Letting Go and Moving On - Lessons from Ending a Long-Term Relationship

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 72

  • @chrislamarca5719
    @chrislamarca5719 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I have been let go, and now I am in the process of letting go.
    You made an interesting point: in a real friendship, you need to know what is going on with a friend-which should be their wish also. When genuine interest fails, the friendship fails.

    • @donnaatienza8001
      @donnaatienza8001 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Your so right indeed

    • @LibbySlaughter101
      @LibbySlaughter101 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I think the problem arises bc most people, while they may be happy to let a friendship go, just need a bit of closure. - I had a close friend who moved thousands of miles away to another state & was initially eager to remain 'phone friends' - But after some while she was 'busy' when I phoned. - I had already concluded that the friendship was no longer thriving but called out of courtesy & also a genuine interest in her welfare so - it was disappointing to just be told my friend was busy. Of course I stopped calling after a couple of these excuses but I still wondered if I'd said something wrong. It was unsettling. - I also had a funny experience when a female acquaintance kept asking if I would accompany her here or there & I couldn't bc I was in the midst of a domestic upheaval - When things finally settled I asked her if she'd like to have a coffee & she responded that she had met someone else (another female) & that they were now 'good friends'! - I was admittedly quite taken aback bc I have multiple friends & also bc I thought she had understood my previous problems. So maybe I was lucky that she was so candid! What kind of a friend would she have been? I met her again a couple of years later & she wanted ' to catch up' - to which I politely refused. - We live & learn.

  • @liedyMc
    @liedyMc ปีที่แล้ว +17

    As I have grown and matured , I have learned friendships live on a two way street, not a one way .. when it gets difficult learn to love them where they stand , it’s ok to walk away .
    There is no future in our past, take the lessons and all the wonderful memories and seek joy and happiness:) Hugs xx

    • @donnaatienza8001
      @donnaatienza8001 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Your right there's no future in the past.

    • @liedyMc
      @liedyMc ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@donnaatienza8001 I learned this the hard way but it's never too late, best lesson in all my 73 years.

  • @TheRetireeDiary
    @TheRetireeDiary ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This really resonated with me. I’ve recently chosen to distance myself from a friend of almost 40 years. Her support of a range of political ideologies and candidate that are genuinely threatening and dangerous to people I love made the friendship unsustainable for me. Sad but necessary for my mental health.

  • @WWGWGA-bi2rv
    @WWGWGA-bi2rv ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I think it’s cruel to end a long term friendship and not tell the person why you want to end it. Someone did that to me, and I will forever wonder why she wanted to end it. Was it because she became more conservative and didn’t like my political view? I’ll never know. I still think about her now and then, but will never call her. She would have to call me.
    Thank you Margaret for this very interesting thoughtful topic.

  • @nancystinger7393
    @nancystinger7393 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I hope you are recovering well from your surgery . 🌷Several years ago I had who I thought was s good friend and I was a very good friend to her. We were both going through similar things with our sons and would uplift each other. Out of the blue she ghosted me I would call her many times and she ignored my calls texts etc. no explanation . I would see her on Facebook and knew she was physically ok. I think we at least owe it to a friend who has been loyal to communicate feelings even if it is to say I don’t want to be your friend. I feel I wasted my time energy emotions and in some ways monetarily . . I have one other life long friend but I find even with her I am always the one to reach out . I am my own best friend and doing a reset with my life. I am now retired have moved into affordable housing so it’s a new beginning in many ways.
    Have a beautiful day Margaret❤️

  • @tphan3643
    @tphan3643 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    It’s more difficult to let go of a toxic relative or family member when you have to see them at family gatherings.

    • @donnaatienza8001
      @donnaatienza8001 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes indeed it sure is

    • @amandahunter4034
      @amandahunter4034 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It is, but you can choose which family events to attend.

    • @doloresaquines1529
      @doloresaquines1529 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      To. Seeing and letting go are two different things. You can see them, but pretend they are not there.

