China Adoption-Hubei-Holly's gotcha day

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 682

  • @CharlotteLinAttorney
    @CharlotteLinAttorney 5 ปีที่แล้ว +322

    I can't believe the number of heartless comments accusing this child of being a brat or spoiled. Have you ever seen what trauma looks like? Imagine your only family and everything you have ever knew took you and everything you owned and dropped you off to some strangers and said bye. She lost her family!!!! Imagine that! and these strangers don't even speak your language! and she is going and has zero power over this situation. IMagine being so powerless against such a change and losing everything. How is she supposed to understand what is going on at her age. Be emphatic! And stop judging behind your sheltered narrow !I need lives. Some people went through awful terrible ideals in life and all you can do is judge them instead of showing empathy. she's clearly scared and is fighting the only way she knows. People grow up

    • @belle7034
      @belle7034 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I'm glad she found a family but she didn't come across frightened she was very confident I thought. x

    • @carolberwindscheffler2708
      @carolberwindscheffler2708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      This happened to me but I was dropped off at orphanage at 7. I was so traumatized I have never recoverd. To lose everything n everyone u r familiar w. The pain actually got so bad I was hurting physically as well. No one there tried to help me. It was nightime put me in dark room n left. It was the 60's in U.S.A. THEY TREAT CHILDREN TERRIBLY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. THERE WAS A PEDOPHILE IN CHARGE OF CHILDREN. MY "bratty attitude" saved me he left me alone. In Seattle Wa. Seattle Children's home.

    • @Lily6806
      @Lily6806 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @ce collie I have kids and this does seem to be spoiled. Certainly not by the orphanage but the foster parents I reckon they spoiled her a lot and it doesn't take a kid 5 mins to pick up on I can get whatever I want attitude. She's telling them everything there is her's including the video camera. She certainly is greedy. You can also see in the hotel room how she is playing up and she's very very confident (down to foster parents ) after being with her beloved foster family she's been spoiled and it shows here. In the hotel she was full of confidence..
      Was she any frightened yes of course and that also did show through.. but her behaviour was also that of a little girl who had been very spoiled and when crying out she wanted something the foster family gave her it and that's what I see here in a lot of this vid and yes a she's afraid. This is certainly different from the rest of the Gotcha day or adoption days where the kids are so terified they can hardly put one foot in front of the other...
      Now if you checked my first comment I didn't leave a nasty comment I left my opinion and like you I'm entitled toy opinion. You don't have to agree but that's my opinion!. In didn't come after you because I disagreed with you..

    • @flameangel202
      @flameangel202 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yes, I agree, there would certainly be a certain amount of trauma these children experience, taken away from the familiar surroundings, people and language. It is wonderful for them to have a new life and be loved by adoptive parents, this all comes with time, patience and understanding.I was adopted from Asia by English parents but the difference is I was only a few months old so only remember them, I can't remember my foster family at all but these children are older so the adjustment is more difficult.

    • @rissadawn2047
      @rissadawn2047 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      People are insane. I fear for our world

  • @suemoore9276
    @suemoore9276 6 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    Beautiful people to take an older child. My heart wept when Holly hugged her new daddy, a very touching moment.

    • @burjuddubowy347
      @burjuddubowy347 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      When we went to China the first time in 1980, my red-haired Mom sometimes made children afraid. They were scared she was a red devil! Tourists were not as common then, so the change in a recent visit was incredible. Modernization and more contact have made such a difference. the

  • @ARealLiveMom
    @ARealLiveMom  8 ปีที่แล้ว +452

    For everyone that has recently commented about concern for Holly and her adjustment and progress, she is doing extremely well, and strongly bonded to all of us. The blog I have kept was updated fairly regularly for a while, but, as life gets busy you tend to not update the outside world as your first priority. Our life got very busy, and Holly has flourished, is 12 years old now, in 6th grade, and a top student in her class. She is healthy, strong, and bright. For more than that you will need to take the time to read the blog, and I will try to get an update on there this holiday week as time permits. Thank you for those who are genuinely caring about Holly. For those that interpreted my behavior in the video as not caring, rude, or whatever, I spent quite a bit of time preparing for that moment, knowing that she would either be shut down emotionally, or, inconsolable. I was glad to see how bonded she was to her caregivers, and yes, it was so frustrating that the officials were hurrying us through paperwork, I felt like I couldn't take the time to ease my new daughter through the trauma of being ripped from all she knew and forced to leave with total strangers that looked nothing like anyone she ever knew. We had worked for months preparing her through the orphanage workers as best we could but were faced with limitations on how much we were able to do. We prepared ourselves for the experience of the actual adoption process in China, as we had already adopted once before from another Chinese province and knew how it all worked. That said, I look back at that video and am actually okay with being firm with her from the start. Children thrive in an environment where they know who is in charge, who is the protector and the disciplinarian. Without it, they are fearful that no one is really going to take care of their needs. And no, we do not believe in corporal punishment of any kind. If you read the blog, you will see a happy well adjusted child.

