I feel like that is a degrading thing to say to black women, especially in the presence of men because she's giving them the go-ahead to invalidate the natural appearance of the women around them. Now they'll expect the women to "compensate" for having natural hair, yet the men are not required to do anything. It's alright to be very natural and should be normalized. The burden of beauty standards is unnecessary.
Thank you so much for this content ! I have been looking for someone to talk about these limiting beliefs for so long! I don't know if it is something you have noticed also, but I feel like often, hairstyles made with our hair are perceived as either unkept, childish or not "feminine" enough. I read in a book about being black in France, that if you choose to wear cornrows, you should at least wear earrings to avoid looking "boyish". 😢 Keep doing this work! We need it! :) Support from France:)!
As a girly girl I only want to wear girly hairstyles. If the cornrows are not long like Sona Jobarteh, that’s too boyish for me. I refuse to be shamed into choosing someone’s standard of Blackness over my own standards of femininity. I can be both Black and undeniably Feminine! I really wish people would stop trying to change the minds of others and just do what’s best for them
@@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL You can continue to define your femininity by how long your hair is. That's ok. It doesn't change the fact that it's inherently eurocentric bc even long afro-textured hair does not naturally display most of its length. The hair literally wants to be short. If you would open your mind up to ideas other than what you've been conditioned to think, you'd be surprised how black-and-white your ideas on femininity are.
@@sitoe9858 So when did Europeans teach African women to stretch their hair for length? When did they teach the Mbalantu, the tribes of Chad, and the Wolof tribe? Nearly all the women’s hairstyles consist of stretching the hair and they are VERY long. The versatility of our African culture gives us freedom that persist beyond colonialism and slavery. If we would only allow ourselves to accept that freedom. Until then we will always treat our natural hair as another place of resistance when in reality there is nothing to resist at all. We are the MOTHERS. We can do it ALL. The proof is in our hair texture. But thanks for the laugh bringing up Europeans to a comment about wanting long African braids
As a black American woman, I always assumed black African women didn't feel this way about natural, afro-textured hair because they come from nations where they are the majority thus I assumed black beauty would be elevated as the standard in their countries. I see colonialism and yt supremacy really has touched every corner of the Earth it's sad.
I'm non-American, non-black, non-African (I feel like I need to specify that). Believe me it's not colonialism, it's not supremacy ... it's just beauty standards. Every woman ANYWHERE in the world struggles with beauty standards. You're too blonde? you need to wear mascara, you need to draw your eyebrows or your "ugly" natural blonde eyelashes and eyebrows will make you look like a ghost. You're too pale? you need to put on foundation a bit darker than you skin to look "alive". You're hair is too straight and thin? you need to put voluminous products, you need to curl it , tease it do whatever so it's not bleh. Your hair is too curly? you need to put frizz control and 100 other products to make it look presentable. You're too skinny? you need to tone your body, build some butt muscles to not look like a stick. You're too curvy? you need to lose weight, no pants ever fit you right. Ugh... believe me it never ends. It's not just black women ... every woman on earth experiences that. European women, Asian women, middle eastern women, Latina women, ... The only thing you can do is be the change you want to see in the world. Appreciate your own beauty, I know it's difficult and ppl will judge you and maybe black women get more judged in America, but believe me that is the only way to change it. If you want your natural hair to be normalized and appreciated then start with yourself. Wear your hair natural and embrace other women who wear their hair naturally. Your eyebrows and eyelashes are "too blonde"? so what? embrace that. You're too skinny? so be it, appreciate that.... etc.
I'm the same as you. I married a West African and was shocked to be one of the only naturals in the community events and churches I went to. Other women were highly uncomfortable with my hair and expressed it.
@@yuzan3607you are a non black person. So anything you say after that is irrelevant. Like what was the point of you telling a BLACK PERSON “actually it’s not supremacy or colonization it’s beauty standards 🤓☝🏻
I’ve been saying this to myself for years! Every time I search natural hairstyles (the ones with a texture and density like mine) I always wonder why it never looks exactly like the hairstyle until I looked a bit closer. The woman is wearing makeup. NO WONDER! Almost every woman with a twa or long kinky hair grwm video has makeup on at that the end of the video. I don’t know if it’s for aesthetics or if they are actually going somewhere, but it just implies that you need to put on makeup for your natural hair to look good.
