some people are just horrible with children it's understandable. I love hanging out with my nieces nephews and god children. all the fun with none of the responsibilities. and on the occassions that I get stuck with them more than the allotted time I gave them usually 12 hrs. we have soda ice-cream and a ton of candies for the parents to deal with all the stomach aches and hyper kids afterwards.
Story 1: NTA She deserves all that is happening to her, i dubt Danny kissed Paula without her consent while he liked her, what did she expected to happend? That she'll be able to ignore him for years, he'll get engaged and once she confesed her feeling he'll ditch his fiance to run into her arms? This woman sounds so self-absorver is disgusting.
@@SnowyWolborg: It’s amazing what some people on here call a mistake. Using gravy mix instead of coffee, that’s a mistake, so is putting salt in a drink instead of sugar. What Paula did was a calculated plan of action.
No you don’t have to babysit your grandkids. You deserve to have a break and enjoy the life of freedom! Her daughter being a single mother is her daughters problem! Don’t have kids you can’t care for!
And in regards to the daughter working an extra job on the weekend, by dropping the kids off with your mother you’re making your mother work on the weekend. The daughter is working for wage on the weekend but her mother is not, that’s indentured servitude. I thought we is the world didn’t agree with slavery?
The commenter talking about how daughter is burning herself out is bad seems to think that OP burning herself out for no pay is somehow good. I fail to see the logic. NTA
Why can't the mom and grandma each pay half of the cost of a babysitter for the weekends, Have the other relatives help financially too so it's not all falling on the single mom and grandmother?
yeah the last commentor was.. nope. if she's gonna work weekends, she needs to find childcare. grandma is not obligated to watch the kid and deserves her free weekends. berating relatives should be met with "oh I'll let her know you can do the babysitting"
He was dating a new woman for 4 years and then got engaged to her. Then Paula decides to make her move at the engagement announcement. So she plays the victim because everyone then cuts her out because she is trash. The man just announced his engagement to another woman this is not the time for you to make your move and announce that you to are supposed to be together because he once loved you 4 years ago and you now decided that you love him.
So it's ok for the grandmother to be burned out and tired. It's the daughter's responsibility balance having children and no blame should go to the grandmother for her daughter's life choices. What would she do if she didn't have a mother or had to go no contact?
OP is selfish and sometimes in life that's a good thing. OP has every right to be selfish in this case because she has already raised her kids, 4 of them. She has been there and done that. NTA. Not sure when this trend started of adults with kids expecting their parents, the grandparents, to be free childcare for them but it needs to end.
Seriously! I said it in another thread but im just in awe at the last comment. Who tf does that person think they are to decide it’s somehow the grandmothers responsibility to burn herself out taking care of kids she didn’t birth! Like wtf, where’s the dad in all this? You know what part of being an adult entails? Not procreating if you’re not in the financial or physical shape to do so! People seem to forget unless you’re a SA victim, you’re choosing to have unprotected sex/not use birth control, which means you’re choosing the outcome of that action if it results in kids. There are so many people who just straight up shouldn’t be parents I swear. It sounds like the mom is trying to work hard for a better life, but she can’t do that at the expense of her mother’s quality of life!
@@laurenc4138 my father worked his but off to give us everything we wanted, but we never saw him. When he retired he was dead in a year. Looking back i had rather less stuff and see my dad more. If he was home he always was to tired to do anything with us. Have less money is not bad if their is love in the home.
So true and if grandma ever needs elder care or help when she's much much older then her daughter can, without guilt, tell her "no mom, you need to figure all this out yourself."
@@SnowyWolborg Do you think she had a virgin birth? Most of those single moms you're railing against got that way because circumstances *changed* between conception and the time when they're scrambling for childcare. Or they live in a place where abortion is damn near impossible to get. You gonna pay for that 20 year old working part time to get to the state's one clinic during the shockingly short window she has between official conception date (her last period) and when she found out?
Did someone really comment that the grandmother would be at fault if the daughter burns herself out from working too much and raising a child… I’m sorry but it is in no way that grandmother’s responsibility to be full time 8+ hour child care for those kids every single weekend. She didn’t choose to have her daughter get pregnant, and the sad reality is it’s solely on the mother. It’s awful she can’t get a break herself, but burning out your aging parent isn’t the answer! That last commenter was so beyond entitled I can’t even believe that wasn’t sarcasm, like wow, how self centered are you dude!
Story 2 The moment the friend argued she had to run the errand herself my BS alarm started ringing. I imagined OP running to her car olympic style. You can´t bait your family and friends to babysit... for free and the kids behaving like wild animals.
Same. I was like "Oh hell no!" You tell me what you need and I will happily run the errand to get it. And if there's anything else you think of while I'm out, call me to let me know. This was a straight up ploy to weasel out of mom duties for the day. She was probably intending to be gone for hours, shopping or hanging out with friends, maybe hooking up with some guy, etc. She wanted a free babysitter.
Indeed. Danny is well out of it. There was a girl in my life who kept coming back whenever she wasn't in a relationship, then would disappear again whenever she found someone. Wouldn't commit to me but got jealous any time that I was seeing someone else, because I was clearly her fall-back guy. i have since managed to distance myself.
Paula got excluded for acting like a predator to someone who has no interest in her. Like the Rolling Stones said, "You can't always get what you want."
It’s not grandparents duties to be a babysitter to their grandchildren especially when they work hard themselves. The daughter needs to hire a babysitter for the weekends.
@@davidcunningham1289 Maybe? Or someone who thinks because the daughter is working hard and trying that it should be OP that works herself into an early grave to provide child cover otherwise if it happens to the daughter "that's on you" which is BS!! It's not like OP is retired and sitting around doing nothing all day and the people calling her and AH can give up THEIR own time to help the daughter or she can be an actual ADULT and figure out HER childcare issues!!
That commenter nailed it. She doesn't "love" Danny. She's mad that he's not lusting after her and in her head, despite being with this other girl for five years, she believed (bc she's an insane narcissist) that he still wanted her. The proposal set her off. If she truly wanted to see if the ship had sailed, she'd have talked to him, not kissed him in front of everyone. Also, she would've done it YEARS AGO.
Story 1: I had my own Paula, Danny and Ashley in my friend's group when I was much younger, but in this case, Danny DID ask Paula to go out a couple of times but she always refused him, then everytime she found out some other girl was flirting with him she was right back to him until the gild disapeared and then she'll tell Danny that "she was still confused" and refused him once more. It got worst when we realized that she was doing the same with her best female friend. Then, Ashley asked Danny out and he accepted and they started dating; Paula tried her best to broke them out, but Danny was already tired of that, so he cut her out and marry Ashley. It's been more than 10 years, Ashley and Danny are still happily married with two kids, and Paula is still single, not even her bestie is with her becase she also got tired of her
I was a single parent. My mom (54 at the time) made sure to let me know her ground rules included no extended babysitting (1-2 hours for Dr appts, etc) and I would carry my own weight. I'm now a grandma (62) with 2 grandchildren, and I understand being too tired to chase after toddlers! So grandma is NTA. But mama needs to make sure to not overdo it, and carve out some "me time".
Paula sounds like what Redpill channel says about how Women actually prefer men who are unavailable rather than ones that are available with no consequences for approaching.
Sometimes women see value in men when they see other women seeing that too. This is from my own experience and women like that should be avoided. This specially happened after i became a dad wich is disturbing.
Thinks its also the backwards thinking of wanting a man who's a good husband/provider/father/etc. And them being unwilling to put in the time and effort to build that kind of relationship and find that in a person who's SINGLE when there's a MARRIED ready made guy available she can just cheat with!! Makes me laugh though when if it works the guy later goes on to cheat on THEM and they're surprised
@@Miltz69 Exactly, men do not want a career minded aggressive woman, they want someone that can be a partner with, each having a role, but not the same role. I'm not meaning woman at home and men providing, I mean each partner has a part, I don't see gender in anything, but the people joining their lives need to fit together not clank like two blocks of metal. best example i have of this, my sis and BIL. They both work, but at home he typically takes care of the outside, she does the inside. While it sounds gendered it's not, this was their choices and with no communication, They each played to their strengths and made a better combination for it, they've been married for 25+ years, my parents were the same, both working and each had their part to play to keep the house running, they were married 30+ years before my dad died. The trick is, you have to find the right partner, not right now partner
My grandmother was 67 when her 1st great grandchild was born. I couldn't imagine her babysitting him 1 whole day let alone every weekend and she was retired for almost 15yrs already.
