what i love about the book, aside from the actual subject, is the humourous and easily understood approach, like "anger is a racket", when you look at something like anger, being told to calm down is useless, but you if you can realise you are falling for your OWN confidence trick, the logic is undeniable and even the perpetrator no longer wants to be involved with anger. great book, i tell everyone i meet to read it, imma mr murgatroyd!!
8:44 - YES, THANK YOU!! One of my favorite parts of Berne’s theory is that he gets the difference between high-level hardware modes and subordinate software “roles” just about right.
You know its the end of times when a video like this has 48,000 views and some of these pop stars offering their opinion about fashion or BUTT twerking videos or people humiliating themselves or something even more useless has millions of views
@@JJ-vp3bd well i love ta.. I know it well before i bought the book. Basics of ta are really great. It explains all conflicts in conversation. And how to avoid it. But also is a great way for reflecting on your self. What are your social flaws, and what are your values, what do you hate etc. It explains allot about yourself. And if you look at all the ways of how you talk, than you also know what you trigger. And than you also learn allot about parenting. For example an controlling parent is very judgemental and triggers controlled child state "emotions": , passive, complaining, anger, fighting. While an nurturing parent style triggers, creative, spontaneous, happy. On the other hand controlling parent could also trigger a follower, someone who wants everything good, and on time. An nurturing parent could also trigger fickle, someone who crosses boundaries. I think ta. If you fully understand it covers a huge parts of understanding people and psychology. The book is for me a way to get deeper into the games. And everything behind those games.
In my opinion the example would mean that one was in the "Adult" and did not succumb to "getting angry" rather defuses the situation. My teacher, Dr. Franklin Ernst, taught that if one can remain in the "adult" for three transactions, the person can respond in the Adult. Eric Berne states that anger is a "racket" and rarely does any good. Anger is always a "Child" or a "Parent" reaction.
I had read all of his books. But what if... there are situations with people who are very... addicted to playing games and like to stay in their non-Adult states all the time... Did you think that feeding them to their own sometimes might be the only way to move forward in the given situation? I understand such an interaction might have a very, very weak boundary between this being a somewhat "therapeutic" transaction and just a mere ego self-stroking... But sometimes, there are situations, where your instincts (which anger certainly seems to be one of) are the best tool you have...
Wow. I never heard of this man or this book. But now I'm all in and I completely understand why I also value Jordan Peterson's information. I love TH-cam. ❤
I was about to get mad because I thought this video was a repost of the one I just watched. They're different but filmed at the same time, I guess: th-cam.com/video/NBO38HqQTgI/w-d-xo.html
Love Dr Eric's comment" The breast is not a part of me". But how about: The Penis is not a part of me either! :) Is our society ready for that statement? :) Love Dr Eric Burn's books. May he rest in peace.
Berne talks about intimacy as meaning a game free relationship. He also talks about something called autonomy meaning doing what you want to do and not just what you are told to. He is of course talking about voices in your head from long ago. Today this has a negative connotation but as he say’s schizophrenia is more severe and everyone has some form of it whether they recognize it or not. The aware person can tell they have different personalities or egos while the schizophrenic has lost control of all his ego states I believe. He not only can’t recognize it but doesn’t know who should respond and when.
Instead of parent, child, and adult you can also split relational transactions into other ways? Superego -> parent ego -> adult id -> child? altruistic -> parent?? mutual -> adult?? selfish -> child?? put yourself above your partner -> parent talk as equals -> adult?? talk as if partner is above you -> child?? Three souls(minds) -> reptile brain -> emotions (hunger, safety, temperature, sex) (id) primate brain -> social standing & altruism (superego?, but not really) human brain (corpus collosum) -> rationalism (ego)
TA was good to Dr Berne. He sold over 5 million books, bought a new house, remarried, and got a Masarati. But seriously, it is a very practical approach to looking at complex relationships. If anything, its downfall is it oversimplifies things.
I was going to make a comment disputing Berne’s point about anger, but upon reflection I wonder if there *are* people who just *can’t have* ego-syntonic anger. I can only very rarely have ego-syntonic acute fear, and it’s frustrating to talk to people for whom that’s a regular occurence, because their “trust your fear” advice seems so malicious [but it’s not! they’re just typical-minding!], and yet I’m pretty sure my *anger* helps me routinely. Anyway great theory
Too simple to look at the parent as the superego, the adult as the ego and the child as the id? More recently, I guess we might apply the wise mind approach too as a comparable model.
