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a person cheats because they want to. doesn't matter if you are a hard working and loving man or woman, if your partner wants to cheat, they will independent of what you do.
We can’t about everyone here, as they put it, you need to look at the set of values. That you have been attracted by the type of people that has the same set of values doesn’t mean everyone is that.
I think she’s saying they will have chances to cheat rather than they will cheat 100% and I think she’s reasonable in way coz as a spouse/partner we have to make effort to know more about the other person by communicating to avoid these kind of issues (of course vice versa)
Whether it's a man or a woman, anyone who is impulsive, entitled, novelty and validation seeking, lacks empathy and puts his/her needs first most of the time is more likely to cheat. They're just being themselves. If you can't accept who they are, leave.
There's a little more to it then that, I don't think you can reduce it to this. Sure there are types who are more likely to cheat, but they are also more prone to cheat if certain factors are at play, like if the relationship has gone stale, you don't have sex anymore or make time for intimacy of any form, you disrespect them either when you are together or you are around family /friends which is a big no no, or you just don't take care in your appearance anymore or you go through a period of depression/low self esteem and you knowingly or unknowingly neglect them. Life is complicated, but relationships must be maintained otherwise they will wither on the vine. Some of these things, whether you want them to or not, lead to a partner with unmet needs, or someone who doesn't feel valued or respected, eventually they may find these gaps elsewhere. They may be in the wrong for doing so, but you may have been part of the demise of the relationship simply by being passive and never paying attention to your partner as time has gone by.
@warriorofgod644 They are in a relationship to keep their partner as an option, something to fall back on, just in case all other dalliances go stale. Promiscuous people generally don't like intimacy and aren't in touch with their emotions. This is why their prefer casual sex to having sex with one committed partner.
I can't wait to tell my future husband " baby I cheated because I wanted to appease my needs elsewhere without bothering you but it doesn't mean I don't love you"😍😍😍
Only people with low self-esteem cheat. It’s scientifically proven. A person with confidence knows how to get what they want and have enough brain to speak to their partner and say “Look, I’m not happy.“ A loser who is scared of change and improvement always prefers to hide. End of sentence.
Statistics say that 70% of people cheat. Of course the number will be much higher as reality is different. Probably in high 90 ties. Though I have never read that 9 out of ten people have low self esteem.
Wrong. You telling me an attractive man with options has low self esteem? Strong males spread their seed. Even in other animals this is the case. Humans no different.
Cheater: I'm going to betray you, hurt you, embarrass you, and put you at risk of STI's all to satisfy myself. I will also blame you for my cheating by saying you didn't meet my needs (while I ignored your needs). But I still love you.
Men choose not to communicate that something is missing because a lot of times nothing is missing cause some of them just want something different. Plain and simple. Then there’s what she said
Women want something different too. I filed for divorce in two marriages I had, because I wanted “something new”. Men are always getting caught, women hide it better ;)
“It’s not that the cheating men don’t love their wives”……errrr……then I don’t want that cheap brand of “love”. Love is a choice just like cheating is a choice. And a guy who chooses to exert his energies into texting/calling/meeting another woman behind his wife-n-kid’s backs…..is actively (and repeatedly) choosing someone else over them….and that is not love. It’s funny how cheaters use the word “love” after getting caught. But-but-but-I love you. Well not enough if you were deliberately willing to risk it all before getting caught: why didn’t that same “love” stop you in your tracks? Hmm? All that mental and emotional energy you put into starting the affair…fueling it….hiding it….doing it again and again…………….ALL of that energy/time/money could have been used toward your wife.
Exactly, no woman wants to put up with this. Men are constantly talking themselves out of good women then blaming us for it, no accountability whatsoever.
0:33: 👥 Men can say they love you but still cheat due to unmet needs and a lack of communication. 3:18: 💑 The video discusses how becoming a mother can cause women to neglect their duties as a wife, and suggests that open communication and quality time can help prevent infidelity. 6:27: 💑 Honesty in a relationship creates emotional attunement and prevents infidelity. 9:35: 💑 The couple discusses the importance of trust and communication in their relationship, especially when it comes to discussing their sexual needs. 12:38: 🔍 Being emotionally and psychologically connected to your partner helps in recognizing any change in their behavior. Recap by Tammy AI
I love how Sadia is so real that even though she understands human nature very well, she owns she still have vices and room for personal growth herself. This was a really good discussion.
Love is caring about your partners well being. As she said, caring men won't cheat on their partner. You can't cheat and love your partner. It's one of the worst things you could do to another person. Ask any man and he'll tell you about it. Men lie to themselves and minimize their transgressions when they're the offending party.
A person cheating on you is NEVER your fault! The cheater always has their own reason for doing that and it is ENTIRELY their choice. It is interesting to know some of the reason to educate ourselves about these issues so that we can prevent it from happening in a healthy relationships. However, lt is entirely the cheater's choice that she/he decided to cheat on their partner. I also came across people ( players ) who are never satisfied with what they have so they go for one after the other thinking one is better than the other. It is an internal void they have but they go about testing many thinking the next one will be better! You always have a choice to decide what you can and cannot tolerate. Thank you
I don't believe it's NEVER the other spouse's fault. If the one spouse never gives the other person sex and/ or affection how can you expect them not to seek it elsewhere???!!!
@@galaxyglitterlatte4664 I understand. It is a very reasonable need a person can have. You can communicate with them about your need to your partner. If that need is reasonable and your partner has not respected it then you still have a choice of leaving them legally or choose to compromise and stay with them. If you choose to stay and have your need met outside then, you are still breaking your relationship but with more severe consequences. This can be for e.g you will have guilt, you have to hide things, the trust between you and your partner will be lost, and there is also another possibility of falling in love with your other person. This will inevitably lead to chaos. Instead you can communicate and decide to leave properly so you are free to choose and have what you want. This is what a matured and high value person would do. I would expect my partner to talk to me about his or her need rather than meeting their needs elsewhere. This would be extremely painful for me! This is my perspective. Thank you
@@nofybn7794 Guess what! Not everyone is willing to communicate!!!! I once had a good friend whose wife lost all interest in sex once she hit menopause. As far as she was concerned she was ok with going sexless for the rest of her life. How was that fair to him???!! It's BS!! He never cheated on her but he died at a relatively young age (62) and it's a shame he spent the last 10 years of his life not getting any. He was a great guy and didn't deserve that. I also was involved in a sexless relationship and we were in our twenties. He REFUSED to get help for his physical problem. He kept saying it would go away if we didn't talk about it. Well some people would rather bury their head in the sand and be in denial. So people shouldn't be shocked if their partners try to get their physical needs met somewhere else. Christ we are only human!!! I don't think I said it was OK to cheat but sometimes it's understandable why people do. Obviously you owe it to your partner to speak to them and let them know where you stand but that's not reality for a lot of couples. Verbal abuse is another problem. It can drive one partner into the arms of someone else. People can only take so much. If you treat someone like sh*t what do you expect??!!!!
I think your comment on values is on point as someone may develop a crush on someone during their marriage but their value system will determine what, if anything, becomes of that crush.
Communication is key. I remember I would check in with my ex husband to make sure we were okay or any issues that needed to be addressed and he would always say "no babe we are fine". Then, turned around and cheat and cheat and cheat
Sorry but being a cheater apologist and victim blaming will give a hall pass to men to cheat about and gaslight women for having their needs not being met. 90% of cheaters don’t do it out of need but a selfish want. Work on ur poor relationship or exit it and then go about sleeping with ppl. I matched up with a guy on a dating app and he later in admits to being married and has a perfect marriage of 8 years but he just went on the dating app for the thrill of it . I had to unmatch him. So nah for the first time I don’t agree with her
@@brandon-toddhutchinson3798 its not just my experience it's the countless men and women i've read, watched and heard talk about their cheating partners. Nobody deserves to be cheated on whether it's a guy or a girl. There are many people who choose not to cheat as well, I'm just saying nobody should be a cheater apologist.
