They live in a constant state of survival mode. It is absolutely exhausting for them. That's why they hate it when they see people relaxing and enjoying themselves and being Carefree.
@Mark Kenny After a while, they start to believe that everyone thinks the way they do. And then they run across somebody who's carefree and very silly and comical. Throwing all caution to the wind being vulnerable. Friendly and maybe even a little bit of an idiot. You know, that's funny person that makes you laugh that person was a little eccentric. And they can't stand it because they could never be that way.
@Mark Kenny Anything causes narcissistic Injury to them. It's a battle where there is no battle and argument where there is no argument. It's all they have inside of them just toxicity.
As someone obsessed with watching and learning every narcissism youtube channel, this one nails it the best. And, I would agree with the last suggestion of leaving the vicinity of the raging narcissist as soon as they start. The only issue with that is, the narcissist is not dumb, they know you will leave once they start screaming at you. So, they do it in places where you can’t leave, like in a car, or on vacation. You may have just dropped 5K on a Rome apartment dream vacation and the second day in, they blow up like Mt Vesuvius. The dirty little secret is that the screaming and yelling isn’t just them acting out like a three year old, they also want to hurt you, and they want to see that they hurt you. This is called being sadistic, because they like it, and it makes them feel important. So, you are left with trying to never be alone with your honey, or always having an escape route. This, is no way to live, and neither is living with a narcissist.
Victims might not have bruises and scars on the outside, but the inside might be full of them. Narcs should be locked up somewhere and the key thrown into the sea.
@@thevorpalone1045 I think that we are all in need of a good venting now and then, based upon what state this country is in at the moment, but yes it's a bit harsh, however, these types are not capable of rehabilitation! You do realize that? It's sad, though, so I can see your point. It's extremely difficult to forgive someone who literally took, stole, beat down, used and abused you for their own insecurities. They don't understand the concept of love or humanity, like DJT. It points to generational abuse and severe family dysfunction!!! Take care and stay safe my friend. I apologize if my words caused you discomfort. 😉❤
@@thevorpalone1045 Narssacists can do a lot of damage to their victims psyche, so bitterness, anger, confusion, shame, depression and anxiety are created in every survivor. Everyone has a right to vent, but without causing more damage to the fragile psyche or PTSD of others. I have complex PTSD from a lifetime of abuses from my 2 narssacistic personality disorder parents, and now that I have less contact with them, I am able to heal. Sometimes a good laugh, or chuckle relieved some of the negative effects of that abuse for myself and others. I really hope that you are able to heal and find happiness. Take care. 😉❤
This info is 100 % true. The RAGE I witnessed when I disagreed with my ex narc BF was beyond any anger I'd ever seen. I really can't describe how loud and hate-filled it was. It was childish too, in a way. I lost all respect for him after seeing him lit up with anger. He could not stand that we did not agree on Religion, politics, values, etc. He hated that he couldn't talk me into agreeing with him. I guess I rationalized the Red flags I saw for the year we dated. He never raged until I let him move in with me. I could do that because my late Mother had some strong covert narc behaviors and I didn't realize boundaries existed. DON'T IGNORE RED FLAGS !!!!! DON'T IGNORE YOUR INTUITION !!!!!!
Same after 3 years I didnt see the rage until after we moved in together, the red flags were so subtle it left me confused so I think women and men need to be extremely picky and cut people off at the slightest pit feeling in the stomach if that makes sense.
Experienced this many times, she absolutley flipped her lid, like a total nut job, and you can do nothing to diffuse this, and it can go on for hours. They seem possessed by some sort of evil spirit.
I have seen the mask fall off and what I saw was not human. It was a huge smile with drool coming from the corner of her lip. My ex-wife that was a high Spectrum narcissist look like a demon. When I pointed out what she was doing. She said no, I'm not it's your imagination. She did that several times pretty much any time. She hurt me and she loved every moment of it and again according to her. It was my imagination.
@@greenspider1598 Your Ex wife could so easily be my Ex partner, strange how they all follow the same pattern, must be a textbook on Narc Abuse they have that we don't know about. We never knew these people, they never existed only in our imagination.
@@theraven1850 Yes, they all do the same thing. It's like they all. Think the same That's why when you understand all this and you survive this and you're no longer a victim, but a Survivor and you run across another narcissist. You can tear them apart with psychology. I had somebody say something to me at work. Once I literally looked at him and said are you projecting towards me? He mediately walked away and no longer would work with me. Trust your gut instinct. It is a sixth sense and it actually work. I will never allow myself to be a victim against abuse against broken down to or even have somebody raise their voice to me after years upon years of abuse. It will not work. I'm like a pitbull. I'm like the anti narcissist now. Oh and being manipulated. Good luck. But yes, they all do the same thing. It's so transparent. It's actually, comical
I remember my mother in one of her uncontrollable rages like it was yesterday. She was screaming and whipping my older brother with a belt. Now mind you we were in our late teens. Shes 5'4 and we're 6 foot. She's swings the belt at him and he blocks it with his arm while laying on his bed. My brother says "oww" and starts laughing. Then I start laughing. And at that moment she lost her power and control and never whipped us again. She knew at that moment she had to use mind manipulation to control her adult children. The tool was money and lies. Money is the license to abuse especially if you have a lot of it. They know exactly what they are doing.
Sounds like my mom. The moment it happened for me I was 14 and my mom jumped on me slapping me while I was sitting in a desk chair. She was screaming " why don't you ever talk to me".I fell back in my chair up against my closet door. I leaned forward in my chair and threw her across my room. The look of absolute shock on her face was priceless. It shocked me to because she's obese.
That's when it's time to start plotting and get an afterschool job (or make one to earn some money) save and get your own place. Theyll become even more angry over the fact they have no one to control or throw their irregular rages onto.
Divorcing one! Unpredictable, manipulative, toxic person. The narcissist rage is frightening. They are good at only doing this behind closed doors, so their charming persona is not affected outside the house. They are jealous of their partner, children and pets. They never accept responsibility and never apologise. 30 years with this.
@@MrsDavis-vm8tq it was surreal. My narc abuser’s behavior had been escalating but I (like probably most of us here) used gray rock method, observe don’t absorb technique, and I believe it sent him into a narcissistic rage also fueled w steroids. Trust & believe, this demonic POS-he’s dead to me.
Waiting my entire life to be pregnant, my narcissistic partner raged at me ( for nothing) after acting like he was the proud father to be to strangers. I went into shock. He then love bombed me and then followed that with breaking numerous boundaries. I broke down completely. The baby died shortly after. Still trying to escape. My mother and sister passed away before meeting him and I have nothing. My faith in God is all that keeps me going.
You don't need God. There is no God. You are your own rock. Everyone will betray you, even or especially "God". Live for YOU, not for "God". Put your faith in YOURSELF not a "God". Why would you have a relationship with an entity that created you and then allowed or positioned you to get abused? I wouldn't have anything to do with such an individual, even if one such entity exists. Why have faith in a creator that sits back and allows you to be violated and exploited by "His" other creations? It seems to me, if there is a "God" he is SURELY an infantile, predatory malignant grandiose Narcissist...and we know what we're supposed to do with narcissists, GO NO CONTACT!!!!
Omg!!! This was my mother!!! She would fly into a rage and scream at me, slap me, beat me in the head!!! All over something stupid!!! She didn't do this to my brothers. It was impossible to defend myself. I lived in fear of her!!! She called me names, and said I'd never amount to anything. God life with her was hell!!!
Mine told me, very matter of factly, that he felt better after raging at me. He also usually fell asleep afterwards, and them blamed me for making him tired and waste time.
Hi Nancy L. The blaming game is so damaging. It makes us feel confused about who we are to a point where we start to doubt our own sanity. That's how evil they are. Hope you're feeling free
Nancy L I believe they have evil spirits attach to them. Is my opinion. I deal with silent treatment. But today. I told him. Idk. I walked away. He did speak to me all afternoon. It is 10:10 pm I am not going to beg apologize or negotiate. I am tiered.
@@normadeluna3349 There you go. Get off the emotional roller coaster no longer play the game anymore. And that is all it is a game of manipulation and control stop playing the game. Watch them scramble and try to get control again. It's actually really pathetic. Remember you're dealing with a child not an adult.
Have experienced this over 15 years and ended up with cancer... the stress of living with it is just so immense. No physical abuse it was all mental. His mouth always foamed!!
My late mother was a narc, and I've gone no contact with my sister and her three daughters. They eventually showed their true colours. Awful people. Life feels better, no more walking on eggshells or putting up with their shit. Living well is the best revenge. Congratulations to you all for also seeing the light. We shall overcome.
I was married to a narcissist for 6 years. There is no words to explain the mental abuse they can do. The lies the cheating the lack of empathy the rages she would do to me was the worst feeling in the world. I attempted suicide 2 times. I was completely convinced there was something wrong with me. After she would cheat and I’d literally catch her she would never say sorry just blame it all on me and I would be the one apologizing to her for “making her do that to me” I have been diagnosed with ptsd now and severe depression and anxiety. I have panic attacks now. Not ONCE in 6 years she has never said sorry I’ve been in a metal home for a couple weeks twice. And both times I was in there she showed up and completely manipulated my counselor and tell them I’ve always been like this and they would believe her of course and I got to the point she broke me completely. Still blames me and takes no responsibility whatsoever. These people are pure hatred and evil. To anyone who has read this I pray for you and would never wish this on anyone. They do not love you. They do not care whatsoever about you. All they want you for is to make them look and feel better about themselves. They have ZERO empathy for what they do. U cannot fix them no matter how hard u try and the longer u wait to stick it out hoping they will change the more they will take from you. They have no soul. No regret or remorse. I’ve begged her literally crying on her and she says “I don’t have time for this bullshit be a fucking man and grow up”. They will ALWAYS try to one up you if u so much as go against them and call them out.
Drew All the love you poured into her pour into you love you Homie putting God first and you Shall come out all the brainwash and confusion she did to you which is a form of Witchcraft devaluing you and your Manhood Stand up and Believe in you and your life Praying for you Homie
There is no remedy except escape. Every time my 1st husband would rage, he would begin with, “If it weren’t for YOU... (fill in the blank with his latest bitch)”. He would make ridiculous demands, & when I complied, he would move the goalposts to a more extreme demand. Eventually I took my children & left. After a week, I spoke to my husband by phone, & he told me that I needn’t have spent the money to move, & that he would have been glad to help me. They will demean & devalue anything they they cannot control. I had to interact with this man, because we had children. Even when our children were grown, he insulted me EVERY TIME he saw me. Eventually, however, he developed Alzheimer’s. The last time I saw him, he looked at me, pointed at me, & said, “I know you!” And I simply answered “YES, you do!” And I got up & walked away. And that was one of the happiest moments of my life, because it was the FIRST TIME since I married him, at the age of 21, that he could not insult me, because HE DIDN’T KNOW WHO I WAS!” He is dead now. And no one misses him, believe me.