I would guess that TA is not popular with feminists who delight in collecting "angry stamps". I love the book but when I listen to so many feminists I start matching them to different games in it. Needless to I have divorced feminism but that's another story.
it looks strange that you have the very handsome and relaxed looking open interviewer and you have the rather tight professional mental health professional who spends the interview with his legs together and plays with his hands under the table. It sort of suggests that Berne is uncomfortable with himself, has to hide part of himself. What part of the transaction are we observing? is it a transaction? it seems off to the side of the transaction. So berne transacts in a nervous fidgiting manner. Is it allowable to comment on this behaviour in TA? I am supposing not. Ah his hands have appeared at 12 minutes! Maybe he is conscious all that hand waving is not contributing to what he is saying........
The model exists to help laymen get insight. Being aware of the model isn't the same thing as mastering the model, and the model can be an oversimplification yet still be useful.
In the other parts (Practice Part 1) he was slightly arrogant. It seemed odd, how can someone who analyzes others be himself arrogant? Arrogance is a sign of a person who's not self-aware or healthy.
Not everything is deeply layered. It’s probably simple, interview nerves and as well as fidgeting to help one think. I tend to do the same thing but with pacing, helps me piece together my thoughts. Over analyzing can actually leave room for delusion.
![เปิด อาณาจักร หมื่นล้าน "สาระตั้ม" l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3XE0nPF4YkQ/mqdefault.jpg)
what i love about the book, aside from the actual subject, is the humourous and easily understood approach, like "anger is a racket", when you look at something like anger, being told to calm down is useless, but you if you can realise you are falling for your OWN confidence trick, the logic is undeniable and even the perpetrator no longer wants to be involved with anger. great book, i tell everyone i meet to read it, imma mr murgatroyd!!
8:44 - YES, THANK YOU!! One of my favorite parts of Berne’s theory is that he gets the difference between high-level hardware modes and subordinate software “roles” just about right.
It's Frightening just how Shallow this culture is- And Bernes's book was Written FIFTY years ago- Before Reagan, Limbaugh, Manson, Jim Jones, MTV etc.
I found this book in a little thrift store years ago. What a great find it was.
How does this not have more views???
You know its the end of times when a video like this has 48,000 views and some of these pop stars offering their opinion about fashion or BUTT twerking videos or people humiliating themselves or something even more useless has millions of views
Time never ends, time just is
That is the "Matrix" and those are the people living in it man, sucks for them! Can always try to wake people up, but it don't always go as you hope.
The book " Games People Play" sold more than 5 million copies.
bought 1 yesterday ;)
@@blackdaan what are your thoughts on it? Elaborate
@@JJ-vp3bd well i love ta.. I know it well before i bought the book. Basics of ta are really great. It explains all conflicts in conversation. And how to avoid it. But also is a great way for reflecting on your self. What are your social flaws, and what are your values, what do you hate etc. It explains allot about yourself. And if you look at all the ways of how you talk, than you also know what you trigger. And than you also learn allot about parenting. For example an controlling parent is very judgemental and triggers controlled child state "emotions": , passive, complaining, anger, fighting. While an nurturing parent style triggers, creative, spontaneous, happy. On the other hand controlling parent could also trigger a follower, someone who wants everything good, and on time. An nurturing parent could also trigger fickle, someone who crosses boundaries.
I think ta. If you fully understand it covers a huge parts of understanding people and psychology.
The book is for me a way to get deeper into the games. And everything behind those games.
In my opinion the example would mean that one was in the "Adult" and did not succumb to "getting angry" rather defuses the situation. My teacher, Dr. Franklin Ernst, taught that if one can remain in the "adult" for three transactions, the person can respond in the Adult. Eric Berne states that anger is a "racket" and rarely does any good. Anger is always a "Child" or a "Parent" reaction.
I had read all of his books. But what if... there are situations with people who are very... addicted to playing games and like to stay in their non-Adult states all the time... Did you think that feeding them to their own sometimes might be the only way to move forward in the given situation? I understand such an interaction might have a very, very weak boundary between this being a somewhat "therapeutic" transaction and just a mere ego self-stroking... But sometimes, there are situations, where your instincts (which anger certainly seems to be one of) are the best tool you have...
@@dante4d Yes to the controlled angry adult! (If you're a parent you'll understand.)
Wow. I never heard of this man or this book. But now I'm all in and I completely understand why I also value Jordan Peterson's information. I love TH-cam. ❤
I was about to get mad because I thought this video was a repost of the one I just watched. They're different but filmed at the same time, I guess: th-cam.com/video/NBO38HqQTgI/w-d-xo.html
God blessd him,he made very simple and useful model for every mankind timeless in any place.
