An outstanding remaster, and bonus connections with “An Octoling named Iris”! Including the audio post credit… The voices were really good, & the animation was nice! Superb video Mr. Riot!
The animation is okay. 2:50: This white Inklings looks oddly familiar to me.... mmmm? 6:18: The voice record and the mystery purple octolings will be an interesting lore. Let it cook.
Oh my gosh. This was absolutely fantastic. Woah. I loved every aspect of this. The voice actors here did absolutely incredible. The animation was amazing too. Very nice job putting this all together. I loved it
Oooo a Super a soldier eh? I put money on it it's either Iris or Olive that they're referring to. Regardless, this was an epic remake of one of your old videos, nice job Riot!!
1:01 This music doesn't sound like it's coming from another room because it doesn't sound muffled. It sounds more like unfitting background music for this scene. And why would she check just because she's hearing some random music? I don't understand her personality because her reaction is not very expressive and doesn't say anything. Is he a naughty guy and caught him watching something inappropriate and naughty the other day or is she just bored? She didn't seem bored though so there must be another reason. You could have also made the scene funnier by having her instead of checking on him because she heard some random music, she spotting the N-Zap first and try to surprise him with a playful attack. Not knowing the trigger has a problem, she would accidentally shoot his screen. Then he screams in shock, confesses immediately accidentally by promising he'll never watch (insert inappropriate title) again. Since he thought he was busted, Olive's reaction could be; "Oops... wait... you... AGAIN?!" The rest is for you to decide. That would add a lot more personality and humor. Then she would decide to bring the broken N-Zap to Wendy because she thinks it's too dangerous to keep it any longer. When she accidentally shoots Camilla's face, we could learn that Olive can be distracted sometimes since she let it happen even though she knew the N-Zap was broken. The voices are also too quiet compared to the music and their volume varies too much, plus there's too much mumbling. I mean, if I wasn't wearing headphones, I would have had a hard time understanding what he was saying here. 1:15 The scene in the car is also boring because she comes across as a lifeless doll with her staring eyes and slow blinking that can only move its lips. Give her different expressions, give her some relatable habits that only she has that will make the conversation interesting and varied. Let the camera change perspectives more often, maybe some close-ups of a certain body part that is relevant to the story or the scene. You could have also shown what Wendy was doing during the phone call with Olive so we get a little insight into who she is. You could add some humor by showing her looking clean at first while struggling to unscrew a gun she's trying to fix, then the camera goes back to Olive and we just hear her grunting over the phone and then after she tells her "drive carefully" we hear an explosion over the phone... * then silence with a small yelp * so that the audience and Olive know that she's alive and is sort of okay, so that it seems cute, hilarious and humorous and not like a serious drama. After that Olive smiles awkwardly and hangs up with; "sure... you take care of yourself too". Then we'd love to learn more about Wendy and most importantly see what happened her and would be excited to keep watching. What I also noticed is that you only show their upper bodies and close-ups of their faces. Try to use different camera angles in dynamic situations. Focus on their hands or feet more often as these convey body language. With this you can give subtle clues about how they are feeling. 2:55 I would avoid mixing human voices and voices from the game as it doesn't make sense and can distract everyone from the story, except if they speak different languages. Then it would be easier to emphasize that they speak different languages and don't understand each other. 3:05 I wouldn't add music in this scene, but silence with a gust of wind in the background and her hair physically blown to the side to emphasize more drama. The music in the video sounds sad and conveys the wrong mood. Also, Undertale music is really overused these days to be honest, but that's just my opinion. 3:09 Camilla's body language looks good here, but why would she be smirking in this situation? I thought her expensive phone just broke, but she acts like it's not that important to her. Also, you neglected Olive's expression because she's sitting there so expressionless. Even though Camilla was the main character in this scene, I would give each supporting character in a scene a little expression. It doesn't have to be too much so that Olive won't distract our attention from Camilla. Don't forget that hands are also very expressive. Olive might use her hands to cover her mouth, eyes, or head out of fear. 3:12 I...didn't understand that ...and why was she so easily intimidated? There are no subtle hints about their relationship. Do they know each other or is Camilla known as a troublemaker? 