My covert narc didn't rage at me one time in 50 years. Not one. Covert's don't do that. They simply crawl off in silence when their mad and plot and plan their next deadly attack on you. I lived it for long enough to develop trauma bonds and CPTSD. His most used form of punishment to me was the silent treatment paired with completely ignoring me-for years. It went on for years, and then decades. He spent the last 15 years of our marriage never looking at me or looking me in the eye. I finally threw him out, kept him away and divorced him going no contact. He was shocked and tried hoovering. When he could see I was done, he was finally done. I'm also now a life coach.
My mother raged at me as a child and my Step dad must've said something because she scared me that much, and now as an adult she is terrifying in her 70's.
I disagree with any generalization of how a covert may act and I know my ex Husb.was a covert with whom I lived for 27 years. He had rages at me and our daughter and also did the isolating and emotional abuse and or intimidation. Our daughter grew up trying to tiptoe on eggshells everyday. He also had Bipolar so it was a roller coaster ride. He suddenly discarded us and now we are both free and trying to recover from the damage he did. For me dealing with guilt for not getting our daughter removed from that environment, however even if you leave and get custody it is likely the game playing will continue. Once you have been tangled up with these people it’s a process to recover no matter what. It is ongoing and you must be patient with yourself and get support - whether that is church, channels like this family or friends you can trust are not “ flying monkeys”, it is good to have someone to talk to and learn from. God Bless you to anyone in this situation❤️
I lived 15 years with a covert narc up until 2 years ago. He had many outbursts, but the the last and most scariest came when we were on the way to the supermarket in the car ( a 5 min drive), we were talking and I raised my voice at him and out of the blue he screamed at me and while driving at 60 km and rammed on the handbrake, cars in both directions. The car slid and spun around to the other direction on the other side of the road on the grass verge. After that acted like nothing happened. This was the worst and the last and one time I’ll always remember
You’ve done the best job of explaining the trauma bond I’ve ever heard. I never full understood how that worked before, the cycle of abuse and kindness makes sense, it’s how they get you to discard yourself trying to please them, it’s a way for them to become your puppeteer.
Island Girl Ruby I can see that, because the narcissist becomes the narcissist by thinking “they did this to me and I’m going to make sure no one ever does this to me again, I’m going to be the greatest and then they’ll regret what they did to me, they probably did it to me cause they recognize my greatness and can’t stand it! I’ll show them!! I’ll show anyone who crosses me!!” Then they repeat the abuse cycle over and over again, creating other narcissists.
It's extremely difficult to maintain civility and status quo when such base narcissistic behaviors are so prevalent. The strength I've displayed to endure it will only serve me going forward. I'll never make this mistake again.
hah! I'm laughing at the idea that narcissistic rage is explainable :) For children it is an absolutely terrifying thing when you have to scatter like mice.
Wow, you've just described the worst six and a half years of my life/marriage, in just fifteen minutes. It was hell and I'm so glad it is over. He used to scare me so much that I nearly lost control of bodily functions, I would shake and tremble in fear and my legs turned to jelly so much that I could barely walk away from him....mostly I was too scared to move. He is a well known musician with adoring fans, but if they knew who he really is he'd be playing to an empty room.
frailingbadly so charming on the outside hey glad your out and yes the body is smarter than our hearts or our minds I have trained myself to listen but this was one of the things taken from me as I was groomed by my mother in particular to not trust myself and put up with bad behaviour and the idea that a child regulates and is responsible for adult behaviour 🙋 peace be with you
@@kerrycosato Thank you. Yes, I guess that's why they are called 'gut feelings'. I wish I had paid attention earlier. I hope that you are ok now. All the best. x
Wow! Finally a video that sheds light on the subject of Narcissistic Rage. Thank you!👍🏾😀 The narcissistic rage is intense and if you stay exposed to long, they will cause you to react in anger. My ex-wife would rage, and then would suddenly act like nothing happened. She would rage until I would make an emotional reaction. “Walking on eggshells and landmines between the cracks while a person is lobbing grenades at you,” will cause you to react. Once I reacted to her rage, she would then start behaving like an “innocent lamb,” and the she would call me “crazy” or say I am “mentally ill” after I reacted to her abuse. She would get “one inch” away from my face; yelling, screaming or saying hurtful word to cause me to react. She literally would back me into a corner. It was crazy. After her rages, she would tell others about my reaction to her, while leaving out what she did to me to cause me to react. She also used gaslighting and silent treatments as weapons routinely....drove me nuts to the point where I questioned my sanity. I would visit psychologist, counselors and therapist on a routine basis; not one recognized what was occurring in my relationship. By time I would got to therapy, I ended up appearing like the narcissist, because my emotions would be raw and my wife would appear to be innocent. The therapist would end up colluding with my wife; leaving me to feel crazy, bewildered and emotionally devastated. I would constantly leave a therapy session asking my self...”what just happened?!l. (Routinely; always worse off.) I had two narcissist in my life simultaneously, her mother; so imagine my experience for years and years. I felt like I was a “ping pong” ball caught between two paddles with players seeking to break the ball. 😬😞
It is not personal. That is what I learned from my relationship with a covert narcissist person. My ex is a child in a mature body. She used several methods such as love bombing, silent treatment. These are people who have no confident.
I beg to differ. My experience has been that it is VERY personal. And "no confidence" doesn't even begin to sum it up. If that's all it was for you, you're lucky.
It seems it kevin, but they are completely self referential. What they are doing to you is all about how it makes them feel. This is one of the hardest things to get your head around and accept, you are literally like an object to them. Vile isn't it.
@@kevinseraphimday6373 I agree with you Kevin. My experience is similar to yours in general. Whether my narcs are super confident I am not really sure, but they act like it. Mom not so much, but dad thinks he is so clever. The way dad shows lack of confidence is through anger and rage when the mask falls. My narcs are my inlaws.
My mother was the most violent most dangerous person I've ever known in my life. The rage within her was so uncontrollable and ridiculous. For nothing for anything for speaking for sitting there quietly. But in the end like all narcissists that rage consumes them and Destroy them Looking back at all. The beatings the Insanity The Rage the anger. My mother lived a horrible dark paint and disgusting life.
My malignant narcissistic monster / mother used to explosively and savagely beat my brother and I when we were young. It was utterly terrifying. And she used to do this about three times a week. And there was no way to avoid it, we were just always bad kids and had to be beat constantly according to her. My mother told my brother once that she loved him and he asked her how she could say that when she beat us all of the time. Her response was, "I hit you because I love you!" As if we needed it, unbelievable. Looking back I see her as the devil personified, the quintessence of evil. Too bad she didn't die in a car accident when we were young, that would have been the best thing that could have ever happened to us...
I wish you were nearby so I could hug you. I can't offer words big enough to swallow up the pain you've experienced. Did your brother turn out ok? There is a big chance one of you would develop NPD because of the abuse.
I feel like I lived next door as I have witnessed this at my last rental and was moved to intercede on behalf of a young sister and brother just like you. In the process having their mother rage at me. I managed to remain calm and quietly insistent that she was scaring me and her children and asking if she could allow herself to stop. When I walked away a curious neighbour approached and asked me if I was ok. That’s when I realised I was not and began to shake uncontrollably. This was partly fear as it takes some sort of foolish courage to intercede where there is a dysregulated person involved but it was more from my utter sense of despair that these two kids were stuck with this mother and that in all likelihood she had also experienced harsh or neglectful parenting. Even though the overt situation was diffused I was also terribly worried about the covert silent retribution’s that may have been delivered after my departure; as it was the sons terrible pleadings that drew me into the fray. Children don’t have much of a choice in these circumstances they endure it because they must. It was heart breaking to witness my own powerlessness reflected in their mistreatment. I stand by the maxim hurt people, hurt people. I hope we all locate the healing we need before bringing children into the equation 🙋 Live long and prosper we have many parents and families in this world I really hope you have found some peace
@@kerrycosato I can imagine the experience was like trying to be command & control of four people's emotions and logic in the middle of a hurricane. Kudos to you for stepping in when you clearly weren't going to gain anything personally. Maybe you made a memorable impression.
I have been experiencing everything you described going purple in the face, white fuming in the mouth...I come from a family of both narcissistic parents, my siblings became narcissists and I was the scapegoat of the family. I have had continuous narcissistic abuse until now and I am 72 years old. My father/mother passed away, and now I came face to face with my narcissistic son. It is only now I am acknowledging that I am a CPTSD and it is not ending. Seems like it is only beginning and it is more painful because my son is an only child. Your videos are helping me discover how deep this black trench is, and how my life has been wasted. It is very frightening to live this way, I pray and pray just so I balance every day.
So correct on this one! He will rage and upset everyone then comes back talking like nothing happened and can’t figure out why no one wants anything to do with them. Then, once again be angry and then start gaslighting and raging again, because they know they are not getting away with it.
Absolutely fantastic video. I co-worked with a man who I could swear you just solely described in this video. Every single trait and behaviour you described he done on me. Working with a narcissist 9 hours a day was tough going. For an easy day and keep the peace I tolerated him for so long until I finally had enough and now we don't work together I can only describe it as I am out of his poisonous atmosphere. When I was in it there was a constant cycle of him fighting with me, critisising me, falling out with me and not speaking to me for a number of days before I got a half hearted apology and he acted like nothing had happened and I was supposed to immediately forget about the damage and anger he cause me. I was trapped in that constant cycle and poisonous atmosphere, now I am out of it and I can feel like I can breathe again.
My worst experience of a narc rage all my life was at Christmas Eve, when I was about 10 and my brother 8. My father wanted to read a part of the Bible but my mother, totally exhausted of days of work for the household, fell asleep sitting in a chair. It was not the way he planned our "nice" family evening! He yelled, hit and threw every object he could get, then cried yelling, it was absolutely devastating, heartbraking, frightening for me, I felt I would throw up... then, after maybe 20 minutes, he came back to the living room and ordered my brother and me to sing Christmas carols like nothing happened. Even today I can feel my chest and throat aching, thinking of that day.
My narc sister has explosive angry rages everywhere. She simply doesn't care who's around. I've been asked to leave 3 different places bc they thought I was her.
