I've Been Struggling with Breastfeeding and Solo Parenting
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ส.ค. 2023
- I've been struggling a bit with breastfeeding and realised that this vlog was mainly me talking about exactly that, so here we go - i've been struggling with breastfeeding....and i don't know where to go next!
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A fed baby is a happy baby however that may be so just don’t put pressure on yourself either way and do what works for you and fits in with your life!
Totally agree
I am usually a silent subscriber Shan, but I think I speak for a lot of people Shan when I say you are the most REALISTIC mom on TH-cam, you are such a fantastic mum and your two kiddies are so lucky to have such a determined mum like you! You are smashing this mum life of 2 out of the park, and I & a lot of other mums out there thank you for how honest and refreshing it is to see you share your experience because it looks a whole lot similar to a whole lot of people! Keep being you Shan 🫶🏻♥️
Shan, you're doing amazingly. Two kids, solo parenting and establishing breastfeeding now with a tongue tie is such a lot. Don't underestimate what you're managing to achieve each day. My first had a tongue tie, diagnosed at 3 weeks, snipped on the NHS at 6 weeks. That was in 2019. It was the quickest procedure ever, literally seconds. And it did change things for us with bf. I HATED it for a long time for various reasons (whilst also loving the convenience, comfort etc) but he went on to be EBF for 8 months as he wouldn't take a bottle at all. He's 4 now and the chattiest boy ever. I did read that if you don't have the TT cut it can affect speech later on, but check that for yourself. I have a 2y2m gap between my boys and the transition from 1 - 2 was so intense. We combi fed from day 2 but didn't have the TT issues with my 2nd. Right decision for us and I mentally couldn't do EBF again. He is now 2 and still a big bottle lover! Do whatever works for you and your family and feel no guilt. I don't for the way we did it second time round. Happy mum happy baby and all that! Xx
I don't understand all the pressure and pushing for mom's to breastfeed, especially when it causes so much stress, anxiety, pain and exhaustion! And Dad's or other parent can't properly share the load to give you a break. There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula feeding with bottles! Happy baby happy Mom ❤ x
I've never seen a video more relatable, this was me exactly a year ago and it's bringing back so many memories and emotions. You're killing it and you're right it's just a stage in life! The breastfeeding aspect is so stressful I had forgotten that, both mine had tongue ties, I got my second child's cut (she didn't even notice it getting cut) and then breastfeeding turned into a dream! For me my midwife did it there and then on a check up at my house.
Honestly Shan it gets better ♥️ my eldest is almost 3 now and my baby is now almost 11 months and I’m still breastfeeding. It gets so much easier as time goes on, you’re doing amazingly. Just do what is best for you both xxx
My little boy had a tongue tie, the fact you’ve continued to feed through this for 4 weeks is amazing. We had my sons cut at 8 days and it totally changed breastfeeding for me!! He’s now 15 months and still breastfeeding! My advice would be get it done, hopefully it will take away the whole problem of struggling to latch, coming of the boob, her getting frustrated and should make it more comfortable for you xx
Going from 1 to 2 is so hard. Like you, I totally underestimated how it would be and really struggled for a while. Be kind to yourself and accept any help that is offered to you. It does get easier I promise ❤
Do whatever you need to do to get through the day Shan, your little ones are obviously safe, happy and healthy. You go girl!
Dear Shan❤️ I don’t normally comment but I am feeling with you so much right now! My daughter has also been diagnosed with a tounge and lip tie. It was a VERY late diagnosis at almost 4 mths! We’ve been having the same issues breastfeeding as you are experiencing. Needed to switch to bottles with pumped breast milk because she wasn’t gaining weight. We finally saw a specialist and got both ties cut. She is doing so much better now! We are far from perfect (at 4 weeks post op) but could go back to breastfeeding❤️ I had an amazing experience nursing my first baby for 2,5 years so I REALLY wanted to make it work. But you should also not feel like you’re not doing enough if it is not working for you! You know what’s best for you and your family❤
Lots of love from Germany
Aw Shan! This video made me go back in time a few months! I have a 17mo and a 4mo and like you my husband is away (he works nights) so I was quickly thrown into solo-parenting apart from 2/3h a day in the afternoon before he goes to work. I also got mastitis week 4 and literally felt like I was going to die. Those first few months were the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Trying to find our routines and feeling like I needed to split myself in two just to make it through the day with the two babies! Now at the 4m mark, it feels like I’ve been doing it forever. Don’t get me wrong, some moments are HARD, but they’re just moments. They pass. Be easy on yourself, do what you need to do to get through - bottles, TV, McDonald’s. Happy to chat if you need ♥️
Pumping apparently isnt a sign of your supply, so you could pump nothing and your baby can get everything they need (they are much better at it than a pump). You are doing amazing 😊 x
You’re doing an incredible job Shan, those babies are so lucky to have you!! Your positivity even when things are extremely tough is admirable, keep smiling 💗
Your doing amazing ❤ our daughter was diagnosed with a tongue tie at a month old and our health visitor referred her for it snipping, the waiting list wasn't long at all and it took less than a minute for them to do it and she was soooo much better at feeding after that, I hope that puts your mind at ease a little bit! My friend chose not to get her daughters done but she has now developed a lisp because of it and is having to have speech therapy so we really wanted our daughters done because of this but it is your choice intirely xx
My son had a tongue tie, he was referred by a breast feeding support worker when he was around 8 weeks and the NHS referral took less than a week and his tie was cut and we were pretty much sorted, so fast. We managed to BF 14 months all together.
