“Didn’t Kurtis Conner already talk about this” yah his vid wasn’t demonetized for a week before finally being manually reviewed by TH-cam so he could post it :)
@@anacarlos According to the news story in the Independent, she said "I got married just before Christmas and am hoping to be divorced or annulled by the end of January." so it could be either one. I just said divorced because the news story said divorced.
@@mnschoen And annulment cancels the paperwork as if it never happened. Otherwise you just.. wouldn't be married. Many places still have a consummation clause, and its really left there so that if there IS a dispute after signing the papers that results in the couple not sleeping together you can point to it and go "They did XYZ, made me so distraught we didn't even have sex on the honeymoon" and boom. No longer married. Still has to be processed as an annulment though.
There was some couples therapist that said nonconsensual cake-smashing is the BIGGEST indicator of a future failed marriage, from their experience. As it turns out, deliberately making your wife cry in public on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of your lives is kind of a red flag.
some wedding photographer with a big experience named several signs on the wedding day which shows that pair will end up divorsing, cake thing was Number 1, If I remember correctly.
Not only that, but doing it in front of her family and friends...right after you said a bunch of vows that would suggest you would love, honor and cherish her...😬
Just like… watching men violently fight to violate their wife’s one simple request of ‘no god please stop’ is insanely triggering for very obvious reasons
"Stupid bitches should be grateful to be getting married in the first place! It's their fault for ruining their husbands' lives by... wanting to commit to them?" ...dear God, I can hear my braincells committing harakiri right now. The fucked up part is how common this mindset is.
Let’s remember tall cakes have to have dowels in them for support. So throwing entire cakes at people could take an eye out or worse. No wonder that bride bled when the cake was smashed into her head.
she bled because her husband was still HOLDING THE CAKE CUTTER while smashing cake into her face which is EVEN WORSE IMO. like not everyone knows cakes have dowels in them BUT EVERYONE KNOWS NOT TO SHOVE AT SOMEONE WITH A SHARP CUTTY THING IN HAND????
I attended my cousin’s wedding this year and watched the groom like a HAWK for cake shenanigans. There were none. Because he values, respects, and deeply likes her as a person.
When my childhood best friend got married, I'm glad I didn't even consider the possibility. Her now husband has always been so gentle and in love with her that he probably would rather have died than ruin the happiest day of his life. (Seriously, there were so many happy tears on both sides and they held hands the entire day basically)
Went to my cousins wedding. The groom was told repeatedly by multiple people to not shove her face in the cake, she was actually down w a light hearted cake fight and at first they were just lightly smearing frosting on each others faces. Her husband finally decided to literally grab her hair and shove my cousins head as hard into her cake as possible. The reason multiple people told him no? It was a tiered cake. After an emergency room visit we were told one of the wooden dowel in the cake had missed her eye by centimeters.
Literally just texted my husband (he’s hanging out on the other side of the house) “Thank you for not smashing cake into my face on our wedding day.” Man says “The thought never occurred to me. You looked so happy next to me. Is that something people do?” And just. Bless this man.
The way the women back into corners or put their hands up as their new husband towers over them and uses full force is a look into EXACTLY what happens when they have an argument at home.
Yeah some of these videos are TERRIFYING. The guys backing their wives into a corner and shoving her to the floor, or physically grappling with her, ignoring the word ‘no’, making her bleed- it’s straight up abuse!! You’re scaring and hurting your partner, there’s no other way to call that.
To be fair to the guy who froze up when his mom started berating the bride, that might be more of an indicator of abuse than of over-attachment to his mom. Freezing is a very common fear response.
yeah as a victim of abuse if my abuser was berating my partner I'd just fully freeze up. my brain physically wouldn't let me do anything in that situation
Or just shock. Like you don't know what to do, or worry intervening will escalate things. When I get really anxious, I tend to freeze. It's hard to really know what's going on in someone's head in situations like that. But judging from the way the bride immediately spoke up, I do get the vibe the mom's Iikely either been emotionally abusive and the wife recognizes this or that she's been causing problems throughout the process. Like something about the wife's demeanor feels like she's sticking up for him and she knew this might happen. As a child of abuse myself, I've definitely been the person who froze when confronted by my abuser.
If the parents who abused you are still in your life to the point you would bring them to your wedding, you have no business getting married. You’re not ready to be responsible for a family if you’re going to let an abuser have access to them.
I think this comment has a point. Also, he was quiet when he spoke up, but he DID speak up. If the gender roles were reversed (quiet wife and berating dad), she would’ve been seen has the victim.
My husband used to do this. It's been a very complicated type of abuse with his mother his whole life, but thankfully he got over that soon. If my husband couldn't stick up for me, especially on our WEDDING DAY, I wouldn't go through with it. Now she knows if she even thinks of speaking to me like she has everyone else in her life, she risks losing him for good. I feel for these people with abusive parents, but don't bring a spouse into it until it gete better. Please.
Men act like they’re not typically the ones proposing. Like do not ask me to marry you and then attack me at our wedding or pretend you’re being held hostage . I will go to jail.
“A world of hetero horror” really sums it up for me, just because you’re shoving cake at someone doesn’t mean you’re not shoving them, it’s still assault
Lmao I mean I wouldn't mind having my face shoved in cake Hell imma RKO the best man into it Buuut if he or she doesn't want it then please don't I shoulda said that before the edit I apologize
the worst part of those videos of the grooms basically attacking the brides with cake is that everyone is laughing. can you imagine being assaulted by your partner and your entire family laughs at you?
I absolutely get your point and I’m sure you’re right about the brides feelings! But I must say it’s quite a natural reaction to try and ease the tension or react to a suprising situation by laughing and it’s kind of contagious in a social situation. One stupid person laughs cos they actually think it’s funny, rest don’t know how to react so the safest thing to do is to copy the loudest person. In some situations people may think it was a planned thing that the bride is on board with, like ”this is so crazy it must have been cleared beforehand, it’s must be just a show” until the bride seems clearly upset. It also seems often the reaction goes from ”HAHAHAA!!! WOO! 🤣🤣” to turning into ”Whooaaahh! Ehhh! 😅😅” as the situation escalates.
For real, ask Chris Rock. Imagine being assaulted by someone and they give that same person an award and a standing ovation. Boys will be boys Am eye right?
My friend and his bride WANTED a cake smash, so they asked me to make a cake SPECIFICALLY for that, as a little fun thing. They talked about it, they agreed on it, and BOTH consented to it. It was cute, there was an outfit change for both parties and both got covered in soft yellow cake and whipped cream. That is how it SHOULD be!!!
That’s the only time when it’s acceptable, I’m also glad they told you to make the cake for smashing because sometimes cakes can have rods and other hard things to keep them in place.
@rosesandmilk Yeah, they said they just want it to be as gentle as possible so it wouldn't hurt either of them. I didn't think about rods but more the edible sugar crystals, glitters, and small candies that were on their non-smashable wedding cake.
@JoshuaAndres Fantastic!!! The reception lasted longer than the ceremony, but I think that was by design? I got to help my friend marry his dream girl and met some old friends from school.
Do men like this ever realize that they're completely allowed to just... not get married? Like buddy you asked her to marry you. You could've simply not done that.
@@KingOfGaymes there used to be a cake topper at Walmart that was a bride dragging the groom (toward the alter, presumably) with him leaving claw marks I the faux frosting, and even as a kid I didn't understand why it was supposed to be funny. If you don't 100% want to marry me, I don't want to marry you. Plain and simple.
@@Izzy-cp8ytikr, also in the current years as we seen rn, its usually the dudes who want to get married lol so its like weird, but also y shld marriage be something painful for another person even as an unfunny joke. I feel so bad for these brides oh my god esp the one where shes bleeding and he fucking went feral.
@@espeon871 the fact that the one guy drew blood was honestly disturbing. Aside from the clear disregard for her wishes and boundaries for a second, how can you intentionally hurt the person you claim to love? I accidentally bonked an ex in the shoulder when I was tickled as I have a very well known strong reaction to being tickled, and I *still* felt bad even though we both knew it was an accident due to a known involuntary reaction. I can't imagine intentionally doing something like this that caused real damage/injury. If I were that bride, I'd be calling the whole thing off right there and walking out. If your new spouse will disrespect you that badly in front of everyone on such a big day, what will they do behind closed doors?
the fact that those cakes often have wooden or thick boba straws as support makes the fact that he THREW IT at her just that much more dangerous and awful
I saw a comment in another video about this topic where they went to a wedding and the bride got hurt because of this exact reason and spent the rest of the night in the hospital while the groom went back to PARTYING! Some people aren’t worth of marriage that’s for sure
legit cancelled my own wedding realizing my ex had the potential to be one of these buffoons. praise be i healed enough to notice this horrifying reality lmaoooo
As a cake designer and baker my soul crumbles alongside that cake 😢 so many hours, sometimes days, worth of work destroyed. Not to mention the cost to all parties, the research, communication with the bride and anxiety to make it just right. Please don’t do this!
Funky said that so many of these men don't view their spouses as life partners, and it really made me grateful to my dad. Even when they've had rocky spots in their marriage, he's never treated my mom as anything less than an equal. The man was born in the '50s, there is no excuse for modern dudes acting like this.
As someone who recently got married to the sweetest, and most respectful man, I cannot imagine what these poor women were feeling. The fact that these men felt the nerve to embarrass their NEW WIFE on THEIR WEDDING DAY is absolutely astonishing to me. I truly believe a majority of men cannot control the slightest bit of rage they have pent up from their childhood.
As someone whos worked at weddings, PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. Make it known to your staff that they can eat as well. I have starved myself not realizing i was allowed to take food
Um...no? Did they not pay you to be there to do your job? They paid to feed their guests, not the people they ALREADY PAID to work. If they want to leave leftovers to staff instead of taking them home, that's generous. But if the staff I was paying to work were eating the food I paid for while I was paying their wages while they were supposed to be serving my guests, I'd be pissed.
@@mnschoenHoly shit. Are you evil? Do you also believe that people who work food service jobs shouldn’t be allowed to eat on the job? Do you believe that employees don’t deserve breaks? I’ve never seen someone so completely devoid of human empathy
@@mnschoen They're human beings who are there earlier than the guests and wedding couple to set up, have to be there the entire time the party is going on, and have to stay afterward to clean up. Let them eat some of the food. I wouldn't even call it generous, I'd call it basic human decency.
I do feel for these women because it just shows their husbands don’t care about their boundaries and I know the humiliation only gets worse. Kudos to that one bride though that sought out an annulment (or divorce, one of them) immediately after her husband shoved cake in her face when she explicitly asked him not to.
Its like he didn't notice how much of a major red flag it is to disobey your partners wishes when they specifically ask you not to do something. If he was so willing to do that imagine what the marriage would have been like if it lasted
I can't imagine hating someone enough to wear a wedding dress to their wedding and actually going to their wedding. If you hate them that much, don't go.
@DeathnoteBB full white. A white shirt or white on a pattern is fine of course; the disrespect is when it looks like the guest is trying to dress like the bride
The worst thing about grooms destroying wedding cakes is that they take forever to make and will probably be the single most expensive single item of food you are ever going to pay for
And the cake is the beautiful center piece to a elegant party , the expensive, carefully crafted focal point to grace memories in photos forever: your perfect day…. Until Oh, NoooooOOO!!! 👨👩👦👦🧖♀️🎂 🤺👀👩👩👦👦
Not to mention the guests were probably hoping they’d get to eat some of it. Just get a cardboard cutout if you’re going to piss around and destroy it like a toddler
a lot of the time they have supports in too, like wooden or plastic rods to make it stand up straight. and in extreme cases, there will also be like acrylic sheets to support the weight of the cake.
It’s not even the „smearing cake in her face against her wishes“. It’s how brutal the grooms are. Slapping the bride really hard in the face, grabbing their neck to force her head to the cake, tackling them to the ground…
I remember reading a reddit post where she got an annulment after the cake smashing bs happened at her wedding and so many people were like "that's such a terrible reason to end a relationship" And I am reminded why standards have been allowed to stoop so low.
The people who think its a "terrible reason" don't get that it's not about the cake, it's about respect. If he can't respect even the simplest boundary like "don't smash cake in my face," he doesn't respect her, and she will spend the rest of her life being bullied.
@@jennfoley Exactly! They were all like "you need to work on the relationship instead of giving up that easily" but you can't fix someone disrespecting you like that. Either they do or they don't. And ime asking someone to respect you has the opposite effect
Marriage is about being with someone who will make you happy. No relationship is easy, but if your relationship, from friendship to dating to marriage, is 90% work, it’s not worth it. Love yourself by yourself or find someone better. If someone is only hurting you and making you work for them they’re not worth it.
This is so valid. It's super disrespectful and some of these are closer to an assault than "just a prank". All of these are a horrible beginning to a marriage and just shows he doesn't respect her at all, or care about their wedding and possibly don't listen when told "no", which are all concerning traits. 100% support everyone who want to break up after that.
The problem is that you’re using a Reddit post as a baseline for humanity. Guarantee you 99% of what is posted on Reddit is a lie, overblown, or a bunch of losers venting about their pathetic life. 😂
The whole point of the "feeding each other the cake" is to prove to each other that they can trust you. To literally force it on your new wife just because you think it will be funny is a really big red flag
@HexManiac-nf1yg In the video that we’re watching, all but one of the men in these couples are the ones taking the cake smash too far, and the one that wasn’t the groom was what looked to be a groomsman. If not violently smashing cake into their newlywed bride’s face, grooms in this video can be seen joking about how much they wish they weren’t getting married and how much they hate their wives, or just behaving in a way that you would expect a bored child to behave at their wedding rather than one of the key participants. I don’t know exactly what sort of shenanigans from the bride you’ve seen at weddings, but based on most people’s experiences and the examples from this video, the groom is the one at fault.