Sister on ex's side: NTA and kids don't need aunts and uncles. So OP's son not knowing his aunt is no detriment to the child. And since the sister isn't really apologetic, she will no doubt make comments about how OP and his girlfriend got together, she will make hurtful comments to/about the child's mother. If anything, having the sister in the child's life could be a detriment until he is old enough to understand the situation.
1st story made me laugh, Paula is an AH and is a narcissist/delusional as did she genuinely think that Danny and Ashley's 5yrs relationship and his proposal was all a ploy as he'd been secretly in love with her all this time so she just had to go for it "just in case"??? Paula's an AH who missed her chance if she even likes Danny who has now moved on. If she actually cared about him she'd be happy for him as a friend but can't do that so the group is right to exclude her!! Also her comment about "you never excluded him when he had feelings for me" is BS as he was respectful enough to not let his feelings become and issue for her or the group whereas she's actively trying to sabotage his relationship and drag everybody else into her BS. OP NTA
Agreed if she really has feelings for him( which I doubt) she could have told him ,not necessary to kiss him in front of everyone, at least that way when he turned her down it wouldn't have been so awkward and embarrassing. She actually thought he would just drop Ashley and run into her arms?? SMH.
@@arleneclark6369 Paula's reasoning would have been slightly on point if she approached Danny privately and confessed her feelings verbally. It still wouldn't have worked out, but at least they both could have had their dignity.
@@arleneclark6369 TBH Paula is just your classic attention seeking, emotionally needy, drama loving narcissist who believes the rest of the world only exist to act as bit players in their oh so important lives and find it really difficult to comprehend the possibility of others leading fulfilling lives where their existence is of negligible consequence.
"She wants to be a loyal friend. " Well ipsofacto, by default OP has a clear line in the sand that they aren't getting the benefit of her being "a loyal sister".
Wendy made me laugh as IF it was only 15mins and tomato sauce then no reason why OP couldn't have gone to the shops cause weren't they meant to be having lunch and she's cooking so couldn't she start the rest of the meal whilst OP grabbed the missing sauce?? Her refusing and having "other things to do".... yeah she wanted to have free babysitting and lunch would probably end up being dinner by the time she got back.
@@GabrielleHayes1921 She should tell the others at work what she did. Then if she asks again to come over agree. Then when she tells you she needs to go to the store just tell her she has half an hour and if by 45 minutes she's not back you will consider it child abandonment and call the cops. That will make her either call your bluff or deflate not willing to risk it. If she chances it then she will most likely get her child free life after CPS takes the kids.
Story 2: Something similar happened with me. Went over to visit a friend, but she wasn't home. Her husband and children were though. He said "Oh good, you can watch the kids so I can leave" Now, I'm childfree and get anxiety when left alone with them, but he assured me my friend would be home soon. The youngest was still in diapers and has health problems which needed medication if his problem came up. The dad didn't know where the medicine was or the diaper bag. He said it would probably be okay though and I stupidly stayed. Friend didn't come home for nearly an hour. Thankfully the medical issue didn't come up but the other issue did. Yeah... when the friend came home I told her I love her but I probably would never watch the kids again unless there was absolutely no one else.
The last commenter from the grandmother story is so wrong. Yeah, I wouldn't consider the daughter an a**hole because she's a struggling, single mother who could get burnt out without help, but NO none of that is "on" OP. She is not responsible for the fact that her daughter is a single mother or her financial situation and lack of childcare.
Yes thank you! They were so grossly out of line, you can tell how entitled that bum is just by that comment! The mom isn’t an AH but neither is OP! She’s not obligated to take care of her kids, and she shouldn’t have to!
@@SnowyWolborg I think she might have been trying to dunk on his new girl only to get stuffed. That's gotaa sting the old ego. Still the friend group getting all moralistic sounds a bit overdone. It was a beautiful package that should have ended with her disastrous kiss attempt. You gut you pining dude, you got your stringer girl. Dude gets a new girl and stringer tries to power play and then our villain girl gets humiliated. It's all there no need to get all "Get thee away, Jeezibel." on her. Humiliation and losing her playtoy was fitting comeuppance. Social isolation is tedious and not really necessary here. Well unless she keeps trying to get with the dude but I think her pride would prevent that. He was her bitch, she won't allow herself to be his bitch or worse, the rejected would be lover who can't let go.
As a grandma, our job is to occasionally see the kids, spoil them and send them back to their parents after about 2-3 hours every other month. My husband's mother watches his sisters kids (My daughter was born when I was a teen) and she takes advantage of it. Do not agree to watch your grandkids on a daily, or even weekend basis.
@@charminglady2011 You can wonder if she is really working those days, depending on what job she has she can probably pick up an extra shift or so but if she is already working the full week then won't labor laws forbade that? or she is just working half a day and is doing whatever she likes the other halves.
For the Meg story, I guarantee that she would take more than a few personal liberties with the menu. "That's dumb, I'm gonna do this." A pseudofessional.
It's the old string along game, she just held out too long. Her long time "plan B" went on and got himself a new "plan A" The kiss was a Hail Mary when she discovered she held out to long. Yeah it was ill considered and clumsy as all hell but I don't know why the friend group is all wound up over it. Yeah she overplayed and disrespected their relationship and got humiliated for it. From a friend group perspective that should be the end, so long as she back off from there on. These guys are getting all moralistic for no real reason.
“…had to know if she had lost her chance.” Ummm, I think his asking another woman to marry him made it pretty clear he was not interested in her. 🤦🏻♀️
Despite what many may think or profess to think a married person is capable of and maybe even eager to engage with relationships outside of their marriage. As evidence i refer you to the majority of these Reddit stories. If you don't care that the other person is married there are a lot of good sides to being the AP.
Last story: OP needs to tell her mother and her sister "I really appreciate Meg's offer, but I want my sister at my wedding as a guest, celebrating my marriage and being there to share in on my big day. If she does the catering, she will be working and her attention will be on feeding the guests, not being a guest herself. That's why fiance and I have decided to go in another direction." If they still argue with that reasoning, they are even bigger AH's than originally presented.
That’s a really good point, and she’d miss them getting married and such so they can unpack and get settled then everything prepared, cook & plated every meal, clean, put away and pack up etc nevermind if theyre also gunna wash everything too. I can’t believe she’s making op’s wedding all about them! Her not getting her way doesn’t mean op “isn’t supporting” her! Op wants to do Mexican and should be able to do what they want for their own freaking wedding! She isn’t doing op any favors and in fact on top of food op & hubby don’t want to do they’d also be paying her more then the taco people she would’ve gotten and actually wants! And yeah u can’t do a whole wedding right out of culinary school, like how much food have they made at a time all at once? And do they know how the plan & schedule it? Don’t think she and her friend can do a whole wedding by themselves never mind all the planning, stress & pressure that comes with it! People who work some sort of job for weddings all say how much more stressful and hard it is compared to doing it for some sort of other event. U need a lot of experience before doing such a job on ur own, and op’s WEDDING or anyones wedding should never be her first job! She’s not doing this for op but herself and ignoring what op wants to do with their own wedding, she’s the damn unsupportive and selfish one here. Their mom needs to stop enabling this behavior too like op’s wedding isn’t her practice run and something she can put on her resume. The family can hire her to cater the next family event.
Story #2 was hilarious!! Its great to hear a light hearted story where someone gets what they deserve plus the story is being read by my favorite narrator!!
Yeah that chick knows damn well she was trying to find a free babysitter for a couple hours and the whole 15 minutes at the grocery store thing was a complete lie. If it was true she wouldn't have gotten so pushy and so mad. Nobody's obligated to watch the children that you chose to have.
Right! My jaw dropped when op said she literally ran out of the house after her screaming at her to come back! People are literally insane I stg lol I think the one commenter was right, she probably pulled this BS with all of her actual friends and family and none of them would fall for it anymore so she decided to start in on acquaintances. She made plans and used this whole “let’s hang out I’ll make dinner” thing as a ruse, she would’ve been gone for HOURS doing lord knows what and pawning her kids off on basically a stranger. I like my coworkers but I don’t know or trust any of them enough to dog sit for me, let alone watch my kids if I had them.
