a slump, got complacent and stopped being the guy she fell for. If you really want her back, the only thing you can do is go no contact, put the work into being that guy again, and then if she does reach out, show her that. She will only reach out if the memories of the highs of the relationship make her nostalgic, if when you were at your best you made her feel like no one ever has before, or since. If she doesn’t, yeah you fucked up and now you move on and try again and be better for the next woman. We all have fear we will never find a love as genuine and reciprocated as our best. Only thing we can do is be the best that we can and trust that the right one will show up when it’s time.
THANK YOU. LIKE THANK YOUUU FR, I was not having any knowledge which you gave rn. This helped alott pls keep helping us and doing the good thing for a good cause. Love you
8 years, two kids. I fucked up, I spent a good amount of time stuck in my head battling my demons and trauma and it always ended up with me being nasty to the people closest to me. I always loved and cared but I always let my past wound me instead of making me stronger. She said she started hating me. I did a complete 180 with my behaviors and attitude I'm a better father and better person for myself but I know how much she means to me. Things were going so great for a few weeks and now she says she just isn't happy that she loves me but isn't in love with me but also says that shes still here. I love this woman and family with all my heart and hate myself for my actions but am I just causing myself more pain trying to find her spark again?
This video has helped me SO MUCH Thank you! I think I will come back to re-watch this video every day The guy I like is seeing someone new now He does like me anymore cuz he said I was too intense But we’re still good friends and talk every single day, yet he wouldn’t touch me or consider me anymore, said that even if he’s single again he wouldn’t consider me But we’re still good friends and talk every day as he still wants to be friends So I just hope I can have him back again one day Knowing his bf sleeps with him, stays over most nights, now makes me wanna cry every time
She got forced marriage last month. And she managed to escape and is in another country now. She told me she's fine. And she might not love me again. Cause of the trauma. She's distance now and never to trust love again. I feel so hopeless. So I gave her time.
I listen to most of your videos this one in particular a person like you needs to be pretty smart in the advice and you do very well in this. I will say that I think you're 97% right most of the time and it is good that you're giving men good solid practical advice.
Amazing tips and definitely you are totally right. I love how you encourage to find respect and love in ourselves so we can be not only better but happy. Thank you 🙏
Good point, JL; learn from what happened and move on. Your next relationship will be that much better. Courtney has good information to share with the demographic she attracts. I'm older than Courtney, but I still have things to learn. If we stop learning, we stop growing. If we stop growing? I wouldn't want to be around someone who isn't learning something throughout their life. I, unfortunately, am surrounded by racketeers who know everything and degrade those who aren't in their Mob. Courtney said that insecure people tend to find everything wrong with someone else, and that's my situation. However, knowing what narcissists want, I don't give them what they want, and they cannot control me. Lack of control will lead to bad things happening to me sooner or later. Regards
Okay so the only way you should want to get back with somebody that dumped you is because YOU screwed up. If they're willing to take you back it's going to be because they have seen you've grown as a person. Words mean nothing here without action and you have to show them that you recognize what you did wrong and the steps you are going to take to prevent the same thing from happening in the future. The most important thing is to make sure that they understand that you've changed whether they take you back or not.
Never go back to a someone that dumped you, ever. Keep your dignity. If you messed up, realize she's justified in leaving you. If you didn't mess up, realize you're better off with her leaving. Either way, if you're not the one that left, don't chase the other person. Let it go, move on. Remember, no means no. Get the hint and move on.
Thank you for this video. I learned a couple of things. I especially liked your admission in the last minute of your video. You are human, it's ok. Now you know more & hence you are wiser.
Don't know how to get back in touch with someone i was talking to on a dating app but my parents made me get rid of the app without telling her that I had to get rid of the app because they don't want me on dating apps I typed my phone number on the app but I don't know if she saved it
I REFUSE TO MOVE ON!!! I WILL GET HER BACK!!! PERIOD!!! MY VICTORIA!!! WE BELONG TOGETHER!!! SCREW WORKING ON YOURSELF!!! IM GONNA WORK ON HER AND GETTING HER TO LOVE ME AGAIN!!! NO LETTING GO!!! NO HOLDING BACK!!!
Its okay to get with someone who still has some feelings left in them for you! But its not wise decision to get back a narcissist ex back, pretty sure she gonna make your life hell again
Please help: I have a coworker that I haven't been able to talk with, but worked near for 4 months, and when I first noticed her, I thought she was too young. I asked another coworker about her and he said she is 30 next month and single. I tried approaching her several times but she is a very good worker and we barely have time to say hi to each other. Our jobs are demanding. I observed her interactions with others and she is friends with three of my friends. She is very nice, very smart, very strong and very very pretty. I noticed that she started to appear nervous when around me and she looks me in the eyes with full attention when I am talking to others. It seems to me that she was crushing on me as much as I am crushing on her. I haven't felt this way about a woman since before she was born. I'm 54, and getting alot of discouragement from my family and friends, except the ones who know her but they don't want to get involved in case it doesn't work out with us. I feel that I have fallen in love with her, and I know she is attracted to me. But for the last 3 weeks, she has been avoiding me, which I understand since I started avoiding her for the previous 3 weeks because I have been thinking too much about how to win her over. She is everything I have ever wanted in a woman, and I want her in my life, but I don't know how to fix this situation since I have appeared both needy, indecisive and lacking courage. I don't have a problem being rejected, so be it, I haven't been with a woman since my last x-wife who I divorced in 2003, a long time without practice dating. We live in, and grew up in small communities, so much of the PUA techniques appear disingenuous. What can I do? I am grateful for any interaction with her, even if I just see her walk by. Please help?
