'Nigerian Women Have Lost Their Identity, They Want To Be Like The Whites' | Your View Ladies React
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ส.ค. 2024
- A Nigerian man in diaspora, Dr. Nkechi Harry calls out Nigerian women in diaspora for not maintaining their culture, but pursuing the white's culture while bossing their husbands for earning a certain amount of salary yearly. What are your thoughts on this? #YourViewTVC
Your View July 22, 2021
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Some Nigerians lost their identity before they came abroad, bleaching their skin. White face and black body. You don't have to be in the diaspora to wear blonde wigs etc.
They want to be white and that's why they bleach their skins. Bleaching turns me off.
All they have to do is watch American tv shows and they change
💯🔥👏
Lol I don’t see AA bleaching unless they are on TV. Most of us don’t even wear makeup unless it’s a special occasion.
@@blkqueen6201 💯🇺🇸👸🏽🔥👏
I’m in the UK 🇬🇧 people saying Asian women keep their tradition. Please google the amount of stories of domestic violence. Charities that help women.
@Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand facts 🙏🏿, that's need to be told to alot of black women (not all) cos they believe W men are better than B men.
True the number of women in India killed or maimed by their families due to culture.
The caller Hassan from Lekki made a lot of sense. There are many Nigerians living fake westernized or civilized lives even in Nigeria. Parents raising Children who can't speak their native language. Buying processed food than eating the local delicacies, and dressing "foreign" than wearing locally made clothes.
do you want anyone to tell you what to eat or what to wear- these arguments are stupid
Domestic abuse is not 'cultural' or 'local', it is CRIMINAL! Off course the law needs to get involved.
Don't mind the brainwashed folk. A few foreigners talk nonsense about their culture and they take everything personal as African culture. Magnifying a seed into a mountain. A case when your husband or brothers marital issues becomes the entire culture of man. Most of all these talk are unintelligent ranting from delusional feminists whom fail to think from the broad path. The solution to the crisis is to focus on those defaulters and then set up a system through law to avoid any of such abuse rather than try to put off the entire culture or the nature of people like the issue is an inherent issue. If you believe a problem is inherent across humanity then it is you who has a problem and have no understanding.
You have a great culture. You don't understand that the system in America destroys families.
😂😂😂They abuse of us too
I am not nigerian but all nigerian girl i have dated are like this too
Money and getting you down is their point, this is a no sense and we have all the rights for treating them like this.😅😅
Men like him will continue to get into trouble , taking care of children , cooking or helping to tidy up the house its supposed to be the duty of both spouses.
I know what u really wanted to say lol duty of the household is for the women 😆
Where were you when women were the ones doing all of it?. I am sure you never questioned your mother when she was doing all of these things when your dad was there.
Sorry bro, you are not a man. #pathetic
It's not a duty of none but as a man or woman you must clean up after yourself tho
So if it's the duty of both spouses, why is HE doing all the house chores??? What is SHE doing?
Skin bleaching and fake hair. Is this acceptable to the African men?
Skin bleaching is everywhere!
As Morayo said, marriage is local. Marriage and raising family in the U.S.A is geographically different from raising a family in Nigeria. In the U.S., for the family to work, both hands must be on deck. He deliberately and conveniently forgot to mention that the women in abroad here contribute percentages to the home (for the family to run well) versus in Nigeria where the man can easily allow the woman keep her money because the economy allows it. It is hard for men and women to raise families in abroad without them partnering financially and domestically. The Nigerian model of roles simply won't work in developed worlds, except of the man earns so much for the wife to be a stay home wife.
Only the BM talk about submission because the BM is submitted to the WM and the BM needs someone to submit to him
You wish it was like that.get like us.
@@realtomorrow3907 Nah. It is like that.
@@thecateyedoracle5087 like i said get like us.we set standards.🇺🇸
@@realtomorrow3907 I'm in the US now myself don't lie just to help our reputation you have to be a black man all of you don't even know how to be black in a healthy way. This is why our community not thriving too many fake people who aren't really for us who don't know how to be for us all communities have problems don't lie about ours I'm not ashamed enough to lie.
@@thecateyedoracle5087 if so you're one of the fake ppl that ain't with us.but i think you're a foreigner.speaking on what you think you know about us.what a shame.we are much much more than all the negative hype and if you were really black America you would know that..but you not.so gon with your impostorism games.we don't feel your kind.
We both leave in the same system sir, women are not slaves! for example you work full time, your wife work's full time you have children to care for and the woman is the one that will pick them up from daycare, cook and serve you all, clean up, shower the kids and prepare them for bed again at night you want to copulate with her. How could such marriage last in foreign country?
Now somebody is talking!
Well said sister
You nailed it! The man talking in the video must be a narcissist and needs help
On the issue of accent!!!
