Remember when the narc would go on and on and on about themselves, or only want to talk about their day, their job, and the minute you try to add to the conversation they sit in boredom until you've finished what you had to say then they get mad that you interrupted them? I can't believe how much I dealt with being ignored at times and practically invisible. I realized..they talk AT YOU, not TO YOU.
Thank you Andrew, this video is so spot on! My healing journey began 11 months ago when I realized this is what I was dealing with. This month on our 19th anniversary, he said he was looking forward to the next 19 years with me…and because we had been doing better for little while, I thought maybe. Only 6 days later, after repeatedly trying to bait me into an argument to which I refused and remained calm, he suddenly packed up all his clothes and left at night, driving nearly 2000 miles to live and be near his extended family! I was reeling at how he overreacted and was feeling sad and abandoned (probably due to trauma bonds) and the shock of him doing such a drastic thing so impulsively. But those feelings were short-lived as all these videos just help to remind me of the living hell he’s put me through, and I realize now his leaving has set me FREE! I’m thinking I just wasn’t good supply anymore in my healed state and he didn’t know what else to do. I now have it settled in my mind that he will always be toxic, he doesn’t want to get better, and that a healthy relationship with him will never be possible. One of the last things he did before he left was to poke me repeatedly in the chest with his finger while raging at me, trying to get me to react. It caught me off guard and I ALMOST did, but in a split second decision I calmly asked, “Why would you do that to me”? NEVER EVER AGAIN. It’s been less than a week since he left, but I have my head back on track. The divorce papers are filled out and I will file them tomorrow…no looking back. In my healing journey I discovered Biofield Tuning which has healed me from complex-ptsd and is helping me to get me back…I highly recommend it for anyone and everyone. I have learned not to take his behavior personally…it has nothing to do with me. They are incapable of love and use whoever they can to give them their fix. Their unhealed trauma will follow them wherever they go, and I feel sorry for the next unsuspecting victims. We are all worthy of being treated with kindness, love, respect, and value, and we teach people how to treat us by what we allow. I didn’t realize to what extent my boundaries had slipped until that night. Staying in an abusive relationship with a narcissist will NEVER get better.
Sometimes you have to block people online, I block narcissists, trolls and bullies. There are lots of people on this earth, and always new opportunities to find genuine people. Thank you, namaste
As soon as I said I do. She said not anymore! I was brain washed for years. Narcissists are filthy creatures. 🤮 walked away over 4 years ago! Getting better every day little by little! Looking forward to my true self 😁 Thank you, Andrew!!
It’s validating to hear you call them weak, cowardly bullies. He definitely thinks he’s better than me (and everyone) and it hurts. We eventually start to believe this about ourselves. Thanks for including the truth of it ✌🏼
Hi Andrew . Brilliant video! Yes your so right . They want you for money , your looks , roof over their head and contacts you have . Especially music industry. But when you've had fame yourself . I was always strong and become weak over the years from.the abuse and game playing . It worn me down until I ended up with Cancer. I fought the Cancer and then become stronger ! So it made me relize too drop the Narc ! When he wanted a roof over his head I said NO ! He then got narc rage and moved on . So everyone watching Andrew you can find the strength too beat the narc ! Be strong . Thank u our lovely Andrew And stop the Scam who every you are . I will not text you !
My ex husband..do as I say and you'll be fine, be quiet, no one is interested in hearing what you have to say, you don't know how to get what you want from me, dont follow me at the party, give me your check, stay in a job even if you dont like it...rules and control.
Many channels on narcissism, but Andrew combines the narc with insight, wisdom and clarity. I’m sharing this video with a friend today. With Andrews help and us spreading the word, perhaps we can help people find answers for their lives sooner rather than later. Imagine the impact you might have ❤️🙏
"We're doing fine." I said this a lot. In my mind I knew things were not right, but on the outside I felt I had to keep the illusion of a happy balanced family. I felt as though if everything fell apart people would be ashamed and blame me. In another breath I truly felt that this was normal, because I had be manipulated into believing so. Love makes you do anything for the one you love, even if it is at your expense. I couldn't fathom they didn't love me, because I just can't go to that place being who I am. Now I know different. It's been 7 years and several narcissistic relationships later, and I am still learning about myself and about the tactics used to hypnotize me. They are here, and Andrew, you know they are for a reason. So am I. Thank you for your daily contribution and hope💖
A friend asked me in the presence of my husband at the time, "Are you happy, Holly?" I saw my narcissistic husband looking at me. I answered "I'm perfectly happy." I couldn't believe these words came out of my mouth! I wanted to say I'm so unhappy in my marriage with all the abuse going on. Thankfully I'm divorced now.
@@hollylorn131 I think that what society expects has such an impact as well. No doubt they are there and monitor to make sure you are compliant. I think that is such a good question for a private affair. It would give you the opportunity to really feel you can be you, and say what you may have wanted to say for the longest time. It took me 8 years to finally get time alone with a friend. He called angrily yelling at me and she took my phone and told him to never ever speak to me again that way. After it's like the flood gates opened, and I released all the pain and she cried with me. It took only two months from that point for us to be separated. He could not handle that I finally had someone on my side and someone who knew besides his mother who was perfectly ok with him abusing me. It takes courage, strength, and endurance to deal on our own with the things we delt with, but so much more to stand up and say no more no matter what people say and think. If they are your true friends, they will be on your side, and go through the raw emotions with you. You are strong, and you can do anything if you can survive your abuser!🤗✨❤️
@@io5246 Thank you for your reply. I'm happy for you that you were able to get to see your friend after 8 years and share all that happened with you being in the narc relationship. It's great that your friend stood up to your ex the way she did. I'm glad that you were able to be separated two months afterwards. You sound very strong and determined to make a beautiful life for yourself! We have all survived a lot with a narcissistic marriage and we're definitely more resilient than we know! Very sorry to hear all that you went through. I hope the rest of your life is the best part of your life! 🙏 ❤️
@@hollylorn131 I'm still learning, and feeling, and reeling. It can be so difficult, but I know that my God made in me a resilient being, and I am being prepared for what is to come. It's all the little things, and knowing when to not be ok, I always know it's alright. We are a little lost at times. Keeping faith, and holding onto the wonderful things. They shine so bright. It's ok to cry sometimes. It's alright🥲 much love to you on your journey 💖
My way of thinking has changed for sure so I’m not sure we can ever be the person that we were. I have accepted this and I think that is part of healing.
He began to despise and shame me for the very virtues that drew him to me. I was outgoing and he liked that until we got married. He devalued me the day we got home from our honeymoon and slammed the door in my face because I disagreed with him on a minor issue. Your videos are so good, Andrew. 💙
Tracey, the ex narc started the devaluation stage right after the honeymoon in my case too. I was also despised for the nice qualities he loved when he first met me. Thank you for your comment. I fully understand what you're saying. 🙏 🦋
They start in pretty fast devaluing us! My ex did the cycle over and over! He didn’t want to lose me until it was clear I was done with his abuse! Then he found another supply to trick and left! I was relieved. That supply turned on him and stole all his money and left him broke and threw him out saying he was too boring! Karma!
We were together for a very short time when he started chipping away at me about my appearance, my clothes, hair, not allowed to wear makeup, complained about my cooking, housework, how much I ate, etc., etc., etc. I was forced into being invisible. Everything I was allowed to do, was decided by him. I was a shell of myself while I was with him. I was unhappy, miserable really. I am thankful I was able to escape with my life. He would become enraged and violent for any reason...just being there, alive and breathing, and within reach. Thank God for Andrew and his teachings. Anxiety is a warning message...it is telling you to stear clear, get away, run...do whatever it takes to break free, and protect yourself...rediscover yourself. Healing isn't easy, but I am worth the effort.