In this video it was mentioned that you should be always honest. Currently I was meeting with a girl and I was 100% honest with her all the time, but one time she got offended by one of my replies. Her answer started with "Forget it...", so it's kind of sure she got offended. I tried to ask why she was offended, because for me it was not clear for me, but got no answer. Few days later I tried to ask again and got an answer that she have no issues. I asked if she did not even had an issue and got the answer that no, which is clearly not true. Actually this and some other answers made me so upset that I kind of burned everything behind me, but for the future I would be interested if you should not take such answers seriously (even if it's a lie), because for me that answer meant that I am not even being respected to get an honest answer.
begging your cheating EX to take you back is so funny 😂😂 that why I like your videos.............very honest and humble!! Life is not about miss up, it’s about “PICKING YOURSELF BACK UP!!!!
When it comes to being honest and intentional, if she said she is not dating “right now” given the amount of changes going on in her life and implied that she was leaving the door open for the future. Should I be honest and tell her that I am willing to wait if she was in fact leaving the door open for something in the future?
No Guys, Never go back with an Ex. Most of the Time it will not work and is just a waste of Time. Learn from it and move on. Delete immediately all her Contacts after the breakup. That's my Advice.
I need to move on. Why its so hard. She cheated on me and still I want her back. Guess it's my own insecurity, I never was insecure, breakups are hard. Bin three months living like a zombie. Still, hit the gym 4 times a week, quit smoking for a month now and seeing a therapist...waiting for the sun the shine.
1. take accountability
2. give her space
3. be honest/intentional
4. be the best you
5. know when to move on
As soon as they leave you, skip straight to step 5
111
111
Bros, unless you know you fucked up, don't try to get her back. If you're grinding and treating her like a human and she left, DON'T CHASE! REPLACE!
I fucked up big time… tried everything I could to get her back but it didn’t work out..
@Bvrney Colemvn Same here bro, same here. I'm at day 3 of us breaking up. Gonna level up thr rest of this year and see what happens. We had a good breakup, and it was still initiated by her
Agree. Men gotta up their standards. She doesn't care about you anyway, why should you care?? open to door for her and let her go.
@@sirninjaraiden There is no good or bad breakup, bro. Work on yourself, get paid with good standing jobs, hit the gym, pursue your hobbies. You will look back one day and thank her for leaving you. Don't dwell on the hope of getting back together. Stay strong, and believe in the you of the present, not the us in the future.
@luanphan2706 I don't anymore, man. I found out something nefarious a month after she broke it off. She had another dude lined up.
So you're right, it wasn't good
Just focus on yourself fellas. If she cared she’d still be around.
This.
See thats the thing. She dont have to care bro. I still do and there aint letting go of that shit
Amen!
No doubt. 100% correct
Ti amo.
The only reason to try this: You are reasonably sure she's still interested or somewhat in love with you. But going all in with a woman that simply brushed you out of her life is demining and humiliating.
Its one of those times where i am completely willing to demean and huniliate myself for her as long as it means keeping her.
@@lukesaylor6742 I know how you feel but you need to make her chase you
@@americancountryball2077 yeah youre right. Too bad its not happening, found out she cheated on me and left me for another guy since I posted this
Guys I’m trying to better myself and build my trust back and become happy with myself to get this girl back after we’ve been together for nearly a year and a half and I will admit I have made some mistakes we’re all human and everyone does it but I need to become happy with myself and gain my confidence back to get her back I think because I think she still wants me back I’m hopefully fixing to start a new job and I’m hoping that changes my attitude and the way I act I just need some advice on how to become happy with myself and build my trust back
@@andrewnewtonoutdoors6861 did you get her back bro?
Yea how you get her back guys,
The answer is: You don’t. Live your life and you will find someone better , why would you want someone who thought you werent enough. You should be higher value than that guys.. step up the mindset
To provide some perspective. Imagine you were unpopular growing up, girls have always rejected you, every girl you wanted ended up dating some douchebag. Then you meet "the one" a girl that´s a 10/10 for you and she shows you affection and love. So you fall in love with her, thinking she will bring you happiness and this is the turning point to you. Then she goes completely cold and moves on. I know intellectually she´s not good for me but emotionally it f*** with me. I´m much better off than when it first happened but I can´t turn off the emotions like a tap. But if anybody reads this and needs some advice: Thinking about something gives it energy, the more you replay thoughts and memories the more entrenched it becomes in your psyche. Some people are naturally more prone to overthinking so I think that plays a part as well.
