How Nigerian Women Abroad Treat Their Husbands Anyhow After Earning 'Small Change' - Dr. Nkechi
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ค. 2021
- A Nigerian man in diaspora, Dr. Nkechi Harry calls out Nigerian women in diaspora for not maintaining their culture, but pursuing the white's culture while bossing their husbands for earning a certain amount of salary yearly. What are your thoughts on this? #YourViewTVC
Your View July 22, 2021
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It’s easy to see your neighbour’s garden and think it’s greener than yours, not knowing it’s artificial lawn. Nima is right. Well done Nima.
Fake Lawn 🤣
The man made a valid point.
yeah except not just women who lost their identity? Why blame women only. The problem is that you men gef away with murder in Nigeria and think you can get away with the same thing abroad. Its not that women change but the environment changes. For Nigerian men who are used to privilege of treating their wives like objects find that privilege has been taken away from them. I do not see many Nigerian men fighting against the oppression of their women. Black women are the worst treated species the world because of their men/society treat them badly. Thats why they marry out of their race and enjoy every bit of it. Thats says alot doesn't it?
These sweeping allegations against African women cannot be applied to all African women. You cannot use one paint brush to tarnish all African women. The African Woman is treated like a work horse. If she ever complains, she’s brandished, she’s bad. Sad.
What this man is saying he is 100% right... 90 percent of Nigerian women fall in this category.
If he wants to make sweeping statements, let him. Who cares what he thinks? He doesn't pay your bills
I can attest to his comments he's saying the truth, I have made up my mind no marriage again
Dear married people when you treat your spouse with empathy and love them as you would love your self, marriage will be easier.
Wonder why Nigerian men arent loving their wives?
@@TTHannah
They don't know how to
@@truezladye1893 wow thats sad! That why we need to be teaching our sons better and give them better upbringing so that they will not be burdens to their future spouses and children
@@TTHannah
It is sad, lets teach our sons to do better.
Upbringing plays an important part. 🙏🏼
@@truezladye1893 Absolutely!
When Indians move to place like America, they have their entire generations with them (I over-exaggerate a bit), but seriously they have a support system. They don’t have child care issues because there is their parents, grandparents etc who can support. Nigerian parents will go to the US and be claiming seniority. They will not help with anything, in fact you will join their responsibility with the one you have. In Nigeria at least a lot of people ( not all) can boast of support; cooks, househelps etc. In the UK, US a woman is the cook, cleaner, teacher, driver, wash man, mother, wife and then on top they will now have a man who claims to be the head of the house, doesn’t help with anything, you share all the bills and you then say the women should not complain. Haba!!!
Don't mind him!
On point
I
Exactly
For me when we were in Nigeria I do everything u mentioned house chores , cleaning of compound etc. I eat any thing my wife's prepares I provide 100% of everything at home. My wife only baths the children because they are all girls and feed them. Not one day out of 9yrs of marriage did I complain. But now in Canada she has threatened to throw me out because at the moment she earns more than me and can do most of the bills. We are just 8months in Canada
They need to change their mentality. What is done in Africa won't work in first world countries. That's the truth.
This is a very biased view and unpalatable to me...I have listened to this guy a few times and found his mindset very skewed, very much like he is transferring personal grievances on others, especially women. I live in USA and can tell you that relationships are no different from how they are in Nigeria. People and couples should respect one another, and treat each right.
He is talking in terms of population. Numbers. As a Ghanaian, I will say he is right although there are exceptions.
Foloke
@@jenniferquansah7319, of course he's right. Anyone that says otherwise is in denial. I've watched the full video. He did the video few years ago. The video went viral. He was specifically talking about Nigerian, Ghanaian and Kenyan women. He raised some salient points in that video.
What he said about African women changing their accents in a space of six months of arriving in America is true. But I must admit, some men do that as well.
Soon as they start making $60,000, they think they've arrived, especially the ones that are medical practitioners. But *most* Nigerian women in the IT industry don't have that kind of attitude.
Its called sharing responsibilities SIR.
Nyma became immediately defensive 😂😂😂😂
He sounds silly. So asking your wife to pick up/drop your own child or children to and from school is a change of values?
Exactly.SMH.
From all what he said, that's all your brain could register?
The women only asked for their rights, and some men find that as disrespectful..
Exactly
What is a woman's right? Making d man do both her job and his job? Be like u d meant
@Ativie Jonathan do you leave abroad? If you don't you can't understand..No sensible man wants to mistreat his wife.