The audacity of that woman to call genuine Mexican dishes *taco bell catering.* That's offensive to say a culture is a white franchise. Why is Mexican food not fancy to her? We have formal events too! Tacos obviously aren't the only things we eat
I have been to a wedding that was catered by a burrito/taco restaurant and it was awesome! They had plenty of options not just for meat eaters but vegans and vegetarians. Not every wedding has to follow the traditional sit down service reception. Weddings are suppose to be fun and memorable.
Op is sly fox, she figured out 15 minutes lie. Everyone knows that’s code for watch my kids for hours or days. Op you dodged a major bullet. Bravo lol.
Agree and to me the biggest clue was she didn’t try to calm the kids down because she was hoping that when she got back (hours later most likely) they be tired knowing that she can’t asked again Edit Ok the biggest clue would be that Op wasn’t allowed to buy the tomatoes sauce
On that 3rd story about the grandma having to watch the grandchild....First off NTA in general but my comment is more about that last comment to that story, whoever said that stuff is the idiot. That comment pretty much said that the grandma should just suck it up and if she doesn't saying it would be her fault if something happened to the daughter and/or grandchild. That person needs to get their head out of their asses
You were separated and had a kid with another woman. You ARE an adulterer. You DID cheat on your wife. You were still married. Get a divorce first to avoid this in the future.
I agree! I like how he tries to brush it off but he was still a married man. To me it's an affair. Whether they(the married couple) had feelings for each other or not..
I'm sorry but when did it become the responsibility of the grandparents to babysit? This is what I drilled into my children's heads: make sure you can raise your children because I won't. Occasionally helping out is one thing but expecting me to give up every weekend to babysit is a hard no. 🤷♀️
My mom used to babysit all the time and it was so freaking tiring, I told her a lot of times that she should limit it but she gave me the 'my house my rules' spiel. so okay fine, then I move out and I did. Haven't regretted it one bit and now she is sometimes frustrated with how normal it has become that the kids come to her whenever it's convenient for the parents lol.
This Grandmother deserves to have a break too. She has raised 4 kids and she still works 5 days a week. The daughter needs to set up childcare with someone else. Sometimes is alrigh but this is not her job. So she works 5 days a week and baby sits on the weekends. When does she get a break?
"Dude, I'm not watching your kids." Is a complete sentence. The only thing that will follow that statement on the topic is "if you leave these kids with me I will call 911 and you can explain why you left you children with a unwilling and unqualified party to the police and cps"
This sounds like some serious middle school crap! What a manipulative bee-notch! NTA! Sounds like GF wanted some free babysitting. NTA! Who gives a crap what the sister thinks? How is having someone like that in the son’s life good for him? The kid is not OP’s responsibility. Shine her spine and just say no. NTA!
Cullinary Grad wants to cater Sis' Wedding. Tell her, I WANT MY SISTER CELEBRATING WITH ME ON MY WEDDING, NOT WORKING IT. You will be more than happy to let her and her potential business partner 'experiment on your family' in the future- specifically so they can get experience in less stressful events. Maybe they start 'catering' the family Saturday Brunch, or Sunday lunch, or Sports Game parties, or Holiday meals, or Birthday parties. Tell her: your career is just starting, and I PROMISE, I will inlist your talents in the future, and I will support your career. But I want to share this day with my sister by my side.
My mom watches my kids during the week (I works nights) I never ask her to watch them on the weekends. We both get our time off on the weekends. I always work my days off from the kids when she WANTS them on our days off. Op's daughter need to a get a sitter to watch her kids on the weekend. Grandparents have the right to live their lives too.
It is NOT the grandparents responsibility to take care of kids that you had. Grandparents had the life of child responsibility and didn't spred their legs for your kids. Get child care. Expecting it is not right.
I'm sorry, I know OP in Story 2 should not be suckered into babysitting when they don't want to or aren't comfortable with it, but I am laughing so hard picturing OP grabbing their shoes and racing their friend out the door! 🤣
Perhaps not need but definitely a want. How do you not see the benefits of having an extra adult around that is motivated to look after your childs best interests? OP is pissed at his sis because she was loyal to her life long best friend who I might add was very much against the divorce. A divorce that took over 2 years. So Sis is loyal, enduring, willing to enter into conflict in order to try yo see right done on behalf of those she in protecting. Other than OP being pissy why would he not want this woman in his childs corner? The future is unpredictable you never know what resources you may need to draw upon. It is wise to develop and retain as many as possible.
@@Snipergoat1 no one needs a monster that will work against you and Op sister will only cause trouble for Op Edit with a family member like her who needs enemies
OP NTA. But I don't get why Danny stayed friends with Paula when he moved on and started dating and got engaged to someone else. Paula actions were despicable.
OP that had the mother do the bait and switch to try and get out the house. When my son was a baby we took him everywhere. It was the first time we left him with his grandparents that we realized how frequently we kept and eye on him while in the car driving. Parents that leave their kids without getting proper supervision are not parents. They are negligent.
Lets make one thing PERFECTLY clear. Paula does NOT love your friend. She just like the attention he likely gave her, and she knows FULL well that she isn’t being excluded for just liking him, she’s being excluded because she tried to break up an engagement of one of your good friends. She sounds like someone who never grew up high school, it’s not wonder she doesn’t have any friends. NTA OP and cut her off completely
1st story, well Paula missed her chance. She could have asked out Danny way before Ashley came into the picture, but she didn't. You snooze, you lose. It's not the 1950s, where only the men ask out the women. In today's world, women should ask out men as long as they are single.
I have to laugh also at OP trying to leave before the mother with the mother's yelling kids in the background. Parts of me want to say it was just going to be a quick stop at the grocery store so no faul. But, you not being comfortable watching her kids and her kids acting like little monster and her not allowing you to do the instead does set off alarm.
Oh my goodness grandma duty....Well, there is no such thing. I have 4 grown children and 7 grandchildren....I had my first at 15, another at 17, another at 24 and my last at 27....and a crackhead husband....which is worse than no husband at all. Guess what??? Twenty seven year old mothers of one child DO NOT BURN OUT!!!! 27 year olds have energy for days!!!! Which is why she can work 2 jobs and only need a babysitter. She may get tired after a long day....but burned out she is not. Guess what else??? The average Fifty year old does not have the same energy level of the average twenty seven year old. May have health issues, may be perimenopausal etc. Now if the 50 year old is into health and fitness and eats healthy, has a proper body weight, exercises, gets enough rest does not drink or smoke....then they may have more energy than a 27 year old who doesn't take care of themselves, parties all the time etc. But under average circumstances.... The energy levels are quite different, that 27 year old needs to live within her means, spend her own weekends making memories with her child because they stay little for such a short time (the days can be long sometimes....but the years are short) Money isn't everything, a child doesn't need more things, a bigger car, a bigger house, more gizmos and gadgets....but they do need momma's time....and they do need grandma's time. They don't need momma working every waking moment and trying to earn every dime....and grandma needs to be free to spend time with grandbaby and pursue her own interests. This may be shocking....but grandparents actually are autonomous human beings with their own interests, lives and needs and desires....they are not extras in the story of their children and grandchildren's lives.
The first story, nta and Paula knew Danny loved her but she wanted played hard with him while Danny didn't rock the friendship if he confessed to her, so he never confessed. But now thankfully, Danny had dodged the bullet because Paula isn't nice than everyone thought her to be and now they know what kind of person that Paula is and everyone is rightfully cutting her out.. also, I'll doubt Paula ever like Danny, I'll bet she liked the attention and wanted some guy head over heels over her but never had the courage to speak up.
Fourth story: That last comment: "Not crazy about people calling the daughter the tailpipe because ... if she doesn't get help, she's gonna burn out ... and that's on you." Ever heard of Michael Jackson's "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'"? "If you can't feed the baby/Then don't have a baby/And don't think maybe/If you can't feed the baby." No one told the daughter to have a child and no one damn sure didn't tell her to make sure the baby daddy doesn't stay in the picture. This is all on the _daughter,_ not OP.
Story of the grandmother.. Definitely not the idiot! Being a grandparent doesn’t mean you have to be a free babysitter on weekends after working all week .. it is NOT the job of grandparents! If you want to do an occasional weekend here and there that’s one thing, but, not every one of them!
