So I’m writing a short story about PTSD in children and was hoping to get some feedback and critique? Like am I doing it... okay? Is it offensive or not etc... The story starts off with a little boy who’s shown to have a toy horse imaginary friend named tumbleweed who’s his best friend, he’s eat with him and play his favourite game, (cowboys). it turns out that tumbleweed is just his stuffed toy that he holds close but he sees tumbleweed as a walking talking thinking being who’s always by his side. It’s the start of a new school year and the little boy is very nervous to go back to school so he keeps his friend close by, he’s shy and doesn’t interact much with other students but a group of kids take interest in him and invite him to play at recess, at first his imaginary friend tries to stop him from playing with other kids so the little boy is hesitant but he decides to play after the kids suggest playing cowboys, he stuffs tumbleweed in his backpack and head outside. after a little while it seems he’s enjoying himself but then one of the kids trip over the boy’s backpack and the boys stuffed toy is revealed. The kids question the toy and start to poke fun at the boy for still having a stuffed animal for babies, the little boy tries to get his toy back but the other kids push him back, the boy panics, he doesn’t see just his favourite toy being taken away but his imaginary friend calling for help as he’s being tossed around. The little boy snaps and hits the kid and tumble weed falls to the ground, the other kid begins to cry and all the other children start to stare and whisper. The little boy grabs tumbleweed and runs away in a panic. His school day is cut short as the teacher calls in his parents and he’s taken home. The parents worry about their child, sharing glances and such. at night as the boy sleeps with tumbleweed close to him the parents argue about taking him to the doctor now or wait for their already set appointment for next week. The boy sleeps and he begins to get night terrors, flashes of a playground, a car horn is ringing in the background. A little boy running around and tumbleweed getting hit by a car. The little boy gets up with a start and begins to sob loudly alerting the parents who come to comfort him, they both nod and decide that going to the doctor now is probably best. The next day the boy and his parents go to the doctors (therapist). After his session the boy sits in one of the waiting rooms as his parents talk to the doctor. The boy holds on to tumbleweed and tumbleweed reassured him that everything will be okay and he apologizes for getting in the way again. The little boy smiles and tells tumbleweed that he’s still going to be his best friend no matter what. While the little boy talks with his imaginary friend , the parents discuss their worries about sending their child to school again after the events that day. The doctor reveals how for a young boy his age, going through the trauma of seeing his friend die from a car collision is going to take a long time to recover and that it’s best that he continues to interact with normal activities like school if they want things to get better. At this point the audience learns that tumbleweed is the imaginary embodiment of the boy’s best friend who he lost and uses him as a kind of coping method. After the session the parents leave the doctors and they go to the classmates house who the little boy hit. The parents stay for lunch and the little boy apologizes for hitting him. The two begin to get friendly and the other boy even takes interest in tumbleweed and they both start to become friends. The little boy even leaves tumbleweed in his bag when the other boy suggests going to his room to play video games. Epilogue: Fast for award quiet a few years and we see the little boy grown up, he’s emptying his room as he packs for college. He’s almost done when he spots tumbleweed sitting by his nightstand, it’s still apparent that after all those years tumbleweed has still been close to the boy even if he stopped seeing him as an imaginary friend or stopped playing with him entirely, he always sat next to his bed stand comforting him. The boy picks up his toy and looks at his suitcase, hesitant on if he should bring him or not. Cut to the car and the boy is loading his luggage, his friend ( the boy he hit when he was young) at the steering wheel waiting to get going. The boy kisses his parents good bye and the two friends head on their way to a new start in their life. The boy’s friend asks is he forgot anything. The boy shakes his head and says he’s set, cut to the packed luggage in the back and we see a little stuffed arm poking out from the side.
To me, as someone who has done independent reserch and had PTSD as a child I have to say this doesn't sound quite right. It seems to me like the little boy has schizophrenia. Often times this comes with secondary symptoms such as anxiety, and depression. It would make sense if he developed PTSD but only after a while. I doubt he would get a nightmare the night of the trauma, if he slept at all. I can get the PTSD from the parents fighting and the situation with Tumbleweed but overall it doesnt seem like he would get any severe symptoms. Of course I'm not a medical professional, my expirience is my own.
Sarah Gallagher thanks for the insight! If you’d like you can check out my final story, it’s a webcomic. A lot of changes has been made and I reached out to many individuals to try and get it right but hopefully I can learn and grow from the mistakes www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/tumbleweed-h/list?title_no=437489
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
So I’m writing a short story about PTSD in children and was hoping to get some feedback and critique? Like am I doing it... okay? Is it offensive or not etc...