3:34 Also come on, that's too cheesy, like she's talking to a crying little kid who just tripped. She also helped her for no reason? Wasn't she at least hesitant to involve herself in civil courage? Arc played the flawless heroine because she's just a nice person with no personal intentions? She also accompanied Olive despite not knowing her, as if she...had nothing else to do in her life. This makes her a very bland and boring character. Arc also asked Olive why Camilla attacked her, but WHEN she defended Olive, Arc said that she wouldn't let Camilla hurt others because of an accident. So that means Arc saw what happened. Then why would she ask Olive why Camilla attacked her if Arc already saw it? That doesn't make sense. And the next scene is also unnecessary where Olive just told Arc why she attacked her. I mean, we saw it, so there is no need for an explanation of what the audience just saw, as this makes a scene very bland, repetitive and boring. Olive could have answered differently and given the audience a chance to discover subtle clues about her personality. Is she still scared? Does she take responsibility? Does she want to apologize? Maybe she wants to prevent Arc from involving her further because of Olive's personal mishap. She could have responded with something like "I'm fine, it was my fault anyways but thanks" to add a bit of variety on top of that instead of just explaining what we just saw. But again, Arc's question doesn't make sense anyway, as she saw that this was an accident. To make this scene more interesting, Arc could have done something stupid to Camilla to scare her away. Arc thought her tactic worked, but Camilla just got annoyed again and left with the look on her face: "Ugh, not her again." This can give the audience speculation about her reputation. If you want to emphasize that Olive is a kind person, she could have taken Camilla's phone to Wendy to fix it, maybe in case Camilla left it where she dropped it. Make it appear relatable and inspirational. 4:38 Again, there is a lack of relatable character. Why didn't Olive... somehow scold her for not telling her about the broken trigger earlier in the phone call, since she got in trouble because of it? Then we could learn that Wendy can be a little clumsy and forgetful sometimes because she's... overworked, maybe? But then she wouldn't be as peppy but a little more tired with a few little bags under her eyes, or she is clumsy by default. Maybe she didn't get a chance to because of the little explosion accident earlier during the phone call earlier. This could also explain why the N-Zap has a problem too. To visually emphasize her slight clumsiness, she could be completely covered in ink because of the little accident earlier to add more humor. When we first saw her in the phone scene, she was all clean, and NOW she looks like this, and this will explain the audience what happened to her in a subtle and funny way without words. In the part where Olive hears thunder, she decides to quickly return to her car and drive home, but since Wendy is such a good person, she yells, "Wait!" She is holding an undercover umbrella. Olive looks at Wendy awkwardly, thinking about ALL THE THINGS that happened today because of her. Her accident on the phone call, the broken N-Zap, the conflict with Camilla, and now she's standing there holding the undercover umbrella while completely covered in ink. This will emphasize her clumsiness again so we can all remember it and relate to Olive's decision. Olive awkwardly but gratefully declines, thinking that was enough for today, especially because she's afraid that the whole story will repeat itself once she has to give her the undercover umbrella back, and runs off waving her "see ya" while the camera is behind Wendy's head watching Olive running off in the distance and scratching her head in confusion. These are just examples of how the characters can seem more relatable, charming, and lovable. 4:53 This isn't good either. She just stands there, you only see the back of her head, she doesn't move but mumbles quietly while you hear this loud storm in the background. If I understood correctly, she's glad she left as fast as she could. She should actually be gasping for air from running. I would also recommend showing their faces when they speak. 4:58 How did the can move to the left if it CAME from the left? Didn't Iris hide on the left side? Also, you could have focused the camera on Iris' feet for 2 seconds where she hit the can. Then show a top shot when Olive turns her head, switch the camera behind Olive's head while she's still facing that direction and standing still. Now all we can hear is the storm, which adds even more tension. I would then switch the camera to Iris and focus so that Olive is also seen in the background while Iris covers her mouth in shock, afraid of being discovered by Olive. By the way, since this is Splatoon, mammals are extinct, so there can't be any rats. 5:16 Here I would have her kick the can too, because she's upset that she was careless at that point and took it out on the can. Just a little extra 5:24 And again, the voice is too quiet. Olive, Arc, and Wendy have too similar "personalities," which doesn't make them special and different from each other. They're all almost the same. Just nice and friendly with little contrast and dynamics, which is boring because they have very little compelling potential for conflict.
![[SFM/Splatoon] Travel of Universe - Episode 1: Unlanding move](/img/n.gif)
Many thanks for including me as a voice actor on this, it was a ton of fun. I hope you all had fun too
Welcome to the voice acting world!
That green octoling got quick super jump fr.
3:15 Best homicide prevention skills I've seen, now that's impressive. 👍
So nice to see this one. And to see Arc as well was so great. That cute yellow bean! 💛
This looks very good!
2:34 VS. Susie fits very well
An outstanding remaster, and bonus connections with “An Octoling named Iris”! Including the audio post credit… The voices were really good, & the animation was nice! Superb video Mr. Riot!
That was greatly done! Love how Olivia has a voice in this version!
Great video bro, can't wait for the next episode.
This is so Nice! I love how Olive Have a Voice thanks to RudyOctolingVA.
This was really I would like to see a part two but this was amazing love the story
Halo ODST music feels heavy whenever I hear it
2:23 That is why tigger disipline is important.
Thanks Riot for including me as Protest!
The animation is okay.
2:50: This white Inklings looks oddly familiar to me.... mmmm?
6:18: The voice record and the mystery purple octolings will be an interesting lore.
