The Babylon Bee Guide to Every Christian Denomination
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
- Let your friends at The Babylon Bee walk you through every single Christian denomination in existence, except for the ones we forgot. What's your favorite denomination? Let us know in the comments!
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What denominations did we miss?
Y'all missed Presbyterians--the "Frozen Chosen" lol
No Jehovahs Wittness jokes? Proud of you guys for not picking the low hanging fruit when it came to joke writing 😜
I would add Charismatic. But they are all independent nondenominational churches. There is no Charismatic denominations. Except maybe Vineyard. Aka Charismatic Calvery Church. Also Reformed aka modern Calvinist , that is a major one. They have some really small denominations but mostly they are nondenominational indies also.
Mormons smh
assemblies of god
It was predetermined that Calvinists would be left out
It was predetermined that I would see what you did there. 😏
It was pre-ordained, but individually the people of babylon bee, of their own free will, chose to exclude Presbyterianism as well.
HAH!
God made me do it 😥
No it wasn't, because It was predestined that you would bring them up! It's not a denomination btw
Lutheranism was not started by MKL’s I Have A Dream speech. It was founded by Lex Luther, arch enemy of Superman. He was the author of the phrase “Upon this rock I will build my church”. The rock, of course, was Kriptonite.
That's hilarious 😂
Ha! I knew the Bee was lying. Thank you, sir, for speaking the truth.
Not Luther Vandross? Darn ...
Lutheranism should be imposed by law (in Latin, "lex").
Yeah.. Babylon Bee was way off on that one 🤣 Lex Luthor for the win
I love how many of us Christians can have a laugh at this, about each other, and about ourselves.
Well played Babylon Bee 🙂
Just goes to show 99% of the claims made by the mainstream media about Christians is bullshit propaganda.
Ummm I mean the world is falling apart and the once hip bee sounds like a far left toilet now. This is like their 4th punch in the face toward various forms of Christianity in recent months.
@@geoffwaters8786 The Bee constantly makes fun of leftist politicians, the MSM, and woke clown world insanity. They aren't going "far left" because they made fun of you four times in a handful of months. Chill.
@@CapnCoconuts jury is out, this is what the left does. They cozy up t the right then suddenly attack the right relentlessly. I hope it’s not the case I don’t mind jokes about anyone but when it becomes consistent one has to wonder what the plan is
@@82pythons85 just like 99% of the outside claims about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, are propaganda claims that use half truths and outright fabrications to scare away investigators.
Don't forget the golden rule.
"Evangelical Non-Denominational...they're just undercover Baptists" I laughed way to hard at this one
That is what I have always said about the non-denominational churches.
As someone who goes to a non denom church….yeah
Yeah, that comment was spot on! Hilarious
An old joke -
During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!"
The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.
The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?"
The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.
The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.
The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage.
The Jews posted symbols on the door hoping the fire would pass.
The Congregationalists shouted, "Every man for himself!"
The Fundamentalists proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God!"
The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.
The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no fire.
The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report.
The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.
Ten minutes later the Mormons arrived, bringing the refreshments.
I forget what the saying was but it's something like, "if you spend too much time thinking, you STOP thinking as a result"
Why is this not top comment this is gold.
Rofl 🤣
The Pentecostals decided "Now's as good a time as any to throw a party!"
Another Old Joke...
Why don't Baptist have sex standing up?
Don't want to look like their dancing.
🙄
My dear departed minister uncle told a joke to me some 40 years ago. A teacher asked her students to bring in something the next day for show and tell for the other students to see something about their religion. (This tells you how old this joke is.) Anyway, a catholic kid brought in rosary beads, a jewish kid brought in his dad's yamaka, a presbyterian girl brought in her mom's choir robe, and the baptist kid brought in a casserole dish.
lol
Baptist or Morman would bring casserole... Mormon specifically would be funeral potatoes.
@@danryan4001 You're welcome! My uncle loved to make people laugh!
@@nancymeggelin5859 Wouldn't the Mormons have jello?
@@andrewtantzen559 green of course
Man, I have been a non-denominational my entire life. Today I learned I was an undercover baptist. Wow, the more you learn!
Jesus said, "I have other sheep, that aren't of this fold. I will talk to them, there will be one flock then, one shepherd." So, is your non-denominational denomination part of this fold or are you an other sheep that He is talking to? (John 10:16)
He meant bapti-costal
ha ha! Me too!
The secret is out now! Sorry
same
"Unitarian Universalists, ... they're atheists, we even take Mormons over these guys." 🤣🤣🤣
❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥
That one had me laughing (ROTFLMAO)...because it's true! 😂😂😂
Branch Covidians:
"We must shut down society and throw medical ethics out the window, otherwise we might all...get a sore throat and the sniffles."
Hilarious
Hey, this is about christian denominations! Although I would be curious if they did one on religions.
oh yes Christian Scientists, people who are that guy on the roof of his flooded house rejecting the truck, the boat, the helicopter and the gab
Connecticut must be the epicenter of the branch covidians, masks everywhere and advertisements for jab all over the place.
Hail Fauci, father of fraud.
Being raised as a "Presbyterian", I was hoping you would cover this denomination so you could tell me what it was about... since I still don't know.
@Frugal Family Living Does anyone attend who doesn't think they got the lucky ticket with the in "we made it" crowd?
That's when the Scots rebelled against episcopalian rule, with bishops and appointed ministers, and decided to elect their own ministers.
Presbyterians are seen as harsh, fire and brimstone preachers. Maybe you've heard of the reverend Ian Paisley from Northern Ireland. Addressing a crowd at a rally, he finished a passage with " . . and there will be wailing, and gnashing of teeth!"
"What if you haven't GOT any teeth!" shouted a voice from the crowd.
"TEETH!" he replied "SHALL BE PROVIDED!"
That's presbyterianism in a nutshell.
@@JoesWebPresence He blew it. Should have said, "Then there'll be the gnashing of gums!"
Lutherans...dead on!
On a more serious note...Presbyterianism historically originated as the Scottish version of Reformed churches. As a system of government, both Presbyterian and Reformed churches follow "Presbyterian polity." But one key emphasis of historical Presbyterianism is the concept of divine right - specifically the divine right of church government (and not kings). A foundational principle is the "Regulative Principle" for doctrine, worship, and church practice. You could describe it as a "happy medium" between Prelacy (think Roman Catholic / Anglican hierarchical churches) and Independency (think Baptists or Congregationalists - the equivalent of democracy in churches). Not really a scale, but a helpful initial analogy. There's actually a very good book called "Therefore the Truth I Speak" by Macleod which goes through the history of early (and some more recent) Presbyterianism.
As a 27yo Lutheran, I am, in fact, still one of the youngest and newest additions to my church 😂 At least I can use my medical training to revive the old folks when one of them kicks it
Be Catholic instead
Thank you for being there
Made me actually laugh out loud
@@ABB14-11 Tried that first, lol.
Then you'd both have to become Pentecostals. As we all know, anything less than 10% likely to occur is a miracle when it does.
Just kidding, I've seen miracles. It just annoys me when people say that something is a miracle when it is clearly not.
"like a rave but for Jesus!" I was raised in a Pentecostal church and your description was 100% accurate.
Same
The fire of the Holy Spirit has gone out in most Pentecostal churches and even the smoke has dissipated. They comfort themselves with bands, light shows and pizza. That said, let the fire of the Holy Spirit fall on us!
