I'm a good listener. I always have been. I recognized this strength and I play to it. You see, most people want to feel important. Something as simple as asking about their day can lead to a 45 minute discussion. Stay on topic and make it all about them. Asking questions keeps them talking. That way they know you're paying attention and you will seem interested in what they have to say. You'll make a lot of friends and associates this way.
deadass bro...i'm an introvert (hence the name) and that's mostly all i do. listen and ask follow up questions. ask them how they feel about certain things.
So I used to talk to this guy whom I connected with. Our connection was so strong that he could be talking about his day or just literally nothing of importance or sexual and i would get aroused just listening. The flow of our conversation was so easy and we could converse about whatever from life all the way to movies in one conversation.
I use to focus on being a good listener throughout my teens to mid 20's, but one thing I noticed was that because being a good listener was one of my best skills, whenever I converse with people, I noticed that whenever a person talks about themselves, it seems like I have to be all ears, and I would listen, ask questions about themselves, etc. (even if they were bland boring conversations, or conversations that added no value to my life) but when it's my turn to talk, the reactions I get from people is the complete opposite. So now I'm more selfish with my time and energy when it comes to the people I have conversations with. I know I have to work on my tone, delivery, being more alpha, etc. when I talk though, but now I'm at the point now where I only care about conversations where me and the person I'm conversing with have the same mutual interests, or if we're giving each other some game to live a better life, if there's a good exchange of talking and listening, etc. But I'm sick of listening to those who make it seem like the coolest thing just happened to them, when all they did was make a trip to the grocery store..............smh
I'd like to add that this applies not only to just women and relationships, but all aspects of life. You either got it or you don't. and if you DON'T have the natural talent to make things happen, you must work at it. Hard work and determination = results
If you guys still haven't picked up at least one of uncle Rom's books, I'd highly suggest you do. I just got my copy of nice guys and players the other day and its really eye opening. Its not super long, easy to read and understand, plenty of example scenarios, and will flat out make you a better man. I've only gotten halfway through it and the knowledge its given me has changed how I view women and relationships overnight
Rom Wills which book should i pick up as the next step after I've fully gotten down nice guys and players? I'm going to keep it with me and read it multiple times, but I wonder what I should do from there
I happen to work in an environment where there are plenty of attractive women to chop it up with....so that by itself helps keep my verbal skills crisp. Reading books, listening to other articulate speakers, talking slowly, bringing a different brand of knowledge to the table are all ways to improve your conversation.
@ jd 23 Books- The Art of Mackin--Tariq Nasheed, 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership--John Maxwell, Uncommon:Finding Your Path to Significance--Tony Dungy just to name a few..Im read big on SELF HELP BOOKS to help you improve in different areas of life
@dj 23 Speakers-my favorite preachers Kennon Olison and Minister David Lane(their sermons are on youtube, just type in the name in the search bar), analyst Stephen A. Smith with his crazy self, Dr. Umar Johnson, motivational speakers Eric Thomas and Inky Johnson
Glad you brought this one up on the basics Rom. See I think where a lot of men mess up at is they telegraph sexual interest and like a rabbit getting the scent of a predator in the air the women will see those guys coming and will immediately start distancing themselves far away. I found the best way to learn how to talk to women without telegraphing sexual interest was by conversating with elderly women cause I have no sexual interest in women old enough to be my grandma and I'm in my 40's. Once a man master conversation with women without telegraphing sexual interest; there'll never be a woman that he can't approach and converse with maybe more.
I realized I don’t have a problem being charismatic with women when I’m not interested in them. I get nervous when I am interested or don’t know how to start off the conversation. I struggle with getting into the flow of being myself when I’m not interested, when I actually am interested.
I struggled with talking to women and and not overthinking about it. The weight lifting was a very good example you can’t cheat form or reps. Great video.
Once again u right I don’t kno why ppl are scared to just say good morning it opens up a world of possibilities anything in life gets done thru talking any business deal negotiating requires talking the simple convo is the best like u say at the grocery store the gas station the liquor store she will always remember u and even smile when u walk thru the door conversation run the nation hey rom what’s a good bicep building exercise I can use Man U right form is everything makes it easier
Agree with you on all points. It's funny I was listening to you talk about using opportunities to talk to women. Just realized the number or opportunities that I have. I go to the gym, bowling, volunteering, etc. There are so many ways where men and women can learn and get comfortable in talking to the opposite sex. I think too many times we take those opportunities for granted and just blow them off as nothing. I guess I really haven't thought about it much until now is because talking to women and people in general has just become natural to me.