Love Dr Eric's comment" The breast is not a part of me". But how about: The Penis is not a part of me either! :) Is our society ready for that statement? :) Love Dr Eric Burn's books. May he rest in peace.
Are you saying you no longer pursue sexual pleasures? Monks have been doing this for years.
Berne talks about intimacy as meaning a game free relationship. He also talks about something called autonomy meaning doing what you want to do and not just what you are told to. He is of course talking about voices in your head from long ago. Today this has a negative connotation but as he say’s schizophrenia is more severe and everyone has some form of it whether they recognize it or not. The aware person can tell they have different personalities or egos while the schizophrenic has lost control of all his ego states I believe. He not only can’t recognize it but doesn’t know who should respond and when.
Very beautifully and succintly described. Thanks for refreshing my memory on Berne's conceptions.
Of course. It isn’t easy.
Instead of parent, child, and adult you can also split relational transactions into other ways?
Superego -> parent
ego -> adult
id -> child?
altruistic -> parent??
mutual -> adult??
selfish -> child??
put yourself above your partner -> parent
talk as equals -> adult??
talk as if partner is above you -> child??
Three souls(minds) ->
reptile brain -> emotions (hunger, safety, temperature, sex) (id)
primate brain -> social standing & altruism (superego?, but not really)
human brain (corpus collosum) -> rationalism (ego)
Good contribuiton, Thanks!
Thanks!!
Good comment
Thank you!
Like it.
Insightful video.
Thanks for this
"there aint half been some clever bastards"..ian dury..
TA was good to Dr Berne. He sold over 5 million books, bought a new house, remarried, and got a Masarati. But seriously, it is a very practical approach to looking at complex relationships. If anything, its downfall is it oversimplifies things.
how does it oversimplify things?
book was really insightful into the psyche of human creme eggs...cool stuff
11:19 richard dawkins wearing a shirt that says “WE ARE ALL second-handers”. flip him around and it says on the back “nihil supernum tho”
What do you mean?
MAN! Aren't you Chomsky's brother?
I was going to make a comment disputing Berne’s point about anger, but upon reflection I wonder if there *are* people who just *can’t have* ego-syntonic anger.
I can only very rarely have ego-syntonic acute fear, and it’s frustrating to talk to people for whom that’s a regular occurence, because their “trust your fear” advice seems so malicious [but it’s not! they’re just typical-minding!], and yet I’m pretty sure my *anger* helps me routinely.
Anyway great theory
The thing that bothered me, some might think strangely, is how often he took his eyes off the road, to look at his companion - crazy!
Dr. Berne made lasting and significant contributions to the field of being a huge nerd
What do you mean?
@@danielpasterp5837 I wanted attention 😔
Love the psychedelix 60s intro
enlightenment
Smart funny book.
Too simple to look at the parent as the superego, the adult as the ego and the child as the id? More recently, I guess we might apply the wise mind approach too as a comparable model.
So deep
I would guess that TA is not popular with feminists who delight in collecting "angry stamps". I love the book but when I listen to so many feminists I start matching them to different games in it. Needless to I have divorced feminism but that's another story.
❤️❤️❤️
Hello
👍
He sounds like R.P.Feynman
Thanks _/\_
I would not agry that bei things like genocide, you can get angry
hubba hubba the interviewer
🧚🏻♂️🌌🦅
it looks strange that you have the very handsome and relaxed looking open interviewer and you have the rather tight professional mental health professional who spends the interview with his legs together and plays with his hands under the table. It sort of suggests that Berne is uncomfortable with himself, has to hide part of himself. What part of the transaction are we observing? is it a transaction? it seems off to the side of the transaction. So berne transacts in a nervous fidgiting manner. Is it allowable to comment on this behaviour in TA? I am supposing not. Ah his hands have appeared at 12 minutes! Maybe he is conscious all that hand waving is not contributing to what he is saying........
The model exists to help laymen get insight. Being aware of the model isn't the same thing as mastering the model, and the model can be an oversimplification yet still be useful.
I wonder which ego state you most recognise in your comment. I think i can identify it, but I wonder I your observation is in agreement.
Maybe he's not used to being interviewed on tape!
In the other parts (Practice Part 1) he was slightly arrogant. It seemed odd, how can someone who analyzes others be himself arrogant? Arrogance is a sign of a person who's not self-aware or healthy.
Not everything is deeply layered. It’s probably simple, interview nerves and as well as fidgeting to help one think. I tend to do the same thing but with pacing, helps me piece together my thoughts.
Over analyzing can actually leave room for delusion.
I'm reading his book at the moment .I wouldn't rate it well at all .