Hi Sandy! I'm not sure if you have joined our "Community of Family Caregivers" Facebook group, but it is an online group that is vulnerable and shares struggles and encouragements, and we would love for you to join us! In regards to a safe and loving physical place where you can share struggles, yes, that is so helpful and needed and we pray you will find that! Here is the Facebook group if you're on Facebook and if you have not joined us there yet! facebook.com/groups/communityoffamilycaregivers Thank you, - Reframing Ministries Staff
My husband of 37 years died 2 years and 8 months ago. We knew he was going to die. He was diagnosed with neurodegenerative disease. The doctor told us that day that he could live for 20 years or 20 days. It may be a slow deterioration or a sudden deadly stroke. That was 11 years ago. I was on watch constantly. Checked him during the night many times. Like Marilyn said she thought, I thought I was going to be just fine and pick up and live my own life. Not true. I’m not functioning. I live with my son and family in mother in law suite. I never go anywhere. I have pushed friends away, but I did that once my husband went into a nursing home. To be honest, I was embarrassed and afraid he would act out and I wanted to preserve his dignity and mine. I just say all of this to say how good it is to listen to someone who is saying similar things that I can relate to. Thanks for sharing. But I need some help. Do you have resources available? Thanks again.
Omgosh! This discussion was SO HELPFUL for me! I cried with you ladies, and feel so encouraged that I'm not the only one who has those raw places that probably won't be completely comforted or resolved until I'm with our Lord! Thank you both so much! Glory to God!
Since 1969 my journey in following Jesus has been just that, a journey... Knowing His heart, mind, will, and wisdom is my life and hearts desire...❤ I cut my spiritual teeth on teachings from Chuck Swindoll, Charles Stanley, and Jack Hayford... (Still listen to them too! 😅) I'm so appreciative of your candor of the necessity of 2 Cor 1: 4~5 (NASB) needed to be applied in the "church" at large... Right now I've found myself following in the ranks of those not wanting to be party to "organized" religion due to the lack of grace being walked out Why? Glad ewe asked...😊 Briefly.... It's a very sad state of affairs to see a flock held to standards the leadership is not held to.... The lack of accountability in financial accounts in foreign missions, personal integrity, and power deeply saddens my heart to see the "church" behaving no different than our "run a muck" society... It's no wonder many people have gravitated to teachings of "harmony and positive thinking" over the teachings from the pulpit... So ! Thank you again for sharing your hearts... and conveying solid teaching based in God's grace, truth, integrity and character...Gal 5:22~23 Your words are very timely... And yes, I have shaken the pebbles out of my shoes... Love and hugs ! 🥳🤸🤹♀️
As I listen to this great interview, I now wonder if we are so susceptible to emotional pain and distress because we live in a society, especially Americans, that exalts itself as strong, free, “the best,” and leaders in nearly all things? We are known as a nation that provides answers that impact the world! Note, this is not a political statement nor a debate. I just kept wondering if all the television shows (especially the shows of old, that nearly ALWAYS ended with the happy endings. The advertisement commercials presenting us with subtle innuendos of how we should live: i.e., subconsciously instilling social versions of what qualifies as a “normal” life. Those hidden standards often make many of us stop and question, “Why?” We cannot understand “God, why is my life normal?” Early in my life, I was always taught “1 + 1 = 2.” And that equation has served as a lasting foundation for a belief system of equality in my mind, subconsciously. However, when viewing life with that same foundational equation, as an adult, the answer is simply not the standard “2.” When this happens in my adult years, I run to my ‘new’ teacher, known as “The Great Teacher (or Rabbi,” The Lord, and ask, “Why am I getting a different answer?” or more often I ask in a broken manner, “Why am I getting it all wrong?”😢. When in fact, in the classroom called life, that elementary equation is simply not the standard. For in my adult life’s classroom, especially when shaped viewing my peer’s lives, I often see my fellow “class” mates, better known as my social neighbors in my neighborhood and community, who live just like I do, but their results equate great children, a great marriage, a wonderful home, the car(s), and even fabulous weddings events that lead to a wonderful life etc etc. However, the foundational equation when used to gauge my life against my neighbor’s equation, we simply do not add up. Despite the fact that we are functioning EXACTLY the same: (1)educated + (1)hard worker + (1)married life + (1)children and even the added (1)church life. But…our = is NOT totaling the same. And socially I or we are not acceptable as “norms.” This video message impacts me by causing me to inspect my foundational thinking that is embedded in coveting. Sounds old fashioned, but in my life, IT is the root of all evil. Great video. Thanks for sharing!❤
I lost my only child when he was murdered at 18 years old. A “friend” was jealous that he was laughing and talking to the girl he liked so he got his hunting rifle and came back and shot and killed my son. It ripped my heart out and my Christian faith was shattered. That was 8 years ago. I cannot get past this unbearable pain and belief that God left me utterly hopeless in unrelenting grief. I don’t want to live anymore. I hate life without my son. My tall, handsome, funny boy who stepped into the arms of Jesus and his dad and I went to “hell”.