Is not the accent that’s the problem, Asians and Chinese occupy senior leadership positions in the UK, with their accent. The issue should be learning to communicate well, learning to pronounce words clearly , speaking clearly and calmly. I was in a school in London where a teacher was showing a Scottish film, some students complained and the teacher responded thus: “Having an accent does not mean they can’t speak English well, listen carefully.” It’s wrong to make people feel isolated because of their accent. We must have good communication skills and not get bullied because of our accent.
Why are we so focused on Nigerian women? Who’s the president of Nigeria? Is it a Nigerian woman? Who’s the reason why Nigeria can never progress? What is the reason on why Nigerian women have to leave Nigeria to begin with? Is it because nigerian men couldn’t even provide a stable community for their women to live in, unlike how the Indian man has done for the same woman you’re comparing Nigerian woman to? Hence why you have to flee to white man lands to escape your failures as a man?
Nigeria is the biggest economy in Africa, on course to be a super power according to even your masters. What should other African women be saying if you're accusing Nigerian men of not creating a community?
@@infozone9601 Seems as if having a worthless big economy couldn’t stop you or your countrymen from dreaming about moving to your masters countries in Europe or North America. Nigeria is on the road to being conquered by Chinese men due to a lack of integrity, weakness, and massive self hatred that encompasses Nigerian “men” who also just so happen to be leaders in that pothole you call your land. Taking your anger out on your women due to an inner conflict with yourself on being classified as severely incompetent when you’re compared to other men from different countries wont deviate away from your failures. The whole world is watching. Weren’t you just complaining about sars? You have way bigger issues to deal with than to be focusing on Nigerian women, just Incase your narrow mind couldn’t understand where I’m getting at.
“What should other African women be saying if you’re accusing Nigerian men of not creating a community”
First, so that boko haram infested land where 300 of your women were missing is the “community” you’re proudly boasting? The same community that if you’re caught with an iPhone or anything else that may indicate wealth you risk your life? Secondly, ask North African women what their men have built then compare yourself to those men and see if you’re even 1/8th up to par. Whether you want to admit it or not, Nigerian men themselves have told us that they know they’re failures just based on their actions alone, hence why you’re everywhere except in Nigeria, reaping the benefits that another man has built for the people, especially the women and children of his community and here you shamelessly go running away from your problems which is your OWN country to also reap from your masters own land.
@@infozone9601 “...on course to be a super power” Yet you lot struggle with having power to light even a small part of your country. Wallahi Nigerias live in a completely different word from the rest of us humans. Same people who dream of being a bar of soap in Canada yet Nigeria is a future super power 😭😂 cope harder
@@YaAllahswt Lol, you're over here reporting links that counter your narrative. You piss ant 😂
I love this woman on hijab she makes a good point
I am an African....born in America. We have all been dealt a terrible blow , by colonialism! My identity was kept away from me, because the slave master knew the importance of cultural identity!it is what binds us together. Something they never wanted. Sistahs hold on to your precious identities! I have learned, through African Ancestry (DNA) that i am of kunari lineage. I feel a sense of pride that I've never felt before! I am searching for the culture of my people! We here in America are nothing more than Black , White people. Because our culture was stolen, we had only what was taught to us, by our captors...
Search no more.... you are from bight of Biafra. You identify can never be wiped . All you need is to be pointed in the right directions. So do other descendants of slave trade
Aren't you African?. So how is your colonial master keeping you from your culture?. Where are your parents?
@@purplelove3666 she meant hes an African American during slavery her ancestors were stripped of the heritage and identity
What DNA test have you taken that told you I need one
Talk to your own people that sold you back in the days to the jews
White Christians where the change in the usa
Two cultures should not be compared.
I live in the US and have been here for over 35 years. As a software engineer, I have had the pleasure of working with people from all cultures. Indians, Chinese, whites and black Americans.
And as a Nigerian, I have also been around all types of Nigerians from all tribes.
There is one particular Chinese friend of mine, a lady, who tells her husband what she wants to do and when she wants to do it and it is ok with the husband. However, this woman goes to great lengths to ensure that her husband is happy and his needs are met. They have great understanding and great respect for each other.
Similarly, I have been around Nigerians, Ibos, Yorubas, etc whose marriages are enviable.
Most of those women make over $100,000 a year; some make more than their husbands but they love and respect each other.
I think it boils down to the man or woman's upbringing before s/he goes to America.
His or her assimilations into the American way of life brings out that upbringing to the fore.
Lol, just blame everything on the USA.
How about starting with you the first speaker, that hair is not African. African women on the continent are also lost.
How about talking about how women in almost EVERY culture globally alter some aspect of their appearance to fit that of another culture ie. tanning, lip injections, double eyelid surgery, butt implants, etc yet the ONLY men who publicly shame and criticize their women for doing so are BLACK men? It's honestly quite feminine for a man to be so consumed with a woman's appearance and how she alters it.
