Retired in the Philippines on a Budget and Why some Expats Fail
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ค. 2024
- Retired in the Philippines on a Budget /Why some Expats Fail@paulinthephilippinesolddog9234
Are you considering moving to the Philippines as an expat? In this eye-opening video, a real guy reveals the number one reason why expats often fail in the Philippines. Learn from his personal experience and insights to avoid making the same mistakes. Don't miss out on this candid discussion that spills the tea on expat life in the Philippines!
Key points
📝 High attrition rate: 30-40% of retirees who move abroad end up returning home.
📊 Reasons for return: Dislike of the new environment, medical conditions, family or business crises, and financial mismanagement.
💡 Financial mismanagement: Many retirees fail due to poor handling of their finances.
🔍 Impulse control: The lack of impulse control is identified as a major issue, affecting decisions in various aspects of life.
💬 Crisis of masculinity: The video links the lack of impulse control to a broader cultural issue, where men feel a lack of purpose and direction.
📉 Emotional vs. logical decisions: Emotional decisions often lead to poor outcomes, while logical decisions are more beneficial.
🌐 Impact on expats: Expats face new challenges and temptations, leading to impulsive actions.
🛑 Importance of slowing down: The speaker advises new expats to take their time and make considered decisions.
💬 Personal experiences: The speaker shares his own experiences and observations of others to illustrate the points.
📚 Learning from mistakes: Emphasizes the importance of self-evaluation and learning from past mistakes to avoid future problems.
Summary
High failure rate: About 30-40% of retirees who move abroad end up returning home due to various reasons.
Common reasons for return: Retirees return because they dislike the new environment, face medical issues, or have family or business crises.
Financial issues: A significant number of retirees fail due to poor financial management.
Impulse control: The lack of impulse control is a major factor contributing to financial mismanagement among retirees.
Cultural factors: A broader cultural issue of declining masculinity and lack of purpose among men is linked to impulse control problems.
Making decisions: Emphasizes the importance of making logical rather than emotional decisions to ensure better outcomes.
Challenges for expats: Expats face new challenges and temptations that can lead to impulsive actions and poor decisions.
Advice to new expats: The speaker advises new expats to take their time, slow down, and make considered decisions.
Personal stories: The speaker shares his own experiences and observations of others to illustrate the issues discussed.
Learning and self-evaluation: Stresses the importance of self-evaluation and learning from past mistakes to avoid future problems.
I worked in corrections for 24 years. The number one reason that people end up in prison is because they made a terrible mistake based on emotional impulse. If they just retracted themselves from the situation and cooled off for a day, they wouldn't be locked up for twenty years.
Amazing how one bad decision can ruin your entire life, and I agree, all based on emotions
I did prison ministry in Arizona at four prisons. I noticed so many blacks in prison, almost the same number of Mexicans. Yet there are a lot less blacks in Arizona. After several years of practice, I noticed that the Mexicans still have family and friends to connect with. But then blacks did not have anyone to connect with. When they got out of prison, they almost always had no one to help them. The emotional problems cause the mistakes. But family structure helps people who make mistakes have a much better chance to recover.
I’m a CO now and I definitely agree
Damned 30 day waiting period... ;-)
I was a juror in a trial like that, although the guy was already in prison. The beef? The guy didn’t want the victim in the showers with him. Got an ample consecutive sentence tacked onto his existing one. He’d have been out by now if he’d just had more impulse control.
I have better impulse control now as I've decided that it's better to be alone than be stressed out by being with the wrong person.
Great if is working. I unfortunately got stuck with a not desirable since having a child. If was for it, but sadly she's using the child and me now as leverage for her financial needs. Have helped her w/ her debt issues for 10+yrs but she still keeps on. 😢
It is better alone for me as well. Impulse wasn’t my problem. I think I’m just too nice. I was under constant pressure from the girlfriend to buy stuff. I always said look… this is my budget and I can’t afford it. After one year I saw it would never change so I left. And I’m staying alone. And now I can be myself and relax.
Being alone is one of the best feelings ever. If you're able to accept it and embrace it you have control over everything. With technology now you have the ability to meet people easily at any time. My Grandpa live from age 77 to age 100 alone after Grandma died and lived healthy too
@@brianh9014 you are allowing it.