@@Truthhound1 but He. seems to never have even entered other church’s. There are plenty of true Pentecostal churches with God fire in it even today and it’s growing
So then where'd he get the idea that we just randomly have our own personal revelations as substitutes for Scripture?
@@DylanGollerShow it seems to be a generalization that pentecostals have personal revelations that reshape the bible. It's true, there is a focus on personal revelations and understandings of the bible, but generally it's in harmony with what's already there - a deeper understanding - not just making up conflicting things.
As a theologian, I approve this message!
I was wondering, though, why you didn’t mention the Amish and Mennonites… then realized, they wouldn’t see it anyway… 😂
Amish: The original Christians from 1860
Mennonite: Amish with cars
They do not believe in Grace. They are Anabaptists. Like your description of Amish and Mennonite
Haha I used to work for a Mennonite guy. I learned so much about their belief system and the differences between them and Amish. It was really enlightening. He would have loved this video
Hilarious! 🤣😂🤣
The Mennonites can see it…
Hutterites: amish with every piece of farming tech known to man
As a Catholic I am deeply offended there was no mention of Bingo ........
Patrick, our resident Catholic concurs.
@@TheBabylonBee What's your bingo game strategy to win?
@@fredkilner2299 The same as it's been for 2000 years.
Or breakfast for dinner-- pancake night!
Yes!
Catholic here. Latin, guilt and booze is pretty well on point. Fun face. 9 military chaplains have won the Medal of Honor. 5 were Catholics.
Another Catholic. I second @TheKyPerson. 👍😁😜🙏
Protestant here that has catholic friends I can relate to the L.G.B. Comment
This is probably because the WASPs conscripted you the moment you arrived.
Ooh that's crazy on the history going to have to look em up that's neat to know
As a Byzantine Catholic, I don’t identify with either the Latin or guilt tropes😂
A friend of mine who is a Mormon told me " Mormon joke". Here it is... During Brigham Young University's football game, men in the stadium cheer their team with: "bring them young! bring them young! While, women in the stadium cheer their team with: "more men! more men!. 😇
My dad stuck to the Mormon church through his teen years and raised all his kids, including me, in it, and even then he's the first to come out swinging with some of the most offensive jokes you could think of. One of his tamer ones is "Why did Mormons stop practicing polygamy? You would too if you had more than one mother-in-law."
For those who think the Lutherans are boring, you've never sat through a church voters meeting deciding some momentous issue like what color the new carpet should be. Or what color the new parking lot asphalt should be. It puts the WWF to shame (the wrasslin' one, not the critter one).
Lutheran here! After we choose the new carpet at least we can go out for a beer without shame and guilt.
Church carpet color has caused so many church splits, the outlawing of church carpet should be on the agenda of the next ecumenical council.
LOL, when my little Southern Baptist Church got new carpet, the pastor refused to be a part of the committee choosing the carpet, because he had seen an actual church split over carpet and paint color! So when we painted, the ladies' group handled it. 😉😇
Can confirm! Usually we secret these votes to the council meeting or just have the buildings and grounds guy handle it.
@@tracywick7632 If the ladies had never been allowed to be involved there would never be splits. It's a blunt truth. Sorry anybody who has let their wife run things to shut them up.
PCA here. We're going ahead with a committee, which is different from a commission, to examine how we should feel about being left out of this video. Our findings will be brought before the general assembly by our assistant pastor, who is different from an associate pastor, and the entire denomination will determine by vote whether we've been offended. The Book of Church Order will then be amended accordingly to determine if viewing Babylon Bee content warrants church discipline.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well done Mr. Gleason!
😂😂😂😂🤯
So nailed Presbyterian/Reformed churches.....
I suspect you have sense of humour, so you can't really be a Presbyterian 😉
You left out the Seventh-Day Adventists. We're the denomination that's always picked last at the inter-denominational dodgeball tournament.
Haha I love this.
That's because you keep showing up at the dodgeball stadium a day early ;-)
I didn't even notice! Sorry!
@@michaeldeloatch7461 That, or six days too late.
I love SDA!
as a Catholic who became Protestant, then atheist, and then finally, Catholic again, yup you summed it up 😁👏
Welcome back home!
I’m glad you made it back to the one church.
You must have been Anglican, with all your churches moving back-and-forth, whenever a Catholic or a Protestant King/Queen gets elected, instead of some stable Oliver Cromwell, or his son?
Wow! I have loved exploring more about Catholic and Orthodox churches. There is a lot of things I appreciate them for that is not in protestantism. For me as long as a church is truly following Christ and the bible, I think it's nice to experience many to have more understanding of our history of belief. My wife refuses to do either Catholic or Orthodox though it seems as her family came out of Catholic and she sees things very black and white. Just because I feel divine presence in a Catholic or Orthodox church doesn't mean that I have anything against the baptist churches I came from.
Wow man, that's what I call a roundabout! Welcome back home!
"They're basically Catholics, with cooler beards" As a Catholic, I have to agree.
"Latin, Guilt, and Booze" will be name of my post-prog-ska band's second concept album.
We are not basically Catholics, but we do have cooler beards.
Catholics are basically Orthodox, but without the cool beards and an extra +5 bonus in idolatry.
please update us if this whole post-prog-ska thing is real or becomes real cause you have my support 100 percent.
Catholics: "You're a schismatic."
Orthodox: "No, you are!"
[both watch this video]
"They...they don't even have relics, or icons? Perhaps we are more alike than previously thought."
@@thompsonspence8895 My thoughts as well, Orthodoxy is largely unknown by American protestants so they really don't have insights into the pretty wide theological differences between Orthodoxy and Catholicism and had western Europe been under orthodoxy, the reformation would have never occurred.
As a member of the Eastern Orthodox church, I am fully satisfied with your description of us.
Agreed
Catholic here. We only gave ground on the beards so we could develop some hardcore mustache and sideburn technology. That's how we got Austria-Hungary and Mexico.
Great Beards!
This video explains the lack of success the Eastern Orthodox Church has had in East Asia: We yellow people don't have enough facial hair.
@@CindyRoy57 Ever heard of The Boxer Rebellion?
“Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine,
There’s always laughter and good red wine.
At least I’ve always found it so.
Benedicamus Domino!” ― Hilaire Belloc
With Catholic Synodality,
the bread alone expect to see.
And is there laughter behind the masks?
Pope Franciscus says "Don't ask!"
"Attending a Penticostal worship service is like going to a drug fueled rave... but for Jesus"
That is so accurate. This video was hilarious!
I can vouch for that. I was born Presbyterian (PCA as it turns out) to a Penticostal mother. I've seen it all. I could write a book and manty would think it fiction.
@@tampanativesonDo tell
Amen especially youth services.
Emo Phillips:
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
Best one yet!
LOL
Hilarious!
🤣🤣 that made me LMAO! Thank you!
Lolololol very funny! The Baptists sure are stubborn and are very specific indeed. Lol
I am loving the friendly banter. As the world gets crazier and religious freedoms are continually attacked, I see a need for us to start coming together for the greater good. Uniting in our love for our Savior, Jesus Christ, to protect the right to worship him how and when we please.
Rob, yes the friendly, lighthearted discussions here are refreshing! I get very tired of people insulting others and being hateful on anti-social media while hiding behind their keyboard.
To all my fellow Christians: No more brother wars!