The guy wasn't talking about abuse at all
But what he described is abuse
No woman will use any law that is not required if you are real husband and not papanlagi wicked husband. Regarding identity, you guys have no idea what Africans in the diaspora faces on daily basis and there is no point analysing anything here because unless you wear the shoe, you can never understand the pain. Visiting or schooling abroad, I can assure you is not the same.
Thank you o! They think it's easy to have a family abroad. All and both hands must be on deck! It's not the same way it is in Nigeria.
Absolutely correct! 💯%
Please a good marriage doesnt equate a woman become a slave to a man. Submissiveness is two ways for a union to work there has to be a mutual respect and understanding between both parties certainly are each other's helpers not one-sided. I disagree with the doctors opinion. He's abroad do like the romans do. Help your wife, don't leave her with all the responsibilities. It gets to a breaking point her reaction is tend towards disobedience, whereas it isn't the case. My husband and l teach our sons how to be helpful to their spouses in future, so they are better prepared two heads are better than one. Living abroad isn't easy and often lonely not like Nigeria where you can hire a help, so it's overwhelming for a woman to do everything on her own. Most men abroad feel entitled to treat their better half anyhow especially because they elevated them to join them doesn't necessary mean her destiny wouldn't be better off without them!
Submissiveness is not a two-way street the bible say that the woman should be submissive to her man but it doesn't say the man should abused her. How can I submit to somebody that I operate on their emotion
@@johneakins1844 The Bible says both are supposed to submit to each other. The ONLY time a woman is supposed to submit to a man is IF he loves her as Christ loved the Church and lays his life down for her. That means he is sacrificing for her, not exploiting her! If you guys don't get in line, we will ALL leave you for men in other cultures who treat us better!
Nyma is amazing. Thanks for your views. So very balanced
Oga this is not true. And who said nurses earn 100k dollars. Both spouses work hard together, you have to automatically have that accent if you are a working class so you are understood. My husband helps me in house chores and that does not make him a weakling. I still respect him with everything in me. We come back home, we speak igbo, we go to work, your accent changes. We have a blissful marriage because we made God our king. DON'T GENERALIZE IT SIR.
He helps with the house chores, Because l would like to believe that you help out with the family expenses. If not, there wouldn't be anything peace in that house.
It's a complete waste of time arguing with you. Please pass.
If she's earning money and working fulltime, she's taking on HIS role! This man was being intellectually dishonest.
Indian women have thier issues too..there are good and bad in all ..the difference is that Indian men are not dragging the women out on social media like Nigerian men..this man has an issue..
The truth hurts right?
@@kogi9023 the truth heals..personal opinions are subjective.. what works for one might not work for another..The truth sets you free.
THANK YOU
@@kogi9023 Clearly the truth she said has you pained. Go and end sars and keep nigerian women out your mouth.
Alas, black men of every nationality berate their women and they are the only ones to go this and it says as much snout them as it says about the women they are dragging through the mud. They conveniently forget that their mother’s, grandmother’s, and sisters are all black. It’s very sad, disturbing and very disgusting. They forget the whole world is watching and judging!!!
Why our people wanna be white, not me, i love the skin i'm in
Speak sister…as a foundational black American, I can honestly say we are the only Pan Africans trying to create unified black unity..Thanks Sis for enlighten the Diaspora…
I wish I called in. The issue here is that the panelists are analyzing marriage from a Nigerian environment standpoint without actually understanding effects of the difference in the environment on marriages. I live in the USA and I don’t like that a a lot of Nigerians loose their identity while living here but it’s generally a black thing due to the mental conditioning from colonization.
I have tried to make sure I remain as an authentic Nigerian despite how long I have lived here. I am a physician and I am old fashioned. I believe that there are gender roles and this shouldn’t change despite a change in environment. However, I am lucky to be married to someone that I truly love, he actually adores me so I find myself seamlessly performing my role in the home without hiccups and he does likewise.
There are several factors at play while abroad that may frustrate marriages. But I will concentrate on one major factor-Immigration benefit. Immigration benefit is a big factor that I see here. A lot of Nigerian marriages abroad happen due to the immigration advantage one of the spouses stand to gain. I know we ain’t ready for this discussion but it’s a major factor. These marriages initially start out cool until the spouse that stands to gain a green card or citizenship finally gets it then the other person starts seeing the spouse’s true colors! So in essence a lot of couples are incompatible with spouses that may be looking for ways to actually check out of the marriage. With such disharmony, no one is ready to work together to play their roles adequately, or raise kids with common goals, neither are they ready to calm down enough to treat each other better. This is what then leads to the deterioration we see in most marriages abroad.
It is a nuanced issue. Some men are wicked too. Some men bring women her, make them nurses, immediately the man retires and begins to live off the woman. That is not good.
