Story 3 and the issue of throwing bones and laying hints is very relatable. I was a new player and didn’t understand how to interact with a ttrpg world. My DM would make comments about how I was missing a lot of loot because I wasn’t looking for it, but I WAS doing investigation checks, and I also didn’t want to hog all the time looting. When I didn’t roll well though, I would just leave it because it felt like meta gaming to keep pushing because I “failed.” After multiple sessions I explained that I felt like I was trying, and if there really was that much I was missing, that whatever he thought was obvious clearly wasn’t registering with the way I was perceiving or understanding the game. Its just frustrating when one side doesn’t take the feedback and continues to treat you as if you’re the reason things aren’t working
If someone asks for you to review their work but only wants a "positive" review, then they don't want a review or feedback. They want a compliment. As someone who reviews books often in exchange for advance digital copies, no one is owed an "all positive" review. Domi (I hope I'm spelling that correctly), you were polite and honest about your experiences and how the DM could improve in the future. And you gave them a 4 star review which is ABOVE decent. Honestly, if I read a review that said "yeah the first session was a bit rough but it got better and I had so much fun", I would be more willing to give the DM a chance as a potential player because I know that they listen and adjust their DMing to be more inclusive!! editing to add: When it comes to reviews, they're not always meant entirely for the business but as a way to inform potential consumers. And like Mags' said, especially when money is involved (ESPECIALLY $25 PER SESSION), honest reviews for potential customers is so important. You're not the asshole in any way here for leaving an honest and kind review or for rating 4 stars.
47:32 I have a potential diagnosis for “Bob”. I run D&D club at the library so I’ve seen this player type before. They seem to have no interest in the game but they don’t quit. They also seem really irritated and make remarks about the game like Bob about not knowing anything. Almost all of these players I find take up D&D as a matter of identity, they like books, or games and consider themselves a nerd but then they just don’t like tabletop games. So they get caught hating the game but feeling guilty like they are betraying their identity. It sucks but the cure is they just have to figure it out for themselves that they probably would rather play Baldur’s gate or Skyrim
Third Story: While I agree that Bob doesn't know what he wants and needs to communicate that with the DM, from the sounds of it, he may think of D&D as little more than a combat simulator. If the DM involves him in fights, and realizes that he's much more into combat than anything else, then maybe that could be a focus for him; it doesn't sound like this is the table for him if that's the case, but maybe the DM can help him find a more combat-focused group to play with. If he is not active in combat either, then that means he isn't in it for combat, so he'd need to think about what it is that he plays D&D for, or what he wants to get out of the game.
I had command used on one of my charecters when my 3ft blue tabaxi jumped in front of the barbarian to take the hit ment for an NPC. We had a big blow out about that, turned out the player who cast it's charecter had a thing about free will, that caused a whole other discussion XD
Going off of the Command discussion, I totally understand the Rogue feeling a certain way. I have a very strong opinion that Enchantment Magic is the most evil school of magic within DnD (and any other media source that uses magic like that). There’s just something so morally wrong to me that the simplest magic (Cantrip: Friends, 1st level: Command) can be used to create your own narrative. Obviously the DM can draw the line but on a macro level, the world of DnD sees it’s normal to charm the guards to get the key, but the same spell can do so much harm within context. - Certified Yapper
I hate to break it to you, but the vast majority of spells can do a tremendous deal of harm within context. Is it better to use Friends to get the guard to give you the key or should I prepare Firebolt and blow his brains out instead?
Fourth Story: I have to imagine that this story wouldn't have happened if the person had written the exact same review, but had left a five-star score. I don't think the DM even cared about what was said about them; they just want that perfect score to keep their cumulative score up, because it probably feeds some algorithm that puts them higher or lower on some ranking list that is used for finding DM's on whatever that website is. So OP is absolutely not the asshole here, and while the DM is a jerk for probably only fishing for good reviews, the real villain, as always, is capitalism and the need to rise to the top of some list for the sake of being able to make money. As for the "missing one star" thing that Margaret brought up at around 1:06:20, OP was very clear, from how it sounds, for why they took that one star away, and that reason should have served as something the GM could review about their style of GMing for incoming new players and worked on. But rather than accepting that critique and learning from it, they saw it as a slight against them, despite it being something OP had made them aware of from the start of playing. So I don't think that's the case at all.
Guilt tripping for positive reviews is crazy. Normally I wouldn't mind if I was just joining a game and the DM had a specific point at which they wanted to bring me in that didn't end up happening for most of the session (it's happened before and it's usually to make a cool, dramatic entrance). But if I'm PAYING PER SESSION you better drop me in almost immediately.