Amen brother
Agreed... So I for one welcome you to the one true church of the Roman Catholic... ;)
@@CaesarGB Seriously we need to stick together for many more reasons than less.
I am an Evangelical non denominational - you described us as undercover baptists but you missed the part about us having rock bands in our services. Other than that, pretty much nailed it
Hence the "undercover" part... and yeah, I knew some of you guys growing up. If I can't make it to an Pentecostal rave, I could hang out with you guys.
Their description of Baptists is also pretty spot on.
Lol seriously! I’m an Evangelical Assyrian Orthodox. Evangelical is just an adverb or pronoun. You can be Evangelical in a non Evangelical church, or non Evangelical in an Evangelical church, depends on if your church has Evangelical beliefs or not, Most Orthodox is very Evangelical in America, and especially my Assyrian church here in Florida. Evangelical I think is misunderstood. But going to an Evangelical non denominational is actually a good idea, I go to one on Thursdays but Orthodox on Sundays. I get great value out both.
Yeah but our rock bands suck…more boring than a bad bar band
The Baptist church I go doesn’t ban any of the stuff they said. Might be an American Baptist thing?
Hahahahaha! Lifelong devout Catholic here and that was hilarious.
I always loved the Simpson’s skit when Homer and Bart converted to Catholicism because of the Knights of Columbus spaghetti dinners. Catholic versus Protestant Heaven still makes me laugh.
Trent Horn was jokingly upset that his subscribers were saying he looks tired from his new Camera.
My reply would be somebody is getting a lot more purgatory time for making that Camera.
T-r-a-n-s-u-b-s-t-a-n-t-i-a-t-i-o-n!
Hey no fair! He's got it written on his arm!
Ha, welcome to the jungle Kyle
@@redkiwi2351 Right arm 💪 Patrick!
Debunking catholicism
I'm more blessed than mary
Proof = Luke 11:27-28
27 And it happened, as He spoke these things, that a certain woman from the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, “Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!”
28 But He said, “More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”
In Luke 11:27 that random woman LITERALLY said Jesus your mother is Blessed, but are Lord Jesus LITERALLY said Believers are more Blessed than mary. Amen and Amen
_________________________
CHRIST alone
John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
Hebrew 9:15 And for this reason He is the Mediator of the new covenant, by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions under the first covenant, that those who are called may receive the promise of the eternal inheritance.
Acts 4:12 Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”
1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus
_________________________
Work of God =
John 6:28 Then they said to Him, “What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?”
29 Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.”
_________________________
1 Timothy 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach
Paul allows bishops to get marry, but catholic church goes against paul.
Now these catholic will give a Verses from 1 Corinthians7 to say that paul gave the advice to stay unmarried. But they will not tell you that the same chapter they quote says 1 Corinthians 7:28 "even if you do marry, you have not SINNED". The passage literally says "young women, young men" and a bishop is supposed to be a Church ELDER. Mic drop
_________________________
Jesus said Matthew 23:9
9 Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.
And also said Holy Father to Heavenly Father= John 17:11
11 Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are.
Jesus said call no one Father but still catholics call *pope holy father.
Sad
_________________________
Whenever a catholic argue about mary being the mother of God
Use this to defeat the argument.
Luke 8:21 But He answered and said to them, “My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.”
Matthew 12:46-50
46 While He was still talking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him. 47 Then one said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.”
48 But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” 49 And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”.
Mark 3:35 For whoever does the will of God is My brother and My sister and mother.”
John 19:26-27
26 When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” 27 Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home. ( Jesus basically said John is the son of mary, and mary is the mother of John from that time onwards).
By the way sarah is the mother of all proof=Galatians 4:21-26.
_________________________
We should not pray to apostles
Romans 1:25
25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
Acts 10:25-26
25 As Peter was coming in, Cornelius met him and fell down at his feet and worshiped him. 26 But Peter lifted him up, saying, “Stand up; I myself am also a man.”
Acts 14:15
15 and saying, “Men, why are you doing these things? We also are men with the same nature as you, and preach to you that you should turn from these useless things to the living God, who made the heaven, the earth, the sea, and all things that are in them,
Revelation 19:10
10 And I fell at his feet to worship him. But he said to me, “See that you do not do that! I am your fellow servant, and of your brethren who have the testimony of Jesus. Worship God! For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”
Revelation 22:8-9
8 Now I, John, saw and heard these things. And when I heard and saw, I fell down to worship before the feet of the angel who showed me these things.
9 Then he said to me, “See that you do not do that. For I am your fellow servant, and of your brethren the prophets, and of those who keep the words of this book. Worship God."
Colossians 2:18
18 Let no one cheat you of your reward, taking delight in false humility and worship of angels, intruding into those things which he has not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind,
You cannot go to Father through saints nor mary, you can only go to the Father through Lord Jesus Christ= John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
Ephesians 2:18 For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father.
Holy Spirit intercedes for us=Romans 8:26
26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
And CHRIST as well=Romans 8:34
34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.
Hebrews 7:25
25 Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.
It's Christ and Holy Spirit who intercedes for us not apostles
_________________________
There is only one Mediator between God and men LORD Jesus Christ= 1 Timothy 2:5
For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus.
Hebrew 9:15 And for this reason He is the Mediator of the new covenant, by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions under the first covenant, that those who are called may receive the promise of the eternal inheritance.
Hebrew 12:24 to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel.
Hebrew 8:6 But now He has obtained a more excellent ministry, inasmuch as He is also Mediator of a better covenant, which was established on better promises.
_________________________
Apostles are allowed to marry,
1 Corinthians 9:1-5
1 Am I not an apostle? Am I not free? Have I not seen Jesus Christ our Lord? Are you not my work in the Lord? 2 If I am not an apostle to others, yet doubtless I am to you. For you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord.
3 My defense to those who examine me is this: 4 Do we have no right to eat and drink? 5 Do we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles, the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?
If Peter (peter is cephas read John 1:42) the so called "first pope" was married, why does the catholic church doesn't allow "pope" to marry?
_________________________
The so called vicar of christ/ pope/holy father Peter called himself a fellow elder in 1 Peter 5:1, and as per the qualifications of elder in Titus 1:5-9 the elder is allowed to get married; then why does the "pope" is required to be celibate and catholic? ( when Peter was neither celibate nor catholic).
1)Peter was not perfect human nor was he a perfect disciple
2)He sank down while walking on water
3)Our Lord said to peter get behind me satan
4)Peter reject our Lord 3 times
5)Our Lord rebuked Peter for calling fire from heaven
6)Our Lord rebuked Peter when he cut of the soilders ear
7)Paul rebuked Peter for being hypocrite because he was acting different in front of Jews and different in front of gentiles.
8) Moses messed up, and he was a important part of Bible ( that's why he never entered the promised land),
9)David messed up ( and he has the Holy Spirit),
10)King Soloman messed up,
11) Saul messed up and God regretted the decision (1 Samuel 15:10-11).
Hatrick (Saul then David then Soloman back to back messed up)
12)The apostles run away a day before Lord Jesus got locked up.
13)The early church messed up Rev 2:18-20
If these great people could mess up, why do you think the catholic church wouldn't mess up.