    • @yakesitahh1loveavalosferre152
      @yakesitahh1loveavalosferre152 7 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      ARealLiveMom good job Holly and the parents she was blessed with in raising her the right way , God bless your souls , such a touching video. 🙏🏻

    • @lesleymurphy60
      @lesleymurphy60 7 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      I would t worry what people think, it's easy for them behind a computer screen to judge. You are amazing, you did brilliant. It must have been so difficult. I've just read your blog and what an amazing family you are. You should be so proud of yourself 😌

    • @malina1239
      @malina1239 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Moon unit Murphy I totally agree, they handled a very difficult situation in a great way . So glad that everybody is doing great now😊

    • @mariebrown9953
      @mariebrown9953 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ARealLiveMom

    • @ndndbmd4875
      @ndndbmd4875 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ARealLiveMom

  • @opportunityknox8575
    @opportunityknox8575 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Thank you that you adopted an older child, they need just as much love 💕

  • @sharonfloyd6288
    @sharonfloyd6288 5 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    I really loved how China’s adoption agency took their time with a little girl for her new parents . Everyone was so patient with her because it will take time she’s not a baby. She’s a gorgeous little girl. Congratulations on your daughter💕

  • @LittleChena
    @LittleChena 6 ปีที่แล้ว +132

    It would be way easier if they had a quiet place to meet for the first time. Never will understand why they have to do it in a hall with so many people.

    • @happyhoney3433
      @happyhoney3433 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      None of us know the challenges they face at making this happen. All I know is they do their best to care for these children and they've helped thousands find families

    • @annagnr3002
      @annagnr3002 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I agree with you..

    • @MelaninaGlam
      @MelaninaGlam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree

    • @monthetic6841
      @monthetic6841 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree they are strangers to these baby's & children

  • @churchathome9552
    @churchathome9552 6 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    So many adoption videos like to sugar coat the reality of this process for children and adoptive parents. This is an honest and realistic telling of the story of adopting older children, and especially internationally. This initial fear can be overcome with persistent gentleness coupled with firmness. If there is anything remotely problematic with this initial meeting, it is that the agency personnel stayed around too long. Also, I really hope these parents understand the long-term manifestations of attachment disorder.

  • @stevecheevers7337
    @stevecheevers7337 5 ปีที่แล้ว +132

    This is one of my favorite adoption videos, cause it feels real. Nice to see a family not shy away from the tough parts of adoption, which I think a lot of families probably either cut out the tough times or show a small portion and only show the good moments.Also so nice not to hear the likes of a Thousand Years and So Far To Find You like songs been played over the soundtrack. Also no use of bible quotes and family seen the sights.
    I don't think Holly was been a brat, I think she was just sussing out her new family and this isn't the first time you see this in adoption videos, I bet a lot edit this kind of stuff out cause they just want to show the happy family moments. I like that the mother say's that her new daughter didn't bond with her straight away, no sugarcoating it. I think some viewers want the nice and happy moments with the child laughing and joking after a hour or so with her family but that's not what always happens with Adoptions, it takes hard work and patience.

  • @lulusmartypants9799
    @lulusmartypants9799 8 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    can't imagine how overwhelming the whole situation must be for her, she seems outgoing and intelligent, and so beautiful, God bless you all

  • @MontagZoso
    @MontagZoso 6 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I wish they had put everyone in a quiet “getting to know you” room. ☹️ loved seeing her and Dad eating together...priceless.

  • @evelinebouteiller
    @evelinebouteiller 11 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    To be a real mother is be the only one to understand the most deep fear of your child. You proved to be her mother at the first moment! Your a marvellous!

  • @tracyharmon2965
    @tracyharmon2965 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Wonderful that you adopted an older child, they are the ones who seem to be forgotten in the adoption process God bless you so glad she is doing well

  • @pierrelalonde3705
    @pierrelalonde3705 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    It made me cry and it made me happy that she has two loving parents, congrats to you two.

  • @MegaDeansy
    @MegaDeansy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    What a wee character she is, not afraid to stand her ground - love seeing this video !

  • @grounderprincess7799
    @grounderprincess7799 5 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    A child going home with strangers is bratty? What planet do you people live on? Imagine your child being taken away from everything they know. Do you think they’d be placid about it? Do you think they’d be scared and go fight or flight? Yes her new home was stable but how was she to know that! I see a scared child and posters with no feelings or compassion! Glad the little girl settled well back at her new home.

    • @idamajor4252
      @idamajor4252 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The wau they do it are wrong. The prospective parents should stay a day for a few hours to be with the child, once she is trusting the propective parents, then take her out. It takes a bit tine but it is better.

    • @idamajor4252
      @idamajor4252 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The way they do are wrong. I feel sorry for the child.

    • @jenniferwills9752
      @jenniferwills9752 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      She's probably nervous meeting her new family.

  • @ead9726
    @ead9726 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    My heart went out to your daughter and yourselves there. So lovely to read she is growing up with you and is a happy girl. I was a tiny baby when I was adopted.

  • @ARealLiveMom
    @ARealLiveMom  11 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    I look back on that day and see how scared she was. I just reminded myself at the time that she was demonstrating to us that she was strongly bonded to her orphanage family, and that meant she could bond to us.