Rom Wills the only issue I sometimes have is being able to read the signs if a woman is making herself available to be approached. Sometimes it's easy to tell if she has headphones on or if she is with her friends. But other times it's not always that easy for me to tell.
Some men are nervous and so are women at times. When meeting someone for the first time, some things may not come across right. Depending on the conversation or if we see potential in that person, it would be ok to give this person a second chance. It is hard to make a decision base on the first experience sometimes. This is why I think it is necessary to give this person a second chance if necessary.
There is no substitute for engaged, focused, repetitive, practice...in *any* field of endeavor. What is true about learning guitar, or lifting, is true about dealing with women. First you suck then you suck less. Pay attention to what you did right, and wrong. Rinse and repeat. One day *off in the future* you will become. Too many youngsters, and old heads, want to skip the dues paying. You MUST pay your dues, no way around it.
My conversation skills evolved from simply having jobs where I had to interact with the public. Simple as speaking to cashiers or asking a saleslady, or a nearby female customer her opinion on an item or fragrance. As well as growing up in the south, almost everyone speaks or greet one another and it drags you out of being introverted.
Same here, plus reactivating an inactive chapter of my fraternity on campus. That really helped with my networking skills, not the mention the perks and benefits that came along with the status of being the first chapter president.
You're exactly right fam, I totally agree! Yep, talking to women and building up your conversation skills definitely takes practice and comes with time. See I've been doing this for years and years along with yourself talking to women and being able to be a good conversationalist! Now I'm at the point where I can talk to women comfortably inspite of my financial situation and me staying focused on my purpose because I know that's going to change for me real soon. I was young in my early twenties even late teens talking to women old enough to be my mother, they were really into me like that, I've always attracted older women anyway! I have multiple angles I can use to break the ice with women and get a conversation going just by complimenting her on her shoes, that's just one angle, I can do this with women from all races color and creeds. Like you've said fam, you have to just get out there and do it, that's the only way you're going to become good at just conversating with women, you have to stay consistent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its not what you say but its how you say that makes a difference. You can say, "dang girl you got mustard on the side of your mouth...come on now, get it together," and say it with some confidence. And homegirl can still be feeling you.
This my biggest area I need improvement in, I'm a quiet yet affable observer by nature. But I watch underground hip-hop interviews & I see how engaged some of the interviewers are, & I have to think if I'm really that interested in a woman the conversation will come just as long as I engage & really lock-in to what she say...........but I write poetry too, so they always think I'm just talking slick haha.
This is true. Becoming the compete package that women want and that will attract prosperity and wealth to you starts within. You have to train your mind, body and spirit before you can reach your full potential. It doesn't happen overnight. Like any craft, you must work at it.
Ive mastered the art of talking to women in general, but I am mastering the art of talking to women I like, who seem disinterested. Iam not suggesting this to everyone but I am just different. I don't need to talk to "100 women a day". So far I've had an "intense course" in talking to just a few women I like, at work. At times I mumble my words and the noise in the warehouse drowns out some of my voice. So there's nothing more demoralizing to hear: "What? I didn't hear you" , "Say that last bit again?" And "Oh.... right. OK". However, I would still go back and strike a conversation with a new confidence and a clearer tone and "win them over". After that experience, for me, I have no problem talking to attractive women who seem defensive or disinterested in talking.
so my thing is about social cue's like i go to the gym so my social cue would be if a women is not wearing head phone you can talk to her or is that wrong
This is one of my biggest problems it has always been very hard for me to talk to women and find things to say while on the phone or in person it is hard for me to keep a conversation going with women so what I have tried to do is watch all of my friends who are really good with girls and sometimes I just third wheel and hang out with them and just watch what they say to women I observe how the women respond and I observe their entire dialogue no situation will be the exact same but it gives me a general idea of how to act and what to say around women and how they will respond it's not that I get shy around women I don't trip over my words or stutter or get too nervous or anything like that I am perfectly fine talking to women I just don't know what to say and sometimes I think I may come off a bit corny childish or lame making her not even want to continue the conversation it usually ends with a I'll call you back or just text me later or something like that and I never hear from her again
What's up Big Rom, you are totally right adding one thing I have experienced from female's is she may be interesting but she don't have knowledge of how to except a brother that's trying to approach her I've had female's that where so intimidated that she couldn't flow with the program blowing her opportunity I've been told that by female's because of their insecurities.