Any day you decide to take your wife to UK, USA, Germany, Belgium..... any country where they pay child support, just know that your marriage ending in divorce is now 90 -95%, if you are lucky enough. But If you are not, it may cost you your life.
Absolutely! Which is a tragedy really.
Facts
Why are you angry that you are paying child support.do you become a woman when you go to those countries?.or do you have a problem paying for your children?. These "men"
@@purplelove3666 where do you live Before l answer you?
@@SOLYTE_TV oh she is American
It’s not just Nigerian women. We all in the diaspora need to reflect and pivot.
You can't underestimate the power of the US media.
Please can this man not label African nurses in diaspora.
I work in nursing home African women behave badly towards black women
@@beanfriend9534
They really do. I don’t understand it.
Yeni, you are an epitome of modern day civility. God bless your intellectual acumen. Your wisdom & contribution on this panel today is 2nd to none.
I am nigerian living in diaspora our men are just wicked to there nigerian wives.
Stop lieing
Don’t say our men. All of them are not like that. Allot of them help including my husband.
Just few of them that has the fear of God Almighty.
@@dorothyngene there are lot of good Nigerian men everywhere, are you saying all the Nigerian women in abroad are good?
No some of them are creeps from hell
This is too general, most of the Africans here in the UK, flaunts our culture with pride. We wear our natural hair, fabrics and embrace our identity with dignity. Also, connection is not what gets you a job abroad, it depends on the job market, (that said, there's institutional racism).😔
The problem, I, as a Nigerian have observed / experienced is that 'we' Africans are not united. For example, we do not patronise each other like the other cultures mentioned on the shows. How many of us will buy from our 'own' like the Jews, for instance? Instead, we are all about competing with each other as if we're running the same race or that the fingers are equal?!
That Man speaking doesn't know in India the woman payed the Groom price. India women are being humiliated by their men. India is a mother land so the women has the duty to keep the culture. And Indians Generally always keep their customs home and abroad. At home Indians say you break their culture they break you.
He was born in America?? With that thick accent?????😳😳😳
He might be born in USA but raised in Nigeria.
The western Women never engaged in that gross immorality you see today in Nigeria, ok. Look the Nigerian women today for instance, especially the Yoruba Women with their open infidelity, i never see that here as a mater of fact i see woman got murd3red by spouses here when they cheated. Nigeria today is rotening away NOT because of the western cuture but because of Nigerian cuture and the Nigerian way of life. Baby factory, human parts and human flesh restaurants not to mentioned kidnappings and rituals are not western culture, ok. Think about that!
Are u drunk?
Are you in abroad?.
The over exaggeration of make up that’s what gets me. 🤣.
I love this subject , we are fighting spiritual wickedness everywhere .
There is loss of identity for all Nigerians living far from their culture it is up to families and groups to have initiatives to teach their kids their dialect say on weekends when they are off school like Igbos do this in my locality. This gives the kids something to look forward to and opportunity to socialise. Some Nigerian men are not pulling their weight when it suits them they are partners usually where money is involved but when housework is involved they are the head of their households. The men have a double standard. The Asians talked about shamelessly do whatever they can to build their homes. The men cook clean do school run as the head of their homes if their wives are working but no be Nigerian men o. Nigerian men need to start helping out without feeling bad it was an Indian man who asked me why do our men treat their women so bad. I had to explain that it is the culture. Our culture is not fair to our women.
Even Nigerians living in Nigeria.. You are from Rivers state living in ogun state..how would it affect your household? Would your children not likely speak Yoruba?
When a man wash and clean and do all those things na Nigerian women go still dey course say e no wan go find work, na woman dey feed am. There is flip side to every coin.
@@mrikeict Oga he has to do those things and also work just as the woman does those things and work. It takes two to make a family work
@@goodnesswami1599 thank you
@@goodnesswami1599 Even at that.
Sir you got it all wrong.Our Men in diaspora do not support their wives.
Most reasonable Men abroad wouldn't dare physically abuse their wives because that is the fastest route to destroying one's destiny. So other factors are the cause of the crumbling of the African family in the diaspora. However, the consequences of the families being broken up are enormous and is evident in the number of African kids involved in all sorts of crimes that are landing young Africans in jail and six feet under. We need to do better or we will collectively pay the price for failure.
The main reason for Nigerian is that they have no knowledge who they are. They're into every religion on this earth but have no knowledge who they are . The scriptures says in Hosea 4:6 my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge, because thou hast rejected knowledge; I will also reject thee,that thou shalt be no priest to me;seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget Thy children.
Nigerian are Israelite and must get back in touch with their God, the God of Israeli and follow his laws and statues. Without the words of the Most High the house whole will always breakdown. Because there is no structural guidelines to follow. You cannot live without air so the house whole cannot be kept when they are aboard without the commandments of the Most High.
