Narc Repellent Ingredients : 1 full cup of life 2 1/2 cups Self esteem 2 cups Self respect 1 1/2 cup introspection 1 cup of memory of authentic boundaries 1 cup of honesty Add all ingredients together and bake in the sun, sprinkle generously with love, season with truth to taste, keep in a Narc-tight container. Radiate daily to keep fresh. 😉
This is huge! Huge revelation! Ive dimmed my life to avoid narcs being jealous, how stupid I was. I live my life authentically now with happiness. You are all worthy to stand your ground. Live your life free from fear. Don't fear death. Live to the fullest. Be brave.
It's a bit more than that, in truth - we don't need them when we are authentic and real, and it's our 'realness' that they shy away from because they need to be able to play games; when we're authentic, we don't play games or pretend, ourselves. Which means we are not 'Narc fodder'! :) .
And it's about loving oneself totally, so we trust ourselves and in our ability to stand on our own two feet, and can take really good care of ourselves. We don't 'need' someone else to 'complete' us. We meet our own needs rather than look outside of ourselves for that.
I would not agree, narcs Really don't care. We are not scared and we make a truth you can't deal with. Your Truth means nothing to us. Will we pass over someone who would challenge us? No sometimes the drama they create is enough to entertain us and feel us energy. This is truth from a narc.
Only if it's the truth, that we are 'fearless'! Most people have fear - it's human. Narcs don't do 'human' - so if you are pretending you are fearless, even if you are acting it out really well - don't kid yourself, they will see straight through you & know exactly how to manipulate you!
I dimmed my light with my narc, because he would either steal it or beat me down and criticize, make fun of or crush me. He put his depression and anxiety and hatred into me and then I was so down and crushed I felt like I was dying. I was frozen. I was catatonic. It was the most horrific depression and illness. And I have never been a depressed person. Terrible trauma, abuse and heartless people. So happy to be free! I am so happy again! It took me a week of praying, and learning and listening. Improved so quickly! I came out of the depression the first day of breakup. I felt the energy and happiness that my body creates surge through my body the Very Day that I was free from him. Then another week of praying, learning and growing and journaling and I am back to my own happy, energetic, positive person! I thank God and my dear family for seeing what I could not so that I could realize the truth and break up. Thank you also for these wonderful videos, to learn and protect ourselves for the future as well as understanding what has occurred in our lives with these abusive people
I have noticed in a group setting how the narcs sneer at happy confident people who aren’t afraid to be themselves or speak their opinions even though the narcs can’t wait to contradict them and devalue their comments. The stable confident person is unfazed by the narcs negativity. I also noticed when the stable person leaves the room the narc proceeds to backbite that person because they’re jealous of their good qualities. The narc can’t unsurp their supposed superiority over this one so the narc needs to devalue this person. I also notice that timid people associate with narcs and too scared to disagree with them.
You are an angel. I have been surrounded by these people since birth. I am 53, don't have a penny to my name and no property. I am on the verge of breakdown and they are converging. I feel like I am on the front line of a war zone. I am singing, praising and trying to start my writing career. And yes, I now say no. No. No. 🤗
I was married to a man with borderline personality. I've read all the books on it. These videos are really clarifying what happened and why. I stayed away from men for 18 years after my divorce. When I became whole and happy again, I met someone and came to love him deeply. However, I knew in my heart that I could never really be myself with him. After he rejected me, which came after much attention from him mixed with cool moodiness, he wrote me a letter which proved to me that he did not take responsibility for his level of pursuit of me. In fact he basically told me that it was all me and in my own head. I finally moved to another state and am now over him. It took a couple of years. Thank you so much for helping me to see that it was my LIGHT that attracted these men. My therapist told me it was and I didn't really believe it because of a lifetime of self worth issues. Out of the mouths of two witnesses, so they say. I am now ready to be a narc repellent. I intend to be myself no matter what. Even if it means being alone for the rest of my life. Many thanks. I just discovered your videos last week and plan on watching them all and following their counsel. Now I know why Jesus Christ the Savior told us to be a light unto the world and to not hide our light under a bushel basket, and that a light on a hill cannot be hid. Keep up the good work. Deborah
I agree in that the only way to survive is to have no contact. Continuing in a narcissistic relationship is not only toxic but it will destroy your self worth. They will never change and the more you try to expose them the worst they become.. Once you get over the emptiness of that person no longer in your life the weight lifted off your emotions is the beginning of your freedom. Thank you Melanie
You exposed your true self in this video, when you thru the pillow at the cat and said I am just being authentic. I am no longer doing retakes, just being myself. This video came from the heart and it went to mine. Thank you Melanie!!!
If someone I meet sets off my NarcDar I go out of my way to give them NO attention good or bad. I become Captain boring not responding to their attention seeking bad behavior or comments and they slither away looking for a codependent.
I signed divorce papers which goes before the judge tomorrow. Narc husband decided to pay me a lump sum alimony rather than a monthly amount because he said he didn't want me in his life!!! What did I do to repel him? Mind you, I'm not complaining bc I don't ever want to experience this level and frequency of toxicity ever again! So, I'm going to get what I can, and stay the h___ away from him. Your vids have helped me through this period of transcendence. TY, Melanie.💜
The world is our mirror. We are constantly looking to the outside world to reflect back to us our self worth. Give me this title so I know I am worthy and important. Tell me I’m beautiful so I know I am lovable. However, this world is nothing but a projection of our inner state, our internal emotional composition. To chase something like validation in a projected image is like trying to grab water in a desert mirage. If we close our eyes and look inward, you will see the source of that projection. The true image. The true self.
+BhavZ When we can embrace pleasure or displeasure the same then we have mastered harmonious living. This is a life long journey. Good and Evil both have purpose. Naturally we set boundaries. We protect ourselves with inner strength. We are anchored and do not react impulsively. Perhaps at some point, we can even show a distant compassion or feel sympathy towards those who are destructive. I feel blessed that I have been given the capacity to look inward claim my flaws without excuses and begin to heal.
Just laughed out loud with cat situation, love your authenticity and your videos are so helpful. I'm in narcissistic infested waters right now...need to work on myself.
haha loved when you suddenly attacked the poor cat, it was sooo authentic! besides, all your talking makes so much sense... If you see a narc, or when you see one, know that there won't be a radiant, happy, truthfull and authentic person around. You just entered a dark zone. Even when they seem to be around someone like this, they are faking it, not actually interacting with them, like in a show, they just attend to it, they never make part of it for real because this would probaby expose them. The ALWAYS project and if you ever ask something like what are their thoughts about something, or how do they feel, they just deflect the questions, ALWAYS, never talking about themselves. He will die before someone can really know he is empty.
Bruno -you pinpoint it!! You'll never get to know him....and watch out with which kind of people and on which level he interacts with them. No friends at all ...and the buddies where alcoholics (like him) and drug addicts and dealers, ex-prisoners and other shady kind of people, thats what I noticed. And around normal same aged couples he played the nice and caring family father and partner... and privat with me at home the bad moodes asshole or totally ignored me! just sickening!!
Thank you Mel for all your videos! I’ve watched SO many of them, and they are wonderfully enlightening. I’ve come out of a narcissistic relationship about 8 months ago, and it’s been a rough road of recovery. I told this woman several months ago I had a hard time trusting her. EVERYTHING was about her needs. Something was off way in the beginning, and I had a gut feeling I was being used. But, I stayed in the relationship thinking I have to accept people for who they are, and I should alter my expectations, and needs. You really hit home with me in this video when you said there is zero need to trust anyone. We just have to really trust ourselves. After all the videos I’ve watched of yours... and I love them all... that statement and what followed made me WAKE UP, and I think to see the light about the next steps toward my healing. I think I FINALLY got it that I need to heal from within, and trust myself FULLY again. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. You’ve helped me beyond words, and I can’t thank you enough!
