Great to hear that!!! I'm about to break free from my cheating narc, but I want to catch them in the act... I will expose them, and will go out with a BANG!!!
t is in the Bible, Matthew chapter 10, verses 12-16. Be discerning, be harmless, and eschew evil Don't cause harm, but for your own good and for God's sake, avoid anything to do with a Narcissist like the plague. That is the way to "love your enemy" so to minimize their harm to you without you becoming like them.
When I saw the title, "How to Speak to a Narcissist," my 1st thought was, 'Don't. And don't walk away. Run. Run like Hell is one step behind--because it is.
ABSOLUTELY NEVER! Your secrets are their ammunition! It has taken me many years and many horrible experiences with narcissists to figure out what has been happening in my life! For years I thought it was me but I thank God for gaining some insight. I'm a work in progress but I'm safer for it.
I noticed that !!!! When ever I would be open and honest or even telling him I'm struggling with something. He would make fun of what I said or made me feel worse for having feelings. It is like I'm not allowed to have feelings only him.
@@Ronnymikkonen2686 and how do you prove that? Who told you he didn't exist? It is historically proven that he was alive and still lives in many people's hearts. Period.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
It sure does feel great to be away from the Narcssisstic men that I accidentally became their victim.. Now I'm learn n just to not be codependent & be there for myself a lot more
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
How to speak to a narcissist? Read a letter over their grave explaining their abuses - it would have the same affect on them as telling them in person. But at least this time you would know why they were ignoring you.
bob si dog so true...ive said this to people before. ...At least if their dead they finally would have to listen to me...we could have a conversation .
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I have two family members like that, insecure and envious yet they brag big time about money and possessions. When I questioned them about their behaviour I got, "We're proud of what we own". See, ya can't win because they think it's 'normal' but if YOU were to brag about money and possessions they would say you have a problem. Can't win, stay away.
And, this is why I hurt them every chance I get. You wanna play? No problem, let us play! I frustrate them, because at some point I stop giving a damn..." Plain, and simple!"
My EX-husband, does see why he should pay child support... there's nothing in it for him! Has never purchased gifts for his children (2 of them), claims he has no money. However, he _does_ go out & spend hundreds of dollars on cocaine to make _himself_ feel better?? Wonders why his children hate talking to him on the phone. It's all about him. *sigh
After 1.5 years of being confused and neglected by the narcissist, I sat down, looked him in the eye and tried to communicate my thoughts to him and he could not sit still. He kept walking around doing things, and trying to change the subject, but I kept bringing the subject right back to him, asking him to sit down and looking him in the eye. I could see he was very restless and uncomfortable, but I finally got him to sit down and listen and we had an effective talk... so I thought, until the next day when he told me I came over to his place making demands. After that statement I was done. That was July 5, and I've been done ever since. I learned that there is absolutely no way to reach them. Their thinking is abnormal and distorted.
Every. Single. Time. Turns every conversation around to themselves. Lack of empathy is so apparent if you have the unfortunate experience of knowing them well.
suki love I respectfully disagree. That sounds more like a person who is trying to intimidate you. I had an experience with a person {male} from our local hospital. Nothing mattered what I said. I ended the conversation abruptly, with the thought that he must be compensating for a little Johnson. No way was I going to let him treat me that way.
JMK that's more of how to deal with a sociopath. Narcs are adult toddlers, sociopaths are insatiable beasts who feast on manipulating for the sheer pleasure (and perceived power) it brings them.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
There's no point in trying to talk to a narcissist. They're nothing but a headache and not worth your time. Always always always go no contact if you want true happiness and peace. Find a new job, make a new family for yourself. That's what I did and the world is blossoming before me now that I no longer have to deal with these headaches. In my situation the narcissist were a couple people in my family. They succeeded in turning the whole family against me. It was hard but I recognized defeat and walked away from my family. I built a new family for myself with friends, met an amazing man from a wonderful family that embraced me as their own, and we have a beautiful baby on the way! I crawled out of hell and if I can do it, anyone can do it. I was so broken for so long before I went into therapy and found the strength to respect myself enough to walk away.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
They lead a miserable life. They were shunned as children. Robbed of a happy, healthy chilhood. They resent you if you have fond memories of yours. As adults ... no, as children living in grown-up bodies, they feel so cheated, and are so unhappy that they cannot stand to see others happy. They ascertain who is the weak & make their move, and the life-cycle of the narcissist starts again.
Oh my gosh, you said it. My mother was cold hearted and cruel to me and hurt me constantly. The smallest thing anyone would say to her she would cry and want pity for her hurt feelings. I thought how can you come to me for comfort when you treat me in such a horrible way?
That's completely untrue. Everyone here needs to re-evaluate themselves and instead of attacking others perhaps they can take a moment to actually learn and understand how to deal with people. There is no conversation if you are an idiot. Simple
How to speak to a narcissist : Don't. No contact with my Father for over a year has been the best thing I could have done for myself, I am 40 years old.
My mother in law was trying to destroy my marriage. we tried for many years but finally had to walk way from the relationship as well. has improved our life so much... sad...But true!
@@brittanyolson3112 Good for you! I know a mother who pretends she's married to her son not to her husband. The husband feels replaced and sad. The son is stuck without a girlfriend even though he's in his 30's now. Some moms cling. She probably still wants to give him a bath and change his diaper. ;)
Stephen Doty Thank You! I know it was extremely hard on my husband she most definitely is /was jealous of me just for being his wife. She even went as far as being disrespectful to my child ... he is 6. I could never understand why until I started doing research into this topic.
@@brittanyolson3112 Good move. I am constantly amazed at the amount of human sorrow and misery that comes from trying to get along with "family" just because they are "family." It's a trap. I cut off relations with backstabbers and bad-mouthers and envious, negative influences, whether they are related to me or not. And I encourage others to do the same. Your own private role models are your own inner peer group, I think. They feel more like family too. ;)
I had many narcs in my life from parents, family, coworkers, husbands etc. I can tell you that I have been drugged, and my life threatened many times. They are dangerous.
You simply avoid them at all costs. Malignant narcissists are extremely dangerous. You can very easily tell once you have been damaged by one - it is nothing you forget.
Lisa Rice , exactly. No matter how you speak to a narcissist, they will turn everything around to be right. I know, my sister is a narcissist and the less I have to do with her, the better.
its so convenient to call out everyone a narcist to just not have to handle the argument. when you call others narcists chances are very big you are yourself a big one!
This will work with people with inflated egos, but any conversation you have with a true narcissist will only be used against you later. Refuse to deal with them and delete them from your life, they are broken, dangerous, and not real human beings.
*sigh* i married one four years ago... at the time it seemed as if he is just quite opinionated.... dont want to separate... must bite the bullet, pray alot, and learn 😯
you can't delete your boss when you've been with a company for 10+ years. The techniques described in this video have worked efficiently in allowing me to stay employed with even the worst of employers. In other cases, yes I agree, no contact is the best path to your salvation, but that isn't always an option.
Thank you Dr. Greg for not endorsing a competition with the narcissist. I have to deal with one every day at work and want effective boundaries without losing empathy myself. The battle, it seems, is to not become like them.
Narcissists are a breed all by themselves. I am done trying. why would one waste their energy on them. I have for 64 years. And I am so done. These are cruel people who take pleasure in ones hurt. No thanks!
Mine is my son! He is soon to be 35 years old. I was clueless until he had his son and then purposely made sure to bring me into his life, to take him away, just as suddenly and then sent me a CERTIFIED letter, to inform me that I am no longer family. Long story, but I agree - Do NOT waste your energy on them (even if it is your own child)!!!
Awwwww thanks! It has been several years now. But, in the beginning it was like mourning a death. I suddenly came to realize that my son wasn't who I had fooled myself to him being. The signs were all there, but I choose to ignore them. My husband saw them, but he isn't his father, so it was hard for him to say anything. THANKFULLY I have my husband who treats me very well. I came to realize and understand that my ex-husband fed poison to my son and his relatives (who I foolishly believed was family to me). Just a few years ago, my ex-sister-in-law who I thought we were still always friends all these years, informed me (after I refused to give her son a few thousands dollars for his debt) that she NEVER thought of me as family and then suddenly informed me that I was a "deadbeat mother" and she literally had a dollar amount that she felt I owed my ex-husband (mind you, we purchased the home they lived in, I bought five cars for my son throughout the years, and we would hire my ex-husband if he was ever out of work, to make sure that he was making money). I never in a million years would have believed that if one treats others as they would like to be treated, that the exact opposite would happen. I was blind! I think I am finally at the acceptance stage, but I still break down and cry and sometimes think/hope that my son will come around (as all the outsiders insist on telling me will happen). I know with my head that it is a lost cause and I will never know my grandson. And, my son will certainly never be the same person to me.
Hi there, I was wondering if you could help me with something. I'm trying to figure out if my father is a narc. I'm 80% certain he is but I can't seem to trust myself. However, the thing that got me searching was the realisation that he is constantly lying about things there's no need (in my mind) to lie about. Alcohol, for example. On holiday he gets tipsy to drunk 5/7 nights, but he next day will say he was poorly dehydrated. And my sister caught him looking through my phone so I went upstairs to confront him, and at first he actually tried denying it even though he had my phone in his hands. Later, he told my sister off for 'snitching' and 'making things up.' Does this sound like a narcissist to you? I just need second opinions please. Thanks
My dad is a narcissist. Growing up with someone who lacked any empathy was very difficult, especially during times when I would get bullied at school instead of empathizing with my suffering he would blame it on me. "I bet people don't like you because YOU'RE the one who's an awful person." "It's your fault that person kicked you and called you ugly because you didn't kick them back." The advice in this video is very sound, and has been the only way I can ever communicate with him without feeling like I'm losing my mind.
That's exactly what they do. I discovered recently that my father and older brother are heavily narcissistic. Father passed on the traits to his older son. Whenever someone from outside the family appears, they turn into angels with melodic voices who act like they're victims of their own created circumstances. Then behind closed doors, they show their devil sides like professional Olympians, and NO ONE outside ever knows who they are without the mask. They even put on their masks to other people right in front of you, not caring that you know exactly who they are, you're just not telling the person anything. They're amazing actors. But try to make them look bad in front of those people, which I've done before with a heated head, and that's when you finally pierce through their stone hearts.
Tan Tan One thing I think everyone should learn is not to interpret what other people are saying unless it's obvious through their tone of voice or they say it themselves. Way too many people these days analyze what others say as if they can read minds and look for hidden meanings in their words for some odd reason. Don't bother doing that, because you don't know what that person meant by "Mine," and there's no emphasis on "Mine," otherwise that word would be written in all Caps. That comment doesn't actually lead anyone to think anything but what is written on it. Never make a movie in your head that doesn't exist.
You can't win a conversation or argument with them and walking on egg shells around them constantly can get very old. That is a codependant trait. I will avoid talking to them at all. Be careful they will pump you for any and all information about you and your life. Twist it and use it against you in a shocking moment of anger. Best to completely pull out of the relationship when possible. Even if it's a family member.
Teresa Pedicone Yes. I agree. After a lifetime growing up with a narcissistic and sociopathic mother, I FINALLY freed myself for good. I had to move out of state to do it and get away from her. Then I had to block her on the internet and phone/cellphone. I tried everything I could for years to mend the relationship and make it respectful/equal, but nope. She enjoyed controlling and emotionally tearing me (and many other people, both family and friends). I grieved that I never had a mother, and I never will. What I've had to do to make it a little easier when my emotions/thoughts come up, is pretend that I'm an orphan. I felt like that all my life, so it was easier to think of things that way. I wasted too much of my life with these failed attempts that ended up with her emotionally (and when I was a kid, physically) abusing me. I'm living away from everything and everyone I've ever known now. Just me and my cat. Trust has been broken so much that I struggle with it still. I mainly just keep to myself.
Jora Kitty - Same, except the narcissist was my father. My mother was so codependent that she neglected me. I was extremely blessed to have had a grandmother, or I would have had no one growing up and likely would have turned more inward than I have. I, too, have found that coming to the realization that I am essentially living as an orphan does - without parents in their life - is better for my mental health. They behave as though I don't exist, so it's become easier to just pretend that they aren't there, either. Otherwise, I'd live like a broken-hearted person, which was how I did live until the last 10 years, and feel that I have no value. But I *do* have value, and so do you.
IF they're narcissists, asking them to "put themselves in your position" probably wouldn't work. Narcissists lack empathy and thus tend to say "That's your problem, not mine".
Since day one, every problem with his nasty family has been put on me! He has to share not part in it. Thank heaven I have faith, love and trust in the Lord, otherwise who knows where I could have been. Hang in there and keep strong. Don’t let them win. They are idiots. Even animals feel you, how can a human be so low...