Absolutely _not_ , I could _never_ be myself. I was in the beginning, but I noticed over time he snuffed out my flame, so to speak… the essence of _me_ . I began to sink into a deep dark depression. My joy was _gone_ for the duration of our relationship. When it ended and I came _here_ , I got my _authentic_ personality _back_ . I’ve honestly _never_ been happier!!! EXCELLENT video, Andrew! Hope you’re staying safe and enjoying the journey to your new home! Been thinking about you! We’re ALL praying for you to get there safely and soon! Have a WONDERFUL evening, handsome! Love you! XOXOXO 😘💋🥰🙌💜☀️🥳🙏👋😁😉☺️🫠🤗🙏🫶✈️🚗🚂🛵🏡🌆🛣🎑❤ My friends, I hope you all enjoyed your day, and that you have a WONDERFUL evening/ night as well! Thank you all SO MUCH for your well wishes for my cat today… it means _the world_ to me!!! Love y’all!!! 🥰💜🙌☀️😁🙏🤗❤
As the Ring was on my finger, I had to give,give and give. No Puppies and rainbows anymore. He discarded me,as the in his eyes better supply is in place. Now I'm here learning,putting myself together again. The hardest thing is that I'm so isolated. His campaign works.
Andrew I could never be myself ! I forget who myself was back then ! I'm free now for sure but still trying to collect my better self. That narcissist life is not for anyone !! 🙏🙏🙏
being with a narcissist for 7 years I was on anxiety medication just so I could go to sleep at night and sleep at least 3 or 4 hours he wanted me to get more he wanted me to up my dose because I was crazy when I got away from this and I finally shut that door and I went no contact I am on no anxiety medication and when I sleep I sleep all night long I wake up refreshed happy looking forward to a new day. but no one can do this unless they go no contact and stick to it that rabbit hole goes very very deep if you allow it
In a word, NO, I could never be myself ... and if I tried to be I was routinely belittled, mocked and insulted. And yet when I accomplished something noteworthy, such as a promotion at work, HE would share the good news with friends and family BEFORE I had a chance to open my mouth ... BUT, when we were by ourselves he'd totally minimize the accomplishment. In retrospect I realize how genuinely demonic he was; I was dancing with the devil. The best decision of my life was finally divorcing him.
Hey Andrew. Hey gang. I've been busy living lately. Enjoying the rain - not. But I got some fishing in between downpours today. I am out there being myself again. When I left the last place I had people going out of their way to wish me well in my travels. I was never allowed to be myself with that person.I wouldn't have been given the chance to meet new people. It was like I was being trained to be isolated and a yes man. I couldn't interact with people, and I am naturally a people person. Nope, I could not be who I previously was before I met the narcissist. Coming up on six months away and I'm starting to be myself again. I never lived in a travel trailer before. But it's who I am. Freedom.
Hello Andrew. I wasn't able to be myself throughout that fake relationship. She was highly covert, the silent treatment would cause me to react in many stupid ways, including dropping all my hobbies and friends without her speaking a word. It must've been amusing for her to watch me scramble. How exausting it was, and Because of the silence and invalidation along with projecting" nothing is ever good enough for you" I was played like a fool. I did receive an odd package on my porch almost a year later, still don't know who put it there. There is Joy in the process of rediscovering yourself! Some of the projects I've recently brought back into my life are exciting to me. Best wishes and prayers to everyone on the path ❤️
Sorry this is so off the wall but I couldn't help but wonder what was in the package!!! Curious minds........♡ But on the serious side I have been uplifted on your beautiful advancement of living.
Thank you Andrew! This video reminded me of a quote I came across today. I will share it 😊It helped me just like your video did! Blessings and peace to you🙏❤️ " I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation of the little things, my vivid inner life, my keen awareness to others pain and my passion for it all."
Oh course we can be ourself, once the narcissist is out of our life's. We can be all and more, once my ex left. I jumped back into a job, staying in church. Being the best I can be, everyone I know can see a big change in me. Don't allow another person bring ya down, for ya are so much better then that. Your beautiful inside and out, take your time to enjoy the freedom ya have now without the narcissist. God bless ya Andrew for making the video's and God bless everyone else. 👃😁
@@fancy357 If I didn't have my faith, I don't think I would be alive right now. My ex was explosive with his anger and would attack me. I had to pray hard to the Lord for help and the lord got me though it.
@@DonaHelms I am the exact same. I prayed so hard that he got me out of it. I literally said if you don't save me this time, I feel like I will die. God got me out and the courage to make the life saving phone call to my Mother.
@@fancy357 That's a god set gift, my ex just sold things out of our house to leave. I had to call the cops when he tried to come back the very next day and not seen him since. I think that's the best gift ever, I thank God ever day for it.
So true💯 bully, passive aggressive, oh and don't forget, they know everything, and their words, and ways, so they think, are the only that are correct. You can't be yourself around narcs, I don't want them to know me. God bless, Namaste, love you too, thank you🕊❤🌿🌱🌜🌠🎲
Myself, the real me, never deserved any of it. Two years ago I started wearing earplugs ( gift from Dad) while working around the house. Just not hearing the sigh's of disgust is lovely. The narc hates seeing me happy and missing out on making my night miserable.
Thank god I found your channel Andrew. Everything you say in almost every video is what I’m currently experiencing. I may need to visit Costa Rica and shake your hand
1000% Spot on🎯👌. Re Narcissistic neighbour just wants to destroy/spiteful. No can never just be yourself & also have experienced the not being able to ever be yourself with every narcissist.
I think one of the most powerful things you've said is to not rush into a relationship...I have had this happen to me with both men and women; it's flattering at first, but I've got my antenna out and I am more discerning now. As an empath and highly sensitive person, I attract these people...NEVER AGAIN!
I am a Highly Sensitive Person and an Empath too. I don’t like to use Empath anymore because so many narcissists are pretending now and calling themselves that. My psychologist said I was a highly sensitive person. We feel everything so strongly. It is like these Narcs see our bright light and try to put it out and steal our energy. Much love ❤️
@@rubyjet8614 yeah the women that kept saying she was an Empath was a Narcissist. And a witch. One of the worst I have ever known. I knew her briefly in grade 8 then she hit me up on Fakebook. And a woman I met in a Facebook Empath group. She was not an Empath either. She was messing with me big time. I had never heard of HSP until my psychologist said I was one in 2015. And it really resonates with me. Especially how I was as a child. I heard Alanis Morissette is one too. I haven’t listened to her music since 1998. I am going to look up her newer stuff and read her lyrics, I am interested in learning more about it now. ❤️
@@rubyjet8614 thank you. I am an INFJ too ❤️ I will try those. I got my Mother a Labrodite ring years ago. I will borrow it from her. Your English is great. Where are you from? I am in Canada 🍁
They gush about how great you are in every way… in the beginning. Once they know you’re attached to them, they chip away at your spirit, manage down your feelings, invalidate your reality, and suffocate your passion for anything you used to enjoy until you just feel empty.
It's as there was an unwritten contract, that he was afraid of what my natural response would be if he didn't hold up his end of the relationship, if he mistreated me, slept all day, left everything to me. I would feel neglected, I would want to abandon him, I would want answers; changes. And that was my fault, so it was up to me to prove myself, that I would still be this loving, heroic partner...saving him from his insecurities about not doing his part. And so I agreed on some level to ignore my own feelings, my own needs, my true being. My divine self I was put here to be 💞 Self-love...it has been that love most of all of which the narcissistic relationship has deprived me...🙏
I tried to be my authentic self. He didn’t like it but he didn’t like me. I was never respected or valued of course, as time went on I was drawn in! Being married to or involved with a narcissist is so unhealthy. Currently, I have become my authentic self. Love it. It’s so comforting Namaste. Have a wonderful evening 🌏❤️🙏🌈💫
Ah good video Andrew, ( it is well with my soul,) after all the roller coaster, I'm back to a better place and not walking on eggshells no more,,,, AMEN BROTHER
I tried to understand what attracted the narcissistic to me from the first place, and I got to the conclusion, that subconsciously I held belief (which I been fed up from childhood) who said something like: “people are exploitive”, or “people are not trust worthy”, and so on. My mother was always afraid, she always thought bad things about humanity, she always Warned my from people, she didn’t trust anybody (my father is also narcissists) and as a child I took this beliefs without questioning, and that’s why I attracted to my life narcissistic husband, and many other people that hurt me and exploited me, till the point I was able to understand that and changed my beliefs to: “There’s a lot good people”, “I’m attracting nice, genuine and kind people into my life” etc. being mindful raising my children, was very helpful changing the beliefs, and also meeting genuine and kind and novel people like you, through TH-cam, so thank a lot! ❤
Hi Andrew,been away separated from my narcissist husband since April 4 I have felt like I walked on eggshells for years and saw red flags looking back but didn,t know what it mean,t.Also couldn’t,t be myself.I am now homeless as he has the house in in his name and has turned my sons 20 and 18 against me.Telling them and everyone else I was a bad mother when in fact I am a good mother but he has told horrible lies that I didn,t want or love them.He also has my dog and the house and everything in it.The only thing I have is my freedom from him.