Let it cook.
Oh my gosh. This was absolutely fantastic. Woah. I loved every aspect of this. The voice actors here did absolutely incredible. The animation was amazing too. Very nice job putting this all together. I loved it
Hello again!
Nice name for an Inkling! 😊
Oooo a Super a soldier eh? I put money on it it's either Iris or Olive that they're referring to.
Regardless, this was an epic remake of one of your old videos, nice job Riot!!
3:12 "its always the cute ones"
That "eeth" was so cute
Do I see a good SFM animation that looks like it was put with love and time, that’s a rare sighting
👍👍👍👍👍
Such a great video! I love that my twin sister was there to give Olive a helping hand! Awesome job bro! 💛
Echt ein Meisterwerk. 🎉👏🏻
Nice Video. This Animation Is Splendid ⭐️😉👍
thats why you never hold a gun with your finger on the trigger
Cant wait to see this! Especially since its after my Birthday.
pretty nice model for the character, also we are time travelers fr
0:29 it's curious who this person is
Olive is a great name!
3:16 Me (Police Supervisor Muhammad Zackary Hamada.) : By giving you a fate worst than a splat. 🔫😡
3:20 Danny Williams : 😱 😰
Think you’d be able to do animations to promote the Splatfest Fight Club?
Can I hug your inkling Olive. Because this human is lonely.
1:01 This music doesn't sound like it's coming from another room because it doesn't sound muffled. It sounds more like unfitting background music for this scene. And why would she check just because she's hearing some random music? I don't understand her personality because her reaction is not very expressive and doesn't say anything. Is he a naughty guy and caught him watching something inappropriate and naughty the other day or is she just bored? She didn't seem bored though so there must be another reason. You could have also made the scene funnier by having her instead of checking on him because she heard some random music, she spotting the N-Zap first and try to surprise him with a playful attack. Not knowing the trigger has a problem, she would accidentally shoot his screen. Then he screams in shock, confesses immediately accidentally by promising he'll never watch (insert inappropriate title) again. Since he thought he was busted, Olive's reaction could be; "Oops... wait... you... AGAIN?!" The rest is for you to decide. That would add a lot more personality and humor. Then she would decide to bring the broken N-Zap to Wendy because she thinks it's too dangerous to keep it any longer. When she accidentally shoots Camilla's face, we could learn that Olive can be distracted sometimes since she let it happen even though she knew the N-Zap was broken. The voices are also too quiet compared to the music and their volume varies too much, plus there's too much mumbling. I mean, if I wasn't wearing headphones, I would have had a hard time understanding what he was saying here. 1:15
The scene in the car is also boring because she comes across as a lifeless doll with her staring eyes and slow blinking that can only move its lips. Give her different expressions, give her some relatable habits that only she has that will make the conversation interesting and varied. Let the camera change perspectives more often, maybe some close-ups of a certain body part that is relevant to the story or the scene. You could have also shown what Wendy was doing during the phone call with Olive so we get a little insight into who she is. You could add some humor by showing her looking clean at first while struggling to unscrew a gun she's trying to fix, then the camera goes back to Olive and we just hear her grunting over the phone and then after she tells her "drive carefully" we hear an explosion over the phone... * then silence with a small yelp * so that the audience and Olive know that she's alive and is sort of okay, so that it seems cute, hilarious and humorous and not like a serious drama. After that Olive smiles awkwardly and hangs up with; "sure... you take care of yourself too". Then we'd love to learn more about Wendy and most importantly see what happened her and would be excited to keep watching.
What I also noticed is that you only show their upper bodies and close-ups of their faces. Try to use different camera angles in dynamic situations. Focus on their hands or feet more often as these convey body language. With this you can give subtle clues about how they are feeling.
2:55 I would avoid mixing human voices and voices from the game as it doesn't make sense and can distract everyone from the story, except if they speak different languages. Then it would be easier to emphasize that they speak different languages and don't understand each other.
3:05 I wouldn't add music in this scene, but silence with a gust of wind in the background and her hair physically blown to the side to emphasize more drama. The music in the video sounds sad and conveys the wrong mood. Also, Undertale music is really overused these days to be honest, but that's just my opinion.
3:09 Camilla's body language looks good here, but why would she be smirking in this situation? I thought her expensive phone just broke, but she acts like it's not that important to her. Also, you neglected Olive's expression because she's sitting there so expressionless. Even though Camilla was the main character in this scene, I would give each supporting character in a scene a little expression. It doesn't have to be too much so that Olive won't distract our attention from Camilla. Don't forget that hands are also very expressive. Olive might use her hands to cover her mouth, eyes, or head out of fear.
3:12 I...didn't understand that ...and why was she so easily intimidated? There are no subtle hints about their relationship. Do they know each other or is Camilla known as a troublemaker?