@@L4P-Monk I’m in the same boat as you, I was too nice and ended up being used. I’m alone now, I don’t think I ever want another relationship, but I have learned to say NO, it’s the most powerful word in the world, when you say no to something or someone, you say yes to yourself.
A fun story. I used to have a GF in Mindanao. I would come visit and of course I had a budget for the trip. On my first visit to her we invited some of her family to dinner and for me surprisingly that small dinner party grew in to a large dinner party of around 20. The word got out quickly kano is buying dinner. In truth the bill was not unmanageable but I took note of what happened. The next day some of those family want to go every where with you and I of course am buying. This behavior continued for a few more days and I told my GF it's a shame I am spending so much money on her friends and family. She asked me why I felt the way. So I told her that I had X and when X was gone there was no more. I continued that my thought was that when I left whatever there was of X I would give to her. Interesting that no friends or family every joined us again. (:
I can relate Remember were rich to them. My GF will ask me if I can bring her family I tell yes your immediate family only. Mom and Dad and bro and sis that's it
Great way to handle that situation. I give my Filapina GF an allowance and tell her she's paying out of that allowance when she invites other people she didn't tell me about. Had good results with that approach.
Love it
Fell in love immediately upon my first visit..showered her with money and gifts, soon her family wanted and needed and got it. Soon I wised up and started saying no. Later on the whole reason I loved her so hard, her promise and desire to come live with me in America, came out that she never wanted to leave ph, now I'm dealing with the breakup..it's hard for both of us but inevitable..
Paul is really wise and gives great advice. It's a shame he has no kids and probly will die with none..I want kids but it seems that when people choose to have kids with someone, one of the two has to accept unfair/wrong treatment by the other on a regular basis in order to stay in a long term relationship.
smart man
The hero mentality is a dead-end road that doesn't earn appreciation, it earns the label of being a fool. Money is appreciated at first, then it's expected, then it becomes dependent upon and entitled. The shift through those phases happens pretty fast.
You nailed it. This happens all the time, everywhere. Personal relationships and things like government programs too. You did omit one part at the end.Through some weird psychological association. even thought you helped, they end up blaming and hating you for their situation ( they very thing you were helping them out of).
Wow. Nailed it!
That's why I tell guys if you have a home in America still don't sell it and move overseas keep your house if you can. That's why I stay in America 7months my family is their my daughter stays in my home when im 5 months over seas Because of my good health insurance and home I worked my ass off for. Every man situation is different you absolutely correct about the absent of masculinity in society.
All great points Paul and Baby Mae. My wife is in Vietnam where I’ll be retiring permanently at 62. Between SS and my pension , I’ll be getting over 3500 USD/month. Been to Vietnam 7 times and I love it . This was our plan. I feel very fortunate and I hope they don’t cut SS in the coming years. Stay healthy my friend
Great advise! Plus congrats on 94 k followers. When I started watching your adventures you had 5 Ive enjoyed the ride. Thanks
Excellent chat and very good points covered!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Great advice Paul. Keep up the good work.
Great information, great rules to live by. Thank you so much. Looking forward to the bed breaking video.
That video will have to be left to the imagination 😆
😂😂😂😂😂
Nice coverage on a very important subject Paul. Keep up the great work. Dan
Great video thanks Paul!
Hello 👋 Paul and Baby Mae.
Great 👍 video with great advice.
Thanks and keep up the great work.
God Bless.
When vast life experience speaks - excellent video/ message 😊👏💯
Excellent video as usual
EXCELLENT ADVICE !
Thank you Paul this video really hit home. I’ve been thinking about this subject for the last 2 months. I’m the world’s worst about impulse buying and I truly need to work and resolve this if I’m ever going to move to the Philippines.
Great insight and advice Paul! Your firsthand experience and observations are priceless. Thanks for sharing!
Over the last 25 year's me and my Filipino wife bought some land built a house , we now have daughter and a business which my wife looks after.
What type of business I'm curious?
Hi @malcolmarmstrong3991 Congratulations on your accomplishments! We're enjoying our own journey here in Dumaguete.
Good video 🎉🎉🎉
Great video. You are spot on! Impulse control is not practiced.
Thanks Charles 👌
@@paulinthephilippinesolddog9234 Love your channel. Keep up the good work!
Excellent advice and you present it in a way that’s very palatable and easy to digest.