The disturbing amount of force used by these men! Not just doing it without her consent, but just how brutal they get! That’s immediately get a divorce energy!
i'm upset at how many of them immediately go for side-of-the-head hits. it's so insanely aggressive it's like they were waiting for the chance to hit them? they're not even trying to smear it on their face, they're trying to hit them.
Im a cellist, and I get hired to play at events such as weddings with my quartet. And there was this one wedding I played at where the groom thought it would be hilarious to dump the punch all over his wife. Guess what, it got on my cello too. And I don’t know if you know what happens to string instruments when met with liquid/humidty change. They crack….. so now I’m left with a broken cello which costed around 15k with fruit punch permanently glued to the wood.
Holy shit- sue for damages, if you haven't already. If something like that happened to my flute I would be PISSED. Hopefully you managed to get a new one or repair the old one, many condolences if you didn't, and good luck in the future. Edit: Also, did the couple get divorced? I hope so.
I was the MOH for my best friend. She and her husband were both super excited and particular about what they wanted the wedding to look and be like. The cake was something they both were excited about as they got it from a well-known baker and spent a lot of time designing and making decisions on it. The groomsmen were a**holes and decided to "prank" them by destroying the cake and covering the new couple in it. It goes without saying that both were super upset, their dream cake was destroyed and there was no dessert for the guests besides the cookies and little things one puts out. On top of that their outfits and hair were completely messed up, and though they celebrated their love, it had quickly not become the wedding they dreamed of. After the wedding I decided to double the invoice and send it to the grooms party. They at first were upset but eventually paid the $5,000. I sent it to my friends while they were on their honeymoon as a little gift. When the next groomsman got married, there was not a prank in sight. Don't mess with the wedding cake mates :)
I had to skip over the clip of the groom cornering the bride and physically assaulting her. That is a crime. That is what I lived through, minus the cake, in my last relationship. Which has taken years to heal past. This behavior in a relationship IS ab*se, and it is disgusting that society (and in this case the wedding reception) will act like there is nothing wrong with it.
@@kayhaven4710 Thank you so much for your kind words💜 I have thankfully been out of that situation and healing for many years, but unfortunately it will probably continue to affect me for many years to come. That is one of the many reasons it is so heartbreaking to see how normalized ab*se is because ab*se can fundamentally change someone's life and can be something they need to cope with for years or even the rest of their life.
@@TinyGhosty I dated an alcoholic for four years who was abusive in every possible way except for physical. I too struggle at times wondering if I deserved it or if things could have gotten better. But things do get better!!!
@@kayhaven4710 I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you are also in a better place now doing better and healing. The victim blaming narratives are so easily internalized and I know how you feel. It was never your fault, it was a choice for your ex to treat you the way that they did. They could have gotten help to avoid treating you the way they did and they chose to hurt you instead. That is their problem and burden not yours. But like I said I completely understand internalized victim blaming. It was difficult for me to even open up to other people about the ab*se because "he didn't hit me" altho it was still physical assault and is illegal. I was encouraged by my surroundings to minimize what was happening and I started to believe it was not "that bad" even though it was. It is horrifying how many people are willing to excuse or diminish many forms of ab*se and I am sorry that has affected you as well. I wish you healing and so much happiness in your future💜
@kayhaven4710 There's a book called "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft that I would highly suggest reading if you haven't already, and are still wondering if maybe you shouldn't have given up on your relationship. If you read it, I think you'll realize that there was nothing you could have done to fix him or prevent his abuse. If you were abused by a female partner, I think much of the book would still be very relatable.
My mom told my dad that if he shoved cake in her face the wedding would be called off and they would not be married. He respected that, everyone had a great time, and the biggest joke at the wedding was the best man dressing in drag and pretending to be an ex girlfriend, which my mom thought was hilarious once she realized what was happening. They're still going strong 23 years later.
I didn’t know cake-face-shoving was even a thing until recently. Has it been going on for decades?! It is so barbaric. The men who do this are Neanderthals!
I would have loved to see that, just the best man coming out in drag and yelling “HOW COULD YOU?!” That would be funny as hell and harmless if the bride and groom were okay with it.
I told my husband before we got married I would not participate in cake smashing, bouquet toss or the creepy ass garter removal and he respected my wishes. We are still married almost 7 years later. Consent is so important.
@@cheeseandquackers8342 Also referred to as a "garter toss", it's similar to the bouquet toss where instead of the eligible ladies try to catch flowers so they'll be the next to get married, the bride wears a small cloth/lace band around her leg (usually her thigh) and the groom goes under her skirt to 'fish' the garter out, then flings it towards the eligible bachelors for them to catch, and see who among the men will get married next. Never understood the appeal of it, it's just an excuse to be crass and embarrass the bride.
@@SilverGlows That sounds… a little gross. The idea of a man sticking his hands in a woman’s dress to fish out a garter sounds nasty. Also, aren’t garters the things that hold up a stocking to prevent it from falling and showing bare skin? It just sounds really uncomfortable to have someone basically kind of undressing you or taking something that’s meant to help cover up off🤨
@@cheeseandquackers8342 1000% agree. My sister did it at her wedding and I just couldn't help but feel terrible for her. I am ADAMANT that there will be no garter toss at my wedding, despite some initial (half-joking) insistence from my partner and best friend.
My wedding was at the Ohio Renaissance festival. In costume. The actual wedding was like 15 minutes. Had a reception, then like an intermission where kids and adults could run around the festival to shop play games whatever, then came back and we watched jousting. 10/10. Fun day. Only cost 7k. No garter toss, no bouquet toss, out with those horrible traditions. When I told my now husband to not shove cake in my face he literally went "why would I? I love you"
Some of these grooms are not only toxic, but abusive, as you said. It’s a simple boundary. I told my husband to gently feed me cake because I was paying a lot for my makeup and he respected that instantly and it resulted in a sweet photo, not him physically overpowering me and humiliating me like these grooms. But he let me smash cake in his beard and took it like a champ. These guys need to grow up
Did he want the cake shoved into his beard after he gently fed you cake? I was thinking how sweet of your post until I got to the end where despite you asking him not to do it to you, you did it to him. Why? What is the point of even doing it? What a weird way to start a marriage with violence and disrespect from either or both parties. You said he let you, but that doesn't seem like he asked you to do it that way. I understand you paid a lot for makeup, but didn't he spend quite a bit of time grooming his beard? If it is a thick beard he likely won't be able to get all the cake and frosting out of it until he can take a shower. It isn't just you, I find the whole shoving cake into your partners face on your wedding day no less to be questionable behavior at best. Just all the money on the outfits, grooming on both sides, and then let's act like toddlers or kids having a food fight at lunch by smashing the cake into each other's faces.
@@SH4RK-SUPR3M4CY"He let me" and "He wanted to" are two very different things. I know some people are okay with it, but seems a little imbalanced to me without explicit and enthusiastic consent.
I went to a relative's wedding a while back and the groom did the cake in face thing, resulting in the bride rushing off in tears to be consoled by her bridesmaids as the groom stood in front of everyone awkwardly. They're now divorced.
Guaranteed he goes online to tell everyone he “gave her everything” and women just plot for decades to marry good men just so they can divorce them for no reason in their late 30’s with kids.
I can’t believe I have to say this, but you are a horrible person. The bride is clearly in the wrong here, and you are awful for seeing it any other way.
@@brandonscott9747cats are polite and respectful creatures who offer entertainment and affection. Please explain, in detail, what’s wrong with the idea of finding love and companionship with animals? It’s not an either or scenario btw. You can have cats and a bf/husband at the same time. You can also be fat and do all of those things. I don’t understand what cats or fat acceptance has to do with any part of this discussion?
My mom has said for YEARS how disrespectful it is to shove cake in someone’s face. We used to watch wedding shows on tv together all the time and you’d see it and you could so often see the bride was upset but trying to keep composure, either for the sake of the guests or being filmed. You just know this stemmed from a few couples consensually and mutually agreeing to it because it was in both their humour to do something silly like that but it caught on and now every mean spirited partner sees this as the perfect “prank” to pull on the person they just publicly said they’d respect and cherish.
The whole “help me I’m trapped in marriage” thing I see a lot in weddings and marriages is so shocking to me. I know nothing about love, but if I ever have a partner I will always make sure they know how lucky I am to be with them and how special they are to me.
It is also very hypocritical given that historically it was women who were literally trapped in marriage because they couldn't have their own bank account or own property. And even today women are more likely to stay in unhappy marriage because they'd basically be homeless if they left.
@@LeoDBW Exactly this. I have an aunt who’s practically brainwashed to stay with her husband and the misogyny is unreal whenever I step in their house, her husband complains about being stuck in a marriage with her all the time at family gatherings yet threatens her is she does say anything about leaving him. Unfortunately it’s more common then not
Yeah me and my partner have agreed he will ask when the time is right (likely a few years) and it will just be an excuse to have a spooky themed party 😂
Speaking of grooms refusing to “lose” during the cake fights, it just makes me think that even DOGS will let smaller, female dogs win so that way they can keep playing. Let that sink in.
I think lions do that, too, especially if they have a crush on said lioness. I could be wrong, but I think it's funny that animals have crushes like us
I think it really suggests that this isn't a FUN thing for them, but a kind of show of dominance, which is exactly the difference between this and the examples with dogs or lions.
My dad “I wasn’t gonna ruin my wedding by ruining my beautiful wife’s face. She was stunning. Your mother was perfect and I didn’t want to ruin it for her. If your man (or anyone I want to be with now that I’m out) shoves food in your face on your wedding, DIVORCE THEM”
I just got married earlier in the month and my husband is incredible. He planned the whole wedding and took so many months of planning to make it as sentimental as possible. Our cake cutting was super gentle and affectionate. We jokingly did the “here comes the airplane” thing and held hands the whole day. I could never imagine him doing to me what these “men” do to their brides.
When my aunt and uncle got married, he wrote "help me" on the bottom of his shoe so everyone would see it when they walked away from the altar together. He thought it was a good joke, brags about it to the guys in our family sometimes. She stopped loving him right then and there. She held that resentment toward him ever since.
Man, these videos actually hurt to watch. I’ve been in an abusive relationship before and I feel like it’s a pretty bad sign how much I’m reminded of that period of my life when I see grooms behave like this. Like some of the wives seem genuinely afraid, maybe I’m reading into things but I know what it’s like to be with someone who doesn’t listen when you say no, and even in relatively minor instances like these, no one deserves that.
My mom told me the cake smashing thing was a hard no for her wedding, she never liked the trend and definitely didn’t want to do it herself. My dad agreed. Amazing how easy it is when a couple respects each other
Did your mother marry recently, or is this trend much older than I thought? It might also be a "different part of the world" -type of thing, but the only tradition while cutting the cake here that I've heard of, is the wife and husband competing which one of them is the first to stomp the ground with their foot while finishing the cut, to playfully "decide" which one is the leader in the marriage I guess 😅 Still a kind of an old fashioned thing, but at least it's not ruining a cake that cost a pretty penny before anyone got to eat it 🤷♂
Traditionally, the bride and groom are suppose to feed each other a piece of cake to symbolize nurturing each other throughout their lives. Hubby and I fed each other the cake with no drama.
I know a couple who would be all about the cake battle. I don't know if they're planning to marry (the main reason they might is for simplifying international travel), but I wouldn't be at all surprised if they did something like getting a sacrificial cake and a second reception outfit for the both of them. They're hilarious, I can imagine couples like them pulling it off.
My wife and I got married in 1997. Some people practiced caking then. We didn't do it. The cake was pretty expensive, and we were both raised in households of modest means. The idea that someone would waste food like that was inconceivable to us.
It’s even more upsetting that the entire guests at the wedding are just laughing at the cake being shoved in the bride’s face. This is a massive red flag
As much as I agree that people shouldn’t be laughing at this I have to admit I think I would be in so much shock all I would be able to do is a nervous laughter type of thing. But for the laughs that seem genuinely excited and entertained yeah that’s whack.
I guarantee a good number of those people are laughing nervously and uncomfortably, and don't want to be seeing what they are seeing. They are witnessing an assault that came out of literally nowhere. Everything is happy. Beautiful wedding, beautiful bride and groom, happy celebration, yay cake! and suddenly an assault is happening in seconds. No time to really process and react.
i imagine that they would be under the assumption that the bride was in on the joke. its hard to conceptualize that someone you assumedly know well enough to be invited to their wedding would do something that audacious
I'm really glad to see behavior like this being called out. I've always been "sensitive" and self conscious, and if my future wife humiliated me in front of our friends and family, I wouldn't feel like I could trust her.
I felt that "sensitive" in brackets in my soul. Just remember sweet pea, sensitivity is a gift in a harsh world. And let's face it, if you are to wed, it should be with someone who cherishes that sensitivity more than anything 😊
6:02 The fact his response was to throw the cake at her after she playfully smudged his face with a bit of frosting really makes you wonder what his reaction would be over some other slight inconveniences.
the fact that one of the traditional lines in a women's vows is "to love, cherish and obey", but for men it is "to love and to cherish", says everything you need to know about wedding culture and how much it needs to change before it can be deemed equal.
I don’t get the man stereotype “I hate my wife” trope. My man literally tells me he just sits around and waits for me to be home. He’s obsessed with me and I love him. Edit: this is a hyperbole- we both have our own lives we just are obsessed and love coming home to one another
This trope screams irresponsibility to me. They made this choice to marry her, they make the choice to stay everyday, they can't be mad at anyone else but themselves
Both myself and my husband are bi and had what was basically a straight passing wedding but we didn't follow a lot of traditions and the majority of my family thought it refreshing and beautiful that we were doing our own thing.
like if you literally throw your lover to the floor because of a "cake cutting and fighting tradition", what are you able of doing once you are in the intimacy of home?
Ugh, so the “cake in the face” story from my Dad’s second marriage: They were supposed to feed each other a bit of cake, but instead his bride shoved the piece of cake between her cleavage in her very low cut, tight dress. He ate the piece of cake out of her cleavage. This is not something I, his 13yr old child, wanted or needed to see, let alone the rest of his family and friends. It haunts me to this day.
