The Green Clarinet - That Mitchell and Webb Look

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.พ. 2008
  • A sketch by Mitchell and Webb about a green clarinet that maks you tell embarrising secrets but watch out for the red tuba. That Mitchell and Webb Look coming soon to BBC 2
    DISCLAIMER: ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO THE BBC. I DID NOT PRODUCE THIS VIDEO.
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ความคิดเห็น • 299

  • @Lionkingview
    @Lionkingview 3 ปีที่แล้ว +868

    I have a yellow acoustic guitar that makes me look like a douche when I play it at parties.

    • @caderidley2309
      @caderidley2309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      The colour has nothing to do with looking like a douche while playing an acoustic guitar at a party

    • @Itsyrm8
      @Itsyrm8 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Just keep practicing and keep the faith😁

    • @cleanbeans4280
      @cleanbeans4280 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@caderidley2309 /:thatsthejoke.jpg

    • @xXxJSCOTTxXx
      @xXxJSCOTTxXx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@cleanbeans4280 i can't see the picture can you re-upload it

    • @TheSchemer1
      @TheSchemer1 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@caderidley2309 he might be alluding to Simon Coopers'car

  • @brain_apostrophe_t
    @brain_apostrophe_t 3 ปีที่แล้ว +929

    You know the person who invented the gun lived like this for at least a while.

    • @innescoull7061
      @innescoull7061 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Can you blame them hahah

    • @tbotalpha8133
      @tbotalpha8133 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      "I have a grey gun, that when you point it at someone-"
      "What's a gun?"
      "-And pull the trigger, it makes them drop dead!"

    • @ethericboy
      @ethericboy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      No he did"nt

    • @penitent2401
      @penitent2401 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      the first guns were not that great vs bows and crossbows of the time. Single shot with manual loading of powder and metal ball as a bullet, both of very low quality and imprecisely made compared to modern day, takes long time to load, wildly inaccurate. even after some decades of improvements and refinements, it needs to be fired in volleys at point blank range to have chance of hitting anything. their main advantage was the soldiers can very easily be trained to use and maintain them.

    • @jeanpaulsinatra
      @jeanpaulsinatra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      "I think you'll be crowning me king now"
      "Such impertinence. Sir William, seize him"
      *shoots Sir William dead, despite the latter's full plate armour, and looks pretty fucking smug until he sees every other knight drawing their swords before he can reload*

  • @hippy282
    @hippy282 2 ปีที่แล้ว +410

    The Green Clarinet is obviously an artefact of Vectron from the First Age

    • @Kris.G
      @Kris.G 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      It's all in the ancient scrolls

    • @eliamor1782
      @eliamor1782 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      we must get sir digby chicken caesar to retrieve it for her majesty!

    • @hippy282
      @hippy282 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@eliamor1782 I love that sketch! They'd probably pawn it for booze money

    • @whatthetrend8323
      @whatthetrend8323 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@Kris.G By Vectron's ant ridden shoes you're right!

    • @Vesnicie
      @Vesnicie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      No, it's The Magic Flute and the outfit is based on the character Papageno.

  • @agt155
    @agt155 14 ปีที่แล้ว +543

    I have a purple organ, but that's another story.

  • @tsarfox3462
    @tsarfox3462 2 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    The Red Tuba part almost made me shit my pants in laughter.

    • @Pooknottin
      @Pooknottin ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That's because it's not magical. It just plays the brown note.

    • @BenjaminGoose
      @BenjaminGoose 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You mean the sound that makes you do a shiiiit?@@Pooknottin

    • @Pooknottin
      @Pooknottin 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@BenjaminGoose Yep. That's the brown note.

    • @hotelmario510
      @hotelmario510 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      It works!

  • @redguy7718
    @redguy7718 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I have an avocado bathroom that enrages renovation show hosts

  • @JackT13
    @JackT13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    I don’t know what’s funnier, the green clarinet sketch or David screaming ‘ARRRGGGHHH’ at Rob’s inability to type

    • @thatoneguychad420
      @thatoneguychad420 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      David's screaming because we've all felt that exact same way before.