@@buzzbuzzard3809 Your mindset is not there yet. You have the feeling that you are lucky to have this girl, if you have this feeling you’ll lose her as happened to you. You also say that you thought she would bring you happiness, does this mean you were not really happy and thought she would make you happy? Cause if it does than thats also a very bad thing. You should not be searching for your happiness in a woman you have to be happy without one. You need to focus on your purpose en become more valueble so you wont be desperate for women. Being happy without anyone and focussing on yourself also attracts women and makes them not want to leave you. Sorry btw if I make mistakes in my sentences, english isnt my first language
@@ziagno4420 nah ur good man, I realized some of these things but it´s good to hear again from a neutral person. Thanks for the message man. I will keep working on that for sure. Best of luck to you.
@@buzzbuzzard3809 thanks man. Everything starts with realization. Just keep working on yourself and things will come your way ✌️
No one will ever be better than her..
The first step in "getting someone back" is often realizing it's just not worth it. Sometimes it might be, but rarely is it ever. It didn't workout for a reason. Realize why, learn from that, and find someone better or better for you.
Oh, when someone sees you successful without them, they'll be latching on to you to get back!!!
@@CanucksxDream It often rarely is worth trying to get back with someone, especially in that case. The only time I can maybe see it is if you really messed up and it's entirely on you and you're confident you've fixed whatever your "defect" is and you really like the other person.
@@CJ2345ish Even then, they will always see that "defect" and not fully trust you. To me, its best to fix it and move on with someone new who won't be holding your past against you.
its easier to hook up with an ex than to find a new one u can get sex with...... this is why men try and rekindle
im guessing women do it for sorta same reason but the dont want to add to their body count
@@zeedexo We all understand. Almost everyone has experienced unrequited love/broken heart before they get out of high school. Learning to let go and move on should be taught as required class for Freshmen.
Sometimes people just need to experience life. You could be meant to be with your ex, but if they broke up with you, what makes you think things are gonna change a week later? Relax. Take a step back. Focus on yourself. Grow. Sometimes you need to separate, experience the highs and lows, and then get back together in a much better place. If she broke up with you, odds are she's not waiting by the phone for you. And in the end, if she doesn't want you back, you're in a much better place. Trust the process, improve your own life and you can only do better.
Fellas please take a moment to realize how many pretty girls you’ve seen in your life and how many you will see in the future. There’s no way she holds that much power over you to completely ruin your entire life
💯
Bruh she is the most pretty tho..
Yea the most beautiful girl in my eyes
Are you saying it’s *never* worth it to work it out with an ex?
@@Rizzy_K yes that is exactly what I’m saying. Why do you ask
Can’t get back with someone who doesn’t love you
true
Sometimes it makes a person wonder if the other person even loved them in the first place.
Tell it like it is.
@@josealvarado8842 most people have infatuation or lust.
Thanks Captain Obvious
If you're with the right person it's impossible to lose them, because they want to be with you and behave as good as possible to stay with you.
In a fantasy world that may be true but in the real world people sometimes mess up in relationships doesn't mean they don't love you
@@death24314 true relationships aren't all rainbows and sunshine
If you know she was special and you know the love and connection was real and you know there’s still a flame flickering, go for it!
These are the moments of inaction that’ll haunt you your whole life - don’t listen to the bitter “ex is an ex for a reason” crowd, they seem to think people never screw up and are incapable of change and forgiveness.
My ex and I still love each other, we never used to have to say it, I could tell she loved me everyday I looked into her eyes. It was deep and real and this is why I know I have to give this another chance. I’ve had relationships, dated meet heaps of girls, she is different and I was to her too.
Need this brother. I screwed up the relationship. Wasn’t emotionally mature and tbh ready for a relationship. I know I love her and she loves me. I’m working on myself rn to be a better human being and partner. Hope she’s willing to give us another chance. Thanks again
Absolutely loved that you shared your own experience from both sides. That's what many other channels on such topics lack - own life experience, admitting mistakes and sharing them.
Always remember Iron Rule of Tomassi #7:
“It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.”
Damn
This is how to get her back, don't. If she doesn't want you, move on.
Thank you Courtney for reminding me that even though there are times I do miss her like today, that moving on is the best thing for me so i dont miss out on the opportunities & blessings that the lord is trying to give me and with more knowledge.
I lost someone that was my soulmate
No matter what I do I can't stop thinking about her.
I let her down time after time and I even seen the red flags but I still let her down.
Don't let it get this bad
If you love her
Treat her so
9/10 you shouldn’t. Not just because of her being terrible but sometimes relationships even two good people just don’t work. I tried it once, I failed, I realized we’re meant to get into relationships to learn for the future.
So so true. Someone is your ex for a reason. It doesn’t make either of you bad people for something not working, it simply was a learning experience of what to look for and not look for in the next relationship. Getting back together 9 times out of 10 is a step backward in that journey.
I would say it depends on why you two broke up
I love the comments section in dating videos. Many thanks to those of you who share your knowledge and experiences.