The story starts off with a little boy who’s shown to have a toy horse imaginary friend named tumbleweed who’s his best friend, he’s eat with him and play his favourite game, (cowboys). it turns out that tumbleweed is just his stuffed toy that he holds close but he sees tumbleweed as a walking talking thinking being who’s always by his side. It’s the start of a new school year and the little boy is very nervous to go back to school so he keeps his friend close by, he’s shy and doesn’t interact much with other students but a group of kids take interest in him and invite him to play at recess, at first his imaginary friend tries to stop him from playing with other kids so the little boy is hesitant but he decides to play after the kids suggest playing cowboys, he stuffs tumbleweed in his backpack and head outside. after a little while it seems he’s enjoying himself but then one of the kids trip over the boy’s backpack and the boys stuffed toy is revealed. The kids question the toy and start to poke fun at the boy for still having a stuffed animal for babies, the little boy tries to get his toy back but the other kids push him back, the boy panics, he doesn’t see just his favourite toy being taken away but his imaginary friend calling for help as he’s being tossed around. The little boy snaps and hits the kid and tumble weed falls to the ground, the other kid begins to cry and all the other children start to stare and whisper. The little boy grabs tumbleweed and runs away in a panic. His school day is cut short as the teacher calls in his parents and he’s taken home. The parents worry about their child, sharing glances and such. at night as the boy sleeps with tumbleweed close to him the parents argue about taking him to the doctor now or wait for their already set appointment for next week. The boy sleeps and he begins to get night terrors, flashes of a playground, a car horn is ringing in the background. A little boy running around and tumbleweed getting hit by a car. The little boy gets up with a start and begins to sob loudly alerting the parents who come to comfort him, they both nod and decide that going to the doctor now is probably best. The next day the boy and his parents go to the doctors (therapist). After his session the boy sits in one of the waiting rooms as his parents talk to the doctor. The boy holds on to tumbleweed and tumbleweed reassured him that everything will be okay and he apologizes for getting in the way again. The little boy smiles and tells tumbleweed that he’s still going to be his best friend no matter what. While the little boy talks with his imaginary friend , the parents discuss their worries about sending their child to school again after the events that day. The doctor reveals how for a young boy his age, going through the trauma of seeing his friend die from a car collision is going to take a long time to recover and that it’s best that he continues to interact with normal activities like school if they want things to get better. At this point the audience learns that tumbleweed is the imaginary embodiment of the boy’s best friend who he lost and uses him as a kind of coping method. After the session the parents leave the doctors and they go to the classmates house who the little boy hit. The parents stay for lunch and the little boy apologizes for hitting him. The two begin to get friendly and the other boy even takes interest in tumbleweed and they both start to become friends. The little boy even leaves tumbleweed in his bag when the other boy suggests going to his room to play video games.
Epilogue:
Fast for award quiet a few years and we see the little boy grown up, he’s emptying his room as he packs for college. He’s almost done when he spots tumbleweed sitting by his nightstand, it’s still apparent that after all those years tumbleweed has still been close to the boy even if he stopped seeing him as an imaginary friend or stopped playing with him entirely, he always sat next to his bed stand comforting him. The boy picks up his toy and looks at his suitcase, hesitant on if he should bring him or not. Cut to the car and the boy is loading his luggage, his friend ( the boy he hit when he was young) at the steering wheel waiting to get going. The boy kisses his parents good bye and the two friends head on their way to a new start in their life. The boy’s friend asks is he forgot anything. The boy shakes his head and says he’s set, cut to the packed luggage in the back and we see a little stuffed arm poking out from the side.
To me, as someone who has done independent reserch and had PTSD as a child I have to say this doesn't sound quite right. It seems to me like the little boy has schizophrenia. Often times this comes with secondary symptoms such as anxiety, and depression. It would make sense if he developed PTSD but only after a while. I doubt he would get a nightmare the night of the trauma, if he slept at all. I can get the PTSD from the parents fighting and the situation with Tumbleweed but overall it doesnt seem like he would get any severe symptoms. Of course I'm not a medical professional, my expirience is my own.
Sarah Gallagher thanks for the insight! If you’d like you can check out my final story, it’s a webcomic. A lot of changes has been made and I reached out to many individuals to try and get it right but hopefully I can learn and grow from the mistakes www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/tumbleweed-h/list?title_no=437489