I cannot imagine the depths of your grief, but I hear it and sense how hopeless you feel right now. I am so, so deeply sorry you have been in this “hell” place for so long; it must feel like it will never let up. Losing a child is something no parents should have to endure. According to psychologists, losing a child is one of the worst traumas a human being can experience. I can imagine how your faith has been wrecked and tested in all of this, yet you know that your son is in the arms of Jesus. I do hope that brings you some kind of comfort. Just yesterday was the International Bereaved Mother’s Day . . . it is a yearly day that recognizes and honors the moms across the world who have lost a child. There is a group of moms who understand what you are going through. Started by a mom who lost her 30 yr old son to suicide, she has created a community of women with understanding and helpful healing resources. I hope this might bring you some help as you continue to walk out this road: grievingmoms.com/ Our prayer is that you would feel and know that God is with you in the midst of your grief and darkest of days and that He would heal your broken heart. If you need more prayer or help, please email us at reframingministries@insight.org. We would love to help how we can. If you find yourself in distress and needing to talk with someone at any time day or night, please call 988 for the crisis and suicide lifeline. May you know that you are loved and not alone. - Colleen and Reframing Ministries Staff
@@reframingministries Your gracious reply means so much to me. I didn’t even know about the International Bereaved Mother’s Day but I will be checking it out online. I appreciate the information you shared with me. I have often needed a crisis line with someone to talk to as I battle a desire to end my suffering. Thank you for your kindness. I can’t begin to even count the number of Chuck Swindoll sermons that my husband and I have listened to down through the years. He is probably the man of God we have most enjoyed and respected in our Christian walk. Even though we are both quite literally shattered spiritually. Many years ago I had the opportunity to go to a Women of Faith conference and laughed myself senseless listening to Lucy Swindoll (I had not realized she had already stepped into God’s presence until I listened to the heartbreaking talk between Colleen and her dad). All of the women who spoke were absolutely fabulous speakers. I just loved Marilyn Meberg’s talks as she seemed so relatable to me with my ultra conservative background as I struggled to come to grips with God’s grace for living in an evolving culture.