The 72 hour wait is great advise, thanks for bringing attention to the emotional impulses that sometimes happen to all of us. Thanks, Mae and Paul...Jim
Thanks Jim
Great video Paul, btw you are looking so Fit and healthy, very happy for you both. Don’t worry I’ve broken my bed a few times in past,
Excellent video… answered more than a few questions ..
I’ve been going to the Philippines since 1978 and this is the best advice I have heard anybody give!!!
Sage advise from someone who's been there and done that. Fools rush in, don't be a fool. Your advise is great. This is why I subscribe. Keep rockin!
Thanks my friend
Paul your story and how your living is so awesome.i hope to retire like you in 10 years.
Another great video Paul.
Thanks so much Gary
Hello Paul and Baby Mae, surprisingly I traveled to USA mainland for Mother's day 2024. After many visits and road miles, Im flying back to "Duma" because I miss my other half, I miss Negros Island and all the the fun that we have going places.
Welcome back!
You put out a lot of good content for people who go to the Philippines
Paul. You always amaze me with your videos what a nice way to start my day
Thank you so much!
If you are not in control of your emotions you are one situation away from disaster.
Good advice for everyone that is in the Philippines
Excellent video and solid advice.
Glad you enjoyed it!
been in the PI for 12 years. I agree on all your points. a combination of culture shock and impulse decisions can make staying here unattainable. Great points. Stable income, emergency savings, adjustment money (buying a scooter etc stuff you cannot bring with you to get settled in). a residency plan either avail the SSRV or doing the tourist extensions. PLAN your STAY, STAY with your PLAN.
Amen! Paul, well said. I have worked hard the last few years on myself and "impulse control" - I have tried meds, counseling, rehab, etc. The one thing I have found for the first step is to isolate - cut strings from everyone and start reflecting on yourself and putting yourself first. This may sound extreme or impossible for some but I will tell you this has worked for me. I have a long ways to go. The most important thing you can do is learn to accept and love yourself first. When you exude love for yourself you will begin to receive what you put out in the world. Simply put ... You reap what you sew!
Great advice. Also ... The Great broken bedframe episode 😂 hilarious
1st, thanks for sharing!!!
Thanks for watching!
Yes nice
Great advice for anyone at any time in their lives. Mae appears to follow everything you say now, even when you speak quickly or in partial sentences. She's come a long way.
Good one Paul
Thanks for this message. I want to stop working right now and move to the Philippines, but I know I am not ready for that commitment just yet. Some days, I need to talk myself out of an impulsive response at work or on the way to work. Thanks again, I know I need to work more diligently on self-control.
Very good video, Paul.
I can relate to what you described.
Take care.
Thanks, you too!
Excellent information Paul
I believe you are right o. Point
and we all leave people pollution back home and arrive in such an accepting environment and emotions take over the logic. I think the Expats could provide the 1-4 step process for adapting into the environment (only if they accept assistance) to help acclimate. Thank goodness we have you on TH-cam providing assistance
Cheers
Andrew
One thing that really concerns me is, do I have the discipline to go from doing what I want and spending what I want, to living on a budget with a fixed income. Hence one reason why I’m still working and haven’t retired yet.
Excellent advice Paul & Mae, thanks for sharing and God’s blessings to you.
Hi @troymoses8405 Thanks for the kind words! We're glad our experience can help others. Discipline is key, that's for sure!
You are always true to form, my friend... your care and concern for those Expats whom you preceded in coming to the Philippines is truly an example of your genuine & personable character. Your videos have always impressed me. But your notable & sincere concern for your fellow Expats is even more obvious having made your acquaintance here in Dumaguete. I like to think that over the past 17 years I have already made all the first-time mistakes in my preparations for my semi-retirement in the Philippines. I have been blessed with logic and common sense gifted to me by my parents. Growing up, they always stressed the importance of accepting my mistakes, learning from my mistakes and then staying focused like a laser on avoiding or repeating any of the previous mistakes I had made. Aside from marrying more than once, I have been quite successful in avoiding repeating any previous relationship mistakes. HOWEVER, when it comes to financial mistakes... jumping the gun and NOT stepping back and taking a breath before making a major decision has often illuminated my ability not to REPEAT MISTAKES, but rather create new and astounding ways to flush money down the proverbial drain! I find now that in my current situation I was so desperate to finally return home to the Philippines after an 11-year absence and aware of knowing what was awaiting me here, I made too many assumptions based on past knowledge instead of focusing my energies on the current offerings here. Beit my housing needs, vehicle requirements and physical limitations during my continued physical rehab, I rushed forward far too often with confidence, rather than stepping back, taking a pause and reassessing the situation facing me. At least since arriving in Dumaguete, I now find myself more mindful and cautious of the pitfalls and potholes ahead of me. Remember guys to look BOTH WAYS before crossing that next street. Practicing that simple thought in every relationship, purchase and acquisition you make in the Philippines. It could be the difference in you reaching your goals, or finding yourself frustrated and unraveled enough to the point of abandoning your long held dream of retiring abroad. Thanks for another great video, and my best to Mrs. McGill!