The only thing I'd add is, When people first become aware of what's going on, the first empowering stage is to LEARN all about exactly what narcissism is. This is 'contrast', an important stage not to hurry through but to embrace. To push through it before you've learned more about it can leave the target in a state of ignorance.... Learn exactly what you don't want in your life, then put all your energy into what you DO want.
Melanie, you just beautifully explained the key to what I have been searching for for a long time. You answered my biggest question which is regarding the navigation of future people in my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. This is the first time I've ever felt compelled to leave a TH-cam comment anywhere, because there are many pieces of ideas and beliefs already inside me that you've just tied into one new, neat and clear perspective. My many life lessons on this subject and introspection and trying to figure it out have brought me to the place of finally being able to believe in bounty, trust my gut, and shine my true authentic light. I appreciate this video immensely.
I just wanted to say THANK YOU! These videos have been incredibly helpful and i'm using self-love, self-approval and self-security like three pillars of hope that will eventually lift me out of patterns that keep me in abusive situations. And ironically I think its helping my partner as well. The more i seem to be focusing on myself the more he is focusing on himself. As always, the best way to help other people is to help yourself. Bizarre but true!
Excellent! I think I'm a narcissist repellent and I did it instinctively. Thank you for this video as it's made it clear why my narc MIL has backed off like the shrivelled vampire you describe :-) I will continue to shine!
I checked and challenged mine at every turn an berated him sooo bad that he ran after the beginning of the 2nd cycle. I'm generally strong, a fighter and don't take any crap. I would not suggest this for anyone. I stood in MY truth, but it still left scars that took me 3 months to recover from. Good for you!
Thank you for this video! Here, here! Narcissist want people to revolve around them and serve their ego. Narcissists hate people who won't buy into that need. Beware, however, if you repel narcissists and know someone whom the narcissist is attracted to, they will try to tear you down and destroy you. Be strong and be your own person and don't cower in their presence.
You speak the truth. 😁 My ex narc went into a narc rage when I graduated college, hung with friends, or even had a good day working out or doing art...because he wasn't the center of my world! Years of searching for the why's of his behavior led me to the narc support community here.
+Troy I had to deal with a really bad one within the last 6 or 7 years (not anyone I was in a relationship with). And have dealt with quite a few in the past. I did Colin Tipping's Forgiveness program that I listened to and read. When I was done w/the program, I started finding all of these resources about NPD (Melanie's video first). I ate the information up!!! Best thing I ever did!!!
+Melanie Tonia Evans Thank you Melanie! :) Most (not all) of my adult experience with narcissists have been me being the object of their hate because they sense that I see through them, therefore they show me their true face. I've been so sensitive all my life that I really let it get to me and break me down at times. I have been really working on myself the last couple of years -- with self esteem and learning how not to take the attacks so personally, and learning to flourish because they're too ridiculous for me not to. It has definitely helped.
Yes, I think they become angry if you are not a people pleaser, so they believe they can bully you into becoming one. Their thought process is that if you are not pleasing them, then you are hurting them.
Thank you for this video , I love your channel! It's so interesting we as society create narcissists by abusing them as children and with general lack of empathy in society . Then we are being hurt by them and have to "deal " with them when narcissists grow up . I think society needs to be educated how to love all children sufficiently not to have narcissism blossoming in the future.
I think what you say is very true in many cases, but I also think that it is not childhood alone.........it's very complex and I feel many are born with that pre-disposition.
Jenny Jig My sister was always a pathological liar. It got much worse in her latter teens. She drove my parents nuts! Then she started in on me, trying to get me thrown out of the family through so many increasingly hurtful methods. When that didn't work, she just started stealing from my parents. Money is her basic need.
I just told my sister yesterday..."And why have I been broke for 16 years? So I am not quite so tempting. Now isn't that ridiculous?" We had a good laugh. The bit about "how do you kill a vampire?" really moved me. Love your work, Madame.
I have been watcing your videos every week. I feel less need for approval from others and I am loving myself and being me more as time goes by. It is crazy exhilerating. Thanks, Melanie! I love this video because it told me how to live fully and shine, even around the narcissistic abusers I have always shut my true self down around. I think it will be hard to be a bright ligt around them but I know you are right. I absolutely cannot shut down around nearly everyone. Nearly everyone has some narc tendencies from hurt from their pasts. Helping them shed their false self by shining bright will be doing them a favor.
Melanie,can i thank you from my heart, for educating me on how to control narcissist abuse, which I had for over 2 years, not knowing what was happening.. The message of them feeding on us, taught me lots. I changed and no longer offered any food. Not that simple (friends involved)...but the narcissist left 2 weeks ago. He was caught out by a "friend", who questioned his story and was about to confront the story in front of all. As per your video, it explained he had to leave as his inner self was about to be exposed when the meeting went ahead. Packed and gone in one day, handshake and no drama. I couldn't have wished for better. Thank you Melanie, without your guidance, it wouldn't have happened. Peter, Australia
+Peter May You are so welcome - and that is SO true when the mask is ripped down an N HAS to go. There is nothing else they can do. Especially when the person / people involved can not get snagged into being projected / scapegoated upon. It's game over xoxo
I have had no contact with my narc for almost 2 months. I'm now starting to gain some awareness of my part to the susceptibility I have to narcissist. I do have all those fears you talked about in this video. I'm still struggling with ruminations of all the cruel and heartless treatment from her. I will go through periods where I don't think about her at all but then sometimes a small thing like seeing a candy bar I used to get for her will trigger days of anxiety, anger, and negative thoughts. It does help me to listen to you, Melanie. Focusing on solutions and how to fix myself instead of focusing on the narc. I need this kind of talk! Thank you Melanie!
+Todd Render/ narcissistic abuse survivor I am so pleased this talk helped. Todd true healing is NOT about living with and trying to manage those triggers, its about healing beyond them once and for all. Come into my next Webinar Group - truly - if you wish to do that. www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xoxo
BRAVO! This is an amazingly insightful and informative presentation. I love how you expertly use language to expound on what I think is a fairly complex set of ideas. You make things so plain and easy to embrace, and you do so with an elegance that captures and holds my attention. I hear the "science" that frames your presentation; and I feel your very deep "spirituality" that energizes the science with a clarity that is truly captivating. I hear and feel multi-levels of meaning. As I listened, I was reacting the very same as when I hear a good sermon -- smiling broadly, laughing, and repeatedly saying "Amen." I have to play this lecture at least two more times to make sure I don't miss anything. OUTSTANDING!
Thank you for this very important video. Even if you trust yourself and are strong, it can take a little time to repel a narc for the following reasons: 1. Some of the brilliant ones like a challenge 2. So,e of the stronger, smarter ones believe their self delusions of grandeur a long time and get their supply from other sources they are hiding from you. I believe what is also required is tuning into how you feel around someone and rejecting people who consistently make you feel bad confuse you or bring you down. It doesn’t matter if the label fits them or not, it’s how you feel around them.
Thank you Mel for helping me finally move towards the healing I need. This has been a wonderful resource. I can finally see that I have been a victim of narcissist abuse and can work on rebuilding myself, while leaving my narcissist husband with his load. I will never allow someone like that into my life again and will do the work to guarantee that! Blessings to you. ❤
Oh Melanie, Love, Love, Love it! I used to get trapped in life threatening relationships/trysts with Narcissists. Participating in an ongoing, daily recovery program as a permanent way of life has allowed me to shine as brightly as I was meant to but I feel I am all healed up...and therefore the most recent narcissist couldn't get ahold of me. I'm so thankful. Thank you for the work and healing you do in the world xoxoxoxoxo xxxx Brilliant. Beautiful xo xx
Melanie- Thank you so much for the work you do. I just can say how helpful you have been! You've been so insightful, it is almost scary. It is almost as if you've been peering in on my life and observing it from a distance. You're so right. Hiding is not an answer. A narcissist will come for what they believe they are entitled to. Constantly testing boundaries and sizing you up.