About the groom freezing at the mothers screaming. There was some kind of a comment the bride made after the fact that the husband was actually having either an anxiety or a panic attack and froze up out of fear, not because he wasn't willing to stand up to her.
I feel so bad because that would genuinely be my reaction too. I don't handle conflict very well due to personal experience, and while I'd love to think I'd be able to push that aside and defend my partner, a part of me knows I'd probably freeze up and not know what to do or say. I'd try to make it up to them afterwards and would absolutely kick myself for not having the nerves to fight back... I hope everything worked out okay in the end.
My mother would be the type to scream like that and while i wouldnt freeze, i can totally understand why someone would. Its the most special day in your life and your mother just stands up to embarrass you and your significant other? Thats genuinely awful
Yeah, I can imagine that the mother might already be a frightening figure in his life. That's a difficult thing to overcome. There's a difference between being a 'mamma's boy' and being genuinely terrified. I somehow learned not to clam up when someone yells at me through sheer pent-up frustration and anger. But that took *years*, man.
I’d also like to add “Don’t get blackout drunk at the wedding.” Unfortunately I’ve been to a few weddings where the bride/groom either got drunk before the ceremony due to nerves or during the reception because they couldn’t believe they said “I do”, or a guest got hammered thanks to the open bar. No one should have to babysit a fully grown adult during a wedding.
I was a bridesmaid for my oldest sister’s wedding along with my 2nd sister and her husband’s sister. Her husband’s sister had a hangover from the night before and showed up late for hair and makeup and she continued to drink even when my sister kept telling her to stop. She was completely drunk by the time the wedding began so my sister made the choice to have her sit out. My mom had to relay the news to my sister’s husband and he got super pissed at his sister when the wedding was over. The whole time she was either drinking or sleeping in a corner. To this day, his sister has the audacity to say that my sister shouldn’t have pulled her out of the wedding since her brother was getting married but they both agreed that it was the right call and stand by that choice
Weddings are such a serious situation, I know some people would consider it overkill but I would keep the entire open bar non-alcoholic and maybe a bottle of the real stuff per table for toasting and sharing, because there is no reason you should be loosening up your inhibitions at this sort of event.
Before our wedding a year ago, I told my now husband not to smash cake in my face. He is an adult, so he didn’t. Apparently, I should also have explained the serving cake to each other tradition, because he just ate his bite unknowingly and then felt very bad about it. Looking back, it’s hilarious. I’d like to offer this up as an alternative low-stakes non-messy cake prank.
Mine did that too with the groom's cake! (He didn't know we were extending the feeding each other thing for both cakes) This led to one of my favorite pictures from the wedding where he's happily eating cake and I'm looking into the camera like it's The Office.
I mean… yeah if you want someone to do a tradition you gotta explain said tradition first 😂 I’m not even a guy and I would have eaten the cake myself too
@@DeathnoteBBI'm a guy but I would've as well. I take cake very seriously - leave my poor husband very confused as to why I immediately started eating the slice instead of feeding it to him like usual.
That one clip where the bride did the tiniest bit of icing on the grooms face and the groom absolutely destroyed her (in the worst way possible) gave me the same vibes as when you do a dot on your friends paper and they grab a marker to absolutely scribble and DESTROY yours-
I've met a lot of guys who believe that they are entitled to 'self defence' but then exaggerate the amount of force needed. Like if a woman gives them a back handed slap, they corner her into a wall and beat her to a pulp. When the fight was technically over after the one slap and you legally cannot use force unless you are cornered or being chased. It's some sort of messed up honour thing, that they are more untouchable than you and that you need to be punished for slighting them.
My step dad did something similar when i was a child I asked if I could draw a VERY small dot on his shirt ,,, he said yes, and when I did, he went apeshit and angrily scribbled on my entire shirt like a maniac That was not funny,,, I thought he actually meant his yes :/
@@foxowaranimation397 Legit. I frankly haven't a single clue what he expected me to do when he accepted. Especially since I was very happily asking him. Heck, I even asked if he was sure of it, and he said yes. Even to this day, as an adult, I question why he did that.
I don’t understand how hitting your wife in public world obviously be an outrage but simply lobbing a giant dense cake at her head is totally hilarious.
Not only just a giant, dense cake, but a giant dense cake with things like sticks and skewers sticking up through them in order to hold them up. It's as though these grooms are actively forgetting when they attack their brides with cake that said cakes are being held up by sharp objects that, if unlucky, could do extreme, serious harm to those who are not careful handling them, so therefor, uncaringly and in some instances, furiously smashing it into the faces of their women in the best case scenario will result in injuries that'll need a length hospital trip, and at worse cause extreme permanent damage
@@jeanettelori1439 around 5:10 its a little hard to hear but you can hear the person helping her after say "i dont know but you're bleeding somewhere" and you can see that the groom has a giant knife in his hand when he shoves the cake at her
@@jeanettelori1439 around 5:10 its a little hard to hear but you can hear the person helping her after say "i dont know but you're bleeding somewhere" and you can see that the groom has a giant knife in his hand when he shoves the cake at her
Before our wedding my husband joked about smashing the cake in my face. I said please don't. So he didn't. Still happily married 10 years later. It really is the little things.
The way you can combine humor with a very thought-provoking commentary is fucking amazing. I really did not expect to learn about the origins of bouquet throwing before watching this video.
as a kid who was brought to wedding and was an absolute terror, don't bring kids to wedding. At 6 my sister and I tried to swim in a chocolate fountain, at 10 I stole all the goldfish table toppers😂
How is literally knocking your wife over with the force of the cake not assault? Or if she explicitly tells you not to and you do it anyway? I could never.
it totally is. and i’d go as far to say it’s genuinely abusive behaviour. esp if they escalate in retaliation. it’s such a common tactic for abusers. “she slapped me so i gave her a black eye and bloody nose.” “she called me lazy so i called her a stupid useless bitch.” etc etc. it’s a tactic to stop victims from 1) gaining agency 2) standing up for themselves 3) showing anger in any sense (bc abusers HATE when anyone besides them shows anger or aggression). and it’s commonly considered a warning or a punishment (“if u do something ‘wrong’ u deserve to be attacked or mistreated”).
if she falls over in an expensive dress and heels she spent big $$$$/time to look good in. if she gets legit badly hurt in those heels, that worse. Along with ruining a $100-900 worth of cake- and that was suppose to feed guests cake too.
At my friend's wedding, her and her husband did the little dollop of icing on each other's noses. It was cute, easy to clean up with a napkin, and made for some adorable pictures. But, most importantly, it was consenual and discussed before hand as being ok!
One of my uncles officiated the wedding of one of my aunts. It was beautiful. He did the entire "Mawwiage" speech from Princess Bride, lisp included. Everyone loved it. The bride and groom didn't even notice, they were just so happy to be getting married.
Cake smashes on birthdays with me and my siblings is always fun. Because we aren't in our nicest clothes, with hair and makeup that spent hours. I would never do that to my sisters on their big day if they told me not to. That is insane.
I saw once a video of a girl at her 16th birthday party, she looked so happy and beautiful, (that dress hair and makeup and party didn't come off cheap) and her friends decided to smash a cake into her face. They laughed as she cried and left in distress and they kept asking why she was upset and crying. Now you see, this day was supposed to be about her, and about the woman she would become, but her "friends" decided to make it about themselves. I believe if anyone thinks this is funny they need to think it over, because that doesn't sound like a joke, it sounds like an issue.
I saw one where a brother I think smashed a young girls face into her cake before she even got to blow out the candles and it went just as horrible lay as you’d think as she apparently went blind since ya know she got a face full of still lit candles
I went to one wedding where they didn't shove cake into each other's faces, the groom got a little frosting on the bride's nose and and carefully wiped it off with a napkin then kissed her on the nose. It was so cute
Yeah, this is acceptable I do this at birthdays that way it is just a funny little tradition. This instance is adorable but what is not okay is forcing a cake onto your brides face and literally ruining your spouse’s special day
Many moons ago my dad did photography for a lot of weddings- he said that out of all the weddings he attended, every single one where the groom shoved cake in the bride’s face ended in divorce before 5 years. I sure hope that’s the trend for all other marriages too, because no one deserves to be with someone who does that
This might sound weird but my dog Lenny died yesterday August 30th 2024 and FunkyFrogbait give me so much comfort watching these videos Rn thank you for making videos you make my day a little better
I see the cake feeding as a symbolic thing; bride and groom are doing a nurturing act to show they are willing and ready to take care of each other. So when one of them shoves cake in the other's face, they are clearly showing that if their partner ever NEEDS nuturing from them, tough shit, the cake shover will prioritize their own enjoyment over the other's health.
@@debbieh7063 I'm not remotely surprised, but reading this still feels like a punch to the gut. couldnt imagine leaving my partners in such a terrifying situation.
Maybe this is from being raised to be frugal but, Ive NEVER understood why people would ruin the literal most expensive type of cake money can buy. Also videos like these make me so much more thankful I have a partner who is actually respectful 😅
in my culture wasting food or even 'playing' with food is considered extremely disrespectful and shitty behaviour, never mind the fact you mentioned that someone paid SO much money and time organising it in the first place.
yep, this seems to be a very American thing, I'm from Eastern Europe and I've never heard of this. wasting food and assaulting your partner at the same time is such a weird tradition.
Privilege people behaviour- specifically in America (im not saying that every american is rich, but America is more privileged than most countries.) Theres a reason why in any country but America, it is extremely shitty to waste food.
The wedding itself is an act of extreme waste to display strength and wealth to everyone else (this is not unique to America). The act of destroying the cake without even tasting it, provided that everyone agreed to it ahead of time, is just an extension of this waste. However, most of these incidences involve destroying the cake without the Bride's consent. This is very sinister because (at a deep level), it is the groom and his family/social group asserting dominance over the bride and her family/social group. 1. He is blatantly going against her wishes and showing everyone that she can't stop him. 2. The wedding is traditionally paid for by the Bride's family. He is directly undermining her/their display of wealth and power. 3. A lot of these incidences involve the bride being assaulted publicly because the guy's pride and dominance are more important to him than the Bride's well being.
One of the worst parts for me is that while these grooms are getting a lot of negative attention now, for a long time it was ignored while entire reality shows showed as many "bridezillas" as possible. Puts a lot of pressure on brides to be perfect imo, while there's no pressure on the groom.
One of the upsides of the internet is men's bad behaviour is easier to put on display (they put it on display themselves) so now more women are waking up to what men are really like
I’ve always hated the cake feeding “tradition” and how it ends up in cake on the face. How absolutely heartbreaking for those women who spent so much time on their makeup and hair to have it ruined!
fr! my fiancé wants to do it, but i said no. i know my makeup will take hours and i wanna feel beautiful on our day so we compromised for just doing a dollop of frosting on our noses 😅
I saw someone on tik tok throw a plushine instead of the bouquet. Everyone married and unmarried could try for it. It symbolized who was gonna get a cat next. So much better. lol Wish I had done that.
God I wish I had that, my cousin’s wedding both had the garter toss (where the groom also stripped for some reason) and gathered all the female guests to see who’s get married next despite the fact I was under 10
I find it so funny that people feel like they need to win the "cake fight". At my brother's wedding, they cut the cake, smeared a little frosting on each other's noses, and moved on. People are just crazy
I would add a couple extra rules.... A) consider not getting shit face drunk. This is for both members of the wedding party and guests. Have a drink or two if it suits you, but pace yourself and stop before you are at you think you've had too much. B) Don't ever propose to someone at someone else's wedding (this also includes pregnancy announcements etc.). It takes the focus away from the bride and groom after they and/or their families have spent a lot of money on a special day. And it may make someone you love feel obliged to accept even if they don't really want to marry you.
A part 2) don't get drunk then start a shouting match outside the venue and throw a bottle of blackberry icewine at your fiance's head because he won't dance with you. Wait-- not everybody had this experience at a wedding? Oh, just me, okay. (It was my mom and her fiance lmaoooo I was mortified. I've been to lots of weddings as a caterer, but the ONE and ONLY wedding where I was a guest and they couldn't keep their shit together!)
the whole cake issue for me is also about clear signs of aggression/violence from your *life* partner - as someone who has lived with violent/easily angered people, that's terrifying
I've seen a couple reddit videos where the question was some variation of "What are signs that the couple is getting divorced?". Around 90% of the responses were saying that the cake cutting is almost 100% correct in determining the couples future, and if the groom smashed cake into the brudes face, they are probably going to get divorced. Now I see why.
He had his arm around her neck, and then he had the nerve to look like he was wronged when she stormed away. The wife who got straight up assaulted whose groom made her bleed would've had every right to have him arrested for that but unfortunately everyone would've sided with him.
When my wife and I were talking about marriage I told her if she smashed cake in my face, I'd straight up leave. She said she'd never do that. We also didn't have a cake and had doughnuts, fried chicken and tacos. Love that woman..
@opticalraven1935 my friend had a super small wedding ceremony and then a bunch of months later a costume party celebration on Friday October 13 and it was LIT.
The tradition of feeding each other cake is supposed to symbolize how you will take care of each other during the marriage. You literally promise to take care of each other in the vows. These men who smash cakes in their brides faces are basically showing how they will NOT take care of them, and they will in fact treat them like trash.
I’m so glad I didn’t have to rely on vows to find out if my partner is willing to take care of me. I’m disabled so not only does he normally help me everyday but the very first time I was more sick than usual he made sure to wait on me so I didn’t push myself. The man has taken time off work to get me to appointments in the winter when I can’t go out on my own. It also isn’t one sided I do everything I can for him when he’s sick and he doesn’t even need to ask.
I wore a white dress to a wedding when I was 16 because I genuinely didn't know not to and no one told me otherwise. I didn't realize it until years later when I saw pictures from the wedding and I am still mortified to this day.
Apparently it's also not cool to wear the bridesmaids colours if your not one and know what colour they're going to be wearing before hand. I helped pick the wedding colours so I fudged myself over on that one until a bridesmaid jumped ship and I was made one anyways.