This is my brother. I had to sever ties totally because I feared for my safety. I’ve also had similar experiences with men in my life, unfortunately. Getting really good at seeing the desire for them to create the trauma bond. Hard pass.
My ex c. Narc did the rage where his face turned purple, his veins were popping out of his neck! It was abusive and scary. It was for something delusional and didn't even really happen. It came with the discard. That was it for me. Done.
I saved this video and watch it often, it is 100% exactly how my ex GF would behave. Since we didn’t live together, I would just leave, and we would break up for months at a time. It never really got better, and since they were on a cycle it was still damaging. She would do it on vacation, or in the car, where you couldn’t leave. Disproportionate anger, humiliating, and sadistic. First time you see this, just get out, she will not get better. It’s deliberate and damaging. They are lost souls.
Truth! Every word of it! I felt like you were talking about my life with my husband! He yells and screams at me, then only moments later, tells me how much he loves me and can't do without me!
My mother used to act like this. She still does but mostly uses my siblings to direct the rage at me by proxy. I've gone no contact. I finally, after all these years realized what was going on with the scapegoat role. At the end, all 3 of them wanted me dead and/or destroyed.
In my experience his rage became physical abusive then he blamed me for abusing me; that toxic relationship lasted 1 year of abuse. I ended the relationship, he did everything in his sick powers to regain the relationship, all his efforts had failed. I was more than happy to move on without that sick narc in life. Thank you for sharing your video it's educational and informative. ❤
I did poke the bear. I had had enough and couldn't take another second of his abuse so I poked back. It got me beat up enough to finally call the police on him and get pictures taken and have the police mad enough to remove him from my house which by the way was in foreclosure things to him. What are nightmare. He he is 5 years and 2- months gone
My mother used her explosive rages to try to intimidate and control me. I just never reacted because wasn't allowed to. She was also very mean. One time when I was a teenager, she was driving me to my dancing lesson and my brother (mean-spirited) was sitting in the passenger seat up front and I was in the back. I thought it was kind of odd that he was coming because he usually had his own life. When I was a baby I'd suffered from a kidney infection and so I had to use the restroom a lot. Before we had left in the car, I had made sure to use the restroom, but halfway through the trip, I thought to myself, 'Why should I be afraid to tell my own mother that I need to use the restroom. That's ridiculous, right?' So I ventured to tell my mother. Immediately she flew into this vicious rage. Once she had calmed down, my brother spoke up and guess what? He had an idea - that we should take the scenic route. And, guess what? She agreed and pulled off the freeway at the very next exit and took the long way. They've both since passed away and she had disowned me when it was made clear to her that I wouldn't be controlled. So be it.
That's funny because I've been thinking recently of an incident when I was about maybe 8 or 9. We were waiting for my dad in a parking lot and I had to pee so bad and I remember my mom just looking at me like I was dirt. I seem to remember going to a laundromat or something nearby, alone. Heavens, if that was one of my kids I would have moved heaven and earth to find a bathroom. I am 57 now and I still remember her stare, like I was inconvenient. And interesting, now when I take her out I often have to find her a bathroom urgently. This should be criminalised.
I pray no one else has to go through this but know things during the pandemic have only gotten worse as supply is more difficult to come by. Educate yourself, love yourself, plan an escape, record (carry a hidden mp3 or video on your phone), journal, and get help! These unseen bruises take A LOT longer than physical ones to heal but you can learn to cope and even thrive with understanding and time. Be kind to yourself. This was never your fault!
My narc ex and my narc father were very raging and violent . They always had something negative to say and always nit picking just to start & instigate fights . But they act both overt & covert towards me . They started out overt but nowadays they are more covert . Yes they act as if they walk on water like they are just angels that no one can say anything too them that doesn't align with their false reality .
And when it's over "I don't want to fight anymore". Like a confession that they previously did want to fight. They know what they're doing. It's a chess game to them. They have to take every piece of our self respect in order to win. It's never not a game. They do not feel things the way we do. They are really good at spinning things to make them look like the white knight.
Thank you Jill for another informative video on the topic of these vile creatures known as narcissist. It helps to explain their predatory and aggressive behavior. I agree with you about narcissistic abuse being as bad or worse than other types of abuse. I also think it is probably the most frequent type of abuse but because it is so covert most of the time, except the rages, people don't understand their being abused. Then you have a difficult time understanding it ourselves because we think that abuse is either physical, sexual or verbal abuse. I didn't understand how abusive it was until many years later just like the abuse I got from parents. We usually think of the abuser as a big man abusing a small women. In my case it was just the opposite but the abuse wasn't done physically it was done psychologically. Also if you try to explain to another person, who is not familiar with NPD, and try and explain what happened they don't really understand and think you are being petty. That's why you can't really worry about trying to get others to understand because you really can't understand if you haven't been through it yourself. We all know what we've been through and I'm grateful to have places to go on the internet where people understand and people like you to validate and educate me about what happened.
I can still picture the look of shock and confusion on my raging mother's face when I got up , collected my things and walked out of the house without looking back during her most hellish verbal assault at me when I was 31 yrs old . Why I put up with that garbage for so many years I don't know . I WAS DONE . But to her our 'relationship' was still on as she contacted me about 4 months later to tell me that she'd been diagnosed with lung cancer - she was actually looking for sympathy and a commitment of home care from me - neither of which she got . I still hear her screeching name calling insults in my head every day and she's been dead for 33 years . That bitch was truly the most negative thing that has existed in my life .
I can’t believe I just found this video…it is SO helpful - yet I searched and searched for years and there is so little that explains this this way…I have saved and will share thank you 🙏
Their rage can also manifest without provocation. I witnessed this once, he blew up, unprovoked in the middle of what I thought was a congenial conversation. Immediately and almost reflexively the next thing out of his mouth when he clocked my reaction was "Oh, you're not ready for this yet.". Most bizarre. The only sense I could make of this nonsense was that someone else had irked him and he thought he'd explode on my patch to vent his anger. (cognitive dissonance)
It is often a fake theatrical exercise for intimidation and scaring/startling you, simply another manipulative thing to do, they will sometimes combine it with some misplaced smirk or grin (feeling powerful and satisfied)
Lesley....a solid question here.Did you row back or explode in a rage yourself? I ask this as somebody who recently was discarded, then divorced a wife, ended up taking temporary accomodation with two parents who, even at 84 and 85, seemed to be triggering each other into rages. Subsequently my Mother and Father both survived a horrific flu-like bug(way bigger than anything i'd ever had), both lost two to three stone in that short period and our Mother suffered bigtime by not taking medications and has ended up in a home. Now, please stay with me here. After nursing them back to health, i became very aware of something. I read up greatly during my discard(and the trauma which appeared after) and what i have witnessed is what seems to be a narcissistic Mother who has triggered a Father with chronic anxiety. Since my Mother has been in a home(old folk's home..due to physical effects after her illness..and now has no capacity..spending her time in the home making enemies of everyone), amazingly, my Father has blossomed in front of me, even becoming stronger, more conversational, helpfull recently through a bout of gout i suffered with(an 87 year old man walking up and down stairs to aid his son, who could not walk..never once complaining). This has been mind-blowing as i have seen him thrive and become the Father i never ever witnessed. I now strongly feel that what we are talking about here is and always has been a row-triggering narcissistic Mother constantly goading a man with chronic anxiety who would explode into what came over as raging but might have been a defensive mechanism. I lived this nightmare as well and often watched my ex smirk as we rowed constantly about "what a pathetic excuse i was as a man"(despite raising a daughter for 17 years and looking after her, my ex, with every illness..yet now i remember SHE never bothered..at one point even calling me a cripple after i suffered over ten different ailments one year...the year before her discard of me.. YOU DO THE MATH. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE HELP AND UNDERSTANDING MY FATHER HAS SHOWN ME...but it has been recently returned. I have helped him retain his finances after a family member decided they would be better used to garnish that individual's own "portfolio". My father wept when the Bank told him the reason they were helping him by shutting down the fool who was taking everything from him was because that is their job to look after him. Very touching moment and will live with me forever. OUT OF THE BLUES, COMES THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN....MY Father travelled 15 miles on two different buses to achieve that moment with the Bank Manager and witnessing the smile coming back onto his face as the beautiful countryside flew by.. ..frankly, took my breath away. This MAN raised me to be honest...and NEVER EVER RAISE MY HAND TO A WOMAN. I HAVE HONOURED HIS ADVICE...and always will. Funny how time teaches up that some things are the complete opposite of what we thought they were or are.
@@BLITZY261 Froze, Rabbit in the headlights as I was absolutely shocked. I was blindsided. It was inappropriate in the situation and totally random, unwarranted, came from nowhere and not something I'd expected or seen before from him. Most bizarre. Today I'd rage back, I'm afraid to say. I've had my fill of people raging in my face with no comeback to them. I did it last Tuesday to a neighbour who decided to have an unwarranted rant in my direction so I gave her what for!!!! LOL
Great video, Jill. I must say, it's extremely challenging to maintain both, my composure & dignity when my mother is raging @ me in front of friends & strangers. This happens semi-regularly. however, I just can never predict.when. I always hope that people would see her craziness, but, too often, it's "Oh, wow, what did you do to piss her off like that?" My reply is "I was born."
Even before I started seeing your videos and learning about Narcissistic traits I always thought to myself of my ex, 'when he is good he is really, really good and when he is bad he is horrid'. I hadn't realized until after I'd been alone for a while how much of my time and energy he took. His need was never ending. He lied to me, had a harem and cared nothing about me. I'm finding myself again and doing what I want to do for a change. It had always been about him and catering to him. Unfortunately, he has a few other victims on the hook now. I pity them and him but obviously his behavior is working for him. What a relief to be done with him.
I clicked on three dots by this post. It was a mistake. I didn't have any idea why they were there.If it was some sort of complaint, tell You Tube that it was entirely my error, please.
I had no idea what I've been up against all my life until my therapist directed me to you guys on TH-cam. Thank you for being there for me to follow. I'm so glad I don't have to continue this for the rest of my life. 62 years of this crap has been enough and I am so happy to be healing. I am thankful to have myself for company for the first time ever really. I have been pretty narcissist free since March 25th 2019 when I had all of my mother I was going to ever subject myself to in my life again and I knew I meant it. After years of her and countless boyfriends who tried to kill me I am finally finished and yes I am still alive. And that makes all of them so mad
It is true. The best revenge is to be happy and content with yourself and have a nice life but narcissist Will never be happy and they will be in rain with the fact that you broke free from them.