Omg yesss I’ve noticed that too. They always have on makeup at the end of the video. It takes attention away from the natural hair and more on the aesthetics
In all fairness, I went through a period of watching videos with white people dyeing their hair (purely for entertainment) and it's just a thing people do to see how the hair would look the way that they intend to be seen.
A chronic skin illness caused me to remove all hair products from my regime, even conditioner. My hair is shiny and healthy, picked out into a fro because it's easier to keep detangled, and I rinse every couple of days with water. I had no idea my hair could be this healthy with doing so little to it.
I agree with her because for some reason Black women are discouraged from embracing traditional feminine appearance as if it somehow contradicts with our Blackness. Also I’m a girly girl with very youthful features so if I’m going to wear a UNISEX hairstyle, then hell yes I will play up my femininity
@@goingketo7584 Girl thinks she has to "play up" her femininity with her kinky hair bc she has embraced European hair and hairstyles as more "feminine" than black hair and traditional Afrocentric hairstyles. Some of us are still in the sunken place and that's ok we can't save evryone
@@sitoe9858 I personally don’t know any white people who can wear an Afro with two braids in the front but that is one of my go-to hairstyles and it is VERY feminine in my opinion😍 I also can’t say that white people invented makeup, but I do know of many beauty practices in my Haitian culture and other African cultures that are very ornate. That being said I don’t like unisex hairstyles regardless of the texture. No un styled Afros and no pixie cuts for me. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Especially not without any beautification at all like a hair clip
where are your parents from? I can see your name so I'm assuming maybe your parents are African. from the lady's accent I'm assuming she's Nigerian. I'm nigerian american. I cannot speak for all African countries but I do know that Nigeria has a lot of issues when it comes to featurism. they already have a crazy large issue with skin bleaching. I know me and other Nigerian Americans had their parents sometime suggest they used nigerian skin bleaching cream which I never used. and when I went natural when I was in college my mom was incredibly furious. she did later come to accept my natural hair but she refused to go natural herself despite the fact that she was damaging her scalp with relaxers and had bald spots and covered it up with wigs. I don't support that kind of culture and I think it's incredibly sad especially since it's literally a black nation. but things are changing. Back in the day natural hair would have been unheard of. they now have natural hair salons and there are naturals there now hence this video. back in the day there were not really any naturals unless they were mixed and had loose curly hair. One time I even asked my mom if the girls with loose curly hair had to shave their hair off too and she said no. because it was/is mandatory for girls and boys to shave all their hair off for school. which I never understood. I also feel like that's probably a postcolonial thing but that's just a guess. I do find this video disgusting (not yours - the one you're responding too) but I've seen quite a few videos from Nigerian-Nigerian content creators condemning this kind of mindset which is nice to see. I really hope it gets better in the near future.
Clearly you've not lived in Nigeria enough to know Nigerian accent. I'm Nigerian and any Nigerian who was born in Nigeria knows immediately that that woman is not a Nigerian. So clearly you know too little to write such a long essay.
@@Grace-to6hn Bush woman pls keep quiet. She said she is Nigerian AMERICAN. There are many Nigerians who don't have Nigerian accents. Some grow up in the US or UK or other places. Her opinion is valid
How many natural hairstyles are predominately considered feminine and not unisex? I can name a few: Pineapple, low ponytail, space buns, Afro puffs. How many can you name that are not unisex?
In my opinion, African descent people who have fuzz-nut hair look so much better with their natural hair. Honestly straight hair looks quite trashy on the average black American woman and does nothing for your features. Honestly when youse experiment with your natural hair and its shapes it not only highlights your best features but it also makes you look younger. I was watching this American politician one in a senate hearing and her straight hair looked so cheap with fly always but if she did something with her natural hair she would look so beautiful and youthful. Also I reckon in the future when more love for your own hair keeps increasing traditional African Hairstyles will become more prevalent in the western beauty world like the hairstyle of the Igbo people who has one of the most unique and beautiful hairstyles I’ve ever seen, absolutely stunning and they honestly look like royalty when they have their hair like that. Also and I have to say it, if I had an arse like that first woman I reckon where ever I sit would be comfortable. My little sister got a big arse too and I’m jealous, it’s just looks so comfortable and cushiony.