@@miagilaani5853 You did say more than just that. You wrote a sizeable paragraph with multiple claims, and a demand/ultimatum. I was a little confused about how you arrived at "90% of cheaters" essentially being low ethic partners. There are other things that we don't necessarily agree on, but I'm more curious about the combination of so few sympathetic cheaters and so many unsympathetic cheaters. I'd assume people irl will characterize their exes as badly as friends and such are willing to believe, but it would make sense for that to decrease getting into adulthood and be a bit more balanced if you're looking at internet testimony where people can feel more at ease being honest -given you're looking for a balanced account and not just searching "worst cheater stories" and never looking up "my honest cheating story" or "my story as a cheater" or anything to that regard
I agree with the general sentiment. Cheating is horrible, no one should do it. If you’ve tried everything with your partner to mend the relationship before cheating has occurred and your partner won’t participate in trying to make things better, then you can leave your partner and not cheat…however, you are missing the whole point of this clip. It’s not to say that it’s not wrong for a man to cheat. It’s saying that the woman may have played a part in pushing him away and this conversation is how to interact with a presumably good man to make sure that he doesn’t feel the need to cheat. I don’t recall it saying anywhere to accept the act of cheating. Of course there are bad men who will sleep with as many women as they can get to say yes to them, but this conversation isn’t about them. Women also have needs that frequently don’t get met by their men and there are plenty of conversations about how men need to be more attuned to their wives, but this video is about how to meet men’s needs. One thing that this video doesn’t address is that men often will express their needs to their girlfriend or wife initially, but they’ll either get shut down or the woman will feel like she’s a failure in the relationship and start crying. The man quickly gets trained to not bring it up anymore and instead finds other ways to meet his needs without emotionally stressing himself or his wife. It usually starts with porn, but it can just as easily be the young pretty coworker who gives him the attention that his wife no longer gives.
Value system is the keyword. All men are tempted to cheat. The only thing that’s stops me is hard discipline due to my love for God and the person I’m with. Sexual temptation is man’s greatest battle in life
Every person is tempted to cheat even women. Opportunities are always available. Some just don't because of their value and thinking realistically in regards to weighing between fantasy/short term self satisfaction vs long term risks and consequences. To me, my family and my children's well being is more important than my own desires. Keep fantasy as fantasy and reality as reality not enacting on it. People who cheat are no happier with their new relationship. Many if them just become a serial divorcee afterward and tarnishing their reputation, losing their family, finances, properties, and other hard earned accumulations. They put their health at risk with std and their partner and destroy their children emotionally. Watching someone crash their life is like watching a drunk getting inside a car and driving. Certainly don't want to go the same route as they do.
Why is cheating so tempting? That just sounds ridiculous out loud. If you love your wife & you're actually in love, how is cheating so tempting? In my opinion, it sounds like if cheating is so tempting, you must not really be in love all that much. Because a truly in-love man has no problem adhering to faithfulness & doesn't feel tempted to engage with other women if he's already with the woman he adores. Temptation sounds stupid & for men who don't actually love their wife.
Men need to learn how to communicate or lose relationships. It's called maturity. Men who cant comprehend the new baby is a priority is a them problem. Such a joke.
So now, basically, cheating on a woman which causes devastating life altering experience is now called outsourcing because he has “needs“ his needs are food, water shelter, sleep, oxygen, his “needs“ are not needs. They are self-absorbed, selfish, not mandatory desires…. Can a woman go out and say sorry honey I cheated on you because I needed a Chanel bag. I just needed to have the Chanel bag so I stepped out and outsourced.🤦♀️😒😏🙄🙄🙄
@@shabazz360 uuumm noooo …you haven’t heard anything with that complete lack of cognitive skills what a ridiculous interpretation…if he’s with a woman and they’re in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP why is he going elsewhere for sex? Duh🙄🙄🙄 no one said he can’t have sex with his wife or girlfriend 🤦♀️🤦♀️ I was saying it’s about as ridiculous to saying if she’s not getting her “need” of Chanel bag from her man she can “outsource” okay now you’ve officially heard it all if you can comprehend it
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
If it’s not meant to be, don’t force it. Let God bring you the right person who will appreciate u…not leave u in pain. Imagine having a child with someone who could just drop you like this?😬🙏🏻
I agree on the last bit. My expartner's behavour really changed to worst towards me. He started me to make me feel smaller, stupid, made me feel I am jealous for no reason. Just colder. But at the same time he was calling me how much he loves me when he got drunk. Later he did admit he had an affair with his female friend.
More often than not there's cheating going on.. I notice a change of behavior EVERY SINGLE time my partner is cheating.. so I can't help but be accusatory..
She broke this down so well and it makes sense, it doesn't make it right but I have a better understanding of why a man will cheat. I also feel like people, male or female need to just be honest with one another and also practice self control as well.
women have needs too, but if she's busy enough with their house/home/family to overlook that need, while her husband isn't, then you know he did not fulfill his duty as a husband and father, and nothing will be a good enough excuse for his infidelity.
Good discussion . Overall , cheating is just too much drama & chaos . That’s why at some weddings the couple steps on a glass & breaks it , one action- one word can destroy a relationship, you can glue it back together but it will never be the same
She almost give all the excuses for the man’s cheating,unbelievable. If the man’s will be more helpful around their own kids most probably the wife will have more time for him. The kids are not only the responsibility of the mother the father should be there as well…
No. She's trying to help women get inside a man's head so they know what they are up against. And I totally agree with her. His personal values determine his decision making and what kind of a person he will choose to become. The same with women- why some are promiscuous and hold no family values. One just need to be wiser when picking their partner so it aligns similar with their beliefs. Both groups have their good and bad.
Yeah that’s the point. Women are used to not always having their needs met and will Put up with men. When the role is reversed, men choose to take the easy way out. Pathetic excuse.
No, this is not true. To Love means to take someones best interests as a part of your own best interests. If someone cheats, the person do not love you. You see this through action. Not through feelings. Love is a choice.
I think the definition of love is subjective to every person. Your definition of love could be different from what love is to your partner. For some men, love could be someone you want to share your resources with, provide for them and protect them, but being faithful may not be one of them which isn’t a good excuse at all but that’s what I’ve heard. Sex is a dangerous drug for a lot of us men especially with pornography. I personally know some women who suffer the same issue who are sex addicts and fear commitment because it takes away their sexual freedom and they can end up cheating. Infidelity has no sex or gender, it comes down to choice no matter what the reason is.
Women don't understand how much we value feeling desired. That's what men usually seek elsewhere. The feeling of been seen, heard, understood. Men don't like asking for any of these things , it'll make us look weak, needy, desperate.
@@villaespesa1 I’m not sure I understand what you mean by “the difference is that men are rarely expected to initiate always”… that men are not expected to be vulnerable? Yes I would agree that it is considered to be a “weakness” in men, especially to other men.
@@sarahalderman3126 I meant to say men are always expected to initiate, be the romantic and seducers. But then how would we know if we are truly desired if women don't also initiate, at least once in a while? That's the issue I see from couples I know .
@@villaespesa1 ahh, yes I do agree. Though from my personal perspective I think its more that we differ in what we see as “initiating”. To myself engaging my husband in any kind of communication is in fact initiating… to me. Whenever I reach out in any way I am in fact attempting to initiate intimacy. When a woman complains, cries, tells a story, asks a question, or in any way tries to draw your attention it IS her attempting to “initiate”. We do this because we need to connect emotionally in order to desire sex, so we attempt to connect emotionally because we want to be sexual with you, it is the first step in sexual attraction/affection for a woman. I do grasp, now, that to men these bids for emotional intimacy have nothing to do with sex. But for women this IS how we initiate sex.
Je crois vraiment que les généralités à propos de ce genre de ces sujets ne sont pas conseillés. Tout dépend du contexte,de la situation actuelle de la relation,de comment il se sent et se comporte le partenaire,des vraies intentions de l'homme qui trahit sa femme. Tout dépend du contexte qui diffère de chaque cas,couple, situation. Généraliser non ! La trahison est douloureuse pour celui qui la subi et assumer ou pas reste un pure choix très personnel qui dépends de la profonde volonté de la personne et ses valeurs les plus importantes
If you go to the other channel that posted this interview, you will see many women arguing in the comment section that male psychology is wrong. It’s very interesting. What’s offered here is an explanation of male psychology, not the justification of it. Women can use this knowledge to their advantage. Yet almost all comments under the other video choose to argue why male psychology is wrong, completely missing the point that what’s offered here is insight about male psychology, not whether it’s right or wrong.