I was being raged at by two Malignant Narcissist, Female and a Male Monster, I left ASAP because I knew it wasn't normal! No Contact and I changed my number!
It was channels like this that allowed me to see what was happening to me. Pattern: Every 6 days he would threaten separation. I started keeping track on a calendar. The last time he did it was so mild that I had doubt, but I went no contact. It has been a year. I wonder why I had to experience such evil when I’m kind, calm (vegan-yogi) and loving. I dug deep and made discoveries about myself. I don’t trust anyone at this point.
you just explained my dad 100%... throughout my childhood I keep on thinking something is not right... i was scoled and hit by him till age 14 untill he figured that this can get exposed at my school when we stopped hitting and kepts on screeming at me.. he never gave me money to even buy things at market. even till 35 years of my age. i cud not figure this out untill I saw these videos. i have already become numb due to this and become a slave to him and alwya stay in a mode of waitng for any orders from him. if not heard he shouts at me... my whole life has went in a confusion . i cud not understand what to do .. what to become.. in my life. it is curse to be born in such family... and BTW>> my dad is a Governer big officer himself and has an extraordinary god like reputation outside the home..
This is the best explanation. I only wish I had been exposed to this information 25 years ago . I have suffered all the toxic abuse and I applaud you formaking others aware and how to save themselves from a life of pain physically and emotionally . I am 69 years old and trying to find peace in my life and so can all if you.
My ex would call me a narcissist all the time. I’m very patient but she would gaslight me to eventually react with anger. It wasn’t until we broke up and I saw these videos that I realized she was the narcissist
Oh my gosh this describes my narcissistic husband so much. After he rages and says such hurtful insults to me and then maybe the next day I ask him why he said such and such he looks at me like I have 2 heads! Like what in the world am I talking about??
I just experienced this type of rage a week ago today. It's taken me days to process this rage. He was an inch from my face calling me names, he took his index finger and called me names poking his finger on my forehead. His eyes were blank. I don't know what came over me, but I looked straight into his eyes (which were an inch away...geeeez) and firmly said "You don't affect me". It made his rage so much worse. I was lying too, he was scaring me. Poking the bear was a big mistake, I put myself in danger. NEVER AGAIN.
All you said, hits the nail. Spine chilling to hear explain what happened in my marriage. I confronted her with her 'devilish' rages, but she neglected. She replied simply 'everyone gets angry sometimes .. '.
Very informative. Wonderful comments... I have narc parents, I’m in my 40s. So I thought I knew what dysfunction and abuse was...,Psychopaths generally don’t rage. My psychopath husband would smile like a sweet little boy when he would abuse. But they, psychopaths, know exactly what they are. The narc are fragmented Almost like two personalities.
You're spot on here! It took me many years to realize I was dealing with a "nut." Thought it was my fault. He's a tiger waiting to be poked, and it doesn't take much. I can deal with him much better thanks to my faith and these kinds of videos. But now, how to escape. That takes up alot of my thoughts these days.
You're Not Alone,mine ( Narc-Psychopath husband) made sure during the years to make it impossible for me to leave..he controls finances,cars etc,in addition I'm European and I don't have anyone here to help me. It's pure Torture ( last week I literally Urinated on myself when he started screaming at me Again) I already had 2 Heart Surgeries and I have tremors in my right arm and leg ( from nervous system). I would rather be in the house with Corona Virus than Him. We are Not the Other Player in this tennis match from Hell,We are the Ball. Please stay positive and keep to yourself as much as you can.take care.sorry for ranting, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone..
Thank you. This helps me to better understand my adult daughter and her anger towards her brother and parents. After years of pounding our heads against the wall, I’m starting to better understand her disorder. Again, thanks. I only hope I can survive.
you describe my daughter. She is a 32 year old single mother and teacher. I raised the child for the first 3 years of his life. I do not understand where she is coming from. I am left feeling beaten to the ground. I done so much for her. I am moving out of her place, in a few weeks, but the lies, screaming, blaming. Unreal. Then she uses her son, to hold over me. She tells me it is a privilege to watch her son. So when she is mad at me, I cannot do what every my grandson and I were doing, or planned.
Mine always said I was attacking him, I was selfish, I see black and white, I cause all our problems, etc. just so exhausting. He was never scary violent when he was ragging. More conniving and hurtful in ways no one knew or would be able to see so that way I freak out and then he tells everyone how shitty I am. So good at flipping the script and leaving out parts to stories that make him look bad.
Another very helpful video. Thank you. And thank you for sharing your own personal experiences. I'm sorry that you had to go through that with your father. But the truly wonderful thing is that you have taken your painful experiences and used them to educate yourself and to help others. You are truly a special human being!
Though what I experienced was from a covert....behind closed doors and I never knew when It was coming. Would go into something I have never experienced before with anybody. A rage so scary. Yes...just as you say, he knew just how and where to hit me to not show marks. I ran out for the last time never going back. Wasn't going to allow him to put another hand on me. And of course none of it was his fault but all mine telling me have relieved, He doesn't ever have to worry about my manipulating lying deceptive ways. Its just so unbelievable how they think and go around believing this is their world and everyone else is invading it.
That's not a covert narc. I spent 50 years with a covert narc and he was diagnosed as one clinically. You're describing an overt narc completely. I'm a Life Coach like Jill that specializes in narc abuse.
@@judyscheiber3661 If you listen to her video she mentions that though a covert can rage in the same way as an overt. Which, my ex narc traits and behaviors was very hidden and got his admiration and validation from the outside world from being the hero, knowing you would go to him for help and being liked as well as getting others to trust him.He never showed he was above and better then others or taking over conversations and everything else they do cause they feel better or entitled. He Always put out in the public eye to be the good guy. He knew what he had to hide in order to achieve this image. So yes, they can rage like no other even being a covert. At the end of the day, coverts overts and all others in between are toxic and have abusive behaviors. Thank you though, I appreciate your input.
@@judyscheiber3661 no offense but you're not correct.A covert Narc Can Rage like a Bull.. and then go back to his insecure, paranoid little self again. They can fluctuate from Covert to Overt and Vice Versa. My Monster only Has "Courage" when he Screamed at Me, Bullying Me, Insulted me, Belittling me etc( last week I literally Urinated on myself during a "courage" act), yet if he had to stand up to a Real Man,He would be Hiding, Running and Become Mute...they are Monsters in Human skin.
Such coherent, precise information ! I am sO grateful for you getting this accurate~ evil reality out . You will forever ne a part of helping victims sort out and become educated on what THIS is !!! Thank you. ~ Jacklyn
I can't believe how many people have been through narcisstic abuse! I have a narcisstic mother! U have to protect yourself against these people don't share how your feeling with them. A narcisst will punch you right in your weaknesses spot right at your weakest moment whenever you need love the most x
Oh my God my boyfriend used to say he only abused me because I had poked the bear and my response was "but you're not a bear, you're a human being with higher thinking and reasoning".
I have seen many videos and never have my situation described so well, it was hard for me to understand how someone so wonderful could become a monster. I stayed 5 years because in between rages it was so good.
“Just because we don’t have bruises, doesn’t mean we are not abused”.
I did experienced physical and mental abuse.
emotional abuse.
They always think everyone is attacking them.
And they are never wrong.
They live in a constant state of survival mode. It is absolutely exhausting for them. That's why they hate it when they see people relaxing and enjoying themselves and being Carefree.
@Mark Kenny After a while, they start to believe that everyone thinks the way they do. And then they run across somebody who's carefree and very silly and comical. Throwing all caution to the wind being vulnerable. Friendly and maybe even a little bit of an idiot. You know, that's funny person that makes you laugh that person was a little eccentric. And they can't stand it because they could never be that way.
They MUST be the villains and the victims.
@Mark Kenny Anything causes narcissistic Injury to them. It's a battle where there is no battle and argument where there is no argument. It's all they have inside of them just toxicity.
As someone obsessed with watching and learning every narcissism youtube channel, this one nails it the best. And, I would agree with the last suggestion of leaving the vicinity of the raging narcissist as soon as they start. The only issue with that is, the narcissist is not dumb, they know you will leave once they start screaming at you. So, they do it in places where you can’t leave, like in a car, or on vacation. You may have just dropped 5K on a Rome apartment dream vacation and the second day in, they blow up like Mt Vesuvius. The dirty little secret is that the screaming and yelling isn’t just them acting out like a three year old, they also want to hurt you, and they want to see that they hurt you. This is called being sadistic, because they like it, and it makes them feel important. So, you are left with trying to never be alone with your honey, or always having an escape route. This, is no way to live, and neither is living with a narcissist.
Victims might not have bruises and scars on the outside, but the inside might be full of them. Narcs should be locked up somewhere and the key thrown into the sea.
Amen!!!!!!!!!!+!!!
Somewhere together, like Siberia!!
Cali Fornia in many cases a narc is not possible to help. These people are not at fault for anything. Extremely few are receptive of help:
@@thevorpalone1045 I think that we are all in need of a good venting now and then, based upon what state this country is in at the moment, but yes it's a bit harsh, however, these types are not capable of rehabilitation! You do realize that? It's sad, though, so I can see your point. It's extremely difficult to forgive someone who literally took, stole, beat down, used and abused you for their own insecurities. They don't understand the concept of love or humanity, like DJT. It points to generational abuse and severe family dysfunction!!! Take care and stay safe my friend. I apologize if my words caused you discomfort. 😉❤
@@thevorpalone1045 Narssacists can do a lot of damage to their victims psyche, so bitterness, anger, confusion, shame, depression and anxiety are created in every survivor. Everyone has a right to vent, but without causing more damage to the fragile psyche or PTSD of others. I have complex PTSD from a lifetime of abuses from my 2 narssacistic personality disorder parents, and now that I have less contact with them, I am able to heal. Sometimes a good laugh, or chuckle relieved some of the negative effects of that abuse for myself and others. I really hope that you are able to heal and find happiness. Take care. 😉❤
Narcissists are terrifying. I am so sorry you were traumatized by them and I am so grateful for your channel.
This info is 100 % true.
The RAGE I witnessed when I disagreed with my ex narc BF was beyond any anger I'd ever seen.
I really can't describe how loud and hate-filled it was.
It was childish too, in a way.
I lost all respect for him after seeing him lit up with anger.
He could not stand that we did not agree on Religion, politics, values, etc.
He hated that he couldn't talk me into agreeing with him.
I guess I rationalized the Red flags I saw for the year we dated.
He never raged until I let him move in with me.