____________________________________
Galatians 4:21-26
21 Tell me, you who desire to be under the law, do you not hear the law? 22 For it is written that Abraham had two sons: the one by a bondwoman, the other by a freewoman. 23 But he who was of the bondwoman was born according to the flesh, and he of the freewoman through promise, 24 which things are symbolic. For these are the two covenants: the one from Mount Sinai which gives birth to bondage, which is Hagar- 25 for this Hagar is Mount Sinai in Arabia, and corresponds to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children- 26 but the Jerusalem above is free, which is the mother of us all.
Sarah is mother of all, Not mary.
_________________________
Also the Church has many name like Christians, Evangelists, Children of God, Believers, servents of God, bride of Christ, but not once the Church is called catholics.
________________________
Also, if the apostles didn't wrote it, I don't want it...
@@mynameis......23 literally nobody asked.
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints the Babylon Bee is one of my favorite Christian sites.
Wow you must be old
@@Sincerit Na I'm 19
I’m LDS too, age 25. I love Babylon Bee!
🇩🇰Lutheran here and GREATLY enjoy Babylon bee as well
Dude. Just call yourself a mormon.
“They’re atheists… we’d even take the Mormons over them” 😜
I once attended a marriage of a divorced Episcopalian to a Catholic, performed by a Unitarian minister because no Catholic priest could marry a divorced person. (The horror!) Substituting “spiritual essence of the universe” for “God” every time in the traditional marriage rites got tedious after, oh, the first 60 seconds.
I laughed pretty hard. As a teen I visited a variety of churches... that one stands out in my memory.
We were both Catholics and wanted a church wedding, but my new job wanted me *right now* on the other side of the country so I couldn't get a ceremony scheduled, nor had Barb's annulment come through. So in my front yard by a female Unitarian minister / police sergeant. It was surprisingly effective.
@@rangefinderz5135 Yes, we were re-married in the Church. Don't assume.
@@rangefinderz5135 He's one of those Catholics who is opposed to the teachings of the Church (despite being adequately ignorant of them not to know the term "convalidated" even after allegedly going through the process himself), but can't bring themselves to completely walk away because something deep inside cautions him that it's true.
Unless the Catholics get an annulment. Mine did and both returned to the CC. I thought it was nuts. Twenty years and five kids, annulled? I'm just Christian.
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) I found this very funny. Thanks guys! Love your videos
Same here!
Same.
ditto
Repent
@@marshalvladimir8859 I do, daily. We all should.
Latin, Guilt, and Booze... two out of three ain't bad. But as a former Baptist I make up for it by feeling guilty about not drinking with my cradle Catholic friends.
Yes, I was happy growing up as a Catholic. Fun parties, Christmas presents, Easter dresses, smoking and drinking and no guilt!
"Whenever you find four Catholics together, you'll probably find a fifth."
.
Someone once told me that you can relate to them like bras: the Catholics hold the masses, the Salvation Army help lift the fallen, the Presbyterian keep them staunch and upright and the Baptist make a mountain out of molehill! 🤣
@@leilettesartoga7276 I think most people just group them under "Mormon", don't they?
Sounds like the Baptist church is the one for me🤩👀
And the Unitarians go braless, trusting that God will support everything in the end.
As a Lutheran, I absolutely approve this message.
as of12/26/2022, 18k Mormons liked this video. We like humor and are okay with ourselves for stuff like this.
I love how the running joke is the non-denom' folks are really just baptists. Another comedian said you're not fooling anyone. We know you're just baptists with a cooler website.
I mean. I’m a non denominational and you’re not wrong.
It’s more of a reality than a joke, but it is really fun to tell them that. They also have drinking which is nice...
I grew up in a non denom church but they were really just Open Brethern 😂😂😂
A guest pastor at a local non-denominational megachurch recently remarked to the congregation: "Non-denominational. You know, that just means Pentecostal without the dress code".
I think Jon Crist said the “cooler website” line too funny
OK but when he said "Latin, guilt, and booze" I heard it as "Latin, _gilt,_ and booze" and honestly that works just as well
lots of bling, for sure
I heard that too!!
I grew up going to a Nazarene church, my grandfather was the pastor. What I remember is that every week I would learn all the "Thou shalt not do" and that I will be going straight to hell if I smoked cigarettes. But the potlucks after church were amazing.
I never understood how the Nazarene church is so opposed to drinking alcohol when Christ Himself made MORE wine at the wedding. He could have made ANYTHING, including things they never had before like ice cream.
Jesus wasn't a Nazarene.
Nazarene means you're following in the footsteps of John the Baptist and Samson.
So drinking alcohol, cutting your hair etc. are violations of the standards of Holiness you've opted to follow.
But I don't know why there's a Nazarene Church. As I understand it, being a Nazarene was in a similar category as being a prophet in the OT. Something you only do if God explicitly calls you to it. They were filled with the Holy Spirit from a very young age etc (in the womb in John the Baptists case).
So I'd venture to say most members of the Nazarene church aren't called by God.
Actually the true translation of that story in the Gospels is, "Jesus changed the water into Welch's Grape Juice."
@@harryirish Haha... I am Christian, and I believe the Bible is very clear that drinking to EXCESS (being a drunkard) is the sin, not merely drinking alcohol. When Christ, Himself, makes it at a wedding, that's a pretty good indicator. Plus, King Solomon talks about being a drunkard in Proverbs, making a pretty good argument for enjoying things in moderation.
@@Susurro The "Apostolic Pentecostals" do the same in my area. They wear long sleeves, no shorts, pants on men, full skirts on women, no makeup, no swim suits, women cant cut their hair. They also can't be friends in public with anyone out side their church unless they are trying to lure them in. They have 3 months to do so then they can't be seen with you anymore mega especially if you are a Catholic. Not a cult at all though.
As a Mormon, I thoroughly enjoyed this!
They let you guys online now?
@@kcirtapecreip4155 What are you talking about?
@@nathanielscreativecollecti6392 I remember a time when the internet was off limits to the Mormons ,or am I mixing them up with the other one again. I used to care about confusing them. That was a long time ago. They are both cults and everyone in them knows it. I think they just want to be in the out crowd. some folks enjoy that.
@@kcirtapecreip4155 You've commented this twice (so far) on posts like this. I'm beginning to doubt that you actually believe Mormons can't be on the internet.
@@kcirtapecreip4155 You're mixing it up, possibly with the creepy splinter faction that the rest of us have nothing to do with. = )
I’m a Baptist, and your description of Baptists had me cracking up the most! 😂
He missed out our love of potlucks, Might just be a southern Baptist thing tho
@@Goofiest_goober838 I’m southern-ish, Missouri. We informally use the term “potluck” to occasionally describe “fellowship dinners” 😏
My favorite is the "they're really undercover baptists" one. :P
Overweight from food at fellowship gatherings comes to mind. But gluttony is not a sin if you're a Baptist. I'm one
I wouldn't mind some fife and drum with my Battle Hymn of the Republic.
I wish this was like three hours longer.
It would take that to cover them all.
@@kcirtapecreip4155 Haha! I agree, pretty sure there are over 100 variants of Baptist alone!
@@jdougn2255 Right? that would be a good one in and of itself. or a satirical history of the conception of some; or from conception to contemporary of any of the denominations in general.
Organized Christianity for the largest part is a joke. I'd call myself a baptist if it meant something personally. but what do you do? start your own religion, lol....inst that how we got here in the first place, lol
Babylon Bee: The Movie!?!