Another great video! I have just come to learn that I WAS in a narc relationship... I didn't know it at the time. These videos are amazing. It was 'gut feel' that you speak about so often and intuition that have really helped and guided me. Your videos Melania are a source of confirmation! Totally uplifting and inspiring. Thank you!
Thank you Melanie, this is a really valuable lesson for me, and something I need to learn. I guess I've been hiding from my real self for most of my life, which is why I've always attracted the wrong people. Now I know where to start and grow into the person I'm really meant to be without any fear of what others think of me. This has been a real wake up call, many thanks again.
Hi Mel. Brilliant video, and love cats by the way. This really resonates with me. In the past, whenever I presented my true authentic self to my narc spouse, he would simply retract into himself, but as soon as I would change the subject back to him, he would suddenly light up and could talk about himself for hours if I let him. So the vampire theory really fits here. The contrast became clear; the more vibrant my life was becoming the more darker and empty he would appear. He really was scared of the light or at best showed himself to be totally unfamiliar with it. Sad isn't it? Lots of love, Helen xxx
The narcissist is a master at stealing that light and making it their own. They will steal your authenticity and make you out to be the fraud. How I know I'm not doing it for a narcissist is when they tell me you're boring, I smile inside.
I just started the NARP healing modules a week ago- and already feeling stronger and more self partnered. I am blown away by how effective this program is at healing old wounds and I feel SO empowered ! My days are much more productive in the workplace- and in my personal life.
I am a Narc repellent however, most of my friends are not and feed the narc. The narc has pushed her way right into the center of my circle of friends and has already managed to turn a couple of my friends against me slightly by twisting things I told her in confidence before I wised up to her. I am now having to play her at her own game which goes against my true no nonsense nature. Narc feeding repulses me.
The gift my covert Narc gave me is the realization that when we don't feel supported by Life, we're all susceptible to narcissistic thinking... Mel is a genius. When you incorporate your ego in a healthy way while living for a higher good, the whole narcissism/codependent dynamic just becomes kind of irrelevant.
I think when I truly showed up as my authentic self with the ex sociopath is when he couldn't ever be his authentic self as he didn't have one, and started smearing me to his family and orchestrating my discard.I hope I remain as repellent as I became to that one...
I moved into my moms house 3 weeks ago because I have ovarian cancer.....I started watching this video because I was wondering if I should leave....I just realized she has me in a position where her friend is against me, her attorney is using g extortion on me, and she is willing to do anything to make me look bad..... but your video made me realize she would be exposed in a different environment thank you
Hi Mel: I had been following your articles and videos for over six months. I was skeptical of buying something on-line but I decided to get your modules. Everything you have ever said resonates with me, and that's how I know it to be truth. I feel like a new person. I have been struggling my whole life with codependency and narcissists. My mother is my first. Thank you from my heart for the work that you do and I love how spontaneous you are. You are the real deal and you are truly making a difference. God Bless.
Hahaha. I love that you threw the pillow. You are so necessary in my life. I am really grateful for your insight. Im always being authemtic and i dont give into the narcisist and their bull shit. I fee sool liberated.
i have been hiding my whole life, in fear..even for me to come on YT, i tried to hide it, used a different name, i was so afraid but didn't even realize it bc it was so normal for me. but you're right, i felt so bad hiding, i don't want to be afraid anymore. Thank you so much for all your help!! you are changing my life and i am so grateful!
You are simply amazing. this is the third video of yours that Ive now commented on. EVERYTHING you say instill strength and courage for me to go forward, and to learn from this experince. I gave my narc the benifit of the doubt, thinking no woman could ever act this way. Today Im free more reslinet and stronger than ever. No relationship is worth half a relationship. Your words have taught me to value myself more and to move on- youve literally saved my life. Thankyou so much.
I so needed this video. I realized how he is, worked to accept that the trauma wasn't me who did wrong but that it would happen to me for who he is. I went in protection now and realized it is changing my personality to become like him. Now I know it is just that I need to take the next step in to loving and full authenticity of myself. It all is so much steps and growth you as co-defendant going threw. It scares me to realize I am out growing my narsacist and still love him as we have 5 kids. He is seeing me growing and have acknowledged he is emotionally detached and are jealous of me seeing all these things he can't. He says that he never got to express himself as child and it all was a way to cope growing up. Such a big struggle for us at this point. I am not where I want to be in my life at this point but I know I will get there.
Thank you! So basically I need to be the old me and all problems are gone. I used to shine so bright when this person was no longer in my life. I need 'me' back and I will get 'me' back and will also count this all joy and a great lesson.Thank you again! :D
Through QFH I have found out that the best way to be a narcissist repellent is to love them unconditionally. If I truly truly love someone he/she will never hurt me back, because I am already whole. Loving them unconditionally means that they can say, behave and feel in any way they want, but I still love them as they are. True love is not narcissistic supply and eventually the only thing they can do is to love you back or run away from you.
My narc and her bestie told me they wanted things to go back like it used to be. So I went over to narcs house, and they proceeded to tell me what a worthless POS I was. I let them go on, then I started telling what they had done to me. I'm sure, after I left, that they talked about the nerve of me, accusing them of doing anything wrong. Things are not quite like they used to be. They still ignore me, but I'm not cowering down anymore.
This is awesome. This is like a pep talk. Had a bit of a difficult day and this cheered me up. If I had focused more on the negatives and on the encounter with a narcissist that happened today, it would have blown up. But I'm thankful to learn how to preserve myself.
Hallelujah!..I have looked at tons of Narcississt videos for insight..and what I've seen is destruction with each Narc codependent that deals with them, but I am a believer of a higher power that keeps me sane and undamaged by these sick sick people...I am constantly seeing more and more Narcississt everywhere as well..this is just sad of how many damaged people that there are in the world..I stayed prayed up and they cannot destroy me..I'm very secure in me and I know what I will and will not stand for and being a light the Narcississt knows they can only go so far as I am unbothered by their shaninagans .Thank God for his light that shines in us as we are very strong complete individuals indeed..thank you for sharing how to become a repellent to the Narcississt..awesome video for those who are in need of help.
LOL 14:03 I always love your videos anyway, but you throwing the pillow at your cat made me laugh and gave you bonus points from me. I grew up in a house with a cat (and a dog), and I'm a guy who likes them. Thanks for the good info on narcissism and thanks for the laugh. Tell "Tigy" to stay out of trouble.
i just left a community of ppl built around a yt channel where the main character admitted in his own words that he was being an asshole several times over, yet no one picked up on how it was targeted abuse. i disappeared with a swiftness. i thought i would have a sense of loss, but i feel much better instead. thanks for making this, as i was looking for tips on how to prevent future assholes from wasting my time and energy.
Thanks ....this is my goal....not there yet ...still into self protection and setting up boundaries ....can't wait to get where u r !!! SO NORMAL ...yay
Melanie Tonia Evans I Adore this video off All!! This was like listening to my own very story, They did come & Smash me to pieces!! I came back from It with Aveangance. Thank God. Every word you say Is So Enlightening & Explained everything to Me!! I Thank You from the Bottom Of My Heart For this Video/Knowledge. Lots Of Love!! Janette 😀🌹💕
Melanie, I am in your program but love to watch these vids too. I absolutely LOVE this one! You shine so bright and the message is so potent w you being so natural. Can all your vids can’t be like this please? Sooo refreshing and really gets in with you so real, naturally animated , talking with your hands, lots of inflection and conversational . really love you like this. Thank you so much ❤️🙏🏼🌟
Melanie, I like what you were saying about a abundant living concept that when one door in a relationship closes there is room for new experiences. I don't have to be stuck or fear I am just a snack for the next Narcissistic I run into, just being my authentic shining true self should be enough to discourage. Thanks.
Thank you Melanie, I am healing and thriving. You are really helping me to stand up for myself, and just be honest with people, and not except B.S. I am a happier person. You are wonderful. Thank you much!!!