I could do that because my late Mother had some strong covert narc behaviors and I didn't realize boundaries existed.
DON'T IGNORE RED FLAGS !!!!!
DON'T IGNORE YOUR INTUITION !!!!!!
they despise that we are still happy and really able to care about others . they want us in their hell.
Same after 3 years I didnt see the rage until after we moved in together, the red flags were so subtle it left me confused so I think women and men need to be extremely picky and cut people off at the slightest pit feeling in the stomach if that makes sense.
Experienced this many times, she absolutley flipped her lid, like a total nut job, and you can do nothing to diffuse this, and it can go on for hours. They seem possessed by some sort of evil spirit.
I have seen the mask fall off and what I saw was not human. It was a huge smile with drool coming from the corner of her lip. My ex-wife that was a high Spectrum narcissist look like a demon. When I pointed out what she was doing. She said no, I'm not it's your imagination. She did that several times pretty much any time. She hurt me and she loved every moment of it and again according to her. It was my imagination.
@@greenspider1598 Your Ex wife could so easily be my Ex partner, strange how they all follow the same pattern, must be a textbook on Narc Abuse they have that we don't know about. We never knew these people, they never existed only in our imagination.
@@theraven1850 Yes, they all do the same thing. It's like they all. Think the same That's why when you understand all this and you survive this and you're no longer a victim, but a Survivor and you run across another narcissist. You can tear them apart with psychology. I had somebody say something to me at work. Once I literally looked at him and said are you projecting towards me? He mediately walked away and no longer would work with me. Trust your gut instinct. It is a sixth sense and it actually work. I will never allow myself to be a victim against abuse against broken down to or even have somebody raise their voice to me after years upon years of abuse. It will not work. I'm like a pitbull. I'm like the anti narcissist now. Oh and being manipulated. Good luck. But yes, they all do the same thing. It's so transparent. It's actually, comical
THE RAVEN YES!!!!
THE RAVEN They are the demon
I remember my mother in one of her uncontrollable rages like it was yesterday. She was screaming and whipping my older brother with a belt. Now mind you we were in our late teens. Shes 5'4 and we're 6 foot. She's swings the belt at him and he blocks it with his arm while laying on his bed. My brother says "oww" and starts laughing. Then I start laughing. And at that moment she lost her power and control and never whipped us again. She knew at that moment she had to use mind manipulation to control her adult children. The tool was money and lies. Money is the license to abuse especially if you have a lot of it. They know exactly what they are doing.
gregg fisher 🙏🏾🥺I understand
Sounds like my mom. The moment it happened for me I was 14 and my mom jumped on me slapping me while I was sitting in a desk chair. She was screaming " why don't you ever talk to me".I fell back in my chair up against my closet door. I leaned forward in my chair and threw her across my room. The look of absolute shock on her face was priceless. It shocked me to because she's obese.
@karl.
You spoke my truth exactly
That's when it's time to start plotting and get an afterschool job (or make one to earn some money) save and get your own place.
Theyll become even more angry over the fact they have no one to control or throw their irregular rages onto.
@@curli-lettey4319 yes, it's like they don't want their kids to succeed in the real world. How sad and pathetic is that
You are 100% right. "The lord is my shepherd I shall not fear" thank you.
Steffie Beffie Amen
👏👏👏
Amen.
Thank you so much. I’m crying as I write this. I thought I was alone.
Cam L your not , believe me been through all the horrible stuff
Cam L Get out, they are maladaptive and cannot change
No, there's plenty of pain and suffering. Welcome aboard!!
There are thousands of us my dear. You are not alone.
Cam L you’re not alone 🤗💞. I’m there often.
Remember everybody when you first met them, we all thoughts we met our soulmate
Narcissists people are NEVER sorry, they're only sorry that they got caught, but not sorry for what they 've done!
Divorcing one! Unpredictable, manipulative, toxic person. The narcissist rage is frightening. They are good at only doing this behind closed doors, so their charming persona is not affected outside the house. They are jealous of their partner, children and pets. They never accept responsibility and never apologise. 30 years with this.
They are evil and they definitely get worse with age.
I am terrified of my senior sociopaths. They are always raging.
I have learned that with a 67 year old narcissist that is getting worse NOT better .
Sucks..always on edge round them
I can’t believe I just heard her say they often seem to “foam at the mouth” that’s exactly what I saw.
That’s freaky
I've not seen my mum do that, but it wouldn't be too far off. I'm pretty sure she's a covert narcissist but with her I'm not ruling anything out.
True Nature exactly
I never saw that and I pray I don't that demonic behavior !!!
@@MrsDavis-vm8tq it was surreal. My narc abuser’s behavior had been escalating but I (like probably most of us here) used gray rock method, observe don’t absorb technique, and I believe it sent him into a narcissistic rage also fueled w steroids. Trust & believe, this demonic POS-he’s dead to me.
My much older sick sister was erased off the planet 5 years ago, what a state of delight I've been in since, hallelujah!
100% factual!!! I’ve been through this over and over. I have ptsd. I get my strength to go on through God.
Amen. We can do all things through Christ who Strengthens us ✝️
My mother was a covert narc.
My sister and her three daughters are the same.
I have nothing to do with them anymore.
NO CONTACT.
Waiting my entire life to be pregnant, my narcissistic partner raged at me ( for nothing) after acting like he was the proud father to be to strangers. I went into shock. He then love bombed me and then followed that with breaking numerous boundaries. I broke down completely.
The baby died shortly after.
Still trying to escape.
My mother and sister passed away before meeting him and I have nothing.
My faith in God is all that keeps me going.
I hope God offered you to see a ray of light.
You don't need God. There is no God. You are your own rock. Everyone will betray you, even or especially "God". Live for YOU, not for "God". Put your faith in YOURSELF not a "God".
Why would you have a relationship with an entity that created you and then allowed or positioned you to get abused? I wouldn't have anything to do with such an individual, even if one such entity exists.
Why have faith in a creator that sits back and allows you to be violated and exploited by "His" other creations?
It seems to me, if there is a "God" he is SURELY an infantile, predatory malignant grandiose Narcissist...and we know what we're supposed to do with narcissists, GO NO CONTACT!!!!
❤
I’m so glad you know the Lord. He loves you and you have eternity in heaven awaiting you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for you...I know how you feel 😔 My faith keeps me going as well ❤🙏❤️
Omg!!! This was my mother!!! She would fly into a rage and scream at me, slap me, beat me in the head!!! All over something stupid!!! She didn't do this to my brothers. It was impossible to defend myself. I lived in fear of her!!! She called me names, and said I'd never amount to anything. God life with her was hell!!!
Mine told me, very matter of factly, that he felt better after raging at me. He also usually fell asleep afterwards, and them blamed me for making him tired and waste time.
Hi Nancy L. The blaming game is so damaging. It makes us feel confused about who we are to a point where we start to doubt our own sanity. That's how evil they are. Hope you're feeling free
Yeah, that's a narcissist brief moment to get their supply and then they're happy and content and then they go to sleep.
Nancy L I believe they have evil spirits attach to them. Is my opinion. I deal with silent treatment. But today. I told him. Idk. I walked away. He did speak to me all afternoon. It is 10:10 pm I am not going to beg apologize or negotiate. I am tiered.
@@normadeluna3349 There you go. Get off the emotional roller coaster no longer play the game anymore. And that is all it is a game of manipulation and control stop playing the game. Watch them scramble and try to get control again. It's actually really pathetic. Remember you're dealing with a child not an adult.
Very true green spider!
Have experienced this over 15 years and ended up with cancer... the stress of living with it is just so immense. No physical abuse it was all mental.
His mouth always foamed!!
My late mother was a narc, and I've gone no contact with my sister and her three daughters. They eventually showed their true colours.
Awful people.
Life feels better, no more walking on eggshells or putting up with their shit.
Living well is the best revenge.
Congratulations to you all for also seeing the light.
We shall overcome.
I was married to a narcissist for 6 years. There is no words to explain the mental abuse they can do. The lies the cheating the lack of empathy the rages she would do to me was the worst feeling in the world. I attempted suicide 2 times. I was completely convinced there was something wrong with me. After she would cheat and I’d literally catch her she would never say sorry just blame it all on me and I would be the one apologizing to her for “making her do that to me” I have been diagnosed with ptsd now and severe depression and anxiety. I have panic attacks now. Not ONCE in 6 years she has never said sorry I’ve been in a metal home for a couple weeks twice. And both times I was in there she showed up and completely manipulated my counselor and tell them I’ve always been like this and they would believe her of course and I got to the point she broke me completely. Still blames me and takes no responsibility whatsoever. These people are pure hatred and evil. To anyone who has read this I pray for you and would never wish this on anyone. They do not love you. They do not care whatsoever about you. All they want you for is to make them look and feel better about themselves. They have ZERO empathy for what they do. U cannot fix them no matter how hard u try and the longer u wait to stick it out hoping they will change the more they will take from you. They have no soul. No regret or remorse. I’ve begged her literally crying on her and she says “I don’t have time for this bullshit be a fucking man and grow up”. They will ALWAYS try to one up you if u so much as go against them and call them out.
What a terrible period that must have been. Wishing you well as you continue recovering mentally and emotionally. :)
I can relate dude, sounds like my ex wife exactly
She'd be perfect for my bd
Drew All the love you poured into her pour into you love you Homie putting God first and you Shall come out all the brainwash and confusion she did to you which is a form of Witchcraft devaluing you and your Manhood Stand up and Believe in you and your life Praying for you Homie
There is no remedy except escape. Every time my 1st husband would rage, he would begin with, “If it weren’t for YOU... (fill in the blank with his latest bitch)”. He would make ridiculous demands, & when I complied, he would move the goalposts to a more extreme demand.
Eventually I took my children & left. After a week, I spoke to my husband by phone, & he told me that I needn’t have spent the money to move, & that he would have been glad to help me. They will demean & devalue anything they they cannot control.
I had to interact with this man, because we had children. Even when our children were grown, he insulted me EVERY TIME he saw me. Eventually, however, he developed Alzheimer’s. The last time I saw him, he looked at me, pointed at me, & said, “I know you!” And I simply answered “YES, you do!” And I got up & walked away. And that was one of the happiest moments of my life, because it was the FIRST TIME since I married him, at the age of 21, that he could not insult me, because HE DIDN’T KNOW WHO I WAS!”
He is dead now. And no one misses him, believe me.