Shalom
this is the Whole Truth and nothing Truth.
@@joyfulsoul4967, Lol says who exactly ?
@GodIZGreat HumansSuck, Lol they are so confused and don't even know their own history yet want to tell us were we come from! 😆😆😆
@GodIZGreat HumansSuck where did jews get their laws and commandments from? It wasn't from Europeans. What were we called before jews, Christians, muslims, when we held those same beliefs. Those beliefs didn't originate with them.
@GodIZGreat HumansSuck The Torah, bible and koran has nothing to do with being African.
Thank you o! I also speak shrewshrewsheew because my colleagues won't understand, especially the kids I work with in schools. So I switch to Nigerian accent at home. It's called code switching. Morayo is here talking about Texas as if Texas Nigerians are same as Oklahoma Nigerians 😂 y'all are discussing what you have no experience with or understanding of. Have you all done even online research about this issue, to see stories.
Only Mariam brought a balanced perspective that acknowledges lived experiences and reality of people.
God bless you Nyma. This man is bitter. He made comparison with Indian women and Korean women. Don’t forget, Nigerian women in America have no support system and the only support system is her spouse. Is he in those homes? How does he know what goes on in those homes.
All those other nationalities he mentioned their men respect their women through and through. Nigerian men should cut us some slack please
@@funkesobowale5543Lol
He should compare himself to asian MEN, White MEN and all the other races, how far they are ,how successful the, are and what they build.
Nyma, great advocacy. To a great extent, marriage is marriage regardless of geographical location. Generally, women just want to be treated with empathy and respect even if love is not part of the equation.
Really great discussion, I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability!
I'm a Black American woman I would love to service a African man African men are the best I love there way they are
You sound desperate 🤒
@@SunnyandNova I am
@@beanfriend9534, Don't mind them ma'am, I admire AA women and i'm Nigerian I hope you find your African husband to be! 🤗
@Owie Black Don't think I ever met one like that. Even the baby boomer African men are male feminist. They all pushed their daughters to stem field.
Back to your feminist nonsense though...
@@@SunnyandNova A lot of them are desperate for an African man. then when they get into a relationship with an African man and he starts mistreating them or gets a green card and vanishes they begin to bash Africans.
So happy the women are standing up. Cause it is the man's family, why should he be sitting around doing nothing when he has a family. Children are 24;7, so why is it wrong for the man to help with the kids and taking them to school, and cooking dinner. This shouldn't even be a conversation, it make the men look lazy that he would complain to help his own family. That first lady that spoke acting as if the women are such a problem cause they're overworked and need help. I even heard of Nigerian men beating their wives, is that also culture? This is your wife, help her, I hate when it's all about who does what, at the end of the day it is your family, and a real man would want to do what ever it takes to see his family happy and successful.
Thanks Nyma
Black Americans on a whole do not look up to Africans. We are totally different people. We are the people of the Bible. We are not African or American, we are the true Jews (Israelites).
It's not about being boss. Most of our men love to marry a slave, not a wife. When they get abroad, that become a problem because the woman finds her voice. By then, they'd be saying that she has been westernized. Make some of our men dey sofre.
Even many Nigerians in Nigeria have lost their identities. Just listen to News reporters who read the Nigerian news with foreign accents. Its an inferiority complex issues, and the need to feel superior to others they deem beneath them. Concerning our Brother's narratives, his opinion is not accurate with all Nigerian Women in the Diaspora. Many Nigerian Men that share the same opinion with him have refused to accept the family and cultural dynamic of households in the US. Women can't afford help with raising children and taking care of their homes adequately like some Nigerian families can afford. Many Nigerian women are very hardworking, having full-time jobs outside their homes. Sometimes, their Husbands are not working or able to provide sufficiently for the family requiring the women to step. Yet, these same Men still expect the Women to perform 100% Housewives' duties. Its really disheartening!
Murayo, is the hair on your head relate to your culture?
Your capacity to discern & analyze men who campaign endlessly about the Diasporan African woman's lack of submissiveness, cultural values, traditions was most outstanding & second to none amongst your copresenters.
The real intent of such men is often is to covertly subdue, dominate spouses and possibly perpetrating covert emotional abuse with unsuspecting onlookers as abuse enablers/ spectators.
Captured in entirety by you were some marital issues especially abuse faced by women from the Indian subcontinent ie. India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh & Pakistan; shattered the highly inaccurate perspective of Asian women given by him for comparison.
The use of Asian women as an exemplary template by this man is deliberate, inaccurate & to mislead uninformed folks about life as non-indigenous person(s) in Europe/ America.