I was a Baptist however now I consider myself as Catholic although I am not confirmed yet. We attended mass every sunday and we are currently in the process of starting RCIA classes starting next month so we can be a confirmed Catholic. I am thankful to the lord for using our oldest child to show us the true way to you our lord 🙌🙏👑 and ✝️ savior.
👍
As a Catholic I found this both educational and hilarious. Time to go drink some booze and feel shame...but not about drinking the booze...
Amen brother!
About not being current on your Latin?
@@alanc1491 I don't need to know Latin, we have educated priests to read and translate it for us. We don't even need to read English scripture-I've taken all my family's Bibles to our storage unit. Took up too much space.
@@alanc1491 That's what I'm feeling guilty about.
Catholics are lukcy. Us Jews only get to feel the shame. We aren't that big into booze
Lutheran: When Catholics seem too uptight for you.
Don't you mean when Catholics don't seem uptight enough? I was raised Lutheran and thought the Catholics were the "cool kids". 😆🤣😉
@@brett4264 Perhaps. Though they are the ones who think they need to give up meat for Lent. Give up something else instead. Like buying useless crap online or something like that.
Lutheran: when you want potluck and weak coffee to go with your sunday gossip fest...don't forget to grab a cookie
Spaghetti suppers vs. Oktoberfest, is it really a contest?
@@brett4264 when you have to follow one set of rules, others will always look lax
I keep wondering when Babylon Bee will get back to satire. This was pretty much accurate.
Satire is only satire when true.
My grandparents attended a Finnish Lutheran church (in the U.S.). They would take me with them when I was a child, and while I didn’t understand the language, the warm pastries after the service were so unbelievably good!
I had an exchange semester in Finland and I attended a Lutheran church during that time. It was pretty small and mostly foreigners. But I had a nice time there. In the beginning I thought they were Catholics because they said one of the Christian creeds and there the word catholic was used. Only after I asked did I find out that this was not the denomination Catholic but it was meant as universal as in all Christians.
A Finnish Lutheran church in the United States? Ooo, enough Finnish people migrated from Finland to the US and in one area to fill a church? Amazing!
Actually, I'm just surprised some people from Northern Europe are still Christian! Lol
Was it in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan?
@@GeoffreyGentryMusic : No, it was in Eureka, CA. (Far Northern CA, about an hour below the Oregon border. Lots of Finnish loggers and fishermen lived in that area at one time, generally along the coast, in various towns between No. CA and Seattle.) My GPs immigrated from Western Finland to Northern MN, to an area called the Iron Range, and eventually relocated to No. CA because my GF decided that working as a logger was better than working in the mines. Unfortunately, he made that decision too late, and died of lung cancer, despite never having smoked, at age 56. I assume it was because of the mines….
@@leeb.7188 Gotcha. Sorry to hear about your grandfather. I don't envy his situation whatsoever. But I didn't know that Northern California had a Finnish population! Thanks for sharing.
What’s the difference between a Baptist & a Catholic? The Catholic will say Hi to you in the liquor store🤣😂🤣 - former Baptist now Catholic
I think you're right, but I'd have to know where the quotation marks belong.
Yay!
Lol!!
And the difference between a Babtist and a Lutheran? The Lutheran says "Hi" when he runs into his pastor at the liquor stare.
Welcome to the family sister... Dominus vobiscum
Ouch, as someone who was born a Methodist, that part about Methodists and traditional marriage hurts. Because it's completely true.
It's sad. At one time there were many faithful and Biblical Christians in the Methodist and Wesleyan tradition. It is never good to compromise with the world. Jesus saved me out of this sin. The church must preach the truth in order to love sinners. There is freedom when we surrender our lives to Christ and let go of our sins and idols.
@@cheerfulturtlegirl To think, that Methodism was started because they thought the Church of England had turned into a church of "casual Christianity" and wasn't taking true Christianity and proper doctrine seriously and reverently enough. It has become the very thing it was created to be in retaliation against. I read some about the origins of Methodism in a book about William Wilberforce and wow, the reasons for its origin and Methodism as it is in the West today could not be more blatantly opposed to each other.
It may be a regional thing, but in the South you can find Methodist churches that still consider marriage "man and woman only" and will not ordain LGB pastors, to the point that they talk separation from the main body. What they'll call themselves, and how they'll detangle property ownership and such from the greater Methodist church I don't know, but talks are being had.
Not that I'm saying I support or oppose division, just that "Methodists universally embrace gay marriage" isn't as cut and dry as the video implies. (I'd have made a joke instead along the lines of "Methodist - the only major denomination to embrace gays... maybe... someday... or not... we're still talking about it. Don't tell non-American methodists though!")
@@DJBabb The denomination is being split, and each individual church votes as a congregation as to whether they want to split off or stay. Those that split off do all the LGBTQ stuff. Those that stay reject it. So officially, Methodism rejects gay marriage and all that. At least for the UMC
@@dudeinadoughboy4327 I'm part of a UMC and we are literally voting to leave tonight.
You have it in reverse. The UMC affirms LGBTQ and the ones leaving are the ones who do not affirm it.
"They're undercover Baptists" had me rolling. I went to a "non-denominational" church that was outed as belonging to the SBC. About half the congregation was very upset when they found out and the other half didn't really care.
Been there. Don't like when my church isn't being honest with me.
yikes. yea, They aren't non-denoms when they are officially belong to a denomination.
The part that made me LOL with your story is that half the congregation was all like, "meh, whatever, let's keep rollin' with this,".
I’ve gone to a mix of non denominational and baptist churches all my life and I really can’t tell the difference. Just as long as they’ve got electric guitars and drums, I don’t care one bit what they’re “officially” labeled as.
SBC is evil i think. it's got bad blood in it's history..... think KKK. I'm not joking.
How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb.
Zero, only God can change lightbulbs.
How many Arminians does it take to change in a lightbulb.
Zero, the lightbulb has to change of its own free will.
"We'll even take the Mormons over these guys."
100%!
Total Sarcasm!
What the heck is wrong with you.
@@amyrite5176 I'm not the one who wrote the joke.
It’s funny, because it’s true. 😂😂
Calvinist’s - I was predestined to write this.
Presbyterian - for those who like to form a committee to appoint members to a study committee on the proper biblical way to conduct committees.
That's the People's front of Judea.
@@fredkilner2299 Don't you mean the People's Front of Judea?
Reformed Baptists and Reformed Presbyterians all affirm to Calvinism, consistent to the Scripture while there are Evangelical Baptist and Evangelical Presbyterians mixed with Penticostalism, NAR and Charismatics who are all Armenians or Remonstrants...
The Amish and the Mennonites. You really miss a chance on making fun of a people who could never know you did it.
That only applies to some Amish. I had a computer science professor in college over 30 years ago who was Mennonite.
Baptist here! But “Independent “ Baptist which means Bible is final authority on all matters. That’s what I love about it. It’s not anyone’s opinion or tradition, just preach Jesus by grace through faith ❤
Really funny video btw 😂
"Sola Scriptura"
The Bible being the final authority on all matters is quite literally what every Protestant believes. That isn't exclusive to "Independent" Baptists.
@@JeP-lz4ti Take a poll in any main stream church in America and the majority of the responses will be that you can't believe everything in the Bible. Start a discussion on the accuracy of the Bible and within minutes someone will say, " I don't really think Jesus meant it when he said...fill in the blanks of the particular sin the speaker is quite fond of."