My covert narc didn't rage at me one time in 50 years. Not one. Covert's don't do that. They simply crawl off in silence when their mad and plot and plan their next deadly attack on you. I lived it for long enough to develop trauma bonds and CPTSD. His most used form of punishment to me was the silent treatment paired with completely ignoring me-for years. It went on for years, and then decades. He spent the last 15 years of our marriage never looking at me or looking me in the eye. I finally threw him out, kept him away and divorced him going no contact. He was shocked and tried hoovering. When he could see I was done, he was finally done. I'm also now a life coach.
No, do not agree.Mine was covert and hell yes, he was an animal.
My mother raged at me as a child and my Step dad must've said something because she scared me that much, and now as an adult she is terrifying in her 70's.
I disagree with any generalization of how a covert may act and I know my ex Husb.was a covert with whom I lived for 27 years. He had rages at me and our daughter and also did the isolating and emotional abuse and or intimidation. Our daughter grew up trying to tiptoe on eggshells everyday. He also had Bipolar so it was a roller coaster ride. He suddenly discarded us and now we are both free and trying to recover from the damage he did. For me dealing with guilt for not getting our daughter removed from that environment, however even if you leave and get custody it is likely the game playing will continue. Once you have been tangled up with these people it’s a process to recover no matter what. It is ongoing and you must be patient with yourself and get support - whether that is church, channels like this family or friends you can trust are not “ flying monkeys”, it is good to have someone to talk to and learn from. God Bless you to anyone in this situation❤️
Coverts do rage sometimes though Push the right button.
#ChrisWatts
I lived 15 years with a covert narc up until 2 years ago. He had many outbursts, but the the last and most scariest came when we were on the way to the supermarket in the car ( a 5 min drive), we were talking and I raised my voice at him and out of the blue he screamed at me and while driving at 60 km and rammed on the handbrake, cars in both directions. The car slid and spun around to the other direction on the other side of the road on the grass verge. After that acted like nothing happened. This was the worst and the last and one time I’ll always remember
Demonic possession
You’ve done the best job of explaining the trauma bond I’ve ever heard. I never full understood how that worked before, the cycle of abuse and kindness makes sense, it’s how they get you to discard yourself trying to please them, it’s a way for them to become your puppeteer.
Yes. I completely agree. Brilliantly explained.
I agree.
They bombard you with their personality and Just take over.
Ardent If we are not careful we become the narc
Island Girl Ruby I can see that, because the narcissist becomes the narcissist by thinking “they did this to me and I’m going to make sure no one ever does this to me again, I’m going to be the greatest and then they’ll regret what they did to me, they probably did it to me cause they recognize my greatness and can’t stand it! I’ll show them!! I’ll show anyone who crosses me!!” Then they repeat the abuse cycle over and over again, creating other narcissists.
It's extremely difficult to maintain civility and status quo when such base narcissistic behaviors are so prevalent. The strength I've displayed to endure it will only serve me going forward. I'll never make this mistake again.
hah! I'm laughing at the idea that narcissistic rage is explainable :) For children it is an absolutely terrifying thing when you have to scatter like mice.
Screaming and yelling, spit hitting you in the face.... ticking time bomb
I guess louder means more right...
Wow, you've just described the worst six and a half years of my life/marriage, in just fifteen minutes. It was hell and I'm so glad it is over. He used to scare me so much that I nearly lost control of bodily functions, I would shake and tremble in fear and my legs turned to jelly so much that I could barely walk away from him....mostly I was too scared to move. He is a well known musician with adoring fans, but if they knew who he really is he'd be playing to an empty room.
frailingbadly so charming on the outside hey glad your out and yes the body is smarter than our hearts or our minds I have trained myself to listen but this was one of the things taken from me as I was groomed by my mother in particular to not trust myself and put up with bad behaviour and the idea that a child regulates and is responsible for adult behaviour 🙋 peace be with you
@@kerrycosato Thank you. Yes, I guess that's why they are called 'gut feelings'. I wish I had paid attention earlier. I hope that you are ok now. All the best. x
No doubt his charisma is a mask hiding his real self.
Wish you well never go back demonic things they are you are free now 😎😎😎
Wow! Finally a video that sheds light on the subject of Narcissistic Rage. Thank you!👍🏾😀
The narcissistic rage is intense and if you stay exposed to long, they will cause you to react in anger.
My ex-wife would rage, and then would suddenly act like nothing happened. She would rage until I would make an emotional reaction. “Walking on eggshells and landmines between the cracks while a person is lobbing grenades at you,” will cause you to react.
Once I reacted to her rage, she would then start behaving like an “innocent lamb,” and the she would call me “crazy” or say I am “mentally ill” after I reacted to her abuse.
She would get “one inch” away from my face; yelling, screaming or saying hurtful word to cause me to react. She literally would back me into a corner. It was crazy.
After her rages, she would tell others about my reaction to her, while leaving out what she did to me to cause me to react.
She also used gaslighting and silent treatments as weapons routinely....drove me nuts to the point where I questioned my sanity.
I would visit psychologist, counselors and therapist on a routine basis; not one recognized what was occurring in my relationship. By time I would got to therapy, I ended up appearing like the narcissist, because my emotions would be raw and my wife would appear to be innocent.
The therapist would end up colluding with my wife; leaving me to feel crazy, bewildered and emotionally devastated. I would constantly leave a therapy session asking my self...”what just happened?!l. (Routinely; always worse off.)
I had two narcissist in my life simultaneously, her mother; so imagine my experience for years and years. I felt like I was a “ping pong” ball caught between two paddles with players seeking to break the ball. 😬😞
It is not personal. That is what I learned from my relationship with a covert narcissist person. My ex is a child in a mature body. She used several methods such as love bombing, silent treatment. These are people who have no confident.
I beg to differ. My experience has been that it is VERY personal. And "no confidence" doesn't even begin to sum it up. If that's all it was for you, you're lucky.
It seems it kevin, but they are completely self referential. What they are doing to you is all about how it makes them feel.
This is one of the hardest things to get your head around and accept, you are literally like an object to them.
Vile isn't it.
Mark Jackson.....so true!....
@@kevinseraphimday6373 I agree with you Kevin. My experience is similar to yours in general. Whether my narcs are super confident I am not really sure, but they act like it. Mom not so much, but dad thinks he is so clever. The way dad shows lack of confidence is through anger and rage when the mask falls. My narcs are my inlaws.
My mother was the most violent most dangerous person I've ever known in my life. The rage within her was so uncontrollable and ridiculous. For nothing for anything for speaking for sitting there quietly. But in the end like all narcissists that rage consumes them and Destroy them Looking back at all. The beatings the Insanity The Rage the anger. My mother lived a horrible dark paint and disgusting life.
My malignant narcissistic monster / mother used to explosively and savagely beat my brother and I when we were young. It was utterly terrifying. And she used to do this about three times a week. And there was no way to avoid it, we were just always bad kids and had to be beat constantly according to her. My mother told my brother once that she loved him and he asked her how she could say that when she beat us all of the time. Her response was, "I hit you because I love you!" As if we needed it, unbelievable. Looking back I see her as the devil personified, the quintessence of evil. Too bad she didn't die in a car accident when we were young, that would have been the best thing that could have ever happened to us...
Endorphin Rider I’m so sorry for those horrid memories. You didn’t deserve that.
I wish you were nearby so I could hug you. I can't offer words big enough to swallow up the pain you've experienced.
Did your brother turn out ok? There is a big chance one of you would develop NPD because of the abuse.
Healing blessings, hugs and kisses to the child inside of you. It's not your fault. x
I feel like I lived next door as I have witnessed this at my last rental and was moved to intercede on behalf of a young sister and brother just like you. In the process having their mother rage at me. I managed to remain calm and quietly insistent that she was scaring me and her children and asking if she could allow herself to stop. When I walked away a curious neighbour approached and asked me if I was ok. That’s when I realised I was not and began to shake uncontrollably. This was partly fear as it takes some sort of foolish courage to intercede where there is a dysregulated person involved but it was more from my utter sense of despair that these two kids were stuck with this mother and that in all likelihood she had also experienced harsh or neglectful parenting. Even though the overt situation was diffused I was also terribly worried about the covert silent retribution’s that may have been delivered after my departure; as it was the sons terrible pleadings that drew me into the fray. Children don’t have much of a choice in these circumstances they endure it because they must. It was heart breaking to witness my own powerlessness reflected in their mistreatment. I stand by the maxim hurt people, hurt people. I hope we all locate the healing we need before bringing children into the equation 🙋 Live long and prosper we have many parents and families in this world I really hope you have found some peace
@@kerrycosato I can imagine the experience was like trying to be command & control of four people's emotions and logic in the middle of a hurricane. Kudos to you for stepping in when you clearly weren't going to gain anything personally. Maybe you made a memorable impression.
I have been experiencing everything you described going purple in the face, white fuming in the mouth...I come from a family of both narcissistic parents, my siblings became narcissists and I was the scapegoat of the family. I have had continuous narcissistic abuse until now and I am 72 years old. My father/mother passed away, and now I came face to face with my narcissistic son. It is only now I am acknowledging that I am a CPTSD and it is not ending. Seems like it is only beginning and it is more painful because my son is an only child. Your videos are helping me discover how deep this black trench is, and how my life has been wasted. It is very frightening to live this way, I pray and pray just so I balance every day.
So correct on this one! He will rage and upset everyone then comes back talking like nothing happened and can’t figure out why no one wants anything to do with them. Then, once again be angry and then start gaslighting and raging again, because they know they are not getting away with it.
Absolutely fantastic video. I co-worked with a man who I could swear you just solely described in this video. Every single trait and behaviour you described he done on me.
Working with a narcissist 9 hours a day was tough going. For an easy day and keep the peace I tolerated him for so long until I finally had enough and now we don't work together I can only describe it as I am out of his poisonous atmosphere. When I was in it there was a constant cycle of him fighting with me, critisising me, falling out with me and not speaking to me for a number of days before I got a half hearted apology and he acted like nothing had happened and I was supposed to immediately forget about the damage and anger he cause me. I was trapped in that constant cycle and poisonous atmosphere, now I am out of it and I can feel like I can breathe again.
I’ve seen and experienced this rage countless times .
My worst experience of a narc rage all my life was at Christmas Eve, when I was about 10 and my brother 8. My father wanted to read a part of the Bible but my mother, totally exhausted of days of work for the household, fell asleep sitting in a chair. It was not the way he planned our "nice" family evening! He yelled, hit and threw every object he could get, then cried yelling, it was absolutely devastating, heartbraking, frightening for me, I felt I would throw up... then, after maybe 20 minutes, he came back to the living room and ordered my brother and me to sing Christmas carols like nothing happened. Even today I can feel my chest and throat aching, thinking of that day.