You're doing amazing, it really is all consuming and I can't imagine the difficulty with a toddler too ♥️ do what's best for you all, because a happy mum is a happy baby xxx
If I could give some advice, I'd suggest getting a different pump. Wearables are great, but when your supply is establishing, they can be a bit less effective on fully emptying you. I tried them and got mastitis so many times. Turns out that the flange wasn't the right size. I ended up getting a medala one and a spectra one, that was the best choice I ever made. I went from getting such a small amount to being able to fully support baby without formula. While I think fed is best and it doesn't matter what you feed baby, I think mamas should do what is best for their bodies. Mastitis is horrible, it really is. I hope you get better. I saw you are using the cookies! If they have fenugreek in, please don't take them. they can stop your supply!
I found the best for supply to have baby close. Which is so not easy when you are on your own as well as have a toddler! You are doing great!!
Breastfeeding can be tough! My son had a tongue tie which made feeding sooooo hard for the first few weeks and it was exhausting, confusing, frustrating and just all the things! Luckily he was my first so I could put all my focus into him and figuring it out, just not an option when it's your second! We had it snipped at around 2-3 weeks old and it made a difference for sure and we went on to feed for 19 months, BF does get much easier as time between feeds become longer and the cluster feeding days end. Tongue tie is so common now and there's just not enough NHS support unfortunately!
During the early days before the tongue tie was snipped, the only position that seemed to work for us was the rugby hold, he seemed to be able to get a good enough latch to get a full feed in this position... every baby is different though!
Whatever you choose to do, you're doing amazing and fed is best and all that! I have my second due in a couple of months and I know for sure it's going to be much much harder to BF in the early days, especially when they want to be on the boob all the time! I can only imagine how hard it must be for your right now! Do whatever feels best for you and your family and your well being! x
You are doing so well! And Oh my god i have all the respect and find ti amazing that you are sharing something so vounrable. YOU DO YOU - you are smashing it!!
I don’t usually comment but I really felt the need to say how much I relate to you - watching this was like looking at myself when I went from 1 to 2 kids. It’s bloody hard work. My youngest is now nearly 2 and things are getting easier all the time, in my opinion it’s a giant transition. Please don’t put pressure on yourself, you’re doing a fab job and solo parenting which blows my mind! xx
Just wanted to show some support. Shan, you are doing so well. Solo parenting is no joke! Take care of yourself 🎉
Halle's hair 😍😍😍🥰
This is so real to me. I have a 5 month old baby girl and a 9 year old and I even found it hard going from 1 to 2! I remember when Violet was born feeling like how am I going to get through this. But it has got easier 💜 I'm currently spending my days on mat leave with my 5 month old watching all your old vlogs from when George was a baby 🥺💜
Oh Shan, it is so hard at the beginning. For me it was incredibly painful for the first month and I dreaded feeding my daughter. She also had a tongue tie which we got cut and that really did help. We live in Surrey and were referred by our health visitor. The process was really quick and the appt we were given under the NHS was for the following week, so definitely worth getting a referral I think as the wait time really wasn’t long. We’ve been breastfeeding now exclusively for 7 months and it’s going really well. I also think it gets easier as the baby grows and the size of their mouth increases. We came from a point of combi feeding for the first month due to all the issues we were having. All this to say, there is hope if you feel continuing breastfeeding is right for you. I should also mention I have a 2.5 year old at home too and these days I find breastfeeding to be the much easier and more convenient option with him around now we’ve got all the issues sorted out xx
I so feel for you Shan. You are doing a fantastic job transitioning from 1-2 and this phase won’t last forever. It will get better ❤️ I hope you’re able to find whatever works for you ❤️
I can honestly 100% recommend a course called the Thompson Breastfeeding Course. It’s run by a midwife of 50 years or so who did a PHD on nipple trauma and studied primates feeding their young etc.