Many diasporan women from the Indian subcontinent ie Bangladesh, Pakistan, India & Sri Lanka in the UK have found themselves in abusive circumstances. This occurrence has been seen for decades (especially in well educated 1st, 2nd & 3rd generation British) where the bravest often take necessary means in emancipating themselves by divorce. This has involved in some cases drastic measures by removing themselves completely from abusive enabling relatives/ members of their racial, ethnic religious communities in their town to another hundreds of miles way or another country where they don't know a single person to rebuild their lives after escaping violence.
Many African male campaigners relentlessly blame the African woman for everything stating lack of respect, submissiveness etc have a role in this issue too. They more often than not aren't putting the right and/or sufficient effort into their marriages to keep it afloat.
Submissiveness = Speech, thoughts that align with or originate from the husband (100% unchallenged)" is re-branded as "African culture".
This extremely warped delusion which they've purposefully defined as submissiveness is actually spousal abuse 😞. A woman dare not leave her spouse, speak if she's abused; trying to be herself, adapting reasonably in her new environment (where & when culturally appropriate) without the approval & consent of the "man of the house" is considered a major issue.
She in his opinion has to be chained & bound mentally by the highly specified nature of that her slave master...oops "her husband" has defined for her.
The modern relationship/ partnership in the developed world often needs both engaging in full time employment and enterprise
to survive and enjoy certain lifestyle comfort. There's sometimes a need for taking some reversed gender roles contrary to tradition just to survive. This of course is not definitive case for everyone as every circumstance is unique. This is the case for most immigrant couples irrespective of wherever they originated from or reside; whether it be Brazil, Ghana, UK, USA, Botswana, Venezuela, Nigeria, Nepal, Egypt, Japan, Australia, The Philippines etc.
Mutual respect, love, care, support is essential for survival and longevity of any marriage. It involves working with one's spouse with patience, time, devotion & understanding to achieve mutual goals. Very likely, the desired spousal adoration "respect" etc will be the end result.
Highly intelligent, factual, precise & very beautifully articulated points, Nyma! 💯% Remain blessed & much love from the UK.
Nyma well done! You are too much, thank you for saying the truth 🙌
What is man talking about? Abuse is abuse and must not be tolerated by women or men! Simple as that!
The problem is not ALL Nigerian women in the diaspora are the same. There are many who actually embrace their true identity which isn't even Nigerian it is the tribe they are from. But also living in the diaspora and trying to survive unfortunately sometimes in general Black People as a whole have to be like White people. It's the harsh reality of rac*al discrimination due to colonialism and now neo-colonialism that is going on Nigeria and other African countries
This is a very sad statement. The fact that you believe you cannot become successful unless you portray yourself in an unauthentic manner perpetuates the myth of white superiority.
Its 2021 and you are still colonized
?. Isnt that disgraceful?.
What is wrong with carrying a designer bag and clothes if u can legitimately afford that....if u are a man and you can not help with taking care of the kids ....pls do not make a kid....it takes 2 to tangle to have a family mostly abroad
Statistics don’t lie. Over 75% of divorce cases in Western countries are initiated by women; including Nigerian women. It simply means we’ve transitioned seamlessly into a culture that promotes divorce through liberal legislations.
But the irony is that the black community has more broken homes than other cultures. Statistically speaking. This would suggest our women do participate in that statistics when they go abroad (which is one of the partial truths the man in the video was alluding to) because the temptation to take advantage of the favourable laws is real. You can fight or deny it but you can’t fight against the evidence.
I know so many men ( distant and near) who’ve lost their homes/children to their African spouses and the ones that are still married have been almost emasculated. I wouldn’t encourage any women to remain with a continually abusive man. But some do end their marriages on a whim.
Of course there’re still successful marriages amongst Nigerians abroad. But the story of the majority is the aforementioned both statistically and experientially. This is rather unfortunate.
This man is sick we woman have to be respected
Slay queen?
Great show
If you don't stay abroad then this topic is far from you. The African ladies without abuse do this. The moment they make lil money, it's over. The identity crisis is real for both sexes.
I stay abroad and they don't.
@@floBar51651 yes they do
The lady on hijab is losing the discussion . Nobody was talking about abusive relationship...she brought that in. The video was about losing identity and using USA court to destroy your marriage...I'm The older lady was able to direct the discussion properly. Neemah should be calming down
We ALL are thinking about abusive relationships..all of us women!
The thing is that nigerian men can really be cruel towards our women. But how ever we need to be really careful with what we have see on media. Another is not as it seems.
Noone wears sari or Iro n buba to work o but we all wear them when necessary.
Men are very fast to shift blame on women.
Most of these things they're guilty of, for example, a study was recently carried out and it was discovered that men shop more than women - all my life I've heard of women shopping more, going on shopping sprees, etc 😀.
Just be nice and teach your woman, in a loving way, how you want her to be.