I think another thing to consider about the first AITA is the dynamic of both people (especially in a couple) casting spells on the Rogue specifically. It might've given them the impression that these 2 people were ganging up on them, and almost everyone tends to get a bit uncomfortable and defensive when they feel outnumbered and picked on. The initial command spell from OP's partner seemed ok, it sounded like the Rogue took in stride, but starting the subsequent argument about which way he "dropped" & the spell from OP was an unnecessary escalation and would've definitely reinforced that kind of vibe. That being said, if the Rogue wasn't participating with the rest of the party on certain things and didn't seem to enjoy what everyone else enjoyed, it does seem like it probably just wasn't the table for them. Plus, the fact OP is self aware enough to realise they may be in the wrong shows they're still a good person, just made a bad decision in the moment :)
That GM doesn’t deserve a 5 star review BECAUSE of how they reacted, I think it’s indicative of who they are. If that’s how they take feedback, that WILL present itself during games at some point. They simply validated that they aren’t a 5
Different companies want the reviews for different purposes. Sometimes it's for corporate or shareholder signaling, sometimes it's a management tool to use against their staff, and even in circumstances where they allow for the review to be for the use of other consumers there are significant ways the review programs work. In much the same way that Google search has worsened, reviews as a consumer tool have worsened. I work for a company that asks for reviews but doesn't actually want reviews. Sometimes when you have negative feedback, it's better to take it to the party responsible first or to leave the negative feedback under the 5 star review so people reading can benefit from the feedback without the persons score dropping. At the end of the day though, if you paid for a product then it's your right to give your honest review.
![เปิดบ้าน โคตรสวย ป๋องกพล รู้จักตั้งนาน เพิ่งรู้ว่ารวย!!! l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tmgCF_2HfYI/mqdefault.jpg)
15:57 - Advice 1
32:27 - Advice 2
45:13 - Advice 3
57:25 - Advice 4
∞ - Advice 5: How to unlock the secrets of Dungeon Mastering.
Thank youuuuuu!!!
I had a mini show up broken off Etsy once. I messaged the seller with a pic and they sent me another one without issue. No need to be angry.
Yup, any good mini seller should be willing to at least look. I has issues with some minis and got a refund back because stock was out.
Story 3 and the issue of throwing bones and laying hints is very relatable. I was a new player and didn’t understand how to interact with a ttrpg world. My DM would make comments about how I was missing a lot of loot because I wasn’t looking for it, but I WAS doing investigation checks, and I also didn’t want to hog all the time looting. When I didn’t roll well though, I would just leave it because it felt like meta gaming to keep pushing because I “failed.” After multiple sessions I explained that I felt like I was trying, and if there really was that much I was missing, that whatever he thought was obvious clearly wasn’t registering with the way I was perceiving or understanding the game.
Its just frustrating when one side doesn’t take the feedback and continues to treat you as if you’re the reason things aren’t working
Love this channel so much! Listening to your episodes while deep cleaning my house and it's the only thing getting me through this dust shit show
If someone asks for you to review their work but only wants a "positive" review, then they don't want a review or feedback. They want a compliment. As someone who reviews books often in exchange for advance digital copies, no one is owed an "all positive" review. Domi (I hope I'm spelling that correctly), you were polite and honest about your experiences and how the DM could improve in the future. And you gave them a 4 star review which is ABOVE decent. Honestly, if I read a review that said "yeah the first session was a bit rough but it got better and I had so much fun", I would be more willing to give the DM a chance as a potential player because I know that they listen and adjust their DMing to be more inclusive!!
editing to add: When it comes to reviews, they're not always meant entirely for the business but as a way to inform potential consumers. And like Mags' said, especially when money is involved (ESPECIALLY $25 PER SESSION), honest reviews for potential customers is so important.
You're not the asshole in any way here for leaving an honest and kind review or for rating 4 stars.
47:32 I have a potential diagnosis for “Bob”. I run D&D club at the library so I’ve seen this player type before. They seem to have no interest in the game but they don’t quit. They also seem really irritated and make remarks about the game like Bob about not knowing anything.