I bought it during pregnancy and it’s been a lifesaver for me in understanding why baby gets fussy at the breast and our baby has had some GI upset which I’ve managed to resolve with the course. It’s made me love breastfeeding, even when it’s demanding and hard work feeding round the clock ❤️ xx
Shan. You are a super human. Please remember this! You are providing a warm, loving home for your family. So many children don’t have the chance of this, and would do anything for this. Being a full, loved, happy baby/child with a happy, content mumma is all that’s needed. It’s what you’re doing ❤️
We are all behind you, keep going mumma!
You’re doing great, keep pushing through 💪🏻 super mom! ❤
My daughter had a tongue tie and severe reflux. When the tongue tie was fixed it helped so much! Drink plenty of water/ hydration sachets and all the good foods for milk like oats. Also worth pumping in between feeds to help increase supply. Definitely continue the support but it is so so hard! In the end all that matters is your peace of mind and keeping her satisfied. Xx
Your vlogs are saving me mama!!!! I’m a toddler mum (he’s 2 in October) and I have a 1 week old son too! Feel like we are doing it together ❤❤❤ hope I’m a proper mommaaaa vlogger like you some time xxx
What you pump is not usually reflected in what your baby gets ❤
I’ve been there with the self doubt on supply/the pumping top up cycle/tongue tie. It’s not easy, but all is not lost.
If it’s important to you, keep going on the hard days. We had many, but now at almost 11 months it’s so easy. (Obviously been easier much longer than that).
Baby to boob and skin to skin as much as possible is so important for supply. Could put her in the sling doing skin to skin. Also night feeds are important for supply.
Keep going to the support group, mine saved me. You will also be helping other women ❤
You’re doing so well.
Hi Shan. This is the first time I'm commenting- you're doing fantastic with 2 little kids! I'm bf with a toddler and it gets easier once the toddler is used to seeing you feed. Talk to him about what you're doing.
Do what works best for you. You're doing really well! 👏 😊
You are doing soo well looking after two on your own!! I don't know how you are finding the time to vlog and keep smiling. 😊
I have a 6 month old and 3 year old and the only way I managed was to have help. The trenches are hard, especially when breastfeeding. My first had a tough tie. Luckily, it was diagnosed at 2 weeks and cut at 5 weeks. Otherwise I couldn't have continued. It was instantly easier and not painful which was our problem.
With my second, I've found that screen time while I breastfeed helpful with the climbing thing. 😂
You'd doing a great job and asking for help when you need it is amazing.
One thing about going private for toung tie- breastfeeding after is free but formula isn't so it might save you in the long term? But you do whatever you need to get through ❤
With my first baby I tried so hard to breastfeed and beat myself up so much that I couldn’t do it. I tried to combi feed and pump but after 4 weeks I switched to botttles, we were both so much happier (but always had terrible Mum guilt about it), with my second I did so much research and watched videos and she wasn’t gaining enough weight and was so fussy at the boob, I was about to give up when I went to a breastfeeding group. Turns out both my babies (and me) have a 70% tongue tie. I got my second baby’s cut at 2 months, instantly she latched so well and had a 40 minute feed which had never happened before. My oldest is having a few speech problems (she’s 4h and may need an operation to cut hers. It was so easy to get my babies cut I really recommend getting it cut now as it’s still thin and heals quick. However, a fed baby and a happy Mum is the most important thing. Your doing amazing xxxx
You have to do what’s best for you and Hallie , you’ve done so well . Hope it’s not too long a wait for you to get it sorted . Take care xx
You are a total trooper and doing so well! George and Halle are so lucky you’re their mum! I bottle fed and my boy is healthy and happy so whatever you decide is fine
Your vlog just made me smile all the way through. Can't wait to have mine in Jan 💝
My baby had a tongue tie and we got it cut when she was 6 days old. They told us NHS waitlist would be 6 weeks and that was too long for us. It did cost us £200 though. I didn’t think I’d last breastfeeding and nearly stopped so many times but she’s just turned 1 and I am still feeding her twice a day. I did top ups with formula from about 4/5 weeks old because my milk supply was never brilliant (probably due to the tongue tie) and I could hardly express anything either. Just know breastfeeding is still doable if you want it to be 😊.
Your doing amazing Shan, especially creating videos at the same time! I had my heart set on breastfeeding before my daughter was born and when it came to it I couldn't produce much milk. Breastfeeding was harder than I imagined. I felt like a failure as a woman, blamed myself but came through the other side. I've always believed that a fed baby (whether its boob or bottle) is a happy baby. You do what's right for you and Halle ♥
Oh Shan. I can totally relate. I have a 4 week old and a 2.5 yr old in the thick of the terrible twos. Totally underestimated having two kids also! Didn’t think it would be this intense. Also weighing up my breastfeeding journey, it’s not been a straightforward one and also combi feeding is a lot more convenient with toddler running around like you say! You’re doing great, being a mum is harrrd man.
