Who remembers... 50(or so) years ago, Sunday nights, Disney movies. What (little child), highly sensitive person, doesn't cry? And have siblings to terrorize. I tried to hide my tears. I massively overcontrol my teats. To making happen, to making it stop. I hold my breath automatically while breathing. To not feel. Probably to distract also. I've actually been in my body. First. I'm sixty. Am doing breath and body work. Have come to realize the physical pain and lots of medical in my body is trauma related. As Im becoming aware...my body is in even more pain. And my father..."I teach you all I know and still you don't know anything" I knew back then that said a whole lot about him. Am in progress. Thank you for your being, and sharing. 🕊️
Wow. So thankful I have found you. Everything adds up for me. I often stop breathing. When my sister was sitting with me in the hospital after surgery she kept having to say “ breathe Nanc”, I also wake my self up as I’m drifting off to sleep realizing I am holding my breath. I have an over exaggerated startle reflex, everywhere, anything. You clearly explain how it takes more than just positive affirmations, breath exercises, visualizations, energy balancing etc. Thank you!
Irene, I really really love your videos. I can't even express how much you have helped me in the past year to deal with my system and all the trauma stored in my body. I listened to you for hours and just the tone of your voice is so soothing to me. Let alone all this amazing free information. Your videos are real gems. 💎 I also looove your heart exercise (meditation) video, it's different from all the other things out there. The other day I listened to a podcast by Anthony william about compassion and it was so beautiful it brought me to tears. And I just let those tears come and run down my face. And I was so happy and touched and I only realized after a while that this was the first time in my life that I just cried without questioning myself or feeling weird for crying. Cause I was never allowed to show my feelings early in life. So thank you so much for your work and dedication 🙏🏼🙏🏼💗💗
Whenever I don't express what I'm sensing, it makes me feel phony and like I'm betraying myself. It makes me feel like a coward for choosing comfort over what is really true and real.
Everyone-anyone who might not connect with any moment of Irene's presentation, know that an "in other words" would do it. Meaning that what's been said is reliable as it is, and to give consideration and repetition and education many chances. Each round enhances your coming through. Aha moments, when something resonates and is realized are new experiences. But soon, when familiarity sets in, familiar feelings don't find distraction. Answers realized are no less answers than when first experienced. Abandoning these for something that seems new, and so seems more powerful, is to delay progress already begun for having to back up and start working all over again, which reinforces old trauma. Keep with her and keep going-you've a great resource and support, and an education ahead. Use her references to her mentors. Don't waste the effort you've expended thus far...even if this presentation is a first for you. Team Lyon-excellent!
I feel the breathing recommendation. I often tried breathing exercises while being in a response- but I feld more overwhelmed. Thank you for your awesome videos.
I had so much resistance on the SBSM course. And it is conected to that feeling of deserving to be healed. Lot of toxic shame, and avoiding it to be felt. I tried to do little stuff threw whole year, and it is not easy. So much freezing, and disociation. A lot of resistence to Feldenkries excersize wich is conected to early development and much of shaming and emotional and verbal abuse from older sibling. And it conects to the statment that if I dont move, I will not be on my systers way and Ill be safe. That way I cant be hurt even more. So this year, Im preparing to continue this working. A lot of fear, avoidance, and grieving. I have problem to cry when Im outside, and when I walk in the nature sometimes just orienting brings up tears. Amd I shut it down or avoid people to not see me, because they would think Im crazy, or that something is wrong with me. I realized just now that yes, something is wrong, but not with me, I have a lot of stuffed emotions and there is nothing bad in that. Bad thing comes up when I try to skip it, and then I start to be more anxious. I dont have to be smilling each time, or in every situation. I would like to come one day on the road to feel and to not be afraid of it, or what would other think about me. Thank you for everything that you do for society.
LOVE this video - I am am SBSM student about to enter my 3rd round in 2024. Personally, I would like to see this video placed in the extra resource section of one of the labs. Maybe lab 2? This is meeting me where I am now. I love the fact that Irene states that a person's first experience of an exercise might be very different from their 2nd, 3rd or 17th experience of the same exercise. And yet each experience is important, valid, and invites opportunity for discernment (I'm paraphrasing). Again, ❤ this video!
Outstanding video I plan to share with as many people as possible. In Bikram yoga we encourage people to keep eyes open for the exact reasons you stated, especially when relaxing in savasana. Being with “what is” continuously is a disciplined, intentional practice and fosters interoceptive awareness. It literally changed my life- inside and out!!
This makes SO much sense to me. I have been a misattuned mother, and I notice a real change after I have shifted my own stuff. So tempting to fix the other, that saves me feeling the feelings I'm avoiding feeling ;-). Thanks for the tip of orienting when positive, I think I already knew, and it registered positively ❤️
I try to be that safe older sister for my 10 years younger one and while I see she still has an impact in her feeling of self-worth she is totally different than I was and much more open, rebellious and connected with herself :)
Wow! The part about the actual anesthesia chemicals being released decades later when the trauma gets revisited and worked through; that is fascinating! My Autonomic nervous system was severely affected when I had impacted wisdom teeth removed. They ran into issues so they had to give me another hit of anesthesia. Two hits back to back. I started to wake up in the middle of the procedure. I saw the dentist and the last thing I heard was him yelling “give her more”, before I passed out again. (More anesthesia). When I woke up again, I was ice cold, chattering, and could not breathe on my own. I thought for sure I was going to die. I literally had to tell myself to breathe in and out. The automatic breathing function was knocked off line.I didn’t think I was going to make it. The staff there didn’t even have a clue that something had gone really wrong. By the grace of God I survived But my life hung in the balance over the next few hours. Automatic breathing finally kicked back in. Has anyone else ever had an experience like this?
I get you, Ashley; I recently asked my mother if she was shaming me. How dare I ask! OOOOOOOOOO... the anger! No contact might be a good idea after this.