An excellent video. I needed this one. The points that apply to me are "Giving space" and "moving on".
I have since lost a bit of weight for me and I feel good. Thanks for letting me know I will be okay. I also hope that she will be happy too.
Thank you, and keep up the good content.😊
This is actually THE BEST video I’ve watched on this subject over the past 2 months. The fact that it’s coming from a female who outlined her experiences made it significantly better.
Someone who I've been seeing for the last 3 in a half months just recently asked me for space. It was a very emotional talk but we both agreed it was best for us and for her specifically as it wasn't me and more so her needing to work on herself. We also agreed to not wait for each other even though we are on a break. Its just not a good way to live as if someone came in your life you shouldn't push it away. I've realized the last few weeks since we haven't contacted each other that if it's meant to be she'll be back and we'll be as strong as ever when she's ready. But if not I have to accept it and learn from this. And for anyone dealing with this just know to take it one day at a time. There's no need to feel anxious. Take the time to reflect, think about the good times you had and the people in your life and just work on yourself. I promise you it will get better.
I can never trust a girl again after she has left me, so I have never entertained the idea of getting any ex back.
I had an ex call me 2 months after she left. There was no way she could know anything about what I was up to, so when she called, I just asked her why she was calling. She gave a bad answer and I told her to never call me again.
Only a few months later did I even think that maybe she wanted me back. I was glad that I just hung up and didn't even give it a chance.
It actually felt good to tell her off and mean it.
This is some of the most sensible advice I've seen on this topic. At least your phrasing of it is well articulated and reasoned. It wasn't anything completely revolutionary, but it doesn't have to be. It was rational, honest and free of ulterior motives. I appreciated the anecdote at the end that you shared because it made you even more relatable. It reminds us that even women can do things like that out of insecurity or panic. Also, the advice seems to be better coming from a pretty woman like you (not flirting, just stating a fact) because hearing those words from an attractive woman hits different somehow. Thanks.
I applaud you for your willingness to admit that you are not perfect, that you do make missteps.
You just became a ten in my book.
I personally never had success getting an ex back. It's really up to her if she wants to talk to you again. One time out of the blue an ex wanted to meet up with me after 2 years, we hung out a few times but nothing happened, the spark was completely gone and that was that. I do think that if you're separate for a long time, you're not going to feel romance towards that person again, it's really awkward and weird.
i got mine back once but then i made mistakes and she left for good! 😭
Yes to working on yourself! You need to figure out your biggest issues and work to overcome them. Whether or not you get back together with this person you should be you 2.0, better in all the right ways. As men the biggest challenge is not just falling in love with a pretty face and seeing the other person for who she is. If you can do that you will most likely see that you shouldn´t be with her anyway.
I respect your honesty it takes courage to share such personal stories. I hope you are proud of what kind of person you’ve become and it doesn’t much matter how you got to that point in the long run
Thank you, Tommy! I appreciate your kind words 😊
It is wasted time and effort for men to get their women back. When women are checked out, they've made a concious decision to move on. Getting back together will never have that consistent passion again. Your energy and time is best used to pursue other women and start from a new canvas.
I think it depends on the situation and if the woman still loves you or not
Best thing to do is to force yourself through the motions. You have the freedom to push yourself towards becoming exactly who you want to be, use it.
Thank you for making this! I used to want someone so bad that I begged and pleaded for so long, but now doing way better/working on myself. 🙏😭😁
I have to say this.
I have seen thousands of videos from people ranging from intelligent to half-wits...all claiming to be experts/guru's of whatever they are/were talking about.
The majority of them are either pretending for the camera or just talking out their backsides for views.
You are one of THEE few, if not the only female content creator that I am GENUINELY drawn to, simply by your energy/vibe and the authentic way in which you carry yourself and in everything you say. It seeps through your pores.
I have been watching your content for months now and this is the first time I've made a comment I think, I feel implored too...
I even send my love interest your videos, to help out relationship, because you speak from a place of love and peace...which is a magnet to real people and a repellent to the disingenuous.
Her and I struggle...on both our parts and we fight a lot, but no matter what...we always come back together to try and work things out. I love her but she can't seem to make up her mind and I won't put my life on hold for her to decide if she truly wants to be with me or not.
She says she does but her actions don't prove it.
Oh boy, where to start........?
@@jleano609 Anywhere mate...I'm all " eyes ".
@@getrekt8529 just that you seem to be over romanticizing what sounds like a pretty dysfunctional relationship.
@@jleano609 you might be right...
we've been through so much and things have gotten better in some area's.
However I think it's pretty fcked up, what she and I have...but no one can seem to let go.
She's trying and I'm trying...
This video came at the right time for me. I was feeling quite disappointed with myself that what have I done wrong. But watching this kinda helps. Thank you
She was never yours, it was only your turn. Cut your losses, learn from the experience and move forward.