Daughter Works all the Time and want's Grandma to babysit on the Weekends. The last comment touched on your daughter's health; I'm going to be the one WHO LOOKS OUT FOR THE KID. HE NEVER SEES HIS MOTHER. IF SHE NOW WORKS ALL 7 DAYS, THEN THE BOY IS NOT BEING RAISED BY HIS MOTHER. Instead Grandma, sit down and talk to her about WHAT she wants the money for. Then work together where YOU give her some money to help her meet reasonable goals. The rest of the family could be asked if they want to contribute, but don't expect them to. SHE NEEDS TO SPEND WEEKENDS WITH THAT CHILD, OR HE WILL BE SCARRED WITH EMOTIONAL AND BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS.
To the grandma that thinks she’s being selfish. Don’t! I took care of 2 of my grand babies. For months. They are emt’s and work 48 hour shifts at 2 different counties. And I was watching them every week. Then I had a heart attack. It taught me to say no when needed. I miss my babies. But not enough to go through that again.
Grandma carer story: NTA!! Not even a little bit. My mother suffered through grandparent guilt because she isn't able to do everything with her grandkids that she was with her own children, my sister was a bit of dick constantly using her shitty relationship as a reason for mum to take the kids and she did. She left her kids with my mum for a whole week because she needed to "recenter" herself after another exsplosive argument. That week wrecked my mum and the kids. Ending with my sister going off at my mum and me and my 2 other siblings going off on my sister. Since then and at our insistence she has set boundaries and found peace with not being able to chase a toddler anymore. She's fun Nan that our children have day stays with now.
Re comment on story 2 and calling the police for abandonment after 15 mins elapses into hours: YAY!!! A thousant times YAY!!! So happy it's not just me that thinks that way. Have seen so many threads on forums about people assuming they can demand, threaten, force other people to watch kids by leaving them with unlucky victim. It's extreme, I admit, but there has to be consequences for such selfish, stupid behavior. If you get your kids taken away, it's on YOU, 'cause you weren't willing to care for them YOUR-freakin-lazy-self!!!
Grandmothers don't have a "duty" or obligation to babysit their grandchildren! I was in the same situation and got so exhausted I was constantly sick! I put my food down and told my daughter I wouldn't babysit full time (not just on the weekends) and she didn't like it at first but got used to it. Im healthier now and my granddaughter visits me twice a week and sometimes more if I feel like it. Put your foot down grandmother!
Years ago my sister wanted me to watch my 3 nephews for an hour while she went to the store. She was gone 45 minutes when the eldest boy nearly took the end of his finger off in a door and had to be taken to the hospital. I was too afraid to babysit again for a year.
First story, Paula maybe did like Danny just a tiny bit. Maybe he’s the only man to ever give her some attention and she loved her ego fed. She maybe got offended because she knew he was too scared to ask her out (wonder if she’s have accepted if he dm was brave to ask) but maybe now feel offended that he went and asked out Ashley, maybe made her feel not pretty enough for him to put his fears aside and go ask that girl he likes out. For some (Paula) the most attractive person is the one who no longer gives you a second look. And maybe she couldn’t find anyone and saw what a good bf Danny is to Ashley and felt she missed out. I don’t know I just have too much to say haha
Lol my cousin and his wife use to literally sneak away when I visited and would be gone for hours. Happened to me more times then I can remember, it never once occurred to me to run before they left lol
I once encountered a "Paula" from our friend circle. I tried all summer to start a romantic relationship this girl, "J," but was ultimately (politely but clearly) rebuffed. Fair enough, "J" wasn't into me like that so I backed off. Then, unexpectedly, the universe introduced me to a new girl, "H." We hit it off, great chemistry, and she fit right in to the friend circle. My disappointing summer became a fantastic autumn. By the end of fall, "J" realized her "true" feelings for me all along and really came after me. It was a bit confusing having someone who clearly friend-zoned me for months to suddenly realize we were "meant to be." However, it felt like she didn't really want me as much as she wanted to win against "H." I stuck with "H" and never looked back.
Can Meg maybe do some simple desserts? Individual no bake cheesecakes? Panulitas de boda (Mexican wedding cake cookies? It would go with your taco bar. Mexican hot chocolate cookies? These are fairly easy to do & pretty much foolproof. The cookies would be something fun for your guests to take home. If made a bit smaller the panulitas de boda recipe makes TONS of cookies.
The second story reminds me of my ex brother-in-law he had a work meeting and asked me to babysit my 8 month old niece. I said no problem(I've babysat kids tons before for my brother) but it could only be for a couple hours because I had other things to do that day. After a few hours he texted saying it was running long its happened before so I said it's fine come over right after. An hour still hadn't shown I called he said he had to pick something up. A few more hours I was get mad and called he said he was picking my sister up from work(a 30 minute drive) then would be over. My sister came in to get their daughter she had no idea when she walked in that he was supposed to pick her up 9 hours before. Once she found out she was just as mad as me she apologized and left. Normally I would have dropped her off but my car was down(that was one of the things I had to do that day) or one of my parents would have dropped her off but they were on a trip. I told them this wouldn't be happening again.
Imagine the shock on this lady's face when OP ran away instead of watching her kids 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣. I can just imagine them hurrying up to put on their shoes then the mad dash outside.
Exactly. 🤣🤣😂😂😂 She was going to leave OP with those bad ass kids!
@@annhans3535 Fighting to see which one of them could get out of the door first 🤣🤣🤣
@@anitastafford6617 🤣🤣🤣
If Paula didn't want to be alone, she shouldn't have kissed a committed man. That was predatory
Story 2: Oh my god. OP is hilarious. She literally ran away from kids. 😄 😄 😄
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Isn't it funny how the mother tried to run away from her own children
some people are just horrible with children it's understandable. I love hanging out with my nieces nephews and god children. all the fun with none of the responsibilities. and on the occassions that I get stuck with them more than the allotted time I gave them usually 12 hrs. we have soda ice-cream and a ton of candies for the parents to deal with all the stomach aches and hyper kids afterwards.
That would be me running and running fast as I could
Story 1: NTA She deserves all that is happening to her, i dubt Danny kissed Paula without her consent while he liked her, what did she expected to happend? That she'll be able to ignore him for years, he'll get engaged and once she confesed her feeling he'll ditch his fiance to run into her arms? This woman sounds so self-absorver is disgusting.
'we are her only friends' gee i wonder why?
@@SnowyWolborg: It’s amazing what some people on here call a mistake. Using gravy mix instead of coffee, that’s a mistake, so is putting salt in a drink instead of sugar. What Paula did was a calculated plan of action.
Exactly, she blew her chance.
Yep, that’s exactly what she expected. What a narcissist!😒
I couldn't stop laughing at the Op running out of the house instead of babysitting! It's a brilliant move
No you don’t have to babysit your grandkids. You deserve to have a break and enjoy the life of freedom! Her daughter being a single mother is her daughters problem! Don’t have kids you can’t care for!
I agree
And in regards to the daughter working an extra job on the weekend, by dropping the kids off with your mother you’re making your mother work on the weekend. The daughter is working for wage on the weekend but her mother is not, that’s indentured servitude. I thought we is the world didn’t agree with slavery?
The commenter talking about how daughter is burning herself out is bad seems to think that OP burning herself out for no pay is somehow good. I fail to see the logic. NTA
Why can't the mom and grandma each pay half of the cost of a babysitter for the weekends, Have the other relatives help financially too so it's not all falling on the single mom and grandmother?
yeah the last commentor was.. nope. if she's gonna work weekends, she needs to find childcare. grandma is not obligated to watch the kid and deserves her free weekends.
berating relatives should be met with "oh I'll let her know you can do the babysitting"
Bratty kid story: You can bet you ass she'd be hours, not minutes doing her shopping.
He was dating a new woman for 4 years and then got engaged to her. Then Paula decides to make her move at the engagement announcement. So she plays the victim because everyone then cuts her out because she is trash. The man just announced his engagement to another woman this is not the time for you to make your move and announce that you to are supposed to be together because he once loved you 4 years ago and you now decided that you love him.
@@SnowyWolborg Also, she doesn't want Danny BUT she doesn't want anyone else to be with Danny either! *MAJOR BEACH!*
So it's ok for the grandmother to be burned out and tired. It's the daughter's responsibility balance having children and no blame should go to the grandmother for her daughter's life choices. What would she do if she didn't have a mother or had to go no contact?
