I love everything you do, tbh, but I ESPECIALLY love the straight talk you blessed us with from 10:35-10:50. I was getting all insecure about having initiated ALL of the meet-ups with one friend... I've been "in my head" imagining that maybe she doesn't really want to hang out. But then I realized: she has said "yes" to every invitation, she's never cancelled or been late, she shows up well-dressed and smiling, she's an active listener and doesn't even check her phone when we're in conversation... What a freakin blessing. She's still good friend material! Sometimes one person leads the "consistency" piece. It's still worth doing.
My best friend and I always text each other "good morning" and "good night". I don't remember clearly since how and when it became a routine...but it's so important to us. She even wished me a 5 days' morning and night at once, because she was going on a trip for five days (Hey Mou...if you are seeing this, I love you💓) . Even if we don't talk to each other some day (because maybe we are kinda busy that particular day) we would always know that we are there for each other. Consistency matters, it builds trust. Thanks for the video. Thanks Shasta for being there for us. We need you, in a world where almost nobody's talking about friendship, where everyone's caring about getting a boyfriend or girlfriend or etc etc...... Friendship matters. The world would have been sooo beautiful if everyone tried to be a better friend.
I keep reaching out, inviting, & they agree but then it never happens? Yet I see (social media) they’re with others. You say to keep reaching out, but I feel like I’m just looking desperate.
Well, I initiate but one of my best friends over 20 yrs, no longer answers the phone, so I went to a quick text, but then she no longer answered texts, then she let me know she was annoyed by my text because she was "busy". She only gets hold of me when she needs a favor.
I love this video! Thank you so much for sharing and educating. I'm a little confused...how to reconcile being the one who makes the effort in the relationship and how that could ever translate into being able to rely on something? If they don't show up in the earlier stages, what reason is there to believe they'd show up later? Therefore how could it be a gift to invest time into people you have no reason to trust? Universal positive regard and compassion is great, but not everyone can be a close friend..
Personally I think initiation should happen with both sides. Not just one person. Regardless of whether things always workout when only one person does the initiating
Shasta bought your 2 books. Does compatibility in interests, personalities values sit within positivity as a foundation for the connection also can the stages of feiendship translate to contact friend - good aquaintance common friend - casual friend. I understand at contact friend stage you dont make intentional plans to spend time together outwith the context you are in. Where does reciprocity in intiation sit?
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I love everything you do, tbh, but I ESPECIALLY love the straight talk you blessed us with from 10:35-10:50.
I was getting all insecure about having initiated ALL of the meet-ups with one friend... I've been "in my head" imagining that maybe she doesn't really want to hang out. But then I realized: she has said "yes" to every invitation, she's never cancelled or been late, she shows up well-dressed and smiling, she's an active listener and doesn't even check her phone when we're in conversation... What a freakin blessing. She's still good friend material!
Sometimes one person leads the "consistency" piece. It's still worth doing.
My best friend and I always text each other "good morning" and "good night". I don't remember clearly since how and when it became a routine...but it's so important to us. She even wished me a 5 days' morning and night at once, because she was going on a trip for five days (Hey Mou...if you are seeing this, I love you💓) . Even if we don't talk to each other some day (because maybe we are kinda busy that particular day) we would always know that we are there for each other. Consistency matters, it builds trust. Thanks for the video. Thanks Shasta for being there for us. We need you, in a world where almost nobody's talking about friendship, where everyone's caring about getting a boyfriend or girlfriend or etc etc...... Friendship matters. The world would have been sooo beautiful if everyone tried to be a better friend.
Awhhh that sounds like such a wholesome friendship - love it 🥰
@@Krys579 Thank you🙂.
I keep reaching out, inviting, & they agree but then it never happens? Yet I see (social media) they’re with others. You say to keep reaching out, but I feel like I’m just looking desperate.
What I’m hearing is that it’s what happens in your time together that builds trust. Sometimes one person initiates that time more at the beginning.
Your content is great. Please don't stop.
I'm glad people are realizing these pointers are as valid for men as they are for women.
*QUALITY* time... spending quality time, just spending time builds habit not intimacy 🌹
Well, I initiate but one of my best friends over 20 yrs, no longer answers the phone, so I went to a quick text, but then she no longer answered texts, then she let me know she was annoyed by my text because she was "busy". She only gets hold of me when she needs a favor.
Easy. Let her go. It's sad but you will get over it and in time, realize you should've let go sooner. Good luck ❤
I love this video! Thank you so much for sharing and educating.
I'm a little confused...how to reconcile being the one who makes the effort in the relationship and how that could ever translate into being able to rely on something? If they don't show up in the earlier stages, what reason is there to believe they'd show up later?
Therefore how could it be a gift to invest time into people you have no reason to trust? Universal positive regard and compassion is great, but not everyone can be a close friend..
I need to record this on cassette to listen to over and over again
@@phaikabob5384 I don't have an ipod anymore
Personally I think initiation should happen with both sides. Not just one person. Regardless of whether things always workout when only one person does the initiating
Shasta bought your 2 books. Does compatibility in interests, personalities values sit within positivity as a foundation for the connection also can the stages of feiendship translate to contact friend - good aquaintance common friend - casual friend. I understand at contact friend stage you dont make intentional plans to spend time together outwith the context you are in. Where does reciprocity in intiation sit?