That's because they're thinking emotionally rather than logically and rationally. Now, why are they choosing to react emotionally? Because they're women and because the comments consist of mostly women who have been cheated on in the past and have not moved on/healed. They're still stuck. The women think they're being blamed for not tolerating the cheater & think they have to relax and take it in the future with other men as well so their knee jerk reaction is to act impulsively, primitively and "attack" the "perps" by saying there's something wrong with THEM (or even this woman) throwing critical thinking, logic and rationality out the window. In all honesty, a lot of them should stop pointing fingers at men and start doing some therapy or inner work bc at the end of the day, they chose to be in a relationship, marry and even have kids with the wrong man. In most cases, signs are there that the relationship is doomed.
Wish my mother had given me the cold hard truth about men and marriage when I was growing up. I was in lala land, romanticized fidelity and true love no matter the circumstances (he'd wait for me forever) . It is the stuff of movies but women latch on to it and pay a big price when reality hits. The mental torture for the victim is a life sentence and not easily resolved, if ever - why would you do that to someone you once loved.
Yes, I agree this is certainly how infidelity occurs in marriage. Tbh I wish I had learned this BEFORE deciding to get married or have children. Our society, prior generations have actually intentionally lied to us about everything related to relationships and “love”. Had I known this about my husband I would have never married him nor had children with him. Unfortunately the truth did not come out until our 3rd child was born! That’s the main problem here is that men LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING!! I would NEVER have married a man who did not really “love” me. Let’s be real here a man who is even THINKING about another woman does not love his wife. If he did “love” her he would not even want to think about anyone else. Once they make the conscious DECISION to choose someone else the relationship is over. For those of us already stuck in a in a unfaithful marriage this is all quite obvious imo. I can recall all the signs of his infidelity, I could actually FEEL it all along. I tried connecting. I was actually the one missing sex the most due to his infidelity. But he had no interest in me because he married a woman who is nothing like what he has taught himself to want. Porn has essentially destroyed any chance of a committed relationship.
@@villaespesa1 yeah, it sucks to be deceived. It seems to me that our society would be better served to acknowledge and accept the differences between men and women. Learning these fundamental differences between us has been quite groundbreaking for myself. All my life I have heard the whole men and women are exactly the same. That we have similar goals, desires, and aspirations. But in an effort towards equality we have actually just lied to multiple generations of women about both themselves and men. So many young women are brought up on this fantasy of “true love” or romantic love, the disney fairytale. Which is starkly contrast actual fairytales of the past, which did acknowledge the savage or barbaric nature of life on earth. But my generation and those that followed we taught that this sort of fantasy existed and that it was to be expected for every one of us. It seems that men understand this to be a fantasy very early on, whereas women in my experience do “see” the contradictions but often choose to believe in the “potential”. Often not waking up to reality until their children have grown. Which is why we see so many divorces right around 15-25 years of marriage. It is exactly then that women finally grasp that romantic “love” is a lie, it is nothing more than a fantasy. Realizing and accepting that you gave away your “only” value as a woman, for a “lie” is devastating and sobering. I for one certainly hope that our society returns to a place of truth and reality. I would love to see both men and women acknowledging these fundamental differences between men and women, arming both with the tools and information to make thoughtful and effective choices in this life.
@sarahalderman3126 Men and women are very different. If we weren't, there wouldn't be polarities between the sexes. That's a key component of attraction. But in 3 areas, both genders are the same. We all want to be seen, heard, and understood. Those are universal human needs. If we all understood this deeply, all relationships would benefit greatly.
@@villaespesa1 I agree that we all have the same human needs, however I do believe we experience them differently. We may be using the same words but often mean something quite different.
@sarahalderman3126 Yeah, it varies by degree. Take sex for 1 example. Men always want more than women, even past 65, 70 years of age. Women want it less. But it doesn't mean they don't want it too.the difference is the degree. Communication is another example. Women want more on average. But we all want it. Men are more about doing. This is why we be walking around, using our hands a lot when communicating. That drives Women nuts. Lol . But that's because it is not natural for us to sit down, sipping on tea while opening our hearts . We all communicate ,but HOW we do it is different.
Sexual desire has very little to do with love. Men are visual creatures, and the reality is that if a man no longer fancies his partner like he previously did, he's either going to cheat on her or he's going to fantasize about women who he finds more desirable. If you see a Lamborghini in a car park, you won't be looking at the Ford that's parked next to it. If you're driving in a rural area with flat farmland to the left and a mountain to the right, you won't be looking at the farm. It's human nature to look at and desire something or somebody that stands out from normality. I've worked as a personal trainer for a long time, and it's sad to see so many people that fail to look after themselves by abusing their bodies with a shit diet and lack any type of exercise related structure within their lifestyle. Health is the most important factor in life, both physically and mentally. If people look after themselves then they will remain attractive to their partners, and the likelihood is that their partners will be less likely to stray.
I was never told that men have needs.. grew up with only girls house of 4 girls.. if men never tell you, you can never know. And if they never try to make room and take the child and chores sometimes.. its their own fault that they don’t get sex. They can’t ask something, they Dont make room for themselves… and I dont get anything in return ever.. glad I Found a new real man with open communication
My experience is that when a woman consciously works to *not* have kids, as she has, she reverts to childhood antics in middle age (where she is). This is followed by a 'spiritual' stage in (still-childless) old age. (And yes, there are male analogs to the female versions of this.)
So don’t have kids and don’t marry a dishonest man? We all should be marrying honest ppl but sadly that’s not reality. Too many factors come into play! Side note: love this clip! Everything was on point and clearly articulated. Thanks for sharing! Edit: I should’ve said “don’t marry and have kids with dishonest ppl.”
You don't typically know who's dishonest until after getting with them. In many cases, you don't know a man is dishonest until after marriage or having kids. Parenthood & marriage often reveal entirely new sides of men that women didn't know existed prior.
Yes, I agree this is certainly how infidelity occurs in marriage. Tbh I wish I had learned this BEFORE deciding to get married or have children. Our society actually intentionally lies to us about everything.
I Will never lower My standardsvar to What My ex husband did to me, he never gave anything in return. Never. Was always off making other girls laugh.. I was never his priority - never. Cant believe I lived with him for so long.. damn, Will never settle again ever!!!
I remember hearing a psychologist speak about men cheating on their wives with their first love or that girlfriend that he didn’t give a second chance with because emotionally his heart was hers the whole time. And these men got married, had children, photo albums of so many memories with their wives but it didn’t matter because they were emotionally in love with the past girlfriend the whole time. I believe men tell themselves it doesn’t mean anything
I fucking love the way sadia interprets it and represents us with “in their world thats how they see it” oh boy it feels nice to be seen as a man.. its like men do all these things to try and understand women but when a women like sadia tells you your own male behaviors its like🤯🤯🤯
Dearest Sadie am Don in Louisiana USA! When I was married I completely desired too be one mind, and spirit ! But the other rejected and fell away, it just broke my heart! How do you move on and trust again ??
A person's moral compass or its lack, determines his/her behaviour, not the partner's availability. Where it seems like it does, the person in question is a liar and infidel, because a true man of faith never strays off, even when the opportunity arises. He has a reliable character to stand his ground instead of shaking it to destroy the very foundations of his marriage to his partner. He does not become a child by misbehaveing and cheating to get attention. He helps the wife with kids to spare her some couple time too as it's the wife who needs to be taken care of after bearing and raising kids. He waits for her and respects her for her devotion to his children. Only a man who is not honest to face his own truths, lies or cheats and is not worth a dime.