Another wonderful video, thank you. I get such a sense of excitement and freedom from your work. Still so much growth and healing to do, yet your work always gets me back on track when I get stuck or slide back into trauma issues.
Fabulous advice! I am learning to let my light shine. Every time I did shine the former narcs in my life would try to extinguish my spirit. I fell hard...yet was not defeated. Thank you! 🌹👍
I am surrounded by narcs, but I feel like I am getting better. I don't make excuses for their behaviors. Right now, I don't feel like confronting, but just walk away and let them be who they are. These people are not close to me, just people that I have met over the past year and run into them when I am in town. What I don't like is that they seem to be nice, then bam, they say something cruel. Always catches me off guard. When I am in town and run into them, I make sure that I am extra nice to the cashier at the grocery store.
Love the NARP program so much! I've been doing it every day for the past 12 days and it's already making a huge difference. (so glad you kept the cushion-throwing in the video today)
Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck wrote a book called "People of the Lie: A Study of Human Evil." Narcissists are classic people of the lie. I LOVE THAT BOOK because it helped me understand my ex-husband and to slowly overcome the devastation by growing MYSELF. It's a fascinating read and very helpful. I highly recommend it. Melanie is spot on in "naming it," as Peck calls it. I love listening to her. She has used a perfect example to describe an emotionally healthy person's effect on a vampire narcissist.
This is one of the best you have done. It applies to me 100%. My friend say me as a soft touch. I had the Porsche etc. but she dissapeared in 3 months when I would not accept her ways. I used to point out her silly ways. And tried to help her. But. She would blaming others!,,,,,She said I was too strong. Or my light was too bright. she said she. needed more time to feel at home. What a waste of a life. She said she could not change ,her ways. when. I offered to help,
Thanks my precious friend and teacher. I'm smiling and feel like a warm blanket was put on me with your share there. I'm so excited I don't have to just settle. I take all love and smother myself in my own love for me. It's not that I'm not ready I'm rather totally enjoying my own company and my Dog of course🐩Love ya thanks for sharing exactly who you are; Every Time! Nancy Adams Canada
Wow, ive seen this happen, a narc shrivelling and being absolutely reppelled from 2 mins with an authentic radiant person. I didn't realise what was happening at the time but now i do, its awesome!!
Being a "badass" (infinite waters diving deep "badass") is good narcissist repellent but they will also test you alot. Probe you for weak spots. Just give them the silent treatment if they do.
Most people who talk about narcissism and narc abuse JUST DON'T GET IT from a spiritual/energetic angle (which is the only angle that matters). They're all about dissecting the narcissist which is also part of the rabbit hole and ego game which the logical mind plays. Melanie I think you are the only one who truly shows what's going on and the purpose of narcissistic abuse. There is a PURPOSE to this, the soul contract. They're not demons out to get us. The only other youtuber I have seen who talks about sociopaths being our spiritual teachers triggering our old wounds to heal is Tobias Lars. It has all helped me immensely, Pls keep it going!
I don't relate to her as much. My life experience was very different from hers, which is not unusual. She is has only the very narrow view of her own experience. There is a big big world out there and this as many different manifestations. Environment, disposition, external support, and whether the abuse was neglect, constant criticism, physical, sexual, etc... all come into play.
+BhavZ Teal Swan has some really good stuff about narcissism and self love too. I do not agree with many of her current life choices and she still has a lot of healing to do, but her description of narcissism and self love are really good. Melanie is spot-on about narcissism.
+Pat vulk I don't agree. The narcs behavior depends on your behavior, as she admits in this vid. Not all of us have the luxury that we don't have to deal with the narcs - they're the father to our children, our mother, our sister, our boss, etc... She's self employed and does not appear to have children. This is very dangerous advice she's giving. I was always very confident, strong, mature, happy etc... When I was young, I was an underachiever and unattractive. As I got older I became more and more successful and more attractive. This made me more and more of a target and eventually targeted my kids because they couldn't get to me. They will try and destroy your marriage too. Her experience and advice is too narrow.
+Don L I don't care for him much either. He's a narc so be careful. Plus I want practical. Self Care Haven is good and she just wrote a book. So is Spartan Life Coach.
I love the Tiggy part. Your authenticity came through and I loved it hahahahaha. This segment points to a way to understand how at the time when we met our Narcs we may have thought we were assertive but if we got involved with them it goes to show our assertiveness wasn't authentic at all and they saw this. Perhaps they can see through the veneer that we create. Maybe their antenna pick up on fake feelings of assertiveness, confidence, etc.
+Dyan O'Neil Ohhhhhh yes there is no "covering over" our emotional composition with trying to TRICK N's (or Life for that matter). Energy composition create energetic results - point blank. xox
You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I hope to use my experience to turn into something positive not only for myself but others as well. You truly found you life's purpose.
There was more good stuff in this video than I could absorb in one viewing, so I'm going to watch this a few times until I can really internalize the wisdom which I recognize as truth with my mind and want to get with my heart. thank you, Melanie
I absolutely just loved seeing you, being you in this video...... I'm new at watching Narc video's and have only seen your new ones until I ran across this one. You made me laugh with your adorable pillow toss, which I needed desperately, and was quite surprised after seeing your more serious new videos. Glad to see you're human. Very attractive.......
Thank you cryuptocoinscafe, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Sometimes a bit of brevity goes a long way. I am absolutely, very human. Love and blessings xoxox
This lady is brilliant. You can spend a fortune on therapy and never get what she gives you in a half hour. I wish I had more time to listen to her.
understanding intellectually is one thing but it takes growth and experience to get there.
working through our "stuff" gets it on a gut level.
kevphillips02 Right on. And it is worth it!
She really knows her stuff! Invaluable information!
so true!
I agree,she is really good!
Narc Repellent Ingredients :
1 full cup of life
2 1/2 cups Self esteem
2 cups Self respect
1 1/2 cup introspection
1 cup of memory of authentic boundaries
1 cup of honesty
Add all ingredients together and bake in the sun, sprinkle generously with love, season with truth to taste, keep in a Narc-tight container. Radiate daily to keep fresh. 😉
Just value yourself and have strong boundaries .
+ty cromwell Agree !
I agree strong boundaries are a weapon to the spoiled, self entitled narc.
I don't think it's true that all narcs are spoiled
This is huge! Huge revelation! Ive dimmed my life to avoid narcs being jealous, how stupid I was. I live my life authentically now with happiness. You are all worthy to stand your ground. Live your life free from fear. Don't fear death. Live to the fullest. Be brave.
so true. being authentic scares narcs. they can't handle the truth.
It's a bit more than that, in truth - we don't need them when we are authentic and real, and it's our 'realness' that they shy away from because they need to be able to play games; when we're authentic, we don't play games or pretend, ourselves. Which means we are not 'Narc fodder'! :)
.
And it's about loving oneself totally, so we trust ourselves and in our ability to stand on our own two feet, and can take really good care of ourselves. We don't 'need' someone else to 'complete' us. We meet our own needs rather than look outside of ourselves for that.
I would not agree, narcs Really don't care. We are not scared and we make a truth you can't deal with. Your Truth means nothing to us. Will we pass over someone who would challenge us? No sometimes the drama they create is enough to entertain us and feel us energy. This is truth from a narc.
lack of fear is the key.
Only if it's the truth, that we are 'fearless'! Most people have fear - it's human. Narcs don't do 'human' - so if you are pretending you are fearless, even if you are acting it out really well - don't kid yourself, they will see straight through you & know exactly how to manipulate you!
I dimmed my light with my narc, because he would either steal it or beat me down and criticize, make fun of or crush me.
He put his depression and anxiety and hatred into me and then I was so down and crushed I felt like I was dying.
I was frozen. I was catatonic.
It was the most horrific depression and illness.
And I have never been a depressed person.
Terrible trauma, abuse and heartless people.