Good video Andrew. When I was in the narcissistic relationship I could never be myself if I ever started to feel happy or good about a situation the narcissist was always there to knock me down and make me feel like garbage. Anything I did on my own was always stupid or wrong. He could never see me happy. I look back and I know how toxic and evil he was and that he never loved me. There were good times but they were rare . And I think that is what kept me from leaving him sooner. But I was discarded, I think it was a blessing in disguise. I don't think he was expecting me to go no contact. Thanks everyone and stay strong.
I had a super busy day! Your right we could never be ourselves. This is so true!Andrew I’m so glad that we escaped a narcissist relationship, right! I value you for teaching awareness on the narcissist cycle. Andrew now we know that an empath with an empath make a great couple. I know that I will never be attracted to a narcissist. It will never happen again! Now I can see red flags 🚩 🚩 🚩 when others speak to me. Thank you for speaking truth! Your shining! You are beautiful inside and out. Take care of yourself.
Good evening Andrew We should always strive to be our authentic self, everone else is taken. Jokes aside negative ,fake people will change a sensitive soul don't let them great weekend all 😊❤🍁🍂🍃🏵🐞
Could you ever be yourself... Well, no. I trust no one and keep some distance even from my old close friends. I'm still kind to people and I really care for some of them, but I don't share any private thoughts or incidents anymore. Very nice video Andrew. Good night and sweet dreams everyone.
yep that was the definition of the marriage - Realized I left off with all the things I was studying once the narc showed up 100% Was devalued immediately- Realized I was discarded and was able to escape But yes, the discard took place and I had some sort of “trauma amnesia” as to the details All now clear The discard was way more brutal than leaving Absolutely exhausting to wade through these memories and summon them up Blocking anyone related to that time period All triggers And that allows me to be myself
I feel I had a very hamble heart and full of love to give, and share what have, alwayes think want this person to achieve high, and alwayes give support and make her feel loved, an important person in our family, I alwayes Lough and happy make the room light, and energetic, but I don't think it will come again, will this heart felt love and joy ful. Come again, thank you very much to make this video.
100% correct ! You notice that they have so many of these triggers, that you try to avoid just to have them. Then over time, you notice that they want you to be what they are, which is a chameleon but for them. He became like a miserable job that you put up with just to pay the bills but then you notice, they'll never be happy with anyone and everything becomes fools gold.
Listen to Pat Benatar's song Heartbreaker. It is the anthem for the Narcissist. "You're a Heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker" All they do is promise the world, but count on them to break your heart, kill your dreams, and take love out of the relationship. You are only in it to serve THEIR needs. Get out NOW. It is easy to SAY I love you, but WATCH how you are being loved, that says it all. ACTIONS do speak louder than words. WAKE UP and save yourself. These demons will suck all of the life out of you, and will then move on to their next victim. God has his agents on the earth, and so does Satan.
One of your very best Andrew! How I remember those yrs the suppression and emotional torture were catastrophic it made me ill emotionally and physically I seeked professional help till now I still go for maintenance! Years of depression denial you named it I made him looked good while I crumbled inside ! He wanted a trophy wife but I turned my life around took my chances and what a wakening he showed his immaturity and weakness also dependency
I really love your videos. They explain the situations so well, that only someone with experience could know. What i dont understand is how they have abandonment issues, but intentionally push people away. Just sick confused people.
They do that to see how much you are in pain (=love). Your pain is a prove for your love. They don’t feel love or don’t want to feel love cause this makes them weak in their eyes and they don’t want to feel vulnerable (because of their own negative experiences in their childhood) , but they want to be loved. That’s why they create drama after drama … (I have this information from a narc- so it’s information of first hand)
No you can never be the same before you met them. You cannot unsee what you went through or mend the scars that's now left there. Those scars are eroded into your deepest soul .
Bless and thankyou Andrew,these videos are amazingly helpful,insightful,comforting and supportive.i recently found your channel and I'm so glad I have.a light in the fog,which I'm headed rapidly towards.these videos help so much.love and gratitude to you and love to all on here 🙏❤
The irony? I was bullied TERRIBLY at school and my narc parent would always say “Don’t worry about fitting in, just be yourself” Which, coming from them? 🙄🙄🙄 The way I survived THEM was to never have an idea or opinion. I had NO IDEA who I was! How was I supposed to ‘be myself’ when I was nothing?! I think, if you were raised by one, this is probably a lifelong struggle.
The blocking game!!! OMG! My 59 year old man-toddler played that stupid game all the time. He became so predictable. Now that I think about it it’s comical. They just HAVE to be in control.
Nothing makes them angrier or trickier than when they know you r avoiding them. I've blocked them and they turn up on my doorstep one as recently tried to hoover me after 15 year no contact by DM. I just have to greystone again at these times. It's the best reaction to them.
That title really spooked me! I don’t feel like my old happy go lucky unhurt self can ever be found again. I lost so much of myself to many evil narcissists in my career too that destroyed me! It’s hard to get myself back now. I am stronger against them now, but my self esteem is still in the dirt and I can’t trust people now. But you are inspiring me to get out of my shell. I feel protected by my boundary learning so far.
He walked out in July, a couple of weeks ago he wanted to come and take my cats? Why was he suddenly interested in my cats? He had told our neighbors he couldn't stand the cats. I'm moving out of where we live and I had let him know of this intention. (He walked out of our joint rental property in July, so I had to let him know of my intent to move out- no contact has not been possible for me just yet- and then he wanted my cats (I have four very beloved cats,). So I had to work quickly to get my cats all safely rehomed, (I was scared he'd just show up and take them- such is the level of fear I'm in re this n's unpredictable behaviors), which I was able to do within 24 hours (pretty amazing in and of itself). But I had to call off work to achieve this, it was a brand new job and they let me go. I feel like this n sabotages me at every turn. Every single week since he left it seems there's been something he's done that I've had to fix, counteract or had to deal with. I will feel relieved to be out of here and finally be able to go no contact.
Love how you say “ until they sunk their dirty fangs into you..” because they are vampires, out to ruin you- to destroy you and they never give their actions a single thought. There is no remorse.
That's the first time I realised I wasn't even being myself right at the off. Thanks Andrew that's true. We r not being fully ourselves at the love bomb stage. We r in a strange and alien situation even if we r enjoying it at the time. there is a sense of unreality behind it. 👏
I watched this TH-cam video "Learn to Safely Push Past Your Comfort Zone" by Dr. Henry Cloud and it was very helpful to me. I wanted to share this with everyone on the channel in case it would be something you're also interested in. Have a wonderful evening and weekend, everyone! 💕 🦋
@@hollylorn131 🥰🙏❤️ THANK YOU. Shed some tears tonight over one of them and knowing you’re praying is such a gift. The two of them are so beautiful in their hearts and souls. Hey, mid afternoon I so very much wanted to talk to you Holly about a question I had this morning / last night while looking at some things online in regard to Judaism. It’s kind of a big question 🙋♀️ and I hope it’s okay that I ask. How do you see the Holy Spirit in relation to God and creation etc?