she's basically saying that to make a good impression on ppl (don't remember if she specified for the workplace) you can't wear your natural hair, you have to relax it or straighten it or wtv "so your face can pop"
You’re working 9 to 5 to dodge the point of the video babes. Did you watch at 5x speed loool! She wasn’t asking for people to be cleaned and groomed, she was saying that if you wear out your natural kinky hair you need to do more to look beautiful than if you wore braids, wigs or if your hair is relaxed. If we are the only women have to keep putting fake hair on our heads to “look our best” then God help us
Yes she is 100% correct because y’all are doing wash and gos. No woman of any race walks out without styling their hair. And when they do they are definitely called out in the workplace. Showing up with wet hair is a no no I’m tired of everyone politicizing natural hair while also promoting unhealthy hair care practices. Our ancestors put time and effort into their NATURAL hair, they did not do wash and gos. If you’re gonna walk out looking like Felicia from Friday yes baby you need some extra help. That being said please get your twist outs, flexirod sets, silk presses, and mini braids on deck because a wash and go just is NOT IT.
I can see how passionate you are and I love it!
I wear my natural hair and with no makeup what so ever. Black is beautiful and so is black hair.
I feel like that is a degrading thing to say to black women, especially in the presence of men because she's giving them the go-ahead to invalidate the natural appearance of the women around them. Now they'll expect the women to "compensate" for having natural hair, yet the men are not required to do anything. It's alright to be very natural and should be normalized. The burden of beauty standards is unnecessary.
Agreed!
Thank you so much for this content ! I have been looking for someone to talk about these limiting beliefs for so long!
I don't know if it is something you have noticed also, but I feel like often, hairstyles made with our hair are perceived as either unkept, childish or not "feminine" enough.
I read in a book about being black in France, that if you choose to wear cornrows, you should at least wear earrings to avoid looking "boyish". 😢
Keep doing this work! We need it! :)
Support from France:)!
As a girly girl I only want to wear girly hairstyles. If the cornrows are not long like Sona Jobarteh, that’s too boyish for me. I refuse to be shamed into choosing someone’s standard of Blackness over my own standards of femininity. I can be both Black and undeniably Feminine!
I really wish people would stop trying to change the minds of others and just do what’s best for them
@@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL You can continue to define your femininity by how long your hair is. That's ok. It doesn't change the fact that it's inherently eurocentric bc even long afro-textured hair does not naturally display most of its length. The hair literally wants to be short. If you would open your mind up to ideas other than what you've been conditioned to think, you'd be surprised how black-and-white your ideas on femininity are.
@@sitoe9858 So when did Europeans teach African women to stretch their hair for length? When did they teach the Mbalantu, the tribes of Chad, and the Wolof tribe?
Nearly all the women’s hairstyles consist of stretching the hair and they are VERY long.
The versatility of our African culture gives us freedom that persist beyond colonialism and slavery. If we would only allow ourselves to accept that freedom. Until then we will always treat our natural hair as another place of resistance when in reality there is nothing to resist at all. We are the MOTHERS. We can do it ALL. The proof is in our hair texture.
But thanks for the laugh bringing up Europeans to a comment about wanting long African braids
@@sitoe9858 « The hair wants to be short »😂. Hair is Dead matter , dead keratin, like nails
As a black American woman, I always assumed black African women didn't feel this way about natural, afro-textured hair because they come from nations where they are the majority thus I assumed black beauty would be elevated as the standard in their countries. I see colonialism and yt supremacy really has touched every corner of the Earth it's sad.
I'm non-American, non-black, non-African (I feel like I need to specify that). Believe me it's not colonialism, it's not supremacy ... it's just beauty standards. Every woman ANYWHERE in the world struggles with beauty standards. You're too blonde? you need to wear mascara, you need to draw your eyebrows or your "ugly" natural blonde eyelashes and eyebrows will make you look like a ghost. You're too pale? you need to put on foundation a bit darker than you skin to look "alive". You're hair is too straight and thin? you need to put voluminous products, you need to curl it , tease it do whatever so it's not bleh. Your hair is too curly? you need to put frizz control and 100 other products to make it look presentable. You're too skinny? you need to tone your body, build some butt muscles to not look like a stick. You're too curvy? you need to lose weight, no pants ever fit you right. Ugh... believe me it never ends. It's not just black women ... every woman on earth experiences that. European women, Asian women, middle eastern women, Latina women, ... The only thing you can do is be the change you want to see in the world. Appreciate your own beauty, I know it's difficult and ppl will judge you and maybe black women get more judged in America, but believe me that is the only way to change it. If you want your natural hair to be normalized and appreciated then start with yourself. Wear your hair natural and embrace other women who wear their hair naturally. Your eyebrows and eyelashes are "too blonde"? so what? embrace that. You're too skinny? so be it, appreciate that.... etc.