Thanx Darius
Hi woman here. If a guy broke my heart, rejected me, or dumped me and he wants me back- I definitely want flowers! I’m 29 years old and no guy has EVER given me flowers. I want a guy to show up on my doorstep with flowers 1,000%! WOMEN WANT ROMANCE! Yes we also want you to be genuine and sincere. Tell us how you feel and be honest! A love letter wouldn’t hurt either! I’ve always wanted to receive a love letter from a guy because I’m the only one who has written them! And yes if you messed up and want her back then you need to pursue her and prove that you want her back! You have to be consistent. So no do NOT just move on and let her go. Make the romantic gesture! I’m still waiting and have always wanted these things from a man. When a guy is basic and just simply says sorry, I want you back- it doesn’t feel genuine or seem serious. We want effort! Sorry, I disagree with Courtney. We want romance, we want to be pursued, we want to know you care, we want the gesture. And I would not mind seeing the guy cry. It would show me his feelings for me are real and true!
What if she was the one to dump me and I want her back but she told me she’s not interested anymore because of the things I did to cause the breakup. Because I haven’t talked to her in a couple of weeks and I do want to write an accountability letter… should I wait and give her the space after that or should I pursue her after the letter
Thank you, Courtney. Love that you covered this. The only time this ever worked for me was when I wasn't even trying. It took a transformation of my body and my attitude to get this woman's interest, again. But, like you said at the beginning, it was very much a waste of time. It allowed me to come to terms with the fact that a lot of what was making me unhappy was this relationship to begin with. Also, great point you made that these grand gestures that characters make in movie don't translate well in real life in 99.9 percent of cases. They come off as sad, stalker-ish, delusional behavior. If a woman says she is not (or no longer) interested, then it's time to move on. Keep up the great content and thanks for all of the help.
Great tips Courtney. There is nothing wrong with admitting we have issues, or faults that we need to work on.
Being confident does not mean being narcissistic.
Especially love the part about making changes/improvements for OURSELVES; regardless of whether or not we get the person back. I am actually going through this right now, and while I don't know if things will work out on the relationship end; I do know that I am much healthier, feel a whole lot better, and are much wiser, and confident than I was because of the changes I made, and continue to work on.
The best thing to do is create the best as possible version of yourself afterwards and be open to new relationships.
If along the way they happen to want to get back and for the right reasons then ok. And they better be an amazing person and the reason is actually reconcilable because many things are not.
Personally though I don’t get back with exs. The relationship ending happened for a reason and a precedent of leaving has already been made.
All I’ll say is there has gotta be a damn good reason getting back and better not be because your lonely, then your doing something wrong and time to work on yourself
Courtney all these tips are really insightful and extremely helpful and I clicked on this video not only because I love the great advice you give but also because I was curious on "How to get her back" If I would of saw this video when I was younger, I would absolutely use every tip in this video especially when I was super desperate, had low self-esteem, scarcity mindset, anxious, depressed, and felt like the reason why she did leave in the first place is because it was ALL my fault. I knew very little of the nature and psychology of female nature, relationships, more or less even a Healthy Positive Great Relationship when I was younger, I was totally invisible to females and when I did get female attention it wasn't the ones that I did want to talk to and I had to settle for whatever I could get at that time. Not to say that I wasn't appreciate the females that did give me a chance but when a young guy like me would put in the work to get the one that I saw was top pick to my perspective at the time was worth it because I would of done that if the reward is worth it and especially if it's guarantee because I did make the effort, it's not the same with being with a female you overlooked and see her like not as like my 3rd, 4th, maybe 5th choice but gaining a lot of experience now, still growing, still working on myself, gotten my heart broken, and even broken other people's heart as well I've Matured more and see things differently now but I know I still have much more to learn and the lessons I did learn is the hard way because I didn't have much Proper Guidance, felt like no one Cared, had A lot of pain & trauma that I didn't know how to heal myself from so I became very destructive, selfish, and resentment that I started to hate myself from what others did to me and what I not only did to myself but the pain and destruction that I brought to others as well in my past relationships and some relatives as well. Like when I watch this video now after what I've been through from other females screwing me over and the dirt I also did as well I'm actually glad that I get back any of my ex girlfriends that I messed up with because I wouldn't have made as much progress as I'm STILL making now for myself because If I would of gotten them back I would have still been making the same mistakes. Looking back now, The females that I considered "Top Pick" to me back then weren't actually High Quality Females at all, they would play silly immature games, 24/7 seeking attention/validation from anyone, had an attitude problem, emotionally damaged/manipulating, not very intelligent, very vindictive ect I'm not perfect by any means and I admit that but I came a long way from where I was when I was a complete mess and I'm not talking about a hot mess either 😆 Courtney, I know there's times that there's some people out here that make you feel like that you're being taken for granted because I know you do care and you have an incredible tender heart and a great head over your shoulders and you also have had your fair share of getting hurt by past relationships/dates but that's their loss because if you would of gotten any of them back then you wouldn't be with Teddy right now. You talk so highly of him and I don't know much about him besides the stuff you say about him and the appearances he makes in the videos but you two have something great going on so I wish nothing but the best for you two 🙏💯
Dont ever want her back. you split for a reason, nothing can fix that. Let her do whatever but don't want her back it'll end badly again.