@@jatoocaleb7507 a woman works because she's always broke, have no dollar in her wallet always begging for money 1 to 5 dollars from her husband and he always says (have used all the money to pay bills) 🤔so no leftovers. Because of this the wife started working so that she doesn't have to wait for the husband whenever she needs to get something for the kids or for herself. But because she had started working the husband told her she needs to pay the house bills with him just because he does not want her to have money in her wallet or savings, remember that she had her own bills too (car loan, car insurance, medical insurance for herself and the kids, phone bill, gass, and all the kids needs is on her) and also he does nothing in the house to help the wife except watching his phone, the wife takes care of the house, kids, herself and also work even food money she haveto cook from her pocket and the husband is busy sending money home to his friend to build in his name.
What do you expect to happen?
When it get to stage, we voice out
Charity begin at home. Those who lives in Nigeria don’t even want to speak like Nigerians. The only language their children speak is English, so what do you expect when these people leave Nigeria? To those on the table how many of your children speak their language at home ? We are all guilty . The only people that celebrate their culture and language in Nigeria are the Hausas and they are few abroad.
This is so true. Nigerian women come to USA and act very different. This is so sad. They act like they are white . They are degrading themselves. So sad.
Not majority of us. I’m definitely not like that neither are my friends. Many women here are supporting their men. What nonsense! Who is he talking about?
The guy is perfectly right, I live in the US and work in IT where you have very few Nigerian women. Nigerian woman here are crazy @Yk when you bring them here they tend to change and try to run you, I always tell Nigerians when they come not to go back to Mary any one
This man has been watching Real Housewives of Potomac😂😂😂😂😂In the UK, it is the opposite. African women in the UK do appreciates their culture to the extent that we're proud to wear our Native clothes at every opportunity. As you can tell from the British comedy, Africans will never ever change for anyone. The thing is it is alien to Nigerian men to cook, wash, look after house & their Kids😏
Stop lying, it is worse in the UK, stop being in denial
@@kwameutd7500 Are you for Real? Which part of Ghana are you from???
Good point ladies
Hmmmm, I've stayed in india for 5 years now, you don't want to see how their wives deal with their husbands......., you go shaa know say our African Women dey try
Some of us are still making mistakes by comparing Asians with Africans. These people are the custodian of culture, Africa has lost both languages and religion. If you don't stand for something you will fall for everything.
If the men are tired they should leave their wives!..... The law has no gender.... Many women are paying their ex-husband alimony... Many men have gained properties etc via divorce.... All properties and finances (liabilities and assets) are shared by the couple.. That's just the way the law works....
In Europe, the law has gender. Come live in Britain and experience it.
@@bayogeorge-lawal3114Please no law has gender.. I don't know how people come up with these things... We should read the law and forget what people say....Let's read please... If you stop your wife from working, then whatever you have will be shared.... If your wife is working, what will be shared is the combination of the family total assets and liabilities.... Whichever spouse that takes care of the kid(s) will get more....
UK Law: www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends
Canada and US: They are similar to the UK but varies from province to province and from state to state....
Yes no gender bias at all. But 9ja men have a feeling of entitlement like say they're in Africa where the man is the apparent owner of and property regardless that the woman team up together to achieve those things. But if the court system abroad says they should split the properties in abroad they start to whine.
@5:34- 6:00 this comment right here 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💯
Have you asked Indian men how they treat their wives. The women who work so hard to support the family abroad who does not have any domestic help at home should not ask the husband to help. Is that what he is saying. Some men don’t have a job here abroad, the wife makes the money and the bills and also she is expected to be responsible for taking care of the kids and home without any help because she is a Nigerian woman. Really.
I have some Indians and have seen their wives discuss their household responsibilities. They are very conservative. They just will not be Americans but indians. The chinese also and I'm noticing Philippinos too. The conduct of many indian men behind their wives in regards to women is another matter. Look, men seems to be the same everywhere. Nigerian women are overly loud and contentious along with media hype on men.
Nigerians seems to fantasize others a lot and want to copy. The irony is Nigetian women who took the chances of tasting the other waters for a long time end up wanting to settle with a Nigerian man by choice. Those who seek early freedom to leave their husbands still end up cohabiting with another Nigerian which in the longer run make no difference or even worse. Others will still return to Nigeria to get a man they think will be grateful so they can control, but still a Nigerian.
My point is we cannot be people we are not even if we try, and they cannot be us. The Indians have maintained their identity and their homes are doing well within their community. Nigerians have lost theirs and cannot be something se they thought they want to be, neither are they even accepted with such identity.