Dont marry just to change someone. If you dont like how she is then move on.can you men change your ways?.
🤣😂🤔 im a sailor and what i see arround is a total difrend reality for africans, as what the ladys talk abboud. What i see in europe usa and Azië is a difrend contrast! When you know the truht you be ashamed as a woman! And thats for 90 procent of the african people in usa and europe! Go look and speak later!
I live in the USA, yet not with the black community for various reasons which include the oppressive, suppressive, and repressive nature of blacks especially Nigerians. With whites , you know where you stand, not so with Nigerians. Also Nigerian clothing is not practical in the white world for everyday. A jeans and t shirt or shirt and skirt or slipping on a dress cannot be compared to the flamboyance and time it takes to get dressed in Nigerian attire. I don’t wear wigs and have managed to grow my natural hair. Do I speak English to my kids, of course- it is the global language. Does this mean I have lost my identity... no . Your identity is the content of your character not your country or community, in an increasingly global village.
@Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand All cultures favor men silly. Grow up
Indian men do house chores too. Indian men are humble and help their wives at home. In fact Indian women and Chinese women are like men in a home. They are in charge and their men respect that and work with them
YEAH.......But you wont respect a Nigerian man in the home, you will abuse him if he's nice.
@@nuwberian732 Why will I abuse my husband. He will not abuse me too. I am saying the men and women need too work together in their homes to make the family work. That’s all
I really pity the mans wife and sisters.l think he is not married.
His perception of marriage is 100% wrong. A man should contribute in the house keeping of his home. Accent has nothing to do with marriage being successful. Marriage is a partnership. In any where in the world all men should know how to take care of his kids. Nothing is wrong with changing your kids diapers. A woman changing her hairstyle doesn't change her. It's natural to want to live in a better area when you can afford. Indian women take their men to court if they are abused. Gucci bag has nothing to do with culture but affordability.
Am confused here this hostess dey talk abt other women lost thier value but u dey tv inside wearing a wig like oyibo girl? I beg shift make I faint na
I'm Indian as a virtue of marrying an Indian Lady.. Blessed with the most cutest boy( Afro-Indian)on the planet... Indian cherish their culture more than anything . you can't take it away from them...as for my naija people na copycat them be..we lost our identity the moments we stepped on a plane ..
You’re Indian? 🤣🤣🤣 my husband is Pakistani does that make me Pakistani?
Or is my husband Nigerian? Because he is married to a Nigerian lady? 😂😂
Our son is Afro Pakistani according to you 😂 so am I Pakistani? Or are we all Nigerians?
It’s hilarious that you say Nigerians are copy cats and loose their identity when
ADEYEMI your first sentence is you are INDIAN because your woman is Indian 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I guess you are truly Nigerian by your own admission of being a copycat and loosing your identity 🤣🤣🤣
@@miriams3769 well,that's your own opinion and you are entitled to it Sis....
This lady with hijab is totally wrong on men in diaspora Nigeria is different being in a country where women got power don't mean you can punish ur man because of Nigeria way now,there is a real problem with African women in Europe and america
What's funny too is that she is probably is a Muslim which religion is more harsh towards women
My Indian collegue’s husband comes every evening to come and pick even though they live 10 min walk from our job, you people should go and read 1perter 3:7 before you start talking about submission.
Ladies, this was a most exciting topic, especially when you talked about the Harvard graduate. It was good to have your perspective on how Nigerian women see themselves abroad.
Finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention how beautiful you all are. To the woman in the yellow outfit, SIIIISSSS, the fashion is head to stiletto stunning!
100% of them have forget their culture.
Will speak from a UK point of view... it encourages women to leave their men, cos the government takes care of U, U make more money as a single mother... please ask around if I'm lying
If your on benefits and have no education them probably. But if your educated and have a well paying job it certainly does not sir. The man should be taking care of his wife and if she leaves he clearly isn't taking care of her is he.
Only if u have nothing....if u have a good job...gov takes back the womans money ....mostly as taxes
@Lof Tey2 ... you are obviously the loser here... give ur opinion and not be abusive, if you are insecure and bitter that’s your problem 😝🤪
Many times people compare an aspect of themselves with other people, but in reality they don't have all the facts of the drama within other communities. Other times in one aspect where one group is doing well, the other is not, and vice versa.
Ladies, this was an excellent discussion. The same dynamics are here in U.S. We see wanting better means moving into communities with other cultures away from crime and with people who have similar educational, family, and financial goals.
Get a better studio director, they're messing up your show. If you're on public access, maybe bring in a professional. Your show is too important to have technical difficulties destroy the audio quality, show.
Anything u could say in this matter, just know that it goes both ways. Don't blame man or woman... Blame humans.