Great video Paul, Thanks for sharing.
Hi @boogiebackues8232 Thanks for watching!
Thank you Paul.
Paul,
Your videos are always so very helpful and filled with good advice.
My impression of you is that you seem to be quite wise……
And you also seem to be a good person.
I can’t say that about a lot of people. .
Good Morning Paul !! Magangdang umaga Mae !!!
It's all good Saul!
Once again a very good video! You can tell your videos are from the heart. I plain to travel to the Philippines next February to check the country out when I retire in three years. i would love to meet both you and your lovely wife for dinner or coffee.
So true . good words of wisdom .. I need to apply the 72 hour rule . thanks brother ..
Excellent video Paul! It’s sad when many men and women focus their decisions on their perceived appearance to others. Who cares? Trying to give an “perception” of toughness, independence or always being right makes you look like a fool. Stop being selfish. Respect others, respect yourself and your happiness factor will go way up.
Great advice and reminders Paul....holes in the soul...and our desire to feel better immediately quite often leads to impulse decisions😮...usually bad!🙏
That is so true you're right on track on everything and I can relate to what you're saying, very good video thank you very much Paul
Great advice as usual. My " moto" is similar....never make a big decision when you're real happy or real mad
Perfect
Old enough to have gained the wisdom, young enough to break a bed frame.... 😂 What a great combo.
You are such a nice couple. Mike I may have to change my plans already for health reasons. I do plan on visiting. Manila might work.
YOur Videos are always better with Baby Mae in frame
I agree
@@paulinthephilippinesolddog9234 but no chicken?
Thanks Paul
19:00 Another great Video. Thank..!
Thanks so much Joe
Awesome talk to listen to.
Great video as usual. I agree with most everything you said with a slightly different slant. I don't think all of the guys are trying to show off I think a large number is just trying to be nice.
Having a good budget is key. Also need to do a discovery trip first.
At 19:00, I have always heard that behavior referred to as the savior complex. I can see how a guy could run through a modest retirement pretty quickly with that thought process.
Thank you for recognizing us crazy people (takes one to know one🥴). Impulsive decisions / behavior nearly always leads to regret, no doubt about it.
great topic and advice for all of us no matter where we are
You are right; many people are driven by impulses, which is not always smart. It's easy to make mistakes in the Philippines, but the first rule is to use your head and not waste money on alcohol and clever women. I'm going to the Philippines in a month, starting in Cebu but also stopping by Dumaguete. It's been a long time since I last visited the Philippines.😊
HI PAUL and MAE , I enjoy your good advice and think one of the most important things you said and did , was to wait 3 days to speak about what was bothering you.
I don t impuse buy unless I absolutely need something that NOW is on sale.
O.K. . I am 68yo , thus don t have such good eyesight , that said , at one point in your video , it seemed like BABY MAE S FACE GOT VERY RED..
TY
GOD BLESS CIAO
Thank you for your honesty 😊, I have found that waiting before expressing negativity has always proven yeald much better results😊
Hi @billkeller3083 Appreciate your thoughtful perspective!
Never a dull moment.
This is the best advice I've heard... I'm in Davao now (retired from the US). I'm guilty of EVERYTHING you said not to do. I need to slow my roll. Thank you
Paul:
My Grandfather used to tell me all the time, "You can only take off the top for so long, before the top becomes the bottom" This lines up with exactly what you are saying in this video. Most guys who feel the "Superhero" emotion when being in a country where their money stretches much further than it does at home, need to realize this statement and understand that money is still money no matter where you are and it only buys so much.