I personally trust in myself, in doing so, I don't need anything outside of myself to be complete or comforted. Sex is a enjoyable intimate act of kindness. I learned how to love from my mother, it started at home. I was allowed to accept myself, imperfections, emotions and all. I communicate a lot at 16 yrs old, in the same loving environment. I never cheated in my life, I have nothing needing fulfillment. Sorry this happened to anyone, and thank you Mom for your LOVE.❤️😀 it's okay to be ME without needing validation of who truly "Am I, I will never find in another.
in my church one of our beloved trusted ministers used to have men classes and a separate one for women. on relationships. now we were all sworn to secrecy and we respected that. so I do not know what the men were told or taught. I do know what women were told to do and to remember; one, that men need to be remembered once you have a child, you can't just cater to the child and forget your husband. very important. two, to "sandwich" criticisms. "compliment, then say what you want to, then add another compliment" to allow his being able to take it. men need our RESPECT *(I learned this from John Gray EXCELLENT teacher on relationships as well) and women need ADORATION. so.....do what you will. women do need to get back to valuing the home and serving a beautiful dinner, making him feel important and taking care of the kids, etc., while he brings home the bacon, so to speak. but...........that's what I want to see happen. nowadays most do not marry and so it's a free for all with no commitments really and no God in the home, so I guess that is where it starts. no spiritual foundation in the home and a true lack of respect for God and lots of immorality to go around. this is why our Country is tanking...........
If you are with a real man he will understand that the wife is tired and a real man will help his wife. This statement I'd a bit sexist with gender role. It is 50 /50 in a marrige
I just found out that my husband spent a lot of time searching the names of girls 20 and under on Facebook, within the past couple months. He will be 48 in a few months. Gross.
While it sounds nice in theory, sometimes men just get tired of the same cereal day after day after day... They want all the comforts of home with someone new & exciting on the side.
As a man in his mid 30s I 100% agree with sister Sadia, everything she says is spot on, i recommend to girls to plan a date night, every couple weeks, worst case once a month, rent a room/hotel for couple days, leave the kids with grandma, be passionate, make love, keep the spark , go for dinner before the hotel fun with your spouse. This is what i tell my lady, date night focused just on us.
As a man in his 40s I don't agree with reason for cheating. TH-cam is flooded with channels of justified cheating for males but not women. I totally disagree
The man should be planning the date nights. She can hire the sitter, but he should be making the hotel reservations, asking her on the date, and making the restaurant reservations, buying tickets, etc
Your partner shouldn't have to entertain you prevent cheating. You shouldn't cheat because you love your partner and would never what to destroy the life you've made together. If you need spice to stay faithful you're a mess of a human. Nothing wrong with keeping things spicy, just the lack of it is a sorry excuse to betray your life partner. Very childish.
@@gyver471 it’s never ok it’s not even ok for the person cheating/outsourcing even if they don’t get caught bc then they have to live with the fact they lack integrity and can’t control themselves to be a good honest person to ppl they have agreements with
Is she actually a psychologist?because I heard in an interview she said she “studied” psychology which anyone can do but said she was actually a teacher of children so I’m not sure she has a psychology degree and then she said they made her sad so she started just doing psychology type tips on Instagram or something like that and it escalated I don’t know if she’s an actual psychologist with a doctorate degree does anyone have the answer to this question? In this interview the first thing the interviewer said was, you are psychologist and she answered yes but that doesn’t coincide with what she said in another interview and also someone else was also questioning her credentials. I think it was someone with a degree or some thing, and all she did was smear that person’s credentials, and didn’t mention anything of her own, I think her advice is great most of the time I really like her but sometimes it seems way off and maybe not some thing based on main stream psychology so I’m very confused is she or isn’t she?
Pornography is cheating. Say you are at a beach or what not and you see a woman in a bikini. A man looks her way. Now when he doesn’t watch pornography I think yes he did look at her. But I don’t think he looks at her in a sexual way. He just notices her. I think that goes both ways as well. As a woman notices a man at the beach. But if either or watches pornography. I think there perception is different.
You're going to be dumbstruck if you ever care enough to learn about male (vs. female) sexuality. While extremely unpleasant, I do think if you want to grow as a person, you should educate yourself. Coming from someone who's a chronic "self-educator" as I assume I don't have the best understanding on even the things I'm confident in
Say it again if you find a man to tell you the truth you’ll creat a connection without infidelity and hopefully she’ll be the same being honest for both to have a healthy respectful relationship❤
@@sadiapsychologyI will have to disagree with you on this. What man do you know openly admits cheating? They also play the victim. We all know a man who endlessly complained about his wife/girlfriend setting up the grounds for justification to what he’s doing. Either way my initial comment was in regards to your answer to why men cheat. I believe women can love someone also not have their needs met and get them met through someone else. How both sexes respond to being caught cheating is really the same in the end! It’s not like men own their behavior.
Cheating is not an accident it’s something people do on purpose and it seems as though she’s trying to diminish the accountability that goes into somebody doing something that is so sneaky, malicious and disingenuous to tell somebody they love them better going behind their back and cheating on them that is not love. When you truly love somebody, you do not want to hurt them despite even if your needs of having your d*ck pleaded isn’t being met. That’s a selfish need lady.
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❤ am honest your voice so beautiful 😍 my hurt omg
Hi! I don't wanna be in it debate because Answer will be painful based on reality
Forget it I'm not Answering that now bye
I thought you are onlyfans model and I still don't understand why you are not on onlyfans.
a person cheats because they want to. doesn't matter if you are a hard working and loving man or woman, if your partner wants to cheat, they will independent of what you do.
We can’t about everyone here, as they put it, you need to look at the set of values. That you have been attracted by the type of people that has the same set of values doesn’t mean everyone is that.
I think she’s saying they will have chances to cheat rather than they will cheat 100% and I think she’s reasonable in way coz as a spouse/partner we have to make effort to know more about the other person by communicating to avoid these kind of issues (of course vice versa)
in terms of men u can't make a man who wants to cheat not cheat but u can push a man who wouldn't normally cheat (even tho he'd want) into cheating
Wrong, men and women are different. Therefore the way we go about sexuality is different.
Whether it's a man or a woman, anyone who is impulsive, entitled, novelty and validation seeking, lacks empathy and puts his/her needs first most of the time is more likely to cheat. They're just being themselves. If you can't accept who they are, leave.
There's a little more to it then that, I don't think you can reduce it to this. Sure there are types who are more likely to cheat, but they are also more prone to cheat if certain factors are at play, like if the relationship has gone stale, you don't have sex anymore or make time for intimacy of any form, you disrespect them either when you are together or you are around family /friends which is a big no no, or you just don't take care in your appearance anymore or you go through a period of depression/low self esteem and you knowingly or unknowingly neglect them. Life is complicated, but relationships must be maintained otherwise they will wither on the vine.
Some of these things, whether you want them to or not, lead to a partner with unmet needs, or someone who doesn't feel valued or respected, eventually they may find these gaps elsewhere. They may be in the wrong for doing so, but you may have been part of the demise of the relationship simply by being passive and never paying attention to your partner as time has gone by.
@@nate9198 Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree. In this case, cheating is a maladaptive coping mechanism.
@warriorofgod644 They are in a relationship to keep their partner as an option, something to fall back on, just in case all other dalliances go stale. Promiscuous people generally don't like intimacy and aren't in touch with their emotions. This is why their prefer casual sex to having sex with one committed partner.
@v9b23j … FACTS 🙌!!!!
That’s called a narcissist
I can't wait to tell my future husband " baby I cheated because I wanted to appease my needs elsewhere without bothering you but it doesn't mean I don't love you"😍😍😍
😂😂😂💯💯💯 surely he will understand COMPLETELY
it makes sense in their world right?😅
Yes go girl 😂❤
I know such a nonsense she is saying.
You do know they're talking about men cheating, right? 😂
Only people with low self-esteem cheat. It’s scientifically proven. A person with confidence knows how to get what they want and have enough brain to speak to their partner and say “Look, I’m not happy.“
A loser who is scared of change and improvement always prefers to hide. End of sentence.
Exactly
Statistics say that 70% of people cheat. Of course the number will be much higher as reality is different. Probably in high 90 ties. Though I have never read that 9 out of ten people have low self esteem.
This
Wrong. You telling me an attractive man with options has low self esteem? Strong males spread their seed. Even in other animals this is the case. Humans no different.
Wrong. Men with high esteem have the occasional option.
Someone said, "don't trust a man, instead, trust yourself"....I agree.
Interesting 🤔
lol, women also cheat, don’t talk from your damaged heart
Trust a man to be a man. Why is it that we accept women for who they are but men no they are broken?