Hi again! Colleen here . . . or maybe you would prefer "Luci’s niece"! HA! I want you to know much we care for you and the grief you are living with. Most who connect with our outreach (Reframing Ministries) that I lead are people whose faith has been shattered . . . they know God, but they are also in life circumstances that have shattered every ounce of trust in God as they have known Him. The insurmountable grief is bigger than the God they have trusted; often the core is what they have believed or been taught about God keeping them stuck. I picked up on your comment about an ultra-conservative childhood belief structure; one that often defines a relationship with Jesus by a list of “do’s and don’ts”. If we believe our faith rests on this do's/don'ts list, then you can’t be angry, doubt, or express emotions to God. You must "get over" hard stuff, Jesus doesn’t love you if you do ______ . . . all of which is about us keeping a list, not about a gracious relationship with Him. My belief structure has been shattered. I still wrestle with Jesus over hard stuff, but my faith is deep because I know He is walking with me through each moment. Grief can be integrated into our lives in ways unexpected over time; perhaps pondering some of your beliefs with God will open space for you to connect with Him once again. I am praying for you and thank you for your time in reading this. Please feel free to email us at reframingministries@insight.org and I can connect more with you there if you'd like. - Colleen
@@reframingministries I am truly blown away that you would take the time to not only message me once, but twice! I know you are a very busy lady! I wasn’t sure if it had been you or your staff that messaged the first time so I wrote my message based on not knowing. I did misspell your aunt’s name! I’m sorry about that. Anyway, last night I listened to a talk you gave about being shattered yourself due to some terrible experiences for yourself, your children, and especially your special needs son. How precious he is! He did such a great job on his interview!! Much better than I would do. That’s dear to my heart as I am a nursing supervisor for nurses who work with special needs patients. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for such a beautiful reply and to tell you that I would love to continue to connect with you through the link you sent. Truthfully I had no idea a ministry for Christians who have had their faith shattered even existed. My husband was a pastor for 27 years and after our son was murdered, the people in our church couldn’t handle having a broken pastor. How touching to think that you and your staff are ministering to broken Christians. If I was ever going to be in Christian ministry again that is probably the only area I could see myself serving in. I think it’s pretty awesome to have the great Chuck Swindoll’s daughter and Luci Swindoll’s niece reach out to me!! Of course you are a lovely and gifted woman all in your own right as well. Thank you for your kindness to this broken Christian. ❤️
So wonderful to hear from Marilyn again! So many memories of Marilyn and Lucy and their hilarious adventures!😅
It would be wonderful to have a place to share your struggles where you feel safe, loved and not judged.
Hi Sandy!
I'm not sure if you have joined our "Community of Family Caregivers" Facebook group, but it is an online group that is vulnerable and shares struggles and encouragements, and we would love for you to join us!
In regards to a safe and loving physical place where you can share struggles, yes, that is so helpful and needed and we pray you will find that!
Here is the Facebook group if you're on Facebook and if you have not joined us there yet!
facebook.com/groups/communityoffamilycaregivers
Thank you,
- Reframing Ministries Staff
My husband of 37 years died 2 years and 8 months ago. We knew he was going to die. He was diagnosed with neurodegenerative disease. The doctor told us that day that he could live for 20 years or 20 days. It may be a slow deterioration or a sudden deadly stroke. That was 11 years ago. I was on watch constantly. Checked him during the night many times. Like Marilyn said she thought, I thought I was going to be just fine and pick up and live my own life. Not true. I’m not functioning. I live with my son and family in mother in law suite. I never go anywhere. I have pushed friends away, but I did that once my husband went into a nursing home. To be honest, I was embarrassed and afraid he would act out and I wanted to preserve his dignity and mine.
I just say all of this to say how good it is to listen to someone who is saying similar things that I can relate to.
Thanks for sharing. But I need some help. Do you have resources available?
Thanks again.
Omgosh! This discussion was SO HELPFUL for me! I cried with you ladies, and feel so encouraged that I'm not the only one who has those raw places that probably won't be completely comforted or resolved until I'm with our Lord! Thank you both so much! Glory to God!
So thankful this reached into your heart. - Colleen
You are The Best to share this conversation as if I were a part of It. Thank you so much. This Is the best in internet for me. I belong!
I miss WOF. I loved these ladies.
So helpful!
Since 1969 my journey in following Jesus has been just that, a journey...
Knowing His heart, mind, will, and wisdom is my life and hearts desire...❤
I cut my spiritual teeth on teachings from Chuck Swindoll, Charles Stanley, and Jack Hayford...
(Still listen to them too! 😅)
I'm so appreciative of your candor of the necessity of 2 Cor 1: 4~5 (NASB) needed to be applied in the "church" at large...