Hi Rom.....you're right on time w/this one....i just experienced this last week on date ....which was kind of frustrating, leading up to the date I was already turned on....the lack of communication turned me all the way off!😬
true.. it will always be scary and a sturggle for first timers especailly that first step but with time and experince shit feels regular and the best way is to start of with girls that we are fimialir with least she will feel comfortable cuz she knows u ..... a compelete stranger girl is a no no unless if she is giving u a choosing signals.. if u fail at getting her and u can read her socail cues that shes not feeling u then end the conversation nicely and leave its orite if a person fails just learn from ur.mistakes.andask someone that knows about the game like uncle rom
It's a skillset you have to own it. Women get loose around me all the time. Why? because you need to be confident and look them straight in the eyes trust me works every time.
any advice I recently started approaching females but everytime I approach them I don’t know how to start a conversation any advice. how do I start a conversation with a female I just meet for the first time and seen for the first time any advice. and the other thing is when I talk to someone my conversations is full of questions and I am trying to keep a conversation with someone with out it being full of questions any advice on that
After you’ve made it past hi start paying attention to any little thing about her. Jive on this real quick every fool she come across talking bout her ass and tits..so talk about everything but that ..and when she brings it up DOWNPLAY IT!!
If you don't want it to be full of questions, you got to tell her stories of stuff you experienced that is related to the questions, give your opinion on things you both are talking and just be easy going, I do it that way and it works for me, you just have to practice it with different women and eventually you'll get better at it, it's hard though but don't give up, sometimes it's going to be awkward but keep trying to be better at it because you definitely can develop your conversation with women, also having a friend or a guy you hang out with who is good at talking to women and to people in general helps a ton, because you'll learn a lot from him
bronzed curls In general, yea, it will continue in the early stages of the relationship until he is used to talking to you after about a month. But then there's sex. There's big chance of you being disappointed. When us guys are nervous during sex, you'll be getting in the rhythm of things, then we'll be like "Oh yes, I am really doing it!" Then nut 5mins in. LOL! So the nervous guy will get better in the relationship if you have the patience take the lead.
Without good conversation, no relationship can grow.
Truth.
I'm a good listener. I always have been. I recognized this strength and I play to it. You see, most people want to feel important. Something as simple as asking about their day can lead to a 45 minute discussion. Stay on topic and make it all about them. Asking questions keeps them talking. That way they know you're paying attention and you will seem interested in what they have to say. You'll make a lot of friends and associates this way.
Now that's game. Listening is a powerful tool.
The Hawk thank you you don't mind if I use that to help myself
blackrage 843. I don't mind at all. It's free advice.
deadass bro...i'm an introvert (hence the name) and that's mostly all i do. listen and ask follow up questions. ask them how they feel about certain things.
💯
So I used to talk to this guy whom I connected with. Our connection was so strong that he could be talking about his day or just literally nothing of importance or sexual and i would get aroused just listening. The flow of our conversation was so easy and we could converse about whatever from life all the way to movies in one conversation.
That's how it works.
I use to focus on being a good listener throughout my teens to mid 20's, but one thing I noticed was that because being a good listener was one of my best skills, whenever I converse with people, I noticed that whenever a person talks about themselves, it seems like I have to be all ears, and I would listen, ask questions about themselves, etc. (even if they were bland boring conversations, or conversations that added no value to my life) but when it's my turn to talk, the reactions I get from people is the complete opposite. So now I'm more selfish with my time and energy when it comes to the people I have conversations with. I know I have to work on my tone, delivery, being more alpha, etc. when I talk though, but now I'm at the point now where I only care about conversations where me and the person I'm conversing with have the same mutual interests, or if we're giving each other some game to live a better life, if there's a good exchange of talking and listening, etc. But I'm sick of listening to those who make it seem like the coolest thing just happened to them, when all they did was make a trip to the grocery store..............smh
I feel you on this one.