There was a point in life i was homeless,i ended up staying with a friend,when i was in my house ,my late parents,house, i usually cries to release my sadness, as i came to stay with a friend, this friend intimadated me from crying , after that , i stoped crying and this made me to depression i,m fighiting up to now,how can i natural cry again,because to these days i find it difficult to cry ,and I need my cry because it helps me overcoming sorrow, dissapointment and many things that i cannot solve.
Hi Hilde Hausiku Johannes, Jen here from Team Lyon. When we have trauma it's not uncommon to have blocked emotions. One of the core ingredients in healing trauma and allowing feelings to flow again is safety, and there are others. I'll link to two of Irene's resources that you might explore to see if they are helpful. Taking the pressure off - allowing space for the sadness to be there without moving through - can also be helpful. irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/ th-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/w-d-xo.html
Love Captain Fantastic! We/my family watch in every year on Easter:) I also teach from it in my classes. Huge life lessons. I would even perhaps argue that everything we need to know and understand in life is accompanied by a scene in that movie:) That might be.a tall order....but is at least entertaining to think about.
Hey Irene! I love the new nuggets I’m getting as I listen to these videos again. Would you do a video on what happens to our brain and the process someone might go through with regards to rediscovering their own learning process as they begin to get more regulation onboard? Seth’s math example stood out to me. I’m slowly rediscovering that the traditional way I learned in the educational system was not very helpful or aligned with how I most naturally learn. Now, as an adult, I’m really taking on your approach of learning slowly and gradually while working with the old stresses and anxiety from childhood and teenage learning experiences. With that, I can’t help but notice / think that there’s some neuroplasticity and brain rewiring happening as I walk myself through this process.
Anaesthesia yes! Thanks Irene! After I came back they would not understand when I told them I feel like my breathing is shutting down when I’m going in to deep Sleep my body wakes me up to breath again! Not sleep apnea it’s like my breathing system is shutting down before I can hit deep sleep it’s like I’m afraid to deep sleep
Great discussion, Irene. I'll like to know you're thoughts on getting fixated on, or addicted to feeling certain emotions. I know I have, and have seen others, get stuck wallowing in an emotion, to the point where it is compulsive, disempowering, and with little to no move to resolution, letting go, and moving on.
HI Lachlan Fleming, Jen here from Team Lyon. In Somatic Experiencing we talk about the "trauma vortex". The term is used to describe the pull that experiences of trauma in the nervous system can often exert, and this pull can be very strong at times. One way this is experienced is with emotions, we can get pulled in and they can get stronger, loop, recirculate. When we work with the nervous system the way Irene teaches, we grow capacity and learn to work with these experiences in specific ways that allow them to complete and resolve in time. This can be nuanced, and two of the foundational concepts often involved in this are what's known and "titration and pendulation." I'll link to a few of Irene's related resources here. irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/ th-cam.com/video/Qxd8hTMUSOY/w-d-xo.html
thank you... i'm watching a lot of your videos; i think that i'm a good place in therapy to be open to do more body work (that's what i'll call it)... thank you again. It's true that the body's functioning gets overlooked in many mental health understandings (first) and healing.
I have also seen and deeply appreciate each of those movies you mentioned. This reminds me of something that I have been in the habit of doing over the years which has been to deliberately seek out movies, books, images, etc. that I find profoundly touching. My intention in doing this has been to utilize these things to help draw out my emotional responsiveness. There has been a continual craving arising within me for having these sorts of cathartic experiences.
Hi Irene, I have a question about what to do,when I am feeling from wake up till the end of a day like 24/7 in Fight flight mode, everything is trigger for me so how I can check everything, it's is so overwhelming and and exhausting. I can feel it in my stomach all the time I can hear it. When you are saying to express this emotion I can cry all the time, but I don't know if I am crying beacause I am releasing this or if I am crying, because I am tired and exhausted from all day in F/F response. I am doing self holding exercise, orienting during a day. But I don't know what to do with this constant hyper vigilance. I am at home, because I don't what to take AD or anything to sedate me,but I can't work because of this. I am too scared to work with this I have insomnia also because of this. Yes I made it grow so big,because I didn't know about somatic experiencing etc. I want to have SBSM course and start to work really a lot,but for now I don't know how to start. How to calm down a bit. I am talking adaptogens, calming herbs, doings meditation and breathing,but calming makes me more hyper so here I can see that there is some emotions,that wants to be free,but I can just cry or I can feel jusz fear, despair from this adrenaline state. Thank you for help answer.
HI Barbara Hanzlova, Jen here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you have a lot of awareness about what's going on with you which can be helpful, and I hear that it can be challenging to be in a constant state of activation. What you're doing with the self-hold and orienting sounds wise, you might also see if it helps to let the energy move a bit, take a walk, move or shake your body, get curious about whether your body wants to move in any particular way. Working with the stress organs can often be very helpful when we're in a state of high activation, I'll link to a related video of Irene's below (it's about Adrenal Fatigue and often early phases of Adrenal Fatigue show up as heightened activation/anxiety). Irene teaches related practices in SmartBody SmartMind (SBSM). You might also consider doing some work with a practitioner trained in Kathy Kain's Somatic Practice work if that's an option. And are you already in the 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up? If not, I'd recommend checking it out as the cost of the "Tune Up" is applied towards the cost of SBSM if you decide to do it. I hope something in here is helpful - if you have questions, please ask. irenelyon.com/2019/11/03/how-to-heal-adrenal-fatigue-by-working-with-stress-organs/ 21daytuneup.com
I just interested to know if you have had any improvement. I totally get what you are talking about. Luckily I’m not experiencing it at the moment - that continual ff state but I have experienced it. And it does stop you from being able to work because you can’t sleep, and you also can’t relax enough to focus on work without feeling really uncomfortable and exhausted, and angry in my case because fatigue makes me frustrated and grumpy, and then you can’t even face getting to work because you’re exhausted. And then you get headaches from the stress and sleep problems. I think how can so many people not have these problems. And I think they either didn’t have trauma or their trauma led to them being at the narcissistic end of the spectrum and we just happen to be very highly sensitive probably both physically and emotionally and got a different trauma pattern. So we experience everything more intensely and experience more pain and fatigue than average. That’s the only answer I can come up with.