Right now I've found myself following in the ranks of those not wanting to be party to "organized" religion due to the lack of grace being walked out
Why?
Glad ewe asked...😊
Briefly....
It's a very sad state of affairs to see a flock held to standards the leadership is not held to....
The lack of accountability in financial accounts in foreign missions, personal integrity, and power deeply saddens my heart to see the "church" behaving no different than our "run a muck" society...
It's no wonder many people have gravitated to teachings of "harmony and positive thinking" over the teachings from the pulpit...
So !
Thank you again for sharing your hearts... and conveying solid teaching based in God's grace, truth, integrity and character...Gal 5:22~23
Your words are very timely...
And yes, I have shaken the pebbles out of my shoes...
Love and hugs !
🥳🤸🤹♀️
As I listen to this great interview, I now wonder if we are so susceptible to emotional pain and distress because we live in a society, especially Americans, that exalts itself as strong, free, “the best,” and leaders in nearly all things? We are known as a nation that provides answers that impact the world!
Note, this is not a political statement nor a debate. I just kept wondering if all the television shows (especially the shows of old, that nearly ALWAYS ended with the happy endings. The advertisement commercials presenting us with subtle innuendos of how we should live: i.e., subconsciously instilling social versions of what qualifies as a “normal” life. Those hidden standards often make many of us stop and question, “Why?” We cannot understand “God, why is my life normal?”
Early in my life, I was always taught “1 + 1 = 2.” And that equation has served as a lasting foundation for a belief system of equality in my mind, subconsciously. However, when viewing life with that same foundational equation, as an adult, the answer is simply not the standard “2.”
When this happens in my adult years, I run to my ‘new’ teacher, known as “The Great Teacher (or Rabbi,” The Lord, and ask, “Why am I getting a different answer?” or more often I ask in a broken manner, “Why am I getting it all wrong?”😢. When in fact, in the classroom called life, that elementary equation is simply not the standard.
For in my adult life’s classroom, especially when
shaped viewing my peer’s lives, I often see my fellow “class” mates, better known as my social neighbors in my neighborhood and community, who live just like I do, but their results equate great children, a great marriage, a wonderful home, the car(s), and even fabulous weddings events that lead to a wonderful life etc etc.
However, the foundational equation when used to gauge my life against my neighbor’s equation, we simply do not add up. Despite the fact that we are functioning EXACTLY the same: (1)educated + (1)hard worker + (1)married life + (1)children and even the added (1)church life. But…our = is NOT totaling the same. And socially I or we are not acceptable as “norms.”
This video message impacts me by causing me to inspect my foundational thinking that is embedded in coveting. Sounds old fashioned, but in my life, IT is the root of all evil.
Great video. Thanks for sharing!❤
I lost my only child when he was murdered at 18 years old. A “friend” was jealous that he was laughing and talking to the girl he liked so he got his hunting rifle and came back and shot and killed my son. It ripped my heart out and my Christian faith was shattered. That was 8 years ago. I cannot get past this unbearable pain and belief that God left me utterly hopeless in unrelenting grief. I don’t want to live anymore. I hate life without my son. My tall, handsome, funny boy who stepped into the arms of Jesus and his dad and I went to “hell”.
I cannot imagine the depths of your grief, but I hear it and sense how hopeless you feel right now. I am so, so deeply sorry you have been in this “hell” place for so long; it must feel like it will never let up. Losing a child is something no parents should have to endure. According to psychologists, losing a child is one of the worst traumas a human being can experience. I can imagine how your faith has been wrecked and tested in all of this, yet you know that your son is in the arms of Jesus. I do hope that brings you some kind of comfort. Just yesterday was the International Bereaved Mother’s Day . . . it is a yearly day that recognizes and honors the moms across the world who have lost a child. There is a group of moms who understand what you are going through. Started by a mom who lost her 30 yr old son to suicide, she has created a community of women with understanding and helpful healing resources. I hope this might bring you some help as you continue to walk out this road: grievingmoms.com/
Our prayer is that you would feel and know that God is with you in the midst of your grief and darkest of days and that He would heal your broken heart. If you need more prayer or help, please email us at reframingministries@insight.org. We would love to help how we can.