@@jackfanning7952 That just simply isn't even true.
@@JeP-lz4ti True, unfortunately.
I'm Catholic but i respect and love all my christian brothers and sisters! ❤
Kirkland brand had me cracking up.
I've never had a poor quality Kirkland brand product, so that was high praise.
Me too 😂😂😂💕
Yeah, should have gone with Great Value brand
Full-hearted Catholic here from Germany, so with nearly 30 years of lutheran cooperation experience and 10 years in the baptist field and Calvary Chapel. I love this video. Its on point
I attended a Calvary Chapel for many years. A quip I heard from a Baptist while I was attending a CC, "Calvary Chapel isn't a denomination: it's a franchise." 😄
What do you think about the baptists?
@@uganda_mn397 i owe them. They showed me how a thriving parish looks like and how it looks like when everybody is helping everybody. BUT they error in their beliefs. Child baptism is valid. Jesus did not spoke symbolically when he said he is the bread of life AND they simply aren't built on Peter, thus, they aren't the one Church instituted by Christ. They don't believe in purgatory, so they lack sth here. They think they know the Bible but they read it so selectively that they know what affirms their believes, not the whole truth. The Roman Catholic Church is founded on Peter and is the Church instituted by Christ and thus, holds the whole truth.
@@danielalovejesus7912 ok, i understand, well, i don't want to call myself anything specific but my beliefs align with baptist theology the most.
since you mentioned child baptism, i hope i can pose a friendly challenge. As my view is, baptism symbolises repentance which a child cannot have, so i wonder what you think about that
@@danielalovejesus7912 aren't you from slovakia?
Then you've got the Presbyterians, "the Frozen Chosen." They say the best place to have a heart attack is at a Presbyterian service, because half the people there are doctors.
Suppose to be the church of the wealthiest community members
😂 I’m a Mormon, and I got a crack out of your jokes. Lol I am glad that even though technically we aren’t Christian according to the Traditional Creeds that you would still choose us over the Unitarians. So you’re telling me there is a chance! 👍
Biblical Christianity is the truth. I love y'all, but we need to be rooted in the Bible.
We are, we use the Bible just as much as our other scriptures. Also remember, Christ came not to establish a Bible, but his church. We are just as much of the body of Christ as any other denomination.
We are Christian though... We belive in Christ
@@AirsickLowlander777 unitarians would say something similar. Satanists might, also.
@@mowgli2071 Let me clarify. My church is entirely centered around Christ. Not Satan. Our views are very similar to most Chirstian churches. Only someone who knows nothing about my religion would say something so incorrect
AG, When you're not quite ready to go *full* pentecostal.
Very funny! My brother was dating a Pentecostal girl in high school, and he made me go with him to a Sunday night service. (We were lapsed LDS). It was the most dark and depressing church I had ever been in. I don't think they even spoke in tongues, which at least would have been interesting. Plus they scorched the hot chocolate! That was my only experience with the Pentecostals, and I haven't been back. I think it was just a bad example. Now I'm Episcopal, but thinking of leaving and starting to go to a more bible-based church.
😂🤣😆😄
As a Latter-Day Saint, I fully approve of this.
As a Mormon, I'm stoked we showed up in there like three times 🙌
I don't understand how the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is identified as non Christian religion
@@77gmcnut it's satire. So many evangelicals say we are not Christian because we don't believe the same way they do. I thought it was funny.
@@soneedanap I thought it was funny too. It's just so ironic when The Savior's name is part of "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" name. It's right there!
@@77gmcnut I'm with you
Because we don’t accept creeds that came 400 years after Christ and his apostles. Right, if you don’t believe in the Trinity, you’re a fake Christian. Tell that to Justin Martyr who was a student of Polycarp, who was a student of John the apostle. Justin said Christ was another Lord and God subjected to the Creator in his dialogue with Trypo the Jew. For all you historians, this is before the Counsel of Nicaea.
Member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints here!! I feel honoured you had the least to say about us mormons! LOL! Same treatment world over... and I LOVE it that way! Keep up the great humour Babylon Bee! You guys rock!!
holy cows mormons! just call yourself a mormon.
“Nah I’m just kidding, I said Christian denominations!”
**Sad Mormon Noise**
I’m glad there’s still some YT channels that are Christian, but don’t take things too seriously 🙌🏽
Hahahaha. Nah. We’re used to it.
No......... laughter 😆 from the LDS crowd. 😆
The Babylon Bee was thinking "do we risk upsetting all the protestant viewers by saying Mormons are Christians or do we say they're not and... well they weren't upset about an award winning Broadway musical making fun of them so we'll be fine." And just for the record it's the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but we understand that it doesn't really role off the tongue in a short TH-cam video.
@@jamesgibson1098 they had an article about that recently, Something like "Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saint members wish their church had a name that was easier to say" Lol
The only thing we should take serious is the gospel; living it and sharing it. Humor helps.
Mormon here. I'm just sad you didn't mention Jehovah's Witnesses.
i thought we were talking about Christian denominations
@@mosespayne2248 Yeah, it's not like the Church is named after Him or anything...
@@mosespayne2248 JW's believe they are more Christian that actual Christians.
@@caribbeanbound8357 and yet...
@@tomkerruish2982 true
With all the church hoppin' I've done, i feel All-Denominational.
You'll win over all the lefty clowns when you tell them you're actually "Trans"- Denominational. Denomination Fluid as it were.
How about Omni-denominational. Sounds more futuristic and high tech. :P
Transdenominational.
But Omni sounds way cooler
I grew up Pentecostal and the part about it being like a rave is so true. My mom used to dance in the spirit until her hair bun came down.
The Joy we feel from our beards is what keeps away the Crushing dread of existentialism that is our faith.
Maybe I had to be born into it to experience what you have, but as an adult convert to Orthodoxy, I have no idea what you mean by that. :P
@@xandyrwlkyr2563 the fact that many monks have compared the faith to sitting really close to a cliff and only taking a step back for a moment when you are about to fall.
Edit: the monks saying is based on something Jesus said but it seems to be more core to orthodoxy than most.
@@xandyrwlkyr2563 Convert here, too. And I don't understand the comment, either. I'm just thankful for the beauty of Orthodoxy.
@@vasilistheocharis164 Ever since I converted, I have become infinitely more peaceful while also more and more aware of my failings. Thankfully, the knowledge didn't come all at once! I guess since I came into the faith after searching just about everywhere else (and in my fifth decade) the precipice concept feels reassuring. I'm glad to know it is right there. The only thing that has been really difficult is that none of my family nor previous friends are Orthodox.
😂😂💕
Very fun. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I love the satire, Besides, we got mentioned, what three times? Keep up the fun.
Let's shoot for 4 next time.
@Jacob Visser . I am grateful for a place where divergent opinions can be shared in a respectful way. Have a pleasant day
Our main difference is that LDS believe that they will one day be on an equal footing with YHWH because he started out just like us and worked his way into God-hood.
Christians believes that He is uncreated and the originator of all life. We could NEVER be equal to YHWH. He is God above gods.
This is our fundamental difference with Mormons.
@@rightsidecrossrev Thank you for the courteous difference of opinion.
While we do believe that the Christ is a son of God, we also know that He will forever be our Lord and exceed in glory and perfection.
Have a terrific day.