@@universaltruth2025 hello, So in terms of improvement it’s weird I think I went more in freeze mode so I feel relatively calm but behind it there is all of wasn’t i pushed down so it’s not the best but my brain and body did this job for me to protect me because it was a lot of to handle now I have more physical problems mainly the tension what is again freeze mode that is there helping the emotions stay stuck in muscles and in the body. I would like to change it and working on it but there is missing part the safety in the body or the neutral sensations that I have problems to feel.
Is there a residence based treatment center to begin working on this stuff? I'm working with early childhood, late childhood, combat....I'm at a loss for how to get myself to even try to start.
I have clients who are doing this good work and turning toward the feelings, and somatic sensations...as opposed to getting lost in the story...and yet they are ‘tired of crying.’ It almost feels like too much sensitivity ..
Hello 👋 thank you for this insightful content. I am wondering, if in an argument with my partner, my reaction is tears running on my face and I allow that. And my partner's reaction is raising his voice (which makes me more angry or feeling intimidated) should I, in the same way, allow that? For me, it feels like "he's shouting at me" = crossing my boundaries, I don't want that. I would love to know your views? Aren't people supposed to control their impulse when angry = not shout at others?
Hi Steffy Justin, Jen here from Team Lyon. There are different ways to look at this and there are no right or wrong answers - every relationship is different. I'll share a few thoughts from the nervous system perspective and hopefully something in here will be helpful. When you're talking to someone we care about and an emotion comes up, something you can ask yourself is do I feel supported and relatively safe feeling and expressing this emotion in the presence of that person? If yes, relative safety and support are present, then feeling emotion in another's presence is often a healing experience. If not, it may be more supportive to find a way to tell them you need some time and then remove yourself form the situation in the moment to create a supportive space for you to feel what's arising. As far as the anger goes, in the nervous system work we view anger as a form of healthy aggression. When people learn to express this aggression in conscious, supported ways, it can be transformative and often healing and empowerment result. If your partner is wiling, you might learn about this together and support one another in expressing it. I'll link to a few related resources below. It can also be very helpful to know that when we are in fight, flight or freeze, we go into "attack/defend" mode and have much less access to the part of our mind that is open to another person's perspective and experience - so it is very challenging if not impossible to really communicate when we're in this state. This is why it's common for man of us to loop round and round in a familiar argument or disagreement without getting anywhere. This changes as we do the work to grow nervous system regulation and capacity. th-cam.com/video/4wdeBJ39Cuw/w-d-xo.html sethlyon.com/healthy-aggression-the-way-to-un-frustrate-frustration/
@@teamlyon3109 Thanks a lot Jen! 🙂 I read your answer several times now, to grasp the content in a way it would be helpful for me as an individual, for me in the relationship, for my partner. This point of view is very interesting. I'm trying to adjust it to what I've been learning about boundaries. Before that, I had a hard time setting boundaries, but I'm getting much better now. The approach here seemed to clash with what I've learned so far. I'll take time to view the resources provided. Thank you.
You're welcome @@steffyjustin5108. Good to hear the response gave you some food for thought. Reading your reply, I wanted to add that boundaries can come in different shapes and sizes - making a request of someone to do or not do something in our presence is a way to set a boundary and alsoanotherareactsandright
@@teamlyon3109 Hello, I think there's a problem with the last part of your answer. About another way to set boundaries would be... 🤔 It took me years to learn about boundaries = what is ok or not ok for me, what's mine or not mine. I needed time to feel for myself what's ok or not. Then to learn to assert myself. Not let others overpower me.
Could you please elaborate on following the breathe? What if one gets flooded with emotion and sensation and can't breathe? (after which one has to take in a long breathe to replenish oxygen).
Hello @Return2Self Sophia here from Team Lyon. Thank you for your email and question. To address your question, here are some videos of how Irene approaches breath in terms of nervous system healing: th-cam.com/video/TjCbue81Qjg/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/mJfsAqBOYUQ/w-d-xo.html If you feel inclined to learn more and work with your nervous system, we highly recommend Irene's free resources, all housed under this link: irenelyon.com/free-resources/ Feel free to reach out to our support inbox with any questions
Hi bebaaskaful, Jen here from Team Lyon. When we're in freeze, or conservation, physiology it's common not to be able to feel much in the body. If you feel and emotion but you're not sure what it is, it can be helpful to simply be curious about what you're feeling. As we grow nervous system regulation and capacity the way that Irene teaches, our ability to feel and to know what we're feeling grown with time.
How much of what she is addressing here is in relation to post modern, industrialized civilization versus previous human/cultural situations. It seems like most of this has to do with all the fear and complexity that our modern circumstances are wrought with.... as opposed to something that's always been a chronic, pandemic issue across all of humanity. I pose the same general question to a wide array of modern spiritual teachings, psychotherapy, various healing modalities, etc. To give an example: She talks about the young child who is afraid of monsters in the closet. Indeed it's important to let them have and express their fear. But what was going on prior to 3-year-olds being separated from their parents at night by having their own bedroom with mysterious closets in it? Were toddlers jumping out of their skin in the middle of the night while cuddling in bed with their primary care-givers? And what about circumcision, forced caesareans, separating the child from the mother right after birth? And public k-12 education? It was less than a couple hundred years ago when we started removing children from their homes to be warehoused in age-segragated, baby-sitting camps all day starting as young as 5 or 6. Where are the 10,000-year, scientific, double blind studies that show this modern development being a facilitater of healthy, psychological development? Much is indicated to the contrary - as is the case on many other modern, artificial fronts. Yes, we need to learn how to better feel our emotions, but, if we don't address why it is that we are having to deal with so many emotions in the first place, then we're missing the larger picture. I'm not trying to pick on Irene; she's doing a bang up job here. I'm just wanting all of this to be properly contextualized so that human civilization can advance without every other third person needing to spend half their lives in therapy or psych-drugged so they can get through the day..... or searching in quiet desperation for youtube videos that give advice on something as basic as how to have feelings. It's indescribably tragic that Irene's presentation NEEDS to be made. If we don't make some fundamental changes to how we go about the whole business of living then, within 15-20 years from now, this video will be replaced with one about how to stave off suicide when you get out of bed in the morning - and fully loaded with the good sense and compassion that Irene brings to the table.