@@gratefultobehere I prayed for you and your two friends today and I will pray for the three of you tomorrow. I'm sorry to hear you shed tears over one of your friends today. Tears can be a comfort though when we're going through a difficult time. How are all three of you doing today? I hope your dear friends will be improving. In Judaism, we have one G-d who is the Creator of the Universe, who created the Universe in six days and rested on the Sabbath, the seventh day. I understand in Christianity there is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. What is the Holy Spirit? In Judaism, G-d is our Father. Sending you much love Chelsea! 🙏 ❤️ 🤗 🙏
@@gratefultobehere With your friend who has pneumonia, is she getting tapping done on her back by Respiratory staff to loosen the congestion in the lungs and nebulizer treatments every day? Also vitamin C 1000 or 2000 mg. is very helpful. My mother had serious pneumonia a few times and I made sure the hospital staff did these things for her. Just wanted to mention these things that helped my mother to get better from pneumonia. Maybe these things could help your friend too. Vitamin D3 is also protective against respiratory viruses and pneumonia when the D3 level is up to 55 according to Dr. John Campbell on his TH-cam channel and according to my own doctor too. I hope your best friend feels better. ❤️🙏 🤲
yes you can. but first you have to go absolutely no contact with the ex narc. I'm a empath and love nature. I'm able to do everything I use to do once leaving the toxicity
🙋ANDREW 💫, FROM BEAUTIFUL COSTA RICA , 💐 ANGEL 👼 SENDING 💞 YOU SOME LOVE....,🤗 HUGS, & WISHES ...of SHWEETDREAMS😴 PRAYERS OF HEALING ,💔💝 HAPPINESS & REAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.NAMASTE MA Y OUR GUARDIAN ANGELS PROTECT YOUR EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY !🙃😍 A LIFE OF PEACE ,COMEDY &
Thank you Andrew so true so glad to be getting my self back. My individuality my uniqueness my serenity my power my happiness my uniqueness my clothing style my freedom freedom of expression beauty loveliness all that feeling free feeling loved feeling excited about life and it’s wonderful thank you so much for this video 🙂🙏💌👍🌈😀✨no more ⛓⛓⛓⛓chains.
You are property of the narcissist so you can only be yourself with permission of your master the soul vampire. Thank you Andrew for all your insight 😊 nameste
I always contribute to animal welfare but while living with the narcicists (both, my mom and ex) I could not dedicate myself to this mission the way I wanted. Animal welfare is a heavy cross to carry, and the narcs already had me carry a heavy cross. Not only the target victim losses.
Every bit of what you say is SO true! Also, I found whatever you give it is not enough and never is. When you give a little, even after you have not had contact in a while, it isnt long at all before they want more. And already have it planned out at times. Seemingly unbelievable, but really true. And it doesn't matter if you only have a little they want that too, because now you need to work for more. You have to hold tight to your boundaries and what you say because you will get run over and tested time after time. If they do not like it you get the silent treatment for awhile. but they are ready for you again when you talk. They just wanted their way. Drain, then more drain. If you are good to them and think things are better then you get devalued again, and again. Just doesn't stop. Harsh words get worse also at times, so you feel bad about yourself which you shouldn't because you called it for what it is. Abuse. A good time for no contact if possible. The lesser time you spend with them you start to feel better after a period of grieving so to say because it is somewhat like going through a death only no one has passed away. But a day of that can upset the cart for about a week till you start to feel better and feel like you are ok. Then starts over. The times between get shorter because that is the cycle you are in. The only way to stop is to remove yourself somewhere in that cycle. You have to realize it first. It is so hard to do, especially when you have a couple days or so to refresh yourself. Thank you Andrew for being you, your valuable information and your sincere caring. You help so many. May God bless you richly!
When you said "They just wanted their way", you hit the nail on it's head. Stubbornness can be good or bad. Covert narcs are extremely stubborn in a bad way because they will destroy anything or anyone in their way to get what they want. It's where they feel powerful. I ALSO am extremely stubborn in that I will not tow their line, but you know by now that doesn't solve anything. But I will NOT allow myself to be treated in a way I wouldn't treat someone else as. Ever read the Deseterata? Hope I spelled it correctly. You can find many versions on TH-cam. It's great to listen to.
@@tmo.48 Thank you for your reply. I havent heard of Desiderata but have looked it up online and I will read and listen to it. It is on Wikipedia too I see. I looked how to spell it. Thank you very much! 🙂
" Could you ever be yourself?" Yes absolutely, as one has been given the privilege to grow beyond that illusion in the past. Because the illusion was in the mind of the writer....not the Puddle. But affirmation has allowed for growth, healing and grace in ways never imagined. Authenticity is ownership of one's genuine quality. " every storm indeed has a ray of sunshine beyond the rainbow "
Spot on!!
💯💯😉
Remember when the narc would go on and on and on about themselves, or only want to talk about their day, their job, and the minute you try to add to the conversation they sit in boredom until you've finished what you had to say then they get mad that you interrupted them? I can't believe how much I dealt with being ignored at times and practically invisible. I realized..they talk AT YOU, not TO YOU.
That is exactly right...invisible and talked at, not to you.
Yes this is exactly how my narc sister was to the t.
This is so sad and exactly my marriage. I hope & pray you are doing well along the healing path ❤️🙏🏻🕊️👣
Yes 💯 on point as usual Andrew!!! Thank you so much!!
My pleasure!!🙏😊🙌
Andrew, you are just amazing. Not only do you have a gift, you ARE a gift.
Thank you 🙏❤️
Thank you Andrew, this video is so spot on! My healing journey began 11 months ago when I realized this is what I was dealing with. This month on our 19th anniversary, he said he was looking forward to the next 19 years with me…and because we had been doing better for little while, I thought maybe. Only 6 days later, after repeatedly trying to bait me into an argument to which I refused and remained calm, he suddenly packed up all his clothes and left at night, driving nearly 2000 miles to live and be near his extended family!
I was reeling at how he overreacted and was feeling sad and abandoned (probably due to trauma bonds) and the shock of him doing such a drastic thing so impulsively. But those feelings were short-lived as all these videos just help to remind me of the living hell he’s put me through, and I realize now his leaving has set me FREE! I’m
thinking I just wasn’t good supply anymore in my healed state and he didn’t know what else to do.
I now have it settled in my mind that he will always be toxic, he doesn’t want to get better, and that a healthy relationship with him will never be possible.
One of the last things he did before he left was to poke me repeatedly in the chest with his finger while raging at me, trying to get me to react. It caught me off guard and I ALMOST did, but in a split second decision I calmly asked, “Why would you do that to me”?
NEVER EVER AGAIN.
It’s been less than a week since he left, but I have my head back on track. The divorce papers are filled out and I will file them tomorrow…no looking back.
In my healing journey I discovered Biofield Tuning which has healed me from complex-ptsd and is helping me to get me back…I highly recommend it for anyone and everyone.
I have learned not to take his behavior personally…it has nothing to do with me. They are incapable of love and use whoever they can to give them their fix. Their unhealed trauma will follow them wherever they go, and I feel sorry for the next unsuspecting victims.
We are all worthy of being treated with kindness, love, respect, and value, and we teach people how to treat us by what we allow. I didn’t realize to what extent my boundaries had slipped until that night. Staying in an abusive relationship with a narcissist will NEVER get better.
Yes, the power is in the now. Thank you Andrew
Welcome 🙏
ABSOLUTELY!...I did all the work,..he took all the glory.
😉💯
Sometimes you have to block people online, I block narcissists, trolls and bullies. There are lots of people on this earth, and always new opportunities to find genuine people. Thank you, namaste
Namaste 🙏
As soon as I said I do. She said not anymore! I was brain washed for years. Narcissists are filthy creatures. 🤮 walked away over 4 years ago! Getting better every day little by little! Looking forward to my true self 😁 Thank you, Andrew!!
It’s validating to hear you call them weak, cowardly bullies. He definitely thinks he’s better than me (and everyone) and it hurts.
We eventually start to believe this about ourselves. Thanks for including the truth of it ✌🏼
Hi Andrew . Brilliant video!