I'm the same as you. I married a West African and was shocked to be one of the only naturals in the community events and churches I went to. Other women were highly uncomfortable with my hair and expressed it.
@@yuzan3607i love how you disregard others experience saying everyone passed thought the same. Would you tell that to a victim of physical abuse?.
@@Casilocapuntocom What do you mean? How am I the one disregarding others experiences? I literally acknowledged EVERYONE's experiences.
@@yuzan3607you are a non black person. So anything you say after that is irrelevant. Like what was the point of you telling a BLACK PERSON “actually it’s not supremacy or colonization it’s beauty standards 🤓☝🏻
It be our own people 🤦🏾♀️
I’ve been saying this to myself for years! Every time I search natural hairstyles (the ones with a texture and density like mine) I always wonder why it never looks exactly like the hairstyle until I looked a bit closer. The woman is wearing makeup. NO WONDER! Almost every woman with a twa or long kinky hair grwm video has makeup on at that the end of the video. I don’t know if it’s for aesthetics or if they are actually going somewhere, but it just implies that you need to put on makeup for your natural hair to look good.
Omg yesss I’ve noticed that too. They always have on makeup at the end of the video. It takes attention away from the natural hair and more on the aesthetics
In all fairness, I went through a period of watching videos with white people dyeing their hair (purely for entertainment) and it's just a thing people do to see how the hair would look the way that they intend to be seen.
A chronic skin illness caused me to remove all hair products from my regime, even conditioner. My hair is shiny and healthy, picked out into a fro because it's easier to keep detangled, and I rinse every couple of days with water. I had no idea my hair could be this healthy with doing so little to it.
Not related to the video butt u’re literally soooo cuteee oooommmgggggg!!
And hoop earrings
To make your ears pop 😂
You should also do a video on colorism and hair in the black community.
I agree with her because for some reason Black women are discouraged from embracing traditional feminine appearance as if it somehow contradicts with our Blackness.
Also I’m a girly girl with very youthful features so if I’m going to wear a UNISEX hairstyle, then hell yes I will play up my femininity
What is a traditional feminine appearance?
@@goingketo7584 there’s a huge range and it’s pretty self explanatory
@@goingketo7584 Girl thinks she has to "play up" her femininity with her kinky hair bc she has embraced European hair and hairstyles as more "feminine" than black hair and traditional Afrocentric hairstyles. Some of us are still in the sunken place and that's ok we can't save evryone
@@sitoe9858 I personally don’t know any white people who can wear an Afro with two braids in the front but that is one of my go-to hairstyles and it is VERY feminine in my opinion😍
I also can’t say that white people invented makeup, but I do know of many beauty practices in my Haitian culture and other African cultures that are very ornate. That being said I don’t like unisex hairstyles regardless of the texture.
No un styled Afros and no pixie cuts for me. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Especially not without any beautification at all like a hair clip
@@afrofelines straight hairstyles can definitely be unisex, and I don’t like those either. And yes an UNSTLYED Afro is unisex, so are pixie cuts
Preach, girl!!
❤ my sentiments exactly.
where are your parents from? I can see your name so I'm assuming maybe your parents are African. from the lady's accent I'm assuming she's Nigerian. I'm nigerian american. I cannot speak for all African countries but I do know that Nigeria has a lot of issues when it comes to featurism. they already have a crazy large issue with skin bleaching. I know me and other Nigerian Americans had their parents sometime suggest they used nigerian skin bleaching cream which I never used. and when I went natural when I was in college my mom was incredibly furious. she did later come to accept my natural hair but she refused to go natural herself despite the fact that she was damaging her scalp with relaxers and had bald spots and covered it up with wigs. I don't support that kind of culture and I think it's incredibly sad especially since it's literally a black nation. but things are changing. Back in the day natural hair would have been unheard of. they now have natural hair salons and there are naturals there now hence this video. back in the day there were not really any naturals unless they were mixed and had loose curly hair. One time I even asked my mom if the girls with loose curly hair had to shave their hair off too and she said no. because it was/is mandatory for girls and boys to shave all their hair off for school. which I never understood. I also feel like that's probably a postcolonial thing but that's just a guess. I do find this video disgusting (not yours - the one you're responding too) but I've seen quite a few videos from Nigerian-Nigerian content creators condemning this kind of mindset which is nice to see. I really hope it gets better in the near future.