    • @grounderprincess7799
      @grounderprincess7799 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      ARealLiveMom that’s the way I saw it too. People saw her connections as an act of defiance but I saw it as the most human reaction in her situation and proof she is a deep feeler and not closed down. Much love for the future ❤️

    • @carolmiller8310
      @carolmiller8310 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Love and Understanding n Most of all TRUST FOR THIS YOUNG CHILD 😯

    • @carolmiller8310
      @carolmiller8310 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      GO FORWARD N ALL OF U BE HAPPY BLESS U ALL X

    • @daisyhoney3088
      @daisyhoney3088 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      glad it worked out for you.I have seen the other side of a bad adoption thats all. I know of a family where the little girl only loved the dad and got in the way of thier marriage and ended up in foster care again. Given away

    • @shamseshamousa
      @shamseshamousa 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The fact is that she is Transgender and all her uneasiness is that she is a boy and adoption people lied to you

  • @salemdorie841
    @salemdorie841 5 ปีที่แล้ว +227

    thank you for posting actual documentation of the process instead of having a stupid song in the background so we can't hear anything

  • @sytskepeterson6559
    @sytskepeterson6559 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I love how you allowed the little one to decide on how quickly she wanted to be near you. You so often see that adoptive parents pick up a child that is kicking and screaming. It is amazing how patient you were and how you allowed her to set the pace.

  • @catdreaminginthesun6901
    @catdreaminginthesun6901 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    How hard for any child, but at 5! That is so tough, being ripped away from what you consider your family! The new ppl look nothing like all the people you have known, and do not speak your language!

    • @Jaxy-nm4xs
      @Jaxy-nm4xs 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Judy Najar 2what does that mean?

    • @ARealLiveMom
      @ARealLiveMom  3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      We are a family that does not believe in using corporal punishment. We believe it only teaches a child that if you are bigger you can hit and that children should behave from fear. We were firm with her, and used natural consequences, time outs, and removal of priveleges to teach her right from wrong. Holly very much loves knowing there are rules, and she strictly adheres to them. This was a traumatic and extremely difficult time in her life, so, her behavior wasn't just simply naughtiness. I was actually grateful to see that Holly was strongly bonded to her caregivers, that told me that she was cared for and not neglected by them. I was grateful that she expressed her fear and stood her ground. That told me she was a normal, healthy child who knew something was going on that she didn't want to happen and was able to tell us so.

  • @starskater1988
    @starskater1988 11 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Such a cute kid! I think that it's awesome that people are adopting older kids too! God bless!

  • @bkw11
    @bkw11 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I got to stop watching these adoption videos. My heart can only take so much! Children are so precious! OMG

  • @JLaurieRobinson
    @JLaurieRobinson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I stumble across your video and went to finish breakfast and came back and the video was gone. I was so worried that Holly wasn’t going to come back home with you all, but when I saw that she took a liken to her dad, then I knew that she will be alright. I wanted so bad to help calm her down by talking to her in Chinese. I been living in Taiwan for 16 years and understand her personality. I just say that you both have done a great job with Holly. You are good people and parents.

  • @linsampson6340
    @linsampson6340 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    She's obviously super bright and i think the mother behaved perfectly, difficult to be rejected, glad she is doing well.

    • @dentedcokecan
      @dentedcokecan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      IN mom's blog she seems to have bonded with mom and the whole family she is a beautiful young lady now...

    • @shamseshamousa
      @shamseshamousa 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      She is transgender
      She is teenager but boy

  • @TheDebbyrose
    @TheDebbyrose 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    She was blessed to have been given a wonderful loving family, time has passed, I'm still watching this video, sure hope you have updated...it's tougher when they can escape on foot, patience, patience, patience, you guys did amazing with her💖💖

  • @GadgetManDan
    @GadgetManDan 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I've watched several of these adoption videos and it must be very scary when the child is old enough to understand that they are going to be taken away from the people that they have known for some time to be with people they just met. They don't realize that their life is going to change in ways they could never imagine. If they did know they would be so happy that they are now going to have a chance at a life with a forever family and they are going to experience the love of a family. I was not adopted, I was the youngest of 4 kids and my dad crossed over when I was 48 and my mom when I was 57 so I had a very stable upbringing. I have 2 brothers who have also crossed over so I only have a sister left so it's good to have family. I never wanted kids because I was too selfish and I'm okay with that but watching these videos really impresses me. The people who adopt have made a great decision and they are the kind of people that change people's lives. I really do respect everyone who does what they have to do to make a better life for these kids. You are in my prayers and God bless you all...

  • @amitangpua749
    @amitangpua749 6 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    She was scared,and i feel so sad for the mother,she just gave her space because the little girl was so emotional 😢,hope she’s doing fine now🙏🏻

    • @ARealLiveMom
      @ARealLiveMom  6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      To see updates on Holly go to our blog, I haven't updated videos of her for quite a long time. cricketanderson.blogspot.com/

    • @judithryle2113
      @judithryle2113 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How did you finally get her out of there. It didnt show you leaving with her

    • @anonimxx805
      @anonimxx805 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ARealLiveMom öv

  • @hanmuz51
    @hanmuz51 6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Love her spirit. She was so small, but she was running the show.

    • @leanneadams594
      @leanneadams594 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Han Muz she was a disrespectful loud brat ! Absolutely worst behavior I have ever seen

    • @ocodeskamcdbsm
      @ocodeskamcdbsm 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@leanneadams594 it wasn't. You should look in the mirror and then you would see a grown brat

  • @lynnbairefoot3907
    @lynnbairefoot3907 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Bless her heart! She’s so scared and unsure. I pray for her.