OP is selfish and sometimes in life that's a good thing. OP has every right to be selfish in this case because she has already raised her kids, 4 of them. She has been there and done that. NTA. Not sure when this trend started of adults with kids expecting their parents, the grandparents, to be free childcare for them but it needs to end.
Seriously! I said it in another thread but im just in awe at the last comment. Who tf does that person think they are to decide it’s somehow the grandmothers responsibility to burn herself out taking care of kids she didn’t birth! Like wtf, where’s the dad in all this? You know what part of being an adult entails? Not procreating if you’re not in the financial or physical shape to do so! People seem to forget unless you’re a SA victim, you’re choosing to have unprotected sex/not use birth control, which means you’re choosing the outcome of that action if it results in kids. There are so many people who just straight up shouldn’t be parents I swear.
It sounds like the mom is trying to work hard for a better life, but she can’t do that at the expense of her mother’s quality of life!
@@laurenc4138 my father worked his but off to give us everything we wanted, but we never saw him. When he retired he was dead in a year. Looking back i had rather less stuff and see my dad more. If he was home he always was to tired to do anything with us. Have less money is not bad if their is love in the home.
So true and if grandma ever needs elder care or help when she's much much older then her daughter can, without guilt, tell her "no mom, you need to figure all this out yourself."
@@SnowyWolborg Do you think she had a virgin birth? Most of those single moms you're railing against got that way because circumstances *changed* between conception and the time when they're scrambling for childcare. Or they live in a place where abortion is damn near impossible to get. You gonna pay for that 20 year old working part time to get to the state's one clinic during the shockingly short window she has between official conception date (her last period) and when she found out?
Did someone really comment that the grandmother would be at fault if the daughter burns herself out from working too much and raising a child… I’m sorry but it is in no way that grandmother’s responsibility to be full time 8+ hour child care for those kids every single weekend. She didn’t choose to have her daughter get pregnant, and the sad reality is it’s solely on the mother. It’s awful she can’t get a break herself, but burning out your aging parent isn’t the answer! That last commenter was so beyond entitled I can’t even believe that wasn’t sarcasm, like wow, how self centered are you dude!
Story 2
The moment the friend argued she had to run the errand herself my BS alarm started ringing. I imagined OP running to her car olympic style. You can´t bait your family and friends to babysit... for free and the kids behaving like wild animals.
Same. I was like "Oh hell no!" You tell me what you need and I will happily run the errand to get it. And if there's anything else you think of while I'm out, call me to let me know. This was a straight up ploy to weasel out of mom duties for the day. She was probably intending to be gone for hours, shopping or hanging out with friends, maybe hooking up with some guy, etc. She wanted a free babysitter.
@@kitarrah1422 that was my thoughts too she was making an excuse to leave OP with the kids
What is this new trend of woman trying to or just dumping their kids off on whoever?
Indeed. Danny is well out of it. There was a girl in my life who kept coming back whenever she wasn't in a relationship, then would disappear again whenever she found someone. Wouldn't commit to me but got jealous any time that I was seeing someone else, because I was clearly her fall-back guy. i have since managed to distance myself.
Good for you. 👍
Paula got excluded for acting like a predator to someone who has no interest in her. Like the Rolling Stones said, "You can't always get what you want."
The grandmother is a person too. 4 kids raised. It's a treat for help...no idiots but understanding...older is exhausting lol
It’s not grandparents duties to be a babysitter to their grandchildren especially when they work hard themselves. The daughter needs to hire a babysitter for the weekends.
I wonder if that last commenter was one of the relatives pushing the grandmother to take care of the children on the weekend.
@@lyndatuttle my head canon is it's another single mother whose own mother also has strong boundaries.
@@lyndatuttle must be, they are putting the daughter's life choices at the feet of her mother which is absurd.
@@davidcunningham1289 Maybe? Or someone who thinks because the daughter is working hard and trying that it should be OP that works herself into an early grave to provide child cover otherwise if it happens to the daughter "that's on you" which is BS!!
It's not like OP is retired and sitting around doing nothing all day and the people calling her and AH can give up THEIR own time to help the daughter or she can be an actual ADULT and figure out HER childcare issues!!
The last commentator must not have children or grandchildren. That is a lot to ask.
That commenter nailed it. She doesn't "love" Danny. She's mad that he's not lusting after her and in her head, despite being with this other girl for five years, she believed (bc she's an insane narcissist) that he still wanted her. The proposal set her off. If she truly wanted to see if the ship had sailed, she'd have talked to him, not kissed him in front of everyone. Also, she would've done it YEARS AGO.
Paula loved the 'chase' that went on for 7 yrs and now is mad that it the guy moved on.
Her plan B got a new plan A.
Story 1: I had my own Paula, Danny and Ashley in my friend's group when I was much younger, but in this case, Danny DID ask Paula to go out a couple of times but she always refused him, then everytime she found out some other girl was flirting with him she was right back to him until the gild disapeared and then she'll tell Danny that "she was still confused" and refused him once more. It got worst when we realized that she was doing the same with her best female friend. Then, Ashley asked Danny out and he accepted and they started dating; Paula tried her best to broke them out, but Danny was already tired of that, so he cut her out and marry Ashley. It's been more than 10 years, Ashley and Danny are still happily married with two kids, and Paula is still single, not even her bestie is with her becase she also got tired of her
Q
All throughout the story I was thinking it's a Rachel and Ross situation from Friends, I just couldn't believe it
Gilt, not gild.
I wish he would have told her something along the lines of: "You don't know WHAT you want because you're self-centered and stupid!"
I was a single parent. My mom (54 at the time) made sure to let me know her ground rules included no extended babysitting (1-2 hours for Dr appts, etc) and I would carry my own weight.
I'm now a grandma (62) with 2 grandchildren, and I understand being too tired to chase after toddlers! So grandma is NTA.
But mama needs to make sure to not overdo it, and carve out some "me time".
I love being the grandma and from time to time I get a whole day. It's usually just a few hours. It's fun!
That's second story: this sounds like a ploy to force op to babysit. Never let the only parent leave without their kids while you're there.
Paula sounds like what Redpill channel says about how Women actually prefer men who are unavailable rather than ones that are available with no consequences for approaching.
Could also be she took all the pipe she needed (IE had her fun, sowed oats, whatever) for her fun and is now ready to settle
Sometimes women see value in men when they see other women seeing that too. This is from my own experience and women like that should be avoided.
This specially happened after i became a dad wich is disturbing.
Thinks its also the backwards thinking of wanting a man who's a good husband/provider/father/etc. And them being unwilling to put in the time and effort to build that kind of relationship and find that in a person who's SINGLE when there's a MARRIED ready made guy available she can just cheat with!!
Makes me laugh though when if it works the guy later goes on to cheat on THEM and they're surprised
@@Miltz69 Exactly, men do not want a career minded aggressive woman, they want someone that can be a partner with, each having a role, but not the same role. I'm not meaning woman at home and men providing, I mean each partner has a part, I don't see gender in anything, but the people joining their lives need to fit together not clank like two blocks of metal. best example i have of this, my sis and BIL. They both work, but at home he typically takes care of the outside, she does the inside. While it sounds gendered it's not, this was their choices and with no communication, They each played to their strengths and made a better combination for it, they've been married for 25+ years, my parents were the same, both working and each had their part to play to keep the house running, they were married 30+ years before my dad died. The trick is, you have to find the right partner, not right now partner
@@TheOdinCrusade This is scary and I heard it’s worser if you’re a dad in which case that you are.
My grandmother was 67 when her 1st great grandchild was born. I couldn't imagine her babysitting him 1 whole day let alone every weekend and she was retired for almost 15yrs already.
Sister on ex's side: NTA and kids don't need aunts and uncles. So OP's son not knowing his aunt is no detriment to the child. And since the sister isn't really apologetic, she will no doubt make comments about how OP and his girlfriend got together, she will make hurtful comments to/about the child's mother. If anything, having the sister in the child's life could be a detriment until he is old enough to understand the situation.
Is sister incapable if doing basic math?
Or just don't sleep around until your divorce is finalized. They're all wrong in this.
Just because it's socially acceptable, doesn't make it right.