It all depends on the man and his level of understanding of what marriage is all about, and who is supposed to be in charge.
Identity is culture. We are responsible for everything happening. We don't want to associate among ourselves because we gossip a lot.
Law, traditions and culture are parallel in most instances if not all. Most women have a different mentality when they go abroad, and that's where it should start. Lazy men will complain most about such treatments from their wives. Believe me, if a man makes more money(times 2) than the wife that woman won't do any trash to the man. It's because America is a place of equal opportunities to become rich. Make more than her and give her just a little respect then u will earn her.
I have a friend who asked her wife to stay home during pregnancy and after birth. Till today(it's almost a year) the wife doesn't work and the man does everything. How many women will take that when they're interested in making "their" own money.
I have seen a lady who comes back from work and make sure she cook for her husband before he return from work at least 4 times a week. How many women will do that?. Our women have a problem, let's be realistic. The truth is that they know that the law priotize them over men so some take advantage of that to humiliate, disgrace and suppress their husbands.
Just make more money than her and give her the respect, that's all. Remember, MAKE MORE MONEY THAN HER, don't be lazy.
Just stay in Africa.
I made the video and I was never invited to the show
Culture is not accent, it is a way of life. If a Nigerian woman decides to loose her accent so be it, what has that got to do with culture? I guess every Nigerian abroad now is a cultural ambassador? Has the Scottish English accent brought to Nigeria by the colonial masters, now become a must for all Nigerians to speak? It is not a crime to loose one's accent.
So he can not participate in childcare and homecare.
Nyma thanks as always. In terms of culture, I am an ambassador! As per the changes in roles the man in the video lamented about, that video was out about 2years ago. It's very close to the truth. But dig further and ask why is the man so emasculated? Most women (80%,) are bread winners, while the men have become lazy. In most cases, they engage in disputes over child benefits from government with their wife's, seeking after easy money from government, while expecting the women to come up with financial support and upkeep of the home through those benefits. Mentality of "I am man of the house ", with no bread to provide, and no feasible plan for the future but to live on crumbs from the government? Will a women expect a man who has been on 12hours shift to come home and start changing diapers?. Sisters, please 🙏🏾 get your facts. These men abroad are something else. They haven't understand what it means to say "man of the house"
Lol, "typical". Always passing the buck. It's always someone else's fault. Where did you get your statistics from??? This must be a joke. "80 percent", are you having a laugh??
It takes two to tango. Whilst I will agree that some men are wastemen, but some of these women are irresponsible as well. Anyway a big percentage of African marriages in western world are not built on love but built on material things. Real talk!!
@@wahabodusola6484 I totally agree with ur submission! Alot of the marriages are not built on love. They hustle each other. Period.
@@wahabodusola6484 the number of "waistmen" abroad is alarmingly disgusting!
Nigerian men are not lazy in Nigeria.
So how can they now become lazy in a foreign land?
Doesn't make sense.
@@solomonobihan6200 that's the bitter truth my brother. They become lazy because work or no work, food must come. Worst still if the woman has free housing from the government. Only the educated men here knows the value and essence of being a MAN. The half breed educated ones are even worst!
It is clear that YK is far matured and more experienced
God bless you Nima, oppression is portrayed as submission
I've seen it from my African friends
Naija men re always complaining abt Naija women both home n abroad if u men re tired marry other ethnicity...n leave naija women alone
It's already happening.
We are already doing it
I’m weak 😭😂 .. they let you know real quick 😭😂🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
Some women are the reasons men die early. Choose well cos your life depends on it.
I don't see Indians, Chinese or Koreans wearing their traditional clothes around either.
Oh they do. Indians especially. Men and women. They will put jacket, coats on top of their native gowns( don’t know what they are called).
@@bboss1048 Yeah, their parents not the young ones or the the ones in the labour market. Let's compare likes with likes. No Indian , Korean who works even an entry level admin job wear their Sari to work. In their homes when you see them in the neighborhood barely.
Honestly my African friends think of material things
Bleaching skin
Im still waiting for this man to talk about how Nigerian women are badly treated in their own country. If the men are good and are not narcissist we won't be having this conversation. Misogyny mindset+narcissism+male fragility and insecurity.
I dont see you wear you traditional outfit, double standard much
Lady I watched this video a few days ago. I was so disgusted by this man.
@@tholoanamoeketsi1886 his mannerism is appalling. Its the way he was brought and the environment he grew up at.