I didn't know it was a thing until a few years ago either. No one mentioned it ever or talked about it ever. I'm in Europe so idk maybe the customs were different. I was just Lucky I never wear white dresses anyway. But I also can't imagine caring about someone wearing white to my wedding, let alone this ruining my wedding or men coordinating not to wear the same colour suit\shirt as the groom. It would tho be weird if someone straight up wore a wedding dress to a wedding.
If you were 16 and no one told you otherwise, then I'd consider it a bit unfortunate but not your fault. Maybe the fault of whoever bought the dress for you or told you it was fine for a wedding (assuming mom or other older female family member who would know better), but still just an unfortunate faux pas rather than something mortifying. And hey, it could have been worse! My aunt intentionally dressed herself and her 15-16 y/o daughter in white to attend my mom's wedding lol.
I saw a Reddit post recently where a bride immediately left the wedding after the groom embarrassed her in front of everyone to “get approval from her family” when he has been abusive to her for years. She’s getting an annulment because supposedly he has been cheating on her. She’s also dropping contact with her family who has also been abusive to her her whole life. The groom didn’t even try to win her back. He just said okay and let her go.
Tbh though, good for her. I don't think it's a bad thing when abusive partners don't try to "win back" their partners. It's hard enough to leave a toxic relationship as is, you don't need the abuser to sweet talk you into staying.
@@Dragon81205It's so depressing that guy valued his abusive mother in law over his own wife. It's so depressing that guy knew full well for YEARS how his wife-to-be felt both about cheating and about cake smashing, and he did both to her anyway. It's so depressing that he knew what would happen if he smashed cake in her face, but he did it anyway. It's so depressing that he got more mad at being "humiliated" by her leaving him in response to his actions than being embarrassed at the fact that he behaved like a child throwing a tantrum on camera. A lot of things about that story are depressing: the woman leaving with her dignity, her pride, and her self esteem intact, ring free, is the happy ending part of the story.😊❤🎉
I would like to mention, since you were talking about the whole cake throwing thing, that it's also a mentality among some that the woman in a relationship is always supposed to lose to the man in the relationship. My mother told me I have to let a guy win if I want to date or marry them. If I do win they'll see themselves as weak/less of a man in the relationship. My mother threw a fit that I said I wouldn't want to be with a guy that can't handle being beat in a game or competition of some kind by someone just because they're a girl, especially when that someone is someone they're dating/marrying. Sorry mom but I'm not going to let a guy have his way and walk all over me because he has an ego/insecurity problem; that's not how life is that's just settling for stupidity.
My spouse and I are competitive in a friendly way. We play board games, videos games, paintball etc and we just sass each other when we win or lose. No feelings are hurt, we've got different skills and strengths. But I will not loose on purpose because of my pride 😂 and we usually say "good game! Good job love!"
My family thinks the opposite since a man shouldn’t ever need to feel stronger over a woman, the idea that wanting to feel “emasculated” by overpowering the woman is seen as toxic from what they believe, while we have our differing beliefs, it’s one of the things I’m grateful for them having instead of those backward ones your mother has, I’m sorry about that
@@one-onessadhalf3393 haha exactly XD we do game nights with friends and family and we love hyping each other up! And teasing each other about cheating
I was on a second date with a new guy. We were talking and he told me that he used to be a runner but had given it up. I asked why. And then this seemingly sweet man said "Some female with a baby carriage" beat his time in a race. Some female..... It was our last date.
Before we got married I said to my husband that I didn’t want to do the cake thing, and his response was “oh I was never going to do that, Ive always thought it’s super demeaning to the bride.” I wish I could marry him again
there was actually an instance where the bride ended up divorcing (or getting the marriage annulled don’t remember) because her husband destroyed their wedding cake. She said something along the lines of that he knew how much the wedding meant a to her and she was completely blindsided by what he did
This video hits close to home as a divorced man. I can relate to the spectacle of weddings, how it felt more like a production than a celebration of love. The cake-in-the-face tradition was funny at the time, but looking back, it signaled a lack of mutual respect. And you're spot-on about the inequalities and pressures on the bride; I wish I'd been more aware. The competitiveness in wedding traditions also seems like a red flag now. We rushed into things, maybe because of societal pressures or subtle ultimatums. I've since questioned the patriarchal framework of marriage and why we still stick to some of these outdated traditions. Your 'Rules for a Wedding That Doesn't Suck' are on point-especially the one about actually liking the person you're marrying.
No shade but it doesn’t sound like you “learned” anything. You saw this and still blamed everyone else but yourself for your own selfish decisions which included harmful ACTIONS. If you were getting married and thought it was a competition with her that’s a you problem because traditions didn’t make you hate your bride or compete against an entire woman
@@eleventhecccreator You're right, and I appreciate the reality check. Sometimes it's easier to blame societal norms or external pressures than to look inward and take personal responsibility. The choices I made contributed to the failure of my marriage. The video was enlightening, but ultimately, the onus is on me to improve and make better decisions moving forward. Thank you for calling me out; accountability is the first step toward growth.
@@fredskull1618 I'm sorry for the failure of the marriage, but it sounds like you've learned and matured as a person. As someone who's always been single I can't really preach about marriage, but life is full of past actions that we regret. Not just you, but the rest of us too. The only thing we can do is be better persons moving forward.
@@rebeccahicks2392 Thank you for your understanding and thoughtful words. I’m learning to accept that life is a journey, filled with both triumphs and regrets. Your perspective, even as someone who's always been single, is valuable and appreciated.
Bakery’s have started putting warnings on the box and cake because of this shit and when people shove another person’s face into the cake? people are getting seriously hurt due to wood dowels, straws, decorations… even a cardboard cake board can hurt you!!
“Didn’t Kurtis Conner already talk about this” yah his vid wasn’t demonetized for a week before finally being manually reviewed by TH-cam so he could post it :)
Im so glad they finally let you post this! I personally havent heard about this topic so im super excited to watch the rest of this video :)
Yours also has more social commentary! They are different vids people need to calm down
very happy that you were able to upload
:3
Yum 💎
All these channels have the same subjects for videos, they're still very different videos tho! Love all of them :D
Respect to the woman who warned her partner that if he did that shit at their wedding she would divorce him. He did and she did.
Couldn’t she just have refused to consummate the marriage and get an annulment?
@@anacarlos According to the news story in the Independent, she said "I got married just before Christmas and am hoping to be divorced or annulled by the end of January." so it could be either one. I just said divorced because the news story said divorced.
@@anacarlos Not sure what century you're living in, but the marriage is finalized by paperwork, not by genital contact.
@@mnschoen In modern times you can still have a marriage annulment if the marriage was never consummated.
@@mnschoen And annulment cancels the paperwork as if it never happened. Otherwise you just.. wouldn't be married.
Many places still have a consummation clause, and its really left there so that if there IS a dispute after signing the papers that results in the couple not sleeping together you can point to it and go "They did XYZ, made me so distraught we didn't even have sex on the honeymoon" and boom. No longer married.
Still has to be processed as an annulment though.
There was some couples therapist that said nonconsensual cake-smashing is the BIGGEST indicator of a future failed marriage, from their experience.
As it turns out, deliberately making your wife cry in public on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of your lives is kind of a red flag.
Who would've thought!
Never would've expected that 🤔
Bruh. I would cry if my husband would did that but he would later. I mean I wouldn’t marry him. But it doesn’t look nice
some wedding photographer with a big experience named several signs on the wedding day which shows that pair will end up divorsing, cake thing was Number 1, If I remember correctly.
That’s incredibly interesting, I think the frosting nose boop is really cute, but the whole cake smashing thing is not for me
Nothing like publicly breaking your wife's consent a whole 45 minutes into your marriage
Because starting an early divorce is fun!
Not only that, but doing it in front of her family and friends...right after you said a bunch of vows that would suggest you would love, honor and cherish her...😬
😭
@@NerobyrneThe bar is in hell. If you have a job and take "no" for an answer then you're already doing better than many.
@@alphamail8974the bar is in hell, and yet they still find a way to trip on it
Just like… watching men violently fight to violate their wife’s one simple request of ‘no god please stop’ is insanely triggering for very obvious reasons
Yeah no 100% not okay and definitely a red flag
That was definitely assault, and assault is reasonably triggering to watch
what makes me sad too is that the brides who are kind of pissed will absolutely never hear the end of how they're "uptight".
You can unintentionally violate someone's boundaries but you can't unintentionally LAUGH at someone's boundaries. Never trust someone who does this.
you are absolutely correct. first they pick a fight with their new wife and then claim it's her fault for being upset. ugh.
Why do so many men always have to bring violence and humiliation into everything.
But yet, if she did something like that to him, he'd throw a massive tantrum and no one would question him.
"Stupid bitches should be grateful to be getting married in the first place! It's their fault for ruining their husbands' lives by... wanting to commit to them?"
...dear God, I can hear my braincells committing harakiri right now. The fucked up part is how common this mindset is.
Let’s remember tall cakes have to have dowels in them for support. So throwing entire cakes at people could take an eye out or worse. No wonder that bride bled when the cake was smashed into her head.
Exactly. He literally could have killed her by doing that. It’s so dangerous to do
she bled because her husband was still HOLDING THE CAKE CUTTER while smashing cake into her face which is EVEN WORSE IMO. like not everyone knows cakes have dowels in them BUT EVERYONE KNOWS NOT TO SHOVE AT SOMEONE WITH A SHARP CUTTY THING IN HAND????
@@BonnieBuggieyikes- ew
Just wanna say, love the pfp
oh my god your avatar had me cackling.
I attended my cousin’s wedding this year and watched the groom like a HAWK for cake shenanigans. There were none. Because he values, respects, and deeply likes her as a person.
Me too when I went to my older cousin's wedding in august.
I am surprised that this is so often happening. It didn’t even cross my mind during my wedding year ago.
When my childhood best friend got married, I'm glad I didn't even consider the possibility. Her now husband has always been so gentle and in love with her that he probably would rather have died than ruin the happiest day of his life. (Seriously, there were so many happy tears on both sides and they held hands the entire day basically)
Last wedding I went to I don't even think the bride and groom cut the cake, there was cake, but I didn't see either of them go near it.
@@thehillisalive Awww, cute!
Went to my cousins wedding. The groom was told repeatedly by multiple people to not shove her face in the cake, she was actually down w a light hearted cake fight and at first they were just lightly smearing frosting on each others faces. Her husband finally decided to literally grab her hair and shove my cousins head as hard into her cake as possible. The reason multiple people told him no? It was a tiered cake. After an emergency room visit we were told one of the wooden dowel in the cake had missed her eye by centimeters.
How quick was the divorce? 🤦♀️
How long was he in jail??
How quick is he getting beat up?
Hope the bastard went to jail
That’s definitely assault cuz wtf
Literally just texted my husband (he’s hanging out on the other side of the house) “Thank you for not smashing cake into my face on our wedding day.” Man says “The thought never occurred to me. You looked so happy next to me. Is that something people do?” And just. Bless this man.
He's a real keeper. The world needs more people like him ❤️
Ugh where you find this man? I want one😒
Keep him, sis!!! It's hell out here!!!
Wow the bare minimum congrats
@@octobergirl5525one that does the bare minimum?? I swear y’all set the bar in hell
As a counselor, grooms not respecting their bride's wishes/boundaries when it comes to cake smash, it is 100% a red flag!
What about when brides do it? Is that just #SmashingThePatriarchy
@@inframatic Nope; a violation of boundaries is a major red flag, regardless of gender.
Thank you!!!!
@@inframatic 🤡
@@inframatic except its grooms who pick up they wives and throw them in the cake not other way around
The way the women back into corners or put their hands up as their new husband towers over them and uses full force is a look into EXACTLY what happens when they have an argument at home.
Sadly yes :(
100%.
this is how emotionally stunted children act, they HAVE to win and overpower their baby sibling because they dared to insult them
Yeah some of these videos are TERRIFYING. The guys backing their wives into a corner and shoving her to the floor, or physically grappling with her, ignoring the word ‘no’, making her bleed- it’s straight up abuse!! You’re scaring and hurting your partner, there’s no other way to call that.
@@LilyLewis771glad we’re finally calling it what it is!
To be fair to the guy who froze up when his mom started berating the bride, that might be more of an indicator of abuse than of over-attachment to his mom. Freezing is a very common fear response.
yeah as a victim of abuse if my abuser was berating my partner I'd just fully freeze up. my brain physically wouldn't let me do anything in that situation
Or just shock. Like you don't know what to do, or worry intervening will escalate things.
When I get really anxious, I tend to freeze. It's hard to really know what's going on in someone's head in situations like that.
But judging from the way the bride immediately spoke up, I do get the vibe the mom's Iikely either been emotionally abusive and the wife recognizes this or that she's been causing problems throughout the process. Like something about the wife's demeanor feels like she's sticking up for him and she knew this might happen.
As a child of abuse myself, I've definitely been the person who froze when confronted by my abuser.
If the parents who abused you are still in your life to the point you would bring them to your wedding, you have no business getting married. You’re not ready to be responsible for a family if you’re going to let an abuser have access to them.
I think this comment has a point. Also, he was quiet when he spoke up, but he DID speak up. If the gender roles were reversed (quiet wife and berating dad), she would’ve been seen has the victim.
My husband used to do this. It's been a very complicated type of abuse with his mother his whole life, but thankfully he got over that soon. If my husband couldn't stick up for me, especially on our WEDDING DAY, I wouldn't go through with it. Now she knows if she even thinks of speaking to me like she has everyone else in her life, she risks losing him for good.
I feel for these people with abusive parents, but don't bring a spouse into it until it gete better. Please.