That lady in the reference video is from Uganda
She’s not Nigerian. I am Nigerian btw.
Clearly you've not lived in Nigeria enough to know Nigerian accent. I'm Nigerian and any Nigerian who was born in Nigeria knows immediately that that woman is not a Nigerian.
So clearly you know too little to write such a long essay.
@@Grace-to6hn Bush woman pls keep quiet. She said she is Nigerian AMERICAN. There are many Nigerians who don't have Nigerian accents. Some grow up in the US or UK or other places. Her opinion is valid
@sitoe9858 LMAO NOT YOU CALLING HER A BUSH WOMAN!
💯 well said!
You should drop a hair routine
She doesn’t have one clearly she said just let it grow and leave it alone 🫢
How many natural hairstyles are predominately considered feminine and not unisex? I can name a few: Pineapple, low ponytail, space buns, Afro puffs. How many can you name that are not unisex?
Who cares? I mean really, who cares? Your femininity or masculinity is not defined by your haircut.
@@revdrmayog kinda like how Blackness is not defined by a hair texture
Love this .. needed to hear it 💞
thank you!
It is in job interviews though unfortunately
Let’s be honest even KIM K cannot keep a man with all the work why are we still listening to these people? 😂😂
🙌🏿🙌🏿kween
In my opinion, African descent people who have fuzz-nut hair look so much better with their natural hair. Honestly straight hair looks quite trashy on the average black American woman and does nothing for your features. Honestly when youse experiment with your natural hair and its shapes it not only highlights your best features but it also makes you look younger. I was watching this American politician one in a senate hearing and her straight hair looked so cheap with fly always but if she did something with her natural hair she would look so beautiful and youthful.
Also I reckon in the future when more love for your own hair keeps increasing traditional African Hairstyles will become more prevalent in the western beauty world like the hairstyle of the Igbo people who has one of the most unique and beautiful hairstyles I’ve ever seen, absolutely stunning and they honestly look like royalty when they have their hair like that.
Also and I have to say it, if I had an arse like that first woman I reckon where ever I sit would be comfortable. My little sister got a big arse too and I’m jealous, it’s just looks so comfortable and cushiony.
This comment frustrates me as well.
I can’t even understand what she’s saying.😕
she's basically saying that to make a good impression on ppl (don't remember if she specified for the workplace) you can't wear your natural hair, you have to relax it or straighten it or wtv "so your face can pop"
Lmaoo! 😂 I hate make-up.
At least I'm not alone in this
Grooming is human. It’s ok and preferable to be groomed. Natural does not mean you don’t clean and beatify to look your best.
You’re working 9 to 5 to dodge the point of the video babes. Did you watch at 5x speed loool! She wasn’t asking for people to be cleaned and groomed, she was saying that if you wear out your natural kinky hair you need to do more to look beautiful than if you wore braids, wigs or if your hair is relaxed. If we are the only women have to keep putting fake hair on our heads to “look our best” then God help us
Yes she is 100% correct because y’all are doing wash and gos. No woman of any race walks out without styling their hair.
And when they do they are definitely called out in the workplace. Showing up with wet hair is a no no
I’m tired of everyone politicizing natural hair while also promoting unhealthy hair care practices.
Our ancestors put time and effort into their NATURAL hair, they did not do wash and gos.
If you’re gonna walk out looking like Felicia from Friday yes baby you need some extra help.
That being said please get your twist outs, flexirod sets, silk presses, and mini braids on deck because a wash and go just is NOT IT.
you are an opp to Black women omg i can’t believe this. plenty races of women just wash and go.
I've actually LIVED with white women, and yes they DO just wash and go out the door more often than not.
This whole comment is why she made this video. The WHOLE world can simply wash and go but we can’t??? Come on now…
@@HotgirlbffYes, she is an op. She is in multiple comments sections downplaying our experiences. I think she’s a white woman.
@@TexasGal. No one does a wash and go. No one walks out of the house with wet hair but BW brainwashed by the natural hair movement.
It’s
Not that serious just
Do it
Makeup u need it!
I hope you get help. You hate your face without makeup and your hair without a Brazilian’s hair on top of it so she has to as well?
But you wear make up and you look the way you do...Tragic.
@@garbargecanjan728came to say something but this comment gagged me 🤭
Treat people how you would want to be treated. No need to hate. 🙄
@@BLESS2803 ok fine thx for enlightenment