1st story made me laugh, Paula is an AH and is a narcissist/delusional as did she genuinely think that Danny and Ashley's 5yrs relationship and his proposal was all a ploy as he'd been secretly in love with her all this time so she just had to go for it "just in case"???
Paula's an AH who missed her chance if she even likes Danny who has now moved on. If she actually cared about him she'd be happy for him as a friend but can't do that so the group is right to exclude her!!
Also her comment about "you never excluded him when he had feelings for me" is BS as he was respectful enough to not let his feelings become and issue for her or the group whereas she's actively trying to sabotage his relationship and drag everybody else into her BS.
OP NTA
Agreed if she really has feelings for him( which I doubt) she could have told him ,not necessary to kiss him in front of everyone, at least that way when he turned her down it wouldn't have been so awkward and embarrassing. She actually thought he would just drop Ashley and run into her arms?? SMH.
@@arleneclark6369 Paula's reasoning would have been slightly on point if she approached Danny privately and confessed her feelings verbally. It still wouldn't have worked out, but at least they both could have had their dignity.
@@arleneclark6369 TBH Paula is just your classic attention seeking, emotionally needy, drama loving narcissist who believes the rest of the world only exist to act as bit players in their oh so important lives and find it really difficult to comprehend the possibility of others leading fulfilling lives where their existence is of negligible consequence.
2. NTI. Who leaves their kids with a virtual stranger? She said you were not willing to help out? But you did offer to help, by going to the store.
Because I'll bet the 'friend' was going *NOWHERE* near any store! I'll bet she had a date lined up!
"She wants to be a loyal friend. "
Well ipsofacto, by default OP has a clear line in the sand that they aren't getting the benefit of her being "a loyal sister".
Wendy made me laugh as IF it was only 15mins and tomato sauce then no reason why OP couldn't have gone to the shops cause weren't they meant to be having lunch and she's cooking so couldn't she start the rest of the meal whilst OP grabbed the missing sauce??
Her refusing and having "other things to do".... yeah she wanted to have free babysitting and lunch would probably end up being dinner by the time she got back.
@@GabrielleHayes1921 She should tell the others at work what she did. Then if she asks again to come over agree. Then when she tells you she needs to go to the store just tell her she has half an hour and if by 45 minutes she's not back you will consider it child abandonment and call the cops. That will make her either call your bluff or deflate not willing to risk it. If she chances it then she will most likely get her child free life after CPS takes the kids.
Story 2: Something similar happened with me. Went over to visit a friend, but she wasn't home. Her husband and children were though. He said "Oh good, you can watch the kids so I can leave"
Now, I'm childfree and get anxiety when left alone with them, but he assured me my friend would be home soon. The youngest was still in diapers and has health problems which needed medication if his problem came up. The dad didn't know where the medicine was or the diaper bag. He said it would probably be okay though and I stupidly stayed. Friend didn't come home for nearly an hour. Thankfully the medical issue didn't come up but the other issue did. Yeah... when the friend came home I told her I love her but I probably would never watch the kids again unless there was absolutely no one else.
You're nicer than me. I wouldn't have even offered to watch them again under any circumstances.
We teach people how to treat us. You were used.
The last commenter from the grandmother story is so wrong. Yeah, I wouldn't consider the daughter an a**hole because she's a struggling, single mother who could get burnt out without help, but NO none of that is "on" OP. She is not responsible for the fact that her daughter is a single mother or her financial situation and lack of childcare.
Yes thank you! They were so grossly out of line, you can tell how entitled that bum is just by that comment! The mom isn’t an AH but neither is OP! She’s not obligated to take care of her kids, and she shouldn’t have to!
Let's be honest. Paula didn't want Danny, she only wanted the attention and validation that he provided when he chased her.
@@SnowyWolborg I think she might have been trying to dunk on his new girl only to get stuffed. That's gotaa sting the old ego. Still the friend group getting all moralistic sounds a bit overdone. It was a beautiful package that should have ended with her disastrous kiss attempt. You gut you pining dude, you got your stringer girl. Dude gets a new girl and stringer tries to power play and then our villain girl gets humiliated. It's all there no need to get all "Get thee away, Jeezibel." on her. Humiliation and losing her playtoy was fitting comeuppance.
Social isolation is tedious and not really necessary here. Well unless she keeps trying to get with the dude but I think her pride would prevent that. He was her bitch, she won't allow herself to be his bitch or worse, the rejected would be lover who can't let go.
As a grandma, our job is to occasionally see the kids, spoil them and send them back to their parents after about 2-3 hours every other month. My husband's mother watches his sisters kids (My daughter was born when I was a teen) and she takes advantage of it. Do not agree to watch your grandkids on a daily, or even weekend basis.
'she is picking up extra shifts for extra money' so where is that money going if she is not paying the grandma or a daycare?
@@velvety2006 oooh good question 🤔
@@charminglady2011 You can wonder if she is really working those days, depending on what job she has she can probably pick up an extra shift or so but if she is already working the full week then won't labor laws forbade that? or she is just working half a day and is doing whatever she likes the other halves.
I live too far away to be expected to babysit if/when there are grandkids. :)
For the Meg story, I guarantee that she would take more than a few personal liberties with the menu. "That's dumb, I'm gonna do this." A pseudofessional.
1st:
I lost it when she said she was “ready” to like Danny.
How delusional
It's the old string along game, she just held out too long. Her long time "plan B" went on and got himself a new "plan A" The kiss was a Hail Mary when she discovered she held out to long. Yeah it was ill considered and clumsy as all hell but I don't know why the friend group is all wound up over it. Yeah she overplayed and disrespected their relationship and got humiliated for it. From a friend group perspective that should be the end, so long as she back off from there on. These guys are getting all moralistic for no real reason.
“…had to know if she had lost her chance.” Ummm, I think his asking another woman to marry him made it pretty clear he was not interested in her. 🤦🏻♀️
Despite what many may think or profess to think a married person is capable of and maybe even eager to engage with relationships outside of their marriage. As evidence i refer you to the majority of these Reddit stories. If you don't care that the other person is married there are a lot of good sides to being the AP.
Last story: OP needs to tell her mother and her sister "I really appreciate Meg's offer, but I want my sister at my wedding as a guest, celebrating my marriage and being there to share in on my big day. If she does the catering, she will be working and her attention will be on feeding the guests, not being a guest herself. That's why fiance and I have decided to go in another direction." If they still argue with that reasoning, they are even bigger AH's than originally presented.
I was about to make the same comment!
That’s a really good point, and she’d miss them getting married and such so they can unpack and get settled then everything prepared, cook & plated every meal, clean, put away and pack up etc nevermind if theyre also gunna wash everything too.
I can’t believe she’s making op’s wedding all about them! Her not getting her way doesn’t mean op “isn’t supporting” her! Op wants to do Mexican and should be able to do what they want for their own freaking wedding!
She isn’t doing op any favors and in fact on top of food op & hubby don’t want to do they’d also be paying her more then the taco people she would’ve gotten and actually wants! And yeah u can’t do a whole wedding right out of culinary school, like how much food have they made at a time all at once? And do they know how the plan & schedule it? Don’t think she and her friend can do a whole wedding by themselves never mind all the planning, stress & pressure that comes with it! People who work some sort of job for weddings all say how much more stressful and hard it is compared to doing it for some sort of other event.
U need a lot of experience before doing such a job on ur own, and op’s WEDDING or anyones wedding should never be her first job! She’s not doing this for op but herself and ignoring what op wants to do with their own wedding, she’s the damn unsupportive and selfish one here. Their mom needs to stop enabling this behavior too like op’s wedding isn’t her practice run and something she can put on her resume. The family can hire her to cater the next family event.
Story #2 was hilarious!! Its great to hear a light hearted story where someone gets what they deserve plus the story is being read by my favorite narrator!!
Yeah that chick knows damn well she was trying to find a free babysitter for a couple hours and the whole 15 minutes at the grocery store thing was a complete lie. If it was true she wouldn't have gotten so pushy and so mad. Nobody's obligated to watch the children that you chose to have.