Men act like they’re not typically the ones proposing. Like do not ask me to marry you and then attack me at our wedding or pretend you’re being held hostage . I will go to jail.
imagine being like I can’t wait to humiliate my wife and ruin my own wedding
@@tracksuitrob5348 unfortunately, some people just see marriage is getting a little personal toy to play with instead of a person to love and respect
Have you seen the "shut up ring" videos? That opened my eyes as to why this horrible things happen in weddings
@bUrRiEdaLiVe6 🤨 no I haven't
What happened 👀
@@bUrRiEdaLiVe6spill the horrors
“A world of hetero horror” really sums it up for me, just because you’re shoving cake at someone doesn’t mean you’re not shoving them, it’s still assault
Like I understand some frosting on the nose, but shoving an entire piece of cake
yeah, it was a nightmare from start to finish.
Lmao I mean I wouldn't mind having my face shoved in cake
Hell imma RKO the best man into it
Buuut if he or she doesn't want it then please don't
I shoulda said that before the edit I apologize
the worst part of those videos of the grooms basically attacking the brides with cake is that everyone is laughing. can you imagine being assaulted by your partner and your entire family laughs at you?
And the bride will assume this is normal since no one was concerned
Yeah the normalisation of it is so fuckin disgusting.... I would jump at the groom if I saw that happening in front of me
I absolutely get your point and I’m sure you’re right about the brides feelings! But I must say it’s quite a natural reaction to try and ease the tension or react to a suprising situation by laughing and it’s kind of contagious in a social situation. One stupid person laughs cos they actually think it’s funny, rest don’t know how to react so the safest thing to do is to copy the loudest person. In some situations people may think it was a planned thing that the bride is on board with, like ”this is so crazy it must have been cleared beforehand, it’s must be just a show” until the bride seems clearly upset. It also seems often the reaction goes from ”HAHAHAA!!! WOO! 🤣🤣” to turning into ”Whooaaahh! Ehhh! 😅😅” as the situation escalates.
If I saw that nah if that was cake on the floor since it's already wasted I would fr be chucking it at his face and booing
For real, ask Chris Rock. Imagine being assaulted by someone and they give that same person an award and a standing ovation. Boys will be boys Am eye right?
A lot of wedding cakes have dowels in them, you could literally blind someone by shoving a whole cake into their face
I always think about that when I see the videos too. I'm sure someone has gotten hurt before that way...
Many people have been hurt by wooden dowels in cakes. Whether wedding cake or birthday cake.
My friend and his bride WANTED a cake smash, so they asked me to make a cake SPECIFICALLY for that, as a little fun thing. They talked about it, they agreed on it, and BOTH consented to it. It was cute, there was an outfit change for both parties and both got covered in soft yellow cake and whipped cream. That is how it SHOULD be!!!
That’s the only time when it’s acceptable, I’m also glad they told you to make the cake for smashing because sometimes cakes can have rods and other hard things to keep them in place.
@rosesandmilk Yeah, they said they just want it to be as gentle as possible so it wouldn't hurt either of them. I didn't think about rods but more the edible sugar crystals, glitters, and small candies that were on their non-smashable wedding cake.
Consent is key
How was the wedding?
@JoshuaAndres Fantastic!!! The reception lasted longer than the ceremony, but I think that was by design? I got to help my friend marry his dream girl and met some old friends from school.
Do men like this ever realize that they're completely allowed to just... not get married? Like buddy you asked her to marry you. You could've simply not done that.
They will be like “Ugh my life is over, the ol’ ball and chain right?” when tHEY ASKED THE WOMAN TO MARRY THEM
@@KingOfGaymes there used to be a cake topper at Walmart that was a bride dragging the groom (toward the alter, presumably) with him leaving claw marks I the faux frosting, and even as a kid I didn't understand why it was supposed to be funny. If you don't 100% want to marry me, I don't want to marry you. Plain and simple.
@@Izzy-cp8ytikr, also in the current years as we seen rn, its usually the dudes who want to get married lol so its like weird, but also y shld marriage be something painful for another person even as an unfunny joke. I feel so bad for these brides oh my god esp the one where shes bleeding and he fucking went feral.
But...but they want a servant.
@@espeon871 the fact that the one guy drew blood was honestly disturbing. Aside from the clear disregard for her wishes and boundaries for a second, how can you intentionally hurt the person you claim to love? I accidentally bonked an ex in the shoulder when I was tickled as I have a very well known strong reaction to being tickled, and I *still* felt bad even though we both knew it was an accident due to a known involuntary reaction. I can't imagine intentionally doing something like this that caused real damage/injury. If I were that bride, I'd be calling the whole thing off right there and walking out. If your new spouse will disrespect you that badly in front of everyone on such a big day, what will they do behind closed doors?
the fact that those cakes often have wooden or thick boba straws as support makes the fact that he THREW IT at her just that much more dangerous and awful
People are trash and don't think at all do they?
As a boba enjoyer......ouch
I saw a comment in another video about this topic where they went to a wedding and the bride got hurt because of this exact reason and spent the rest of the night in the hospital while the groom went back to PARTYING! Some people aren’t worth of marriage that’s for sure
@@Moonkin444Yikes..
@@Moonkin444Please tell us that other video if you remember it because I have to read that story 😮
legit cancelled my own wedding realizing my ex had the potential to be one of these buffoons. praise be i healed enough to notice this horrifying reality lmaoooo
Good for you ❤❤❤
Slay 🧡 I hope you're safe and happy!
Every time I see a video of a wedding cake getting ruined, a little slice of my heart dies.
the prettier it is the worse i feel. ugh, i dont get why people would want to ruin such good-looking and probably good-tasting food.
As a cake designer and baker my soul crumbles alongside that cake 😢 so many hours, sometimes days, worth of work destroyed. Not to mention the cost to all parties, the research, communication with the bride and anxiety to make it just right. Please don’t do this!
Same. Especially cuz *I* coulda eaten it 🙄
Fr!!
@@L00z3rB01same... 😂
Funky said that so many of these men don't view their spouses as life partners, and it really made me grateful to my dad. Even when they've had rocky spots in their marriage, he's never treated my mom as anything less than an equal. The man was born in the '50s, there is no excuse for modern dudes acting like this.
That is truly the bare minimum, you shouldn’t be grateful for that
@@pgaktit is. but that doesnt mean they cant still be grateful, considering a lot of kids get stuck with parents who hate each other.
Meanwhile my dad immediately left as soon as I was born lmao (no marriage)
@@pgaktshe’s grateful by the fact that her dad isn’t an asshole compared to other people, as much as it is the bare minimum.
@@pgaktwhile it’s unfortunate that they have to feel grateful, they’re still happy their dad isn’t a piece of shit. That makes them grateful for it
As someone who recently got married to the sweetest, and most respectful man, I cannot imagine what these poor women were feeling. The fact that these men felt the nerve to embarrass their NEW WIFE on THEIR WEDDING DAY is absolutely astonishing to me. I truly believe a majority of men cannot control the slightest bit of rage they have pent up from their childhood.
As a man who releases anger into the void of video games, I can confirm.
@@johnnycripplestar5167you deal with that with therapist, otherwise you are putting others in risk.
ok kanaya maryam
Aaw, hope things go well for you and your hisband! And I agree, that has to be the WORST for the bride
not just embarrass but some of them straight up assaulted their wives
As someone whos worked at weddings, PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. Make it known to your staff that they can eat as well. I have starved myself not realizing i was allowed to take food
Um...no? Did they not pay you to be there to do your job? They paid to feed their guests, not the people they ALREADY PAID to work. If they want to leave leftovers to staff instead of taking them home, that's generous. But if the staff I was paying to work were eating the food I paid for while I was paying their wages while they were supposed to be serving my guests, I'd be pissed.
@@mnschoenWhich is why actually generous people a) let them eat, and b) let them know they can eat.
@@mnschoenentitled Karen spotted!
@@mnschoenHoly shit. Are you evil? Do you also believe that people who work food service jobs shouldn’t be allowed to eat on the job? Do you believe that employees don’t deserve breaks? I’ve never seen someone so completely devoid of human empathy
@@mnschoen They're human beings who are there earlier than the guests and wedding couple to set up, have to be there the entire time the party is going on, and have to stay afterward to clean up. Let them eat some of the food. I wouldn't even call it generous, I'd call it basic human decency.
I do feel for these women because it just shows their husbands don’t care about their boundaries and I know the humiliation only gets worse. Kudos to that one bride though that sought out an annulment (or divorce, one of them) immediately after her husband shoved cake in her face when she explicitly asked him not to.
Which one?
@@R0291-l1lcommenting to be notified when your question's answered lol
@@R0291-l1l
It was the brief news article shown in the video.
Its like he didn't notice how much of a major red flag it is to disobey your partners wishes when they specifically ask you not to do something. If he was so willing to do that imagine what the marriage would have been like if it lasted
@@sarahbarabe4990ikr!
I can't imagine hating someone enough to wear a wedding dress to their wedding and actually going to their wedding. If you hate them that much, don't go.
It's a different kind of hate. It's pettiness. They wanna make the person they despise angry or miserable. It's yucky!
Fun fact but if someone wears white to a wedding not only can the bridesmaid ruin the dress they can tackle them 😍
@@Kennings_labWhite at all??
@DeathnoteBB full white. A white shirt or white on a pattern is fine of course; the disrespect is when it looks like the guest is trying to dress like the bride
@@Kennings_labthat’s assault js kick the person out
The worst thing about grooms destroying wedding cakes is that they take forever to make and will probably be the single most expensive single item of food you are ever going to pay for
And the cake is the beautiful center piece to a elegant party , the expensive, carefully crafted focal point to grace memories in photos forever: your perfect day…. Until
Oh, NoooooOOO!!!
👨👩👦👦🧖♀️🎂 🤺👀👩👩👦👦
Not to mention the guests were probably hoping they’d get to eat some of it.
Just get a cardboard cutout if you’re going to piss around and destroy it like a toddler
a lot of the time they have supports in too, like wooden or plastic rods to make it stand up straight. and in extreme cases, there will also be like acrylic sheets to support the weight of the cake.
Oh and did I mention that dowels are often placed into said cakes to provide structural support?
I’d be pissed if my cake was ruined. These guys are not representative of most men
It’s not even the „smearing cake in her face against her wishes“. It’s how brutal the grooms are. Slapping the bride really hard in the face, grabbing their neck to force her head to the cake, tackling them to the ground…
I remember reading a reddit post where she got an annulment after the cake smashing bs happened at her wedding and so many people were like "that's such a terrible reason to end a relationship"
And I am reminded why standards have been allowed to stoop so low.
The people who think its a "terrible reason" don't get that it's not about the cake, it's about respect. If he can't respect even the simplest boundary like "don't smash cake in my face," he doesn't respect her, and she will spend the rest of her life being bullied.
@@jennfoley Exactly! They were all like "you need to work on the relationship instead of giving up that easily" but you can't fix someone disrespecting you like that. Either they do or they don't. And ime asking someone to respect you has the opposite effect
Marriage is about being with someone who will make you happy. No relationship is easy, but if your relationship, from friendship to dating to marriage, is 90% work, it’s not worth it. Love yourself by yourself or find someone better. If someone is only hurting you and making you work for them they’re not worth it.
This is so valid. It's super disrespectful and some of these are closer to an assault than "just a prank". All of these are a horrible beginning to a marriage and just shows he doesn't respect her at all, or care about their wedding and possibly don't listen when told "no", which are all concerning traits. 100% support everyone who want to break up after that.
The problem is that you’re using a Reddit post as a baseline for humanity. Guarantee you 99% of what is posted on Reddit is a lie, overblown, or a bunch of losers venting about their pathetic life. 😂
The whole point of the "feeding each other the cake" is to prove to each other that they can trust you.
To literally force it on your new wife just because you think it will be funny is a really big red flag
Why does everyone just say wife when talking about it like the husbands are never on the receiving end?
@HexManiac-nf1yg In the video that we’re watching, all but one of the men in these couples are the ones taking the cake smash too far, and the one that wasn’t the groom was what looked to be a groomsman. If not violently smashing cake into their newlywed bride’s face, grooms in this video can be seen joking about how much they wish they weren’t getting married and how much they hate their wives, or just behaving in a way that you would expect a bored child to behave at their wedding rather than one of the key participants. I don’t know exactly what sort of shenanigans from the bride you’ve seen at weddings, but based on most people’s experiences and the examples from this video, the groom is the one at fault.
Wait... really?
@@HexManiac-nf1ygthis video is literally about brides
@@HexManiac-nf1ygare you blind or stupid???
The disturbing amount of force used by these men! Not just doing it without her consent, but just how brutal they get! That’s immediately get a divorce energy!
i'm upset at how many of them immediately go for side-of-the-head hits. it's so insanely aggressive it's like they were waiting for the chance to hit them? they're not even trying to smear it on their face, they're trying to hit them.
My person and I discussed what we did and did not want to do during our wedding proceedings and we stuck to it.
Ps: I really like your blouse.
Im a cellist, and I get hired to play at events such as weddings with my quartet. And there was this one wedding I played at where the groom thought it would be hilarious to dump the punch all over his wife. Guess what, it got on my cello too. And I don’t know if you know what happens to string instruments when met with liquid/humidty change. They crack….. so now I’m left with a broken cello which costed around 15k with fruit punch permanently glued to the wood.
Holy shit- sue for damages, if you haven't already. If something like that happened to my flute I would be PISSED. Hopefully you managed to get a new one or repair the old one, many condolences if you didn't, and good luck in the future. Edit: Also, did the couple get divorced? I hope so.
Please tell me you sent that asshat a bill for $15,000
I was the MOH for my best friend. She and her husband were both super excited and particular about what they wanted the wedding to look and be like. The cake was something they both were excited about as they got it from a well-known baker and spent a lot of time designing and making decisions on it. The groomsmen were a**holes and decided to "prank" them by destroying the cake and covering the new couple in it. It goes without saying that both were super upset, their dream cake was destroyed and there was no dessert for the guests besides the cookies and little things one puts out. On top of that their outfits and hair were completely messed up, and though they celebrated their love, it had quickly not become the wedding they dreamed of. After the wedding I decided to double the invoice and send it to the grooms party. They at first were upset but eventually paid the $5,000. I sent it to my friends while they were on their honeymoon as a little gift. When the next groomsman got married, there was not a prank in sight.