Yes your so right . They want you for money , your looks , roof over their head and contacts you have .
Especially music industry.
But when you've had fame yourself .
I was always strong and become weak over the years from.the abuse and game playing . It worn me down until I ended up with Cancer.
I fought the Cancer and then become stronger !
So it made me relize too drop the Narc !
When he wanted a roof over his head I said NO !
He then got narc rage and moved on .
So everyone watching Andrew you can find the strength too beat the narc !
Be strong .
Thank u our lovely Andrew
And stop the Scam who every you are . I will not text you !
"You're just supposed to obey, you're just supposed to do what I tell you to do. No negotiation, no discussion," my step-father, my entire life.
Your life begins when it's YOU that shows up.
My ex husband..do as I say and you'll be fine, be quiet, no one is interested in hearing what you have to say, you don't know how to get what you want from me, dont follow me at the party, give me your check, stay in a job even if you dont like it...rules and control.
@@tmo.48 Thank you
You grew up,like I do.
@@Mariposa62196 Find a support group. Come up with a plan and leave. They only get worse with age.
Sending virtual hugs to you brother and to others in the community 🌺
God bless 🙏
Luv y'all 💕
🙏🙌☀️
Many channels on narcissism, but Andrew combines the narc with insight, wisdom and clarity. I’m sharing this video with a friend today. With Andrews help and us spreading the word, perhaps we can help people find answers for their lives sooner rather than later. Imagine the impact you might have ❤️🙏
Thank you for sharing 🙏🙌☀️
Yes I agree, thank you.
Thank you, Andrew! You are so well prepared, to be able to talk sense from the beginning to the end. You help many people and you are appreciated!
"We're doing fine." I said this a lot. In my mind I knew things were not right, but on the outside I felt I had to keep the illusion of a happy balanced family. I felt as though if everything fell apart people would be ashamed and blame me. In another breath I truly felt that this was normal, because I had be manipulated into believing so. Love makes you do anything for the one you love, even if it is at your expense. I couldn't fathom they didn't love me, because I just can't go to that place being who I am. Now I know different. It's been 7 years and several narcissistic relationships later, and I am still learning about myself and about the tactics used to hypnotize me. They are here, and Andrew, you know they are for a reason. So am I. Thank you for your daily contribution and hope💖
Welcome 🙏💯🙌
A friend asked me in the presence of my husband at the time, "Are you happy, Holly?" I saw my narcissistic husband looking at me. I answered "I'm perfectly happy." I couldn't believe these words came out of my mouth! I wanted to say I'm so unhappy in my marriage with all the abuse going on. Thankfully I'm divorced now.
@@hollylorn131 I think that what society expects has such an impact as well. No doubt they are there and monitor to make sure you are compliant. I think that is such a good question for a private affair. It would give you the opportunity to really feel you can be you, and say what you may have wanted to say for the longest time. It took me 8 years to finally get time alone with a friend. He called angrily yelling at me and she took my phone and told him to never ever speak to me again that way. After it's like the flood gates opened, and I released all the pain and she cried with me. It took only two months from that point for us to be separated. He could not handle that I finally had someone on my side and someone who knew besides his mother who was perfectly ok with him abusing me. It takes courage, strength, and endurance to deal on our own with the things we delt with, but so much more to stand up and say no more no matter what people say and think. If they are your true friends, they will be on your side, and go through the raw emotions with you. You are strong, and you can do anything if you can survive your abuser!🤗✨❤️
@@io5246 Thank you for your reply. I'm happy for you that you were able to get to see your friend after 8 years and share all that happened with you being in the narc relationship. It's great that your friend stood up to your ex the way she did. I'm glad that you were able to be separated two months afterwards. You sound very strong and determined to make a beautiful life for yourself! We have all survived a lot with a narcissistic marriage and we're definitely more resilient than we know! Very sorry to hear all that you went through. I hope the rest of your life is the best part of your life! 🙏 ❤️
@@hollylorn131 I'm still learning, and feeling, and reeling. It can be so difficult, but I know that my God made in me a resilient being, and I am being prepared for what is to come. It's all the little things, and knowing when to not be ok, I always know it's alright. We are a little lost at times. Keeping faith, and holding onto the wonderful things. They shine so bright. It's ok to cry sometimes. It's alright🥲 much love to you on your journey 💖
Thank you Andrew I always find your videos so calming and insightful
Welcome 🙏
My way of thinking has changed for sure so I’m not sure we can ever be the person that we were. I have accepted this and I think that is part of healing.
🙌💯🙏
He began to despise and shame me for the very virtues that drew him to me. I was outgoing and he liked that until we got married. He devalued me the day we got home from our honeymoon and slammed the door in my face because I disagreed with him on a minor issue.
Your videos are so good, Andrew. 💙
Tracey, the ex narc started the devaluation stage right after the honeymoon in my case too. I was also despised for the nice qualities he loved when he first met me. Thank you for your comment. I fully understand what you're saying. 🙏 🦋
They end up hating you for the things that drew them to you. Total lunacy
They start in pretty fast devaluing us! My ex did the cycle over and over! He didn’t want to lose me until it was clear I was done with his abuse! Then he found another supply to trick and left! I was relieved. That supply turned on him and stole all his money and left him broke and threw him out saying he was too boring! Karma!
Same here.
When we went on our honeymoon, the first thing he did in the hotel room was to watch television.
We were together for a very short time when he started chipping away at me about my appearance, my clothes, hair, not allowed to wear makeup, complained about my cooking, housework, how much I ate, etc., etc., etc. I was forced into being invisible. Everything I was allowed to do, was decided by him. I was a shell of myself while I was with him. I was unhappy, miserable really. I am thankful I was able to escape with my life. He would become enraged and violent for any reason...just being there, alive and breathing, and within reach. Thank God for Andrew and his teachings. Anxiety is a warning message...it is telling you to stear clear, get away, run...do whatever it takes to break free, and protect yourself...rediscover yourself. Healing isn't easy, but I am worth the effort.
You nailed it. Even my friends could see I couldn’t be myself around him!
And they are certainly a coward and a bully!
Absolutely _not_ , I could _never_ be myself. I was in the beginning, but I noticed over time he snuffed out my flame, so to speak… the essence of _me_ . I began to sink into a deep dark depression. My joy was _gone_ for the duration of our relationship. When it ended and I came _here_ , I got my _authentic_ personality _back_ . I’ve honestly _never_ been happier!!! EXCELLENT video, Andrew! Hope you’re staying safe and enjoying the journey to your new home! Been thinking about you! We’re ALL praying for you to get there safely and soon! Have a WONDERFUL evening, handsome! Love you! XOXOXO 😘💋🥰🙌💜☀️🥳🙏👋😁😉☺️🫠🤗🙏🫶✈️🚗🚂🛵🏡🌆🛣🎑❤
My friends, I hope you all enjoyed your day, and that you have a WONDERFUL evening/ night as well! Thank you all SO MUCH for your well wishes for my cat today… it means _the world_ to me!!! Love y’all!!! 🥰💜🙌☀️😁🙏🤗❤
Sorry for the abuse you suffered. I have been at the same position. God bless you. Andrew is extremely important to us
May all of your days be blessed as well! It's wonderful that you've come this far. Continue to be blessed!
@@carolynholcomb8105 Thank you, Carolyn 🙏🙏🙏😊 God bless you too!
@@shaeholden1743 Thank you Shae 🙏🙏🙏😊 may you be blessed as well!!!
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 you are so special. Thank you for all that you do to care for the kitties. 💕
As the Ring was on my finger, I had to give,give and give. No Puppies and rainbows anymore. He discarded me,as the in his eyes better supply is in place. Now I'm here learning,putting myself together again. The hardest thing is that I'm so isolated. His campaign works.
Sending healing energy 🙏🙌💯
I Love this Channel! Thanks!
Thank u Andrew, Right on!