So happy to be free! I am so happy again!
It took me a week of praying, and learning and listening. Improved so quickly! I came out of the depression the first day of breakup. I felt the energy and happiness that my body creates surge through my body the Very Day that I was free from him.
Then another week of praying, learning and growing and journaling and I am back to my own happy, energetic, positive person! I thank God and my dear family for seeing what I could not so that I could realize the truth and break up.
Thank you also for these wonderful videos, to learn and protect ourselves for the future as well as understanding what has occurred in our lives with these abusive people
I have noticed in a group setting how the narcs sneer at happy confident people who aren’t afraid to be themselves or speak their opinions even though the narcs can’t wait to contradict them and devalue their comments. The stable confident person is unfazed by the narcs negativity. I also noticed when the stable person leaves the room the narc proceeds to backbite that person because they’re jealous of their good qualities. The narc can’t unsurp their supposed superiority over this one so the narc needs to devalue this person. I also notice that timid people associate with narcs and too scared to disagree with them.
You are an angel. I have been surrounded by these people since birth. I am 53, don't have a penny to my name and no property. I am on the verge of breakdown and they are converging. I feel like I am on the front line of a war zone. I am singing, praising and trying to start my writing career. And yes, I now say no. No. No. 🤗
I was married to a man with borderline personality. I've read all the books on it. These videos are really clarifying what happened and why. I stayed away from men for 18 years after my divorce. When I became whole and happy again, I met someone and came to love him deeply. However, I knew in my heart that I could never really be myself with him. After he rejected me, which came after much attention from him mixed with cool moodiness, he wrote me a letter which proved to me that he did not take responsibility for his level of pursuit of me. In fact he basically told me that it was all me and in my own head. I finally moved to another state and am now over him. It took a couple of years.
Thank you so much for helping me to see that it was my LIGHT that attracted these men. My therapist told me it was and I didn't really believe it because of a lifetime of self worth issues. Out of the mouths of two witnesses, so they say.
I am now ready to be a narc repellent. I intend to be myself no matter what. Even if it means being alone for the rest of my life.
Many thanks. I just discovered your videos last week and plan on watching them all and following their counsel.
Now I know why Jesus Christ the Savior told us to be a light unto the world and to not hide our light under a bushel basket, and that a light on a hill cannot be hid.
Keep up the good work.
Deborah
Great insightvee:letting your light shine!
I agree in that the only way to survive is to have no contact. Continuing in a narcissistic relationship is not only toxic but it will destroy your self worth. They will never change and the more you try to expose them the worst they become.. Once you get over the emptiness of that person no longer in your life the weight lifted off your emotions is the beginning of your freedom.
Thank you Melanie
Yes no contact is the only contact. Also feeding their cheerleaders bullshit is a good idea
You exposed your true self in this video, when you thru the pillow at the cat and said I am just being authentic. I am no longer doing retakes, just being myself. This video came from the heart and it went to mine. Thank you Melanie!!!
If someone I meet sets off my NarcDar I go out of my way to give them NO attention good or bad. I become Captain boring not responding to their attention seeking bad behavior or comments and they slither away looking for a codependent.
I walked back into my house when the big dildo showed up..he went by after four days andhonked at me in his New car..hoovered..sick of his bullshit
That's the way to do it!
I signed divorce papers which goes before the judge tomorrow. Narc husband decided to pay me a lump sum alimony rather than a monthly amount because he said he didn't want me in his life!!! What did I do to repel him? Mind you, I'm not complaining bc I don't ever want to experience this level and frequency of toxicity ever again! So, I'm going to get what I can, and stay the h___ away from him. Your vids have helped me through this period of transcendence. TY, Melanie.💜
The world is our mirror. We are constantly looking to the outside world to reflect back to us our self worth. Give me this title so I know I am worthy and important. Tell me I’m beautiful so I know I am lovable. However, this world is nothing but a projection of our inner state, our internal emotional composition. To chase something like validation in a projected image is like trying to grab water in a desert mirage. If we close our eyes and look inward, you will see the source of that projection. The true image. The true self.
+BhavZ
When we can embrace pleasure or displeasure the same then we have mastered harmonious living. This is a life long journey. Good and Evil both have purpose. Naturally we set boundaries. We protect ourselves with inner strength. We are anchored and do not react impulsively. Perhaps at some point, we can even show a distant compassion or feel sympathy towards those who are destructive. I feel blessed that I have been given the capacity to look inward claim my flaws without excuses and begin to heal.
+BhavZ Very, very true!! xoxox
+Maryrose Jobst Again soon true! xoxo
exactly!
Just laughed out loud with cat situation, love your authenticity and your videos are so helpful. I'm in narcissistic infested waters right now...need to work on myself.
haha loved when you suddenly attacked the poor cat, it was sooo authentic! besides, all your talking makes so much sense... If you see a narc, or when you see one, know that there won't be a radiant, happy, truthfull and authentic person around. You just entered a dark zone. Even when they seem to be around someone like this, they are faking it, not actually interacting with them, like in a show, they just attend to it, they never make part of it for real because this would probaby expose them. The ALWAYS project and if you ever ask something like what are their thoughts about something, or how do they feel, they just deflect the questions, ALWAYS, never talking about themselves. He will die before someone can really know he is empty.
Bruno -you pinpoint it!! You'll never get to know him....and watch out with which kind of people and on which level he interacts with them. No friends at all ...and the buddies where alcoholics (like him) and drug addicts and dealers, ex-prisoners and other shady kind of people, thats what I noticed.
And around normal same aged couples he played the nice and caring family father and partner... and privat with me at home the bad moodes asshole or totally ignored me! just sickening!!
Cats are narcissists!
Thank you Mel for all your videos! I’ve watched SO many of them, and they are wonderfully enlightening. I’ve come out of a narcissistic relationship about 8 months ago, and it’s been a rough road of recovery. I told this woman several months ago I had a hard time trusting her. EVERYTHING was about her needs. Something was off way in the beginning, and I had a gut feeling I was being used. But, I stayed in the relationship thinking I have to accept people for who they are, and I should alter my expectations, and needs. You really hit home with me in this video when you said there is zero need to trust anyone. We just have to really trust ourselves. After all the videos I’ve watched of yours... and I love them all... that statement and what followed made me WAKE UP, and I think to see the light about the next steps toward my healing. I think I FINALLY got it that I need to heal from within, and trust myself FULLY again. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. You’ve helped me beyond words, and I can’t thank you enough!
The only thing I'd add is, When people first become aware of what's going on, the first empowering stage is to LEARN all about exactly what narcissism is. This is 'contrast', an important stage not to hurry through but to embrace. To push through it before you've learned more about it can leave the target in a state of ignorance.... Learn exactly what you don't want in your life, then put all your energy into what you DO want.
Love the idea of abundant beliefs. It helps with the anxiety that living with a narcissist leaves you with.
Melanie, you just beautifully explained the key to what I have been searching for for a long time. You answered my biggest question which is regarding the navigation of future people in my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. This is the first time I've ever felt compelled to leave a TH-cam comment anywhere, because there are many pieces of ideas and beliefs already inside me that you've just tied into one new, neat and clear perspective. My many life lessons on this subject and introspection and trying to figure it out have brought me to the place of finally being able to believe in bounty, trust my gut, and shine my true authentic light. I appreciate this video immensely.
Thank you for your lovely comment and I am so pleased that this deeply resonated and unlocked truths for you xoxox
I just wanted to say THANK YOU! These videos have been incredibly helpful and i'm using self-love, self-approval and self-security like three pillars of hope that will eventually lift me out of patterns that keep me in abusive situations. And ironically I think its helping my partner as well. The more i seem to be focusing on myself the more he is focusing on himself. As always, the best way to help other people is to help yourself. Bizarre but true!
Excellent! I think I'm a narcissist repellent and I did it instinctively. Thank you for this video as it's made it clear why my narc MIL has backed off like the shrivelled vampire you describe :-) I will continue to shine!