I'd like to add that this applies not only to just women and relationships, but all aspects of life. You either got it or you don't. and if you DON'T have the natural talent to make things happen, you must work at it. Hard work and determination = results
Social media is killing the normal conversation
Truth.
ask her about herself and listen intently.
Yep.
If you guys still haven't picked up at least one of uncle Rom's books, I'd highly suggest you do. I just got my copy of nice guys and players the other day and its really eye opening. Its not super long, easy to read and understand, plenty of example scenarios, and will flat out make you a better man. I've only gotten halfway through it and the knowledge its given me has changed how I view women and relationships overnight
Thanks brotha. I think men make it more complicated than it has to be. Women are really easy.
Rom Wills which book should i pick up as the next step after I've fully gotten down nice guys and players? I'm going to keep it with me and read it multiple times, but I wonder what I should do from there
I happen to work in an environment where there are plenty of attractive women to chop it up with....so that by itself helps keep my verbal skills crisp.
Reading books, listening to other articulate speakers, talking slowly, bringing a different brand of knowledge to the table are all ways to improve your conversation.
Good advice.
dsetgetatme Which books do you read and what speakers do you listen to?
@ jd 23 Books- The Art of Mackin--Tariq Nasheed, 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership--John Maxwell, Uncommon:Finding Your Path to Significance--Tony Dungy just to name a few..Im read big on SELF HELP BOOKS to help you improve in different areas of life
@dj 23 Speakers-my favorite preachers Kennon Olison and Minister David Lane(their sermons are on youtube, just type in the name in the search bar), analyst Stephen A. Smith with his crazy self, Dr. Umar Johnson, motivational speakers Eric Thomas and Inky Johnson
I take the Southern approach when in doubt just wave. Lol
Works like a charm.
LOL!
Glad you brought this one up on the basics Rom. See I think where a lot of men mess up at is they telegraph sexual interest and like a rabbit getting the scent of a predator in the air the women will see those guys coming and will immediately start distancing themselves far away. I found the best way to learn how to talk to women without telegraphing sexual interest was by conversating with elderly women cause I have no sexual interest in women old enough to be my grandma and I'm in my 40's. Once a man master conversation with women without telegraphing sexual interest; there'll never be a woman that he can't approach and converse with maybe more.
That's good game.
Working in a Hospital for many years has been great for learning how to talk to women & people it’s a daily practice field
Truth.
I realized I don’t have a problem being charismatic with women when I’m not interested in them. I get nervous when I am interested or don’t know how to start off the conversation. I struggle with getting into the flow of being myself when I’m not interested, when I actually am interested.
I struggled with talking to women and and not overthinking about it. The weight lifting was a very good example you can’t cheat form or reps. Great video.
Thank you.
Eye contact...huge
Voice tone and eye contact is important when conversing.....also if u can 'drop some knowledge'.....
I know YOU know. You got mad game.
Once again u right I don’t kno why ppl are scared to just say good morning it opens up a world of possibilities anything in life gets done thru talking any business deal negotiating requires talking the simple convo is the best like u say at the grocery store the gas station the liquor store she will always remember u and even smile when u walk thru the door conversation run the nation hey rom what’s a good bicep building exercise I can use Man U right form is everything makes it easier
Personally I like the barbells because it helps to build your arms evenly.
Agree with you on all points. It's funny I was listening to you talk about using opportunities to talk to women. Just realized the number or opportunities that I have. I go to the gym, bowling, volunteering, etc. There are so many ways where men and women can learn and get comfortable in talking to the opposite sex. I think too many times we take those opportunities for granted and just blow them off as nothing. I guess I really haven't thought about it much until now is because talking to women and people in general has just become natural to me.
It's natural to me too.
Rom Wills the only issue I sometimes have is being able to read the signs if a woman is making herself available to be approached. Sometimes it's easy to tell if she has headphones on or if she is with her friends. But other times it's not always that easy for me to tell.