Right! My jaw dropped when op said she literally ran out of the house after her screaming at her to come back! People are literally insane I stg lol
I think the one commenter was right, she probably pulled this BS with all of her actual friends and family and none of them would fall for it anymore so she decided to start in on acquaintances. She made plans and used this whole “let’s hang out I’ll make dinner” thing as a ruse, she would’ve been gone for HOURS doing lord knows what and pawning her kids off on basically a stranger. I like my coworkers but I don’t know or trust any of them enough to dog sit for me, let alone watch my kids if I had them.
@@laurenc4138 yeah she's most definitely already gone through all her family and friends trying to pull this scam
Oh, God. Paula watched way too many romcoms and the type from Hallmark.
Lol, I was thinking the same thing. Maybe she should rewatch my best friend's wedding
separted for a year and a half, and she didn't believe it 🤦♀
The audacity of that woman to call genuine Mexican dishes *taco bell catering.*
That's offensive to say a culture is a white franchise.
Why is Mexican food not fancy to her? We have formal events too! Tacos obviously aren't the only things we eat
I love tacos. If I go to a wedding and tacos are on the menu I'd be over the damn moon in Joy.
@@jessicajohnson5817 It sounds great and Mexican food fills well too so you probably wont be hungry after the party
I have been to a wedding that was catered by a burrito/taco restaurant and it was awesome! They had plenty of options not just for meat eaters but vegans and vegetarians. Not every wedding has to follow the traditional sit down service reception. Weddings are suppose to be fun and memorable.
1st story: that is sexual harassment. she is lucky she isnt getting charged
Op is sly fox, she figured out 15 minutes lie. Everyone knows that’s code for watch my kids for hours or days. Op you dodged a major bullet. Bravo lol.
Agree and to me the biggest clue was she didn’t try to calm the kids down because she was hoping that when she got back (hours later most likely) they be tired knowing that she can’t asked again
Edit Ok the biggest clue would be that Op wasn’t allowed to buy the tomatoes sauce
On that 3rd story about the grandma having to watch the grandchild....First off NTA in general but my comment is more about that last comment to that story, whoever said that stuff is the idiot. That comment pretty much said that the grandma should just suck it up and if she doesn't saying it would be her fault if something happened to the daughter and/or grandchild. That person needs to get their head out of their asses
It might have been one of the hypocrite relatives
You were separated and had a kid with another woman. You ARE an adulterer. You DID cheat on your wife. You were still married. Get a divorce first to avoid this in the future.
I agree! I like how he tries to brush it off but he was still a married man. To me it's an affair. Whether they(the married couple) had feelings for each other or not..
The stupid bleeding heart comment saying it’s on the grandma to look after the grandchild - it’s not on her the child is not hers
I'm sorry but when did it become the responsibility of the grandparents to babysit? This is what I drilled into my children's heads: make sure you can raise your children because I won't. Occasionally helping out is one thing but expecting me to give up every weekend to babysit is a hard no. 🤷♀️
My mom used to babysit all the time and it was so freaking tiring, I told her a lot of times that she should limit it but she gave me the 'my house my rules' spiel. so okay fine, then I move out and I did. Haven't regretted it one bit and now she is sometimes frustrated with how normal it has become that the kids come to her whenever it's convenient for the parents lol.
Third story. Tell sister and parents no I won't let that poisonous TVVAT contact with my son. Parents are circling the drain as well.
This Grandmother deserves to have a break too. She has raised 4 kids and she still works 5 days a week. The daughter needs to set up childcare with someone else. Sometimes is alrigh but this is not her job. So she works 5 days a week and baby sits on the weekends. When does she get a break?
"Dude, I'm not watching your kids." Is a complete sentence.
The only thing that will follow that statement on the topic is "if you leave these kids with me I will call 911 and you can explain why you left you children with a unwilling and unqualified party to the police and cps"
I'm glad He? ran. I need to go to the store , AFTER INVITING SOMEONE OVER??
This sounds like some serious middle school crap! What a manipulative bee-notch! NTA!
Sounds like GF wanted some free babysitting. NTA!
Who gives a crap what the sister thinks? How is having someone like that in the son’s life good for him?
The kid is not OP’s responsibility. Shine her spine and just say no. NTA!
Cullinary Grad wants to cater Sis' Wedding. Tell her, I WANT MY SISTER CELEBRATING WITH ME ON MY WEDDING, NOT WORKING IT.
You will be more than happy to let her and her potential business partner 'experiment on your family' in the future- specifically so they can get experience in less stressful events. Maybe they start 'catering' the family Saturday Brunch, or Sunday lunch, or Sports Game parties, or Holiday meals, or Birthday parties. Tell her: your career is just starting, and I PROMISE, I will inlist your talents in the future, and I will support your career. But I want to share this day with my sister by my side.
My mom watches my kids during the week (I works nights) I never ask her to watch them on the weekends. We both get our time off on the weekends. I always work my days off from the kids when she WANTS them on our days off. Op's daughter need to a get a sitter to watch her kids on the weekend. Grandparents have the right to live their lives too.
1. NTI. She is absolutely in the wrong and no way she spins it makes it make sense.
It is NOT the grandparents responsibility to take care of kids that you had. Grandparents had the life of child responsibility and didn't spred their legs for your kids. Get child care. Expecting it is not right.
Nta. She needs to find her own child care
I'm sorry, I know OP in Story 2 should not be suckered into babysitting when they don't want to or aren't comfortable with it, but I am laughing so hard picturing OP grabbing their shoes and racing their friend out the door! 🤣
Paula is only wanting Danny because she can’t have him.
“For your sons sake”
OPs son doesn’t need an aunt. Just saying, there is zero benefit for the kid one way or another.
Perhaps not need but definitely a want. How do you not see the benefits of having an extra adult around that is motivated to look after your childs best interests? OP is pissed at his sis because she was loyal to her life long best friend who I might add was very much against the divorce. A divorce that took over 2 years. So Sis is loyal, enduring, willing to enter into conflict in order to try yo see right done on behalf of those she in protecting. Other than OP being pissy why would he not want this woman in his childs corner? The future is unpredictable you never know what resources you may need to draw upon. It is wise to develop and retain as many as possible.
@@Snipergoat1 no one needs a monster that will work against you and Op sister will only cause trouble for Op
Edit with a family member like her who needs enemies
Last time to put down your foot than. You raised your kids.
Do your Taco Bar, it's your wedding !
I would imagine they(the Taco bar owners)would do it with a wedding style so it wouldn’t be just like a cheap taco stand
@@joimumu absolutely I'm sure something like that can be make to look super cool!
I'm not watching your kids. Runs out. Haha.
OP NTA. But I don't get why Danny stayed friends with Paula when he moved on and started dating and got engaged to someone else. Paula actions were despicable.
OP that had the mother do the bait and switch to try and get out the house. When my son was a baby we took him everywhere. It was the first time we left him with his grandparents that we realized how frequently we kept and eye on him while in the car driving. Parents that leave their kids without getting proper supervision are not parents. They are negligent.
Story 1: what is this “My Best Friend’s Wedding” nonsense! God the second hand embarrassment I felt.
1st story:Paula played stupid games and won stupid prizes
Oh, the karma of the friendzone. Beautiful resolution. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Lets make one thing PERFECTLY clear. Paula does NOT love your friend. She just like the attention he likely gave her, and she knows FULL well that she isn’t being excluded for just liking him, she’s being excluded because she tried to break up an engagement of one of your good friends.
She sounds like someone who never grew up high school, it’s not wonder she doesn’t have any friends.
NTA OP and cut her off completely
Last Story: The sister of the OP could offer to cater the next holiday meal instead.
1st story, well Paula missed her chance. She could have asked out Danny way before Ashley came into the picture, but she didn't. You snooze, you lose. It's not the 1950s, where only the men ask out the women. In today's world, women should ask out men as long as they are single.
If she wanted a babysitter, SHE SHOULD HIRE A BABYSITTER💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
I have to laugh also at OP trying to leave before the mother with the mother's yelling kids in the background.
Parts of me want to say it was just going to be a quick stop at the grocery store so no faul. But, you not being comfortable watching her kids and her kids acting like little monster and her not allowing you to do the instead does set off alarm.
Story 2: NTA. "Why can't you just help out?". If that doesn't give away that she was tricking OP into babysitting, I don't know what is.
Op did offer to go and buy the missing ingredients so she is not the AH
Exactly, she knew damn well what she was doing.
Oh my goodness grandma duty....Well, there is no such thing.