    • @lvcnlvcn5534
      @lvcnlvcn5534 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lynn Bairefoot
      She sees to have worked out good and she is fine now. She even got a terrific student award in her school. Brave girl, good luck to you.

  • @professormiao5033
    @professormiao5033 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    世界因有你们才如此美丽!谢谢你们伟大的爸爸妈妈!!!
    这孩子是如此的幸运,有这样好的爸爸妈妈,长大了要好好孝顺你的养父母,别回中国寻亲。只有他们才是真正爱你的人甚过亲生父母。

  • @frangipaniserolfin4447
    @frangipaniserolfin4447 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    God bless this beautiful family she seems to be daddy's little girl ❤️ so beautiful to see that connection and how everything had flowed from the start to the end may the good Lord pour more blessings upon this family God is good 💞🙏😊

  • @tanyabrown9839
    @tanyabrown9839 7 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    this video made me cry, she was so scared.

    • @Taylor-eq3nz
      @Taylor-eq3nz 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      She was frightened?!..Seriously this child.was the furthest thing from scared..lol.😊

    • @grounderprincess7799
      @grounderprincess7799 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Taylor 2109 she was obviously scared and so would you be in her situation. It wouldn’t be normal not to be scared. She’s leaving everything she knows.

    • @leanneadams594
      @leanneadams594 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Taylor 2109 she was being a brat !!!!!

    • @paulcharles5128
      @paulcharles5128 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Leanne Adams My God!, a young child, used only to growing up in an orphanage, never having seen american people, used only to speaking in Chinese, and suddenly having to leave everyone and everything she knows behind. Travelling to a strange land and not knowing anyone. You call a young child being scared of this as being bratty? I thank God that she will never have the misfortune of having you as her parent.

  • @patiencedweh7125
    @patiencedweh7125 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I have watched six adoptions videos and all I can see is love.
    Isn’t that amazing?
    God is good.
    I want to be adopted too😭but am too old for that 😄
    By God’s grace I will adopt a child or children when the time is right.
    My prayers🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @jillianscott975
    @jillianscott975 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I really admired your patients. She's going to make you proud. God bless.

  • @kazbarthemagnificent2052
    @kazbarthemagnificent2052 8 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    bless that little girls heart what a horrendous confusing ordeal for her to deal with
    its so sad they have to leave the only home she has ever known to get a better life hopfully she is doing fantastic

    • @debradupra6554
      @debradupra6554 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s to bad they don’t teach the older children some English.It would make it less stressful for these children.

  • @easytoslip
    @easytoslip 10 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    must be hard for the older children, who are so used to seeing black-haired, asian-eyed adults, to warm to much different looking adults

  • @yhwhtlc9217
    @yhwhtlc9217 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I cannot imagine the fear these children go through assimilating into an unkown family....love prevails

  • @rosannacellini2158
    @rosannacellini2158 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I'm always happy for a child being adopted by a loving family. Obviously the transition is traumatic for the little girl, but she is a little toughie and will adjust. God bless them .

  • @pierrelalonde3705
    @pierrelalonde3705 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    So nice to hear that she is doing well and she is happy and loved, how about a 2020 update, that would be cool.

    • @ΜάγιαΠαπ
      @ΜάγιαΠαπ 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ίίίίίίίιιίιιιίίιίίίίίίίίίιιιίιίιιιιιίιίιίιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιίιιιιίιίιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιοιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιιι

  • @elizabeth1invermont
    @elizabeth1invermont 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    You are such a patient, loving mother. 😊💕

    • @ARealLiveMom
      @ARealLiveMom  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      thank you so much. Holly is such a blessing to our family, and while it was difficult to see her go through so much trauma, she is also very brave and tried her best to figure out her new life. We adore her.

  • @adamzindani2019
    @adamzindani2019 11 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I watched the whole video I enjoyed every minute god bless the little girl and her new family

    • @elsamendescampelo6055
      @elsamendescampelo6055 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Das so schrecklich man hört Schreind Kinder ,die Kinder sind viel zu gross ,ich finde das Tool das man Kinder adoptiert aber bitte Babys,

  • @louisenaleski6391
    @louisenaleski6391 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I think it is wonderful that she had one person she could bond with. Those people who are being judgemental, have been fortunate not to have to walk in her shoes. I am speaking from experience. It is very hard to adjust to total strangers that have been brought into your life. I praise both parents for having the patience and giving her the chance to adjust. I wish the entire family the best.

    • @ARealLiveMom
      @ARealLiveMom  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you, yes, it was so difficult for her, and she did have a road ahead of her, but, she made it through, and we are a happy ending for sure.

  • @alisjordan9206
    @alisjordan9206 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Thnx for showing the raw hard moments. ❤❤ beautiful, the patience.

  • @donnadee1966
    @donnadee1966 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I loved your video! It was really refreshing to see the good, the bad and all that comes in between. What a firecracker she is - it's adorable and I can't imagine what anyone found to criticize you about! You have a beautiful family.

  • @eugeniasyro7315
    @eugeniasyro7315 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    She is adorable! Took to Daddy right away. Nice exchanges between them.