Narcissistic “personality” is literally how I imagine a demon would behave if it were just released from Hell and manifested itself as human. Even the “way” he teaches you to “deal” with them (looking them confidently in their eyes, not being passive, avoiding their tricks [wtf?], etc.) is exactly how someone would expect to deal with a demon...think about it.🔥👿😆
that is very true cause when I was married to a narcissistic husband the one time we were intimate and the last time we were I looked at him and all I could see was the devil in his eyes and soul peering down at me. I said get off of me and never were we intimate again or slept in the same bed.
Same here. Although my mom is the enabler, father narc. Brother is the “golden child.” I’m 41 and just beginning to educate myself about how to deal with all the trauma.
I'm in mourning too...6 weeks till my 40th birthday and I've just developed boundaries through mindfulness. Am out of the fog but so very sad at the waste and loss.
Nathalie Dufour Please don't consider your life a waste - that's what narcissists want. I had an extremely narcissistic mother who made a point of telling everyone at my brother's funeral that she was looking forward to watch the last episode of MASH on TV that night! People like our mothers are highly destructive but you can choose not to be destroyed by them - it really can be done!!!
Our worth doesn't come from people, but God the father. He created you, and only He can heal you. My husband is a son of narcissist parents, and it hasn't been easy. Healing takes time. But none of us is a mistake.
Thanks for your video. Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder cannot be fixed. There is nothing to fix. They are a shell with zero inner workings. Everything is surface. There is no empathy nor compassion to be found within these types. They are relentlessly selfish and self-serving. The only effective way to deal with them is to remove yourself completely with zero contact in the future, unless there are extraordinary circumstances, like shared children. Leave your narcissist today and don't look back.
"Extraordinary circumstances" equate to excuses. You are doing your patients a disservice by encouraging them to continue to take the abuse. I hope you are not a narc and that you take all the comments left on this page, REAL LIFE comments, quit ignoring all these people who are victims of narc abuse and LISTEN. Not everything comes from books, there is a great deal to be said about life experiences of which you clearly have none in this area.
They dont need to be fixed, they are always right. Which means that everyone else is always wrong. If you’d just do what they tell you, there wouldn’t be a problem
@@cheekychops1800 not always, I try be open and tell people, at the end, I don't believe I'm too different. Everyone does things that benefit them in some way.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I totally agree with this. You need to be confident, firm, direct, don't let them get off the topic, repeat yourself if you have to. They do not do empathy. If you cry beg plead ...you could die in front of them and they wouldn't care...it's like a game you need to cut through the bs. The attention span thing so true to. I've been coming to all these conclusions but having them articulated helps a lot.
Also, thank you for recognizing the less sensationalized narcissist. It’s validating to hear about levels of narcissism that are not overwhelmingly abusive or malignant. Over time or being raised by a covert narcissist has very demoralizing affects and the loss of self is hard to recognize because the abuse is not as obvious.
"...don't be defensive, don't be sarcastic..." Yes! I've learned this the hard way from dealing with my narcissistic parent all my life. I'd also add that narcissists don't do well with playful teasing. Most of us, when we feel comfortable with someone, will playfully tease them from time-to-time. It's a show of affection & trust. But in my experience, narcissists don't process playful teasing as such, they take it literally and get upset. If you explain you were just being playful they don't always believe you. Narcissists tend to be on guard, always eager to protect their ego.
Angel La Canfora, this so true, it's as if you have to double think all the time, sort of like talking to a child except it just isn't cute God , they just don't get it, here's a quote I hear many times a day. Me: " You've got a point" etc. etc. - Narc. "Of course it's true, I said it" What a load of bullshit.
U can't have a relationship w a narcissist. One of the best moments in my life was when I told my narc sister that I really didn't care what she thought about anything...
I just stopped talking to mine. My life has improved greatly. No more hurt feelings. Took me decades to realize she doesn't love me, her mother, her brothers. Finally, came to understand why they including her mother, were always angry with her. I thought it was just me. She loves her daughter and grandchildren but I'm guessing as possessions. Perhaps the closest she can feel to "love". Nothing that happens to you can she relate to unless it happens to her later and then she gets it. No empathy. Frankly, I think she's a sociopath, but when she's pulling something she actually seems nervous about it (getting caught), so she doesn't quite fit the definition. On the other hand I think all she could think about with our terminal cancer brother was why didn't he just die already, for the insurance he left her daughter. Too far to visit (30 miles) when he was alive, but in his house looking for the insurance policy while the corpse was still warm. Narcissism with a little sociopathy thrown in???? That was when I was done. Oh, and she raided his house for all the stuff. Loves money and stuff over people.
Cuz they can't think to answer a question. It's the weirdest thing to think these ppl can't or won't converse to live a life of deep joy. Sad existence.
Some talk about themselves int the third person, as in, "No, Jane Doe doesn't roll like that. I need to work on my brand, the whole Jane Doe enterprises idea, in case I get products to sponsor or sell in my name some day."
Unless you have a strong, committed familial tie to the narcissist, the best way to handle them is to completely disassociate yourself from them just as soon as you discover that they are narcissistic. They can be very vengeful, so make this break from them in a subtle, non-confrontational way.
RKWWW Good thing i don't have a strong familial tie with my Narcissistic sister ( 7 years younger than me) I left home when i was 14 y/o for an entirely different reason and never looked back. Found out my now 51 y/ o sister is a covert Narcisisst. She is TOXIC and avoid her lkke a plague since 4 yrs ago now
When you have a strong familial tie, it’s harder to “cut them out entirely”. But it’s still up to you - if you have to do it for a time, no one can tell you you can’t- they will try though. It’s an opportunity to learn boundaries. But it’s really hard. Worth it to learn personal boundaries. Helps in all aspects of life.
I had a nervous breakdown on my 40th and thats when i realised my mum is a narcissist. I learnt to set boundaries with my mum, i have no contact now with her 4 months now. She is very stubborn.
If you are saying that the sociopath is motivated to be cruel but the narcissist has no interest in doing the same thing, I'd have to disagree. Narcissists live to cause distress and generate supply for themselves that way.
SNOW WINTER Yeah, i had a narc gf Now have another for the last week. She calls her “ex bf” who she breaks up with regularly in front of me... To see if it hurts me and if she is gaining control over me. She doesn’t understand how i am not hurt. It does hurt, but mostly I am just trying to observe a narc and see how they act. She really is VERY PREDICTABLE....
I do not believe they don't know what they're doing because much if not all of it is premeditated and well thought out. Also my brother and both parents are narcissists. 2 overt 1 covert. They don't care how u feel, u can talk till ur blue in the face. They don't care if they destroy ur life, the only one that matters to them is them. No contact is the best method.
No, his definition is spot on, your parents are sociopaths. THEY KONW WHAT THEIR DOING. A Narcissist can truly psychologically not. This is widely accepted in the psychological community.
I agree ,they are aware of what they are doing . the goal is to control and if that doesn't work insert as much torture and pain as possible to the target . they aren't stupid ! they are crazy ,mean ,and toxic .
An older gentleman once told me: " If you want to know what kind of person you're dealing with, whether on a date or a business meeting....watch how they talk to their server in a restaurant, or in any service related industry, in that setting people tend to reveal their 'true selves'"
You’re one too, everyone is. This is sadness en mass people don’t have back bones anymore. Parents and teachers reward children for doing nothing. Everyone is too sensitive. The world is a vampire. People need to stop being such safe space feel bots and grow a pair. Rome wasn’t built by the wimps it was built by the narcissists!
Hint # 1 They will NEVER say "I WAS WRONG" Only took me 44 years of hearing fake "I'm Sorry" Ask the person "Every believe you were WRONG?" Their Answer "Why?" And "NO!" Then Run for your life ASAP!
Cassandra Todd Carraway if it's a parent and they come close to any kind of apology it's followed with a ...."but..." ALWAYS going to point the finger back at you, never take responsibility for hurting you, and will make sure to come out the victim and Victor every time
Love your videos! I've realized that you can't even talk to a narcissist because they will turn everything around or lie so you can't even have a conversation with them.
I have done that, it didn't work. I actually said "Well, time for some cycling".. He immediately put up a fight calling me crazy to want to exercise right after launch. No, a fight is not the right word, because I didn't even have a chance to participate, so it's actually an attack. He started shouting alone, out of the blue (because he knew he was losing his victim right when he needed it). He was literally screaming out of his lungs. To the point that my ears were ringing.
BUT when things go wrong in their lives, they sure beg and get empathy and sympathy everywhere... they NEVER give, they just get, and then forget they were ever needy of course.
I have several narcissists...family!! My mother, brother and daughter.....dear Lord...I've had to extricate myself from their lives....i miss them but I don't have the stress in my life. ..
Tracey Mixon same! A family full of Narcissists is a blasted nightmare. I cut some out 16 years ago and it’s GREAT! They are twisted souls, with no remorse. And they love to play games. No contact has been wonderful.
I know what you mean. How sad. I just realized today that my son is a narcissist. Ive done so much for him and when i stopped helping him out he treated me like dirt.Thought I'd give him the tough love thing. Talking to me in such hurtful ways. I feel like i have a knife in my heart, and the hurt just doesnt go away. He never apologizes. My older sister has been this way for years never taking blame, or never admits any wrong doings. I walked away from her, but its hard to do that with my son. : (😥😔
Yes same here now I hv my daughter in law added to the list n I find my son is also little bit same where to find peace it's difficult I find so many of them in this world now being with these ppl I feel I m also going to include my self to the list for dealing with for so many years u hv had the opportunity to run but I can't not possible
@@iniubongnkanga9390 I wouldn't disply his personal info like that while also mentioning that he's a hacker doing probably not 100% legal stuff all the time. Plus he could get prank calls etc, I'd really delete that and just say that people can ask you for his info. :)
I don't know how I managed to live so long having never encountered, or spent enough time to recognize, a narcissist. To those on this thread who have successfully extricated yourselves, bravo. To those still trying, I send you hope and comfort and prayers you will soon be free and happy.
In early 2014 I had no idea what a narcissist truly was. By mid-2014 I learned that both my mother and younger brother are covert narcissists. Cripes...EVERYTHING in my life is now fully explained. As odd as it may sound, I went no contact with my mother in 2004...a full 10 years before I learned what a narcissist is; however, I also learned that "no contact" is about the best way to deal with abuse too. I have gone "no contact" with my younger brother since mid-2014 though...that one caught me by surprise. I am now fully aware of who the narcs are in my family as well as the proverbial flying monkeys. No contact is by far THE BEST DECISION I have ever made. I feel as though I am now halfway back to normal. That was a lot of abuse though.
Just have to say .I only discovered my sister was a narcissist after she went nuclear on me and she decided in her words I was a judas . she withdrew all contact and she persuaded and bullied two more close relatives to have nothing to do with me. afterwards by accident in my job we discussed narcissistic personality disorder. a light went off so much made sense now. five years later with no contact at all. I feel like I'm a lot saner.
+Ian James: Good on you to make the discovery. I can see that there are literally thousands (perhaps millions) of people who are also discovering not only what a narcissist is, but also that what they have experienced at the hands of such creepy people was indeed "abuse". I believe most victims of this abuse are at least somewhat clueless because they had never experienced anything "normal" in any relationship...until that one day when that proverbial light-bulb turns on and they have that major "aha" moment (just like you described). And naturally, when the narc finds out what you have discovered, they virtually all go as you say, "nuclear" on you, and we get the pleasure of experiencing their psychotic rage (which is one of many narcissistic traits), which of course they promptly blame on their victim...like we're all holding a gun to their heads forcing them to be dickheads :-).
Thanks Pacal , yeah i had no idea what a normal family was my father was very disturbed and normal was of the radar, thankfully i have two nieces ( who i have just seen ) and they are strangely normal. I now work in mental health and its as part of my work that i have studied personality disorders. i am now at peace with myself and i hope i can guide others i work with to realise they are not the monster, and encourage those who are very ill with any PD to seek help and try and have insight into their actions, thanks for taking the time to respond , best advise i can give to anyone is you need time away from your abusers so you can heal.
+Ian James: I have to think that your experience is what many of us have gone through, and you have managed to reach the other side. You have suffered at the hands of an abuser (probably a narcissistic abuser) and then you discover what a narcissist is and you come to the full realization that in spite of what your abuser may have tried to convince you of being, nothing was ever your fault. That discovery is typically a HUGE relief for all of us and is usually a MAJOR revelation. And now you have studied personality disorders and you have made it your career to help others overcome the same abuse. Good on you...well done. You know, after reading your input here I can say that we (as siblings in my family) had very similar experiences when we met relatives. We were always wondering why they always seemed to be so well adjusted, happy, and "normal"....we were always agitated, frustrated, and tense. That is very telling.
"Put yourself in my place." "Well, I would never BE in your place" Narcissists know that they are so much better that they are above being in your shoes.
To those commenters which speak to saying "goodbye" or leaving or getting away from the narcissist, please be mindful that this is not always possible! Its great advice if it works out like that, but not everyone is in a place to escape. Thank you for this video from those of us who aren't quite able to say "goodbye" to our narcissistic affiliations at this time! It is helpful!