  • @LilyGrace95
    @LilyGrace95 2 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    I love that you can hear the truth while the clarinet is played 😂

  • @mmckenzie9367
    @mmckenzie9367 3 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    My mother in law has a tortoise shell accordion that makes peoples ears bleed.

    • @telectronix1368
      @telectronix1368 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Tell her not to throw it so hard.

  • @tuckintospidey
    @tuckintospidey 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    The twist of the Red Tuba always has me crying, just the blunt statement "I have a Red Tuba that makes you shit yourself." 😂😂

  • @thomasbland5450
    @thomasbland5450 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    They sure get a lot of milage out of Robert shaking his head disapprovingly! Lol

  • @leonardobrien
    @leonardobrien 3 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    I have a blue piano, but it's a lot harder to haul around to restaurants, etc.

    • @Emiliapocalypse
      @Emiliapocalypse 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Should have got yourself a blue keytar instead 🎶

    • @JackDManheim
      @JackDManheim 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Emiliapocalypse Indeed. Everybody should have a blue keytar

    • @johncitizen306
      @johncitizen306 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You have a cringe pfp and no balls

  • @amazingmagmorter
    @amazingmagmorter 11 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    Quite possibly my favourite sketch of all time.

    • @Mr.Monta77
      @Mr.Monta77 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You confuse possibility with probability. Or the other way around.

    • @amazingmagmorter
      @amazingmagmorter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@Mr.Monta77 Twas 8 years ago

    • @SeppiMaulwurf
      @SeppiMaulwurf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@amazingmagmorter did you learn the difference in the meantime? 😂

    • @amazingmagmorter
      @amazingmagmorter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@SeppiMaulwurf Think my grammar back when I was 12 was fine

    • @rosschops9509
      @rosschops9509 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Listen to Mitchell and Webb sound cash register shop sketch!

  • @treasuremage7546
    @treasuremage7546 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Yeah, well I have a mahogany accordion that makes you feel pity for my subpar accordion playing

    • @drpaulquiz4326
      @drpaulquiz4326 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I have one of those, but in red.

  • @MrsLevinson175
    @MrsLevinson175 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I love when he’s shaking his head sadly in the background

  • @Thoughtland
    @Thoughtland 14 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    I have a magenta ukulele that makes you walk backwards and sing Bee Gee's songs.

  • @peter_pansexual6243
    @peter_pansexual6243 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    It's the love child of the Pied Piper and the Riddler.

  • @Badkarma333
    @Badkarma333 13 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Definitely hilarious but oddly sinister.

  • @DJAngiePangie
    @DJAngiePangie 15 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I have a black and silver clarinet that makes my cat run away.

    • @gelraldoldo5152
      @gelraldoldo5152 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      12 years, dam

    • @DJAngiePangie
      @DJAngiePangie ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@gelraldoldo5152 This is a very strange window into my past... Why did I write this? More than that, why did 24 people like it? 😂

    • @themostbritishpersonalive868
      @themostbritishpersonalive868 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@DJAngiePangie well presumably your cat is scared of clarinets

  • @GrandChiefSmackaho
    @GrandChiefSmackaho 14 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I have a purple Harmonica that makes people dry heave uncontrollably.

    • @wilmer89
      @wilmer89 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have a golden saxophone that makes you piss yourself

  • @colinm366
    @colinm366 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    This is just brilliant writing. Period.

  • @Highstar25
    @Highstar25 14 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    i have a taupe harp that makes you smell mildly of trout

  • @Snowie7826
    @Snowie7826 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The only thing that can stop a bad man with a green clarinet is a good man with a red tuba

  • @CyberBeep_kenshi
    @CyberBeep_kenshi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    'Delete, delete, delete, weeeeeeeeee i gone too fast '
    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @NickHoad
    @NickHoad 10 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    I have a turquoise french horn. It doesn't do much, but it sounds nice...