  • @adri-lj1hz4fn3w
    @adri-lj1hz4fn3w ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Hi Margaret....you re quite right....I am 64 and I realize that I need new friends now...I have a few since childhood, we sometimes hang out to have a cup of coffee and we always have the same conversations. Love your videos...hugs from Argentina

  • @cathyp6788
    @cathyp6788 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for posting this. This discussion is not out there and it is a painful situation. Sometimes a person just needs to hear it is ok. It happens.❤‍🩹

  • @lindaj6017
    @lindaj6017 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This video touched me very much today. So thank you for it. I have a best friend that has always been more like a sister than my own sister. We have been friends for almost 50 years & have shared so many experiences together. We were always there for each other, day in and day out, and always made time for each other. But during the pandemic she became addicted to Facebook & getting in touch with her old high school friends which wouldn't be a problem for me but she cancels time with me to be with them and lies about it saying she is not feeling well enough to get together. She has cancelled many times. She also has started making unkind remarks to me about not remembering something or judging me for one thing or another. Plus, we would go shopping and go to lunch and as soon as we sat down she would look at her FB feed. Anyway, I told her that some of her actions have hurt me so she sent me a text 6 months ago saying we should take a break. At first I was very sad; I was hoping to sit down with her and talk it out. But the initial stress I felt being so disappointed by her has diminished and I actually think I am in a better place without her in it. The stress was awful. At some point we probably will get together again but for now most days I am okay with her not being in my life. The only thing I worry about is her health as she does have some issues. By the way, I have many other friends from grammar school, high school and college plus cousins that I keep in touch with regularly either in person or on zoom so I'm okay with friends. Thanks for listening. I have not shared this with anyone else.

    • @sixtyandme
      @sixtyandme  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for trusting us with this information. Take good care x

  • @SusanBrown-nd9mw
    @SusanBrown-nd9mw ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Oh so very true. At some point I had to learn to respect the other person’s need to distance themself from me. Difficult.

  • @donnathomason230
    @donnathomason230 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    You look absolutely beautiful! I’m so glad you’re feeling better!🥰

    • @frankwilliam668
      @frankwilliam668 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was so attracted to your beautiful pictures🥰 on your profile when I came across it, so I decided to write to you so we could be good friends in honesty and in trust ❤️ so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Engineer Frank Williams from Nashville Tennessean, where are you from?

  • @mrdarcy9379
    @mrdarcy9379 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    So very true what you are saying Margaret here. Perhaps this is all apart of us evolving into different people along our own life's journey? But yes, I've been through this and it's very painful. My approach is to honour the time's that were shared with the other. To be able to wish them well. And to be able to move forward without malice.

    • @donnaatienza8001
      @donnaatienza8001 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes try to move forward without hard feelings. Easier said than done though.

    • @mrdarcy9379
      @mrdarcy9379 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@donnaatienza8001 absolutely yes, not a simple,nor easy position to be in. But the alternative is more uncomfortable I think when you have two people who no longer have the same connection they once had. And conversation can become so awkward & often strained. I have one ex friend who wasn't able to be kind through this transition and I found this stressful. And another who was very accepting of my feelings and was gracious about the process. I guess we're all different,and the endings are then too.

    • @frankwilliam668
      @frankwilliam668 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was so attracted to your beautiful pictures🥰 on your profile when I came across it, so I decided to write to you so we could be good friends in honesty and in trust ❤️ so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Engineer Frank Williams from Nashville Tennessean, where are you from?

  • @anamilian680
    @anamilian680 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am trying to get new friends at the young age of 62. Hopefully they will be positive. I have a long time family friend we have always been close. Lately though negativity has just become her new best friend. It is really difficult. I keep trying though. Thank you so much

  • @margaretjones7819
    @margaretjones7819 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks much for sharing your profound article..Yes! You have to move on when its not working for you anymore....Luv lots!!

  • @barbchrisman5066
    @barbchrisman5066 ปีที่แล้ว

    First of all, you're beautiful and you look better than ever! We all go through these relationship changes ... good job describing the process!