I am really getting deja Vu watching this! I have two boys - 2y4m gap and I combo fed both. They were extremely hungry! What I found worked (after lots of figuring out with first) was alternating feeds. They tended to take small breast feed followed by big bottle feed etc. Last feed before bed was formula and feeds in the night were breast.
1st was tongue tied but I didn’t have it cut as it was posterior and it was fine! His speech is excellent now at 4.
You are doing great!! ❤ It will get so much easier and you’ll find your groove with the two. Sending lots of love and naps!
Me too. My little girl also got fed up with positions and wanted to be outward facing so at 3 months I switched to just bottles and still pumped till 5 months but also topped up with formula bottles. Plus if I'm totally honest I'd just had enough by then, the lack of sleep, having a toddler too really takes it out of u. Fed is best. So proud of how ur doing chick, huge hugs 🥰🥰🥰
How Tham baby s are doing well am off to work tomorrow morning so amber going her auntie Wendy in the morning she sama baby milk every day and night time ❤❤
You're doing so well, breastfeeding is difficult and does take over your whole life! Pumping is hard too and please remember the amount you pump is not always a reflection of your supply. Big hugs x
You really are fantastic hun. I had my 6th same time as you and feel the struggle but to know they are all happy and fed makes it all worth it xxx
Thank you for being so real with your breastfeeding journey and everything else with managing 2 little ones. its so refreshing. Keep smashing it. We can all see that you are doing an amazing job! :)
I used to watch your videos years ago then been so busy having babies I was never on TH-cam then I saw someone say you recommended eyelashes and I was like hang on I know that username and it was you. I am so happy to see you have two kids now as I do too and it's lovely to see ❤ congratulations xx
I know the breast feeding is hard, but that behaviour is completely normal. It's her way of trying to up your supply. Don't let it upset you or stress you out.
As long as her wee and poos are regular and shes gaining weight, you don't need to "top up" with formula. I understand why parents feel the need to when a baby is reaching that way, but you just make life harder for yourself. They find it easier feeding from a bottle than a boob, and the formula is much heavier than breastmilk, so they will learn to prefer that.
Also, what you get from a pump doesn't actually mean anything. You could not get anything out, but that doesn't mean you don't have a supply. If you are worried about your supply dropping because of bottle feeding, try expressing during feeds (all of them, as if she is cluster feeding). This will help boost your supply hopefully. But also be mindful that pumping before 6 weeks (I have no idea how old she is currently) isn't normally advised, as it can cause you to have an oversupply.
You might find it useful to get some correct sized flanges for your nipple size. This will help you pump more, as the suction is in the correct place. Have a look on amazon (measure your nipple and look for a flange around 1-2mm larger).
I hope you stick with the breastfeeding, but if you need to stop it's completely understandable! You have 2 little ones who need and demand your attention, so just do what you feel is right for your family.
Thank you for sharing your life with us all, but please let us help you too ❤️
I'd just like to add that I wrote this half way through the video..
If she's 4 weeks old, she's about to go through a fussy phase of her first leap. Be mindful of this if/when you breast, as it'll add to the stress of feeding with a tongue tie.
I have other mum friends who had their baby's tongue tie cut privately, as the NHS wait was 4 weeks! Too long when it's so early in the journey. Good luck and I hope you get everything sorted soon
You’re doing a great job! My baby had a tongue tie and we were seen within 2 weeks in my area on the nhs and they cut it there and then in clinic, it takes 2 seconds to cut and it is painless for the baby. It’s definitely worth seeing if you can get an appointment! Xx
Hi Shan! My son had tongue tie from birth and we waited months to get it cut, with doctors saying it might work itself out. I was/am exclusively breastfeeding and the journey has not been easy (had mastitis several times). Best decision was to cut the tongue tie which took literally a second and he was absolutely fine. We are now almost at two years of breastfeeding. That said, it is still really difficult, whichever way you choose will be right for you and your little one ❤
Toung tie cut is the shortes cleanest procedure ever ( no blood involved), you would kick yourself for not doing it. Until then use a nipple shield. I’m suprised they didn’t advise you rhat in the breastfeeding group or by your midwife. My son had tongue tie. It sorted the issue very quickly but until then nipple shield from Medela size 22 I think from Amazon and that will help immensly.
Honestly you do whats best for you and your family. Your doing amazing. ❤❤
You're doing amazing ! I also struggled with supply and had to combi feed. Power pumping using a manual hand pump (medela) in the evenings helped me to keep my milk a while longer. I power pumped before going to bed and my partner would give a bottle as a last feed of the day. I managed to breastfeed my daughter for four months in the end. Good luck and don't put too much pressure on yourself ❤
I’m so with you on the love it but also hate it right now. You got this mama!