😉🙌💯
Andrew I could never be myself ! I forget who myself was back then ! I'm free now for sure but still trying to collect my better self. That narcissist life is not for anyone !! 🙏🙏🙏
🙏🙌💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 😊😊💯🙏
❤❤❤ *LOVE* this quote “ _Choose someone who makes you forget your heart was ever broken. -Unknown_ “ 🥰🥰🥰
❤️🙏
Amen to that quote!! 👃😁
If only🙏❤️
Beautiful!!
being with a narcissist for 7 years I was on anxiety medication just so I could go to sleep at night and sleep at least 3 or 4 hours he wanted me to get more he wanted me to up my dose because I was crazy when I got away from this and I finally shut that door and I went no contact I am on no anxiety medication and when I sleep I sleep all night long I wake up refreshed happy looking forward to a new day. but no one can do this unless they go no contact and stick to it that rabbit hole goes very very deep if you allow it
Oh my goodness, Andrew! I just hit like and you went up another 1k likes, yay! Let's take our gains where we can x x x
💯🙌😊
Beautiful and very important message, thank you Andrew!
In a word, NO, I could never be myself ... and if I tried to be I was routinely belittled, mocked and insulted. And yet when I accomplished something noteworthy, such as a promotion at work, HE would share the good news with friends and family BEFORE I had a chance to open my mouth ... BUT, when we were by ourselves he'd totally minimize the accomplishment. In retrospect I realize how genuinely demonic he was; I was dancing with the devil. The best decision of my life was finally divorcing him.
Hey Andrew. Hey gang. I've been busy living lately. Enjoying the rain - not. But I got some fishing in between downpours today. I am out there being myself again. When I left the last place I had people going out of their way to wish me well in my travels. I was never allowed to be myself with that person.I wouldn't have been given the chance to meet new people. It was like I was being trained to be isolated and a yes man. I couldn't interact with people, and I am naturally a people person. Nope, I could not be who I previously was before I met the narcissist. Coming up on six months away and I'm starting to be myself again. I never lived in a travel trailer before. But it's who I am. Freedom.
Beautiful empowerment 🙏🙌🙌💪
Glad you are able to really enjoy your life your way now post narc relationship! That's a big victory!
Thanks again for the support . This is my problem , and I have to sort it out myself . Just keep the advice come in thanks again .
Thanks for this beautiful message! So empowering as always. It hurts bit it's true.
Welcome 🙏
Hello Andrew. I wasn't able to be myself throughout that fake relationship. She was highly covert, the silent treatment would cause me to react in many stupid ways, including dropping all my hobbies and friends without her speaking a word. It must've been amusing for her to watch me scramble. How exausting it was, and Because of the silence and invalidation along with projecting" nothing is ever good enough for you"
I was played like a fool. I did receive an odd package on my porch almost a year later, still don't know who put it there. There is Joy in the process of rediscovering yourself! Some of the projects I've recently brought back into my life are exciting to me. Best wishes and prayers to everyone on the path ❤️
Best wishes and prayers to you too!
🙏 🤲 ✨
Yep you are not only one, They are jealous and very competitive because it Hass to be all about them
Sorry this is so off the wall but I couldn't help but wonder what was in the package!!! Curious minds........♡ But on the serious side I have been uplifted on your beautiful advancement of living.
Thank you for sharing. It really is strange to recognize this behavior in hind site. Yes it gave us 20/20 vision. Best wishes to you brother.
@@tmo.48 a hoover was inside the package 😀
Thank you Andrew! This video reminded me of a quote I came across today. I will share it 😊It helped me just like your video did! Blessings and peace to you🙏❤️
" I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation of the little things, my vivid inner life, my keen awareness to others pain and my passion for it all."
Nice!
I like this quote! Sensitivity sure is a strength not a weakness. 💕 🙏 😊
@@hollylorn131 Absolutely!
Who said this quote?
@@emilywilson7308 So I really don't know for sure
Oh course we can be ourself, once the narcissist is out of our life's. We can be all and more, once my ex left. I jumped back into a job, staying in church. Being the best I can be, everyone I know can see a big change in me.
Don't allow another person bring ya down, for ya are so much better then that. Your beautiful inside and out, take your time to enjoy the freedom ya have now without the narcissist.
God bless ya Andrew for making the video's and God bless everyone else. 👃😁
Thank you 🙏🙌💯
God Bless you and thanks for sharing your faith😊🙏
@@fancy357 If I didn't have my faith, I don't think I would be alive right now. My ex was explosive with his anger and would attack me. I had to pray hard to the Lord for help and the lord got me though it.
@@DonaHelms I am the exact same. I prayed so hard that he got me out of it. I literally said if you don't save me this time, I feel like I will die. God got me out and the courage to make the life saving phone call to my Mother.
@@fancy357 That's a god set gift, my ex just sold things out of our house to leave. I had to call the cops when he tried to come back the very next day and not seen him since. I think that's the best gift ever, I thank God ever day for it.
ANOTHER FANTASTIC VLOG MANY MANY THANKS.
Welcome 🙏
So true💯 bully, passive aggressive, oh and don't forget, they know everything, and their words, and ways, so they think, are the only that are correct. You can't be yourself around narcs, I don't want them to know me. God bless, Namaste, love you too, thank you🕊❤🌿🌱🌜🌠🎲
Myself, the real me, never deserved any of it.
Two years ago I started wearing earplugs ( gift from Dad) while working around the house.
Just not hearing the sigh's of disgust is lovely. The narc hates seeing me happy and missing out on making my night miserable.
😉😉💯💪
Thank you Andrew. You are a great help to all of us!!! Namaste brother ☺️
Thank god I found your channel Andrew. Everything you say in almost every video is what I’m currently experiencing. I may need to visit Costa Rica and shake your hand
🙏🙌💯
Thanks Andy brilliant ❤🙏🙏🏴🏴
1000% Spot on🎯👌. Re Narcissistic neighbour just wants to destroy/spiteful. No can never just be yourself & also have experienced the not being able to ever be yourself with every narcissist.
I think one of the most powerful things you've said is to not rush into a relationship...I have had this happen to me with both men and women; it's flattering at first, but I've got my antenna out and I am more discerning now. As an empath and highly sensitive person, I attract these people...NEVER AGAIN!
💯💯💯
I am a Highly Sensitive Person and an Empath too. I don’t like to use Empath anymore because so many narcissists are pretending now and calling themselves that. My psychologist said I was a highly sensitive person. We feel everything so strongly. It is like these Narcs see our bright light and try to put it out and steal our energy. Much love ❤️
@@rubyjet8614 yeah the women that kept saying she was an Empath was a Narcissist. And a witch. One of the worst I have ever known. I knew her briefly in grade 8 then she hit me up on Fakebook. And a woman I met in a Facebook Empath group. She was not an Empath either. She was messing with me big time.
I had never heard of HSP until my psychologist said I was one in 2015. And it really resonates with me. Especially how I was as a child. I heard Alanis Morissette is one too. I haven’t listened to her music since 1998. I am going to look up her newer stuff and read her lyrics, I am interested in learning more about it now. ❤️
@@rubyjet8614 thank you. I am an INFJ too ❤️ I will try those. I got my Mother a Labrodite ring years ago. I will borrow it from her. Your English is great. Where are you from? I am in Canada 🍁
Very true I got men coming up to me asking me question about women so they can insnare and gaslight me
Good advice Andrew- eggshells of any kind = toxic. End of. Thanks!
They gush about how great you are in every way… in the beginning.
Once they know you’re attached to them, they chip away at your spirit, manage down your feelings, invalidate your reality, and suffocate your passion for anything you used to enjoy until you just feel empty.
So very true. My experience also.
@@beverlysmith6397 They’re predictable creatures once you begin to know how narcissists operate.