I live beside my ex in a granny flat in his property. Theres a huge housing crisis and i have parkinsons. Together with my old dog....i have to find strategies. Thank you for your information. Bless
Holy cow, same here: mother divorced, new partner alcoholic. Violence, destroying health, school, relationships, studies and sweeping under the carpet. Go away from them or lie.
Some of these characteristics don't apply to the, "covert." The covert presents themselves as very affable, easy to get along with.. except to their victims..
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
'How to speak to a narcissist' - The ultimate answer is: DON'T! If you have to, don't let them know you have an issue with them.... Just quietly slip away. Challenge them, they crank up the heat. If you try to point out their flaws, you will come up on their radar. They will erode your wellbeing, just get away from them.
@@stopbeingahypocritepeople4437 not all honey but some. Narcissism is a demon. Yes many black men n different kinds of ppl in general these days are demonized u can tell them by their fruits(actions), behaviour and talk. Many become rude, arrogant and disgusting toward others becuz it's a fake ass ploy... they are really immature, ignorant, self-hating lost creatures with a lack of impulse control and a lack of proper socially acceptable, good decision making skills. Their self esteem is low low low n their thought patterns n energy vibrations and sometimes IQs all very low. Love, goodness n kindness and wisdom come from the highest vibration the energy of God... God is love the devil is the master of hate and mistreatment. Men who treat woman bad are evil n worship the devil wether they overstand that or not.
I'm dealing with a narcissistic family ! The whole lot of them are cut out from the same cloth. I haven't slept well in months. I'm so stressed for such a long time that I can't think straight. I was a sweet and loving person, sympathizing with people, thinking goodness changes people ... it doesn't Been 3 years nothing changed. Anything I saw is held against me. The "blame shifting" is a constant thing in every conversation. I have a toddler. I can't just walk out. I feel like their toxins are getting to me I'm constantly sad and my mind is fuzzy. I can relate to every word you say. I almost has a mental breakdown because of never getting heard and always every attempt I tried to have a conversation to sort things, was turned around into a blame . You can't simply walkout on your in-laws, can you ! Specially if you have kids. I wish I could disappear. Run away and never come back but my kid might blame me when she grows up.
You have described a very MILD case. You have not described a true MALIGNANT narcissist-- Some of the traits of which are: 1. Excessive need for attention- they dominate every conversation and never show interest in anyone else for their own sake. 2. Lack the ability to love others 4. Lack the ability to self-sacrifice 5. Emotionally stunted at the level of a child or adolescent 6. No self-reflection or objectivity 7. Exempt themselves from rules and standards of behavior that apply to others 8. If they do agree to help you or do something for you at all (which is rare unless there is a clear payoff for them), you will pay so dearly, it is a huge NET LOSS for you, and you will have to thank them endlessly 9. They never sincerely apologize 10. They can accept no criticism because their bad behavior is not their fault 11. The only emotions they have are fear, envy, anger, and spite. 12. They seek only satisfaction, vindication, and revenge 13. They classify everyone they know into two groups: those who are FOR me and those who are AGAINST me. They can move people from one list to the other instantly based on their "utility" and "compliance". 14. Other people are treated like objects/tools or characters in a play with a given role to perform FOR the narcissist. 15. The narcissist is skillful at using many tricks and techniques to achieve their goals, including flattery, deception, goading, fake empathy, gaslighting, projection, gossip, pitting people against each other, throwing out false accusations to gather information, demanding loyalty, silence, and keeping secrets, etc. 16. If they sense weakness, they will go for their victim's jugular. 17. They have NO sympathy or empathy and don't think they need to have any. If you tell them you had a rough day, are tired, or have experienced ANY misfortune, they will tell you it is YOUR OWN FAULT. 18. They will mentally file away everything you say to use it against you later. If you are only nice to them, they will imagine something bad you did and tell everyone about it. 19. They secretly delight in others' misfortuns, in wasting other peoples' time, effort, or money, and in causing strife and chaos. 20. When they MUST be good to avoid being punished, ignored, or looking bad to someone they need to impress, it is a major effort that stresses and exhausts them. Fighting, in contrast, energizes them.
AnnInFL you are on the money in your post. I’ve had a narcissistic friend and what a nightmare it was. At first they come across sincere and nice, helpful. You soon learn that’s a front of there real self. For instance I needed her to take me to a doctors appt because I couldn’t drive. But in return she wanted me to buy cigs for her, help pay her bills, buy other things for her. I said it’s my car my gas and can’t u do it just to b a friend without anything in return? I’ve previously helped her many times before giving her laundry detergent letting her do laundry at my home letting her borrow my vehicle which I put gas in for her and so on. It’s always about them, their needs, their feelings, expecting something in return for every little thing. Rarely a thank you came out of her mouth. They weren’t poor just didn’t pay their bills then cried to anyone who would listen to their sobs stories which were lies. I was on meds for pain and she wanted me to share those too! Even if it meant me going without and would threaten me in many ways. I prayed for her because she needed help and have broken ties with her all together. They need help but can’t see that. I’ve tried to reason with her no luck there. My life is much more fuller and brighter with her out if my life but I still pray for her.
Don't forget the name dropping to make themselves appear important. After 40 years married to a narcissist, we are starting the process of divorce. He asked for it because I'm too difficult to live with. Gaslighting at its utmost! It's extremely difficult to agree to conditions that are fair to me. It's all about him regardless of how it screws me. I made the money, raised the 3 kids, kept the house clean and maintained (as much as he would allow), paid the bills, etc. A narcissistic spouse can totally break you down and leave you an empty shell. Others don't understand it because that's not the treatment they get. My advise after trying my best to have a loving marriage is run as fast as you can ASAP. It only gets worse with time.
Xander Taylor That's right. When I catch a cold, my husband tells me, "I don't understand how you're sick. I didn't get sick. I never get sick." Oh geez. As much as I try to explain how we are ALL different, he doesn't understand. 🙄
so... who actually is the narcissist? Why should another even think about you in the first place? Afterall, they are wrapped up in themselves as much as you are wrapped up in yourself. I;m starting to understand what this Atifa stuff is about now. gimme gimme gimme ,,,, but don't take dont take dont take.
They are not great listeners and speak over you when talking. They also deflect and jump from topic to topic. When trying to get clarification, they constantly ramble, leaving you more confused
It comes from the Greek legend of a man called Narcissus, who seeing his own image reflected in water feel completely in love with himself to the exclusiong of all others.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I once refused to back down in an argument with a narcissist like I always had before. I wouldn't give in. Suddenly he leaped across the room, grabbed me around the throat and started choking me to death. I felt sure I was going to die at his hands. Then just as suddenly he released me. He never apologized or even mentioned what he had done. He had no empathy for my suffering. No guilt, no remorse, no asking for forgiveness and promises to never hurt me again, like most women batterers do. It was as if it didn't happen. He didn't kill me but he killed our relationship. When I left him, he thought I'd "gone crazy." He could not perceive that he had driven me away. He was truly "empathy deficient." The one thing he could not control was my leaving him. He had tried to control every aspect of my life--what I ate, how much I weighed, when the dishes were to be done, etc. He was my personal Dictator. I tried to explain his behavior by looking for family-of-origin clues, but I could never really put my finger on what was wrong with him until I found out what someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder was like--but this was many years after I'd left him. It is a relief to finally understand what was wrong with him and know that leaving him was the right thing to do. He tried to whittle my self-esteem down to nothing. He could never be pleased. He was humorless. He robbed my soul and tried to shred my self-worth. I knew I was dying inside and that if I stayed with him "I" --my strong sense of who I was-- would die.
My story. I confronted my narcissist coworker. She has been giving me hell ever since, while making it look as if I am the guilty one. My boss is not up to her, so I am leaving as soon as I have another job.
@@alexandradeheiden2072 I hear you, but you can fight back. Go see HR and put your complaint in writing. Use the words "hostile work environment" in association with the narcissist. Name her! If HR does not look into it, you can go see an attorney. You will likely win your case or can go on unemployment, uncontested, if the employer does not help. Document the heck out of what she is doing. Have a work friend witness her chaos and document too. tape record or video record any of the crazy making.
@@gisele2926 Thank you so much for your reply. I already tried. HR says they can't help me. I'm a temp, I should complain with the temping agency. Which I did. The temping agency talked with HR and managed to get me a job at another location. So I still have a job and my temping agency's back, but this collegue is still working there. As a temp, you have hardly any rights.
I have to disagree that a narcissist doesn't know or understand what they are doing. They absolutely know what they are doing...and its intentional. The hurt and the pain is intentional! Live with one....and you will know!
Precisely !!, A better realization is ; THEY don't see anything wrong with their actions. TOTAL self absorption, and total contempt for any distraction from that absorption. Eventually when you realize how narrow and pitifully selfish they are, YOU are ready for a profoundly disturbing realizations ( BY this time they have already gotten rid of you ) THAT you wasted a lot of positive energy, and you nether liked or really loved them....none can.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I stumbled upon this video and was so glad that I did. I've read through people's comments here and am grieved that there are so many that have given up on narcissistic people. Although, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND! One of my son's is married to one of these types and it has caused so much pain in the family! This video helped me to see my very own son (not the married son) who is on the brink of adulthood. He can be the sweetest young man in the world, but, honestly, looking back, he was always a narcissist. Had I known more about this before he was even born, I could have changed so much of the way we raised him! I just had no idea that he had this 'disorder'. He is always kind and respectful to the public, but at home and among close friends, he is completely self-centered. I know he loves his parents very much, but he does not have an empathetic thought outside of 5%. This video has given me some ideas, some tools, to perhaps begin to help him before he launches off on his own. If we don't get anywhere, then maybe the US Marine Corps will help. :)
gawd. just run. run as fast as you can. From the narc. Talking is just a waste of time. Just get out of there before they think they can manipulate you again.
It is a grave mistake to empathize with a malignant narcissist you have to act with the same caution one would take to avoid the risk of getting mugged or robbed of their valuables. you just have to protect your psyche the same way.
I'm an empath person, also Clairsentience person..A narcissistic person is too much for me to be around..Because I have empathy, and have always tried to put myself in someone else shoes, so to speak..I can feel their pain, or heartache or sorrow, even happiness....Being around a narcissistic person is draining all my emotions, I can't be around people like this...I won't waste my time or emotions on people like this, they never really give in to your feelings.. Or try to help themselves, to change or put aside their 'Self Centered' self once in a while..No, so what I do I use their narcissistic behavior right back at them, using ME first and my feelings and then move on away from people like this..Sometimes a taste of their own medicine is good, or it could be just a waste of my time..Moving on is the best way for me.
yes! speak to them the same way they speak to you, act like them in their presence, they will soon realize you won't be a good person for their uses, and generally avoid you in favor of others who are easier to control or who jump to their tune.
I have read they target Empaths. I am an empath too. And believe you me, I RAN for the hills once I really got my ^8906545^^^ together and realized what I was dealing with. RUN!
I'm an empath, clairsentience and a healer. It's obvious why such a person (father) would be so attracted to my energy, but I didn't know I'm all those things back then. It took me many years to realize why off of everybody else in the family he chose me to put up his fights. They just want our light, that's all. Energy vampires. Mine, would even put up a fight because I was not reacting, not responding, not giving him a step to put up a fight. So he put up a fight for that, accusing me I have an attitude towards him. Rest of the family could now breath as they were not the target, so they were also accusing me for making him shout "again". My very mother asked me to go ask for forgiveness from him once and I had NO idea what I have done this time to trigger his anger. He was just angry, as usual, but I was the one who should take the blame, because, she just needed protection, as she was the next in line to be attacked. Now I don't talk to him. I have to meet him as I'm going to them for a few days. I have no idea why I'm doing this. Maybe to shut other relative's mouths, maybe to ease my own self blaming for being relatively absent from my mother's life. I know I should keep running, but I'll just go :/
I’m a narcissistic human BUT very empathetic & self aware of my tendencies as well. I do understand his way of explaining and being that language shapes perception you need a label to explain the characteristics of human tendencies. Being that we are the awareness, once we become self aware of that, the true change & characteristic of the individual will Come if they choose to. “The difference between a social path & someone who’s highly aware, is the intention behind this actions” -Rp
Narcissist can be easily manipulated, if yo know how to stroke their ego, because they are not looking at anything or anybody but themselves. They just want their ego fed, and they will do anything to get it. Many a dictator was a Narcissist who was actually manipulated by the person standing behind them, the one who was actually pulling the strings.
Who has the energy to play these stupid games?It's emotionally draining.It's just an endless vicious circle of pain,misery and manipulation.Why would you waste your life scheming and plotting when you can do something productive and positive? Cutting off all ties and focusing on your happiness and health seems like a better option.
some of your observations are great however narcs 100 % know what they do and LOVE IT. they want to hurt you and get a reaction - its what they feed off of. If called on, they will of course say who me i had no idea i was hurting you! i just feel...(victimized, offended, yadda yadda) so if you are listening to them yeah they dont know. If you are listening to their victims they always know.