I honestly still feel a bit mentally scarred from the first 6-12 months of having two 😂
You’re doing great, deep breaths and keep repeating “it’s all a phase, this too shall pass”!!! X
I had my little one in July last year and we struggled with extremely painful breastfeeding for 4 months. She was feeding for up to 5 hours a day inefficiently and I was sat gritting my teeth with every feed and up all hours of the night with her. I started to develop an aversion but was so stubborn and refused to give in. Unfortunately she wouldn’t take a bottle either! We spoke to the Health Visitor team and were referred to a lactation consultant. Baby had sessions with a chiropractor to loosen her neck stiffness and a tongue tie released. The difference was phenomenal and we have been happily feeding ever since! She is now 13 months 🎉 Try speaking to you HV maybe? Also have you tried a smaller flange on your pump? That makes a massive difference sometimes if you are using the wrong size. My Elvie flanges were huge on me, had to order the 17mm ❤
Hi Shan you're doing amazing! Fed is best. Just a bit of information regarding tongue tie, I grew up with a tongue tie and have struggled with speech and pronouncing words, I get hiccups frequently and also a very messy eater haha! My son who was prem also had tongue tie and we had so many feeding issues both with breast and bottle and I was adamant I wanted his tongue tie cut and was told on NHS I could be waiting 6 months! I decided to go private as they recommend getting it done before the 6 month mark as it's a lot easier and Baby doesn't have nerve endings there yet. Cost me 250 privately, a tongue tie nurse came to my house, did the procedure and it was over within seconds my son who was 8 weeks old at the time didn't even cry or flinch and since having it done he's been feeding so much better we breastfed for another' month afterwards but like you struggled with my supply so switched to formula he's nearly 5 months and he's thriving. So personally I would recommend getting it done if you can x
Breastfeeding is hard work and it's ok for you to feel this way ❤️ I bottle fed my two oldest children and breastfed my younger two children and when you get the hang of it I promise breastfeeding is so much easier, no washing bottles or sterilising and you can just carry baby around whilst feeding, you won't always feel trapped underneath her ❤️ my youngest is currently 10 weeks old ❤️❤️
Please know that what you can pump isn’t necessarily an indication of your supply!
My son did the exact same thing around that age it was such a stress. He kept pulling off arching his back crying turned out my milk was coming down too fast for him to swallow and I didn't realise. My HV told me to breastfeed leaning back (slows the flow down) or laying down with baby to the side of me and it helped massively. The extra milk could then dribble out his mouth. The problems disappeared my supply evened out eventually and we made it to 2 years breastfeeding. Definetly try laying down on a bed on your side and have her lie next to you on the boob sideways until she gets used to your milk flow. Hope that helps :)❤
I relate to a lot of this! My little one had a tongue tie. We had it cut at 2.5 months and it definitely helped her weight gain and my supply. We combi fed until 6.5 months when she was not particularly interested in breastfeeding anymore and I felt it was the right time for us to stop. Tongue tie definitely doesn't have to stop your feeding journey completely if you don't want it to. At the same time, allow yourself to do what feels right to you. So hard not to put pressure on yourself even when logically you say that you won't (I know because I did exactly the same) but she will be fed and happy whatever you decide is best x
I promise you it gets easier! My little boy is now 10 weeks and was diagnosed with CMPA at just under 5 weeks so went soy and dairy free myself and 5 weeks later he is a different baby x
This was me 2 years ago! It does get easier. Keep doing what you're doing! Try to pump on the other side when she is feeding. I also found that if you don't breastfeed for a while, they would 'fill up' and I could get a good pump in. Xx
My son had a tongue tie and it was cut at about 10 days old on the NHS. We were booked to get it done privately but our health visitor pushed the team to give us an appointment so that they could assess him and make sure it was only cut if necessary. It meant waiting 2 days longer but this was didn't cost anything. He cried briefly having it done but was fine again within minutes. The latch gradually improved in the following weeks as he adjusted to being able to move his tongue better and I'm still breastfeeding a year later. 😊 x
My little boy had an undiagnosed tongue tie and we struggled for 12 weeks. NHS wouldn’t refer him so I just researched private practitioners in my area, a specialist midwife came to the house and snipped it. It was so quick, easy and painless for him. It cost about £180 (i’m in the north east so prices may be different), but it was so worth the money. Highly highly recommend it. I too struggled with breast feeding so made the decision to formula feed and it was the best decision I made for us! Well done for sticking with it, but you have not failed in the slightest if this is the end of your bf journey. Lots of love, you’re doing amazing! Xx
Have you tried feeding with nipple shields? My little girl was very petite, had a tongue tie and struggled to latch. Nipple shields are the only thing that made our feeding journey possible! Might be something for you to look into. Your doing amazing shan! Those first 6-8 weeks are draining! Xx
Definitely get the tie cut, I got it done privately and it helped massively with feeding! Even if you go for it on the NHS and you bottle feed you may notice clicking when they bottle feed it the jaw overcompensating for the tie.