That's horrible... Christmas was never a good day in our home either. My father would drink and often upset family members and then took it out on me.
My narc sister has explosive angry rages everywhere. She simply doesn't care who's around. I've been asked to leave 3 different places bc they thought I was her.
This is my brother. I had to sever ties totally because I feared for my safety. I’ve also had similar experiences with men in my life, unfortunately. Getting really good at seeing the desire for them to create the trauma bond. Hard pass.
My ex c. Narc did the rage where his face turned purple, his veins were popping out of his neck! It was abusive and scary. It was for something delusional and didn't even really happen. It came with the discard. That was it for me. Done.
Same exact situation for me!
I saved this video and watch it often, it is 100% exactly how my ex GF would behave. Since we didn’t live together, I would just leave, and we would break up for months at a time. It never really got better, and since they were on a cycle it was still damaging. She would do it on vacation, or in the car, where you couldn’t leave. Disproportionate anger, humiliating, and sadistic. First time you see this, just get out, she will not get better. It’s deliberate and damaging. They are lost souls.
Truth! Every word of it! I felt like you were talking about my life with my husband! He yells and screams at me, then only moments later, tells me how much he loves me and can't do without me!
My mother used to act like this. She still does but mostly uses my siblings to direct the rage at me by proxy. I've gone no contact. I finally, after all these years realized what was going on with the scapegoat role. At the end, all 3 of them wanted me dead and/or destroyed.
Wow
Wow that was my comment to
Hope you have found family is everywhere you find good kind souls willing to share and honour themselves and each other
AAAAND, the flying monkeys take off...
@@carlajohnson9369 I had one of my narc mom's moldy, 90 yr old F.M's take a verbal dump on me at her phucking funeral man. I was speechless!
@pixielated23 What for us is normal life is absolutely beyond comprehension to 'normal' people, weird eh?
In my experience his rage became physical abusive then he blamed me for abusing me; that toxic relationship lasted 1 year of abuse. I ended the relationship, he did everything in his sick powers to regain the relationship, all his efforts had failed. I was more than happy to move on without that sick narc in life. Thank you for sharing your video it's educational and informative. ❤
I did poke the bear. I had had enough and couldn't take another second of his abuse so I poked back. It got me beat up enough to finally call the police on him and get pictures taken and have the police mad enough to remove him from my house which by the way was in foreclosure things to him. What are nightmare. He he is 5 years and 2- months gone
My mother used her explosive rages to try to intimidate and control me. I just never reacted because wasn't allowed to. She was also very mean. One time when I was a teenager, she was driving me to my dancing lesson and my brother (mean-spirited) was sitting in the passenger seat up front and I was in the back. I thought it was kind of odd that he was coming because he usually had his own life. When I was a baby I'd suffered from a kidney infection and so I had to use the restroom a lot. Before we had left in the car, I had made sure to use the restroom, but halfway through the trip, I thought to myself, 'Why should I be afraid to tell my own mother that I need to use the restroom. That's ridiculous, right?' So I ventured to tell my mother. Immediately she flew into this vicious rage. Once she had calmed down, my brother spoke up and guess what? He had an idea - that we should take the scenic route. And, guess what? She agreed and pulled off the freeway at the very next exit and took the long way. They've both since passed away and she had disowned me when it was made clear to her that I wouldn't be controlled. So be it.
EVIL!
@Wayne M Thanks. Yes, I have had a good life, because of God. He's been very good to me!
That's funny because I've been thinking recently of an incident when I was about maybe 8 or 9. We were waiting for my dad in a parking lot and I had to pee so bad and I remember my mom just looking at me like I was dirt. I seem to remember going to a laundromat or something nearby, alone. Heavens, if that was one of my kids I would have moved heaven and earth to find a bathroom. I am 57 now and I still remember her stare, like I was inconvenient. And interesting, now when I take her out I often have to find her a bathroom urgently. This should be criminalised.
That severe rage sounds like demonic possession - foaming at the mouth etc
It is. 🙏
Sounds like it bc it is.
These people are the devil incarnate. That's if the devil exist.
Thank you for clarifying that this is domestic abuse even though there is no physical trauma.
This video may have just changed/saved my life. You do an incredible public service. Thank you endlessly.
I pray no one else has to go through this but know things during the pandemic have only gotten worse as supply is more difficult to come by.
Educate yourself, love yourself, plan an escape, record (carry a hidden mp3 or video on your phone), journal, and get help!
These unseen bruises take A LOT longer than physical ones to heal but you can learn to cope and even thrive with understanding and time. Be kind to yourself. This was never your fault!
This is one of the best videos I've seen in the subject. My mother was the narc. I went no contact.
The best explanation I've ever heard
Thanks.
My narc ex and my narc father were very raging and violent . They always had something negative to say and always nit picking just to start & instigate fights . But they act both overt & covert towards me . They started out overt but nowadays they are more covert . Yes they act as if they walk on water like they are just angels that no one can say anything too them that doesn't align with their false reality .
And when it's over "I don't want to fight anymore". Like a confession that they previously did want to fight. They know what they're doing. It's a chess game to them. They have to take every piece of our self respect in order to win. It's never not a game. They do not feel things the way we do. They are really good at spinning things to make them look like the white knight.
Thank you Jill for another informative video on the topic of these vile creatures known as narcissist. It helps to explain their predatory and aggressive behavior. I agree with you about narcissistic abuse being as bad or worse than other types of abuse. I also think it is probably the most frequent type of abuse but because it is so covert most of the time, except the rages, people don't understand their being abused. Then you have a difficult time understanding it ourselves because we think that abuse is either physical, sexual or verbal abuse. I didn't understand how abusive it was until many years later just like the abuse I got from parents. We usually think of the abuser as a big man abusing a small women. In my case it was just the opposite but the abuse wasn't done physically it was done psychologically.
Also if you try to explain to another person, who is not familiar with NPD, and try and explain what happened they don't really understand and think you are being petty. That's why you can't really worry about trying to get others to understand because you really can't understand if you haven't been through it yourself. We all know what we've been through and I'm grateful to have places to go on the internet where people understand and people like you to validate and educate me about what happened.
This is one of the best explanations of what's happening in the mind of someone with NPD I've heard, thank you!
agreed
I can still picture the look of shock and confusion on my raging mother's face when I got up , collected my things and walked out of the house without looking back during her most hellish verbal assault at me when I was 31 yrs old . Why I put up with that garbage for so many years I don't know . I WAS DONE . But to her our 'relationship' was still on as she contacted me about 4 months later to tell me that she'd been diagnosed with lung cancer - she was actually looking for sympathy and a commitment of home care from me - neither of which she got . I still hear her screeching name calling insults in my head every day and she's been dead for 33 years . That bitch was truly the most negative thing that has existed in my life .
Thank you for sharing the truth.
" The cycle will never end ! This is how trauma bond keeps us stuck."
"
Thank you, brilliant expanation !
I can’t believe I just found this video…it is SO helpful - yet I searched and searched for years and there is so little that explains this this way…I have saved and will share thank you 🙏
Their rage can also manifest without provocation. I witnessed this once, he blew up, unprovoked in the middle of what I thought was a congenial conversation. Immediately and almost reflexively the next thing out of his mouth when he clocked my reaction was "Oh, you're not ready for this yet.". Most bizarre. The only sense I could make of this nonsense was that someone else had irked him and he thought he'd explode on my patch to vent his anger. (cognitive dissonance)
It is often a fake theatrical exercise for intimidation and scaring/startling you, simply another manipulative thing to do, they will sometimes combine it with some misplaced smirk or grin (feeling powerful and satisfied)
Lesley....a solid question here.Did you row back or explode in a rage yourself?
I ask this as somebody who recently was discarded, then divorced a wife, ended up taking temporary accomodation with two parents who, even at 84 and 85, seemed to be triggering each other into rages. Subsequently my Mother and Father both survived a horrific flu-like bug(way bigger than anything i'd ever had), both lost two to three stone in that short period and our Mother suffered bigtime by not taking medications and has ended up in a home.
Now, please stay with me here. After nursing them back to health, i became very aware of something. I read up greatly during my discard(and the trauma which appeared after) and what i have witnessed is what seems to be a narcissistic Mother who has triggered a Father with chronic anxiety. Since my Mother has been in a home(old folk's home..due to physical effects after her illness..and now has no capacity..spending her time in the home making enemies of everyone), amazingly, my Father has blossomed in front of me, even becoming stronger, more conversational, helpfull recently through a bout of gout i suffered with(an 87 year old man walking up and down stairs to aid his son, who could not walk..never once complaining).
This has been mind-blowing as i have seen him thrive and become the Father i never ever witnessed.
I now strongly feel that what we are talking about here is and always has been a row-triggering narcissistic Mother constantly goading a man with chronic anxiety who would explode into what came over as raging but might have been a defensive mechanism.
I lived this nightmare as well and often watched my ex smirk as we rowed constantly about "what a pathetic excuse i was as a man"(despite raising a daughter for 17 years and looking after her, my ex, with every illness..yet now i remember SHE never bothered..at one point even calling me a cripple after i suffered over ten different ailments one year...the year before her discard of me..
YOU DO THE MATH.
I WILL NEVER FORGET THE HELP AND UNDERSTANDING MY FATHER HAS SHOWN ME...but it has been recently returned. I have helped him retain his finances after a family member decided they would be better used to garnish that individual's own "portfolio".
My father wept when the Bank told him the reason they were helping him by shutting down the fool who was taking everything from him was because that is their job to look after him. Very touching moment and will live with me forever.
OUT OF THE BLUES, COMES THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN....MY Father travelled 15 miles on two different buses to achieve that moment with the Bank Manager and witnessing the smile coming back onto his face as the beautiful countryside flew by..
..frankly, took my breath away.
This MAN raised me to be honest...and NEVER EVER RAISE MY HAND TO A WOMAN.
I HAVE HONOURED HIS ADVICE...and always will.
Funny how time teaches up that some things are the complete opposite of what we thought they were or are.
@@BLITZY261 Froze, Rabbit in the headlights as I was absolutely shocked. I was blindsided. It was inappropriate in the situation and totally random, unwarranted, came from nowhere and not something I'd expected or seen before from him. Most bizarre. Today I'd rage back, I'm afraid to say. I've had my fill of people raging in my face with no comeback to them. I did it last Tuesday to a neighbour who decided to have an unwarranted rant in my direction so I gave her what for!!!! LOL
It sounds like he was mindfully grooming you to BE ready 🦠ew
BLITZY261 yes it can be absolutely mystifying especially if we grow up in it. I am glad of the restorative aspects of your experience.