It's as there was an unwritten contract, that he was afraid of what my natural response would be if he didn't hold up his end of the relationship, if he mistreated me, slept all day, left everything to me. I would feel neglected, I would want to abandon him, I would want answers; changes. And that was my fault, so it was up to me to prove myself, that I would still be this loving, heroic partner...saving him from his insecurities about not doing his part. And so I agreed on some level to ignore my own feelings, my own needs, my true being. My divine self I was put here to be 💞 Self-love...it has been that love most of all of which the narcissistic relationship has deprived me...🙏
Thank you for sharing 💯🙌☀️
I tried to be my authentic self. He didn’t like it but he didn’t like me. I was never respected or valued of course, as time went on I was drawn in! Being married to or involved with a narcissist is so unhealthy.
Currently, I have become my authentic self. Love it. It’s so comforting
Namaste. Have a wonderful evening 🌏❤️🙏🌈💫
I appreciate each video. I’m very grateful to have this support. Thank you so much 🌸
Resonates greatly. Rich details in this important presentation. Freedom is beautiful.
🙏💯💯
Ah good video Andrew, ( it is well with my soul,) after all the roller coaster, I'm back to a better place and not walking on eggshells no more,,,, AMEN BROTHER
I tried to understand what attracted the narcissistic to me from the first place, and I got to the conclusion, that subconsciously I held belief (which I been fed up from childhood) who said something like: “people are exploitive”, or “people are not trust worthy”, and so on. My mother was always afraid, she always thought bad things about humanity, she always Warned my from people, she didn’t trust anybody (my father is also narcissists) and as a child I took this beliefs without questioning, and that’s why I attracted to my life narcissistic husband, and many other people that hurt me and exploited me, till the point I was able to understand that and changed my beliefs to: “There’s a lot good people”, “I’m attracting nice, genuine and kind people into my life” etc. being mindful raising my children, was very helpful changing the beliefs, and also meeting genuine and kind and novel people like you, through TH-cam, so thank a lot! ❤
Hi Andrew,been away separated from my narcissist husband since April 4 I have felt like I walked on eggshells for years and saw red flags looking back but didn,t know what it mean,t.Also couldn’t,t be myself.I am now homeless as he has the house in in his name and has turned my sons 20 and 18 against me.Telling them and everyone else I was a bad mother when in fact I am a good mother but he has told horrible lies that I didn,t want or love them.He also has my dog and the house and everything in it.The only thing I have is my freedom from him.
God bless you, Debbie!
Just left. 3 days ago. Free bird. And you are instrumental. My spirit thanks you
Good video Andrew. When I was in the narcissistic relationship I could never be myself if I ever started to feel happy or good about a situation the narcissist was always there to knock me down and make me feel like garbage. Anything I did on my own was always stupid or wrong. He could never see me happy. I look back and I know how toxic and evil he was and that he never loved me. There were good times but they were rare . And I think that is what kept me from leaving him sooner. But I was discarded, I think it was a blessing in disguise. I don't think he was expecting me to go no contact. Thanks everyone and stay strong.
Thank you 🙏🙌☀️
God bless you, Carlos!
Me too.
I had a super busy day! Your right we could never be ourselves. This is so true!Andrew I’m so glad that we escaped a narcissist relationship, right! I value you for teaching awareness on the narcissist cycle. Andrew now we know that an empath with an empath make a great couple. I know that I will never be attracted to a narcissist. It will never happen again! Now I can see red flags 🚩 🚩 🚩 when others speak to me. Thank you for speaking truth! Your shining! You are beautiful inside and out. Take care of yourself.
I agree with every single word and I have experienced it all! Thank you Andrew. God bless you.
What a great message! Thank you Andrew.🥇 sending love to all family/familiar here. I'm glad I came on here the comments are great.💙
Yea the radar is on and sharp very sharp to spot narcs and toxic people,
Good evening Andrew
We should always strive to be our authentic self, everone else is taken. Jokes aside negative ,fake people will change a sensitive soul don't let them great weekend all 😊❤🍁🍂🍃🏵🐞
"Everyone else is taken". So so true and great perspective ❤️
Protect your enegy..... Yes! Love it.
Nameste Andrew. You teach us very well, thank you 🤗
Could you ever be yourself... Well, no. I trust no one and keep some distance even from my old close friends. I'm still kind to people and I really care for some of them, but I don't share any private thoughts or incidents anymore.
Very nice video Andrew.
Good night and sweet dreams everyone.
Thank you 🙌🙏☀️
Exactly the blocking and sudden change in moods just out of the blue were insane..
yep that was the definition of the marriage -
Realized I left off with all the things I was studying once the narc showed up
100%
Was devalued immediately-
Realized I was discarded and was able to escape
But yes, the discard took place and I had some sort of “trauma amnesia” as to the details
All now clear
The discard was way more brutal than leaving
Absolutely exhausting to wade through these memories and summon them up
Blocking anyone related to that time period
All triggers
And that allows me to be myself
So true. This is a great video.
Thanks Andrew from Sunny Coata Rica. You're the best.
I feel I had a very hamble heart and full of love to give, and share what have, alwayes think want this person to achieve high, and alwayes give support and make her feel loved, an important person in our family, I alwayes Lough and happy make the room light, and energetic, but I don't think it will come again, will this heart felt love and joy ful. Come again, thank you very much to make this video.
Thank you.. very much my relationship... I never new anything about narcissist . I am still shocked at my way of putting up with this.
Topic is on point and perfectly timed. ♥️🙏♥️
Thank you 🙏🙌💯
Thank you
Welcome 🙌💯🙏
100% correct ! You notice that they have so many of these triggers, that you try to avoid just to have them. Then over time, you notice that they want you to be what they are, which is a chameleon but for them. He became like a miserable job that you put up with just to pay the bills but then you notice, they'll never be happy with anyone and everything becomes fools gold.
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I went out and had dinner with an old friend. He's like the male version of me. We laughed all night. Back to being me, felt great
😉🙌💯
Listen to Pat Benatar's song Heartbreaker. It is the anthem for the Narcissist.
"You're a Heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker" All they do is promise the world, but count on them to break your heart, kill your dreams, and take love out of the relationship. You are only in it to serve THEIR needs. Get out NOW. It is easy to SAY I love you, but WATCH how you are being loved, that says it all. ACTIONS do speak louder than words. WAKE UP and save yourself. These demons will suck all of the life out of you, and will then move on to their next victim. God has his agents on the earth, and so does Satan.
🙌🙏☀️💯
One of your very best Andrew! How I remember those yrs the suppression and emotional torture were catastrophic it made me ill emotionally and physically I seeked professional help till now I still go for maintenance! Years of depression denial you named it I made him looked good while I crumbled inside ! He wanted a trophy wife but I turned my life around took my chances and what a wakening he showed his immaturity and weakness also dependency
Thank you 🙏🙌☀️
I really love your videos. They explain the situations so well, that only someone with experience could know. What i dont understand is how they have abandonment issues, but intentionally push people away. Just sick confused people.
They do that to see how much you are in pain (=love). Your pain is a prove for your love. They don’t feel love or don’t want to feel love cause this makes them weak in their eyes and they don’t want to feel vulnerable (because of their own negative experiences in their childhood) , but they want to be loved. That’s why they create drama after drama … (I have this information from a narc- so it’s information of first hand)
@@loreley3126 thanks
I know one thing when I was with the narcissist I was an expectation not an experience
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No you can never be the same before you met them. You cannot unsee what you went through or mend the scars that's now left there. Those scars are eroded into your deepest soul .
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Namaste 🙏
Bless and thankyou Andrew,these videos are amazingly helpful,insightful,comforting and supportive.i recently found your channel and I'm so glad I have.a light in the fog,which I'm headed rapidly towards.these videos help so much.love and gratitude to you and love to all on here 🙏❤
We are the light in the fog.👍
The irony? I was bullied TERRIBLY at school and my narc parent would always say “Don’t worry about fitting in, just be yourself” Which, coming from them? 🙄🙄🙄 The way I survived THEM was to never have an idea or opinion. I had NO IDEA who I was! How was I supposed to ‘be myself’ when I was nothing?! I think, if you were raised by one, this is probably a lifelong struggle.