Hey Shan, it really does get better I promise. The first few months are hard but it does get easier and I would 100% have the snip for the tongue as it will help no end. I’m still breastfeeding my boy at 2 and a half so it definitely gets easier. Sending so much love to you ❤❤
10 minutes in and this really brought me back to breastfeeding days which unfortunately for me were just not good💔
Feel you darling, you’ve got this x
I really look up to you as a military partner. My partner is in the Army and although we don’t have any kids yet, it’s definitely on the cards soon. I love that you don’t sugar coat it, I know what’s to come, excited and nervous!!❤
I lasted 3 days with my little boy, he had a tongue tie and it the constant coming on and off latch like you describe is what we also experienced. To be perfectly honest it was hell for us and I think you’ve done amazing to keep trying til now! We were Jan 2021 so still in lockdown and the support was non existent. Switching to formula was the best decision I could have ever made. So much so that this tome(I’m currently 27weeks pregnant) I am going to harvest colostrum but then exclusively bottle feed from the get go because I’m so comfortable with it now and I feel no guilt about that. Please please don’t feel pressure to keep going if you’re not happy, the haters will always hate no matter what you do! Do what’s best for your entire family. Also regarding the tongue tie, we got it cut privately at 8 weeks, think it was around £200 but that was in Manchester. He was suffering badly with wind because I think he was taking in too much air when feeding. It did seem to help, plus I didn’t want it to affect his speech in the long run which I read could happen. I hope you manage to find a way to make it all work for you. I’m following your journey closely due to having the exact same age gap between the two when baby is born so looking to you for all the tips haha. Sending love 🤍 xx
Your doing amazing! I am similar time with my first baby and have my husband working at home and still really struggling. No idea how you are managing!
Don’t be too hard on ur self lovely I went from one to 2 then 2-3 , my oldest is tonge tie ended up just bottle feeding her she’s now 7 and thriving , you have to do what is best for you but ur doing amazing job , does get easier tho xxxx
Hi Shan, please don’t feel disheartened. My little boy was the same when he was this tiny - he also had a tongue tie and came on and off a lot and it wasn’t fun! It got better as soon as it was snipped. I can’t imagine dealing with that while also having a toddler to look after as well so if bottle feeding works better for you then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that x
Also the amount you pump is usually not a true representation of your supply. I rarely pumped a decent amount but exclusively breastfed for 13 months so obviously was producing plenty! x
Whatever you’ve decided to do that’s fine but I wanted to share that I struggled to breastfeed both of my babies for a couple of months, I was expressing after each feed to top them up. People were telling me to give up but I persisted and it got easier for me. I breastfed my first for 20 months and I’m 11 months into my second. I turned the corner, but some people don’t. Just another side of the story because when everyone was encouraging me to give up I’d of appreciated some other kind of support x
My 9 month old had her tongue tie cut at 8 days old on NHS, the appointment was a couple of days after the feeding team found her tongue tie so didn't wait long. Procedure itself was over so fast. My little girl still struggled with her latch after this though and I fed her using nipple shields until she was nearly 5 months old. In all honesty i wish I hadn't pushed myself to go on for that long, she's been just as happy on bottles. I'm still glad we had the tongue tie cut though as she couldn't stick her tongue out at all before! You've just got to do what works best for you and what you feel comfortable with❤
My son had a tongue tie and it was diagnosed when he was born during covid. The tongue tie surgery wasnt being carried out by the NHS in our area during lockdown so we debated whether we should go to a private surgeon. We ended up going for it and it was the best £100 spent! He wasnt feeding well before we went in, the surgeon did a small snip and then just like magic he started feeding perfectly!! Managed to feed him until 18 months after that.
When my little one was diagnosed with a tongue tie the hospital feeding team organised an additional clinic to sort him quickly so we could carry on feeding as we were struggling so much. So he was assessed on the Sunday and sorted by Thursday the same week. I didn’t actually make a difference for us and my supply was low from the beginning and never improved. It may or may not make a difference but I’m glad we tried so at least I knew xxx
My little boy had his tongue tie cut at 5 months old. Took so long for someone to listen to me when I had concerns that there was a tongue tie there. I did it on the nhs and it was super quick, had an appointment within two weeks and it was cut within a second. He cried at the time which wasn’t nice to see but apparently it isn’t painful as there isn’t a lot of nerves in that area. He was also completely fine right after. He slept better ate better. Everything changed it was great! Really recommend it.