  • @ARealLiveMom
    @ARealLiveMom  11 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Updates and more on Holly can be found on our blog.

  • @noralynn6318
    @noralynn6318 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Your family is beautiful and full of patience ❤ I see the years have been a blessing

  • @hue008x
    @hue008x 10 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Love takes time. At this stage she must know that she is about to leave everything and everyone she knows to go to a strange place with only strange people .Even an adult would be apprehensive. Wish they could have a more gradual adjustment.

    • @junbh2
      @junbh2 8 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yes, imagine any five year old you know, if one day you introduced her to some total strangers and said to give them a hug and told her bye bye you're going off with them forever. It would be terrifying! Her reaction seems quite normal and healthy. It takes time to make friends with someone, and even longer to become family.

    • @gaelcrane8008
      @gaelcrane8008 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      hue008x very soon this little girl is going to be extremely happy she left the orphanage where children aren’t always treated kindly. She will be experiencing some wonderful things she couldn’t have imagined a few months ago and will miss nothing of her prior life. The Chinese are very strict with all children(do soon research) often bordering on abuse, I’m sure this little strong willed child cried herself to sleep many a night during her prior life. I’m ashamed of the number of people that criticized this nice couple. Does anyone think for a minute they could have done a better job?

    • @DetTigerFan
      @DetTigerFan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It would be nice if the orphanage or foster family could gradually explain & prepare the child for adoption day. From the time the family commits to the child & the time they actually go pick up the child, there is time to acclimate the child to the idea of what will happen.

  • @traceymartin4098
    @traceymartin4098 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    She seems to like the dad the most

  • @monucarubio
    @monucarubio 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great personality of your little girl... and you are a great family...being a mom...even with your own blood and flesh children is difficult...congratulations for your great hearth and purpose. I am going to watch Holly adapted to your family and country...

  • @shekeyra100
    @shekeyra100 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i wish we all could adopt and she is beautiful and can tell how much you love her already

  • @jenniferh.k.7123
    @jenniferh.k.7123 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I Love this Video. The parents behaved just right, gave her Space at first but also show her love and safety. It is hard to adopt an older child. You all did great ❤️

  • @mariearmstrong1258
    @mariearmstrong1258 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I'm very happy for these children but to them they are being yanked away from the only people they have ever known and taken away. My heart breaks for them.

  • @user-re7eu9hq6r
    @user-re7eu9hq6r 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Congratulations, she is beautiful and scared, a little time will heal those wounds!🙏🏼🌻👼🏻🦋❤️

  • @irenelim362
    @irenelim362 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    You done a great job in adopting the children in China and brought them well. Thanks God for sendig you to china adopt them. God bless you and your family.

    • @ocodeskamcdbsm
      @ocodeskamcdbsm 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @carin have you even looked into adoption in the US. If you think adopting abroad is hard try adopting in the US. They make it impossible

    • @ocodeskamcdbsm
      @ocodeskamcdbsm 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @carin I have friends in the US who are both wealthy and sadly unable to have their own kids. A paediatric doctor and a nurse practitioner. They have been willing to adopt any child of any age with any medical or intellectual issues and because of their age they weren't allowed to adopt in the US. Purely because by the time all the paperwork would have been processed, he would have been over the age by 2 months. So they had to go internationally and they now have a beautiful family. They have 4 kids. 2 sets of siblings and they have all got some issues but are absolutely thriving now. It's not just the US though to be fair, most countries make it beyond difficult for people to adopt at home. I know a guy in a wheelchair who had an accident after his second child but was just as active in raising his kids as a person who had full use of their legs but when his kids were in their teens they felt the time was right to adopt, something they had always wanted to do but his physical disability came against him. His wife lost it and I don't blame her. Her response was if he wasn't fit to be a father and raise kids why weren't social services concerned about his biological kids- thankfully they adopted in Korea and at Christmas picked up their 3rd adopted child. The system for adopting at home is ridiculous and the heartache is brutal believe me.
      On a separate issue and this is not me knocking any religion but the majority of adoption videos available that the parents are from the US seem to be of the Mormon faith. So much so that I put in searches of people from other Faith's and adoption and very little is available. Is there a reason for this? I know in a lot of countries you cannot take videos of receiving the child or you can't post photos or videos of the child for I think 6months.

  • @lulusmartypants9799
    @lulusmartypants9799 8 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    She was saying :"no, I don't want it." "I'm not giving you this." I drew this." "These are Junjun's stuff, don't touch it." Then she was pointing at the camera saying :"that's Junjun." And she kept saying " so annoying." I personally think the "so annoying" is some kind of filler language she learnt from adults, it just expresses general frustration.

    • @SusieC17
      @SusieC17 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Although I am Chinese , I can’t understand what she said.

    • @mahadevanvelayudhan9100
      @mahadevanvelayudhan9100 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lulu Smartypants in

    • @yueyuyuan630
      @yueyuyuan630 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      But she is speaking dialects. even as a Chinese I can't understand either

    • @roysgirl11
      @roysgirl11 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She's saying the rich stupid white ppl are here to take me away & turn me into one of them....So annoying... Also seems she was desperately wanting those items because she has nothing of her own when living in an orphanage.