Hi Corben, Jen here from Team Lyon. I hear you - some practices that have been commonly accepted in many cultures are definitely not those most suited to healthy human development. The place I understand Irene to be coming from is that by supporting regulation growth in the current generation of parents, we'll raise a generation of people who are more regulated and may make choices that are both better fundamentally suited to how we operate as humans and to deal with the "newer" ways in other places.
@@teamlyon3109 Very good point. Yes, there's a vicious circle in play here and I suppose it can and should be broken at any point around its perimeter. Afterall how are screwed up, disregulated people going to create an envirnoment that doesn't create more screwed up, disregulated people? I just find it important to point out the other half of this story as we all muddle through our issues and try to become whole and same again.
I had to suppress joy. It wasn't safe for me to express happiness in my family as my mother would see that as an opportunity to emotionally attack me. I have grown up to relay on negativity as a protection. This has got me in a real fix because I can't actually detect positive feelings or emotions anymore. I even find positivity in society a real trigger and my nervous system perceives it as a threat. 😔
Hi Anna Wilson, Jen here from Team Lyon. What you describe makes a lot of sense. One of the cool things about working at the nervous system level is that as we heal trauma and grow nervous system regulation and capacity, we start to have more access to feelings that were formerly "off limits".
What does one do when following the breath? There are many times I can’t because I’m not able to breathe. Throat constriction. The way described at 26:49. What then? Continue to breathe shallow while knowing that it may not be right now?
Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Here is what Irene has previously said about breathing: studio.th-cam.com/users/videomJfsAqBOYUQ/edit and studio.th-cam.com/users/videoTjCbue81Qjg/edit . You can also search the channel for more relevant videos, which will help you understand how Irene approaching breath and breathwork. Feel free to reach out to our support inbox if you have any further questions.
I recently found out that the seizures i started having 12 years ago may be psuedo seizures. Whats the best way to get rid of garbage emotion? I would love to stop having them
Hi Tina Malave, Jen here from Team Lyon. I'm not sure what you mean by garbage emotions. If you mean emotions related to stored trauma, then we need to build the capacity to feel them in a way that leads to healing. If you haven't yet seen Irene's free Healing Trauma training, that can be a good place to learn more. I'll link to it here in case you want to check it out. Free Healing Trauma video training - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
Hi Irene and thanks. This video was more "juicy" with more info than the others, I found. I had a question: I want to read something by the man himself Levine. I saw that he wrote 4 books, but "waking the tiger" is many years old, and he wrote other books in the 2000s and even more recently. I wanted to ask you which one to read, and if the recent ones are more "updated" and kinda synthesise in them what the oldest books like "waking the tiger" talk about. I ask because I'd like to avoid wasting time in reading a book that maybe is outdated, when the more recent one maybe talks about the same things, and even more, and even better. Thanks.
Hi YouNolf, Jen here from Team Lyon (and an SEP). I'd recommend starting with "In an Unspoken Voice". It's more updated than "Waking the Tiger" (which is also great) and also incorporates much of what's covered in "Waking the Tiger." "Trauma and Memory" is also a good one if you're interested in that topic.
Hi@@YouNolf, if you mean "Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body", that's a great book. It's different from the others in that it's pretty short and gives a concise overview of some aspects of trauma and how to recognize it, and it also includes practical exercises guided by Peter. It's actually one of my personal faves.
Thanks for the video. I don't understand the concept that 'our emotions are encased in our physicality'. CBT suggests that our thinking (or over-thinking) causes emotions like fear or anger. These emotions trigger sensations throughout the body (nervous stomach, etc). I'm not understanding why we should focus on the feeling and not interrogate the thinking that causes the feelings.
Because it's is shown that we first sense something in the body and then we process the sensation with our brain. O recommend you read some information about how the brain and the guy are connected. You need to get more information. Then you will understand what Irene is saying.
Hi Adam John, Jen here from team Lyon. I'll pass your suggestion along to Irene, and the short answer is that if you can orient to the present, towards resources and support, it can often be helpful in tuning more into a senes of agency and inner knowing and lowering the volume on anxiety. If there is a lot of trauma in the picture, this may be challenging to do without first growing nervous system regulation (which is what Irene teaches). In that case it can be helpful to rely heavily on whatever resources and support you have available to you (e.g., getting some input from a trusted friend, coach, therapist or body worker). I realize this isn't helpful to you if you need to make a decision imminently, and as we grow nervous system regulation over time it becomes easier to access our strength, agency and clarity in the face of challenging decisions and situations.
@@adamjohn4507 , wanted to clarify that I can't say for sure whether or not Irene will make a video out this topic. You could also attend one of her monthly Q&A events and see if you have the opportunity to ask your question there. You can find out about these Q&A vents over in her Healthy Nervous System Revolution facebook group: facebook.com/groups/nervoussystem/announcements
Who remembers... 50(or so) years ago, Sunday nights, Disney movies. What (little child), highly sensitive person, doesn't cry? And have siblings to terrorize. I tried to hide my tears. I massively overcontrol my teats. To making happen, to making it stop. I hold my breath automatically while breathing. To not feel. Probably to distract also. I've actually been in my body. First. I'm sixty. Am doing breath and body work. Have come to realize the physical pain and lots of medical in my body is trauma related. As Im becoming aware...my body is in even more pain. And my father..."I teach you all I know and still you don't know anything" I knew back then that said a whole lot about him.
Am in progress.
Thank you for your being, and sharing. 🕊️
Breathing, Feeling, Connecting, Movement & self expression, the ultimate ways to deep healing. Thank you .