Pumping gave me mastitis. When I stopped pumping and exclusively breastfed, it worked better. Of course fed is best! No pressure, just letting you know. You doing great! So much respect for you doing this solo❤
Hi Lynn, loving your videos at the moment and would love to see more 😊 would love to see the baking and also maybe some cleaning video's. Also just want to say, your house looks stunning!! Maybe some homeware halls from where you buy your homeware😊 xx
I don’t want this to come as judgmental, purely for information. I was told by the midwife not to combo feed until breastfeeding was established as it causes confusion to the baby, plus bottle is much easier for a baby to get milk from. It won’t take long for you to establish a routine with breastfeeding but it will be mush easier for you if you do one or the other. I would also add that the fussiness could be down to the antibiotics you are having, although it is safe to take antibiotics when breastfeeding it can cause tummy problems in baby so it is advised to take a probiotic at the same time. My daughter was exclusively breastfed and I got mastitis when I went back to work as I missed a feed, after taking antibiotics she was so uncomfortable and unhappy as it was affecting her poor tummy. Just something to consider xxx
My wee boy had a tongue tie too - I had such a difficult experience with breast feeding in the first few weeks before we got it cut, the process was really not that bad it took 5 mins and just put him straight on the boob afterwards, for us it wasn’t a miracle cure, we did lots of skin to skin while feeding (also in the bath) this helped a little, but honestly some babies just don’t get along with it that well and are better suited to a bottle and that’s okay! We ended up switching to formula full time after 5 months of breast feeding and feeding expressed milk - I even tried exclusively pumping which was actually the most exhausting and worst of all!!! Honesty Shan, just do what feels right for your routine and family, don’t feel like you are letting anyone down but not continuing with breastfeeding, Halle has already got so much out of it in the first month and that’s an incredible achievement ! But I really do understand how much it consumes your whole heart and the anxiety and emotions that come with it are not talked about enough!!! You will always make the best decision for your own baby and you are doing brilliantly girl! ❤ x
My 17 year old was born with a tongue tie and we just left it and waited to see if it affected him. He was bottle feed though but no problems. We only remembered recently he even had one and it hasn’t made any difference to him throughout his life. By the way you’re doing amazingly well. I’ve had 5 children and have only managed to fully breast feed my youngest. You’re doing brilliantly and this phase will pass soon ❤
Hi Shan, I totally understand the stress that comes with breastfeeding but it gets easier. Oats helped me with my supply. So try having that for breakfast if you aren’t currently.
Hi Shan, I usually don't comment here! But... This was me 18 months ago. You can only do what you can deal with!! My daughter was the exact same...fussing breastfeeding afternoon through until bedtime. Apparently it is normal.. Naturally mothers supply drops at this time so hence the fussing and non stop feeding throughout evening. I was told it is essentially baby putting in their order of milk for next day 😅 We pushed through it and it settled by 4/6 months. My baby didn't have a tongue tie though but was diagnosed with neuroblastoma.. A childhood cancer and loved to feed for comfort so we persisted but I was very unhappy and wasn't a pleasant mother to my daughter and son. Your happiness is so much more important to your babies so do whatever works for you. Love your relatable content highlighting the normal struggles we can all go through. Enjoy your beautiful babies!❤❤
No advice on the tongue tie but my little one is also around 4 weeks and I’ve followed your pregnancy along at the same time as mine 💕 I am also in the depths of breastfeeding and finding things tricky so solidarity with you. I am currently exclusively pumping and bottle feeding but with breast milk as that’s what is working best for us at the moment. I was very chilled about the idea of breastfeeding whilst I was pregnant and put no pressure on myself to do it if it didn’t work but then as soon as baby arrived I suddenly felt this weird pressure to breastfeed, very strange! Anyway, no advice or anything remotely helpful but just sending love and best wishes ❤️
My little boy who is 12 weeks old is exclusively breastfed (my 4th baby) I've had the same just a few things from your video - clawing at you is trying to up your supply, the time of day you are having issues is the time where your supply will be lower due to hormones however she will be getting enough as long as weight gain and nappies are ok. The more you give formula the less milk you will make and she might get a bottle preference as it is easier for them to get from than your breast. My baby also had tongue tie and until it was snipped at 8 weeks he acted like she did in the video. However - as long as she is fed that's amazing!