🙏🙌💯
The blocking game!!! OMG! My 59 year old man-toddler played that stupid game all the time. He became so predictable. Now that I think about it it’s comical. They just HAVE to be in control.
Nothing makes them angrier or trickier than when they know you r avoiding them. I've blocked them and they turn up on my doorstep one as recently tried to hoover me after 15 year no contact by DM. I just have to greystone again at these times. It's the best reaction to them.
That title really spooked me! I don’t feel like my old happy go lucky unhurt self can ever be found again.
I lost so much of myself to many evil narcissists in my career too that destroyed me! It’s hard to get myself back now. I am stronger against them now, but my self esteem is still in the dirt and I can’t trust people now. But you are inspiring me to get out of my shell. I feel protected by my boundary learning so far.
He walked out in July, a couple of weeks ago he wanted to come and take my cats? Why was he suddenly interested in my cats? He had told our neighbors he couldn't stand the cats. I'm moving out of where we live and I had let him know of this intention. (He walked out of our joint rental property in July, so I had to let him know of my intent to move out- no contact has not been possible for me just yet- and then he wanted my cats (I have four very beloved cats,). So I had to work quickly to get my cats all safely rehomed, (I was scared he'd just show up and take them- such is the level of fear I'm in re this n's unpredictable behaviors), which I was able to do within 24 hours (pretty amazing in and of itself). But I had to call off work to achieve this, it was a brand new job and they let me go. I feel like this n sabotages me at every turn. Every single week since he left it seems there's been something he's done that I've had to fix, counteract or had to deal with. I will feel relieved to be out of here and finally be able to go no contact.
Well said, thanks 😊
Love how you say “ until they sunk their dirty fangs into you..” because they are vampires, out to ruin you- to destroy you and they never give their actions a single thought. There is no remorse.
That's the first time I realised I wasn't even being myself right at the off. Thanks Andrew that's true. We r not being fully ourselves at the love bomb stage. We r in a strange and alien situation even if we r enjoying it at the time. there is a sense of unreality behind it. 👏
Need to hear this everyday
I watched this TH-cam video "Learn to Safely Push Past Your Comfort Zone" by Dr. Henry Cloud and it was very helpful to me. I wanted to share this with everyone on the channel in case it would be something you're also interested in.
Have a wonderful evening and weekend, everyone! 💕 🦋
❤
@@gratefultobehere Sending love and prayers to you and your two friends, Chelsea! 🙏 💕
@@hollylorn131 🥰🙏❤️ THANK YOU. Shed some tears tonight over one of them and knowing you’re praying is such a gift. The two of them are so beautiful in their hearts and souls.
Hey, mid afternoon I so very much wanted to talk to you Holly about a question I had this morning / last night while looking at some things online in regard to Judaism. It’s kind of a big question 🙋♀️ and I hope it’s okay that I ask. How do you see the Holy Spirit in relation to God and creation etc?
@@gratefultobehere I prayed for you and your two friends today and I will pray for the three of you tomorrow. I'm sorry to hear you shed tears over one of your friends today. Tears can be a comfort though when we're going through a difficult time. How are all three of you doing today? I hope your dear friends will be improving.
In Judaism, we have one G-d who is the Creator of the Universe, who created the Universe in six days and rested on the Sabbath, the seventh day. I understand in Christianity there is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. What is the Holy Spirit? In Judaism, G-d is our Father.
Sending you much love Chelsea!
🙏 ❤️ 🤗 🙏
@@gratefultobehere With your friend who has pneumonia, is she getting tapping done on her back by Respiratory staff to loosen the congestion in the lungs and nebulizer treatments every day? Also vitamin C 1000 or 2000 mg. is very helpful. My mother had serious pneumonia a few times and I made sure the hospital staff did these things for her. Just wanted to mention these things that helped my mother to get better from pneumonia. Maybe these things could help your friend too. Vitamin D3 is also protective against respiratory viruses and pneumonia when the D3 level is up to 55 according to Dr. John Campbell on his TH-cam channel and according to my own doctor too. I hope your best friend feels better. ❤️🙏 🤲
yes you can. but first you have to go absolutely no contact with the ex narc. I'm a empath and love nature. I'm able to do everything I use to do once leaving the toxicity
May goodness and love of humanity surround you Andrew. Thank you 🤔❤🇺🇸
🙋ANDREW 💫, FROM BEAUTIFUL COSTA RICA ,
💐 ANGEL 👼 SENDING 💞 YOU
SOME LOVE....,🤗
HUGS,
& WISHES ...of
SHWEETDREAMS😴 PRAYERS OF
HEALING ,💔💝
HAPPINESS & REAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.NAMASTE MA Y OUR GUARDIAN ANGELS PROTECT YOUR EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY !🙃😍
A LIFE OF PEACE ,COMEDY &
Thankyou for another helpful video !!!!
💜💙💚💛🧡❤💜💙💚💛🧡❤💜💙💚💛🧡❤
Welcome 🙏
Thank you Andrew so true so glad to be getting my self back. My individuality my uniqueness my serenity my power my happiness my uniqueness my clothing style my freedom freedom of expression beauty loveliness all that feeling free feeling loved feeling excited about life and it’s wonderful thank you so much for this video 🙂🙏💌👍🌈😀✨no more ⛓⛓⛓⛓chains.
You are property of the narcissist so you can only be yourself with permission of your master the soul vampire. Thank you Andrew for all your insight 😊 nameste
Namaste 🙏
I always contribute to animal welfare but while living with the narcicists (both, my mom and ex) I could not dedicate myself to this mission the way I wanted. Animal welfare is a heavy cross to carry, and the narcs already had me carry a heavy cross. Not only the target victim losses.
Thank you for sharing this hard-earned wisdom with us - knowledge is power!
Every bit of what you say is SO true! Also, I found whatever you give it is not enough and never is. When you give a little, even after you have not had contact in a while, it isnt long at all before they want more. And already have it planned out at times. Seemingly unbelievable, but really true. And it doesn't matter if you only have a little they want that too, because now you need to work for more. You have to hold tight to your boundaries and what you say because you will get run over and tested time after time. If they do not like it you get the silent treatment for awhile. but they are ready for you again when you talk. They just wanted their way. Drain, then more drain. If you are good to them and think things are better then you get devalued again, and again. Just doesn't stop. Harsh words get worse also at times, so
you feel bad about yourself which you shouldn't because you called it for what it is. Abuse. A good time for no contact if possible. The lesser time you spend with them you start to feel better after a period of grieving so to say because it is somewhat like going through a death only no one has passed away. But a day of that can upset the cart for about a week till you start to feel better and feel like you are ok. Then starts over. The times between get shorter because that is the cycle you are in. The only way to stop is to remove yourself somewhere in that cycle. You have to realize it first. It is so hard to do, especially when you have a couple days or so to refresh yourself. Thank you Andrew for being you, your valuable information and your sincere caring. You help so many. May God bless you richly!
When you said "They just wanted their way", you hit the nail on it's head. Stubbornness can be good or bad. Covert narcs are extremely stubborn in a bad way because they will destroy anything or anyone in their way to get what they want. It's where they feel powerful. I ALSO am extremely stubborn in that I will not tow their line, but you know by now that doesn't solve anything. But I will NOT allow myself to be treated in a way I wouldn't treat someone else as. Ever read the Deseterata? Hope I spelled it correctly. You can find many versions on TH-cam. It's great to listen to.
@@tmo.48 Thank you for your reply. I havent heard of Desiderata but have looked it up online and I will read and listen to it. It is on Wikipedia too I see. I looked how to spell it. Thank you very much! 🙂
No.
Post relationship depending on how many years you did..
You will greet yourself again.
😊🙏☀️❤️💪🏼✝️
😊🙌💯
" Could you ever be yourself?"
Yes absolutely, as one has been given the privilege to grow beyond that illusion in the past. Because the illusion was in the mind of the writer....not the Puddle.
But affirmation has allowed for growth, healing and grace in ways never imagined. Authenticity is ownership of one's genuine quality.
" every storm indeed has a ray of sunshine beyond the rainbow "