Wow. So thankful I have found you. Everything adds up for me. I often stop breathing. When my sister was sitting with me in the hospital after surgery she kept having to say “ breathe Nanc”, I also wake my self up as I’m drifting off to sleep realizing I am holding my breath. I have an over exaggerated startle reflex, everywhere, anything. You clearly explain how it takes more than just positive affirmations, breath exercises, visualizations, energy balancing etc. Thank you!
Irene, I really really love your videos. I can't even express how much you have helped me in the past year to deal with my system and all the trauma stored in my body. I listened to you for hours and just the tone of your voice is so soothing to me. Let alone all this amazing free information. Your videos are real gems. 💎 I also looove your heart exercise (meditation) video, it's different from all the other things out there.
The other day I listened to a podcast by Anthony william about compassion and it was so beautiful it brought me to tears. And I just let those tears come and run down my face. And I was so happy and touched and I only realized after a while that this was the first time in my life that I just cried without questioning myself or feeling weird for crying. Cause I was never allowed to show my feelings early in life.
So thank you so much for your work and dedication 🙏🏼🙏🏼💗💗
Whenever I don't express what I'm sensing, it makes me feel phony and like I'm betraying myself. It makes me feel like a coward for choosing comfort over what is really true and real.
really well put! for me it also builds up anger and disappointment for failing myself. like a mini depression if i do it for too long
Yes to BOTH your comments!
We are evolving as a species ! ❤🎉
Irene, your caring heart always comes through in your videos. Thank you. 🌺
Everyone-anyone who might not connect with any moment of Irene's presentation, know that an "in other words" would do it. Meaning that what's been said is reliable as it is, and to give consideration and repetition and education many chances. Each round enhances your coming through.
Aha moments, when something resonates and is realized are new experiences. But soon, when familiarity sets in, familiar feelings don't find distraction. Answers realized are no less answers than when first experienced. Abandoning these for something that seems new, and so seems more powerful, is to delay progress already begun for having to back up and start working all over again, which reinforces old trauma.
Keep with her and keep going-you've a great resource and support, and an education ahead. Use her references to her mentors. Don't waste the effort you've expended thus far...even if this presentation is a first for you.
Team Lyon-excellent!
I feel the breathing recommendation. I often tried breathing exercises while being in a response- but I feld more overwhelmed. Thank you for your awesome videos.
I had so much resistance on the SBSM course. And it is conected to that feeling of deserving to be healed. Lot of toxic shame, and avoiding it to be felt. I tried to do little stuff threw whole year, and it is not easy. So much freezing, and disociation. A lot of resistence to Feldenkries excersize wich is conected to early development and much of shaming and emotional and verbal abuse from older sibling. And it conects to the statment that if I dont move, I will not be on my systers way and Ill be safe. That way I cant be hurt even more. So this year, Im preparing to continue this working. A lot of fear, avoidance, and grieving. I have problem to cry when Im outside, and when I walk in the nature sometimes just orienting brings up tears. Amd I shut it down or avoid people to not see me, because they would think Im crazy, or that something is wrong with me. I realized just now that yes, something is wrong, but not with me, I have a lot of stuffed emotions and there is nothing bad in that. Bad thing comes up when I try to skip it, and then I start to be more anxious. I dont have to be smilling each time, or in every situation. I would like to come one day on the road to feel and to not be afraid of it, or what would other think about me. Thank you for everything that you do for society.
LOVE this video - I am am SBSM student about to enter my 3rd round in 2024. Personally, I would like to see this video placed in the extra resource section of one of the labs. Maybe lab 2? This is meeting me where I am now. I love the fact that Irene states that a person's first experience of an exercise might be very different from their 2nd, 3rd or 17th experience of the same exercise. And yet each experience is important, valid, and invites opportunity for discernment (I'm paraphrasing). Again, ❤ this video!
Outstanding video I plan to share with as many people as possible. In Bikram yoga we encourage people to keep eyes open for the exact reasons you stated, especially when relaxing in savasana. Being with “what is” continuously is a disciplined, intentional practice and fosters interoceptive awareness. It literally changed my life- inside and out!!
This makes SO much sense to me. I have been a misattuned mother, and I notice a real change after I have shifted my own stuff. So tempting to fix the other, that saves me feeling the feelings I'm avoiding feeling ;-). Thanks for the tip of orienting when positive, I think I already knew, and it registered positively ❤️
Oh yes, I, too, was told, “I’ll really give you something to cry about!”, as a young child. I learned to shut down. 😢
I try to be that safe older sister for my 10 years younger one and while I see she still has an impact in her feeling of self-worth she is totally different than I was and much more open, rebellious and connected with herself :)
Wow! The part about the actual anesthesia chemicals being released decades later when the trauma gets revisited and worked through; that is fascinating!
My Autonomic nervous system was severely affected when I had impacted wisdom teeth removed. They ran into issues so they had to give me another hit of anesthesia. Two hits back to back. I started to wake up in the middle of the procedure. I saw the dentist and the last thing I heard was him yelling “give her more”, before I passed out again. (More anesthesia).
When I woke up again, I was ice cold, chattering, and could not breathe on my own. I thought for sure I was going to die. I literally had to tell myself to breathe in and out. The automatic breathing function was knocked off line.I didn’t think I was going to make it. The staff there didn’t even have a clue that something had gone really wrong. By the grace of God I survived But my life hung in the balance over the next few hours. Automatic breathing finally kicked back in.
Has anyone else ever had an experience like this?
So nourishing this video Irene, thanks!!!
Fascinating. I so adore these topics, life.
Wow, so much golden information. Thank you 🙏🏾
This was wonderful, thank you Irene.
I’m 50 and my mom is still trying to shut my emotions down....now I call her out on it
I get you, Ashley; I recently asked my mother if she was shaming me. How dare I ask! OOOOOOOOOO... the anger!
No contact might be a good idea after this.
@@rtbphx1736 I get that!
My mon too
Same here.They are soooo sick.