Well said, grandfather was a smart man
Hi Paul and Mae, Thanks a lot for a new interesting and useful video. You are the voice of the common sense. I felt indentified when you put your finger on the problem. i went recently for a couple of months to Filipinas and my budget grew uncontrollably and doubled. There is no more explanation than the lack of control of my impulses you mention. I don´t want to blame women but it was the main source of spendings, the fault is obviously on my side. I´ll go again for six months and after listening to you I feel more aware and prepare for don't stumble over the same stone again. By the way, Paul, USA needs a new president like you!. I send you a big hug.
Outstanding Topic & Advice. Check out the new Ron Jeremy line of bed frames. You'll want to get the Dirk Diggler HD series.
Paul, outstanding video! Lots of good advice for us love starved future expats lol
You gotta break out the welder for your bed 🤣
Have a great week 😊 ✨🌴
You got that right ✅️
Words of wisdom! 👍👍
Hi @smoothjazzrob8061 Thanks for watching and appreciating the content!
good advice thanks
No problem!
Just retired from massachusetts state police, 6 months in.ive been Throw the philippines around to my close freinds..I told them.florida is old news to me..and I could live like king..I would definitely snow bird the philippines if I was to move..
I’m originally from Massachusetts and retired LE from a different state large city living in the Philippines. I have zero stress and there are quite a few other retired LE that feel the same. Congratulations on retirement. You deserve relaxation and good weather!
Now... Paul in the Philippines ... is a Psychologist on the Male Mind. Well done.
Paul, I can relate to the impulses you talk about! I'm 70 years old, and I still look at lovely ladies online! 👀😊 Even if we're married or not, the opportunities are still prevalent, and they tax your impulses so strongly! Our nature makes us do these things when we know we shouldn't! Keep up the good work of letting us men know how we should behave! Sage advice is always welcomed from someone who has been there, done that! 😊
Thanks Thomas
you really only need your van for sleeping. You can be in a mall, beautiful park or lake, college campus all day long, Nobody needs to know that you live in a van. i did this for 3 years, as I got my Bachelor's degree. It's actually simple and safe, once you know a few things. You can live in the parking lot of a hospital if your health is bad. :-) With a personal alarm on your chest, slap or fall on it and hospital security will come running. The US has by far the best support system for the elderly, IF you know how to use it.
Tell us more, how?
Hi @user-ci2mn1oy3w Thanks for sharing your experience! We've learned that sometimes, simplicity can be a great way to live affordably.
#1 I'm thankful for your videos watching 3 or 4 years now #2 starting on 3 months here now girlfriend 3kids lol 4 bed house #3 fully intended to go back home after 30 days #4 doing ok but don't have my safety net in place yet home in the states and or property will provide soon I hope sold some cars and junk for start up #5 your info has been priceless others too but mostly yours mostly happy so far
Impulse control is no joke! This gets more men & women into deep doo-doo. Think of how people in the US cut the cable on their TV to save money. However, now they have added streaming service over streaming service to the point that they spend more now than before. In the Philippines unlike in the West. You can have an argument with your partner, raise your voice, shout and later probably patch it up. Not really so in the Philippines because she may not even remember what you said, but the way you said it will or may doom the relationship. Loud scares them. Good video and no matter where we are, young or old we need to Think, Listen better, then react.
You’re correct about Loud If you speak to them and loud voice, they think that you are hollering at them. so I had to learn to tone my voice down when I get a little angry to keep peace with her.
Great Vid. I was thing about this same subject so I started to control it now why I am waitting to retire 22months to go. I am now only getting necessary things and I am selling the rest. No outside eatting and spending unnecessary.
So very true Paul. Experience is hell isn’t it.
I needed to hear this today, thank you.
My pleasure
Paul the wisdom guru
Thank you for that very good information..
So true and applies to anywhere in the world. I've seen it in my travels through out everywhere.
Breaking beds, you're my hero.
Have loved visiting my Filipino family in Bacolod three times in two years, but would not consider retiring there -- infrastructure and health care are the biggest reasons why. My wife is having some health issues over there now and I am not 100% comfortable with the diagnosis, and once one situation is resolved and a new 'problem' is found, and more money is needed. Always enjoy your videos.