Alhaja has no idea. A lot of Nigerian women out in UK, US, Canada have since lost their values. They will talk to their husbands anyhow they like, leave the house without a bother about saying where they're going to and be gone for hours. Just messing up all over the place. And yes, if they work and earn, even worse.
Abi o… if women earn, you as a man should still puff ur shoulders and ask them to submit their money and dignity to you while if it’s you the man making all the money, you expect to be worshipped and submitted to, while they treat the woman anyhow! Nyma is dissecting the issues correctly and I’m speaking from experience.
Nyma God bless you jare. The man's opinion is so vague and unbalanced.
Very myopic view. I know of an Indian family that is presently going through divorce because the woman suffered domestic abuse over the years and just couldn’t take it anymore. The guy’s view is so one sided. We should learn to look at all sides of the matter even though we decide to pitch tent with a view.
Kmt he was born on the wrong generation- we know our identity. Cleaning is not it, cooking for you while you are texting cheating with other women. Cook for yourself am I your chef? If your my hubby and good you will enjoy. But a man who wants to sit like some Oba but has peasant mentality will not enjoy me until the wheels fall off and then say I’m tired I need a new woman. Bye
😂😂🤣🤣. Beautifully said.
God bless you the host
It's not people abroad that have lost their identity. How many young children in Yoruba land can speak Yoruba language?. Tell me if any of you speak Yoruba to your children. We've really lost it!!!. Charity begins at home, maybe you guys should start. Faking oyinbo accent and trying to look like one is what Nigerians girls do.
It's just a matter of time the Yoruba film industry fizzle out. I'm really grateful to my parents. We spoke Yoruba at home. I have India neighbors, they speak their language to their kids anywhere, anytime here in Toronto. We have lost it. No nations can be great without having an identity.
I agree with Joseph.
Excellent Topic! I'm impressed with how well all the Women articulate!!!!!
Sir respectively, expand your circle. Based on everything you said, you have little to no knowledge about Indian women.
The Dr Nkechi guy is ignorant and misogynistic. Calling Indian women, things?...in 2021? A rich Dr in America will live where his coins allows him to, in a rich neighborhood. Living in diaspora has its own set of issues, please don't try and draw parallels that are not equitable with living back on the African continent with its own set of rules.
I knew he was about to spew some b.s the moment he called those women "4 feet things". He wants a slave that bears children, women don't deserve that. He should put himself in the shoes of these women.
He is simply a narcissistic SOB
Educate him for me please..
If she works and you work she has to do for you the baby and the house. What do you do? Keep your accent. Keep your color. Don't become material. But your wife is not a mule
I supported anty Yeni on our identity and culture ,language and manners
Well I think we all know the angle the man is coming from but as usual we have to be Nigerians, we have to be hypocritical, we have to lie to ourselves and others. He isn't talking about scenario of a man maltreating a woman/wife. In the UK it is common to see cases of African women (especially Nigerian women) taking advantage of the system by maltreating their men with every slight opportunity. If the man does little mistake or offends the woman in a very little way she uses the system on him. Little misunderstanding that should be trashed out in-house the woman brings in her abroad woman power and throws the man out etc. Recently this man caught his wife right in his bed with another man. The bf and the wife beat up the man and she still called the police to throw him out. The house is now hers. It's a common thing amongst our people in the UK.
Terrible but the way he presented it did not shed light on his context.
Thru im from Nederland and sail arround!
Good discourse
Women discussing women will be on the side of women. They are the same!
What the man said was not about women emancipation.
Religion is also to blame. Taking slave master's religions.
Yes.. they won't see it though
The Nigerian American is the most successful immigrant community in the USA ahead of any Asian or European immigrant communities. We do have organisation's and meetings where in my case Igbo is the language spoken. Having said that, I disagree with the author of the video, A Nigerian woman is still a woman and deserves all the rights and protections allowed in the constitution and any husband that abuses that deserves the consequences.
Ahead of Asians you sound delusional
Stay on your own country and help fix your problems
Your a fool that's false Taiwanese are the most successful
@@abigailowusu4866 No need to argue, you can Google it for confirmation, you know. Don't sell our people short.
@@Winston_Chu says the Taiwanese with some jibbrish for a name. Bless your little heart.
In Nigeria, there's communal living, we have relations/employed helps to make make works around the house easier. Moreover, you can juggle work with house errands with ease, you can get small permissions from your work place such as going to school runs,market etc A colleague at work can stand in for you while you go for school run or market, but abroad, it's a no-no. If your work is 8 to 5, then you will work 8 to 5 and standing for that matter so you get home totally spent.
Nigerian government should fix the country and more than halve of our people abroad will come running home
Dis is the best conversation dat needs to continue. It's part of d effects of post colonialism/slavery of black people. Lots of people don't know wat Scripture means by "submit" so d word is abused. Eph5:22-30 gives d perfect description of husband&wife relationship which is about God's culture & not human culture.