Voice tone is definitely it. Got plenty women wet off of that. But eye contact is magical
BOOM!
Do you approach women who wear headphones?
Rom Wills do you approach women who wear headphones?
Some men are nervous and so are women at times. When meeting someone for the first time, some things may not come across right. Depending on the conversation or if we see potential in that person, it would be ok to give this person a second chance. It is hard to make a decision base on the first experience sometimes. This is why I think it is necessary to give this person a second chance if necessary.
Wisdom.
There is no substitute for engaged, focused, repetitive, practice...in *any* field of endeavor. What is true about learning guitar, or lifting, is true about dealing with women. First you suck then you suck less. Pay attention to what you did right, and wrong. Rinse and repeat. One day *off in the future* you will become. Too many youngsters, and old heads, want to skip the dues paying. You MUST pay your dues, no way around it.
Great advice.
My conversation skills evolved from simply having jobs where I had to interact with the public. Simple as speaking to cashiers or asking a saleslady, or a nearby female customer her opinion on an item or fragrance. As well as growing up in the south, almost everyone speaks or greet one another and it drags you out of being introverted.
That's a good way.
Same here, plus reactivating an inactive chapter of my fraternity on campus. That really helped with my networking skills, not the mention the perks and benefits that came along with the status of being the first chapter president.
I feel like you can touch on this on a deeper level on your deep thought channel
You know I can.
You're exactly right fam, I totally agree! Yep, talking to women and building up your conversation skills definitely takes practice and comes with time. See I've been doing this for years and years along with yourself talking to women and being able to be a good conversationalist! Now I'm at the point where I can talk to women comfortably inspite of my financial situation and me staying focused on my purpose because I know that's going to change for me real soon. I was young in my early twenties even late teens talking to women old enough to be my mother, they were really into me like that, I've always attracted older women anyway! I have multiple angles I can use to break the ice with women and get a conversation going just by complimenting her on her shoes, that's just one angle, I can do this with women from all races color and creeds. Like you've said fam, you have to just get out there and do it, that's the only way you're going to become good at just conversating with women, you have to stay consistent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's the way to do it. Women are suckers for compliments.
Its not what you say but its how you say that makes a difference.
You can say, "dang girl you got mustard on the side of your mouth...come on now, get it together," and say it with some confidence. And homegirl can still be feeling you.
True.
This my biggest area I need improvement in, I'm a quiet yet affable observer by nature. But I watch underground hip-hop interviews & I see how engaged some of the interviewers are, & I have to think if I'm really that interested in a woman the conversation will come just as long as I engage & really lock-in to what she say...........but I write poetry too, so they always think I'm just talking slick haha.
More Live. Ain't nothing wrong with that. I'm the same way. I can't change who I am but if need be, I can hold a conversation.
Just practice.
This is true. Becoming the compete package that women want and that will attract prosperity and wealth to you starts within. You have to train your mind, body and spirit before you can reach your full potential. It doesn't happen overnight. Like any craft, you must work at it.
Truth.
What’s your Spirit ?
Ive mastered the art of talking to women in general, but I am mastering the art of talking to women I like, who seem disinterested.
Iam not suggesting this to everyone but I am just different. I don't need to talk to "100 women a day". So far I've had an "intense course" in talking to just a few women I like, at work.
At times I mumble my words and the noise in the warehouse drowns out some of my voice. So there's nothing more demoralizing to hear: "What? I didn't hear you" , "Say that last bit again?" And "Oh.... right. OK". However, I would still go back and strike a conversation with a new confidence and a clearer tone and "win them over". After that experience, for me, I have no problem talking to attractive women who seem defensive or disinterested in talking.
Good way to do it.
so my thing is about social cue's like i go to the gym so my social cue would be if a women is not wearing head phone you can talk to her or is that wrong
This is one of my biggest problems it has always been very hard for me to talk to women and find things to say while on the phone or in person it is hard for me to keep a conversation going with women so what I have tried to do is watch all of my friends who are really good with girls and sometimes I just third wheel and hang out with them and just watch what they say to women I observe how the women respond and I observe their entire dialogue no situation will be the exact same but it gives me a general idea of how to act and what to say around women and how they will respond it's not that I get shy around women I don't trip over my words or stutter or get too nervous or anything like that I am perfectly fine talking to women I just don't know what to say and sometimes I think I may come off a bit corny childish or lame making her not even want to continue the conversation it usually ends with a I'll call you back or just text me later or something like that and I never hear from her again
You just have to practice that.