And the bad think is they LL never admit to it.@@bineschiff2270
There was a point in life i was homeless,i ended up staying with a friend,when i was in my house ,my late parents,house, i usually cries to release my sadness, as i came to stay with a friend, this friend intimadated me from crying , after that , i stoped crying and this made me to depression i,m fighiting up to now,how can i natural cry again,because to these days i find it difficult to cry ,and I need my cry because it helps me overcoming sorrow, dissapointment and many things that i cannot solve.
Hi Hilde Hausiku Johannes, Jen here from Team Lyon. When we have trauma it's not uncommon to have blocked emotions. One of the core ingredients in healing trauma and allowing feelings to flow again is safety, and there are others. I'll link to two of Irene's resources that you might explore to see if they are helpful. Taking the pressure off - allowing space for the sadness to be there without moving through - can also be helpful.
irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
th-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/w-d-xo.html
Love Captain Fantastic! We/my family watch in every year on Easter:) I also teach from it in my classes. Huge life lessons. I would even perhaps argue that everything we need to know and understand in life is accompanied by a scene in that movie:) That might be.a tall order....but is at least entertaining to think about.
Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤
Hey Irene! I love the new nuggets I’m getting as I listen to these videos again. Would you do a video on what happens to our brain and the process someone might go through with regards to rediscovering their own learning process as they begin to get more regulation onboard?
Seth’s math example stood out to me. I’m slowly rediscovering that the traditional way I learned in the educational system was not very helpful or aligned with how I most naturally learn. Now, as an adult, I’m really taking on your approach of learning slowly and gradually while working with the old stresses and anxiety from childhood and teenage learning experiences. With that, I can’t help but notice / think that there’s some neuroplasticity and brain rewiring happening as I walk myself through this process.
thank you so much
Anaesthesia yes! Thanks Irene! After I came back they would not understand when I told them I feel like my breathing is shutting down when I’m going in to deep
Sleep my body wakes me up to breath again! Not sleep apnea it’s like my breathing system is shutting down before I can hit deep sleep it’s like I’m afraid to deep sleep
Great discussion, Irene. I'll like to know you're thoughts on getting fixated on, or addicted to feeling certain emotions. I know I have, and have seen others, get stuck wallowing in an emotion, to the point where it is compulsive, disempowering, and with little to no move to resolution, letting go, and moving on.
HI Lachlan Fleming, Jen here from Team Lyon. In Somatic Experiencing we talk about the "trauma vortex". The term is used to describe the pull that experiences of trauma in the nervous system can often exert, and this pull can be very strong at times. One way this is experienced is with emotions, we can get pulled in and they can get stronger, loop, recirculate.
When we work with the nervous system the way Irene teaches, we grow capacity and learn to work with these experiences in specific ways that allow them to complete and resolve in time. This can be nuanced, and two of the foundational concepts often involved in this are what's known and "titration and pendulation." I'll link to a few of Irene's related resources here.
irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
th-cam.com/video/Qxd8hTMUSOY/w-d-xo.html
thank you... i'm watching a lot of your videos; i think that i'm a good place in therapy to be open to do more body work (that's what i'll call it)... thank you again. It's true that the body's functioning gets overlooked in many mental health understandings (first) and healing.
Thank you Irene 🙂 for all the information 🌹
I have also seen and deeply appreciate each of those movies you mentioned. This reminds me of something that I have been in the habit of doing over the years which has been to deliberately seek out movies, books, images, etc. that I find profoundly touching. My intention in doing this has been to utilize these things to help draw out my emotional responsiveness. There has been a continual craving arising within me for having these sorts of cathartic experiences.
another great vid
Hi Irene, I have a question about what to do,when I am feeling from wake up till the end of a day like 24/7 in Fight flight mode, everything is trigger for me so how I can check everything, it's is so overwhelming and and exhausting. I can feel it in my stomach all the time I can hear it. When you are saying to express this emotion I can cry all the time, but I don't know if I am crying beacause I am releasing this or if I am crying, because I am tired and exhausted from all day in F/F response. I am doing self holding exercise, orienting during a day. But I don't know what to do with this constant hyper vigilance. I am at home, because I don't what to take AD or anything to sedate me,but I can't work because of this. I am too scared to work with this I have insomnia also because of this. Yes I made it grow so big,because I didn't know about somatic experiencing etc. I want to have SBSM course and start to work really a lot,but for now I don't know how to start. How to calm down a bit. I am talking adaptogens, calming herbs, doings meditation and breathing,but calming makes me more hyper so here I can see that there is some emotions,that wants to be free,but I can just cry or I can feel jusz fear, despair from this adrenaline state. Thank you for help answer.
HI Barbara Hanzlova, Jen here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you have a lot of awareness about what's going on with you which can be helpful, and I hear that it can be challenging to be in a constant state of activation. What you're doing with the self-hold and orienting sounds wise, you might also see if it helps to let the energy move a bit, take a walk, move or shake your body, get curious about whether your body wants to move in any particular way.
Working with the stress organs can often be very helpful when we're in a state of high activation, I'll link to a related video of Irene's below (it's about Adrenal Fatigue and often early phases of Adrenal Fatigue show up as heightened activation/anxiety). Irene teaches related practices in SmartBody SmartMind (SBSM). You might also consider doing some work with a practitioner trained in Kathy Kain's Somatic Practice work if that's an option.
And are you already in the 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up? If not, I'd recommend checking it out as the cost of the "Tune Up" is applied towards the cost of SBSM if you decide to do it. I hope something in here is helpful - if you have questions, please ask.
irenelyon.com/2019/11/03/how-to-heal-adrenal-fatigue-by-working-with-stress-organs/
21daytuneup.com
I just interested to know if you have had any improvement. I totally get what you are talking about. Luckily I’m not experiencing it at the moment - that continual ff state but I have experienced it. And it does stop you from being able to work because you can’t sleep, and you also can’t relax enough to focus on work without feeling really uncomfortable and exhausted, and angry in my case because fatigue makes me frustrated and grumpy, and then you can’t even face getting to work because you’re exhausted. And then you get headaches from the stress and sleep problems.