Thank you! This is useful and realistic advice for handling narcissistic people for those of us who either don’t have the privilege of going no contact, or opt not to.
This is great advice if you are interacting with a narcissist from a therapy standpoint. If you are a regular civilian no amount of appealing to their logic will work because they lead with their emotions. It would be like talking to a toddler on the verge of a tantrum. You’d probably have a better chance at getting through to the toddler. The best advice is to limit interaction to zero if you can.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist and it was the best but then worst relationship of my life. my intuition was going crazy everyday. trust your intuition and get out of that relationship as soon as you can.narcissists lie, cheat and manipulate and the list goes on and on. I have been discarded and I'm glad it's over. if you are with a narcissist get out now.
This guy obviously has never really seen a narcissist or dealt with one. You CANNOT appeal to or reason with a narcissist in any way, shape or form. PERIOD. They simply WILL NOT hear it and you will get sucked into one of their fucking endless, merry-go-round, circular arguments. The only way to deal with them is to CUT THEM OFF. .... NO CONTACT... EVER. End of story.
Collin Very well-said....Still worse, sociopath narcissists(semantic) pursue power & obviously, have no problem abusing it. I think that both types do not experience empathy. Some experts believe that among the very power-full, ONE in FIVE are socio/psycho-paths. YIKES!!!
mmm.... I have dealt with a good number of narcissists in my life and, yes, sometimes you just have to get away from them. But your comment misses two key things. First, not eveyone can "cut them off" because their situation won't allow it. Second, narcissism is not all or nothing. There are gradations of narcissism. Not every narcissist is completely devoid of any capacity for empathy.
Tried that one once, met a whole nother group of them. The thing that made things better for some of "good ones", the ones who were being engineered to be the same, but I knew them long enough to know they didn't have to end up that way... was threatening lives. Sad, but true. (The terms were some sick literary level bullshit, and could have cost a life, I had seen it happen before when younger) I still deal with the same on home turf, because it is just so prevalent. I am going to doubt the conclusion will be followed, since it would require a lifetime of conveyance, but that is what the "deepstate" is. It is a social structure (both public and private) that is based in this concept, and one drives the other. Since there is no consideration for what is real (what occurs in the physical world), peoples lives, and harmful causation in the short and long term. This as long as some overly socialized individuals can maintain their status, and they will defend that at any cost. So I guess the only thing respected, is being willing to do that, too.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Katrinka Sandoval yes I agree. It is a set validating platform !! And attracts the like. If is only beneficial for orginazations to help spread important info. I don't belong to it and probably never will. I don't miss it. And have more time because of that I think.
It is incredible how many of my neighbors and relatives have just been described here. Trying to have a good conversation is worse than a rectal exam. And afterwards.... the pain from the interaction remains for some time. Thanks for the hints .
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
dealing with them is like having hemariods a pain in the ass.
6 ปีที่แล้ว +86
notice they use sarcasm back when you dont feed into their BS and try being reasonable.; they are trying to provoke a response that they can see themselves as being victimized by then will shame you for reacting ... cycle repeats .. poor me
I use to tell my bd that all the time to grow up you act like a toddler. Four years of it and I dropped that loser he's mad he couldn't take me under power of an Aquarius ♒
I disagree with you when you say that the narcissist doesn't know they are hurting you. My mother is a malignant narcissist. she is very calculating about what she says and does to hurt me. it's when you get close to the narcissist that you know that not everything they do is off the cuff.
+Warrior Bushido Yes and if you're clear about what you want, that will tell them exactly what they need to stop you from getting in order to feel dominant. I don't agree with much on this video.
+Warrior Bushido I wouldn't argue with a doctor if I were you. Also, he's talking about narcissists in general, it may not cover every single narcissist on the planet. You also have to remember that a mental illness can overlap with over mental illnesses.
***** I have 27 years of living with one. Netter than any text book explanation. Moreover, ar base narcissists want to inflict pain on people to feel good about themselves. you should never disclose your heart to a pathological narcissist, they destroy people's happiness for fun. While its true thag all are different, a core characteristi. Is pathological envy and sadism. If they lack this, they are not narcissists. The definition of narcissism is distorted. Their lack of empathy comes less from ego absorption and more from a need to control their kmmediate envioronmemt qnd hve people agree to whatever they think should be.
I once asked my husband to please put himself in my shoes and try to see where I was coming from. His response blew me away. He said the only shoes he was putting himself into were his own.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
I thought being lonely was painful but after being in relationship with a narcissist,being lonely feels like heavenly freedom!
Deepa Lall OMG me too!!!!
You are absolutely righ!
Great to hear that!!! I'm about to break free from my cheating narc, but I want to catch them in the act... I will expose them, and will go out with a BANG!!!
Deepa Lall Good for you! It's heaven isn't it?
Right
Avoid at all costs. A conversation with a narcissist is like giving them weapons to harm you with.
Good one
t is in the Bible, Matthew chapter 10, verses 12-16. Be discerning, be harmless, and eschew evil Don't cause harm, but for your own good and for God's sake, avoid anything to do with a Narcissist like the plague. That is the way to "love your enemy" so to minimize their harm to you without you becoming like them.
When I saw the title, "How to Speak to a Narcissist," my 1st thought was, 'Don't. And don't walk away. Run. Run like Hell is one step behind--because it is.
your statement terrifies me...that's my husband!
4Knewt my boyfriend. It’s a scary thing
Never argue with them
Never tell your problems or weaknesses
Yeah i did that during my marriage as I thought I could trust them but they use those things against me still to hurt me.
So true
ABSOLUTELY NEVER! Your secrets are their ammunition! It has taken me many years and many horrible experiences with narcissists to figure out what has been happening in my life! For years I thought it was me but I thank God for gaining some insight. I'm a work in progress but I'm safer for it.
Now I found this out....
I noticed that !!!! When ever I would be open and honest or even telling him I'm struggling with something. He would make fun of what I said or made me feel worse for having feelings. It is like I'm not allowed to have feelings only him.
One thing I've noticed especially with the covert narcissist is that they diagnose everyone with some psychological disorder except themselves.
And if you want to know what they are doing when you're not around, they will simply accuse you of doing it.
Yep,
Always pointing out other’s faults.
My husband tried to ‘’Gaslight’ me. How cliché. That’s a 60 year old movie!
Yes, TRUE.😆
If you even HINT that their crazy they FLIP OUT!😆
A Narcissist only knows and cares for three things: ME, MYSELF, and I
It's like Jeesus! He him and for him! And if you don't obey? Go to hell!
@@Ronnymikkonen2686 he never said go to hell though
@@estherselvarani88 he has never said anything, because "he's is non-existing!
@@Ronnymikkonen2686 and how do you prove that? Who told you he didn't exist? It is historically proven that he was alive and still lives in many people's hearts. Period.
@@estherselvarani88 There is no trueth to any Religious claims period!
2 characteristics: it is all about themselves, and they lie constantly.
i am under NO legal obligation to tell the trueth on anything so why do you demand it.
Yup! Yup! Yup!
OMGOODNESS my boyfriend is a narcissist 😯😮😥💔🙏
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Yes i agree😘
You forgot one thing, to get their way they will lie, lie, lie and lie.
Not only that, they will make the masses believe it. It's some type of mind control they love to inflict on people.
They also accuse other people of doing what they do. Hillary Clinton is a great example, implying that Trump is corrupt and a narcissist.
Richie B - that is called projection
@@klausrain111 trump IS a narcissist, though...weather you support him or not...you can't really deny that fact..
but he is
Arguing with a narcissist is like walking through a mine field. Its only a matter of time before something blows up. Walk 🚶 away
It sure does feel great to be away from the Narcssisstic men that I accidentally became their victim..
Now I'm learn n just to not be codependent & be there for myself a lot more
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Ugh
How to speak to a narcissist?
Read a letter over their grave explaining their abuses - it would have the same affect on them as telling them in person. But at least this time you would know why they were ignoring you.
Wow for reals? That hopeless
😁😂😃😄😅, sadly you are right.
Best comment!
lol
bob si dog so true...ive said this to people before. ...At least if their dead they finally would have to listen to me...we could have a conversation .
They tend to be insecure and envious. Best to get away from them,
Brenda Gaines Hunter -- I wish I could have, but unfortunately she was my birth mother.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
nah they just don't care
I have two family members like that, insecure and envious yet they brag big time about money and possessions. When I questioned them about their behaviour I got, "We're proud of what we own". See, ya can't win because they think it's 'normal' but if YOU were to brag about money and possessions they would say you have a problem. Can't win, stay away.
Need a good Hacker around to get some help and have your relationship problems solved just text on WhatsApp/cellphone number ☎️ +1(910)-766-0744
They’re liars and always say they’re victims. They’re like zombies with no souls. Serious. They have no feelings but only for themselves.
Dead on correct
Wood chippers would work just fine for these mind bending fu* ks!!! It's ALL about them always.
And, this is why I hurt them every chance I get. You wanna play? No problem, let us play! I frustrate them, because at some point I stop giving a damn..." Plain, and simple!"
My EX-husband, does see why he should pay child support... there's nothing in it for him!
Has never purchased gifts for his children (2 of them), claims he has no money.
However, he _does_ go out & spend hundreds of dollars on cocaine to make _himself_ feel better?? Wonders why his children hate talking to him on the phone. It's all about him. *sigh
Digitalhunny Then take this advice on how to speak with them.
After 1.5 years of being confused and neglected by the narcissist, I sat down, looked him in the eye and tried to communicate my thoughts to him and he could not sit still. He kept walking around doing things, and trying to change the subject, but I kept bringing the subject right back to him, asking him to sit down and looking him in the eye. I could see he was very restless and uncomfortable, but I finally got him to sit down and listen and we had an effective talk... so I thought, until the next day when he told me I came over to his place making demands. After that statement I was done. That was July 5, and I've been done ever since. I learned that there is absolutely no way to reach them. Their thinking is abnormal and distorted.
Every. Single. Time. Turns every conversation around to themselves. Lack of empathy is so apparent if you have the unfortunate experience of knowing them well.
Yep
+Gabby Richards wife of this guy above so sorry for you!
Anonymous Follower Exactly
Anonymous Follower I totally agree.
Always, always, always!
They don’t listen. Just talk over you...
Yup cant get a word in, as soon as you start forming a logical point hey lemme just talk over you.
William Contreras 100% right!!
suki love I respectfully disagree. That sounds more like a person who is trying to intimidate you. I had an experience with a person {male} from our local hospital. Nothing mattered what I said. I ended the conversation abruptly, with the thought that he must be compensating for a little Johnson. No way was I going to let him treat me that way.
Mary you did the right thing by ending the conversation abruptly. People like that are not easy to converse with.
SO TRUE
How to deal with a narcissist: RUN
JMK that's more of how to deal with a sociopath. Narcs are adult toddlers, sociopaths are insatiable beasts who feast on manipulating for the sheer pleasure (and perceived power) it brings them.
👋👋👋👋
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
JMK indeed!
Leave them and Run😂😂
There's no point in trying to talk to a narcissist. They're nothing but a headache and not worth your time. Always always always go no contact if you want true happiness and peace. Find a new job, make a new family for yourself. That's what I did and the world is blossoming before me now that I no longer have to deal with these headaches. In my situation the narcissist were a couple people in my family. They succeeded in turning the whole family against me. It was hard but I recognized defeat and walked away from my family. I built a new family for myself with friends, met an amazing man from a wonderful family that embraced me as their own, and we have a beautiful baby on the way! I crawled out of hell and if I can do it, anyone can do it. I was so broken for so long before I went into therapy and found the strength to respect myself enough to walk away.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
God bless you!
John Simeone - Are you providing advice or surreptitiously spamming us?
I'm no doctor but my personal experience of these types is that the only empathy they are capable of is self-empathy.
They lead a miserable life. They were shunned as children. Robbed of a happy, healthy chilhood. They resent you if you have fond memories of yours. As adults ... no, as children living in grown-up bodies, they feel so cheated, and are so unhappy that they cannot stand to see others happy. They ascertain who is the weak & make their move, and the life-cycle of the narcissist starts again.
Oh my gosh, you said it. My mother was cold hearted and cruel to me and hurt me constantly. The smallest thing anyone would say to her she would cry and want pity for her hurt feelings. I thought how can you come to me for comfort when you treat me in such a horrible way?
*Self-pity :P
poppycock
There is no such thing as self empathy, by definition!
Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another
There is no conversation with a narcissist. They dominate everything.
Absolutely, if they look down on everyone elses opinions then there's no point expressing opinions to them.
Narcissistic people do not want to have a conversation, they Lecture.
Yes, Everything!!!! Even sex.... this gives me chills! Now, I get it
They believe that they are never wrong and have no respect for other people’s opinions.