If you find yourself in distress and needing to talk with someone at any time day or night, please call 988 for the crisis and suicide lifeline. May you know that you are loved and not alone.
- Colleen and Reframing Ministries Staff
@@reframingministries Your gracious reply means so much to me. I didn’t even know about the International Bereaved Mother’s Day but I will be checking it out online. I appreciate the information you shared with me. I have often needed a crisis line with someone to talk to as I battle a desire to end my suffering. Thank you for your kindness. I can’t begin to even count the number of Chuck Swindoll sermons that my husband and I have listened to down through the years. He is probably the man of God we have most enjoyed and respected in our Christian walk. Even though we are both quite literally shattered spiritually. Many years ago I had the opportunity to go to a Women of Faith conference and laughed myself senseless listening to Lucy Swindoll (I had not realized she had already stepped into God’s presence until I listened to the heartbreaking talk between Colleen and her dad). All of the women who spoke were absolutely fabulous speakers. I just loved Marilyn Meberg’s talks as she seemed so relatable to me with my ultra conservative background as I struggled to come to grips with God’s grace for living in an evolving culture.
Hi again! Colleen here . . . or maybe you would prefer "Luci’s niece"! HA!
I want you to know much we care for you and the grief you are living with. Most who connect with our outreach (Reframing Ministries) that I lead are people whose faith has been shattered . . . they know God, but they are also in life circumstances that have shattered every ounce of trust in God as they have known Him. The insurmountable grief is bigger than the God they have trusted; often the core is what they have believed or been taught about God keeping them stuck. I picked up on your comment about an ultra-conservative childhood belief structure; one that often defines a relationship with Jesus by a list of “do’s and don’ts”.
If we believe our faith rests on this do's/don'ts list, then you can’t be angry, doubt, or express emotions to God. You must "get over" hard stuff, Jesus doesn’t love you if you do ______ . . . all of which is about us keeping a list, not about a gracious relationship with Him.
My belief structure has been shattered. I still wrestle with Jesus over hard stuff, but my faith is deep because I know He is walking with me through each moment. Grief can be integrated into our lives in ways unexpected over time; perhaps pondering some of your beliefs with God will open space for you to connect with Him once again. I am praying for you and thank you for your time in reading this. Please feel free to email us at reframingministries@insight.org and I can connect more with you there if you'd like.
- Colleen
@@reframingministries I am truly blown away that you would take the time to not only message me once, but twice! I know you are a very busy lady! I wasn’t sure if it had been you or your staff that messaged the first time so I wrote my message based on not knowing. I did misspell your aunt’s name! I’m sorry about that. Anyway, last night I listened to a talk you gave about being shattered yourself due to some terrible experiences for yourself, your children, and especially your special needs son. How precious he is! He did such a great job on his interview!! Much better than I would do. That’s dear to my heart as I am a nursing supervisor for nurses who work with special needs patients. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for such a beautiful reply and to tell you that I would love to continue to connect with you through the link you sent. Truthfully I had no idea a ministry for Christians who have had their faith shattered even existed. My husband was a pastor for 27 years and after our son was murdered, the people in our church couldn’t handle having a broken pastor. How touching to think that you and your staff are ministering to broken Christians. If I was ever going to be in Christian ministry again that is probably the only area I could see myself serving in. I think it’s pretty awesome to have the great Chuck Swindoll’s daughter and Luci Swindoll’s niece reach out to me!! Of course you are a lovely and gifted woman all in your own right as well. Thank you for your kindness to this broken Christian. ❤️
This brings tears to my eyes
I am so so sorry this terrible thing has happened to you. I pray comfort for you and peace that only Christ can give.