Go listen to tapes from Myles Monroe about marriage. Marriage is supposed to add value to you, it does not bring you down. As the woman is working hard to better themselves, the man is also trying to improve himself so they both grow together. Any man with self confidence who has strong self esteem should not even worry about what their women have or do if it improves their self esteem. Build yourself up and worry less about what your wife is doing.
That woman in hijab is not seeing the vantage point being presented. Don't appropriate things that don't work from other people's culture. The nuclear family in their western world in a mess, and somehow Nigerian and African women think that lifestyle is cool.
Morayo try to sound intelligent sometimes... YK was just talking about loss of identity re fake hair and all that. Morayo could not even pause to look at herself. She was talking about you. Do your children speak yoruba or even understand it.. Point is you don't have to travel abroad to lose identity - right there at that table is Morayo!
We should be able to.. fathers and mothers to teach them a second language. We still learning...
High Five 🖐️ Nyma
Concerning Nigerian loosing their identity. I can tell an Africa backwards, sideways, anyway which way.
😂😂😂
This man is talking in the rubbish. Nigerians are quite interesting anywhere and everywhere, period. we are a special breed but you what they say, ta ba gun iyan ninu ewe, ti a sebe ninu epo epa. A good person is a good person. There are still a lot of good Nigerian women in the diaspora and we are great wives and great mothers. Diaspora does not change anybody, it just reveals what has always been there.
We remain proud of our culture even in the diaspora and exhibit this through affiliations with groups, dressing and language...the paradigm shift has to begin in every person and household in Africa, our social and academic curriculum.must change
Well the guy seems to be right. I have heard this over and over. In fact my in law told me that there is a pastor family now who has thrown her husband outside...and loads of others. God dey oo. Maybe they should kukuma stay together and be eating the egusi olororo here in naija oo
No sensible woman will just throw her husband out, the man must still think he was in the land of the oppression aka Nigeria. Nigerian men's narcissistic tendencies don work everywhere. If you arent willing to change and treat women like humans, better choose where people call slavery marriage. such wickedness!
This guy is just looking for attention, I think he was screwed up by a African woman, so he is bitter , his views are one sided
Her nails, skin all western and she is talking about maintaining African culture.
This Guy is talking rubbish. 99% of women in diaspora do work hard and still maintains the home. Nigerian men not all but some are bullies and still live in the backwards days.
Dreamknight from Clubhouse
That Muslim woman is the type sorry for her husband
Most of what he said is True...Our African ladies change once they..make big Money...The Man has no say..she is climbing the Man head....this is truw..in 70 percent of African ladies
50k na big money? 🤣🤣yet the same man want you to split everything 50/50😏
Africa women are the best
He is behaving like a child. No one forced him to get with Nigerian women. Leave them alone. #it'snotamust
Sensitive topic , though plenty of truth in that video.........someone should ask the lady in hijab what's animating her? The video was about culture, but she just went off ...lols.... She's apparently being pinched somewhere...😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣...some hatred demons haunting her obviously........... Yeni showing plenty of common Sense here...... everybody else stayed on topic except for the hijab lady.
Her outlook is western and she is talking maintaining African identity. Her facial expressions, her gestures all western and she is talking about being African.
Nna go back home and help ipob and stop whining on social media. U out here making generic statements 🙄.
Well done Nima👍, women are abroad suffering for lazy men
this man is talking nonsense women stand up for ur right Nigeria man like to use there women and wen u stand up the man will say u ar this u ar that.
I forgot to say they are the chief of material stuff , if you are not wearing Gucci in England you can’t date a Nigerian girl , bros if you are in England and don’t run from Nigeria girl then you are not ready in life , I am a Nigerian and know what I am talking about
Nigerian girls are even running from you guys, marrying outside their race and find absolute bliss.
Nigeria women want too much in marriage in abroad
These women if you love your culture, why moving abroad in the first place. Can't you stay in Africa here and train your children. Why do you move to the US and Canada and UK if you care about your culture.
Please say some nigerians abroad, not all. Some nigerian men are just like dictactors at home here in europe.
This woman in yellow is not a material. Very prideful.
David sacking 40 Pastor is not biblical.
God will seriously judge you. Read your Bible carefully man
Biased view from your view. The Doc is correct.
God forgive this man he does not know what he is saying a lot of women are suffering in there marriage he put the video out and some people in Africa believe what he is saying alot of women are suffering 😭😭
@uche nwachi. I beg tell them
why do you want them to go back to hellfire?