I feel like you are the only coach wich actually is a decent human being and knows stuff about modern dating
Hi Courtney, I (22) have quite bad anxiety and I had a massive panic attack in august 2021 which led to me breaking up with my ex (19). I deeply regretted it and she gave me a second chance in March 2022, but I hadn’t fully dealt with those emotions and I pulled away because I felt like it wasn’t fair of her to be responsible for helping me through my problems. I knew that I loved her, but I wanted to really prove that I could be different and better. So I’ve been doing therapy whilst still staying in contact the whole time. A few days ago, I admitted that I still loved her and left it alone for those last 8 months because I wanted to prove that I had changed. She said that she had been seeing a couple of other people casually over the past couple of months and that she didn’t have feelings for me anymore, but also that she will always care about me because I was her first love and she was mine. She hasn’t had a serious relationship before apart from me. She also said that she still wanted to be friends, and that she would consider meeting up when she has time in the next month or so. She also made it clear that she didn’t want space. What should I do in this situation? Is there a possibility that she is keeping her guard up and that I could get back with her eventually? Is it best to try and move on, or try to be her friend and work my way back to being close with her and gradually convincing her to get back with me? Thanks.
Great advice Courtney, definitely working on yourself will improve your mind/body and spirit. Everybody needs to watch this video! 👏
What I have learned in my 37 years is that if a woman breaks up with me, her loss. There will never be a second chance. Just move on.
Great video as always Courtney! A trick that worked for me was ceasing all communications with a girl for 6 months to create the “reset” effect.
number 2 is very strong. I've had girls be very indecisive if they were into me or not, gave them space and kept being my normal self and unaffected; Had a couple girls fall in love and stick around this way.
My ex left me for a lazy druggy no life. I guess my problem was that I worked hard and went to school to get a better career
Courtney your simply amazing I’ve learned so much I wish I knew about women these last 6 months after my ex dumped me. I’m 40… she left me for somebody way younger despite everything I did for her. The sacrifices I made to make it work. No lies I tried to get back with my ex who cheated on me and here is what I learned from you
Be honest with yourself.
Accept responsibility for your actions don’t blame others.
Don’t chase people, only chase yourself if you get ghosted move on.
Don’t rely on other people for happiness the best / first relationship u have is with yourself.
Proud to say I have had nothing to do with her. I lost 45 lbs and slowly learning to love myself again. And I accept what I did on my end and that is why I follow u so I don’t make the same mistakes I did with her ever again. I know another angel is out there for me I just gotta put in the work like everyone else 💪 😇
It takes something special to be as transparent as you were regarding the break-up you had with the guy, and the subsequent begging and pleading from your side despite his cheating. You are a breed apart Courtney :)
I’ve been asking everyone that can listen what I could do about my situation and every keeps telling me WORK ON YOURSELF AND YOU WILL FOND BETTER.
It’s far more important things for me to be concerned with than if another person wants to stay in my life. She can go.
One element you forgot to add. For the most part the woman Hass to come back to you, if she’s not willing to come back to you then in reality you shouldn’t want her, you should only want women who want you and are in the right energy consistently. Anyone else who doesn’t want you or who isn’t in the right energy consistently can fuck off at that point why would you want anyone in your life who doesn’t want to be in your life doesn’t make any sense
Since my wife left a few months ago, I've spent so much time working on myself and becoming the man I should have been in the beginning. If she's willing to work on us, I'd be ready to show her, but if not, I won't be making the same mistakes in the next relationship.
How long y’all been together?
it is radially the most important thing is to respect yourself and work on yourself .
This kind of content realy is a blessing to have, never knew this kind of stuf excisted, gues you'll find it when you need it. Thanks heaps.
As someone who desperately tried to get my ex back when we broke up, fellas just don't. Just don't. Take the time to do your thing and to grow. You don't need her and she isn't worth it
Absolutely. Never take her back.
@@recabitejehonadab2654 the things I've learned about her and the relationship in just the last 2 months since writing that comment only solidify my stance and decision
@@WailfulSeeker82 and why ?
can you do a video on chemistry vs compatibility? i feel like people overvalue chemistry when compatibility is ultimately more important
YESSSSS This is a good one.
Yes jay shetty
Chemistry is how you get her. Compatibility is how you keep her.
It seems counter intuitive, but the best way to get an ex back is to live your life as if you'll never get her back. Build your own life, try to be as successful as you can in whatever you do. Maybe she might realize what a good thing she's lost and come back to you, but by then you'll probably be so far beyond the point you were at when the relationship ended that you won't care if you see her again or not.
They say experience is the best teacher. Unless you have experience getting back with someone or they try to get back with you and are sharing what you learned from that, this may not help. The main takeaway I got and what others seem to have gotten as well is that it just isn't worth the time and effort to get back with an ex. Mine left me for someone else and while betrayal stings initially, you just cut your losses and move on in life. If anything, you're the bigger man here. Feel bad for the guy is for not knowing what they're getting themselves into, and feel bad for the cheating ex because if they must hurt others to get what they want, they don't deserve to be in a relationship until they fix their problem. Even still, you wouldn't know unless you see it. If she left you, she must realize that actions have consequences. If she tries to get back with you, make her realize that by breaking your trust, it's difficult to earn it back and most likely she doesn't deserve it back, no matter what she does to prove how sorry she is.