What's up Big Rom, you are totally right adding one thing I have experienced from female's is she may be interesting but she don't have knowledge of how to except a brother that's trying to approach her I've had female's that where so intimidated that she couldn't flow with the program blowing her opportunity I've been told that by female's because of their insecurities.
Hi Rom.....you're right on time w/this one....i just experienced this last week on date ....which was kind of frustrating, leading up to the date I was already turned on....the lack of communication turned me all the way off!😬
That's what I tell men. Many blow it with a receptive woman. You'll know what women say. "He was fine until he opened his mouth."
Learn by doing!!!
The Basics Always Win!!
Yep.
I'll admit this is one area I seriously need help i don't really conversate with people like that
Just one step at a time.
true.. it will always be scary and a sturggle for first timers especailly that first step but with time and experince shit feels regular and the best way is to start of with girls that we are fimialir with least she will feel comfortable cuz she knows u ..... a compelete stranger girl is a no no unless if she is giving u a choosing signals.. if u fail at getting her and u can read her socail cues that shes not feeling u then end the conversation nicely and leave its orite if a person fails just learn from ur.mistakes.andask someone that knows about the game like uncle rom
Truth.
Rom Wills u saying truth for the sack of pleasing me
It's a skillset you have to own it. Women get loose around me all the time. Why? because you need to be confident and look them straight in the eyes trust me works every time.
Yep.
facts!!!
Idd.
Yes
Ok
Wow
That's crazy!
Rinse repeat lol
Shout out to Mr Rom Wills
Thanks.
any advice I recently started approaching females but everytime I approach them I don’t know how to start a conversation any advice. how do I start a conversation with a female I just meet for the first time and seen for the first time any advice. and the other thing is when I talk to someone my conversations is full of questions and I am trying to keep a conversation with someone with out it being full of questions any advice on that
Start by saying "Hi" to three women a day. After at least 21 days you'll be comfortable to say more to them.
After you’ve made it past hi start paying attention to any little thing about her. Jive on this real quick every fool she come across talking bout her ass and tits..so talk about everything but that ..and when she brings it up DOWNPLAY IT!!
If you don't want it to be full of questions, you got to tell her stories of stuff you experienced that is related to the questions, give your opinion on things you both are talking and just be easy going, I do it that way and it works for me, you just have to practice it with different women and eventually you'll get better at it, it's hard though but don't give up, sometimes it's going to be awkward but keep trying to be better at it because you definitely can develop your conversation with women, also having a friend or a guy you hang out with who is good at talking to women and to people in general helps a ton, because you'll learn a lot from him
Learn to listen well and keep her talking LoL
Yep.
real talk 100%
Thank you.
This is how I learned but still need more skills I'm there but still trying to read body language
It takes practice.
Hey Rom. How do I get plugged to the private site???.....
Here's the link, www.connectpal.com/romwillsraw.
Rom Wills Fasho...
Lmao These women want you to be Clark Kent and Superman at the same damn time.
Sorry my names not Kal-El and niggas are not from Krypton
LOL!
i hate people who can't have good conversation. since i hate small talk , it has to be good enough for me to want to keep talking.
bronzed curls What if the guy was nervous and you could see he's trying to think up the next thing to say. Would you help him along or end the convo?
I’ll wait till he figures out how to talk. If you cant Talk during approaching it makes me wonder will it carry on into a relationship?
bronzed curls In general, yea, it will continue in the early stages of the relationship until he is used to talking to you after about a month. But then there's sex.
There's big chance of you being disappointed. When us guys are nervous during sex, you'll be getting in the rhythm of things, then we'll be like "Oh yes, I am really doing it!" Then nut 5mins in. LOL! So the nervous guy will get better in the relationship if you have the patience take the lead.
Andrew+ hahaj omg so true. Well i expect two people to be nervous with sex. But we’re talking about making the first move here!
i feel u
Waz up bro
💯
First!