Almost all of these players I find take up D&D as a matter of identity, they like books, or games and consider themselves a nerd but then they just don’t like tabletop games. So they get caught hating the game but feeling guilty like they are betraying their identity. It sucks but the cure is they just have to figure it out for themselves that they probably would rather play Baldur’s gate or Skyrim
Third Story: While I agree that Bob doesn't know what he wants and needs to communicate that with the DM, from the sounds of it, he may think of D&D as little more than a combat simulator. If the DM involves him in fights, and realizes that he's much more into combat than anything else, then maybe that could be a focus for him; it doesn't sound like this is the table for him if that's the case, but maybe the DM can help him find a more combat-focused group to play with. If he is not active in combat either, then that means he isn't in it for combat, so he'd need to think about what it is that he plays D&D for, or what he wants to get out of the game.
I had command used on one of my charecters when my 3ft blue tabaxi jumped in front of the barbarian to take the hit ment for an NPC. We had a big blow out about that, turned out the player who cast it's charecter had a thing about free will, that caused a whole other discussion XD
Going off of the Command discussion, I totally understand the Rogue feeling a certain way. I have a very strong opinion that Enchantment Magic is the most evil school of magic within DnD (and any other media source that uses magic like that). There’s just something so morally wrong to me that the simplest magic (Cantrip: Friends, 1st level: Command) can be used to create your own narrative. Obviously the DM can draw the line but on a macro level, the world of DnD sees it’s normal to charm the guards to get the key, but the same spell can do so much harm within context.
- Certified Yapper
I hate to break it to you, but the vast majority of spells can do a tremendous deal of harm within context. Is it better to use Friends to get the guard to give you the key or should I prepare Firebolt and blow his brains out instead?
Fourth Story: I have to imagine that this story wouldn't have happened if the person had written the exact same review, but had left a five-star score. I don't think the DM even cared about what was said about them; they just want that perfect score to keep their cumulative score up, because it probably feeds some algorithm that puts them higher or lower on some ranking list that is used for finding DM's on whatever that website is. So OP is absolutely not the asshole here, and while the DM is a jerk for probably only fishing for good reviews, the real villain, as always, is capitalism and the need to rise to the top of some list for the sake of being able to make money.
As for the "missing one star" thing that Margaret brought up at around 1:06:20, OP was very clear, from how it sounds, for why they took that one star away, and that reason should have served as something the GM could review about their style of GMing for incoming new players and worked on. But rather than accepting that critique and learning from it, they saw it as a slight against them, despite it being something OP had made them aware of from the start of playing. So I don't think that's the case at all.
You guys should do a am I the horror story episode. Just glue all of the ones that are am I asshole that are actually horror stories into one.
Guilt tripping for positive reviews is crazy. Normally I wouldn't mind if I was just joining a game and the DM had a specific point at which they wanted to bring me in that didn't end up happening for most of the session (it's happened before and it's usually to make a cool, dramatic entrance). But if I'm PAYING PER SESSION you better drop me in almost immediately.
I think another thing to consider about the first AITA is the dynamic of both people (especially in a couple) casting spells on the Rogue specifically. It might've given them the impression that these 2 people were ganging up on them, and almost everyone tends to get a bit uncomfortable and defensive when they feel outnumbered and picked on.
The initial command spell from OP's partner seemed ok, it sounded like the Rogue took in stride, but starting the subsequent argument about which way he "dropped" & the spell from OP was an unnecessary escalation and would've definitely reinforced that kind of vibe.
That being said, if the Rogue wasn't participating with the rest of the party on certain things and didn't seem to enjoy what everyone else enjoyed, it does seem like it probably just wasn't the table for them. Plus, the fact OP is self aware enough to realise they may be in the wrong shows they're still a good person, just made a bad decision in the moment :)
That GM doesn’t deserve a 5 star review BECAUSE of how they reacted, I think it’s indicative of who they are. If that’s how they take feedback, that WILL present itself during games at some point.
They simply validated that they aren’t a 5
Different companies want the reviews for different purposes. Sometimes it's for corporate or shareholder signaling, sometimes it's a management tool to use against their staff, and even in circumstances where they allow for the review to be for the use of other consumers there are significant ways the review programs work. In much the same way that Google search has worsened, reviews as a consumer tool have worsened. I work for a company that asks for reviews but doesn't actually want reviews. Sometimes when you have negative feedback, it's better to take it to the party responsible first or to leave the negative feedback under the 5 star review so people reading can benefit from the feedback without the persons score dropping. At the end of the day though, if you paid for a product then it's your right to give your honest review.
I want to hear the dnd nightmare from the rogues perspective
I’d love to hear your reaction to a Call of Cthulhu game ❤
i dont fully agree with the first one, to me the rogue seemed to be very cocky nd annoying on purpose
32:03 can I get this as a sound bite?
Oi