Just because she is right about this doesn't mean men should feel less guilty about cheating.
we dont we never will
and i will never cheat its a characteristic its not the situation
@@Forify.Globalwell said
Men need to mature hey
It’s time women cheat as well. We’re all equal… if men get their attention elsewhere women should do the same . Bye 👋
I don’t think she’s encouraging cheating either
Cheater: I'm going to betray you, hurt you, embarrass you, and put you at risk of STI's all to satisfy myself. I will also blame you for my cheating by saying you didn't meet my needs (while I ignored your needs). But I still love you.
Exactly 😂👍🏻
Saying I love you means NOTHING!! Where is this Love?? ACTIONS!!!
Men choose not to communicate that something is missing because a lot of times nothing is missing cause some of them just want something different. Plain and simple. Then there’s what she said
Agreed
Realest comment 💯
Women want something different too. I filed for divorce in two marriages I had, because I wanted “something new”. Men are always getting caught, women hide it better ;)
@@katiajordan_good for you, men don’t deserve the women they call “good”.
@@katiajordan_ something different? You mean u got bored with both of your ex-husbands?
“It’s not that the cheating men don’t love their wives”……errrr……then I don’t want that cheap brand of “love”. Love is a choice just like cheating is a choice.
And a guy who chooses to exert his energies into texting/calling/meeting another woman behind his wife-n-kid’s backs…..is actively (and repeatedly) choosing someone else over them….and that is not love.
It’s funny how cheaters use the word “love” after getting caught. But-but-but-I love you. Well not enough if you were deliberately willing to risk it all before getting caught: why didn’t that same “love” stop you in your tracks? Hmm?
All that mental and emotional energy you put into starting the affair…fueling it….hiding it….doing it again and again…………….ALL of that energy/time/money could have been used toward your wife.
Exactly, no woman wants to put up with this. Men are constantly talking themselves out of good women then blaming us for it, no accountability whatsoever.
0:33: 👥 Men can say they love you but still cheat due to unmet needs and a lack of communication.
3:18: 💑 The video discusses how becoming a mother can cause women to neglect their duties as a wife, and suggests that open communication and quality time can help prevent infidelity.
6:27: 💑 Honesty in a relationship creates emotional attunement and prevents infidelity.
9:35: 💑 The couple discusses the importance of trust and communication in their relationship, especially when it comes to discussing their sexual needs.
12:38: 🔍 Being emotionally and psychologically connected to your partner helps in recognizing any change in their behavior.
Recap by Tammy AI
Thanks!
Sounds too good that need a mature couple BUT usually men don't talk about their needs so majority of relationships will continue the same
I love how Sadia is so real that even though she understands human nature very well, she owns she still have vices and room for personal growth herself. This was a really good discussion.
I. Don't. Care. That is not love.
Love is caring about your partners well being. As she said, caring men won't cheat on their partner. You can't cheat and love your partner. It's one of the worst things you could do to another person. Ask any man and he'll tell you about it. Men lie to themselves and minimize their transgressions when they're the offending party.
True words were never been spoken. All fun and games for them until they drink the same poison.
A person cheating on you is NEVER your fault! The cheater always has their own reason for doing that and it is ENTIRELY their choice. It is interesting to know some of the reason to educate ourselves about these issues so that we can prevent it from happening in a healthy relationships. However, lt is entirely the cheater's choice that she/he decided to cheat on their partner. I also came across people ( players ) who are never satisfied with what they have so they go for one after the other thinking one is better than the other. It is an internal void they have but they go about testing many thinking the next one will be better!
You always have a choice to decide what you can and cannot tolerate.
Thank you
I don't believe it's NEVER the other spouse's fault. If the one spouse never gives the other person sex and/ or affection how can you expect them not to seek it elsewhere???!!!
@@galaxyglitterlatte4664
I understand. It is a very reasonable need a person can have. You can communicate with them about your need to your partner. If that need is reasonable and your partner has not respected it then you still have a choice of leaving them legally or choose to compromise and stay with them. If you choose to stay and have your need met outside then, you are still breaking your relationship but with more severe consequences. This can be for e.g you will have guilt, you have to hide things, the trust between you and your partner will be lost, and there is also another possibility of falling in love with your other person. This will inevitably lead to chaos. Instead you can communicate and decide to leave properly so you are free to choose and have what you want. This is what a matured and high value person would do. I would expect my partner to talk to me about his or her need rather than meeting their needs elsewhere. This would be extremely painful for me! This is my perspective.
Thank you
@@galaxyglitterlatte4664 I don't agree. It is NOT OKAY TO CHEAT. PERIOD. You TALK!
@@nofybn7794 Guess what! Not everyone is willing to communicate!!!! I once had a good friend whose wife lost all interest in sex once she hit menopause. As far as she was concerned she was ok with going sexless for the rest of her life. How was that fair to him???!! It's BS!! He never cheated on her but he died at a relatively young age (62) and it's a shame he spent the last 10 years of his life not getting any. He was a great guy and didn't deserve that. I also was involved in a sexless relationship and we were in our twenties. He REFUSED to get help for his physical problem. He kept saying it would go away if we didn't talk about it. Well some people would rather bury their head in the sand and be in denial. So people shouldn't be shocked if their partners try to get their physical needs met somewhere else. Christ we are only human!!! I don't think I said it was OK to cheat but sometimes it's understandable why people do. Obviously you owe it to your partner to speak to them and let them know where you stand but that's not reality for a lot of couples. Verbal abuse is another problem. It can drive one partner into the arms of someone else. People can only take so much. If you treat someone like sh*t what do you expect??!!!!
@@galaxyglitterlatte4664 well they can talk about the problem, and if nothing gets solved they can leave. They don’t have to become cheaters.
I think your comment on values is on point as someone may develop a crush on someone during their marriage but their value system will determine what, if anything, becomes of that crush.
Communication is key. I remember I would check in with my ex husband to make sure we were okay or any issues that needed to be addressed and he would always say "no babe we are fine". Then, turned around and cheat and cheat and cheat
Same here
Same here. I even tried to give him sex when he wanted
Yeah lie to themselves lie to us such injustice
Yep.
Because it was never about you or your relationship. It was always about him and his impulsive behavior.
Sorry but being a cheater apologist and victim blaming will give a hall pass to men to cheat about and gaslight women for having their needs not being met. 90% of cheaters don’t do it out of need but a selfish want. Work on ur poor relationship or exit it and then go about sleeping with ppl. I matched up with a guy on a dating app and he later in admits to being married and has a perfect marriage of 8 years but he just went on the dating app for the thrill of it . I had to unmatch him. So nah for the first time I don’t agree with her
Is what you're saying based on personal experience, studies you've read, or studies you've done?
@@brandon-toddhutchinson3798 its not just my experience it's the countless men and women i've read, watched and heard talk about their cheating partners. Nobody deserves to be cheated on whether it's a guy or a girl. There are many people who choose not to cheat as well, I'm just saying nobody should be a cheater apologist.
@@miagilaani5853 You did say more than just that. You wrote a sizeable paragraph with multiple claims, and a demand/ultimatum.
I was a little confused about how you arrived at "90% of cheaters" essentially being low ethic partners. There are other things that we don't necessarily agree on, but I'm more curious about the combination of so few sympathetic cheaters and so many unsympathetic cheaters.
I'd assume people irl will characterize their exes as badly as friends and such are willing to believe, but it would make sense for that to decrease getting into adulthood and be a bit more balanced if you're looking at internet testimony where people can feel more at ease being honest -given you're looking for a balanced account and not just searching "worst cheater stories" and never looking up "my honest cheating story" or "my story as a cheater" or anything to that regard
I agree with the general sentiment. Cheating is horrible, no one should do it. If you’ve tried everything with your partner to mend the relationship before cheating has occurred and your partner won’t participate in trying to make things better, then you can leave your partner and not cheat…however, you are missing the whole point of this clip. It’s not to say that it’s not wrong for a man to cheat. It’s saying that the woman may have played a part in pushing him away and this conversation is how to interact with a presumably good man to make sure that he doesn’t feel the need to cheat. I don’t recall it saying anywhere to accept the act of cheating.
Of course there are bad men who will sleep with as many women as they can get to say yes to them, but this conversation isn’t about them. Women also have needs that frequently don’t get met by their men and there are plenty of conversations about how men need to be more attuned to their wives, but this video is about how to meet men’s needs.