That's completely untrue. Everyone here needs to re-evaluate themselves and instead of attacking others perhaps they can take a moment to actually learn and understand how to deal with people.
There is no conversation if you are an idiot. Simple
How to speak to a narcissist: DON'T.
lol
True. CUT THEM OFF. They are ALWAYS looking for a way IN in order to subjugate and massage their own ego.
NO CONTACT.. grey rock. silence..
I agree however this is great advice if you are working with one
Amen... once they show you their demon(s)... stay away from them.
How to speak to a narcissist : Don't. No contact with my Father for over a year has been the best thing I could have done for myself, I am 40 years old.
Good for you. Protect your peace and personal power.
My mother in law was trying to destroy my marriage. we tried for many years but finally had to walk way from the relationship as well. has improved our life so much... sad...But true!
@@brittanyolson3112 Good for you! I know a mother who pretends she's married to her son not to her husband. The husband feels replaced and sad. The son is stuck without a girlfriend even though he's in his 30's now. Some moms cling. She probably still wants to give him a bath and change his diaper. ;)
Stephen Doty Thank You! I know it was extremely hard on my husband she most definitely is /was jealous of me just for being his wife. She even went as far as being disrespectful to my child ... he is 6. I could never understand why until I started doing research into this topic.
@@brittanyolson3112 Good move. I am constantly amazed at the amount of human sorrow and misery that comes from trying to get along with "family" just because they are "family." It's a trap. I cut off relations with backstabbers and bad-mouthers and envious, negative influences, whether they are related to me or not. And I encourage others to do the same. Your own private role models are your own inner peer group, I think. They feel more like family too. ;)
Many people have no idea how dangerous pathological narcissists are, they wreck havoc on peoples lives.
No, they don't know. They are dangerous lunatics. One day, they will be recognised for what they are, and will have to be rounded up and dealt with.
I had many narcs in my life from parents, family, coworkers, husbands etc. I can tell you that I have been drugged, and my life threatened many times. They are dangerous.
Joe Davis: They know exactly what they are doing. Don't be deceived.
Had to get a restraining order against my NPD mother. I get you.
You simply avoid them at all costs. Malignant narcissists are extremely dangerous. You can very easily tell once you have been damaged by one - it is nothing you forget.
Lisa Rice you and you are Narcissus
Lisa Rice , exactly. No matter how you speak to a narcissist, they will turn everything around to be right. I know, my sister is a narcissist and the less I have to do with her, the better.
Carla Bunn amen to that. My sister is an evil narcissist. She treats her husband like trash.
its so convenient to call out everyone a narcist to just not have to handle the argument. when you call others narcists chances are very big you are yourself a big one!
meggi Chances are very big? Based on what?
This will work with people with inflated egos, but any conversation you have with a true narcissist will only be used against you later. Refuse to deal with them and delete them from your life, they are broken, dangerous, and not real human beings.
Spoken like a boss. (Or someone that gets it better than some of the "professionals" ... )
*sigh*
i married one four years ago...
at the time it seemed as if he is just quite opinionated....
dont want to separate...
must bite the bullet, pray alot, and learn 😯
blondago56 I was married to one for nine years, that was ten years too long, and it took twenty years off my life. just sayin...
AMEN
you can't delete your boss when you've been with a company for 10+ years. The techniques described in this video have worked efficiently in allowing me to stay employed with even the worst of employers. In other cases, yes I agree, no contact is the best path to your salvation, but that isn't always an option.
Asking narcissists to 'walk in your shoes' translates as weakness. They'll go for the verbal kill. They're predators, we're prey.
They are truly
Very well said
What a trap to love someone dearly and feel empathy for them; when out of the blue, they crush you.
Yep, going through that right now. It's devastating.
My fckn mother! 😕
Yes sir. That's exactly what happened to me. Goddamn.
@@susiecam1033 yea.. My partner...It hurts we have 2 kids together.
They always crush you
Thank you Dr. Greg for not endorsing a competition with the narcissist. I have to deal with one every day at work and want effective boundaries without losing empathy myself. The battle, it seems, is to not become like them.
Narcissists are a breed all by themselves. I am done trying. why would one waste their energy on them. I have for 64 years. And I am so done. These are cruel people who take pleasure in ones hurt. No thanks!
Karen Loeffler please don't give up ! Keep trying. Their are good people out their.
Mine is my son! He is soon to be 35 years old. I was clueless until he had his son and then purposely made sure to bring me into his life, to take him away, just as suddenly and then sent me a CERTIFIED letter, to inform me that I am no longer family. Long story, but I agree - Do NOT waste your energy on them (even if it is your own child)!!!
Awwwww thanks! It has been several years now. But, in the beginning it was like mourning a death. I suddenly came to realize that my son wasn't who I had fooled myself to him being. The signs were all there, but I choose to ignore them. My husband saw them, but he isn't his father, so it was hard for him to say anything. THANKFULLY I have my husband who treats me very well. I came to realize and understand that my ex-husband fed poison to my son and his relatives (who I foolishly believed was family to me). Just a few years ago, my ex-sister-in-law who I thought we were still always friends all these years, informed me (after I refused to give her son a few thousands dollars for his debt) that she NEVER thought of me as family and then suddenly informed me that I was a "deadbeat mother" and she literally had a dollar amount that she felt I owed my ex-husband (mind you, we purchased the home they lived in, I bought five cars for my son throughout the years, and we would hire my ex-husband if he was ever out of work, to make sure that he was making money). I never in a million years would have believed that if one treats others as they would like to be treated, that the exact opposite would happen. I was blind!
I think I am finally at the acceptance stage, but I still break down and cry and sometimes think/hope that my son will come around (as all the outsiders insist on telling me will happen). I know with my head that it is a lost cause and I will never know my grandson. And, my son will certainly never be the same person to me.
bob miller i think she married one.
Hi there, I was wondering if you could help me with something. I'm trying to figure out if my father is a narc. I'm 80% certain he is but I can't seem to trust myself. However, the thing that got me searching was the realisation that he is constantly lying about things there's no need (in my mind) to lie about. Alcohol, for example. On holiday he gets tipsy to drunk 5/7 nights, but he next day will say he was poorly dehydrated. And my sister caught him looking through my phone so I went upstairs to confront him, and at first he actually tried denying it even though he had my phone in his hands. Later, he told my sister off for 'snitching' and 'making things up.' Does this sound like a narcissist to you? I just need second opinions please. Thanks
My dad is a narcissist. Growing up with someone who lacked any empathy was very difficult, especially during times when I would get bullied at school instead of empathizing with my suffering he would blame it on me. "I bet people don't like you because YOU'RE the one who's an awful person." "It's your fault that person kicked you and called you ugly because you didn't kick them back."
The advice in this video is very sound, and has been the only way I can ever communicate with him without feeling like I'm losing my mind.
My egg donor is a narcissist and it has been the most damaging thing ever.
Mine is always nice to other people, just mean to me.
That's exactly what they do. I discovered recently that my father and older brother are heavily narcissistic. Father passed on the traits to his older son. Whenever someone from outside the family appears, they turn into angels with melodic voices who act like they're victims of their own created circumstances. Then behind closed doors, they show their devil sides like professional Olympians, and NO ONE outside ever knows who they are without the mask. They even put on their masks to other people right in front of you, not caring that you know exactly who they are, you're just not telling the person anything. They're amazing actors. But try to make them look bad in front of those people, which I've done before with a heated head, and that's when you finally pierce through their stone hearts.
Abusive narcissist.
Hmmm... The way you say "mine is..." with emphasis on "MINE" leads one to think you may be projecting.
Tan Tan
One thing I think everyone should learn is not to interpret what other people are saying unless it's obvious through their tone of voice or they say it themselves. Way too many people these days analyze what others say as if they can read minds and look for hidden meanings in their words for some odd reason. Don't bother doing that, because you don't know what that person meant by "Mine," and there's no emphasis on "Mine," otherwise that word would be written in all Caps. That comment doesn't actually lead anyone to think anything but what is written on it. Never make a movie in your head that doesn't exist.
Clinical Psychopath, That's a difficult one because you cannot be to blame for everything the world does to that person. We are the punching bag.
You can't win a conversation or argument with them and walking on egg shells around them constantly can get very old. That is a codependant trait. I will avoid talking to them at all. Be careful they will pump you for any and all information about you and your life. Twist it and use it against you in a shocking moment of anger. Best to completely pull out of the relationship when possible. Even if it's a family member.
Teresa Pedicone Yes. I agree. After a lifetime growing up with a narcissistic and sociopathic mother, I FINALLY freed myself for good. I had to move out of state to do it and get away from her. Then I had to block her on the internet and phone/cellphone. I tried everything I could for years to mend the relationship and make it respectful/equal, but nope. She enjoyed controlling and emotionally tearing me (and many other people, both family and friends). I grieved that I never had a mother, and I never will. What I've had to do to make it a little easier when my emotions/thoughts come up, is pretend that I'm an orphan. I felt like that all my life, so it was easier to think of things that way. I wasted too much of my life with these failed attempts that ended up with her emotionally (and when I was a kid, physically) abusing me. I'm living away from everything and everyone I've ever known now. Just me and my cat. Trust has been broken so much that I struggle with it still. I mainly just keep to myself.
Man...My mouth just dropped open! You just completely described 'this person'.....thanks for the advice.
Jora Kitty - Same, except the narcissist was my father. My mother was so codependent that she neglected me. I was extremely blessed to have had a grandmother, or I would have had no one growing up and likely would have turned more inward than I have. I, too, have found that coming to the realization that I am essentially living as an orphan does - without parents in their life - is better for my mental health. They behave as though I don't exist, so it's become easier to just pretend that they aren't there, either. Otherwise, I'd live like a broken-hearted person, which was how I did live until the last 10 years, and feel that I have no value. But I *do* have value, and so do you.
Teresa Pedicone I like your profile picture.
Teresa Pedicone i have experienced it ..very through. You can't win them when it comes to argument.
IF they're narcissists, asking them to "put themselves in your position" probably wouldn't work. Narcissists lack empathy and thus tend to say "That's your problem, not mine".
Since day one, every problem with his nasty family has been put on me! He has to share not part in it. Thank heaven I have faith, love and trust in the Lord, otherwise who knows where I could have been. Hang in there and keep strong. Don’t let them win. They are idiots. Even animals feel you, how can a human be so low...
Trust me, it doesn't. It's either flat out ignored or completely DARVO'd to make them the victim.
@@alicegharibjanians1449 they sick in head I guess, forgive cos not their fault but protect yourself and others.
@@skidamarinkadinkadink9580 what's darvo'd, not heard of that expression.?..thanks
True
Narcissistic “personality” is literally how I imagine a demon would behave if it were just released from Hell and manifested itself as human. Even the “way” he teaches you to “deal” with them (looking them confidently in their eyes, not being passive, avoiding their tricks [wtf?], etc.) is exactly how someone would expect to deal with a demon...think about it.🔥👿😆
that is very true cause when I was married to a narcissistic husband the one time we were intimate and the last time we were I looked at him and all I could see was the devil in his eyes and soul peering down at me. I said get off of me and never were we intimate again or slept in the same bed.
Hahah, this is so spot on
Amen to that! That's the way I used to see my ex husband. Like he was possessed by a demon 😈
Very true and these people are in fact frequently demonized.
interesting. I efer to my narcissist sometimes as " like a demon", too.
Mother malignant narc. Father enabler. Brother golden child. I survived. 55 years old and slowly healing. A life wasted.
Nathalie Dufour not wasted. You are young...go live. Be good to yourself.
Same here. Although my mom is the enabler, father narc. Brother is the “golden child.” I’m 41 and just beginning to educate myself about how to deal with all the trauma.
I'm in mourning too...6 weeks till my 40th birthday and I've just developed boundaries through mindfulness. Am out of the fog but so very sad at the waste and loss.
Nathalie Dufour Please don't consider your life a waste - that's what narcissists want. I had an extremely narcissistic mother who made a point of telling everyone at my brother's funeral that she was looking forward to watch the last episode of MASH on TV that night!
People like our mothers are highly destructive but you can choose not to be destroyed by them - it really can be done!!!
Our worth doesn't come from people, but God the father. He created you, and only He can heal you. My husband is a son of narcissist parents, and it hasn't been easy. Healing takes time. But none of us is a mistake.
Thanks for your video. Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder cannot be fixed. There is nothing to fix. They are a shell with zero inner workings. Everything is surface. There is no empathy nor compassion to be found within these types. They are relentlessly selfish and self-serving. The only effective way to deal with them is to remove yourself completely with zero contact in the future, unless there are extraordinary circumstances, like shared children. Leave your narcissist today and don't look back.
Thanks for your comment. In my work with people, I have found that so many people have those "extraordinary circumstances" and can't get away.