    • @usharupbrahma6161
      @usharupbrahma6161 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh common...she's just a kid for god's sake..wdy mean greedy and selfish...this one guy is mean and narrow

  • @tanaeflanagan6910
    @tanaeflanagan6910 11 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Aww poor darling, wow its hard at that age to really come to terms that when ur in a place like that with heaps of people its hard to say good bye.

  • @megrandmomjean5019
    @megrandmomjean5019 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    ArealLiveMom -- I knew it was the color of your hair that probably frightened her the most. I am so happy that everything has worked out so well for your entire family. Congratulations.

    • @usharupbrahma6161
      @usharupbrahma6161 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hehe yeah..maybe they should have dyed with black lol

    • @Alice12578
      @Alice12578 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Possible. Blonde is very close to white. My grandfather visited me once in a blue moon and I was afraid of his white hair. There was also a white hair female demon in Chinese legend.

    • @angiewelch6183
      @angiewelch6183 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Why don't the foster parents do more to transition an older child such as this? Perhaps, this was done more than I realize, but Holly really seemed unsure and unprepared for what awaited her. It would be an extremely difficult situation for any child that age. I thought the parents did great. Obviously, after seeing their blog, Holly is doing fabulous and thriving 100%. Great job Momma and Daddy.

  • @justinsunam-wong8787
    @justinsunam-wong8787 7 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    She wasn't being bratty. She was scared.

    • @spino-tinodon1146
      @spino-tinodon1146 7 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Whoever it was that thought or said that she was being bratty should grow up. Adopted children can have mixed feelings when they meet their new parents. Some might get very happy about it while other can get scared.

    • @TimeWarp-pj4kz
      @TimeWarp-pj4kz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      She was absolutely being a brat if you read the translation in the comments. Not nearly as scared as pissed. Very bratty but I can't blame her

    • @fares755
      @fares755 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Justin Sunam-Wong
      She was so scared and confused, holding on to all her belongings, not trusting the new situation!

    • @MauiHI1994
      @MauiHI1994 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@TimeWarp-pj4kz another warped comment from you. Do you always need to be so damn negative. NEVER post any positive comments!

    • @Taylor-eq3nz
      @Taylor-eq3nz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@spino-tinodon1146 I would disagree with the part she's frightened for most parts anyway..She's defenatly a child that demands...look how quickly she settled in th hotel room as soon as the foster parents are out of sight..I think the foster parents spoiled her and boy did it show...lol.

  • @teresaa40
    @teresaa40 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    UPDATE: Just to update everyone that has viewed this video or followed our blog, Holly is still doing very well. She is a happy healthy 14 year old with dreams and goals and a growing interest in finding her birth family. We support that she wants to find them and at least know why she was abandoned. The answers may be hard, and we have prepared her that she may not find them or that they may not want to be found, but, we are doing everything available to us to try to find them. For those who wonder why we didn't speak Chinese, we actually learned some basics and brought tools to use to communicate with her, which helped a little, but, her dialect was so different from even our translators ability to understand that it was easier to use pictures, and drawings, and a bit of playful sign language than to try to figure out her way of speaking Chinese. We did try to keep her language alive in her, but, she rejected it entirely just a few months after being in the US, which we have learned is normal for international adoptees. Their brain shuts down that part of their language in an effort to immerse themselves in the language of the country they now live in. We tried everything to keep even some basic Chinese in her vocabulary but, as you can see, Holly is very strong willed and resisted to the point of refusing to talk to us if we used Chinese. Now that she is older she is showing some interest in learning Chinese, but, she prefers Japanese, and we are not going to make that decision for her, not that we could, Holly knows her own mind. We will give her all the tools and classes she wants in whatever language she chooses. I will try to get another blog post on the site this month. Thank you for all who support our Holly's journey and who understand how difficult this was for her. We hope that when, at some point, she reads the comments on her adoption video, she will know that many people in the world have a heart for what she has been through and wish her every happiness.

    • @longmarch2668
      @longmarch2668 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Japanese uses Chinese characters. If she learns Japanese it would make learn Chinese easier later on. Too bad she wasn't taught Mandarin when she was little.
      In Chinese culture, adoptive parents are considered much more important than biological ones, and naturally so. If she wants to know more about her past, that's also normal and understandable.

  • @2seels477
    @2seels477 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Now these are people who understand the trauma and fear. Xxx

  • @00wxL
    @00wxL 11 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I admire how patient are these parents , I hope someday I can be like they ; ) !

    • @chelimartinez9999
      @chelimartinez9999 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Of course they had to be patient! They’re adopting a child from totally different culture plus it’s hard for the child to just go with someone that’s different. Hope alls well!!🙏🙏

  • @alisjordan9206
    @alisjordan9206 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Shes gonna be a, daddy's girl it seems. Pray it's better for you all. Y'all have great patience and i love that u showed the ups and downs of this beautiful process. Blessings to u and ur family. ❤❤😍😍❤❤👐

  • @pjpurinton7023
    @pjpurinton7023 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    A tough situation. I hope it got better for everyone.