I think how can so many people not have these problems. And I think they either didn’t have trauma or their trauma led to them being at the narcissistic end of the spectrum and we just happen to be very highly sensitive probably both physically and emotionally and got a different trauma pattern. So we experience everything more intensely and experience more pain and fatigue than average. That’s the only answer I can come up with.
@@universaltruth2025 hello, So in terms of improvement it’s weird I think I went more in freeze mode so I feel relatively calm but behind it there is all of wasn’t i pushed down so it’s not the best but my brain and body did this job for me to protect me because it was a lot of to handle now I have more physical problems mainly the tension what is again freeze mode that is there helping the emotions stay stuck in muscles and in the body. I would like to change it and working on it but there is missing part the safety in the body or the neutral sensations that I have problems to feel.
Is there a residence based treatment center to begin working on this stuff? I'm working with early childhood, late childhood, combat....I'm at a loss for how to get myself to even try to start.
I have clients who are doing this good work and turning toward the feelings, and somatic sensations...as opposed to getting lost in the story...and yet they are ‘tired of crying.’ It almost feels like too much sensitivity ..
I used to express my needs to my mother and she would mimic what I said in a mocking way...
Hello 👋 thank you for this insightful content.
I am wondering, if in an argument with my partner, my reaction is tears running on my face and I allow that.
And my partner's reaction is raising his voice (which makes me more angry or feeling intimidated) should I, in the same way, allow that?
For me, it feels like "he's shouting at me" = crossing my boundaries, I don't want that.
I would love to know your views?
Aren't people supposed to control their impulse when angry = not shout at others?
Hi Steffy Justin, Jen here from Team Lyon. There are different ways to look at this and there are no right or wrong answers - every relationship is different. I'll share a few thoughts from the nervous system perspective and hopefully something in here will be helpful.
When you're talking to someone we care about and an emotion comes up, something you can ask yourself is do I feel supported and relatively safe feeling and expressing this emotion in the presence of that person? If yes, relative safety and support are present, then feeling emotion in another's presence is often a healing experience. If not, it may be more supportive to find a way to tell them you need some time and then remove yourself form the situation in the moment to create a supportive space for you to feel what's arising.
As far as the anger goes, in the nervous system work we view anger as a form of healthy aggression. When people learn to express this aggression in conscious, supported ways, it can be transformative and often healing and empowerment result. If your partner is wiling, you might learn about this together and support one another in expressing it. I'll link to a few related resources below.
It can also be very helpful to know that when we are in fight, flight or freeze, we go into "attack/defend" mode and have much less access to the part of our mind that is open to another person's perspective and experience - so it is very challenging if not impossible to really communicate when we're in this state. This is why it's common for man of us to loop round and round in a familiar argument or disagreement without getting anywhere. This changes as we do the work to grow nervous system regulation and capacity.
th-cam.com/video/4wdeBJ39Cuw/w-d-xo.html
sethlyon.com/healthy-aggression-the-way-to-un-frustrate-frustration/
@@teamlyon3109 Thanks a lot Jen! 🙂 I read your answer several times now, to grasp the content in a way it would be helpful for me as an individual, for me in the relationship, for my partner. This point of view is very interesting.
I'm trying to adjust it to what I've been learning about boundaries. Before that, I had a hard time setting boundaries, but I'm getting much better now. The approach here seemed to clash with what I've learned so far.
I'll take time to view the resources provided. Thank you.
You're welcome @@steffyjustin5108. Good to hear the response gave you some food for thought.
Reading your reply, I wanted to add that boundaries can come in different shapes and sizes - making a request of someone to do or not do something in our presence is a way to set a boundary and alsoanotherareactsandright
@@teamlyon3109 Hello, I think there's a problem with the last part of your answer. About another way to set boundaries would be... 🤔
It took me years to learn about boundaries = what is ok or not ok for me, what's mine or not mine.
I needed time to feel for myself what's ok or not. Then to learn to assert myself. Not let others overpower me.
Could you please elaborate on following the breathe? What if one gets flooded with emotion and sensation and can't breathe? (after which one has to take in a long breathe to replenish oxygen).
Hello @Return2Self Sophia here from Team Lyon. Thank you for your email and question. To address your question, here are some videos of how Irene approaches breath in terms of nervous system healing:
th-cam.com/video/TjCbue81Qjg/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/mJfsAqBOYUQ/w-d-xo.html
If you feel inclined to learn more and work with your nervous system, we highly recommend Irene's free resources, all housed under this link: irenelyon.com/free-resources/
Feel free to reach out to our support inbox with any questions
What happens if you cant find emotion in youre body, or you dont know what this emotion is? Is it anger, sadness, pain, anxiety.. etc.
Hi bebaaskaful, Jen here from Team Lyon. When we're in freeze, or conservation, physiology it's common not to be able to feel much in the body. If you feel and emotion but you're not sure what it is, it can be helpful to simply be curious about what you're feeling. As we grow nervous system regulation and capacity the way that Irene teaches, our ability to feel and to know what we're feeling grown with time.
How much of what she is addressing here is in relation to post modern, industrialized civilization versus previous human/cultural situations. It seems like most of this has to do with all the fear and complexity that our modern circumstances are wrought with.... as opposed to something that's always been a chronic, pandemic issue across all of humanity. I pose the same general question to a wide array of modern spiritual teachings, psychotherapy, various healing modalities, etc.
To give an example: She talks about the young child who is afraid of monsters in the closet. Indeed it's important to let them have and express their fear. But what was going on prior to 3-year-olds being separated from their parents at night by having their own bedroom with mysterious closets in it? Were toddlers jumping out of their skin in the middle of the night while cuddling in bed with their primary care-givers?
And what about circumcision, forced caesareans, separating the child from the mother right after birth? And public k-12 education? It was less than a couple hundred years ago when we started removing children from their homes to be warehoused in age-segragated, baby-sitting camps all day starting as young as 5 or 6. Where are the 10,000-year, scientific, double blind studies that show this modern development being a facilitater of healthy, psychological development? Much is indicated to the contrary - as is the case on many other modern, artificial fronts.