Iron Rule of Rollo Tomassi #7
"It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was".
Courtney - you could do a great series on your "take" on the 9 Iron Rules of Rollo Tomassi. There is a lot of underpinnings of Red Pill concepts contained therein and in some of your past vids you've shown some misunderstandings of what the Red Pill actually is.
You should never take a girl back. Marriage is the only thing worth preserving. Beyond that its best to look elsewhere . There is always another woman. They are all replaceable.
Great video and better the most! Thanks for sharing your personal experience as well. Lots of great tips and suggestions to help make the right decisions. Appreciate it!
If she left me it’s her loss. On to the next one!
Never go back to an ex regardless of the situation. If she left you, she's looking for someone better. If she goes back to you, she settled for you because she had no other options. The only time you should take an ex back is if it's your ex wife and you guys have kids, only if she didn't cheat on you.
So you shouldn't give your ex another chance even if you are the one who messed up??
@@death24314 nah if you messed up it’s ok. But if she was at fault and broke up with you fuck that
Not always. Sometimes the guy gets complacent and stops being the guy she fell in love with. They hold on until they can’t anymore and make the decision that’s best for themselves. Happened to me. When she met me I was at the top. Over time I hit a slump, got complacent and stopped being the guy she fell for. If you really want her back, the only thing you can do is go no contact, put the work into being that guy again, and then if she does reach out, show her that. She will only reach out if the memories of the highs of the relationship make her nostalgic, if when you were at your best you made her feel like no one ever has before, or since. If she doesn’t, yeah you fucked up and now you move on and try again and be better for the next woman. We all have fear we will never find a love as genuine and reciprocated as our best. Only thing we can do is be the best that we can and trust that the right one will show up when it’s time.
The truth is a hard pill to swallow.
You're such a beautiful soul Courtney Ryan. Your advice gives me peace of mind
I haven’t even watch the video yet, I just wanted to speak for the guys and say we are glad we have Courtney 🤘🏾
Another great video, learned all this the hard way this year but good to hear it from a woman's perspective too.
THANK YOU. LIKE THANK YOUUU FR, I was not having any knowledge which you gave rn. This helped alott pls keep helping us and doing the good thing for a good cause. Love you
8 years, two kids. I fucked up, I spent a good amount of time stuck in my head battling my demons and trauma and it always ended up with me being nasty to the people closest to me. I always loved and cared but I always let my past wound me instead of making me stronger. She said she started hating me. I did a complete 180 with my behaviors and attitude I'm a better father and better person for myself but I know how much she means to me. Things were going so great for a few weeks and now she says she just isn't happy that she loves me but isn't in love with me but also says that shes still here. I love this woman and family with all my heart and hate myself for my actions but am I just causing myself more pain trying to find her spark again?
This video has helped me SO MUCH
Thank you!
I think I will come back to re-watch this video every day
The guy I like is seeing someone new now
He does like me anymore cuz he said I was too intense
But we’re still good friends and talk every single day, yet he wouldn’t touch me or consider me anymore, said that even if he’s single again he wouldn’t consider me
But we’re still good friends and talk every day as he still wants to be friends
So I just hope I can have him back again one day
Knowing his bf sleeps with him, stays over most nights, now makes me wanna cry every time
She got forced marriage last month. And she managed to escape and is in another country now. She told me she's fine. And she might not love me again. Cause of the trauma. She's distance now and never to trust love again. I feel so hopeless. So I gave her time.
Interesting video. I never take "the traitors/deserters" back, because thats what they are.
Perfect word to describe them.
I listen to most of your videos this one in particular a person like you needs to be pretty smart in the advice and you do very well in this. I will say that I think you're 97% right most of the time and it is good that you're giving men good solid practical advice.
Amazing tips and definitely you are totally right. I love how you encourage to find respect and love in ourselves so we can be not only better but happy. Thank you 🙏
Good point, JL; learn from what happened and move on. Your next relationship will be that much better. Courtney has good information to share with the demographic she attracts. I'm older than Courtney, but I still have things to learn. If we stop learning, we stop growing. If we stop growing? I wouldn't want to be around someone who isn't learning something throughout their life.
I, unfortunately, am surrounded by racketeers who know everything and degrade those who aren't in their Mob. Courtney said that insecure people tend to find everything wrong with someone else, and that's my situation. However, knowing what narcissists want, I don't give them what they want, and they cannot control me. Lack of control will lead to bad things happening to me sooner or later.
Regards
Okay so the only way you should want to get back with somebody that dumped you is because YOU screwed up. If they're willing to take you back it's going to be because they have seen you've grown as a person. Words mean nothing here without action and you have to show them that you recognize what you did wrong and the steps you are going to take to prevent the same thing from happening in the future. The most important thing is to make sure that they understand that you've changed whether they take you back or not.