  • @TheSmart-CasualGamer
    @TheSmart-CasualGamer ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I have a Heliotrope Harpsichord. It presumably does something, but it takes so long to explain both of those terms to people, that I've never had the chance to use it.
    I was given it in 2008, I feel like I'm missing out on something...

    • @thatoneguychad420
      @thatoneguychad420 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If you play it right it makes women take their clothes off.

    • @TheSmart-CasualGamer
      @TheSmart-CasualGamer 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​If that's true then I don't want it anymore. I'll stick it on eBay.

  • @cosmicwire6356
    @cosmicwire6356 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I have a blue accordion that makes people feel like they’re being chased by something.

    • @burntgrahamcracker2866
      @burntgrahamcracker2866 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      So you’re the reason I’ve been so paranoid you bastard!

  • @CycolacFan
    @CycolacFan 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Disappointed not to see any suggestion of a pink oboe.

  • @Mandalore06
    @Mandalore06 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I would not have been beaten by the tuba. I would play my clarinet, to hell with the shit running down my legs. We would see who endured the longest.

  • @ASChambers
    @ASChambers 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Absolute classic!

  • @zh84
    @zh84 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I love this. Also you get to see Olivia Colman before it was discovered she was a Great Actress and won an Oscar.

    • @thatoneguychad420
      @thatoneguychad420 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      She's in stuff older than this too! She is great.

    • @JehanineMelmoth
      @JehanineMelmoth 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Watch Green Wing!

    • @thatoneguychad420
      @thatoneguychad420 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@JehanineMelmoth green wing is awesome.

    • @zh84
      @zh84 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@JehanineMelmoth I did! The first series was one of the funniest things I have ever seen on television. The second was a disappointment.

    • @JehanineMelmoth
      @JehanineMelmoth 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@zh84 agreed.

  • @josemaria8177
    @josemaria8177 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    This sketch sums up US foreign policy post WW2, being the only country with nukes, they could do anything they wanted. It is also well known that Truman's mother made his costume and that he wasn't allowed near local schools

    • @Ceaseless_Watcher
      @Ceaseless_Watcher 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I'm not sure their racist views were harboured secretly.

    • @samveeproductions8762
      @samveeproductions8762 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Are you suggesting that the red tuba represents the Soviet Union or something?

    • @eliamor1782
      @eliamor1782 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      i think all US presidents shouldn’t be allowed near schools

    • @johncitizen306
      @johncitizen306 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@eliamor1782ole sniffy Joe must be on the register surely?

  • @ryanne.5172
    @ryanne.5172 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I have a golden flute that summons the bees

  • @jakebond2294
    @jakebond2294 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This made me feel quite Christmassy.

  • @spencerraney4979
    @spencerraney4979 2 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    If I can’t get a green clarinet that makes people tell embarrassing truths, could I at least get a turquoise oboe that makes people make awkward noises with their mouth?

    • @thatoneguychad420
      @thatoneguychad420 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I've got a purple headed skin flute.

    • @nathanmcgill7249
      @nathanmcgill7249 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Oboes already make the oboist make awkward noises with their mouth

  • @sbraypaynt
    @sbraypaynt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    *Gaunter O Dimm goes to England*

  • @rustyshackelford3590
    @rustyshackelford3590 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I have a orange triangle that makes people impersonate dead celebrities

  • @atheist_addict
    @atheist_addict ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The Green Clarinet is Numberwang.

  • @danielcollin8227
    @danielcollin8227 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have a teal coloured sliding-whistle that makes you vomit pigeons

  • @Bazawaza1
    @Bazawaza1 9 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    With Great Power comes Great Responsibility ;)

  • @louiseogden1296
    @louiseogden1296 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Olivia Coleman is awesome.

  • @Barra_
    @Barra_ 13 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    :O I want a clarinet like that, if only mine did that when I played it lol
    That was hilarious XD

  • @Phloneme
    @Phloneme 9 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    I have a cerulean harpsichord that turns tampons into sardines.