  • @gwynnethgracejoannes9546
    @gwynnethgracejoannes9546 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Woow she is cute.. thanks for loving her

  • @tessaadie659
    @tessaadie659 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I am an adotive parent too. Our daughter was fostered by us in UK for nearly 5 years before the adoption when she was 6. I have a concern about how the introduction happened as I think they should have had a few visits, at school, at home before she went to her new parents. Also I think that during the wait for approval for adoption the new parents should have to learn some basic Chinese. Imagine how scary it must be to see these people for the 1st time, you are scared and cannot speak to them

    • @ARealLiveMom
      @ARealLiveMom  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I've actually answered this before, but, for the sake of newer viewers, we have no control over how the transition is handled, it is entirely controlled by the Chinese officials. We did spend time learning some Chinese, but, her dialect was a challenge even for our interpertor.

  • @nanyanguo1
    @nanyanguo1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    future adopters to note. The experience of this case shows if you have blonde , orange or any other colour hairs that is not black or dark brown, it will scare a chinese child. If you wear your hair long n wild , it will look even more scarier to the poor child ..
    So pl do tie up your hair up into a bun or cut it real short before you go pick her up .

  • @geraldinefeind9676
    @geraldinefeind9676 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Awwwww
    She was a little scared!!! There was so many people in the room!!!!
    I know momma and papa will take care of her. She’s precious. She’s going to fit right in with her new family!!! GOD CHOSE YOU BOTH, TO BE HER PARENTS, BEFORE SHE WAS BORN!! I’m sending prayers your way! Thank you for sharing this video with us!!! What a Beauty!!!
    GODS BLESSINGS ALWAYS.
    ❤️💋🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @JLaurieRobinson
    @JLaurieRobinson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Oh! That’s was last Saturday that I stumbled over this video, and happen to be searching through some channels and recognize your faces and I was so happy that I found Holly...

  • @joanberry2143
    @joanberry2143 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    May you all live happily ever after!

  • @angeloddrev
    @angeloddrev 11 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    awe that's so heart breaking, poor little girl :( what a shame she's older before being adopted. Bless her.

  • @cindytomlinson5167
    @cindytomlinson5167 7 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    She sure is a strong willed kid

    • @leanneadams594
      @leanneadams594 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Cindy Tomlinson she’s an undisciplined brat!!!!!

    • @leanneadams2549
      @leanneadams2549 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Leanne Adams yes! This video is the WORST adoption video have EVER seen! She will be embarrassed later to see this! This kid is such a rude brat

  • @mercyvideira3061
    @mercyvideira3061 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Que paciencia de la Sra , la nena tiene un carácter Mama. Mia

  • @charlesjohnson6608
    @charlesjohnson6608 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    It’s the blonde hair.

  • @junewhite6376
    @junewhite6376 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Must have been so difficult with language situation. A bright child that would adapt beautifully. A lovely story which continues to grow. X U.K. x

  • @snowy_cookiem6014
    @snowy_cookiem6014 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    God bless You Guy's, look how quickly She came around.

    • @anaSilva-ok5oq
      @anaSilva-ok5oq 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Que tristesa ..le costo separarse de su conocido entorno.mas tarde la recompenza.🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @annetteperry392
    @annetteperry392 7 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    If you are going to adopt a child from another country learn that country's language. It would probably be more comforting for the child to understand who is talking to her and then adopting her.

    • @ms.rlsteele351
      @ms.rlsteele351 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Annette Perry-- as a former international social worker, I STRONGLY agree. Adoptive workers generally have 1-2 years to prepare. Learning the language is extremely important for adopting an older child.

    • @traciesearle4897
      @traciesearle4897 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Annette Perry I agree

    • @serpente300
      @serpente300 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Absolutely! I was precisely thinking the same.
      People wait so much to be granted a child so, why not learning the child language while you're waiting? It would be quite an incentive and would help with the ansiety too!

    • @barbarawhitley5094
      @barbarawhitley5094 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Read all the posts they did but she only wanted them to speak English to her

    • @gaelcrane8008
      @gaelcrane8008 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Becky L and the child had all that time to learn a little English also.

  • @TimeWarp-pj4kz
    @TimeWarp-pj4kz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    It's hard to believe that most of us know these children are usually put off by blonde hair. This mom could've toned it down a tad for the child's comfort

  • @charlottedavis6425
    @charlottedavis6425 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I think they should have met her in a nice quiet place and let her become familiar with them. This is traumatising for her!!

    • @ARealLiveMom
      @ARealLiveMom  4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree with you 100 percent. It would be nice to have that event be private, and quiet, and a more gentle transition, but, this is how it is done in China and we have no say. We knew what was going to happen, and we did what we could to prepare her and prepare ourselves. I look back on that day and feel so bad for her.

    • @charlottedavis6425
      @charlottedavis6425 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I would love to know how she is doing now.

  • @saskiavr5822
    @saskiavr5822 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I dont say she s spoiled but the behaviour is not attractive. This is a good video because it shows when you adopt a child you will face many challenges. Sometimes when you see an adoptive child its cute and adorable immediately. This child is acting not so nice. A big challenge for her parents to be. And its not to be unkind towards the child because she probably will learn to behave better in future

    • @ARealLiveMom
      @ARealLiveMom  4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are very accurate. I never want anyone to think adopting a child at any age, but, particularly an older child, is easy. Holly adjusted gradually, and is now happy and well adjusted.

    • @saskiavr5822
      @saskiavr5822 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ARealLiveMom wow great to hear! Im happy she s adjusted well and a happy girl.