Don't mess with the wedding cake mates :)
Great way to handle that!! That poor couple :(
Jaysus now that is scumbaggery at its finest
Now that's a MOH 👏👏👏
The way I wouldive picked a taser up from my pocket slowly seeing the groomsman doing that "prank"
You put the Honor in Maid of Honor🫡
I had to skip over the clip of the groom cornering the bride and physically assaulting her. That is a crime. That is what I lived through, minus the cake, in my last relationship. Which has taken years to heal past. This behavior in a relationship IS ab*se, and it is disgusting that society (and in this case the wedding reception) will act like there is nothing wrong with it.
I am so sorry you had to experience that. I truly hope that you’re doing much better now. ❤
@@kayhaven4710 Thank you so much for your kind words💜 I have thankfully been out of that situation and healing for many years, but unfortunately it will probably continue to affect me for many years to come. That is one of the many reasons it is so heartbreaking to see how normalized ab*se is because ab*se can fundamentally change someone's life and can be something they need to cope with for years or even the rest of their life.
@@TinyGhosty I dated an alcoholic for four years who was abusive in every possible way except for physical. I too struggle at times wondering if I deserved it or if things could have gotten better. But things do get better!!!
@@kayhaven4710 I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you are also in a better place now doing better and healing. The victim blaming narratives are so easily internalized and I know how you feel. It was never your fault, it was a choice for your ex to treat you the way that they did. They could have gotten help to avoid treating you the way they did and they chose to hurt you instead. That is their problem and burden not yours. But like I said I completely understand internalized victim blaming. It was difficult for me to even open up to other people about the ab*se because "he didn't hit me" altho it was still physical assault and is illegal. I was encouraged by my surroundings to minimize what was happening and I started to believe it was not "that bad" even though it was. It is horrifying how many people are willing to excuse or diminish many forms of ab*se and I am sorry that has affected you as well. I wish you healing and so much happiness in your future💜
@kayhaven4710 There's a book called "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft that I would highly suggest reading if you haven't already, and are still wondering if maybe you shouldn't have given up on your relationship. If you read it, I think you'll realize that there was nothing you could have done to fix him or prevent his abuse.
If you were abused by a female partner, I think much of the book would still be very relatable.
My mom told my dad that if he shoved cake in her face the wedding would be called off and they would not be married. He respected that, everyone had a great time, and the biggest joke at the wedding was the best man dressing in drag and pretending to be an ex girlfriend, which my mom thought was hilarious once she realized what was happening. They're still going strong 23 years later.
That’s adorable! But the real question is- did the best man rock the drag
Btw I love your profile pic. It’s nice seeing a fellow Fander.
I didn’t know cake-face-shoving was even a thing until recently. Has it been going on for decades?! It is so barbaric. The men who do this are Neanderthals!
I would have loved to see that, just the best man coming out in drag and yelling “HOW COULD YOU?!” That would be funny as hell and harmless if the bride and groom were okay with it.
Very obvious these men weren’t taught to be gentle when they were younger… just praised when they showed ‘power’
I told my husband before we got married I would not participate in cake smashing, bouquet toss or the creepy ass garter removal and he respected my wishes. We are still married almost 7 years later. Consent is so important.
THE GARTER THING IS SO CREEPY. IT'S SO COMMON WHERE I LIVE.
I’ve never heard of a garter removal at a wedding, what is a garter removal? (Sorry if I sound stupid 😅)
@@cheeseandquackers8342 Also referred to as a "garter toss", it's similar to the bouquet toss where instead of the eligible ladies try to catch flowers so they'll be the next to get married, the bride wears a small cloth/lace band around her leg (usually her thigh) and the groom goes under her skirt to 'fish' the garter out, then flings it towards the eligible bachelors for them to catch, and see who among the men will get married next.
Never understood the appeal of it, it's just an excuse to be crass and embarrass the bride.
@@SilverGlows That sounds… a little gross. The idea of a man sticking his hands in a woman’s dress to fish out a garter sounds nasty. Also, aren’t garters the things that hold up a stocking to prevent it from falling and showing bare skin? It just sounds really uncomfortable to have someone basically kind of undressing you or taking something that’s meant to help cover up off🤨
@@cheeseandquackers8342 1000% agree. My sister did it at her wedding and I just couldn't help but feel terrible for her. I am ADAMANT that there will be no garter toss at my wedding, despite some initial (half-joking) insistence from my partner and best friend.
My wedding was at the Ohio Renaissance festival. In costume. The actual wedding was like 15 minutes. Had a reception, then like an intermission where kids and adults could run around the festival to shop play games whatever, then came back and we watched jousting. 10/10. Fun day. Only cost 7k. No garter toss, no bouquet toss, out with those horrible traditions. When I told my now husband to not shove cake in my face he literally went "why would I? I love you"
Best wedding ever ❤
yes, our cake was $1200 in 2010. There was NO WAY my hubby would disrespect me AND waste expensive cake ;)
Just more evidence that ren fairs are where the cool people hang out.
Only in ohio!?
He’s a keeper- 🤧
Some of these grooms are not only toxic, but abusive, as you said. It’s a simple boundary. I told my husband to gently feed me cake because I was paying a lot for my makeup and he respected that instantly and it resulted in a sweet photo, not him physically overpowering me and humiliating me like these grooms. But he let me smash cake in his beard and took it like a champ. These guys need to grow up
Did he want the cake shoved into his beard after he gently fed you cake? I was thinking how sweet of your post until I got to the end where despite you asking him not to do it to you, you did it to him.
Why? What is the point of even doing it? What a weird way to start a marriage with violence and disrespect from either or both parties. You said he let you, but that doesn't seem like he asked you to do it that way.
I understand you paid a lot for makeup, but didn't he spend quite a bit of time grooming his beard? If it is a thick beard he likely won't be able to get all the cake and frosting out of it until he can take a shower.
It isn't just you, I find the whole shoving cake into your partners face on your wedding day no less to be questionable behavior at best. Just all the money on the outfits, grooming on both sides, and then let's act like toddlers or kids having a food fight at lunch by smashing the cake into each other's faces.
That's a sweet story only if you checked that he was okay with having cake smeared in his beard.....
@@cosmicmuffin322I mean op probably did since consent and all that.
@@marikka9347well she said he let her so he was probably ok with it
@@SH4RK-SUPR3M4CY"He let me" and "He wanted to" are two very different things. I know some people are okay with it, but seems a little imbalanced to me without explicit and enthusiastic consent.
i actually did forget to take the chicken out of the freezer tysm 😭 (1:13)
Me too!😂
I went to a relative's wedding a while back and the groom did the cake in face thing, resulting in the bride rushing off in tears to be consoled by her bridesmaids as the groom stood in front of everyone awkwardly. They're now divorced.
Guaranteed he goes online to tell everyone he “gave her everything” and women just plot for decades to marry good men just so they can divorce them for no reason in their late 30’s with kids.
I can’t believe I have to say this, but you are a horrible person. The bride is clearly in the wrong here, and you are awful for seeing it any other way.
@@mollygrace3068😂😂 enjoy your cats lady. The fat acceptance movement claims another one 🤣🤣🤣
@@brandonscott9747cats are polite and respectful creatures who offer entertainment and affection. Please explain, in detail, what’s wrong with the idea of finding love and companionship with animals? It’s not an either or scenario btw. You can have cats and a bf/husband at the same time. You can also be fat and do all of those things. I don’t understand what cats or fat acceptance has to do with any part of this discussion?
@@brandonscott9747damn you must hate cats
My mom has said for YEARS how disrespectful it is to shove cake in someone’s face. We used to watch wedding shows on tv together all the time and you’d see it and you could so often see the bride was upset but trying to keep composure, either for the sake of the guests or being filmed. You just know this stemmed from a few couples consensually and mutually agreeing to it because it was in both their humour to do something silly like that but it caught on and now every mean spirited partner sees this as the perfect “prank” to pull on the person they just publicly said they’d respect and cherish.
Yesss. Planned, agreed upon, silly flirty reasonably balanced food fight? Adorable. Hilarious. Surprise (or worse, specifically requested not to happen) attack carried out despite protest and resistance? Horrible. Humiliating. Just a whole disaster.
Yep.
The whole “help me I’m trapped in marriage” thing I see a lot in weddings and marriages is so shocking to me. I know nothing about love, but if I ever have a partner I will always make sure they know how lucky I am to be with them and how special they are to me.
It is also very hypocritical given that historically it was women who were literally trapped in marriage because they couldn't have their own bank account or own property. And even today women are more likely to stay in unhappy marriage because they'd basically be homeless if they left.
@@LeoDBW Exactly this. I have an aunt who’s practically brainwashed to stay with her husband and the misogyny is unreal whenever I step in their house, her husband complains about being stuck in a marriage with her all the time at family gatherings yet threatens her is she does say anything about leaving him. Unfortunately it’s more common then not
Yeah me and my partner have agreed he will ask when the time is right (likely a few years) and it will just be an excuse to have a spooky themed party 😂
@@imanijohnson1340 that sounds so perfect, i wish you both the best 🫶
666th like :D i agree
Speaking of grooms refusing to “lose” during the cake fights, it just makes me think that even DOGS will let smaller, female dogs win so that way they can keep playing. Let that sink in.
Yeah even small puppies and doggies got more ethics than grown ass men 🥺
I think lions do that, too, especially if they have a crush on said lioness. I could be wrong, but I think it's funny that animals have crushes like us
@@Kimmy0721 aw that is cute, though it does also make me sad that even animals can have more humanity than some men
I think it really suggests that this isn't a FUN thing for them, but a kind of show of dominance, which is exactly the difference between this and the examples with dogs or lions.
My dad “I wasn’t gonna ruin my wedding by ruining my beautiful wife’s face. She was stunning. Your mother was perfect and I didn’t want to ruin it for her. If your man (or anyone I want to be with now that I’m out) shoves food in your face on your wedding, DIVORCE THEM”
Your dad sounds awesome
SLAY
😂
I just got married earlier in the month and my husband is incredible. He planned the whole wedding and took so many months of planning to make it as sentimental as possible. Our cake cutting was super gentle and affectionate. We jokingly did the “here comes the airplane” thing and held hands the whole day. I could never imagine him doing to me what these “men” do to their brides.
this is so cuteeee
AWWWW congrats!
Babe, so happy for you. Hold onto each other tight and don’t ever let go
Thats amazing. My fiance cant seem to help me plan very much at all.
@@OatCakes101it’s rare for me to “meet” soon-to-be-wed couples, so if you don’t mind me asking, doesn’t he look forward to the marriage?
When my aunt and uncle got married, he wrote "help me" on the bottom of his shoe so everyone would see it when they walked away from the altar together. He thought it was a good joke, brags about it to the guys in our family sometimes. She stopped loving him right then and there. She held that resentment toward him ever since.
Are they still married despite this ?
@@anshikasingh9312i wanna know to
AWW MAN I THOUGHT IT WOULDA BEEN A HAPPY ENDING
yes @@anshikasingh9312
sorry dude @@caramel_cares
Man, these videos actually hurt to watch. I’ve been in an abusive relationship before and I feel like it’s a pretty bad sign how much I’m reminded of that period of my life when I see grooms behave like this. Like some of the wives seem genuinely afraid, maybe I’m reading into things but I know what it’s like to be with someone who doesn’t listen when you say no, and even in relatively minor instances like these, no one deserves that.
hope youre doing better
My mom told me the cake smashing thing was a hard no for her wedding, she never liked the trend and definitely didn’t want to do it herself. My dad agreed. Amazing how easy it is when a couple respects each other
Did your mother marry recently, or is this trend much older than I thought? It might also be a "different part of the world" -type of thing, but the only tradition while cutting the cake here that I've heard of, is the wife and husband competing which one of them is the first to stomp the ground with their foot while finishing the cut, to playfully "decide" which one is the leader in the marriage I guess 😅 Still a kind of an old fashioned thing, but at least it's not ruining a cake that cost a pretty penny before anyone got to eat it 🤷♂
@@elieli2893 it’s a lot older than you thought, I think my parents got married in the 80s or 90s
Traditionally, the bride and groom are suppose to feed each other a piece of cake to symbolize nurturing each other throughout their lives. Hubby and I fed each other the cake with no drama.
I know a couple who would be all about the cake battle. I don't know if they're planning to marry (the main reason they might is for simplifying international travel), but I wouldn't be at all surprised if they did something like getting a sacrificial cake and a second reception outfit for the both of them. They're hilarious, I can imagine couples like them pulling it off.
My wife and I got married in 1997. Some people practiced caking then. We didn't do it. The cake was pretty expensive, and we were both raised in households of modest means. The idea that someone would waste food like that was inconceivable to us.
It’s even more upsetting that the entire guests at the wedding are just laughing at the cake being shoved in the bride’s face. This is a massive red flag
100%
As much as I agree that people shouldn’t be laughing at this I have to admit I think I would be in so much shock all I would be able to do is a nervous laughter type of thing. But for the laughs that seem genuinely excited and entertained yeah that’s whack.
I mean, what are they supposed to do?
I guarantee a good number of those people are laughing nervously and uncomfortably, and don't want to be seeing what they are seeing. They are witnessing an assault that came out of literally nowhere. Everything is happy. Beautiful wedding, beautiful bride and groom, happy celebration, yay cake! and suddenly an assault is happening in seconds. No time to really process and react.
i imagine that they would be under the assumption that the bride was in on the joke. its hard to conceptualize that someone you assumedly know well enough to be invited to their wedding would do something that audacious
I'm really glad to see behavior like this being called out. I've always been "sensitive" and self conscious, and if my future wife humiliated me in front of our friends and family, I wouldn't feel like I could trust her.