I have 4 grown children and 7 grandchildren....I had my first at 15, another at 17, another at 24 and my last at 27....and a crackhead husband....which is worse than no husband at all.
Guess what??? Twenty seven year old mothers of one child DO NOT BURN OUT!!!!
27 year olds have energy for days!!!!
Which is why she can work 2 jobs and only need a babysitter.
She may get tired after a long day....but burned out she is not.
Guess what else???
The average Fifty year old does not have the same energy level of the average twenty seven year old. May have health issues, may be perimenopausal etc.
Now if the 50 year old is into health and fitness and eats healthy, has a proper body weight, exercises, gets enough rest does not drink or smoke....then they may have more energy than a 27 year old who doesn't take care of themselves, parties all the time etc.
But under average circumstances....
The energy levels are quite different, that 27 year old needs to live within her means, spend her own weekends making memories with her child because they stay little for such a short time (the days can be long sometimes....but the years are short)
Money isn't everything, a child doesn't need more things, a bigger car, a bigger house, more gizmos and gadgets....but they do need momma's time....and they do need grandma's time.
They don't need momma working every waking moment and trying to earn every dime....and grandma needs to be free to spend time with grandbaby and pursue her own interests.
This may be shocking....but grandparents actually are autonomous human beings with their own interests, lives and needs and desires....they are not extras in the story of their children and grandchildren's lives.
The first story, nta and Paula knew Danny loved her but she wanted played hard with him while Danny didn't rock the friendship if he confessed to her, so he never confessed. But now thankfully, Danny had dodged the bullet because Paula isn't nice than everyone thought her to be and now they know what kind of person that Paula is and everyone is rightfully cutting her out.. also, I'll doubt Paula ever like Danny, I'll bet she liked the attention and wanted some guy head over heels over her but never had the courage to speak up.
Fourth story: That last comment: "Not crazy about people calling the daughter the tailpipe because ... if she doesn't get help, she's gonna burn out ... and that's on you." Ever heard of Michael Jackson's "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'"? "If you can't feed the baby/Then don't have a baby/And don't think maybe/If you can't feed the baby." No one told the daughter to have a child and no one damn sure didn't tell her to make sure the baby daddy doesn't stay in the picture. This is all on the _daughter,_ not OP.
Story of the grandmother.. Definitely not the idiot! Being a grandparent doesn’t mean you have to be a free babysitter on weekends after working all week .. it is NOT the job of grandparents! If you want to do an occasional weekend here and there that’s one thing, but, not every one of them!
The grand kids story: The last commenter was suck jerk. How is all this on OP and why won't another family members help.
Story 2, someone was looking for a free babysitter!
Daughter Works all the Time and want's Grandma to babysit on the Weekends. The last comment touched on your daughter's health; I'm going to be the one WHO LOOKS OUT FOR THE KID. HE NEVER SEES HIS MOTHER. IF SHE NOW WORKS ALL 7 DAYS, THEN THE BOY IS NOT BEING RAISED BY HIS MOTHER. Instead Grandma, sit down and talk to her about WHAT she wants the money for. Then work together where YOU give her some money to help her meet reasonable goals. The rest of the family could be asked if they want to contribute, but don't expect them to. SHE NEEDS TO SPEND WEEKENDS WITH THAT CHILD, OR HE WILL BE SCARRED WITH EMOTIONAL AND BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS.
To the grandma that thinks she’s being selfish. Don’t! I took care of 2 of my grand babies. For months. They are emt’s and work 48 hour shifts at 2 different counties. And I was watching them every week. Then I had a heart attack. It taught me to say no when needed. I miss my babies. But not enough to go through that again.
A taco bar at a wedding. I see stains and debris all over the guests, all those expensive white table clothes, and dropped all over the floor.
Grandma carer story: NTA!! Not even a little bit. My mother suffered through grandparent guilt because she isn't able to do everything with her grandkids that she was with her own children, my sister was a bit of dick constantly using her shitty relationship as a reason for mum to take the kids and she did. She left her kids with my mum for a whole week because she needed to "recenter" herself after another exsplosive argument. That week wrecked my mum and the kids. Ending with my sister going off at my mum and me and my 2 other siblings going off on my sister. Since then and at our insistence she has set boundaries and found peace with not being able to chase a toddler anymore. She's fun Nan that our children have day stays with now.
Re comment on story 2 and calling the police for abandonment after 15 mins elapses into hours: YAY!!! A thousant times YAY!!! So happy it's not just me that thinks that way. Have seen so many threads on forums about people assuming they can demand, threaten, force other people to watch kids by leaving them with unlucky victim. It's extreme, I admit, but there has to be consequences for such selfish, stupid behavior. If you get your kids taken away, it's on YOU, 'cause you weren't willing to care for them YOUR-freakin-lazy-self!!!
Grandmothers don't have a "duty" or obligation to babysit their grandchildren! I was in the same situation and got so exhausted I was constantly sick! I put my food down and told my daughter I wouldn't babysit full time (not just on the weekends) and she didn't like it at first but got used to it. Im healthier now and my granddaughter visits me twice a week and sometimes more if I feel like it. Put your foot down grandmother!
Years ago my sister wanted me to watch my 3 nephews for an hour while she went to the store. She was gone 45 minutes when the eldest boy nearly took the end of his finger off in a door and had to be taken to the hospital. I was too afraid to babysit again for a year.
Good afternoon XO!
The daughter chose to be a single mother. That doesn’t obligate grandma to pick up the slack.
First story, Paula maybe did like Danny just a tiny bit. Maybe he’s the only man to ever give her some attention and she loved her ego fed. She maybe got offended because she knew he was too scared to ask her out (wonder if she’s have accepted if he dm was brave to ask) but maybe now feel offended that he went and asked out Ashley, maybe made her feel not pretty enough for him to put his fears aside and go ask that girl he likes out. For some (Paula) the most attractive person is the one who no longer gives you a second look. And maybe she couldn’t find anyone and saw what a good bf Danny is to Ashley and felt she missed out. I don’t know I just have too much to say haha
Paula wanted Danny as a backup man.
Caterer: I was at a wedding that was catered by a local Mexican restaurant. It was probably one of the better wedding meals I've had, to be honest.
Lol my cousin and his wife use to literally sneak away when I visited and would be gone for hours. Happened to me more times then I can remember, it never once occurred to me to run before they left lol
The background music sounds a bit like sex and the city 😂
Next time OP visits she should bring the sauce lol
I once encountered a "Paula" from our friend circle. I tried all summer to start a romantic relationship this girl, "J," but was ultimately (politely but clearly) rebuffed. Fair enough, "J" wasn't into me like that so I backed off. Then, unexpectedly, the universe introduced me to a new girl, "H." We hit it off, great chemistry, and she fit right in to the friend circle. My disappointing summer became a fantastic autumn. By the end of fall, "J" realized her "true" feelings for me all along and really came after me. It was a bit confusing having someone who clearly friend-zoned me for months to suddenly realize we were "meant to be." However, it felt like she didn't really want me as much as she wanted to win against "H." I stuck with "H" and never looked back.
Can Meg maybe do some simple desserts?
Individual no bake cheesecakes?
Panulitas de boda (Mexican wedding cake cookies? It would go with your taco bar.
Mexican hot chocolate cookies?
These are fairly easy to do & pretty much foolproof. The cookies would be something fun for your guests to take home. If made a bit smaller the panulitas de boda recipe makes TONS of cookies.
Paula clearly didn’t give Danny any signal that she likes him if he picked up Ashley immediately
If I hear "don't be selfish" ONE MORE TIME. Just try me....
The second story reminds me of my ex brother-in-law he had a work meeting and asked me to babysit my 8 month old niece. I said no problem(I've babysat kids tons before for my brother) but it could only be for a couple hours because I had other things to do that day. After a few hours he texted saying it was running long its happened before so I said it's fine come over right after. An hour still hadn't shown I called he said he had to pick something up. A few more hours I was get mad and called he said he was picking my sister up from work(a 30 minute drive) then would be over. My sister came in to get their daughter she had no idea when she walked in that he was supposed to pick her up 9 hours before. Once she found out she was just as mad as me she apologized and left. Normally I would have dropped her off but my car was down(that was one of the things I had to do that day) or one of my parents would have dropped her off but they were on a trip. I told them this wouldn't be happening again.