@@rightsidecrossrev your concern stems from a misunderstanding. We will ALWAYS worship our Heavenly Father, but His ability to grow is not stopped by our progression. To assume Heavenly Father is incapable of further personal growth (though it may be beyond our mortal minds to truly understand), is to place limits on our Heavenly Father, and in a sense come to the conclusion that all progression “ends” and we will all “finish” someday. To deny Eternal Progression would, by logic, require us to all end-up on the same “equal footing”, to use your term.
As a practicing Roman Catholic, Latin, Guilt and beer? Yep. We've been drinking beer (beir in Latin) for two thousand years. And feeling guilty about it, 12 to 40 ounces at a time.
And twice on Sunday.
Only feeling guilty while the hangover lasts lol... ;)
You should be drinking wine because, "beer is made by man, but wine is made by God" - Martin Luther (the German one) 😉
And yes, Catholic Christians do believe that drunkenness is a sin for any Protestants sifting through the comments (incl. non-denominationals who were nominally Catholic)
I'm a Latter-day Saint (mormon), I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior, and I strive to live my life in accordance with his teachings.
I absolutely consider myself Christian.
As long as you follow Galatians 1:8 then I also consider you a Christian.
The Mormon church teaches a different gospel so if you hold to the official doctrine of the Mormon church then you are not a Christian, no matter if you consider yourself to be one or not.
Mormons aren’t Christians convert to Eastern Orthodoxy the faith that Christ created.
Yes. At the end of the day it's about whether you know and obey Him as your Lord and Saviour and nothing else, as He made plain.
I’m Mormon and I’m offended I wasn’t included on your list that makes fun of people like me 😂
That my friends is a VERY Mormon response. Lol
Indeed
@@Rocketninja200 I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And i'm upset that they didn't even mention us by name, let alone make fun of us.
Since Mormons are OBSESSED with family trees ... I'd call you "the GERMANS of christianity" ... overdoing things that only make sense if you use moderation and KNOW WHEN TO STOP!
thanks for the 3 shout outs to "mormons" - so much there to 'love on'...you missed out!
“Undercover Baptists” is too accurate.
Mix a few of the modernized hymns into the normal mix of songs and call it good!
Wildly offensive in such a fun and wholesome way. Five Stars.
I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (sometimes called Mormons) and I loved the video. Babylon Bee has some great stuff. They are hilarious and so true... well... satirically speaking of course.
Catholic here. Pretty much
“I’m Catholic. Alcohol is part of my religion “
I'm not, but I'll drink to the sentiment.
Christianity has been taking a massive beating might as well high five the bee as it turns far left at this point and flips off Christianity repeatedly when there’s 9 million other major issues taking place in the world
@@rinceradio I am a Catholic so do not know what the Bible is since it is chained to the alter, however, wasn't Jesus's first miracle turning water into wine and it wasn't the cheap boxed wine either or so I am told. Something is tickling my mind about the last supper too. Something about take this and drink it?? Peace, brother.
@@walterneta3679 The wine he made not only was enough such that the guests never ran out. It was far higher quality than the wine the party.
@@geoffwaters8786 I agree Christianity is often a punching bag for many people but the Bee seems to be able to laugh at themselves too, most people who work at the Bee are Christian.
Catholic: Latin, booze, and guilt
Southern Baptist: English, booze, and white guilt
white guilt is the world's religion. No Christianity has that because we are all hues (human) that descended from Adam.
Episcopalians: Elizabethan English, martinis, and transferring "white guilt" to Southern Baptists
I’m LDS…(Mormon)… y’all make me smile and laugh.
There's a three letter abbreviation for the Church of Jesus H Christ of Latter Day Saints!? Can't call 'em COJHCOLDS anymore...
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I really wish there was a shorter way to say "member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints."
@@andrewmcguinness1845 Umm, we just updated that, remember? Member of the Church of Jesus Christ. Tada! Sooo much easier😂
@@andrewmcguinness1845 You could express your religious conviction as a Haiku:
I am a member
of the Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter Day Saints.
@Andrew, LMAO!
Mary and other Saint loving Catholic here! Though I'm not with the alcohol culture. Keep up the good work!
Catholic here too. The saddest thing is that the "alcohol culture" stereotype comes from the protestant mockery of the sacramental consecration of the bread and wine, for them that's no real Jesus presence but an excuse for the priest to "drink" wine instead. Kinda blasphemous scoffing too.
Alcohol is a gift from God, drunkenness and debauchery is a sin. Not sure what the protestants are confused on
As a Baptist 22 yr old male church secretary who hosts dnd on Fridays and enjoy our contemporary worship band I find this hilarious.
I’m a mormon aka (member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), and I about died laughing when he covered my denomination. If you ask us, yes we believe in Christ, but also if you ask us we don’t believe most of the Nicene creed, which is the general test for whether a denomination is Christian or not.
Lol yall are pagans
I'd say that picking up a new prophet is the point of divergence, actually.
Mormons are not considered Christian by any other denomination because of the additional literature and totally different view of Salvation and Christ that is not Biblical
the Nicene Creed is pagan as well. It doesn't line up with the bible past the first 3/4. A little leaven leavens the whole lump. Most of "Christianity" is pagan.... Get used to it or get real. I bet the Church of Christ would love it if it only would admit to their teaching that there was no church for ages..... They are the church, lol. Baptismal regeneration isn't a new Idea guys. It's a catholic one.
OK so that's why those dirty heretical pigs hate us.
This video has done nothing but reaffirm my belief in the supremacy of the Catholic Faith.
Same haha 1500 long run. Haha
I suppose that when Jesus comes again in Glory, He'll appreciate the courtesy of only having to clean up one Church, rather than thousands.
@@seandegidon4672 You poor delusional soul he sent Peter to start the church in Rome are you suggesting Jesus was wrong???
@@rabbitphobia By no means! Jesus founded His One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church on the Apostles, with Peter at their head. He also knew human nature well enough to expect plenty of mess from His sinless Bride's sinful members, no less in Rome than Jerusalem. (cf. John 2:13-25)
@@seandegidon4672 I'm in total agreement with this comment... I honestly believe Satan has infiltrated our church (it's the one that counts most) We the true followers will help clean it all up. That's why I go to Latin mass they just do things better. In your first comment, I thought you were having a dig at Catholicism... my bad.
God bless you and may he send Arch Angel Michael to you if ever needed.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Hebrews 12
New King James Version
The Race of Faith
12 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
"You really need to distinguish between Confessional Lutheran, "all the boring parts of Catholicism without the Pope", and Non-Confessional Lutheran "All that old Lutheran stuff, minus the stuff we didn't like, plus some new stuff we made up last week."
I am Pentecostal... and I laughed a lot. Thought you were gonna be harder on us for some reason. God Bless you guys.
Yep got out of that pretty unscathed
same here, and was surprised to not find other pentecostals in the comments when i went looking
Penticostals and Charismatics have been shipped to Asian and Africa embroiled with prosperity Gospel and outright denying of the infallibility, authority and sufficiency of the Bible
@Alexis A a lot of alcoholic catholics however
How does one ask a room of Pentecostals if they want a drink? Hands down anyone who's thirsty.
I always tell people I am a recovering Catholic. I did two stints in rehab and still feel guilty for trying to stop feeling guilty.