I checked and challenged mine at every turn an berated him sooo bad that he ran after the beginning of the 2nd cycle. I'm generally strong, a fighter and don't take any crap. I would not suggest this for anyone. I stood in MY truth, but it still left scars that took me 3 months to recover from. Good for you!
Thank you for this video! Here, here! Narcissist want people to revolve around them and serve their ego. Narcissists hate people who won't buy into that need. Beware, however, if you repel narcissists and know someone whom the narcissist is attracted to, they will try to tear you down and destroy you. Be strong and be your own person and don't cower in their presence.
You speak the truth. 😁
My ex narc went into a narc rage when I graduated college, hung with friends, or even had a good day working out or doing art...because he wasn't the center of my world!
Years of searching for the why's of his behavior led me to the narc support community here.
+CocoAndTheBombshell Well said. It sounds like you've dealt with my sister personally. Good comment and good advice.
+Troy I had to deal with a really bad one within the last 6 or 7 years (not anyone I was in a relationship with). And have dealt with quite a few in the past. I did Colin Tipping's Forgiveness program that I listened to and read. When I was done w/the program, I started finding all of these resources about NPD (Melanie's video first). I ate the information up!!! Best thing I ever did!!!
+CocoAndTheBombshell As per my answer to Catholic Girl - not true when we have done the work ... read and truly check out my suggestion to her. xx
+Melanie Tonia Evans Thank you Melanie! :) Most (not all) of my adult experience with narcissists have been me being the object of their hate because they sense that I see through them, therefore they show me their true face. I've been so sensitive all my life that I really let it get to me and break me down at times. I have been really working on myself the last couple of years -- with self esteem and learning how not to take the attacks so personally, and learning to flourish because they're too ridiculous for me not to. It has definitely helped.
Yes, I think they become angry if you are not a people pleaser, so they believe they can bully you into becoming one. Their thought process is that if you are not pleasing them, then you are hurting them.
True.
Thank you for this video , I love your channel! It's so interesting we as society create narcissists by abusing them as children and with general lack of empathy in society . Then we are being hurt by them and have to "deal " with them when narcissists grow up . I think society needs to be educated how to love all children sufficiently not to have narcissism blossoming in the future.
I think what you say is very true in many cases, but I also think that it is not childhood alone.........it's very complex and I feel many are born with that pre-disposition.
Jenny Jig My sister was always a pathological liar. It got much worse in her latter teens. She drove my parents nuts! Then she started in on me, trying to get me thrown out of the family through so many increasingly hurtful methods. When that didn't work, she just started stealing from my parents. Money is her basic need.
joy lt , interesting point.
I just told my sister yesterday..."And why have I been broke for 16 years? So I am not quite so tempting. Now isn't that ridiculous?" We had a good laugh.
The bit about "how do you kill a vampire?" really moved me. Love your work, Madame.
I have been watcing your videos every week. I feel less need for approval from others and I am loving myself and being me more as time goes by. It is crazy exhilerating. Thanks, Melanie! I love this video because it told me how to live fully and shine, even around the narcissistic abusers I have always shut my true self down around. I think it will be hard to be a bright ligt around them but I know you are right. I absolutely cannot shut down around nearly everyone. Nearly everyone has some narc tendencies from hurt from their pasts. Helping them shed their false self by shining bright will be doing them a favor.
Melanie,can i thank you from my heart, for educating me on how to control narcissist abuse, which I had for over 2 years, not knowing what was happening..
The message of them feeding on us, taught me lots. I changed and no longer offered any food.
Not that simple (friends involved)...but the narcissist left 2 weeks ago.
He was caught out by a "friend", who questioned his story and was about to confront the story in front of all.
As per your video, it explained he had to leave as his inner self was about to be exposed when the meeting went ahead.
Packed and gone in one day, handshake and no drama. I couldn't have wished for better.
Thank you Melanie, without your guidance, it wouldn't have happened.
Peter, Australia
+Peter May You are so welcome - and that is SO true when the mask is ripped down an N HAS to go. There is nothing else they can do. Especially when the person / people involved can not get snagged into being projected / scapegoated upon. It's game over xoxo
My husband is a narc. The last year of my life has been a living hell. This is so enlightening, it made me cry.
I have had no contact with my narc for almost 2 months. I'm now starting to gain some awareness of my part to the susceptibility I have to narcissist. I do have all those fears you talked about in this video. I'm still struggling with ruminations of all the cruel and heartless treatment from her. I will go through periods where I don't think about her at all but then sometimes a small thing like seeing a candy bar I used to get for her will trigger days of anxiety, anger, and negative thoughts.
It does help me to listen to you, Melanie. Focusing on solutions and how to fix myself instead of focusing on the narc. I need this kind of talk! Thank you Melanie!
+Todd Render/ narcissistic abuse survivor I am so pleased this talk helped. Todd true healing is NOT about living with and trying to manage those triggers, its about healing beyond them once and for all. Come into my next Webinar Group - truly - if you wish to do that. www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xoxo
BRAVO! This is an amazingly insightful and informative presentation. I love how you expertly use language to expound on what I think is a fairly complex set of ideas. You make things so plain and easy to embrace, and you do so with an elegance that captures and holds my attention.
I hear the "science" that frames your presentation; and I feel your very deep "spirituality" that energizes the science with a clarity that is truly captivating. I hear and feel multi-levels of meaning. As I listened, I was reacting the very same as when I hear a good sermon -- smiling broadly, laughing, and repeatedly saying "Amen."
I have to play this lecture at least two more times to make sure I don't miss anything. OUTSTANDING!
Thank you for this very important video. Even if you trust yourself and are strong, it can take a little time to repel a narc for the following reasons:
1. Some of the brilliant ones like a challenge
2. So,e of the stronger, smarter ones believe their self delusions of grandeur a long time and get their supply from other sources they are hiding from you.
I believe what is also required is tuning into how you feel around someone and rejecting people who consistently make you feel bad confuse you or bring you down. It doesn’t matter if the label fits them or not, it’s how you feel around them.
You are very welcome BB, I'm so glad this helps. Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you Mel for helping me finally move towards the healing I need. This has been a wonderful resource. I can finally see that I have been a victim of narcissist abuse and can work on rebuilding myself, while leaving my narcissist husband with his load. I will never allow someone like that into my life again and will do the work to guarantee that! Blessings to you. ❤
Oh Melanie, Love, Love, Love it! I used to get trapped in life threatening relationships/trysts with Narcissists. Participating in an ongoing, daily recovery program as a permanent way of life has allowed me to shine as brightly as I was meant to but I feel I am all healed up...and therefore the most recent narcissist couldn't get ahold of me. I'm so thankful. Thank you for the work and healing you do in the world xoxoxoxoxo xxxx Brilliant. Beautiful xo xx
Thank you Amber for your lovely words, many blessings to you sister xoxox
Melanie- Thank you so much for the work you do. I just can say how helpful you have been! You've been so insightful, it is almost scary. It is almost as if you've been peering in on my life and observing it from a distance. You're so right. Hiding is not an answer. A narcissist will come for what they believe they are entitled to. Constantly testing boundaries and sizing you up.
WHEEEW THIS VIDEO IS GONNA SAVE SOMEONES LIFE!!! AND THAT SOMEONE IS ME!! What a breakthrough!!!
Such a great video, really helpful. Feel grateful to have encountered it at this exact right moment. Thank you for your loving labour!
Another great video! I have just come to learn that I WAS in a narc relationship... I didn't know it at the time. These videos are amazing. It was 'gut feel' that you speak about so often and intuition that have really helped and guided me. Your videos Melania are a source of confirmation! Totally uplifting and inspiring. Thank you!
Thank you Melanie, this is a really valuable lesson for me, and something I need to learn. I guess I've been hiding from my real self for most of my life, which is why I've always attracted the wrong people. Now I know where to start and grow into the person I'm really meant to be without any fear of what others think of me. This has been a real wake up call, many thanks again.