I felt that "sensitive" in brackets in my soul. Just remember sweet pea, sensitivity is a gift in a harsh world. And let's face it, if you are to wed, it should be with someone who cherishes that sensitivity more than anything 😊
@@JuniperDennthis is so sweet for a TH-cam comment omg 😭
@@spaceiscool7791right? bro got me crying rn
@@JuniperDennbro we're sensitive why are you out here making us cry
@@JuniperDennThis is so sweet
6:02 The fact his response was to throw the cake at her after she playfully smudged his face with a bit of frosting really makes you wonder what his reaction would be over some other slight inconveniences.
the fact that one of the traditional lines in a women's vows is "to love, cherish and obey", but for men it is "to love and to cherish", says everything you need to know about wedding culture and how much it needs to change before it can be deemed equal.
princess diana refused to have that "obey" in her vows if i recall
@@rebeccagibbs4128oof still didn't end up well for her but glad she did that
Ok? If you don't want to say that then don't 💀
@@lunawilder8739they was just pointing out that's how it been for ages very out dated. But you right people shouldn't say it no more.
@@toxiczombiewolf5692except that's not the standard it's only for evangelical religions
I don’t get the man stereotype “I hate my wife” trope. My man literally tells me he just sits around and waits for me to be home. He’s obsessed with me and I love him.
Edit: this is a hyperbole- we both have our own lives we just are obsessed and love coming home to one another
The societal pressure is large and mist peopel go through the motions in life.
Thats so sweet
You married a dog 💀
This trope screams irresponsibility to me. They made this choice to marry her, they make the choice to stay everyday, they can't be mad at anyone else but themselves
@@goldenfiberwheat238 funny because I told him when we first started “he was cute in a scruffy dog type of way”- he never let it go lmao
Both myself and my husband are bi and had what was basically a straight passing wedding but we didn't follow a lot of traditions and the majority of my family thought it refreshing and beautiful that we were doing our own thing.
That’s amazing, wishing you two the best 💜
Congratulations on your wedding!
Congrats!! That sounds amazing :D
That’s awesome, congratulations!!
Yippeee!!!!!
this screams "matrimonial abuse" and it scares me how common it is seen as
like if you literally throw your lover to the floor because of a "cake cutting and fighting tradition", what are you able of doing once you are in the intimacy of home?
Ugh, so the “cake in the face” story from my Dad’s second marriage: They were supposed to feed each other a bit of cake, but instead his bride shoved the piece of cake between her cleavage in her very low cut, tight dress. He ate the piece of cake out of her cleavage. This is not something I, his 13yr old child, wanted or needed to see, let alone the rest of his family and friends. It haunts me to this day.
eww.
Eww!
omg absolutely not
Omg eww noooo 😭
EWWWW WHY ARE STRAIGHT PEOPLE LIKE THIS
I felt sorry for the groom whose mother screamed at the bride. I can see someone freezing up if they grew up with someone like that. :(
Yeah I would be mortified if my Mom did this. I'd probably even freeze for a split second till I realized she was actually serious.
He echoed his wife's statement. He told his mother she can leave.
no dude , you meant " in the most squeamish and "no balls " way " he tried to say something @@Bottomsupyours
The mother is definitely still abusive. I don't blame him for freezing up out of fear and shock
Time stamp?
About the groom freezing at the mothers screaming. There was some kind of a comment the bride made after the fact that the husband was actually having either an anxiety or a panic attack and froze up out of fear, not because he wasn't willing to stand up to her.
I feel so bad because that would genuinely be my reaction too. I don't handle conflict very well due to personal experience, and while I'd love to think I'd be able to push that aside and defend my partner, a part of me knows I'd probably freeze up and not know what to do or say. I'd try to make it up to them afterwards and would absolutely kick myself for not having the nerves to fight back... I hope everything worked out okay in the end.
^^^^That^^^^
I recognized that reaction INSTANTLY
I think I also heard him manage to say to his mother “you can leave”. That’s awful that they had to experience that.
15:30 - time stamp
My mother would be the type to scream like that and while i wouldnt freeze, i can totally understand why someone would. Its the most special day in your life and your mother just stands up to embarrass you and your significant other? Thats genuinely awful
Yeah, I can imagine that the mother might already be a frightening figure in his life. That's a difficult thing to overcome. There's a difference between being a 'mamma's boy' and being genuinely terrified. I somehow learned not to clam up when someone yells at me through sheer pent-up frustration and anger. But that took *years*, man.
I feel moments like that are a sign of things to come. Divorce, DV or both down the road. Its a significant lack of boundaries and respect.
I’d also like to add “Don’t get blackout drunk at the wedding.” Unfortunately I’ve been to a few weddings where the bride/groom either got drunk before the ceremony due to nerves or during the reception because they couldn’t believe they said “I do”, or a guest got hammered thanks to the open bar. No one should have to babysit a fully grown adult during a wedding.
Yes. Something similar happened to me a while back, when my stepdad got drunk at his brother's wedding. Nobody wants to deal with that.
I was a bridesmaid for my oldest sister’s wedding along with my 2nd sister and her husband’s sister. Her husband’s sister had a hangover from the night before and showed up late for hair and makeup and she continued to drink even when my sister kept telling her to stop. She was completely drunk by the time the wedding began so my sister made the choice to have her sit out. My mom had to relay the news to my sister’s husband and he got super pissed at his sister when the wedding was over. The whole time she was either drinking or sleeping in a corner. To this day, his sister has the audacity to say that my sister shouldn’t have pulled her out of the wedding since her brother was getting married but they both agreed that it was the right call and stand by that choice
@@queenofcats9240 I also stand by that choice. We don't need drunkards at a wedding, it ruins the vibe
Weddings are such a serious situation, I know some people would consider it overkill but I would keep the entire open bar non-alcoholic and maybe a bottle of the real stuff per table for toasting and sharing, because there is no reason you should be loosening up your inhibitions at this sort of event.
@demo2823 that is a smart idea. I would probably want to do that if I ever got married
Before our wedding a year ago, I told my now husband not to smash cake in my face. He is an adult, so he didn’t. Apparently, I should also have explained the serving cake to each other tradition, because he just ate his bite unknowingly and then felt very bad about it. Looking back, it’s hilarious. I’d like to offer this up as an alternative low-stakes non-messy cake prank.
That's so funny he did that actually lol
Mine did that too with the groom's cake! (He didn't know we were extending the feeding each other thing for both cakes) This led to one of my favorite pictures from the wedding where he's happily eating cake and I'm looking into the camera like it's The Office.
That's adorable!
I mean… yeah if you want someone to do a tradition you gotta explain said tradition first 😂
I’m not even a guy and I would have eaten the cake myself too
@@DeathnoteBBI'm a guy but I would've as well. I take cake very seriously - leave my poor husband very confused as to why I immediately started eating the slice instead of feeding it to him like usual.
That one clip where the bride did the tiniest bit of icing on the grooms face and the groom absolutely destroyed her (in the worst way possible) gave me the same vibes as when you do a dot on your friends paper and they grab a marker to absolutely scribble and DESTROY yours-
I've met a lot of guys who believe that they are entitled to 'self defence' but then exaggerate the amount of force needed. Like if a woman gives them a back handed slap, they corner her into a wall and beat her to a pulp. When the fight was technically over after the one slap and you legally cannot use force unless you are cornered or being chased. It's some sort of messed up honour thing, that they are more untouchable than you and that you need to be punished for slighting them.
@@demo2823 Mhm, thats exactly what that is. I feel that more men have a toxic masculinity trait with the "self defence" then there are not too.
My step dad did something similar when i was a child
I asked if I could draw a VERY small dot on his shirt ,,, he said yes, and when I did, he went apeshit and angrily scribbled on my entire shirt like a maniac
That was not funny,,, I thought he actually meant his yes :/
@@p0p525 dude wtf?? You were a CHILD who asked a question to an adult you TRUSTED, what did he expect when he said yes??
@@foxowaranimation397
Legit. I frankly haven't a single clue what he expected me to do when he accepted.
Especially since I was very happily asking him. Heck, I even asked if he was sure of it, and he said yes.
Even to this day, as an adult, I question why he did that.
“You can leave, Judy”
So unbothered. I can tell from watching the bride already expected some drama bs from MIL
I don’t understand how hitting your wife in public world obviously be an outrage but simply lobbing a giant dense cake at her head is totally hilarious.
Or tackling her to the ground while holding a huge knife, and cutting her arm in the process (which happened in one of the videos briefly shown)
Not only just a giant, dense cake, but a giant dense cake with things like sticks and skewers sticking up through them in order to hold them up. It's as though these grooms are actively forgetting when they attack their brides with cake that said cakes are being held up by sharp objects that, if unlucky, could do extreme, serious harm to those who are not careful handling them, so therefor, uncaringly and in some instances, furiously smashing it into the faces of their women in the best case scenario will result in injuries that'll need a length hospital trip, and at worse cause extreme permanent damage
@@Rachel-og8jy time stamp?
@@jeanettelori1439 around 5:10
its a little hard to hear but you can hear the person helping her after say "i dont know but you're bleeding somewhere" and you can see that the groom has a giant knife in his hand when he shoves the cake at her
@@jeanettelori1439 around 5:10
its a little hard to hear but you can hear the person helping her after say "i dont know but you're bleeding somewhere" and you can see that the groom has a giant knife in his hand when he shoves the cake at her
Before our wedding my husband joked about smashing the cake in my face. I said please don't. So he didn't. Still happily married 10 years later. It really is the little things.
The way you can combine humor with a very thought-provoking commentary is fucking amazing. I really did not expect to learn about the origins of bouquet throwing before watching this video.
I must insert history lesson jumpscares whenever possible muhahaha
@@funkyfrogbaitngl.... if you did a long video just rambling about history I'd watch it.
@@funkyfrogbaitYou’d probably teach me more about history than my history teacher
That is horrifying. Layered cakes have dowels in them to support the cake!
@@funkyfrogbaitnoice
as a kid who was brought to wedding and was an absolute terror, don't bring kids to wedding. At 6 my sister and I tried to swim in a chocolate fountain, at 10 I stole all the goldfish table toppers😂
How is literally knocking your wife over with the force of the cake not assault? Or if she explicitly tells you not to and you do it anyway? I could never.
it totally is. and i’d go as far to say it’s genuinely abusive behaviour. esp if they escalate in retaliation. it’s such a common tactic for abusers. “she slapped me so i gave her a black eye and bloody nose.” “she called me lazy so i called her a stupid useless bitch.” etc etc. it’s a tactic to stop victims from 1) gaining agency 2) standing up for themselves 3) showing anger in any sense (bc abusers HATE when anyone besides them shows anger or aggression). and it’s commonly considered a warning or a punishment (“if u do something ‘wrong’ u deserve to be attacked or mistreated”).
@@jo3473 Ah...so that's why my mom is like this
if she falls over in an expensive dress and heels she spent big $$$$/time to look good in. if she gets legit badly hurt in those heels, that worse. Along with ruining a $100-900 worth of cake- and that was suppose to feed guests cake too.
At my friend's wedding, her and her husband did the little dollop of icing on each other's noses. It was cute, easy to clean up with a napkin, and made for some adorable pictures. But, most importantly, it was consenual and discussed before hand as being ok!
That's what I want to do, it's not a smash, it's a little boop
FOR REAL
thats so cute😭💗
I thought this was what the tradition was supposed to be 😂
HOW IT SHOULD BE‼️
One of my uncles officiated the wedding of one of my aunts. It was beautiful. He did the entire "Mawwiage" speech from Princess Bride, lisp included. Everyone loved it. The bride and groom didn't even notice, they were just so happy to be getting married.
I love it 😊
Thanks you that is beautiful
My husband and I were so focused on each other at the ‘alter’ barely noticed the officiant at all
That sounds really cute 💖
He's a Gigachad!
Cake smashes on birthdays with me and my siblings is always fun. Because we aren't in our nicest clothes, with hair and makeup that spent hours. I would never do that to my sisters on their big day if they told me not to. That is insane.
I saw once a video of a girl at her 16th birthday party, she looked so happy and beautiful, (that dress hair and makeup and party didn't come off cheap) and her friends decided to smash a cake into her face. They laughed as she cried and left in distress and they kept asking why she was upset and crying. Now you see, this day was supposed to be about her, and about the woman she would become, but her "friends" decided to make it about themselves. I believe if anyone thinks this is funny they need to think it over, because that doesn't sound like a joke, it sounds like an issue.
69th like. But also, those friends suck ass.
@@fellow-genya-enjoyer agreed
Mhm, it's not a joke, it's malicious humiliation
I saw one where a brother I think smashed a young girls face into her cake before she even got to blow out the candles and it went just as horrible lay as you’d think as she apparently went blind since ya know she got a face full of still lit candles
That was at a quinceañera
I went to one wedding where they didn't shove cake into each other's faces, the groom got a little frosting on the bride's nose and and carefully wiped it off with a napkin then kissed her on the nose. It was so cute
Yeah, this is acceptable I do this at birthdays that way it is just a funny little tradition. This instance is adorable but what is not okay is forcing a cake onto your brides face and literally ruining your spouse’s special day
Many moons ago my dad did photography for a lot of weddings- he said that out of all the weddings he attended, every single one where the groom shoved cake in the bride’s face ended in divorce before 5 years. I sure hope that’s the trend for all other marriages too, because no one deserves to be with someone who does that
Luckily, there's no such "tradition" in my country... First time I even hear about it.
@@Myria83I mean it’s not exactly tradition here either
Better to keep it that way...@@DeathnoteBB
This might sound weird but my dog Lenny died yesterday August 30th 2024 and FunkyFrogbait give me so much comfort watching these videos Rn thank you for making videos you make my day a little better
❤
I see the cake feeding as a symbolic thing; bride and groom are doing a nurturing act to show they are willing and ready to take care of each other. So when one of them shoves cake in the other's face, they are clearly showing that if their partner ever NEEDS nuturing from them, tough shit, the cake shover will prioritize their own enjoyment over the other's health.