One thing that this video doesn’t address is that men often will express their needs to their girlfriend or wife initially, but they’ll either get shut down or the woman will feel like she’s a failure in the relationship and start crying. The man quickly gets trained to not bring it up anymore and instead finds other ways to meet his needs without emotionally stressing himself or his wife. It usually starts with porn, but it can just as easily be the young pretty coworker who gives him the attention that his wife no longer gives.
Good for you for choosing not to date a married man. Too many women (and men too) know full well a person is married and yet don't care.
Value system is the keyword. All men are tempted to cheat. The only thing that’s stops me is hard discipline due to my love for God and the person I’m with. Sexual temptation is man’s greatest battle in life
Lol it's not a men thing it's a human thing.
What an ass excuse
Definitely one of the greatest battles!
Every person is tempted to cheat even women. Opportunities are always available. Some just don't because of their value and thinking realistically in regards to weighing between fantasy/short term self satisfaction vs long term risks and consequences. To me, my family and my children's well being is more important than my own desires. Keep fantasy as fantasy and reality as reality not enacting on it. People who cheat are no happier with their new relationship. Many if them just become a serial divorcee afterward and tarnishing their reputation, losing their family, finances, properties, and other hard earned accumulations. They put their health at risk with std and their partner and destroy their children emotionally. Watching someone crash their life is like watching a drunk getting inside a car and driving. Certainly don't want to go the same route as they do.
Why is cheating so tempting? That just sounds ridiculous out loud. If you love your wife & you're actually in love, how is cheating so tempting? In my opinion, it sounds like if cheating is so tempting, you must not really be in love all that much. Because a truly in-love man has no problem adhering to faithfulness & doesn't feel tempted to engage with other women if he's already with the woman he adores. Temptation sounds stupid & for men who don't actually love their wife.
Men need to learn how to communicate or lose relationships. It's called maturity. Men who cant comprehend the new baby is a priority is a them problem. Such a joke.
Yeah but they make the new baby a priority for life while still expecting him to pay bills solve problems and protect life it’s not a fair trade.
Lose relationships, women want relationships in the long run 😂
So now, basically, cheating on a woman which causes devastating life altering experience is now called outsourcing because he has “needs“ his needs are food, water shelter, sleep, oxygen, his “needs“ are not needs. They are self-absorbed, selfish, not mandatory desires…. Can a woman go out and say sorry honey I cheated on you because I needed a Chanel bag. I just needed to have the Chanel bag so I stepped out and outsourced.🤦♀️😒😏🙄🙄🙄
🙌🏻
💯 exactly
So you’re saying having sex is not a human need for a male and you compared it to a Chanel bag. Yea. I’ve officially heard it all.
@@shabazz360 uuumm noooo …you haven’t heard anything with that complete lack of cognitive skills what a ridiculous interpretation…if he’s with a woman and they’re in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP why is he going elsewhere for sex? Duh🙄🙄🙄 no one said he can’t have sex with his wife or girlfriend 🤦♀️🤦♀️ I was saying it’s about as ridiculous to saying if she’s not getting her “need” of Chanel bag from her man she can “outsource” okay now you’ve officially heard it all if you can comprehend it
Men and women are not the same. Women do not get hurt when men do physical cheating and not emotional cheating
Well done to both, I love these honest discussions! Sadia just speaks the truth and both men and women need to listen to this advice! ❤
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is *Victoria Lee hess*, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
If it’s not meant to be, don’t force it. Let God bring you the right person who will appreciate u…not leave u in pain. Imagine having a child with someone who could just drop you like this?😬🙏🏻
I agree on the last bit. My expartner's behavour really changed to worst towards me. He started me to make me feel smaller, stupid, made me feel I am jealous for no reason. Just colder. But at the same time he was calling me how much he loves me when he got drunk. Later he did admit he had an affair with his female friend.
love this channel for sharing honest opinion
I love you both and this is a great interview
More often than not there's cheating going on.. I notice a change of behavior EVERY SINGLE time my partner is cheating.. so I can't help but be accusatory..
She broke this down so well and it makes sense, it doesn't make it right but I have a better understanding of why a man will cheat. I also feel like people, male or female need to just be honest with one another and also practice self control as well.
They cheat because they have low self esteem.
@@Burrburrcloud Very True!
Thank you Lisa❤!!. This episode touched me immensely, l get it
women have needs too, but if she's busy enough with their house/home/family to overlook that need, while her husband isn't, then you know he did not fulfill his duty as a husband and father, and nothing will be a good enough excuse for his infidelity.
Good discussion . Overall , cheating is just too much drama & chaos . That’s why at some weddings the couple steps on a glass & breaks it , one action- one word can destroy a relationship, you can glue it back together but it will never be the same
Wow love that!
EXACTLY!
She almost give all the excuses for the man’s cheating,unbelievable.
If the man’s will be more helpful around their own kids most probably the wife will have more time for him.
The kids are not only the responsibility of the mother the father should be there as well…
So is it acceptable if a man ignores all a womans needs and wants? Is that ok?
says all the Amish ladies, where the divorce rate is at zero.
There are studies that men that do traditional female roles in the house get less sex.
No. She's trying to help women get inside a man's head so they know what they are up against. And I totally agree with her. His personal values determine his decision making and what kind of a person he will choose to become. The same with women- why some are promiscuous and hold no family values. One just need to be wiser when picking their partner so it aligns similar with their beliefs. Both groups have their good and bad.
Yeah that’s the point. Women are used to not always having their needs met and will
Put up with men. When the role is reversed, men choose to take the easy way out. Pathetic excuse.
No, this is not true. To Love means to take someones best interests as a part of your own best interests. If someone cheats, the person do not love you. You see this through action. Not through feelings. Love is a choice.
She gave you food and you spit it out 😅
You don’t understand because you’re a woman.
I think the definition of love is subjective to every person. Your definition of love could be different from what love is to your partner. For some men, love could be someone you want to share your resources with, provide for them and protect them, but being faithful may not be one of them which isn’t a good excuse at all but that’s what I’ve heard. Sex is a dangerous drug for a lot of us men especially with pornography. I personally know some women who suffer the same issue who are sex addicts and fear commitment because it takes away their sexual freedom and they can end up cheating. Infidelity has no sex or gender, it comes down to choice no matter what the reason is.
Totally agree
Nah
It’s Lust. We all decide to act of not
Oh trust me you can be everythingggg but still they cheat 😢
No you can only think you are everything.
@@gyver471 what's not everything to you??
u never met good men thats all
Men make me sick. Honestly the more i hear this the more i will not get emotionally involved.
Women don't understand how much we value feeling desired. That's what men usually seek elsewhere. The feeling of been seen, heard, understood. Men don't like asking for any of these things , it'll make us look weak, needy, desperate.
Lol… women feel exactly the same way, feeling vulnerable is difficult for most people.
@sarahalderman3126 True. The difference is that men are expected to initiate. Always.
@@villaespesa1 I’m not sure I understand what you mean by “the difference is that men are rarely expected to initiate always”… that men are not expected to be vulnerable? Yes I would agree that it is considered to be a “weakness” in men, especially to other men.
@@sarahalderman3126 I meant to say men are always expected to initiate, be the romantic and seducers. But then how would we know if we are truly desired if women don't also initiate, at least once in a while? That's the issue I see from couples I know .
@@villaespesa1 ahh, yes I do agree. Though from my personal perspective I think its more that we differ in what we see as “initiating”. To myself engaging my husband in any kind of communication is in fact initiating… to me. Whenever I reach out in any way I am in fact attempting to initiate intimacy. When a woman complains, cries, tells a story, asks a question, or in any way tries to draw your attention it IS her attempting to “initiate”. We do this because we need to connect emotionally in order to desire sex, so we attempt to connect emotionally because we want to be sexual with you, it is the first step in sexual attraction/affection for a woman.
I do grasp, now, that to men these bids for emotional intimacy have nothing to do with sex. But for women this IS how we initiate sex.
Je crois vraiment que les généralités à propos de ce genre de ces sujets ne sont pas conseillés. Tout dépend du contexte,de la situation actuelle de la relation,de comment il se sent et se comporte le partenaire,des vraies intentions de l'homme qui trahit sa femme. Tout dépend du contexte qui diffère de chaque cas,couple, situation. Généraliser non ! La trahison est douloureuse pour celui qui la subi et assumer ou pas reste un pure choix très personnel qui dépends de la profonde volonté de la personne et ses valeurs les plus importantes
Wonderful. Thank you.