"Extraordinary circumstances" equate to excuses. You are doing your patients a disservice by encouraging them to continue to take the abuse. I hope you are not a narc and that you take all the comments left on this page, REAL LIFE comments, quit ignoring all these people who are victims of narc abuse and LISTEN. Not everything comes from books, there is a great deal to be said about life experiences of which you clearly have none in this area.
They dont need to be fixed, they are always right. Which means that everyone else is always wrong. If you’d just do what they tell you, there wouldn’t be a problem
Aztlan Mike I agree. No contact. Eliminate toxic acid
@@tiche718 I can't like this enough.
“Their suffering towers above anyone else’s” Word
Oscar Williamson Omg thank you love. Fortunately no I am not
@@marleeshore1387 you are welcome my dearest 🌹🌷🌷🥀🥀🌹🌷🌷.I'm Oscar Williamson from the States ❤️.You?
@@marleeshore1387 which country are you from?
Having a conversation with a narcissist always ends in the conversation being about themselves ..
or in an argument
so at the end of the day, a narcissist is like a young spoil brat that is use to getting it's way
But evil and cruel and totally out for himself
@@cheekychops1800 not always, I try be open and tell people, at the end, I don't believe I'm too different. Everyone does things that benefit them in some way.
Young spoiled brats are not that cruel,n manipulative ...
@@prachibhattarai3833 lol,, maybe until they get a bit older once they’ve reached the point of no return
yeah sort of. But a brat will have empathy.
There is no point in talking to a narcissist you will get nowhere
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Imagine beeing in a family of narcissists. Quiet dinners turn into war fields.
@@iniubongnkanga9390 Alex Kidd in miracle world
It only goes on circles and before you know it, several years have passed you by.
I totally agree with this. You need to be confident, firm, direct, don't let them get off the topic, repeat yourself if you have to. They do not do empathy. If you cry beg plead ...you could die in front of them and they wouldn't care...it's like a game you need to cut through the bs. The attention span thing so true to. I've been coming to all these conclusions but having them articulated helps a lot.
Also, thank you for recognizing the less sensationalized narcissist. It’s validating to hear about levels of narcissism that are not overwhelmingly abusive or malignant. Over time or being raised by a covert narcissist has very demoralizing affects and the loss of self is hard to recognize because the abuse is not as obvious.
"...don't be defensive, don't be sarcastic..." Yes! I've learned this the hard way from dealing with my narcissistic parent all my life. I'd also add that narcissists don't do well with playful teasing. Most of us, when we feel comfortable with someone, will playfully tease them from time-to-time. It's a show of affection & trust. But in my experience, narcissists don't process playful teasing as such, they take it literally and get upset. If you explain you were just being playful they don't always believe you. Narcissists tend to be on guard, always eager to protect their ego.
Very insightful.
They can dish it out but they cant take it. Monsters
Angel La Canfora, this so true, it's as if you have to double think all the time, sort of like talking to a child except it just isn't cute God , they just don't get it, here's a quote I hear many times a day. Me: " You've got a point" etc. etc. - Narc. "Of course it's true, I said it" What a load of bullshit.
Angel La Canfora ‘
Absolutely right, I've had the same experience., it's like a mental shortcoming.
U can't have a relationship w a narcissist. One of the best moments in my life was when I told my narc sister that I really didn't care what she thought about anything...
Rob C exactly! ! Took me awhile but when I finally realised what had been going on my whole life..."I've seen your true colours GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!"
I just stopped talking to mine. My life has improved greatly. No more hurt feelings. Took me decades to realize she doesn't love me, her mother, her brothers. Finally, came to understand why they including her mother, were always angry with her. I thought it was just me. She loves her daughter and grandchildren but I'm guessing as possessions. Perhaps the closest she can feel to "love". Nothing that happens to you can she relate to unless it happens to her later and then she gets it. No empathy. Frankly, I think she's a sociopath, but when she's pulling something she actually seems nervous about it (getting caught), so she doesn't quite fit the definition. On the other hand I think all she could think about with our terminal cancer brother was why didn't he just die already, for the insurance he left her daughter. Too far to visit (30 miles) when he was alive, but in his house looking for the insurance policy while the corpse was still warm. Narcissism with a little sociopathy thrown in???? That was when I was done. Oh, and she raided his house for all the stuff. Loves money and stuff over people.
Yeah, great!!!
Damien Okane e q
What was her reaction?
Never ask them a question. You give them power when you do.
Give them facts, when replying. And keep iT short . Let them know youre not easy to just play around with..
Thank you i needed this
Cuz they can't think to answer a question. It's the weirdest thing to think these ppl can't or won't converse to live a life of deep joy. Sad existence.
So true never , never
Some talk about themselves int the third person, as in, "No, Jane Doe doesn't roll like that. I need to work on my brand, the whole Jane Doe enterprises idea, in case I get products to sponsor or sell in my name some day."
Unless you have a strong, committed familial tie to the narcissist, the best way to handle them is to completely disassociate yourself from them just as soon as you discover that they are narcissistic. They can be very vengeful, so make this break from them in a subtle, non-confrontational way.
What if one of them is your parent? 🙄😐😫
RKWWW Good thing i don't have a strong familial tie with my Narcissistic sister ( 7 years younger than me)
I left home when i was 14 y/o for an entirely different reason and never looked back.
Found out my now 51 y/ o sister is a covert Narcisisst. She is TOXIC and avoid her lkke a plague since 4 yrs ago now
When you have a strong familial tie, it’s harder to “cut them out entirely”. But it’s still up to you - if you have to do it for a time, no one can tell you you can’t- they will try though. It’s an opportunity to learn boundaries. But it’s really hard. Worth it to learn personal boundaries. Helps in all aspects of life.
my former is vengeful
Unless what? CONTACT CERO to all of them. This is the way without doubt
I was almost 40 before I learned how to set boundaries with my mom, these are impossible people to be around.
Sharon truth...I'm 47 just started to learn
Sharon same situation as you at the same age as you
I had a nervous breakdown on my 40th and thats when i realised my mum is a narcissist. I learnt to set boundaries with my mum, i have no contact now with her 4 months now. She is very stubborn.
If you are saying that the sociopath is motivated to be cruel but the narcissist has no interest in doing the same thing, I'd have to disagree. Narcissists live to cause distress and generate supply for themselves that way.
3replybiz / Impossible to get her out . Nightmare for a empath, nightmare
I agree. Narcissist that I dealt with was EXTREMELY cruel and abusive and wrecked havoc at work. THREE people, including me, left because of him! RUN!
3replybiz TRUTH
SNOW WINTER
Yeah, i had a narc gf
Now have another for the last week.
She calls her “ex bf” who she breaks up with regularly in front of me...
To see if it hurts me and if she is gaining control over me.
She doesn’t understand how i am not hurt. It does hurt, but mostly I am just trying to observe a narc and see how they act.
She really is VERY PREDICTABLE....
As a leader, we need to encourage people to achieve goals and advancement . Trump does the opposite . Sad and disheartening.
I do not believe they don't know what they're doing because much if not all of it is premeditated and well thought out. Also my brother and both parents are narcissists. 2 overt 1 covert. They don't care how u feel, u can talk till ur blue in the face. They don't care if they destroy ur life, the only one that matters to them is them. No contact is the best method.
agree!
No, his definition is spot on, your parents are sociopaths. THEY KONW WHAT THEIR DOING. A Narcissist can truly psychologically not. This is widely accepted in the psychological community.
I don't know. I think Narcs have some self-awareness. They just don't care.
They don't care about you, every situation they are in is about being on top, not just with you. That is their (sole) motivation.
I agree ,they are aware of what they are doing . the goal is to control and if that doesn't work insert as much torture and pain as possible to the target . they aren't stupid ! they are crazy ,mean ,and toxic .
An older gentleman once told me: " If you want to know what kind of person you're dealing with, whether on a date or a business meeting....watch how they talk to their server in a restaurant, or in any service related industry, in that setting people tend to reveal their 'true selves'"
Facts!!!
That's interesting
Wow!!! Excellent observation.
I would call them out on it.
That is so true, if they're rude to a server, DEALBREAKER!!!!
Why are there so many narcs these days? I am surrounded by narcissist and sociopath person's. It's frightening.
Shemiah Schene Change your circles. There are alot healthy people out there, but they don't mix very well with narcissists or sociopaths.
You’re one too, everyone is. This is sadness en mass people don’t have back bones anymore. Parents and teachers reward children for doing nothing. Everyone is too sensitive. The world is a vampire. People need to stop being such safe space feel bots and grow a pair. Rome wasn’t built by the wimps it was built by the narcissists!
SOCIAL MEDIA
2 Timothy chapter 3, 1 to 5.
the internet has unveiled them all hahaha it's about time they get their comeuppances
Narcissists can become cruel when they imagine you have slighted them somehow.
Mike Page ...several disorders have that characteristic, though
All those disorders originate from the same corrupt source.
Exactly Mike Page. They will obsess on you. You will become their number one enemy and their goal will be to completely destroy you
@sasquatch1 **** yep.
@sasquatch1 **** Are you a narcissist? I don't recall this thread being about you. Believe it or not, nobody cares about your ex.
Hint # 1
They will NEVER say
"I WAS WRONG"
Only took me 44 years of hearing fake "I'm Sorry"
Ask the person "Every believe you were WRONG?" Their Answer "Why?" And "NO!" Then Run for your life ASAP!
Cassandra Todd Carraway if it's a parent and they come close to any kind of apology it's followed with a ...."but..." ALWAYS going to point the finger back at you, never take responsibility for hurting you, and will make sure to come out the victim and Victor every time
Love your videos! I've realized that you can't even talk to a narcissist because they will turn everything around or lie so you can't even have a conversation with them.
look a narcissist straight in the eye and say, "I hey gotta go, bye".
Literally this is the best way to deal with a narcissist. When my mother starts to act up, this is my "go to" sentence.
F Mills i did that with my mom.
F Mills btw I’m 46 and still trying to deal with her fallout
I have done that, it didn't work. I actually said "Well, time for some cycling".. He immediately put up a fight calling me crazy to want to exercise right after launch. No, a fight is not the right word, because I didn't even have a chance to participate, so it's actually an attack. He started shouting alone, out of the blue (because he knew he was losing his victim right when he needed it). He was literally screaming out of his lungs. To the point that my ears were ringing.
Never to return? That's what I done
If you already know what a narcissist is, you can skip to the 4:50 mark.
Danke schön, as the germans say! (I'm not german)
ToyotaGuy1971 Thanks!
thx
You da real MVP 🖒
ToyotaGuy1971 Thank you
"Empathy Deficiency Disorder"......I like that definition, very fitting for narcissists.
Liza Chen That s a good one !
BUT when things go wrong in their lives, they sure beg and get empathy and sympathy everywhere... they NEVER give, they just get, and then forget they were ever needy of course.
I have several narcissists...family!! My mother, brother and daughter.....dear Lord...I've had to extricate myself from their lives....i miss them but I don't have the stress in my life. ..
Tracey Mixon same! A family full of Narcissists is a blasted nightmare. I cut some out 16 years ago and it’s GREAT! They are twisted souls, with no remorse. And they love to play games. No contact has been wonderful.
I know what you mean. How sad. I just realized today that my son is a narcissist. Ive done so much for him and when i stopped helping him out he treated me like dirt.Thought I'd give him the tough love thing. Talking to me in such hurtful ways. I feel like i have a knife in my heart, and the hurt just doesnt go away. He never apologizes. My older sister has been this way for years never taking blame, or never admits any wrong doings. I walked away from her, but its hard to do that with my son. : (😥😔
@@debbierabe1756 😪 let him go, its best for both of you. Not your fault. He will be okay. And so will you. If not, seek counselling ❤
Yes same here now I hv my daughter in law added to the list n I find my son is also little bit same where to find peace it's difficult I find so many of them in this world now being with these ppl I feel I m also going to include my self to the list for dealing with for so many years u hv had the opportunity to run but I can't not possible
@@iniubongnkanga9390 I wouldn't disply his personal info like that while also mentioning that he's a hacker doing probably not 100% legal stuff all the time. Plus he could get prank calls etc, I'd really delete that and just say that people can ask you for his info. :)
I don't know how I managed to live so long having never encountered, or spent enough time to recognize, a narcissist. To those on this thread who have successfully extricated yourselves, bravo. To those still trying, I send you hope and comfort and prayers you will soon be free and happy.
In early 2014 I had no idea what a narcissist truly was. By mid-2014 I learned that both my mother and younger brother are covert narcissists. Cripes...EVERYTHING in my life is now fully explained. As odd as it may sound, I went no contact with my mother in 2004...a full 10 years before I learned what a narcissist is; however, I also learned that "no contact" is about the best way to deal with abuse too. I have gone "no contact" with my younger brother since mid-2014 though...that one caught me by surprise. I am now fully aware of who the narcs are in my family as well as the proverbial flying monkeys. No contact is by far THE BEST DECISION I have ever made. I feel as though I am now halfway back to normal. That was a lot of abuse though.