+Tina Kelly My pleasure!! Wonderful stuff xoxox
Hi Mel. Brilliant video, and love cats by the way. This really resonates with me. In the past, whenever I presented my true authentic self to my narc spouse, he would simply retract into himself, but as soon as I would change the subject back to him, he would suddenly light up and could talk about himself for hours if I let him. So the vampire theory really fits here. The contrast became clear; the more vibrant my life was becoming the more darker and empty he would appear. He really was scared of the light or at best showed himself to be totally unfamiliar with it. Sad isn't it? Lots of love, Helen xxx
+H Bruce Yes it is sad .... Lots of love to you too Helen xoxox
The narcissist is a master at stealing that light and making it their own. They will steal your authenticity and make you out to be the fraud. How I know I'm not doing it for a narcissist is when they tell me you're boring, I smile inside.
I love you Mel, I just discovered these videos and I am binging all day today. You gave me back the key to the prison I was stuck in. Thank you x
Exactly, we stop seeing out there what we finally own within.
I just started the NARP healing modules a week ago- and already feeling stronger and more self partnered. I am blown away by how effective this program is at healing old wounds and I feel SO empowered ! My days are much more productive in the workplace- and in my personal life.
I am a Narc repellent however, most of my friends are not and feed the narc. The narc has pushed her way right into the center of my circle of friends and has already managed to turn a couple of my friends against me slightly by twisting things I told her in confidence before I wised up to her. I am now having to play her at her own game which goes against my true no nonsense nature.
Narc feeding repulses me.
The gift my covert Narc gave me is the realization that when we don't feel supported by Life, we're all susceptible to narcissistic thinking... Mel is a genius. When you incorporate your ego in a healthy way while living for a higher good, the whole narcissism/codependent dynamic just becomes kind of irrelevant.
I think when I truly showed up as my authentic self with the ex sociopath is when he couldn't ever be his authentic self as he didn't have one, and started smearing me to his family and orchestrating my discard.I hope I remain as repellent as I became to that one...
I moved into my moms house 3 weeks ago because I have ovarian cancer.....I started watching this video because I was wondering if I should leave....I just realized she has me in a position where her friend is against me, her attorney is using g extortion on me, and she is willing to do anything to make me look bad..... but your video made me realize she would be exposed in a different environment thank you
Hi Mel: I had been following your articles and videos for over six months. I was skeptical of buying something on-line but I decided to get your modules. Everything you have ever said resonates with me, and that's how I know it to be truth. I feel like a new person. I have been struggling my whole life with codependency and narcissists. My mother is my first. Thank you from my heart for the work that you do and I love how spontaneous you are. You are the real deal and you are truly making a difference. God Bless.
+Karen DeSimone Awww I am so glad my work and NARP has helped! Bless! xoxox
Hahaha. I love that you threw the pillow. You are so necessary in my life. I am really grateful for your insight. Im always being authemtic and i dont give into the narcisist and their bull shit. I fee sool liberated.
OH, WOW!! This is powerful and good food for the soul! Thank you. You spoke pure truth to me today. I am so glad you took the time to articulate this!
"There is zero need to trust anybody, because I fully trust myself." That is key. Thank you for pointing this out.
My pleasure M Leys and I am so pleased this helped xoxo
So much wisdom here! THANK YOU.
i have been hiding my whole life, in fear..even for me to come on YT, i tried to hide it, used a different name, i was so afraid but didn't even realize it bc it was so normal for me. but you're right, i felt so bad hiding, i don't want to be afraid anymore. Thank you so much for all your help!! you are changing my life and i am so grateful!
We could try throwing a cushion at them when they start their nonsense.
You are simply amazing. this is the third video of yours that Ive now commented on. EVERYTHING you say instill strength and courage for me to go forward, and to learn from this experince. I gave my narc the benifit of the doubt, thinking no woman could ever act this way. Today Im free more reslinet and stronger than ever. No relationship is worth half a relationship. Your words have taught me to value myself more and to move on- youve literally saved my life. Thankyou so much.
I so needed this video. I realized how he is, worked to accept that the trauma wasn't me who did wrong but that it would happen to me for who he is. I went in protection now and realized it is changing my personality to become like him. Now I know it is just that I need to take the next step in to loving and full authenticity of myself. It all is so much steps and growth you as co-defendant going threw. It scares me to realize I am out growing my narsacist and still love him as we have 5 kids. He is seeing me growing and have acknowledged he is emotionally detached and are jealous of me seeing all these things he can't. He says that he never got to express himself as child and it all was a way to cope growing up. Such a big struggle for us at this point. I am not where I want to be in my life at this point but I know I will get there.
Thank you! So basically I need to be the old me and all problems are gone. I used to shine so bright when this person was no longer in my life. I need 'me' back and I will get 'me' back and will also count this all joy and a great lesson.Thank you again! :D
The article is absolutely amazing!
Through QFH I have found out that the best way to be a narcissist repellent is to love them unconditionally. If I truly truly love someone he/she will never hurt me back, because I am already whole. Loving them unconditionally means that they can say, behave and feel in any way they want, but I still love them as they are. True love is not narcissistic supply and eventually the only thing they can do is to love you back or run away from you.
My narc and her bestie told me they wanted things to go back like it used to be. So I went over to narcs house, and they proceeded to tell me what a worthless POS I was. I let them go on, then I started telling what they had done to me. I'm sure, after I left, that they talked about the nerve of me, accusing them of doing anything wrong. Things are not quite like they used to be. They still ignore me, but I'm not cowering down anymore.
This is awesome. This is like a pep talk. Had a bit of a difficult day and this cheered me up. If I had focused more on the negatives and on the encounter with a narcissist that happened today, it would have blown up. But I'm thankful to learn how to preserve myself.
Hallelujah!..I have looked at tons of Narcississt videos for insight..and what I've seen is destruction with each Narc codependent that deals with them, but I am a believer of a higher power that keeps me sane and undamaged by these sick sick people...I am constantly seeing more and more Narcississt everywhere as well..this is just sad of how many damaged people that there are in the world..I stayed prayed up and they cannot destroy me..I'm very secure in me and I know what I will and will not stand for and being a light the Narcississt knows they can only go so far as I am unbothered by their shaninagans .Thank God for his light that shines in us as we are very strong complete individuals indeed..thank you for sharing how to become a repellent to the Narcississt..awesome video for those who are in need of help.
LOL 14:03 I always love your videos anyway, but you throwing the pillow at your cat made me laugh and gave you bonus points from me. I grew up in a house with a cat (and a dog), and I'm a guy who likes them. Thanks for the good info on narcissism and thanks for the laugh. Tell "Tigy" to stay out of trouble.
i just left a community of ppl built around a yt channel where the main character admitted in his own words that he was being an asshole several times over, yet no one picked up on how it was targeted abuse. i disappeared with a swiftness. i thought i would have a sense of loss, but i feel much better instead. thanks for making this, as i was looking for tips on how to prevent future assholes from wasting my time and energy.
14:01 😂😂😂😂😂 authenticity
Thanks ....this is my goal....not there yet ...still into self protection and setting up boundaries ....can't wait to get where u r !!! SO NORMAL ...yay
+beth w Correct happiness and joy and authenticity is NORMAL - we have all been trained into abnormal ... xoxox
very true. i think women are more susceptible to it. women are catty and competitive. narc guys think women are easier targets.