Never go back to a someone that dumped you, ever. Keep your dignity. If you messed up, realize she's justified in leaving you. If you didn't mess up, realize you're better off with her leaving. Either way, if you're not the one that left, don't chase the other person. Let it go, move on. Remember, no means no. Get the hint and move on.
Thank you for this video. I learned a couple of things. I especially liked your admission in the last minute of your video. You are human, it's ok. Now you know more & hence you are wiser.
Don't know how to get back in touch with someone i was talking to on a dating app but my parents made me get rid of the app without telling her that I had to get rid of the app because they don't want me on dating apps I typed my phone number on the app but I don't know if she saved it
My current situation reaffirmed,great content thanks!
Absolutely not,the future is bright...
Her loss:)
Let's all pause and laugh at the boom box scenario 😂😂😂...thanks for cheering me up😂
I REFUSE TO MOVE ON!!! I WILL GET HER BACK!!! PERIOD!!! MY VICTORIA!!! WE BELONG TOGETHER!!! SCREW WORKING ON YOURSELF!!! IM GONNA WORK ON HER AND GETTING HER TO LOVE ME AGAIN!!! NO LETTING GO!!! NO HOLDING BACK!!!
What a warrior
How’d that work out?
Good luck man
Honestly this is such amazing advice thank you
Its okay to get with someone who still has some feelings left in them for you!
But its not wise decision to get back a narcissist ex back, pretty sure she gonna make your life hell again
Please help: I have a coworker that I haven't been able to talk with, but worked near for 4 months, and when I first noticed her, I thought she was too young. I asked another coworker about her and he said she is 30 next month and single. I tried approaching her several times but she is a very good worker and we barely have time to say hi to each other. Our jobs are demanding. I observed her interactions with others and she is friends with three of my friends. She is very nice, very smart, very strong and very very pretty. I noticed that she started to appear nervous when around me and she looks me in the eyes with full attention when I am talking to others. It seems to me that she was crushing on me as much as I am crushing on her. I haven't felt this way about a woman since before she was born. I'm 54, and getting alot of discouragement from my family and friends, except the ones who know her but they don't want to get involved in case it doesn't work out with us. I feel that I have fallen in love with her, and I know she is attracted to me. But for the last 3 weeks, she has been avoiding me, which I understand since I started avoiding her for the previous 3 weeks because I have been thinking too much about how to win her over. She is everything I have ever wanted in a woman, and I want her in my life, but I don't know how to fix this situation since I have appeared both needy, indecisive and lacking courage. I don't have a problem being rejected, so be it, I haven't been with a woman since my last x-wife who I divorced in 2003, a long time without practice dating. We live in, and grew up in small communities, so much of the PUA techniques appear disingenuous. What can I do? I am grateful for any interaction with her, even if I just see her walk by. Please help?
I noticed you got a tan. You look great Courtney! Love the advice!
10 years I can’t get over this 😢
2weeks before our 10th aniversary my wife left me too. Walkawayed. Im trying to save it.
Thanks for this hard yet helpful advice.
I'm order for someone to miss you, you have to let them miss you. We only think of things that aren't in front of us.
In this video it was mentioned that you should be always honest. Currently I was meeting with a girl and I was 100% honest with her all the time, but one time she got offended by one of my replies. Her answer started with "Forget it...", so it's kind of sure she got offended. I tried to ask why she was offended, because for me it was not clear for me, but got no answer. Few days later I tried to ask again and got an answer that she have no issues. I asked if she did not even had an issue and got the answer that no, which is clearly not true. Actually this and some other answers made me so upset that I kind of burned everything behind me, but for the future I would be interested if you should not take such answers seriously (even if it's a lie), because for me that answer meant that I am not even being respected to get an honest answer.
begging your cheating EX to take you back is so funny 😂😂 that why I like your videos.............very honest and humble!! Life is not about miss up, it’s about “PICKING YOURSELF BACK UP!!!!
Hahaha I always try to be honest! None of us are perfect and we all do things we look back and cringe at! 😂 thank you!!
When it comes to being honest and intentional, if she said she is not dating “right now” given the amount of changes going on in her life and implied that she was leaving the door open for the future. Should I be honest and tell her that I am willing to wait if she was in fact leaving the door open for something in the future?
No Guys, Never go back with an Ex. Most of the Time it will not work and is just a waste of Time. Learn from it and move on. Delete immediately all her Contacts after the breakup. That's my Advice.
What about when you work on yourself but she can't see you improving, because of distance and lack of contact?
True love never dies
Love your videos !!!! Your voice is awesome. ❤
Really needed this, thanks Sis.
This is great information, thanks very much for sharing!
Thanks Courtney you are right. I'm going through right now and I'm going to give her the space and not contact her anymore
I need to move on. Why its so hard. She cheated on me and still I want her back. Guess it's my own insecurity, I never was insecure, breakups are hard. Bin three months living like a zombie. Still, hit the gym 4 times a week, quit smoking for a month now and seeing a therapist...waiting for the sun the shine.