Yes, we need to learn how to better feel our emotions, but, if we don't address why it is that we are having to deal with so many emotions in the first place, then we're missing the larger picture. I'm not trying to pick on Irene; she's doing a bang up job here. I'm just wanting all of this to be properly contextualized so that human civilization can advance without every other third person needing to spend half their lives in therapy or psych-drugged so they can get through the day..... or searching in quiet desperation for youtube videos that give advice on something as basic as how to have feelings. It's indescribably tragic that Irene's presentation NEEDS to be made.
If we don't make some fundamental changes to how we go about the whole business of living then, within 15-20 years from now, this video will be replaced with one about how to stave off suicide when you get out of bed in the morning - and fully loaded with the good sense and compassion that Irene brings to the table.
Hi Corben, Jen here from Team Lyon. I hear you - some practices that have been commonly accepted in many cultures are definitely not those most suited to healthy human development. The place I understand Irene to be coming from is that by supporting regulation growth in the current generation of parents, we'll raise a generation of people who are more regulated and may make choices that are both better fundamentally suited to how we operate as humans and to deal with the "newer" ways in other places.
@@teamlyon3109 Very good point. Yes, there's a vicious circle in play here and I suppose it can and should be broken at any point around its perimeter. Afterall how are screwed up, disregulated people going to create an envirnoment that doesn't create more screwed up, disregulated people? I just find it important to point out the other half of this story as we all muddle through our issues and try to become whole and same again.
I had to suppress joy. It wasn't safe for me to express happiness in my family as my mother would see that as an opportunity to emotionally attack me. I have grown up to relay on negativity as a protection. This has got me in a real fix because I can't actually detect positive feelings or emotions anymore. I even find positivity in society a real trigger and my nervous system perceives it as a threat. 😔
Hi Anna Wilson, Jen here from Team Lyon. What you describe makes a lot of sense. One of the cool things about working at the nervous system level is that as we heal trauma and grow nervous system regulation and capacity, we start to have more access to feelings that were formerly "off limits".
What does one do when following the breath? There are many times I can’t because I’m not able to breathe. Throat constriction. The way described at 26:49. What then? Continue to breathe shallow while knowing that it may not be right now?
Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Here is what Irene has previously said about breathing: studio.th-cam.com/users/videomJfsAqBOYUQ/edit and studio.th-cam.com/users/videoTjCbue81Qjg/edit . You can also search the channel for more relevant videos, which will help you understand how Irene approaching breath and breathwork. Feel free to reach out to our support inbox if you have any further questions.
I recently found out that the seizures i started having 12 years ago may be psuedo seizures. Whats the best way to get rid of garbage emotion? I would love to stop having them
Hi Tina Malave, Jen here from Team Lyon. I'm not sure what you mean by garbage emotions. If you mean emotions related to stored trauma, then we need to build the capacity to feel them in a way that leads to healing. If you haven't yet seen Irene's free Healing Trauma training, that can be a good place to learn more. I'll link to it here in case you want to check it out.
Free Healing Trauma video training - irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
Hi Irene and thanks. This video was more "juicy" with more info than the others, I found.
I had a question: I want to read something by the man himself Levine. I saw that he wrote 4 books, but "waking the tiger" is many years old, and he wrote other books in the 2000s and even more recently.
I wanted to ask you which one to read, and if the recent ones are more "updated" and kinda synthesise in them what the oldest books like "waking the tiger" talk about.
I ask because I'd like to avoid wasting time in reading a book that maybe is outdated, when the more recent one maybe talks about the same things, and even more, and even better.
Thanks.
Hi YouNolf, Jen here from Team Lyon (and an SEP). I'd recommend starting with "In an Unspoken Voice". It's more updated than "Waking the Tiger" (which is also great) and also incorporates much of what's covered in "Waking the Tiger." "Trauma and Memory" is also a good one if you're interested in that topic.
@@teamlyon3109 thanks! What about "healing trauma"?
Hi@@YouNolf, if you mean "Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body", that's a great book. It's different from the others in that it's pretty short and gives a concise overview of some aspects of trauma and how to recognize it, and it also includes practical exercises guided by Peter. It's actually one of my personal faves.
@@teamlyon3109 I see, thank you.
Thanks for the video.
I don't understand the concept that 'our emotions are encased in our physicality'.
CBT suggests that our thinking (or over-thinking) causes emotions like fear or anger.
These emotions trigger sensations throughout the body (nervous stomach, etc).
I'm not understanding why we should focus on the feeling and not interrogate the thinking that causes the feelings.
Because it's is shown that we first sense something in the body and then we process the sensation with our brain. O recommend you read some information about how the brain and the guy are connected. You need to get more information. Then you will understand what Irene is saying.
Team Lyon
Could you recommend or share Irene’s recommendations of research resources of the brain- gut connection ?
Hi..I'm facing a Do or Die situation,can you do a video about how to face a very difficult situation with less anxiety and much courage
Hi Adam John, Jen here from team Lyon. I'll pass your suggestion along to Irene, and the short answer is that if you can orient to the present, towards resources and support, it can often be helpful in tuning more into a senes of agency and inner knowing and lowering the volume on anxiety.
If there is a lot of trauma in the picture, this may be challenging to do without first growing nervous system regulation (which is what Irene teaches). In that case it can be helpful to rely heavily on whatever resources and support you have available to you (e.g., getting some input from a trusted friend, coach, therapist or body worker).
I realize this isn't helpful to you if you need to make a decision imminently, and as we grow nervous system regulation over time it becomes easier to access our strength, agency and clarity in the face of challenging decisions and situations.
@@teamlyon3109 Thank You so much..Expecting a video about this
@@adamjohn4507 , wanted to clarify that I can't say for sure whether or not Irene will make a video out this topic. You could also attend one of her monthly Q&A events and see if you have the opportunity to ask your question there. You can find out about these Q&A vents over in her Healthy Nervous System Revolution facebook group:
facebook.com/groups/nervoussystem/announcements
you are traumatized people mama Irene :)