Melanie Tonia Evans I Adore this video off All!! This was like listening to my own very story, They did come & Smash me to pieces!! I came back from It with Aveangance. Thank God. Every word you say Is So Enlightening & Explained everything to Me!! I Thank You from the Bottom Of My Heart For this Video/Knowledge. Lots Of Love!! Janette 😀🌹💕
WOW, OMG THANK YOU, FOR BLESSONG MY BRAIN CELLS WITH YOUR INSIGHT AND KNOWLEDGE ❤Much LOVE
TheLauren you are so welcome Dear Lady xoxox
Melanie, I am in your program but love to watch these vids too. I absolutely LOVE this one! You shine so bright and the message is so potent w you being so natural. Can all your vids can’t be like this please? Sooo refreshing and really gets in with you so real, naturally animated , talking with your hands, lots of inflection and conversational . really love you like this. Thank you so much ❤️🙏🏼🌟
I love your videos, you explain things so beautifully. Your vids have been so uplifting, thank you!
My pleasure Suzette xoxox
Melanie, I like what you were saying about a abundant living concept that when one door in a relationship closes there is room for new experiences. I don't have to be stuck or fear I am just a snack for the next Narcissistic I run into, just being my authentic shining true self should be enough to discourage. Thanks.
Thank you Melanie, I am healing and thriving. You are really helping me to stand up for myself, and just be honest with people, and not except B.S. I am a happier person. You are wonderful. Thank you much!!!
Another wonderful video, thank you. I get such a sense of excitement and freedom from your work. Still so much growth and healing to do, yet your work always gets me back on track when I get stuck or slide back into trauma issues.
+Mary Jane Pederson I am so pleased my work helps. xoxo
Fabulous advice! I am learning to let my light shine. Every time I did shine the former narcs in my life would try to extinguish my spirit. I fell hard...yet was not defeated. Thank you! 🌹👍
Truth always wins. I am spreading this video around. It outstands for its cleverness.
Melanie, I love your authenticity! :-) Your videos are wonderful, thank you for all the help you give.
+arawshi My pleasure xoxox
I am surrounded by narcs, but I feel like I am getting better. I don't make excuses for their behaviors. Right now, I don't feel like confronting, but just walk away and let them be who they are. These people are not close to me, just people that I have met over the past year and run into them when I am in town. What I don't like is that they seem to be nice, then bam, they say something cruel. Always catches me off guard. When I am in town and run into them, I make sure that I am extra nice to the cashier at the grocery store.
Love the NARP program so much! I've been doing it every day for the past 12 days and it's already making a huge difference. (so glad you kept the cushion-throwing in the video today)
+Deborah Kern That is so wonderful NARP is helping you so much! Haha so am I - remakes or editing are a big deal!! lol xoxo
This is one of the best I have watched about the subject. Thank you! I need to watch it over many times and this will make me stop attracting them.
Obviously I love your message, but I have to say that I LOVE your accent. I could listen to you all day.
Same! I escaped to Oz from my narc stepmom in US....it was what saved me. Australia was my saving grace 😇 it holds a special place in my heart
Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck wrote a book called "People of the Lie: A Study of Human Evil." Narcissists are classic people of the lie. I LOVE THAT BOOK because it helped me understand my ex-husband and to slowly overcome the devastation by growing MYSELF. It's a fascinating read and very helpful. I highly recommend it. Melanie is spot on in "naming it," as Peck calls it. I love listening to her. She has used a perfect example to describe an emotionally healthy person's effect on a vampire narcissist.
This is one of the best you have done. It applies to me 100%. My friend say me as a soft touch. I had the Porsche etc. but she dissapeared in 3 months when I would not accept her ways. I used to point out her silly ways. And tried to help her. But. She would blaming others!,,,,,She said I was too strong. Or my light was too bright. she said she. needed more time to feel at home. What a waste of a life. She said she could not change ,her ways. when. I offered to help,
Thanks my precious friend and teacher. I'm smiling and feel like a warm blanket was put on me with your share there. I'm so excited I don't have to just settle. I take all love and smother myself in my own love for me. It's not that I'm not ready I'm rather totally enjoying my own company and my Dog of course🐩Love ya thanks for sharing exactly who you are; Every Time! Nancy Adams Canada
I have too much trauma in my body and head right now to get anything from this message...35 yrs w narc and just realized what's been going on.
Wow, ive seen this happen, a narc shrivelling and being absolutely reppelled from 2 mins with an authentic radiant person. I didn't realise what was happening at the time but now i do, its awesome!!
Being a "badass" (infinite waters diving deep "badass") is good narcissist repellent but they will also test you alot. Probe you for weak spots. Just give them the silent treatment if they do.
Hahahaaaaa @14:00 "Tiggy!! ...see, I was authentic...I threw the cushion at the cat..." Ohhhaahaha I am on the floor laughing! Love it keep it up xxx
You've calmed me immensely.
💜
Most people who talk about narcissism and narc abuse JUST DON'T GET IT from a spiritual/energetic angle (which is the only angle that matters). They're all about dissecting the narcissist which is also part of the rabbit hole and ego game which the logical mind plays. Melanie I think you are the only one who truly shows what's going on and the purpose of narcissistic abuse. There is a PURPOSE to this, the soul contract. They're not demons out to get us. The only other youtuber I have seen who talks about sociopaths being our spiritual teachers triggering our old wounds to heal is Tobias Lars. It has all helped me immensely, Pls keep it going!
I don't relate to her as much. My life experience was very different from hers, which is not unusual. She is has only the very narrow view of her own experience. There is a big big world out there and this as many different manifestations. Environment, disposition, external support, and whether the abuse was neglect, constant criticism, physical, sexual, etc... all come into play.
+BhavZ Teal Swan has some really good stuff about narcissism and self love too. I do not agree with many of her current life choices and she still has a lot of healing to do, but her description of narcissism and self love are really good.
Melanie is spot-on about narcissism.
+Pat vulk I don't agree. The narcs behavior depends on your behavior, as she admits in this vid. Not all of us have the luxury that we don't have to deal with the narcs - they're the father to our children, our mother, our sister, our boss, etc... She's self employed and does not appear to have children. This is very dangerous advice she's giving. I was always very confident, strong, mature, happy etc... When I was young, I was an underachiever and unattractive. As I got older I became more and more successful and more attractive. This made me more and more of a target and eventually targeted my kids because they couldn't get to me. They will try and destroy your marriage too. Her experience and advice is too narrow.
+BhavZ I thought Sam Vaknin is good for the intellectual breakdown ;)
+Don L I don't care for him much either. He's a narc so be careful. Plus I want practical. Self Care Haven is good and she just wrote a book. So is Spartan Life Coach.
So honesty really IS the best policy!
Amazing video Melanie! Thanks again for your true self! :)
You are so welcome Chris xoxox
That was so cute! Throwing the pillow! Lol. Great video. 💕✨
I love the Tiggy part. Your authenticity came through and I loved it hahahahaha. This segment points to a way to understand how at the time when we met our Narcs we may have thought we were assertive but if we got involved with them it goes to show our assertiveness wasn't authentic at all and they saw this. Perhaps they can see through the veneer that we create. Maybe their antenna pick up on fake feelings of assertiveness, confidence, etc.
+Dyan O'Neil Ohhhhhh yes there is no "covering over" our emotional composition with trying to TRICK N's (or Life for that matter). Energy composition create energetic results - point blank. xox
You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I hope to use my experience to turn into something positive not only for myself but others as well. You truly found you life's purpose.
+Amy Wind Bless Amy thank you for your gorgeous comment! xoxox
There was more good stuff in this video than I could absorb in one viewing, so I'm going to watch this a few times until I can really internalize the wisdom which I recognize as truth with my mind and want to get with my heart. thank you, Melanie
I absolutely just loved seeing you, being you in this video...... I'm new at watching Narc video's and have only seen your new ones until I ran across this one. You made me laugh with your adorable pillow toss, which I needed desperately, and was quite surprised after seeing your more serious new videos. Glad to see you're human. Very attractive.......
Thank you cryuptocoinscafe, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Sometimes a bit of brevity goes a long way. I am absolutely, very human. Love and blessings xoxox
This video is one of the best. This lady is extremely smart.
I love the authenticity with Tiggy :)
I LOVE that you yelled at your cat...LOL...that made my night.