  • @xinranshi8621
    @xinranshi8621 9 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I am born and raised from the same city where Holly was adopted!!!

    • @leanneadams594
      @leanneadams594 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Xinran Shi does every child act how embarrassing as her?

    • @annalynncabinbabiesnursery9984
      @annalynncabinbabiesnursery9984 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@leanneadams594 you are being a very critical person, at the time she was a very little girl, my goodness

    • @shamseshamousa
      @shamseshamousa 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Holy is transgender

    • @shamseshamousa
      @shamseshamousa 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You sell your sick and problematic babies to USA

  • @ahasan239
    @ahasan239 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    New dady is really good person ❤❤❤🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪

  • @tracymcneely8173
    @tracymcneely8173 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Shes adorable very beautiful little girl poor baby god bless thos couple for taking her but its got to be harder for the older ones its all so sad as happy and her being sick with that cough cant help any god bless her she is one of a kind.

  • @loriadams1588
    @loriadams1588 9 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I feel so bad for this little girl. She doesn't understand that she is getting a forever family.

    • @loriadams1588
      @loriadams1588 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It has not occurred to me until now, that she probably had never seen a woman with blonde hair before. She seems tough and unafraid, until you see her face up close. I am sure those were tough, those first days, months, years. But I am so glad she was placed with her loving family.

    • @Taylor-eq3nz
      @Taylor-eq3nz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@loriadams1588 They sent her photos..She was playing everyone here..for a child from an orphanage she acting selfish and very naughty! that's unusual for a orphan child.
      I honestly don't want to sound mean about a child but I haven't seen a child from the orphanage act like this she really is playing up in a naughty way and I bet she tested them..I watched the other videos and she's really wild and cheeky...lol

    • @anisapuspar8615
      @anisapuspar8615 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I do agree with you, I'm so sad. Eventhough her new parents so loving her but.. yah, seeing this process of adoption makes me cry.

    • @cocovercoe784
      @cocovercoe784 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Taylor-eq3nz you are mean.

  • @jennyjannetjorqueragonzale3015
    @jennyjannetjorqueragonzale3015 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Te deseo lo mejor del mundo que esta vida que te vio nacer logre que estos Padres Te Hagan Felices desde Chile 🥰🙋‍♀️🇨🇱🇨🇱🇨🇱🇨🇱

  • @billiembadjie9668
    @billiembadjie9668 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    It’s wrong the way these adoptions are made, surely there would be a better way of the children being integrated into a new family life, both for the child and the new parents sake. More adjustment time for the child allowing them to see the parents more often prior to the actual Gotcha Day. I felt really sorry for the new mother, the five year old rejected her instantly. Be it a child, infant or baby, being handed over in such a way on that first meeting, must be terrifying for the child.

    • @judithryle2113
      @judithryle2113 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I felt sorry for the mother too.

  • @donquixote1502
    @donquixote1502 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Of course, she is scared.

  • @lauriedavidson108
    @lauriedavidson108 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    THIS is one of the reasons people want to adopt younger children.

  • @donquixote1502
    @donquixote1502 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Of course, I will love her. I take her into my life right now. No askings are given and no answers wanted.

  • @kardtayl
    @kardtayl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love this girl so much. Lol She is amazing.❤

  • @marilynluckhurst5207
    @marilynluckhurst5207 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    It's funny how some of these children take to the men and it always seems that blondes scare them they used to only see dark hair

  • @TheSharron47
    @TheSharron47 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    P.S. Quite frankly I believe you should have learned enough of her language to comfort and console her through this nightmare. I am 72 yrs old and it will be traumatic for me!!!!

    • @barbarawhitley5094
      @barbarawhitley5094 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      SHARRON CRANDELL they did but she wanted to only speak English with them

    • @barbarawhitley5094
      @barbarawhitley5094 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      SHARRON CRANDELL they did she didn’t want them to speak her language only English

  • @vicfern
    @vicfern 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was recommended to me, SO sweet!!!

  • @karentoole4925
    @karentoole4925 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    What a lovely little girl
    Your so lucky to be able to have her.Wish I could
    have a cute little one to care nurture and love.
    Bless you all and hope she's happy now as must be a young lady now.
    God Bless

  • @irenemarlor4583
    @irenemarlor4583 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    The little girl was scared & confused . Time can heal. All the best 👍💗 South Australia

  • @Diamondbeach
    @Diamondbeach 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I love watching these type of videos because I want to adopt one day. But it breaks my heart when the child cries and endured some much lost fr their foster moms.

    • @hootimi2051
      @hootimi2051 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Adoption needs patient,especially different culture country ,if you are the adopted child ,you are also feel scared😔

  • @李白-f5u
    @李白-f5u 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow I never see a man so handsome like you!

  • @user-vg1fl4sy9c
    @user-vg1fl4sy9c 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Wonderful video friend 💖✌️Lots of love.

  • @dedeeaminah7896
    @dedeeaminah7896 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Honestly, she's beautiful

  • @carolberwindscheffler2708
    @carolberwindscheffler2708 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think it's written in our genetic makeup but I learned that we all prefer those most like us. Gives a feeling of comfort. Perhaps long ago it was for our tribes survival. ???