If you go to the other channel that posted this interview, you will see many women arguing in the comment section that male psychology is wrong. It’s very interesting.
What’s offered here is an explanation of male psychology, not the justification of it. Women can use this knowledge to their advantage.
Yet almost all comments under the other video choose to argue why male psychology is wrong, completely missing the point that what’s offered here is insight about male psychology, not whether it’s right or wrong.
That's because they're thinking emotionally rather than logically and rationally.
Now, why are they choosing to react emotionally? Because they're women and because the comments consist of mostly women who have been cheated on in the past and have not moved on/healed. They're still stuck.
The women think they're being blamed for not tolerating the cheater & think they have to relax and take it in the future with other men as well so their knee jerk reaction is to act impulsively, primitively and "attack" the "perps" by saying there's something wrong with THEM (or even this woman) throwing critical thinking, logic and rationality out the window.
In all honesty, a lot of them should stop pointing fingers at men and start doing some therapy or inner work bc at the end of the day, they chose to be in a relationship, marry and even have kids with the wrong man. In most cases, signs are there that the relationship is doomed.
🗣️💯 Refreshing to hear wow
Good men that align with who you are no matter how good you might be are hard to find because true love matches are rare it's sad but true..
Wish my mother had given me the cold hard truth about men and marriage when I was growing up. I was in lala land, romanticized fidelity and true love no matter the circumstances (he'd wait for me forever) . It is the stuff of movies but women latch on to it and pay a big price when reality hits.
The mental torture for the victim is a life sentence and not easily resolved, if ever - why would you do that to someone you once loved.
Yes, I agree this is certainly how infidelity occurs in marriage. Tbh I wish I had learned this BEFORE deciding to get married or have children. Our society, prior generations have actually intentionally lied to us about everything related to relationships and “love”. Had I known this about my husband I would have never married him nor had children with him. Unfortunately the truth did not come out until our 3rd child was born! That’s the main problem here is that men LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING!! I would NEVER have married a man who did not really “love” me. Let’s be real here a man who is even THINKING about another woman does not love his wife. If he did “love” her he would not even want to think about anyone else. Once they make the conscious DECISION to choose someone else the relationship is over.
For those of us already stuck in a in a unfaithful marriage this is all quite obvious imo. I can recall all the signs of his infidelity, I could actually FEEL it all along. I tried connecting. I was actually the one missing sex the most due to his infidelity. But he had no interest in me because he married a woman who is nothing like what he has taught himself to want. Porn has essentially destroyed any chance of a committed relationship.
That sucks. I get what you're saying.
@@villaespesa1 yeah, it sucks to be deceived. It seems to me that our society would be better served to acknowledge and accept the differences between men and women. Learning these fundamental differences between us has been quite groundbreaking for myself.
All my life I have heard the whole men and women are exactly the same. That we have similar goals, desires, and aspirations. But in an effort towards equality we have actually just lied to multiple generations of women about both themselves and men. So many young women are brought up on this fantasy of “true love” or romantic love, the disney fairytale. Which is starkly contrast actual fairytales of the past, which did acknowledge the savage or barbaric nature of life on earth. But my generation and those that followed we taught that this sort of fantasy existed and that it was to be expected for every one of us. It seems that men understand this to be a fantasy very early on, whereas women in my experience do “see” the contradictions but often choose to believe in the “potential”. Often not waking up to reality until their children have grown. Which is why we see so many divorces right around 15-25 years of marriage. It is exactly then that women finally grasp that romantic “love” is a lie, it is nothing more than a fantasy. Realizing and accepting that you gave away your “only” value as a woman, for a “lie” is devastating and sobering.
I for one certainly hope that our society returns to a place of truth and reality. I would love to see both men and women acknowledging these fundamental differences between men and women, arming both with the tools and information to make thoughtful and effective choices in this life.
@sarahalderman3126 Men and women are very different. If we weren't, there wouldn't be polarities between the sexes. That's a key component of attraction. But in 3 areas, both genders are the same. We all want to be seen, heard, and understood. Those are universal human needs. If we all understood this deeply, all relationships would benefit greatly.
@@villaespesa1 I agree that we all have the same human needs, however I do believe we experience them differently. We may be using the same words but often mean something quite different.
@sarahalderman3126 Yeah, it varies by degree. Take sex for 1 example.
Men always want more than women, even past 65, 70 years of age. Women want it less. But it doesn't mean they don't want it too.the difference is the degree. Communication is another example. Women want more on average. But we all want it. Men are more about doing. This is why we be walking around, using our hands a lot when communicating. That drives Women nuts. Lol . But that's because it is not natural for us to sit down, sipping on tea while opening our hearts . We all communicate ,but HOW we do it is different.
This woman just gets relationships... She truly gets men.
Thats because shes been around the block and back
@@BodyByRich maybe, but she gets it.
@@BodyByRichshe's a psychologist. It's her job to understand people.
Yeah she makes them sound awful 😂
@@Livingrentfreeinyomind77yup.
A man will always be tented to get what his biology is asking, we the strong ones, the ones with the capacity to control our emotion and actions.
This was rich with insight.
Sexual desire has very little to do with love. Men are visual creatures, and the reality is that if a man no longer fancies his partner like he previously did, he's either going to cheat on her or he's going to fantasize about women who he finds more desirable.
If you see a Lamborghini in a car park, you won't be looking at the Ford that's parked next to it. If you're driving in a rural area with flat farmland to the left and a mountain to the right, you won't be looking at the farm. It's human nature to look at and desire something or somebody that stands out from normality.
I've worked as a personal trainer for a long time, and it's sad to see so many people that fail to look after themselves by abusing their bodies with a shit diet and lack any type of exercise related structure within their lifestyle.
Health is the most important factor in life, both physically and mentally. If people look after themselves then they will remain attractive to their partners, and the likelihood is that their partners will be less likely to stray.
I was never told that men have needs.. grew up with only girls house of 4 girls.. if men never tell you, you can never know. And if they never try to make room and take the child and chores sometimes.. its their own fault that they don’t get sex.
They can’t ask something, they Dont make room for themselves… and I dont get anything in return ever.. glad I Found a new real man with open communication
Lisa's hair, necklace, watch, clothing, boots. Everything is so distracting
😂😂😂
My experience is that when a woman consciously works to *not* have kids, as she has, she reverts to childhood antics in middle age (where she is). This is followed by a 'spiritual' stage in (still-childless) old age. (And yes, there are male analogs to the female versions of this.)
Wow, great content
You have to really know the lady you are with is the one you realize you need forever.
The idea that the other zillion "V"'s will be differnt is the "truth" ❗️❗️❗️👍
So don’t have kids and don’t marry a dishonest man? We all should be marrying honest ppl but sadly that’s not reality. Too many factors come into play!
Side note: love this clip! Everything was on point and clearly articulated. Thanks for sharing!
Edit: I should’ve said “don’t marry and have kids with dishonest ppl.”
Hi lady
You don't typically know who's dishonest until after getting with them. In many cases, you don't know a man is dishonest until after marriage or having kids. Parenthood & marriage often reveal entirely new sides of men that women didn't know existed prior.
The only guy who ever cheated on me had cheated in his past too! Cheaters are often cheaters
Firstly men should take care of kids rather than sitting on the couch lol
As a man with 40 years of experience i can guarantee thats right 👍😎
Yes, I agree this is certainly how infidelity occurs in marriage. Tbh I wish I had learned this BEFORE deciding to get married or have children. Our society actually intentionally lies to us about everything.
I Will never lower My standardsvar to What My ex husband did to me, he never gave anything in return. Never. Was always off making other girls laugh.. I was never his priority - never. Cant believe I lived with him for so long.. damn, Will never settle again ever!!!
I remember hearing a psychologist speak about men cheating on their wives with their first love or that girlfriend that he didn’t give a second chance with because emotionally his heart was hers the whole time. And these men got married, had children, photo albums of so many memories with their wives but it didn’t matter because they were emotionally in love with the past girlfriend the whole time. I believe men tell themselves it doesn’t mean anything
Please, make it possible to turn off subtitles...
It's very uncomfortable to watch video with subtitles which close roughly the half of image...