  • @martaruvalcaba6016
    @martaruvalcaba6016 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Hi Margaret thank you for today’s topic. I broke off a friendship from my youth recently, l felt sad but later l realized it was time . Letting go was ok because we are two very different people now. Like you said time to make new friends🎉🎉🎉

    • @sixtyandme
      @sixtyandme  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are so welcome

    • @donnaatienza8001
      @donnaatienza8001 ปีที่แล้ว

      At this point I'm not sure if I want any new friends at all.

  • @ceciliagibbs3970
    @ceciliagibbs3970 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hello Margaret,
    Í admired you.
    You are an inspiration for a lot of women over sixty.
    A warm Hello all the way from Beautiful Costa Rica. ❤

  • @DoreenBellDotan
    @DoreenBellDotan ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When we're young we just connect uninhibitedly with people we "click" with. I think I was best at making friends when I was a teenager. I need to relearn that from my younger self.
    I'm in Israel for 40 years. So, I can't be in touch with the vast majority of old friends directly. I'm glad that I can connect with some people from as far back as grade school on the internet. One of them visited with us twice, as her husband is Israeli and his family lives in our general area. So, when they came to Israel, they came to visit us too! That was wonderful.

  • @Sunflower-tm2hi
    @Sunflower-tm2hi ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love your videos, watching from Basel, (going through stage four thyroid cancer), you are delightful and speak a lot of sense, recover well and have a happy day! Hugs x

  • @FranciscaParedes-sj4ts
    @FranciscaParedes-sj4ts ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Margaret enjoyed your talk very much. Thank you.

  • @rafiaziauddin3266
    @rafiaziauddin3266 ปีที่แล้ว

    Had a childhood friendship ,but the influences and people around her insisted it all . Allegations on my meals and getting me insulted through her children shattered me

  • @wmb7163
    @wmb7163 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Powerful topic. Thanks for tackling it. So glad you're doing well.

  • @DoreenBellDotan
    @DoreenBellDotan ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It's OK to move on when friends have just grown in different directions. It hurts, but it's healthy, natural growth. It's a tragedy when real friendships are lost because of staged political positions on the part of politicians who pretend to be nemeses in public but likely have a good laugh at lunch in the cafeteria at the people who are polarized by their divide and conquer strategy .

  • @joan7562
    @joan7562 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    hope you are as well as you look, thinking back I held on too long due to the fact I couldnt believe someone I thought of as afriend wasnt one at all, look in the mirror there is your friend work on that , forever with you

    • @twannapermenter8229
      @twannapermenter8229 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Realizing yrs later that those you thought of as friends are mostly just associates. It's traumatic. I've had to adjust my meaning of friendship more than once through the yrs. This helps me to be clear about what my expectations are of those I call friend their expections of me.

    • @joan7562
      @joan7562 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@twannapermenter8229 we learn, and thats the point, hurts but as someone once told me, pain means your still alive, lol, dont know it I like that thought, but we are here relating, wonderful

    • @donnaatienza8001
      @donnaatienza8001 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes indeed.

  • @carolinabeachkat
    @carolinabeachkat ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Loved this. I have had to let go of several LTR....and I've always believed it's ok ...even relatives.

  • @brigidspencer5123
    @brigidspencer5123 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Powerful video! The women and children have much in common with women and children in Latin America.

  • @saraiannaccone1790
    @saraiannaccone1790 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you 😊

  • @lisaschmidt8466
    @lisaschmidt8466 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You’re looking great. I love your hair length too.

  • @miriamzajfman4305
    @miriamzajfman4305 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You just helped me not to feel guilty . Montreal 💌

  • @donnageesey9508
    @donnageesey9508 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very good video! Well said. Thank you very much!😊🙏

  • @joolst1149
    @joolst1149 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I just had to end a 30 year old friendship due to politic, among other things. Sad indeed, but necessary.

  • @plarsen2654
    @plarsen2654 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Isn't it time? Isn't it time to let go? Isn't it time to let go of what has already let go of you?

  • @PolishedAfterSixtyYvette
    @PolishedAfterSixtyYvette ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I had a friendship of over 30 years. When she moved, she stopped communicating with me. I don’t know of any reason why this would have happened and I spend many nights wondering if I did something to cause this.