  • @EyesLikeBroccoli
    @EyesLikeBroccoli 10 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Their 'Rude Gandhi' comes in a close second for me.

  • @Wattywatasaurus
    @Wattywatasaurus 11 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I have a blue harmonica that makes people lose all self-restraint. I just sit on the tube and blow into it, and watch what happens.

  • @freekjegeen8603
    @freekjegeen8603 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    I have a turquoise kazoo that makes people punch me in the face
    Pretty sure it isn’t magic though…

  • @playerthe2nd
    @playerthe2nd 16 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    ive got a yellow flute......doesnt do much

  • @googoogjoobgoogoogjoob
    @googoogjoobgoogoogjoob 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Some douche used that tuba on me the other night. Mind you, I had had 8 pints of Stella and a vindaloo.

  • @EazyDuz18
    @EazyDuz18 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Delete, delete, delete, weeeeeeeeee i gone too fast '
    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Elendor57
    @Elendor57 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    You're gonna go far, kid!

  • @thatonekidonaboat1269
    @thatonekidonaboat1269 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Love that every one in the comments are sharing their musical instruments

  • @zapkvr
    @zapkvr 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I just now heard this music on the wireless and it brought me here as if by magic.

  • @TheOneTakeLiveCast
    @TheOneTakeLiveCast 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The head shaking 😆

  • @mossy642
    @mossy642 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    1:19
    Oscar winning actress Olivia Coleman everyone.

  • @brendanyoung282
    @brendanyoung282 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    So funny! And very weird! They must have been laughing their heads off writing this..

  • @Xalgucennia
    @Xalgucennia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The green clarinet is better.
    You'll reveal actual information that's potentially incriminating.
    The red tuba you could just counter with an adult diaper.

  • @TheThomas64fan
    @TheThomas64fan 13 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    an orange trumbone forces you to fall in love with Martha Stewart

  • @RDS_Armwrestling
    @RDS_Armwrestling 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I love how the tune is "I saw three ships" and this video was suggested to me at this time of year (December 2021)

  • @imaweerascal
    @imaweerascal 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Does anyone know where I can get hold on that calendar? It sounds lovely

  • @rnw2739
    @rnw2739 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have a puce pummice stone which, somehow has now become lodged up my Aris....

  • @jimmyr270
    @jimmyr270 14 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I have a yellow French horn which makes everyone giggle like little girls

  • @sirpercivalsmallcock-jones9585
    @sirpercivalsmallcock-jones9585 10 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I have a mauve euphonium that makes cats explode.

    • @LordSandwichII
      @LordSandwichII 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +Throatwobbler Mangrove
      Is your name pronounced "Raymond Luxury Yacht?" XD

    • @sirpercivalsmallcock-jones9585
      @sirpercivalsmallcock-jones9585 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lord Sandwich No, it's spelled that way. I prefer to use 'Throatwobbler Mangrove' as my TH-cam name to avoid mispronunciation.

  • @dractaimatsu
    @dractaimatsu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have a pink theremin that reminds people of ghosts

  • @madmanarragon
    @madmanarragon 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have to try this

  • @Mishima505
    @Mishima505 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Although I wouldn’t mind if Olivia Colman really did push in front of me in a queue…

  • @vikingursigurdsson
    @vikingursigurdsson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have a blue bass that makes people hold their hands over their ears

  • @jxzzpng
    @jxzzpng 10 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    the probation officer tagged me

  • @Chibi_changa
    @Chibi_changa 12 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I have an orange trombone which causes extended periods of mildly inappropriate hallucinations.

  • @Wattywatasaurus
    @Wattywatasaurus 11 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ah! That makes sense! It sounded to me like she was saying "I don't engage in strike well," and I figured that it couldn't be that, because it doesn't make any sense. So I tried harder and harder, and just couldn't hear it any differently. Now you say it, though, I can hear it perfectly!

  • @danielponder690
    @danielponder690 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I have a red bassoon, it offers up no special powers :(

  • @TheCatBilbo
    @TheCatBilbo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have an aubergine triangle that makes your nose itchy. Beware...