God bless you... been there.
Just have to say .I only discovered my sister was a narcissist after she went nuclear on me and she decided in her words I was a judas . she withdrew all contact and she persuaded and bullied two more close relatives to have nothing to do with me. afterwards by accident in my job we discussed narcissistic personality disorder. a light went off so much made sense now. five years later with no contact at all. I feel like I'm a lot saner.
+Ian James: Good on you to make the discovery. I can see that there are literally thousands (perhaps millions) of people who are also discovering not only what a narcissist is, but also that what they have experienced at the hands of such creepy people was indeed "abuse". I believe most victims of this abuse are at least somewhat clueless because they had never experienced anything "normal" in any relationship...until that one day when that proverbial light-bulb turns on and they have that major "aha" moment (just like you described). And naturally, when the narc finds out what you have discovered, they virtually all go as you say, "nuclear" on you, and we get the pleasure of experiencing their psychotic rage (which is one of many narcissistic traits), which of course they promptly blame on their victim...like we're all holding a gun to their heads forcing them to be dickheads :-).
Thanks Pacal , yeah i had no idea what a normal family was my father was very disturbed and normal was of the radar, thankfully i have two nieces ( who i have just seen ) and they are strangely normal. I now work in mental health and its as part of my work that i have studied personality disorders. i am now at peace with myself and i hope i can guide others i work with to realise they are not the monster, and encourage those who are very ill with any PD to seek help and try and have insight into their actions, thanks for taking the time to respond , best advise i can give to anyone is you need time away from your abusers so you can heal.
+Ian James: I have to think that your experience is what many of us have gone through, and you have managed to reach the other side. You have suffered at the hands of an abuser (probably a narcissistic abuser) and then you discover what a narcissist is and you come to the full realization that in spite of what your abuser may have tried to convince you of being, nothing was ever your fault. That discovery is typically a HUGE relief for all of us and is usually a MAJOR revelation. And now you have studied personality disorders and you have made it your career to help others overcome the same abuse. Good on you...well done.
You know, after reading your input here I can say that we (as siblings in my family) had very similar experiences when we met relatives. We were always wondering why they always seemed to be so well adjusted, happy, and "normal"....we were always agitated, frustrated, and tense. That is very telling.
"Put yourself in my place." "Well, I would never BE in your place" Narcissists know that they are so much better that they are above being in your shoes.
good one
good one
To those commenters which speak to saying "goodbye" or leaving or getting away from the narcissist, please be mindful that this is not always possible! Its great advice if it works out like that, but not everyone is in a place to escape. Thank you for this video from those of us who aren't quite able to say "goodbye" to our narcissistic affiliations at this time! It is helpful!
TE BAfanthrough,you got a pretty smile ☺️ lol😁 🤙
I live beside my ex in a granny flat in his property. Theres a huge housing crisis and i have parkinsons. Together with my old dog....i have to find strategies. Thank you for your information. Bless
Grew up with a narcissistic mother and an alcoholic father as an enabler. Thank you so much for making this all so much clearer for me
Same here. And a Golden Child younger brother.
Holy cow, same here: mother divorced, new partner alcoholic. Violence, destroying health, school, relationships, studies and sweeping under the carpet.
Go away from them or lie.
That must of been a lot of fun. Not. Hang in There!
Gee that would of been fun.
Some of these characteristics don't apply to the, "covert." The covert presents themselves as very affable, easy to get along with.. except to their victims..
Maryanne Gelsi-Perry
true.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
And the Covert is DANGEROUS!!!!!
Coverts are an entire other species and the most difficult to deal with in my experience.
@@curlytatertot you don't see them coming, and they conceal their manipulative behavior. They love guilt tripping to get others to do what they want
'How to speak to a narcissist' - The ultimate answer is: DON'T!
If you have to, don't let them know you have an issue with them.... Just quietly slip away. Challenge them, they crank up the heat. If you try to point out their flaws, you will come up on their radar. They will erode your wellbeing, just get away from them.
M H I agree 100%
Yep. Like Paul Simon says: "Slip out the back Jack, Make a new plan Stan, drop off the key Lee, and set yourself free."
M H black men are narcissist
M H
If you leave them , break the relationship they become angry! Very angry !!! I left !!!
@@stopbeingahypocritepeople4437 not all honey but some. Narcissism is a demon. Yes many black men n different kinds of ppl in general these days are demonized u can tell them by their fruits(actions), behaviour and talk. Many become rude, arrogant and disgusting toward others becuz it's a fake ass ploy... they are really immature, ignorant, self-hating lost creatures with a lack of impulse control and a lack of proper socially acceptable, good decision making skills. Their self esteem is low low low n their thought patterns n energy vibrations and sometimes IQs all very low. Love, goodness n kindness and wisdom come from the highest vibration the energy of God... God is love the devil is the master of hate and mistreatment. Men who treat woman bad are evil n worship the devil wether they overstand that or not.
I'm dealing with a narcissistic family ! The whole lot of them are cut out from the same cloth. I haven't slept well in months. I'm so stressed for such a long time that I can't think straight. I was a sweet and loving person, sympathizing with people, thinking goodness changes people ... it doesn't Been 3 years nothing changed. Anything I saw is held against me. The "blame shifting" is a constant thing in every conversation. I have a toddler. I can't just walk out. I feel like their toxins are getting to me I'm constantly sad and my mind is fuzzy. I can relate to every word you say. I almost has a mental breakdown because of never getting heard and always every attempt I tried to have a conversation to sort things, was turned around into a blame . You can't simply walkout on your in-laws, can you ! Specially if you have kids. I wish I could disappear. Run away and never come back but my kid might blame me when she grows up.
So spot on. Thank you. ‘Deficient in empathy.’ It’s like trying to get blood from a stone. :-(
You have described a very MILD case. You have not described a true MALIGNANT narcissist-- Some of the traits of which are:
1. Excessive need for attention- they dominate every conversation and never show interest in anyone else for their own sake.
2. Lack the ability to love others
4. Lack the ability to self-sacrifice
5. Emotionally stunted at the level of a child or adolescent
6. No self-reflection or objectivity
7. Exempt themselves from rules and standards of behavior that apply to others
8. If they do agree to help you or do something for you at all (which is rare unless there is a clear payoff for them), you will pay so dearly, it is a huge NET LOSS for you, and you will have to thank them endlessly
9. They never sincerely apologize
10. They can accept no criticism because their bad behavior is not their fault
11. The only emotions they have are fear, envy, anger, and spite.
12. They seek only satisfaction, vindication, and revenge
13. They classify everyone they know into two groups: those who are FOR me and those who are AGAINST me. They can move people from one list to the other instantly based on their "utility" and "compliance".
14. Other people are treated like objects/tools or characters in a play with a given role to perform FOR the narcissist.
15. The narcissist is skillful at using many tricks and techniques to achieve their goals, including flattery, deception, goading, fake empathy, gaslighting, projection, gossip, pitting people against each other, throwing out false accusations to gather information, demanding loyalty, silence, and keeping secrets, etc.
16. If they sense weakness, they will go for their victim's jugular.
17. They have NO sympathy or empathy and don't think they need to have any. If you tell them you had a rough day, are tired, or have experienced ANY misfortune, they will tell you it is YOUR OWN FAULT.
18. They will mentally file away everything you say to use it against you later. If you are only nice to them, they will imagine something bad you did and tell everyone about it.
19. They secretly delight in others' misfortuns, in wasting other peoples' time, effort, or money, and in causing strife and chaos.
20. When they MUST be good to avoid being punished, ignored, or looking bad to someone they need to impress, it is a major effort that stresses and exhausts them. Fighting, in contrast, energizes them.
AnnInFL you are on the money in your post. I’ve had a narcissistic friend and what a nightmare it was. At first they come across sincere and nice, helpful. You soon learn that’s a front of there real self. For instance I needed her to take me to a doctors appt because I couldn’t drive. But in return she wanted me to buy cigs for her, help pay her bills, buy other things for her. I said it’s my car my gas and can’t u do it just to b a friend without anything in return? I’ve previously helped her many times before giving her laundry detergent letting her do laundry at my home letting her borrow my vehicle which I put gas in for her and so on. It’s always about them, their needs, their feelings, expecting something in return for every little thing. Rarely a thank you came out of her mouth. They weren’t poor just didn’t pay their bills then cried to anyone who would listen to their sobs stories which were lies. I was on meds for pain and she wanted me to share those too! Even if it meant me going without and would threaten me in many ways. I prayed for her because she needed help and have broken ties with her all together. They need help but can’t see that. I’ve tried to reason with her no luck there. My life is much more fuller and brighter with her out if my life but I still pray for her.
That was the best compact analysis of narcissism I've read.
Don't forget the name dropping to make themselves appear important. After 40 years married to a narcissist, we are starting the process of divorce. He asked for it because I'm too difficult to live with. Gaslighting at its utmost! It's extremely difficult to agree to conditions that are fair to me. It's all about him regardless of how it screws me. I made the money, raised the 3 kids, kept the house clean and maintained (as much as he would allow), paid the bills, etc. A narcissistic spouse can totally break you down and leave you an empty shell. Others don't understand it because that's not the treatment they get. My advise after trying my best to have a loving marriage is run as fast as you can ASAP. It only gets worse with time.
Sweet Harmony, this is the best descriptive list of a narcissist I've ever seen.
So true!!!! Ever one listed!#
A narcissist is incapable of putting himself or herself in your place. Not possible.
Xander Taylor wrong!
right this is bad advice
Xander Taylor That's right. When I catch a cold, my husband tells me, "I don't understand how you're sick. I didn't get sick. I never get sick." Oh geez. As much as I try to explain how we are ALL different, he doesn't understand. 🙄
agree
so... who actually is the narcissist? Why should another even think about you in the first place? Afterall, they are wrapped up in themselves as much as you are wrapped up in yourself. I;m starting to understand what this Atifa stuff is about now. gimme gimme gimme ,,,, but don't take dont take dont take.
having a conversation with a narcissist is like wrestling with an alligator.
Laura Bower lol so true!!
I soooo relate.
They are not great listeners and speak over you when talking. They also deflect and jump from topic to topic. When trying to get clarification, they constantly ramble, leaving you more confused
You can overrule them only once you earn Steve Irwins skills and strength.
Worst, I think
But Narcissist do enjoy hurting others....they get their 'Narcissistic Supply' from hurting you.
Right, energy transference
It comes from the Greek legend of a man called Narcissus, who seeing his own image reflected in water feel completely in love with himself to the exclusiong of all others.
Elizabeth Butler he fell in and drowned in the myth
Elizabeth Butler
Thanks I didn't know that
But it sounds more accurate than this video content
@@kangakid5984 that is all they deserved
You have to literally talk to them like their a child.
like THEY'RE a child
simosc2 Was that really necessary? Looks like we have a English teacher with issues.
1,5k narcissists disliked this video.
Or the advice wasn’t helpful.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Lol
😂😂😂
@@iniubongnkanga9390 oh that's not narcissistic
Never ,never confront them. They have a button inside that if pressed, they will become psycopaths.
I once refused to back down in an argument with a narcissist like I always had before. I wouldn't give in. Suddenly he leaped across the room, grabbed me around the throat and started choking me to death. I felt sure I was going to die at his hands. Then just as suddenly he released me. He never apologized or even mentioned what he had done. He had no empathy for my suffering. No guilt, no remorse, no asking for forgiveness and promises to never hurt me again, like most women batterers do. It was as if it didn't happen. He didn't kill me but he killed our relationship. When I left him, he thought I'd "gone crazy." He could not perceive that he had driven me away. He was truly "empathy deficient."
The one thing he could not control was my leaving him. He had tried to control every aspect of my life--what I ate, how much I weighed, when the dishes were to be done, etc. He was my personal Dictator. I tried to explain his behavior by looking for family-of-origin clues, but I could never really put my finger on what was wrong with him until I found out what someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder was like--but this was many years after I'd left him. It is a relief to finally understand what was wrong with him and know that leaving him was the right thing to do. He tried to whittle my self-esteem down to nothing. He could never be pleased. He was humorless. He robbed my soul and tried to shred my self-worth. I knew I was dying inside and that if I stayed with him "I" --my strong sense of who I was-- would die.
My story. I confronted my narcissist coworker. She has been giving me hell ever since, while making it look as if I am the guilty one. My boss is not up to her, so I am leaving as soon as I have another job.
@@alexandradeheiden2072 I hear you, but you can fight back. Go see HR and put your complaint in writing. Use the words "hostile work environment" in association with the narcissist. Name her! If HR does not look into it, you can go see an attorney. You will likely win your case or can go on unemployment, uncontested, if the employer does not help. Document the heck out of what she is doing. Have a work friend witness her chaos and document too. tape record or video record any of the crazy making.