I fucking love the way sadia interprets it and represents us with “in their world thats how they see it” oh boy it feels nice to be seen as a man.. its like men do all these things to try and understand women but when a women like sadia tells you your own male behaviors its like🤯🤯🤯
Dearest Sadie am Don in Louisiana USA! When I was married I completely desired too be one mind, and spirit ! But the other rejected and fell away, it just broke my heart! How do you move on and trust again ??
Spot on.
A person's moral compass or its lack, determines his/her behaviour, not the partner's availability. Where it seems like it does, the person in question is a liar and infidel, because a true man of faith never strays off, even when the opportunity arises. He has a reliable character to stand his ground instead of shaking it to destroy the very foundations of his marriage to his partner. He does not become a child by misbehaveing and cheating to get attention. He helps the wife with kids to spare her some couple time too as it's the wife who needs to be taken care of after bearing and raising kids. He waits for her and respects her for her devotion to his children. Only a man who is not honest to face his own truths, lies or cheats and is not worth a dime.
Sadia is spot on ~ 🇦🇺✌🏽😎☀️
You are such an excellent communicator Sadia, and you sure do know what you are talking about.
Fantastic thank you
Interviewer looks like a crazy dog owner. Sadia as always on point
I personally trust in myself, in doing so, I don't need anything outside of myself to be complete or comforted. Sex is a enjoyable intimate act of kindness. I learned how to love from my mother, it started at home. I was allowed to accept myself, imperfections, emotions and all. I communicate a lot at 16 yrs old, in the same loving environment. I never cheated
in my life, I have nothing needing fulfillment. Sorry this happened to anyone, and thank you Mom for your LOVE.❤️😀 it's okay to be ME without needing validation of who truly "Am I, I will never find in another.
She is good! Great info!
in my church one of our beloved trusted ministers used to have men classes and a separate one for women. on relationships. now we were all sworn to secrecy and we respected that. so I do not know what the men were told or taught. I do know what women were told to do and to remember; one, that men need to be remembered once you have a child, you can't just cater to the child and forget your husband. very important. two, to "sandwich" criticisms. "compliment, then say what you want to, then add another compliment" to allow his being able to take it. men need our RESPECT *(I learned this from John Gray EXCELLENT teacher on relationships as well) and women need ADORATION. so.....do what you will. women do need to get back to valuing the home and serving a beautiful dinner, making him feel important and taking care of the kids, etc., while he brings home the bacon, so to speak. but...........that's what I want to see happen. nowadays most do not marry and so it's a free for all with no commitments really and no God in the home, so I guess that is where it starts. no spiritual foundation in the home and a true lack of respect for God and lots of immorality to go around. this is why our Country is tanking...........
Humans are complicated to say the least.
Leviticus 19:29 "Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness."
If you are with a real man he will understand that the wife is tired and a real man will help his wife. This statement I'd a bit sexist with gender role. It is 50 /50 in a marrige
I can’t believe I’m saying this on a Psychologists video but…… There is a LOT to unpack here.
Crazy
She really knows. ❤️
Wow,,your great,,👏👏👏
I just found out that my husband spent a lot of time searching the names of girls 20 and under on Facebook, within the past couple months. He will be 48 in a few months. Gross.
I’m so sorry.
Communication is key. Men should tell their wives needs. And women should let their husband feel comfortable to communicate those needs
While it sounds nice in theory, sometimes men just get tired of the same cereal day after day after day... They want all the comforts of home with someone new & exciting on the side.
As a man in his mid 30s I 100% agree with sister Sadia, everything she says is spot on, i recommend to girls to plan a date night, every couple weeks, worst case once a month, rent a room/hotel for couple days, leave the kids with grandma, be passionate, make love, keep the spark , go for dinner before the hotel fun with your spouse. This is what i tell my lady, date night focused just on us.
Doesn't justify cheating
As a man in his 40s I don't agree with reason for cheating.
TH-cam is flooded with channels of justified cheating for males but not women. I totally disagree
@@toydigger exactly
The man should be planning the date nights. She can hire the sitter, but he should be making the hotel reservations, asking her on the date, and making the restaurant reservations, buying tickets, etc
Your partner shouldn't have to entertain you prevent cheating. You shouldn't cheat because you love your partner and would never what to destroy the life you've made together. If you need spice to stay faithful you're a mess of a human. Nothing wrong with keeping things spicy, just the lack of it is a sorry excuse to betray your life partner. Very childish.
Damn! can you make some joi asmr vids? go viral immediately!!
It means you chose the wrong guy
My ex cheated even all his needs met! She is not right
Not strange for you to automatically assume infidelity.....you hear so many stories and work with many couples. You know how real it is.
Hi
" outsourcing unmet needs" how nicely packaged that is 😒
When one communicates and the other will not,that makes it harder
So now cheating is called outsourcing 😒😏
No outsourcing is what we do cheating is what it is but it’s ok.
@@gyver471 it’s never ok it’s not even ok for the person cheating/outsourcing even if they don’t get caught bc then they have to live with the fact they lack integrity and can’t control themselves to be a good honest person to ppl they have agreements with
Is she actually a psychologist?because I heard in an interview she said she “studied” psychology which anyone can do but said she was actually a teacher of children so I’m not sure she has a psychology degree and then she said they made her sad so she started just doing psychology type tips on Instagram or something like that and it escalated I don’t know if she’s an actual psychologist with a doctorate degree does anyone have the answer to this question? In this interview the first thing the interviewer said was, you are psychologist and she answered yes but that doesn’t coincide with what she said in another interview and also someone else was also questioning her credentials. I think it was someone with a degree or some thing, and all she did was smear that person’s credentials, and didn’t mention anything of her own, I think her advice is great most of the time I really like her but sometimes it seems way off and maybe not some thing based on main stream psychology so I’m very confused is she or isn’t she?
I spot him cheating on me even if we're thousand miles away 😂 Ldr sadia is right asses his values and actions towards you.
most men want a harem
And no responsibility.
@@TheYogaLetter true
Why guys cheat ?
Because they have options.
why women cheat
because they have options. (goes both ways)cheating is a choice not a mistake
@@FEHUBN_yuhn78 every woman have options but not every man
Love is sacrifice
U get some good points
Authentic people will address the issues rather than cheating, or being needy and Bla Bla Bla
Pornography is cheating. Say you are at a beach or what not and you see a woman in a bikini. A man looks her way. Now when he doesn’t watch pornography I think yes he did look at her. But I don’t think he looks at her in a sexual way. He just notices her. I think that goes both ways as well. As a woman notices a man at the beach. But if either or watches pornography. I think there perception is different.
You're going to be dumbstruck if you ever care enough to learn about male (vs. female) sexuality. While extremely unpleasant, I do think if you want to grow as a person, you should educate yourself.
Coming from someone who's a chronic "self-educator" as I assume I don't have the best understanding on even the things I'm confident in
Women don’t keep up with a man’s sex drive.
Ppl move on women don’t understand that it don’t matter how special you are to your man if u leave him with no sex it’s game over
Say it again if you find a man to tell you the truth you’ll creat a connection without infidelity and hopefully she’ll be the same being honest for both to have a healthy respectful relationship❤
As a woman I can 100 percent tell you that woman can do the exact same thing!!!!
Yes but they are less likley to admit it and more likley to play the victim even when they are cheating
True
@@sadiapsychologyI will have to disagree with you on this. What man do you know openly admits cheating? They also play the victim. We all know a man who endlessly complained about his wife/girlfriend setting up the grounds for justification to what he’s doing. Either way my initial comment was in regards to your answer to why men cheat. I believe women can love someone also not have their needs met and get them met through someone else. How both sexes respond to being caught cheating is really the same in the end! It’s not like men own their behavior.
She is right
Thanku for interviewing her..she is too intelligent
Brilliant
Cheating is not an accident it’s something people do on purpose and it seems as though she’s trying to diminish the accountability that goes into somebody doing something that is so sneaky, malicious and disingenuous to tell somebody they love them better going behind their back and cheating on them that is not love. When you truly love somebody, you do not want to hurt them despite even if your needs of having your d*ck pleaded isn’t being met. That’s a selfish need lady.
So true cheating is an act of being selfish and self-centered. The person is really communicating my needs come first.