  • @KingOfMusic921
    @KingOfMusic921 11 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I have a transparent mandolin that makes you turn into david mitchell

  • @drneotech7254
    @drneotech7254 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So either that tuba makes only Mitchell shit himself or it makes everyone who can hear one of the loadest instruments shit themselves too

  • @asalmog
    @asalmog 11 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    What is he saying after "I'm not allowed near local schools"?

    • @alisalverson7321
      @alisalverson7321 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      The probation service tagged me.

    • @strawberrypencl
      @strawberrypencl 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@alisalverson7321 They did? Oh no! What for?!

    • @alisalverson7321
      @alisalverson7321 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@strawberrypencl It's just what he said after "I'm not allowed near local school"

    • @thatonekidonaboat1269
      @thatonekidonaboat1269 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@alisalverson7321 not sure u got the joke

    • @gglreallysucks5512
      @gglreallysucks5512 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah yeah, Ali.... revealed too much didn’t you?!

  • @cra83
    @cra83 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Was the red tuba man, sitting drinking wine; mickey Flanagan?!

  • @TheOneiFear
    @TheOneiFear 11 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Well you see, I have an orange flute that makes you allergic to oxygen!

  • @BigglesGames1
    @BigglesGames1 15 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Lmao 4:49 Davids yell :P:P

  • @michaelq77
    @michaelq77 11 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I've just advanced my lip reading skills.

  • @danielreed5199
    @danielreed5199 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    David got his wish of sorts.... Robert Webb starred in a film called Confetti, where he and Olivia Colman played nudists.
    Both of them hated the film because they were misled on how much nudity would be shown.

  • @CartesianNullification
    @CartesianNullification 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It be crap to be having a nice meal and then everyone simultaneously shits themselves 💩

  • @alexpeach7439
    @alexpeach7439 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have a white kazoo that makes your scabs turn into geese

  • @gnorung7769
    @gnorung7769 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    One of the earlier brown note jokes

  • @ericpraline
    @ericpraline 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That’s hilarious

  • @jedi01sith
    @jedi01sith 11 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I saw three ships (come sailing in)

  • @Cartoonman154
    @Cartoonman154 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    mr B natural.

  • @justincronkright5025
    @justincronkright5025 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have a brown harmonica, but you don't want to know why it's that colour!

  • @2tommyrad
    @2tommyrad 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Play a lil tune or use it like a truncheon. Versatile!

  • @AngsterGaming
    @AngsterGaming 10 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have a yellow basoon... nevermind.

  • @drewdemien481
    @drewdemien481 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have a blue burlap sweater that makes you itch!?

  • @kezisthename
    @kezisthename 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "my mum has made my costume" LMFAOOOOOO

  • @MaximumPotato0102
    @MaximumPotato0102 14 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I would kill for a red tuba... lol

  • @iamthestig1
    @iamthestig1 11 ปีที่แล้ว

    So would I.

  • @changer_of_ways_suspense_smith
    @changer_of_ways_suspense_smith 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I got a trombone but only the ladies are allowed to play it.

  • @CheyMarie24
    @CheyMarie24 10 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I have a blue saxophone which makes you twerk xD

  • @CyberBeep_kenshi
    @CyberBeep_kenshi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have a sad trombone.wav

  • @chumshot1
    @chumshot1 13 ปีที่แล้ว

    @Thoughtland LOLZZ

  • @richardsawyer5428
    @richardsawyer5428 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    At least it wasn't a pink oboe. I've heard that there's films about those.

  • @MyPhobo
    @MyPhobo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This video quality is way too good I wish it could be blurrier and more stretched out.

    • @jurvajakki
      @jurvajakki 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well this was uploaded back in 2008, gotta understand things weren't as developed back then.

  • @redmystery3.143
    @redmystery3.143 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have a brass coloured trombone that can make any joke funny.

  • @TryDiy
    @TryDiy หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have bagpipes that make me obnoxious.