@@gisele2926 Thank you so much for your reply. I already tried. HR says they can't help me. I'm a temp, I should complain with the temping agency. Which I did. The temping agency talked with HR and managed to get me a job at another location. So I still have a job and my temping agency's back, but this collegue is still working there. As a temp, you have hardly any rights.
**sociopath. Psychopaths are born, sociopaths are conditioned
I have to disagree that a narcissist doesn't know or understand what they are doing. They absolutely know what they are doing...and its intentional. The hurt and the pain is intentional! Live with one....and you will know!
Precisely !!, A better realization is ; THEY don't see anything wrong with their actions. TOTAL self absorption, and total contempt for any distraction from that absorption. Eventually when you realize how narrow and pitifully selfish they are, YOU are ready for a profoundly disturbing realizations ( BY this time they have already gotten rid of you ) THAT you wasted a lot of positive energy, and you nether liked or really loved them....none can.
Michael Embree, now that I understand and agree with.
The best way is not to speak with them. Just run and never look back.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Jane Bowlin, you are absolutely right 🤙 🤙
I stumbled upon this video and was so glad that I did. I've read through people's comments here and am grieved that there are so many that have given up on narcissistic people. Although, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND! One of my son's is married to one of these types and it has caused so much pain in the family! This video helped me to see my very own son (not the married son) who is on the brink of adulthood. He can be the sweetest young man in the world, but, honestly, looking back, he was always a narcissist. Had I known more about this before he was even born, I could have changed so much of the way we raised him! I just had no idea that he had this 'disorder'. He is always kind and respectful to the public, but at home and among close friends, he is completely self-centered. I know he loves his parents very much, but he does not have an empathetic thought outside of 5%. This video has given me some ideas, some tools, to perhaps begin to help him before he launches off on his own. If we don't get anywhere, then maybe the US Marine Corps will help. :)
gawd. just run. run as fast as you can. From the narc. Talking is just a waste of time. Just get out of there before they think they can manipulate you again.
You mean leave the country?
More like leave the world.
It is a grave mistake to empathize with a malignant narcissist you have to act with the same caution one would take to avoid the risk of getting mugged or robbed of their valuables. you just have to protect your psyche the same way.
I'm an empath person, also Clairsentience person..A narcissistic person is too much for me to be around..Because I have empathy, and have always tried to put myself in someone else shoes, so to speak..I can feel their pain, or heartache or sorrow, even happiness....Being around a narcissistic person is draining all my emotions, I can't be around people like this...I won't waste my time or emotions on people like this, they never really give in to your feelings.. Or try to help themselves, to change or put aside their 'Self Centered' self once in a while..No, so what I do I use their narcissistic behavior right back at them, using ME first and my feelings and then move on away from people like this..Sometimes a taste of their own medicine is good, or it could be just a waste of my time..Moving on is the best way for me.
yes! speak to them the same way they speak to you, act like them in their presence, they will soon realize you won't be a good person for their uses, and generally avoid you in favor of others who are easier to control or who jump to their tune.
Di Di right!
I have read they target Empaths. I am an empath too. And believe you me, I RAN for the hills once I really got my ^8906545^^^ together and realized what I was dealing with. RUN!
I'm an empath, clairsentience and a healer. It's obvious why such a person (father) would be so attracted to my energy, but I didn't know I'm all those things back then. It took me many years to realize why off of everybody else in the family he chose me to put up his fights. They just want our light, that's all. Energy vampires. Mine, would even put up a fight because I was not reacting, not responding, not giving him a step to put up a fight. So he put up a fight for that, accusing me I have an attitude towards him. Rest of the family could now breath as they were not the target, so they were also accusing me for making him shout "again". My very mother asked me to go ask for forgiveness from him once and I had NO idea what I have done this time to trigger his anger. He was just angry, as usual, but I was the one who should take the blame, because, she just needed protection, as she was the next in line to be attacked. Now I don't talk to him. I have to meet him as I'm going to them for a few days. I have no idea why I'm doing this. Maybe to shut other relative's mouths, maybe to ease my own self blaming for being relatively absent from my mother's life. I know I should keep running, but I'll just go :/
I'm an emoath too di di. How very spiritually understanding of you. Poor you. Just help people who are capable of bowing at your feet
I’m a narcissistic human BUT very empathetic & self aware of my tendencies as well. I do understand his way of explaining and being that language shapes perception you need a label to explain the characteristics of human tendencies. Being that we are the awareness, once we become self aware of that, the true change & characteristic of the individual will Come if they choose to.
“The difference between a social path & someone who’s highly aware, is the intention behind this actions” -Rp
Narcissist can be easily manipulated, if yo know how to stroke their ego,
because they are not looking at anything or anybody but themselves.
They just want their ego fed,
and they will do anything to get it.
Many a dictator was a Narcissist who was actually manipulated by the
person standing behind them, the one who was actually pulling the strings.
Glenn Billings True..but it makes me practically vomit to do so.
a sociopaths perspective on narcissism, interesting.
Mint Sharpii Some people fight fire with water rather than just standing around, whining about the heat.
Who has the energy to play these stupid games?It's emotionally draining.It's just an endless vicious circle of pain,misery and manipulation.Why would you waste your life scheming and plotting when you can do something productive and positive? Cutting off all ties and focusing on your happiness and health seems like a better option.
sounds fun lol
some of your observations are great however narcs 100 % know what they do and LOVE IT. they want to hurt you and get a reaction - its what they feed off of. If called on, they will of course say who me i had no idea i was hurting you! i just feel...(victimized, offended, yadda yadda) so if you are listening to them yeah they dont know. If you are listening to their victims they always know.
mz you're right! smh
..
Definitely get away from Narcissists... There is no reasoning with them!
Thank you! This is useful and realistic advice for handling narcissistic people for those of us who either don’t have the privilege of going no contact, or opt not to.
This is great advice if you are interacting with a narcissist from a therapy standpoint. If you are a regular civilian no amount of appealing to their logic will work because they lead with their emotions. It would be like talking to a toddler on the verge of a tantrum. You’d probably have a better chance at getting through to the toddler. The best advice is to limit interaction to zero if you can.
+Danni Sapp
"The best advice is to limit interaction to zero if you can." I think this video is aimed at people who cannot.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist and it was the best but then worst relationship of my life. my intuition was going crazy everyday. trust your intuition and get out of that relationship as soon as you can.narcissists lie, cheat and manipulate and the list goes on and on. I have been discarded and I'm glad it's over. if you are with a narcissist get out now.
This world is getting more and more narcissistic people and it is pushed by tv,music,facebook,selfies ect
Agreed 100%!!!
The USA are leaders in this field.
+GrumpSkull uk aren't far behind
Yes but some narcissistic behaviour (selfies for example) and NPD are not the same thing.
Thanks. Im thinking about this a few years now. Talking to them is like loosing dignity and personal values
_"How to speak to a narcissist"_
*Don't.*
Fart instead
Lol yes im goin to vomit.
puke is also extremely effective 😂
🤮
lol the loudest fart in the room lol
Or belch
LOL
A narcissist always expects you to justify yourself to them. I just tell them, this isn't a negotiation, I'M TELLING YOU.
lambchopxoxo luv it
This is a perfectly splendid response, one that I intend to use, in fact, I will implement this today, thanks for the tip🌚
This guy obviously has never really seen a narcissist or dealt with one.
You CANNOT appeal to or reason with a narcissist in any way, shape or form. PERIOD.
They simply WILL NOT hear it and you will get sucked into one of their fucking endless, merry-go-round, circular arguments.
The only way to deal with them is to CUT THEM OFF. .... NO CONTACT... EVER.
End of story.
I cannot make no contact with a leadership figure. They control the system like a puppet and you are one of the puppets in the system.
Exactly.
Collin Very well-said....Still worse, sociopath narcissists(semantic) pursue power & obviously, have no problem abusing it. I think that both types do not experience empathy. Some experts believe that among the very power-full, ONE in FIVE are socio/psycho-paths. YIKES!!!
mmm.... I have dealt with a good number of narcissists in my life and, yes, sometimes you just have to get away from them. But your comment misses two key things. First, not eveyone can "cut them off" because their situation won't allow it. Second, narcissism is not all or nothing. There are gradations of narcissism. Not every narcissist is completely devoid of any capacity for empathy.
+Steps for Change There is no such thing as an empathic narcissist, no matter what kind of narcissist they are.
Don't engage. I moved 1800 miles away.
karma is such a bitch just wait
Patton Kirkpatrick me too I moved two states over and changed my number
Pat P yes
Tried that one once, met a whole nother group of them. The thing that made things better for some of "good ones", the ones who were being engineered to be the same, but I knew them long enough to know they didn't have to end up that way... was threatening lives. Sad, but true. (The terms were some sick literary level bullshit, and could have cost a life, I had seen it happen before when younger) I still deal with the same on home turf, because it is just so prevalent. I am going to doubt the conclusion will be followed, since it would require a lifetime of conveyance, but that is what the "deepstate" is. It is a social structure (both public and private) that is based in this concept, and one drives the other. Since there is no consideration for what is real (what occurs in the physical world), peoples lives, and harmful causation in the short and long term. This as long as some overly socialized individuals can maintain their status, and they will defend that at any cost. So I guess the only thing respected, is being willing to do that, too.
Patton Kirkpatrick. Me too! Been a peaceful 2 years, no contact
once a narcissist always a narcissist they will never change
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
Very true! In fact I believe they get worse with age!
Several psychologists who treated my ex-wife, who we made every attempt to "rescue", told me the same thing
Grace Jegels absolutely true! They will exhaust you if you try to help them. Just walk away.
Excellent information. No wasted words. Easy to listen. Clear and professional. Thank You.
But wrong. Dr. Greg Hamlin knows nothing.
How to speak to a narcissist: "Bye now"
Some of us noticed right away that fb was the ultimate narcissistic tool
Katrinka Sandoval yes I agree. It is a set validating platform !! And attracts the like. If is only beneficial for orginazations to help spread important info. I don't belong to it and probably never will. I don't miss it. And have more time because of that I think.
Omg
Omg I'm awakening to so much. My ex LOVES FACEBOOK! Him and his ex are at war on it now posting pictures of new relationships LOL I'm out the shit!
It is incredible how many of my neighbors and relatives have just been described here. Trying to have a good conversation is worse than a rectal exam. And afterwards.... the pain from the interaction remains for some time. Thanks for the hints .
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
dealing with them is like having hemariods a pain in the ass.
notice they use sarcasm back when you dont feed into their BS and try being reasonable.; they are trying to provoke a response that they can see themselves as being victimized by then will shame you for reacting ... cycle repeats .. poor me
Exactly!
Boy this hit home. My mum says " I always say the wrong thing" . ..man if I had a nickel...
Yes, this is true!
@@pamalooo My mom said that too, she played the victim if I said anything to her or tried to talk to her, like she was being victimized.
Ask them why they haven't progressed beyond being a selfish 2 year old.
Sean Michaels 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just have that kevlar vest handy if you do ask them that.
correct
She turns it around and says that's you its absolutely bizare never seen anything like it.
I use to tell my bd that all the time to grow up you act like a toddler. Four years of it and I dropped that loser he's mad he couldn't take me under power of an Aquarius ♒
I disagree with you when you say that the narcissist doesn't know they are hurting you. My mother is a malignant narcissist. she is very calculating about what she says and does to hurt me. it's when you get close to the narcissist that you know that not everything they do is off the cuff.
+Warrior Bushido Certainly a grey area, I agree.
+Warrior Bushido Yes and if you're clear about what you want, that will tell them exactly what they need to stop you from getting in order to feel dominant. I don't agree with much on this video.
+Zan G yeah, exactly, the minute you make clear what you want, they do the opposite.
+Warrior Bushido I wouldn't argue with a doctor if I were you. Also, he's talking about narcissists in general, it may not cover every single narcissist on the planet. You also have to remember that a mental illness can overlap with over mental illnesses.
***** I have 27 years of living with one. Netter than any text book explanation. Moreover, ar base narcissists want to inflict pain on people to feel good about themselves. you should never disclose your heart to a pathological narcissist, they destroy people's happiness for fun. While its true thag all are different, a core characteristi. Is pathological envy and sadism. If they lack this, they are not narcissists. The definition of narcissism is distorted. Their lack of empathy comes less from ego absorption and more from a need to control their kmmediate envioronmemt qnd hve people agree to whatever they think should be.
I once asked my husband to please put himself in my shoes and try to see where I was coming from. His response blew me away. He said the only shoes he was putting himself into were his own.
I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner's phone and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius, you can text/call +1 (415) 323-6758 or reach him on WhatsApp +1 (724) 330-3252 and also write to Via Gmail (geniustracker701)
You just keep repeating that.
sounds so familiar...
I hear that ALL the time ! I don't even bother to try to understand him anynore
I'm married for 20 yrs now
@@marilyngriffin4183 hope you are not with a narc 🙄!