3:34 Also come on, that's too cheesy, like she's talking to a crying little kid who just tripped. She also helped her for no reason? Wasn't she at least hesitant to involve herself in civil courage? Arc played the flawless heroine because she's just a nice person with no personal intentions? She also accompanied Olive despite not knowing her, as if she...had nothing else to do in her life. This makes her a very bland and boring character. Arc also asked Olive why Camilla attacked her, but WHEN she defended Olive, Arc said that she wouldn't let Camilla hurt others because of an accident. So that means Arc saw what happened. Then why would she ask Olive why Camilla attacked her if Arc already saw it? That doesn't make sense. And the next scene is also unnecessary where Olive just told Arc why she attacked her. I mean, we saw it, so there is no need for an explanation of what the audience just saw, as this makes a scene very bland, repetitive and boring. Olive could have answered differently and given the audience a chance to discover subtle clues about her personality. Is she still scared? Does she take responsibility? Does she want to apologize? Maybe she wants to prevent Arc from involving her further because of Olive's personal mishap. She could have responded with something like "I'm fine, it was my fault anyways but thanks" to add a bit of variety on top of that instead of just explaining what we just saw. But again, Arc's question doesn't make sense anyway, as she saw that this was an accident. To make this scene more interesting, Arc could have done something stupid to Camilla to scare her away. Arc thought her tactic worked, but Camilla just got annoyed again and left with the look on her face: "Ugh, not her again." This can give the audience speculation about her reputation. If you want to emphasize that Olive is a kind person, she could have taken Camilla's phone to Wendy to fix it, maybe in case Camilla left it where she dropped it. Make it appear relatable and inspirational.
4:38 Again, there is a lack of relatable character. Why didn't Olive... somehow scold her for not telling her about the broken trigger earlier in the phone call, since she got in trouble because of it? Then we could learn that Wendy can be a little clumsy and forgetful sometimes because she's... overworked, maybe? But then she wouldn't be as peppy but a little more tired with a few little bags under her eyes, or she is clumsy by default. Maybe she didn't get a chance to because of the little explosion accident earlier during the phone call earlier. This could also explain why the N-Zap has a problem too. To visually emphasize her slight clumsiness, she could be completely covered in ink because of the little accident earlier to add more humor. When we first saw her in the phone scene, she was all clean, and NOW she looks like this, and this will explain the audience what happened to her in a subtle and funny way without words.
In the part where Olive hears thunder, she decides to quickly return to her car and drive home, but since Wendy is such a good person, she yells, "Wait!" She is holding an undercover umbrella. Olive looks at Wendy awkwardly, thinking about ALL THE THINGS that happened today because of her. Her accident on the phone call, the broken N-Zap, the conflict with Camilla, and now she's standing there holding the undercover umbrella while completely covered in ink. This will emphasize her clumsiness again so we can all remember it and relate to Olive's decision. Olive awkwardly but gratefully declines, thinking that was enough for today, especially because she's afraid that the whole story will repeat itself once she has to give her the undercover umbrella back, and runs off waving her "see ya" while the camera is behind Wendy's head watching Olive running off in the distance and scratching her head in confusion. These are just examples of how the characters can seem more relatable, charming, and lovable.
4:53 This isn't good either. She just stands there, you only see the back of her head, she doesn't move but mumbles quietly while you hear this loud storm in the background. If I understood correctly, she's glad she left as fast as she could. She should actually be gasping for air from running. I would also recommend showing their faces when they speak.
4:58 How did the can move to the left if it CAME from the left? Didn't Iris hide on the left side? Also, you could have focused the camera on Iris' feet for 2 seconds where she hit the can. Then show a top shot when Olive turns her head, switch the camera behind Olive's head while she's still facing that direction and standing still. Now all we can hear is the storm, which adds even more tension. I would then switch the camera to Iris and focus so that Olive is also seen in the background while Iris covers her mouth in shock, afraid of being discovered by Olive. By the way, since this is Splatoon, mammals are extinct, so there can't be any rats.
5:16 Here I would have her kick the can too, because she's upset that she was careless at that point and took it out on the can. Just a little extra
5:24 And again, the voice is too quiet.
Olive, Arc, and Wendy have too similar "personalities," which doesn't make them special and different from each other. They're all almost the same. Just nice and friendly with little contrast and dynamics, which is boring because they have very little compelling potential for conflict.
2:48-2:49
*Headcanon*
Camilla: *shouts obscenities at Olive*
3:19-3:21
Camilla: What the heck is she?!
I can't wait too!!
This is going to be great
Very awesome ^^
Nice one, dude
this is on par with Maeka Enderfox you get my sub
hmmm...
Nice
How do I give this money?
Hermoso🌹
OH MAH GOD THATS ME :0
Hi
The day this comment is old can you imagine that!?
yeah..
Are you Ali's dad???