What do Catholics feel guilty for? Burning Protestants at the stake for trying to teach them how to read? xD
Imagine the kind of person you would be or the evil things you would have done in your life if you had no guilt. Guilt is not a useless emotion
Its funny, I know a lady who was raised Catholic, Ive seen her talking to the catholic chaplain at our work, Ive seen her with the little charcoal cross on her forehead too (didnt know about it before) but when we talk about spiritual things, she always says "she doesnt believe in all that God nonsense"
- is that the famous catholic guilt Im always hearing about?
Wouldn't coming up with an original thought be more interesting than beating the dead horse that is that line?
Jehovah's Witnesses, always love their talks.
This was too funny. My extended family includes Methodists, Baptists, Jehovah Witnesses, Roman Catholics, Greek Orthodox, and Jewish. Needless to say religion is a rare topic at family reunions. Lol!
Instant fight starter;
"So how 'bout that Ecumenical Council."
Here I am a former Hebrew Roots divided between Baptist and Eastern Orthodox with an atheist brother and a Hebrew Roots uncle and a trans cousin.
How much disagreement about religion is there between the Methodists, Baptists, Catholics, and Orthodox that would get argued about? (I know where some major differences with the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Jewish faiths lie.)
@@segevstormlord3713 Baptists run down Catholics all the time. Catholics and Pentecostals.
What about politics?
Q: why don’t baptists “do it” standing up?
A: could lead to dancing
Awesome 😎
Missed the seventh day Adventists
As a full-fledged, card-carrying Campbellite, I heartily concur with this video....if you'd just get rid of the mechanical music at the end---LOL. We would do well to realize that we're actually all on the same side since 2/3 of the world is trying to kill us and 1/3 of our own country wouldn't mind if they did!!! Thanks Bee
amen Brother. AMEN.
Calvary Chapel, the church for all those kids that couldn't stand hanging out with the 60+ crowd are now the 60+ crowd. 😁
Calvary chapel guy here... I think your description is a lot more accurate when actually in California or Hawaii.
Other calvary chapel person here, and I agree with you. 🤣🤣🤣
@@miffedcuttlefish6139 The pastor in San Jose gets into politics as if the media is corrupted and USA is being corrupted into a totalitarian communist country. If that were true corrupt propaganda media would report it was just propaganda of course. th-cam.com/users/calvarysanjose
@@fredkilner2299 I would say that there is some truth to it, since media tends to be "ratings" focused rather than reporting on the news. There is authoritarianism out there for the "left" and the "right" and there is the current generation blaming woes on capitalism and claiming that communism is the way to go without actually understanding what it is they are asking for.
I'm a catholic and i can't stop laughing.
You guys are awesome ❤️👍.
Keep it up 😂🤣.
As a former Seventh-day Adventist now Orthodox Christian, I wholeheartedly concur with the description you gave Orthodox Christianity. In fact, it was the beards that sealed it for me.
Quite a shift in doctrine. I’m curious to know what inspired that
@@louisgazor9422 Long and short of the story is basically that I came to believe the Seventh-day Adventist (SDA) understanding of the Law (Torah), the Ten Commandments, the Sabbath, and their relation to the ancient Old Testament and New Testament understanding of those things was incorrect. Basically, the SDA understanding sees a bifurcation between the Ten Commandments and the rest of the Torah with the Sabbath commandment in particular having a special significance, while the Old Testament and the New Testament sees no bifurcation between the Ten Commandments and the rest of the Torah, simply referring to it as a whole, i.e. "the Law", in the Old Testament and "the Law and the Prophets" in the New Testament with a special significance being placed on circumcision rather than the Sabbath as such. The reason why circumcision was the pivotal point of contention in Acts 15 was because it was what made a man an Israelite, along with the observance of the Passover. When one became an Israelite they were then bound by the covenant God made with Israel, and that covenant involved the observance of the commandments of the Torah, which included the Ten Commandments of course, but everything else as well. I found that when I acquired this understanding that the writings of St. Paul in his epistles like Galatians read very differently from how I had read them before from the traditional SDA perspective. With this issue, along with having an issue with how the Holy Trinity is understood in Adventism, I soon left the denomination since I couldn't remain there knowing what I knew, and I began to read the ancient Jewish and Christian writings. I found that they too had this same understanding of the Torah and the Ten Commandments, that it was treated as a whole and not bifuracted like it was in Adventism. I also learned that the early Christian Church believed and practiced many other things that were not "Adventist" in nature like worshipping liturgically, celebrating the Holy Eucharist, conducting paedobaptism, having a strong sense of hierarchy with Bishops, Presbyters/Priests, and Deacons, catholicity, a Creed, the Holy Trinity, etc. I searched for a Church today that still lives, believes, and practices the same faith I was reading about in these earliest of sources and it came down ultimately between Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy. In the end, I went Orthodox believing it was a more accurate representation of what I was reading about regarding the early Church of the first millennium.
@@justanotherlikeyou I understand your change in mind, and I respect it! However, I do consider myself to be somewhat aligned with SDA doctrine, coming from an Orthodox background. The position of the Protestants only made more sense to me than much of the tradition and hierarchy that exists in the Roman Catholic and Orthodox churches. But I do believe that no creed, doctrine, or position can separate us from the love of God, so that is why I feel connection when I hear other’s perspectives on theology. Blessings to you!
I’m guessing, you have no problem with eight out of ten of the Commandments? Bowing down to graven images and keeping the Sabbath are gone, but adultery, murder, lying, etc., are still sin?
In Matthew, Jesus is referring to the Ten Commandments, not the entire Old Testament. He magnified the Law. He did not do away with it.
Matthew 5:17-22
“Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. 18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. 19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach [them], the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. 21 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.”
John defines sin as the transgression of that Law.
1 John 3:4
“Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.”
The Babylon Bee hit on one of my biggest pet peeves: people who say Calvary when they mean cavalry. Same people still saying libary and Febuary.
And don't forget "nucular" (nuclear), "relator" (realtor) and "jewlary" (jewelry).
As a convert to Catholicism, the booze factor is real. After RCIA, a couple of the instructors would invite us to tag along with them to the bar, where we'd talk theology until what we were saying stopped making sense.
@@rinceradio Yes, because Christ was a teetotaler. Imagine making a serious comment on a satire video.
You must be a Lutheran.
In a similar venue, I surprised a Polish Dominican when I could discuss the details of the Filioque controversy after several drinks. The only drink I can't take is gin...probably because it's English! (Not a universally Catholic bug, just an Irish one.)
@@FourEyedFrenchman I am a Lutheran and Lutherans can outdrink Catholics.
Welcome to the family brother/sister...🤗
Welcome indeed.
Lol if you laugh at each except the one about your own denomination…it’s probably because it’s true 😂😂😂
I laughed at both of mine!
But they didn't make a joke about Mormons, just left us out as usual.
I didn't laugh at mine because they're two main branches of Lutherans or at least from what I've read and I can't tell which branch they're talking about, either way it was pretty accurate, which is why I laughed at the second watch through.
😂😂💕 true! Laughter at everyone else, then pout at yours!
@@mitchjohnson4714 yes they did, they said you're not real Christians, but since they're forced to accept the UU as Christians then they have no choice but to accept mormons too
As a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints (Mormon for those who don't know the real name) I am thankful you at least thought of us
It’s because they really know we are Christian but they don’t want to admit it
The Calvinists were predestined to be left out
(Actually, didn't Calvinism break apart into most of the denominations shown here, or am I misremembering my... Medieval History class tangeant?