Hello Morayo please with due respect to her my adorable Muslim lady. She is very ignorant of the situation in abroad from her comment. This is rampant here in UK, Ireland, USA. Women have turn themselves to God over men here.
The lady on Hijab is biased
In Indian culture, especially Hindus and Sihks it is the woman that pays DOWRY. Yes, you read that correctly. Instead of Bride price, they pay Groom's price. If you know how much money that Indian girl paid to her inlaws.... you'll understand why Indian marriages last long.
Oga try n understand English next time.
There's a difference between bride price and dowry.
Bride price is paid by the groom and dowry by the bride family and this practice is also here in Nigeria
@@geeunknown1886 Oga try and comprehend what's being said. I'm not talking about bride price or dowry. I'm talking about incentive. Indian culture, women pay dowry, not the men. That isn't a small easily affordable price. Did it ever occur to you that maybe that's a contributing factor in why Indian marriages have a low divorce rate?
Lol, maybe they came to their senses after leaving Africa.
A PURE FEMINIST PANEL ...NO BALANCE.
Overgeneralization
Thats the problem. You love to assign roles to gender. That only works where u are from.
I'm amazed how many of you ladies are giving Nima a thumbs up but not listening to Yeni and Morayo. Americans that came up with the idea of marriage being a partnership how well are they fairing in it? Their marriages are a colossal failure. Let's all accept our God given roles and create a balance we can be happy in our marriages.
This women are so biased
Except Nyma, who has not even traveled o. To generalize is unfair. Most of you ladies have maids, we don't.
I strongly take exception to that so called ' doctor' about his characterization of all Nigerian women abroad. He is so backward thinking, myopic, and needs to stay in his village.
Only Nyma got it right. It is troubling that this man thinks $50k is big money🤣. Just like Nigeria has a class system, so do the Indians and Asians. I wonder what interactions and social gatherings of those races he mixed with. Not all that glitters is gold.
Don't women in Nja wear designer stuff too? If you can afford it, is that a crime? If that is your priority, it is fine with me. Re accents, when you live in a country, your accent/vocabulary has to change especially on a professional level. Has he ever heard of TOEFL? Try helping your kids with vocabulary homework with Nja or even British accents. As long as you know who you are and not pretentious. Most Nigerian kids in the US know who they are. They switch accents.
Some Nigerian men abroad want to control their wives' income without their wives input, cheat, beat them up, dictate how to raise kids when they are never around, want fresh meals any time of the day even when the spouse has a demanding job with no maid/driver. Marriage is a partnership but l am still a properly raised Yoruba woman.
Lastly, most men here enjoy helping their wives without even being asked. Some of these women earn 6 figures or more. Morayo, l am disappointed cos you lived in the States for a while and know how women here struggle without help. YK. Idk what to say. Please avoid broad statements. Not fair at all
Thank you.
The identity he talking about is purely from the angle of men doing home chaos which is a problem to an average African man becos they always want to eat their cake and at the same time have it no matter where they live. If you are offended in doing house work becos your wife/partner is working, then tell her to stop and pay all the bills Just like Nyma said, i hope his mother, sisters aunts are inclusive in the African women he rants about
i guess you didnt hear where he mentions carrying his responsibilities as head and also he has to work plus doing domestic chores, yet the wife paints to the outside world its a 50-50 arrangment. This is beyond loosing cultural identity, this is abuse of the law by the women against the men
@@kayholn7522 what exactly is the law? Educate me.
@@kayholn7522 The same thing women have been doing forever with no complaints. Please deal with it as Nigerian women have been dealing with your oppression for centuries
This guy is talking nonsense ok that's America system you have to help your wife
This man can lie for Africa that he was born in the United States Haba uncle just say the truth you reside there but it's obvious from your accent you were born and lived in naija for quite a while bro.
Exactly😂. you stated my mind.
Mrs. Alhaja Eleha Abori ma bowa, I don't know where your ideology is coming from, even Arabian ( Arabic ) when you see them they always portraits their identity and culture their women are so committed to their husband and marriage. Negative side of civilization is taking away our culture and that is what we don't see in other races like Chinese/ Asian, Arabian, indian even Westerners all of them maintain and sustain their culture. Africans when are going to stop bn fake
The woman with the hijab is a feminist and she is of point from the topic
This women are so biased
She doesn't understand jack....
She didn’t get the point
This woman in yellow is not a material. Very prideful.
Her nails, skin all western and she is talking about maintaining African culture.