Exactly
That's pretty accurate. The divorce rates for women who are diagnosed with cancer are extremely high.
@@debbieh7063 I'm not remotely surprised, but reading this still feels like a punch to the gut. couldnt imagine leaving my partners in such a terrifying situation.
@@portiam9541the diverse rates are similar for men with illnesses that end their ability to work. People are shallow
@@orionar2461 That's so messed up... I couldn't imagine.
Maybe this is from being raised to be frugal but, Ive NEVER understood why people would ruin the literal most expensive type of cake money can buy. Also videos like these make me so much more thankful I have a partner who is actually respectful 😅
in my culture wasting food or even 'playing' with food is considered extremely disrespectful and shitty behaviour, never mind the fact you mentioned that someone paid SO much money and time organising it in the first place.
yep, this seems to be a very American thing, I'm from Eastern Europe and I've never heard of this. wasting food and assaulting your partner at the same time is such a weird tradition.
i wouldn’t even ruin a cake i made from cake mix 😭😭
Privilege people behaviour- specifically in America (im not saying that every american is rich, but America is more privileged than most countries.) Theres a reason why in any country but America, it is extremely shitty to waste food.
The wedding itself is an act of extreme waste to display strength and wealth to everyone else (this is not unique to America). The act of destroying the cake without even tasting it, provided that everyone agreed to it ahead of time, is just an extension of this waste.
However, most of these incidences involve destroying the cake without the Bride's consent. This is very sinister because (at a deep level), it is the groom and his family/social group asserting dominance over the bride and her family/social group.
1. He is blatantly going against her wishes and showing everyone that she can't stop him.
2. The wedding is traditionally paid for by the Bride's family. He is directly undermining her/their display of wealth and power.
3. A lot of these incidences involve the bride being assaulted publicly because the guy's pride and dominance are more important to him than the Bride's well being.
One of the worst parts for me is that while these grooms are getting a lot of negative attention now, for a long time it was ignored while entire reality shows showed as many "bridezillas" as possible. Puts a lot of pressure on brides to be perfect imo, while there's no pressure on the groom.
Good point
One of the upsides of the internet is men's bad behaviour is easier to put on display (they put it on display themselves) so now more women are waking up to what men are really like
I always saw those shows as cautionary tales, like: don’t ruin your own wedding with such terrible behavior “.
1:22 STOP ACTUALKY THO MY MOM TEXTED ME TO PUT IT PUT
OMG LOL
That’s actually insane lol
Huh-
Ohhh you did the wrong timee
YO THAT IS CRAZY THO
I’ve always hated the cake feeding “tradition” and how it ends up in cake on the face. How absolutely heartbreaking for those women who spent so much time on their makeup and hair to have it ruined!
Yeah plus the fact that a lot of pride probably got cake in their eyes and/our up their noses
That must hurt super bad
Or worse like one of the brides in the video blinded
fr! my fiancé wants to do it, but i said no. i know my makeup will take hours and i wanna feel beautiful on our day so we compromised for just doing a dollop of frosting on our noses 😅
if i get married i hope that doesn't happen to me. (i like your pfp. is it Luna Lovegood?)
I saw someone on tik tok throw a plushine instead of the bouquet. Everyone married and unmarried could try for it. It symbolized who was gonna get a cat next. So much better. lol Wish I had done that.
That’s cute and so genius!
Oo i love that, i wanna do that now 😂
that's so cuutee i wanna do that if i ever get married lol
Cute!
God I wish I had that, my cousin’s wedding both had the garter toss (where the groom also stripped for some reason) and gathered all the female guests to see who’s get married next despite the fact I was under 10
I find it so funny that people feel like they need to win the "cake fight". At my brother's wedding, they cut the cake, smeared a little frosting on each other's noses, and moved on. People are just crazy
If my husband threw a cake at me I would divorce him right there. I don’t care how much the wedding cost, that kinda disrespect is too crazy
This day that may be a cake ,in other it can be another thing. Just one red flag is enough for to call it quits
Some people actually have filed for divorce over this, I'm glad they took action
Well if you could get an anullment so you don't have to pay all those divorce fees
I would add a couple extra rules.... A) consider not getting shit face drunk. This is for both members of the wedding party and guests. Have a drink or two if it suits you, but pace yourself and stop before you are at you think you've had too much. B) Don't ever propose to someone at someone else's wedding (this also includes pregnancy announcements etc.). It takes the focus away from the bride and groom after they and/or their families have spent a lot of money on a special day. And it may make someone you love feel obliged to accept even if they don't really want to marry you.
Great additional rules tbh
A part 2) don't get drunk then start a shouting match outside the venue and throw a bottle of blackberry icewine at your fiance's head because he won't dance with you. Wait-- not everybody had this experience at a wedding? Oh, just me, okay. (It was my mom and her fiance lmaoooo I was mortified. I've been to lots of weddings as a caterer, but the ONE and ONLY wedding where I was a guest and they couldn't keep their shit together!)
Anyone who proposes to me at someone's wedding INSTANTLY gets the NO.
the whole cake issue for me is also about clear signs of aggression/violence from your *life* partner - as someone who has lived with violent/easily angered people, that's terrifying
I've seen a couple reddit videos where the question was some variation of "What are signs that the couple is getting divorced?". Around 90% of the responses were saying that the cake cutting is almost 100% correct in determining the couples future, and if the groom smashed cake into the brudes face, they are probably going to get divorced.
Now I see why.
He had his arm around her neck, and then he had the nerve to look like he was wronged when she stormed away.
The wife who got straight up assaulted whose groom made her bleed would've had every right to have him arrested for that but unfortunately everyone would've sided with him.
What is next, wedding night rape?
Yep! "Lighten up! It's just CAKE!" 🤬
Exactly. Are we normalizing abuse just bc there's cake? Nonsense
When my wife and I were talking about marriage I told her if she smashed cake in my face, I'd straight up leave. She said she'd never do that. We also didn't have a cake and had doughnuts, fried chicken and tacos. Love that woman..
Cutee
I love non-traditional weddings.
10/10 wedding food
For my wedding, I am getting married at the courthouse and having a hell of a party at my house.
@opticalraven1935 my friend had a super small wedding ceremony and then a bunch of months later a costume party celebration on Friday October 13 and it was LIT.
The tradition of feeding each other cake is supposed to symbolize how you will take care of each other during the marriage. You literally promise to take care of each other in the vows. These men who smash cakes in their brides faces are basically showing how they will NOT take care of them, and they will in fact treat them like trash.
Yeah, my parents did the gentle cake feeding from what I can guess by the pictures
Right.. started out as a cute tradition abt how much they’ll care for eachother, and ends up turning into.. this
I’m so glad I didn’t have to rely on vows to find out if my partner is willing to take care of me. I’m disabled so not only does he normally help me everyday but the very first time I was more sick than usual he made sure to wait on me so I didn’t push myself. The man has taken time off work to get me to appointments in the winter when I can’t go out on my own. It also isn’t one sided I do everything I can for him when he’s sick and he doesn’t even need to ask.
"The frozen chicken you left in the freezer for your mom, you're welcome"
thanks because I actually forgot
I wore a white dress to a wedding when I was 16 because I genuinely didn't know not to and no one told me otherwise. I didn't realize it until years later when I saw pictures from the wedding and I am still mortified to this day.
The fact that no one told you is so weird. Like what were they thinking
Same. But i was 9 or 10😂😅
Apparently it's also not cool to wear the bridesmaids colours if your not one and know what colour they're going to be wearing before hand. I helped pick the wedding colours so I fudged myself over on that one until a bridesmaid jumped ship and I was made one anyways.
I didn't know it was a thing until a few years ago either. No one mentioned it ever or talked about it ever. I'm in Europe so idk maybe the customs were different. I was just Lucky I never wear white dresses anyway. But I also can't imagine caring about someone wearing white to my wedding, let alone this ruining my wedding or men coordinating not to wear the same colour suit\shirt as the groom. It would tho be weird if someone straight up wore a wedding dress to a wedding.
If you were 16 and no one told you otherwise, then I'd consider it a bit unfortunate but not your fault. Maybe the fault of whoever bought the dress for you or told you it was fine for a wedding (assuming mom or other older female family member who would know better), but still just an unfortunate faux pas rather than something mortifying. And hey, it could have been worse! My aunt intentionally dressed herself and her 15-16 y/o daughter in white to attend my mom's wedding lol.
I saw a Reddit post recently where a bride immediately left the wedding after the groom embarrassed her in front of everyone to “get approval from her family” when he has been abusive to her for years. She’s getting an annulment because supposedly he has been cheating on her. She’s also dropping contact with her family who has also been abusive to her her whole life. The groom didn’t even try to win her back. He just said okay and let her go.
That just fucking depressing.
Tbh though, good for her. I don't think it's a bad thing when abusive partners don't try to "win back" their partners. It's hard enough to leave a toxic relationship as is, you don't need the abuser to sweet talk you into staying.
@@LeoTheDarkAngel oh yea I’m glad she left too. She didn’t deserve that bs.
@@Dragon81205It's so depressing that guy valued his abusive mother in law over his own wife.
It's so depressing that guy knew full well for YEARS how his wife-to-be felt both about cheating and about cake smashing, and he did both to her anyway.
It's so depressing that he knew what would happen if he smashed cake in her face, but he did it anyway.
It's so depressing that he got more mad at being "humiliated" by her leaving him in response to his actions than being embarrassed at the fact that he behaved like a child throwing a tantrum on camera.
A lot of things about that story are depressing: the woman leaving with her dignity, her pride, and her self esteem intact, ring free, is the happy ending part of the story.😊❤🎉
I would like to mention, since you were talking about the whole cake throwing thing, that it's also a mentality among some that the woman in a relationship is always supposed to lose to the man in the relationship. My mother told me I have to let a guy win if I want to date or marry them. If I do win they'll see themselves as weak/less of a man in the relationship. My mother threw a fit that I said I wouldn't want to be with a guy that can't handle being beat in a game or competition of some kind by someone just because they're a girl, especially when that someone is someone they're dating/marrying. Sorry mom but I'm not going to let a guy have his way and walk all over me because he has an ego/insecurity problem; that's not how life is that's just settling for stupidity.
My spouse and I are competitive in a friendly way. We play board games, videos games, paintball etc and we just sass each other when we win or lose. No feelings are hurt, we've got different skills and strengths. But I will not loose on purpose because of my pride 😂 and we usually say "good game! Good job love!"
My family thinks the opposite since a man shouldn’t ever need to feel stronger over a woman, the idea that wanting to feel “emasculated” by overpowering the woman is seen as toxic from what they believe, while we have our differing beliefs, it’s one of the things I’m grateful for them having instead of those backward ones your mother has, I’m sorry about that
@awkwardotter1397 I like to think that if you play games in a group and one of you wins you would just be like “YEAH! THAT’S MY SPOUSE!”
@@one-onessadhalf3393 haha exactly XD we do game nights with friends and family and we love hyping each other up! And teasing each other about cheating
I was on a second date with a new guy. We were talking and he told me that he used to be a runner but had given it up. I asked why. And then this seemingly sweet man said "Some female with a baby carriage" beat his time in a race. Some female..... It was our last date.
Before we got married I said to my husband that I didn’t want to do the cake thing, and his response was “oh I was never going to do that, Ive always thought it’s super demeaning to the bride.” I wish I could marry him again
I have never heard such a thorough and eloquent explanation of why toxic marriage culture SUCKS.
there was actually an instance where the bride ended up divorcing (or getting the marriage annulled don’t remember) because her husband destroyed their wedding cake. She said something along the lines of that he knew how much the wedding meant a to her and she was completely blindsided by what he did
Good call on her part...and honestly it's really refreshing to hear someone take a stand on such a pivotal moment like a wedding and matrimony.
@@janesparks773 yeah I heard it on a podcast. I wouldn’t ever trust my partner again if that did something like that.
@@janesparks773I subbed to you. You speaking true facts 😌👍🏿
@ville__ sorry who are you?
@ville__ lmao who even are you
This video hits close to home as a divorced man. I can relate to the spectacle of weddings, how it felt more like a production than a celebration of love. The cake-in-the-face tradition was funny at the time, but looking back, it signaled a lack of mutual respect. And you're spot-on about the inequalities and pressures on the bride; I wish I'd been more aware. The competitiveness in wedding traditions also seems like a red flag now. We rushed into things, maybe because of societal pressures or subtle ultimatums. I've since questioned the patriarchal framework of marriage and why we still stick to some of these outdated traditions. Your 'Rules for a Wedding That Doesn't Suck' are on point-especially the one about actually liking the person you're marrying.
No shade but it doesn’t sound like you “learned” anything. You saw this and still blamed everyone else but yourself for your own selfish decisions which included harmful ACTIONS. If you were getting married and thought it was a competition with her that’s a you problem because traditions didn’t make you hate your bride or compete against an entire woman
@@eleventhecccreator You're right, and I appreciate the reality check. Sometimes it's easier to blame societal norms or external pressures than to look inward and take personal responsibility. The choices I made contributed to the failure of my marriage. The video was enlightening, but ultimately, the onus is on me to improve and make better decisions moving forward. Thank you for calling me out; accountability is the first step toward growth.
red skull is a literal nazi, tf are you doingV
@@fredskull1618 I'm sorry for the failure of the marriage, but it sounds like you've learned and matured as a person. As someone who's always been single I can't really preach about marriage, but life is full of past actions that we regret. Not just you, but the rest of us too. The only thing we can do is be better persons moving forward.
@@rebeccahicks2392 Thank you for your understanding and thoughtful words. I’m learning to accept that life is a journey, filled with both triumphs and regrets. Your perspective, even as someone who's always been single, is valuable and appreciated.
Bakery’s have started putting warnings on the box and cake because of this shit and when people shove another person’s face into the cake? people are getting seriously hurt due to wood dowels, straws, decorations… even a cardboard cake board can hurt you!!