Hi @JP-AP Thanks for sharing your experience! We've also had to navigate healthcare challenges here. Wishing you and your wife the best.
Good advice Paul, Been through allot of ups and downs here. I first came here in 2004. I have had many friends that have came here and made those same mistakes. There is another type man as well. The ones that say they are coming and tired of being alone and just sit and plan for years. They just don't have the balls to make a move or even do what it takes to get a passport . Those are the ones I feel sorry for.
My wife is from Cebu. Use to consider moving to P.I. when I retired BUT: I like having no brownouts. I enjoy going into my back yard and not being assaulted by noise pollution. I like hitting the open and uncrowded roads on one of my Harley's and not having to constantly dodge dogs,drunks,and idiots with cars who think a stop sign is a suggestion (at best). I like being able to have access to some of the worlds best docs and facilities. Emergency triple bypass a couple of years ago comes to mind. Does is cost a lot to live in my beloved Texas? 80 to 100K a year so yup it does. But for that I live extremely comfortably in a fairly stable country with more plusses than minuses.
And I think after being here in the PI for decade that there is more freedom flying under the radar than being subject to America’s automated government rules to control you. But yes, I do not dare to travel fast on my motorcycle because it seems traditional for vehicles to pull in front of me or pedestrians to step out into the street without looking to see the traffic. Even on a remote Philippine road, where you would expect no one to be there, it is not safe to travel on the motorcycle at a comfortable speed. Your other points are also spot on.
@@IB4U2Cme It really depends on state and city here in the U.S. Texas, and more specifically N.E. Texas where wife and I live is one of the more freedom loving and respectful areas of the state. There is no way I would live in any of the far left leaning states: they espouse freedom and perfection but are far from it. Some are extremely nice states with interesting natural wonders: all ruined by all controlling state and local governments. There is a trade off anywhere in the world and it boils down to what you are looking for.
From what I can tell - it all depends on what you value - what you can afford - and what tradeoffs you are comfortable with --?-- Everybody is different. Not 'everybody' can afford $80 -- $100K / year either - especially - in retirement ! ?? ! - - - Just look at the explosion of homeless low income seniors now in the richest country in the world recently - as an example of that ? - - - Some love the adventure and travel in their older years. Thailand and Kuala Lumpur offer superb medical for a fraction of the price ! (?) While 'Nomad Capitalist' even gave up his US citizenship - for more freedoms !!! ((wow)) - - - '''If''' > you found 'your' - "contentment" - that - appears to be what counts in the end - now doesn't it ?
Hi Paul and Baby Mae.
Thanks for a great 👍 video with great advice.
Keep up the great work and God 🙏 Bless.
You are wise. I am praying hard myself not to end in a shit hole like the phil. Phil is a step above being homeless in USA. Most of the people there are dying to get out of their country.
Well it’s all about planning for future in Philippines. Me and wife have already been established in Philippines we have plan to retire there. We will have 2 homes paid off we use one as income and my retirement is more than sufficient to live comfortably. More than half of income is put into savings. It all about planning ahead
Paul and Baby Mae :
Temperate :
Tks. much.
Hi @JMoroccoMisterBoy Thanks!
Hi Paul, thanks for the fruitful advice. You speak so much truths here, even your girlfriend agrees with you. When a man comes to retirement age, he should slowdown. I agree with you 💯
Thanks Paul for the inspiration. Your input is most always based on common sense which I agree many of us seem to not have . I do believe that many of us come from a society that is designed on impulse buying as there is an advertisement for this or that which playes every 15 minutes on the TV or social media. We are inundated with sales pitches every day. We come to the philippines and because everything is so affordable we go crazy and the pesos run like water . It's bad for us but good for the economy in the philippines. Having a place to go to as a base of operations is a plus and having a good woman in the philippines can make the difference between making it and failure in the beginning. I always remember the reason why I even think about relocation and that is because of personal finances and trying to have a better life on what I have to work with on a fixed income. It's about not just existing but living a life worth living.
Hi @gailmaplesden7380 Thanks for the kind words! We're glad our common sense approach resonates with you.
I've been setting everything up for two years things I know I will need or want when I get to Cebu.
Thank you Dr. Paul for your diagnosis. I am screwed.......waited too long coming out of my cave and at 71 the body breaks down in various places.
I feel your pain, literally