    • @penelope5500
      @penelope5500 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I doubt if it's anything you did. Some people just need to have the availability/presence of a person to want to interact. Doesn't make them bad, just the way they are.

    • @LibbySlaughter101
      @LibbySlaughter101 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@penelope5500 That's true. Some people have to live almost next door to their 'friends' & other people thrive on being slightly distant. And then there are people who only want 'useful' people as friends. So if you move two suburbs away you are quickly replaced. The way the world is.

    • @juliagriego7693
      @juliagriego7693 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’ve experienced that with a friend of 54 yrs. There just was no future in our past. It’s painful but really, it’s the healthy choice to move on. It’s not you.💜

    • @et1016
      @et1016 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Unfortunately, it seems that people are eager to let go and move on instead of putting forth effort at nurturing relationships. I see this far too often and it often comes with deep regret. Proceed with caution.

  • @RoxanneKnapp-kf3rp
    @RoxanneKnapp-kf3rp ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I needed to end a 30+ year old friendship for various hurtful reasons in that I was used, betrayed and hung out to dry…so to speak. I was totally blindsided 👻’ed

    • @carolynnewyork6919
      @carolynnewyork6919 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wonderful educational an needed topic. As we live time in life changes. Some time it's just you an just you .we cry an life know that life has changed. It's a new day in your life. We must except that day live an learn. Thank you Margaret.

    • @frankwilliam668
      @frankwilliam668 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@carolynnewyork6919 I was so attracted to your beautiful pictures🥰 on your profile when I came across it, so I decided to write to you so we could be good friends in honesty and in trust ❤️ so as time goes on it will bring something great for us in the future, hope you don't mind? I'm Engineer Frank Williams from Nashville Tennessean, where are you from?

  • @1_viewer
    @1_viewer ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I remember letting a friend go the first time when I was in high school. She took more than she gave . The next friend i let go of at 30. She was always extremely late to meeting me to go places and it got ridiculous. I then let go of my long time husband when he was not my teammate anymore. I had to ghost him and seven years later he died. Sometimes you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself to move forward in life.
    All that being said, I am a loyal friend who doesn’t like reaching a point of ending a relationship.

  • @janicesitzes241
    @janicesitzes241 ปีที่แล้ว

    When I was going through the divorce, everyone turned their back and the worst was my church family. They stopped all contact with me

  • @kschindle1
    @kschindle1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    We made amends but never retained our friendship.

  • @terrifromm5085
    @terrifromm5085 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your eyes look beautiful. I realized that a "friend" who had been my 7th grade math teacher (we reconnected via Facebook) after 40 years was using me and didn't value our friendship. That was the last straw for me. Another friend I had known in college and we lost contact after graduation. We ran into each other after we moved to the same city. Our new friendship lasted about 10 years. We both felt that our friendship had run it's course. I don't miss either of them and I'm sure the feeling is mutual. I still do see them because we all live in the same town. We do ignore each other. It is what it is.

  • @jonesy9035
    @jonesy9035 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The hard part is when a friend that is really no longer a friend passes away….. then you will spend years questioning yourself… was I right about distancing myself from them? Could I have saved them or done something different to help them? You can drive yourself crazy with these questions.

    • @sixtyandme
      @sixtyandme  ปีที่แล้ว

      You have a very gentle heart. Stay strong x

  • @janicesitzes241
    @janicesitzes241 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am going through a divorce after 40 years.

  • @melaniepalker9998
    @melaniepalker9998 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Greetings and salutations everyone!😊

  • @MsBritishwoman
    @MsBritishwoman ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hello all

  • @devasadhvi
    @devasadhvi ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have a x sister in law suddenly stopped texting back.

  • @danielrichter465
    @danielrichter465 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for the video, I found out that investing is not for everybody, you just need a strong stomach too see your portfolio go down. It might be wiser for a novice to start with copy trading investing, but it is not easy. To invest in growth stocks it is another level, definitely you need to know what are you doing.