Oh my goodness!...I have endured 48yrs of this behaviour ..from my husband..I have suffered 5 breakdowns !..💔😔
Bless you 🙏 You are not alone ❤️
Great video, Jill. I must say, it's extremely challenging to maintain both, my composure & dignity when my mother is raging @ me in front of friends & strangers. This happens semi-regularly. however, I just can never predict.when. I always hope that people would see her craziness, but, too often, it's "Oh, wow, what did you do to piss her off like that?" My reply is "I was born."
Even before I started seeing your videos and learning about Narcissistic traits I always thought to myself of my ex, 'when he is good he is really, really good and when he is bad he is horrid'. I hadn't realized until after I'd been alone for a while how much of my time and energy he took. His need was never ending. He lied to me, had a harem and cared nothing about me. I'm finding myself again and doing what I want to do for a change. It had always been about him and catering to him. Unfortunately, he has a few other victims on the hook now. I pity them and him but obviously his behavior is working for him. What a relief to be done with him.
It was each time really like nuclear explosion for my soul and my cognition. Only GOD knows, how much times I went through it. Thank You:)))
Damn, I keep forgetting my mom is an emotional toddler. I must program that into my mind.
I clicked on three dots by this post. It was a mistake. I didn't have any idea why they were there.If it was some sort of complaint, tell You Tube that it was entirely my error, please.
That was the best explanation of narcissistic rage I’ve listened to. Thanks
I had no idea what I've been up against all my life until my therapist directed me to you guys on TH-cam. Thank you for being there for me to follow. I'm so glad I don't have to continue this for the rest of my life. 62 years of this crap has been enough and I am so happy to be healing. I am thankful to have myself for company for the first time ever really. I have been pretty narcissist free since March 25th 2019 when I had all of my mother I was going to ever subject myself to in my life again and I knew I meant it. After years of her and countless boyfriends who tried to kill me I am finally finished and yes I am still alive. And that makes all of them so mad
It is true. The best revenge is to be happy and content with yourself and have a nice life but narcissist Will never be happy and they will be in rain with the fact that you broke free from them.
I was being raged at by two Malignant Narcissist, Female and a Male Monster, I left ASAP because I knew it wasn't normal! No Contact and I changed my number!
It was channels like this that allowed me to see what was happening to me. Pattern: Every 6 days he would threaten separation. I started keeping track on a calendar. The last time he did it was so mild that I had doubt, but I went no contact. It has been a year. I wonder why I had to experience such evil when I’m kind, calm (vegan-yogi) and loving. I dug deep and made discoveries about myself. I don’t trust anyone at this point.
you just explained my dad 100%... throughout my childhood I keep on thinking something is not right... i was scoled and hit by him till age 14 untill he figured that this can get exposed at my school when we stopped hitting and kepts on screeming at me.. he never gave me money to even buy things at market. even till 35 years of my age. i cud not figure this out untill I saw these videos. i have already become numb due to this and become a slave to him and alwya stay in a mode of waitng for any orders from him. if not heard he shouts at me... my whole life has went in a confusion . i cud not understand what to do .. what to become.. in my life. it is curse to be born in such family... and BTW>> my dad is a Governer big officer himself and has an extraordinary god like reputation outside the home..
They love to swear a lot when they get mad...
This is the best explanation. I only wish I had been exposed to this information 25 years ago . I have suffered all the toxic abuse and I applaud you formaking others aware and how to save themselves from a life of pain physically and emotionally . I am 69 years old and trying to find peace in my life and so can all if you.
My ex would call me a narcissist all the time. I’m very patient but she would gaslight me to eventually react with anger. It wasn’t until we broke up and I saw these videos that I realized she was the narcissist
Oh my gosh this describes my narcissistic husband so much. After he rages and says such hurtful insults to me and then maybe the next day I ask him why he said such and such he looks at me like I have 2 heads! Like what in the world am I talking about??
I just experienced this type of rage a week ago today. It's taken me days to process this rage. He was an inch from my face calling me names, he took his index finger and called me names poking his finger on my forehead. His eyes were blank. I don't know what came over me, but I looked straight into his eyes (which were an inch away...geeeez) and firmly said "You don't affect me". It made his rage so much worse. I was lying too, he was scaring me. Poking the bear was a big mistake, I put myself in danger. NEVER AGAIN.
All you said, hits the nail. Spine chilling to hear explain what happened in my marriage. I confronted her with her 'devilish' rages, but she neglected. She replied simply 'everyone gets angry sometimes .. '.
Very informative. Wonderful comments... I have narc parents, I’m in my 40s. So I thought I knew what dysfunction and abuse was...,Psychopaths generally don’t rage. My psychopath husband would smile like a sweet little boy when he would abuse. But they, psychopaths, know exactly what they are. The narc are fragmented Almost like two personalities.
You're spot on here! It took me many years to realize I was dealing with a "nut." Thought it was my fault. He's a tiger waiting to be poked, and it doesn't take much. I can deal with him much better thanks to my faith and these kinds of videos. But now, how to escape. That takes up alot of my thoughts these days.
You're Not Alone,mine ( Narc-Psychopath husband) made sure during the years to make it impossible for me to leave..he controls finances,cars etc,in addition I'm European and I don't have anyone here to help me. It's pure Torture ( last week I literally Urinated on myself when he started screaming at me Again)
I already had 2 Heart Surgeries and I have tremors in my right arm and leg ( from nervous system). I would rather be in the house with Corona Virus than Him.
We are Not the Other Player in this tennis match from Hell,We are the Ball.
Please stay positive and keep to yourself as much as you can.take care.sorry for ranting, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone..
@@renatalivlove75 Thank you for concern. I do hope you can get out of that relationship. I pray for you the right timing to be able to leave. ❤
Thank you. This helps me to better understand my adult daughter and her anger towards her brother and parents. After years of pounding our heads against the wall, I’m starting to better understand her disorder. Again, thanks. I only hope I can survive.
you describe my daughter. She is a 32 year old single mother and teacher. I raised the child for the first 3 years of his life. I do not understand where she is coming from. I am left feeling beaten to the ground. I done so much for her. I am moving out of her place, in a few weeks, but the lies, screaming, blaming. Unreal. Then she uses her son, to hold over me. She tells me it is a privilege to watch her son. So when she is mad at me, I cannot do what every my grandson and I were doing, or planned.
The child needs to be rescued from his mother as the child is helpless.Keep the child safe.
Jill ! U nailed it! My ex would get BEET RED in the face & scream at me inches away from my face & threaten to kill me.
Mine always said I was attacking him, I was selfish, I see black and white, I cause all our problems, etc. just so exhausting. He was never scary violent when he was ragging. More conniving and hurtful in ways no one knew or would be able to see so that way I freak out and then he tells everyone how shitty I am. So good at flipping the script and leaving out parts to stories that make him look bad.
Perfectly concise while also saturated with exactly accurate profiles. THANK YOU
Another very helpful video. Thank you. And thank you for sharing your own personal experiences. I'm sorry that you had to go through that with your father. But the truly wonderful thing is that you have taken your painful experiences and used them to educate yourself and to help others. You are truly a special human being!
Though what I experienced was from a covert....behind closed doors and I never knew when It was coming. Would go into something I have never experienced before with anybody. A rage so scary. Yes...just as you say, he knew just how and where to hit me to not show marks. I ran out for the last time never going back. Wasn't going to allow him to put another hand on me. And of course none of it was his fault but all mine telling me have relieved, He doesn't ever have to worry about my manipulating lying deceptive ways. Its just so unbelievable how they think and go around believing this is their world and everyone else is invading it.
That's not a covert narc. I spent 50 years with a covert narc and he was diagnosed as one clinically. You're describing an overt narc completely. I'm a Life Coach like Jill that specializes in narc abuse.
@@judyscheiber3661 If you listen to her video she mentions that though a covert can rage in the same way as an overt. Which, my ex narc traits and behaviors was very hidden and got his admiration and validation from the outside world from being the hero, knowing you would go to him for help and being liked as well as getting others to trust him.He never showed he was above and better then others or taking over conversations and everything else they do cause they feel better or entitled. He Always put out in the public eye to be the good guy. He knew what he had to hide in order to achieve this image. So yes, they can rage like no other even being a covert. At the end of the day, coverts overts and all others in between are toxic and have abusive behaviors. Thank you though, I appreciate your input.
@@judyscheiber3661 no offense but you're not correct.A covert Narc Can Rage like a Bull.. and then go back to his insecure, paranoid little self again. They can fluctuate from Covert to Overt and Vice Versa. My Monster only Has "Courage" when he Screamed at Me, Bullying Me, Insulted me, Belittling me etc( last week I literally Urinated on myself during a "courage" act), yet if he had to stand up to a Real Man,He would be Hiding, Running and Become Mute...they are Monsters in Human skin.
@@judyscheiber3661 so whats the difference between a covert and overt?
Stay calm. Their rage is not your fault. Thank you 🙏 your advice is brilliant. God bless you ❤
Such coherent, precise information !
I am sO grateful for you getting this accurate~ evil reality out .
You will forever ne a part of helping victims sort out and become educated on what THIS is !!!
Thank you.
~ Jacklyn
Long story short.. run
So it's calculated. They know exactly what they're doing and ramp it up when they see the target intimidated.
I can't believe how many people have been through narcisstic abuse! I have a narcisstic mother! U have to protect yourself against these people don't share how your feeling with them. A narcisst will punch you right in your weaknesses spot right at your weakest moment whenever you need love the most x
Uncontrolled and unbalanced completely mad. Keep away to be safe.
Sian Megginson Sometimes they cannot be avoided. you have to be enlightened and bring down their hell upon them.
If the n come into rage even the others r forced to come into rage
Oh my God my boyfriend used to say he only abused me because I had poked the bear and my response was "but you're not a bear, you're a human being with higher thinking and reasoning".
Oh God! Why do narcs love that ridiculous "poke the bear" phrase so much?! To them any minor slight justifies their wild, animalistic rage!
Love all your stuff..Helping me through a very tough period in life.🙏
This was an excellent video! You really cover the actual experiences we go through with this kinda rage.
Thank you.
I would like to hear more about the vulnerable/covert narc’s rage. Thank you.
Few explanations are so clear and succinct. Thank you.
I have seen many videos and never have my situation described so well, it was hard for me to understand how someone so wonderful could become a monster. I stayed 5 years because in between rages it was so good.