I've fed in every way possible and I'm not going to lie, formula feeding is 100X easier but once established breastfeeding is amazing and so convenient and worth the work for the benefits. Breasts are rivers not lakes and they are never empty! A pump is not an indication of your supply. Good luck xx
The toddler jumping all over you when feeding is so hard especially when you might be a bit tender and baby is hard to latch anyway. I found that the hardest bit. Sounds like you're doing what works for you and your family, everyone's happiness is the only thing you need to worry about x
Shan, I was exactly the same.woth the breastfeeding. When I pumped I was getting 10-15ml my HV was amazing and basically said don't stress yourself out, some people just don't produce enough. I BF for 3 months and then Weaned onto bottles and my LG was sooooo much happier and slept way better. I also felt so much better in myself as the pressure I put in myself BF was unhealthy xx
You are doing amazing! Just thought i would mention my little girl was the exact same - she was so fussy and upset during the day, they also thought it was a tongue tie and turns out she had silent reflux as well
I had no idea because she wasn't spitting up etc but after we put her on omeprozole after 2 weeks she was a different baby - and our breastfeeding was amazing since - shes 18 months and still BF at night :) maybe just something to keep in mind
Your milk supply dips in the afternoon so that explains the fussiness as the flow isn’t as quick as she’s used to. She’ll get used to it but it’s frustrating, try and give her some pumped milk after from your previous feed let down, (haaka pump is great for that) xx
I had the exact same issue, breastfeeding during the night was fine but in the day she was fussy on the boob, never satisfied, etc. It was because she was used to having a bottle sometimes, it’s so much easier for them to feed for a bottle, they don’t have to work for it, get more milk faster etc. So I reckon that’s the issue you’re having. Unfortunately I had to stop breastfeeding at 3 months because my little girl just wanted the bottles (she also had a dairy allergy and terrible reflux). All fun and games. You’re doing amazingly, whatever you choose to do xxx
My daughter had tongue tie which we got snipped. I bottle fed however it helped with reflux and made feeding on the bottle so much easier. I was told that if you wait till they are 6 months plus they need to then be put under GA so we paid to go private which was £200 (latch on Lanarkshire). We did have our daughter on the wait list with the nhs too however we didn’t get an appointment through till her first birthday so are glad we went private as I didn’t want her going under GA so young if I could help it. I hope this helps. I think you’re doing an amazing job your babies are lucky to have you.
Hi, there is hormone that peeks at night and stimulates milk production. So for new moms is a must to feed at night in order to start good milk production. Breaks between feeds should be 3-4 hours. And don't ignore growth spurts then babies could stay at the boob 24 hours and fuss but that is also part of the process of ordering more milk ❤.
You’re doing amazing! I would definitely get the tongue tie cut whether you continue to breastfeed or not, it can affect speech in the future as well as sleep and overall health xx
When we were trying to make breastfeeding happen, the NHS lactation consultant recommended fenugreek supplements to boost supply, we got some from Holland and Barrett. In the end, breastfeeding didn't happen for us for a bunch of reasons, but I thought I'd share the advice just in case it might help you! Also, breastfeeding support groups were amazing for us, really really recommend sessions offered by the NHS.
Can't wait 🎉
I struggled with breast feeding at first and my baby had a tongue tie I did make the decision to have it snipped and I am still happily breast feeding at nearly 5 months. However a fed baby is all that matters! Love this video so relatable xxx ❤
Shan you're doing amazing! When my son was born, I felt like I was breastfeeding pretty much constantly for months. He also had a tongue tie which made it harder for a while. He hated being put down in a bouncer or a bassinet, so it was months before I managed to make a meal, and even then I had to wear him in a sling! If my partner hadn't been there cooking for us, I'd have starved 🤣 I can't imagine how hard it must be with two kids and nobody else to help you. You're absolutely bossing it 💪
Also, breastfeeding does get easier! We're still going at 18 months and it's a joy now.
You are doing great. Solo parenting one is hard work, solo parenting two, breastfeeding and with a dog who also needs attention is like climbing a never ending mountain.
Fed is best. If formula and bottles are going to save your sanity then do it. You can’t look after your babies properly if you don’t look after yourself if it’s causing too much stress ♥️
Tongue tie though my daughter was breastfed, she had it cut privately as it was during Covid times , was around £200. She was 8 weeks old. Very quick and she settled immediately after it was done. It really did help with the latch BUT it didn’t help with the length of time she was ok the boob nor the amount she’d want feeding. Some times I felt like all I did was feed her. By that point she was refusing bottles so I didn’t have a choice but to carry on. If she’d had taken a bottle I’d have not continued breastfeeding as it did really affect my mental health x
Hi Shan, it sounds like you’ve got low supply. I had this with mine and apparently it can be because your body established making less milk during those early days if the baby wasn’t latching well. Pumping every 2-3 hours can help increase it and you can also take a tablet from your gp called domperidone (definitely spelt wrong!) that helps to increase milk supply. Unfortunately my supply never increased enough but my baby was a very tricky feeder.
Also it’s totally okay to bottle feed with formula. I actually wish I made the transition sooner this time as I put so much pressure on myself despite having two under two and feeling miserable bf a hungry baby who wouldn’t latch properly!
Hope that helps and I think you’re doing a phenomenal job strong mama! ❤
As a FTM of a 16 month old, still EBF I really really recommend you see a private lactation consultant. They will visit you at home and sit and watch you feed multiple times, as well as being available on call. It’s not cheap but so worth it. It’s really disheartening to see how down you are about BF, when you are doing the most beautiful and natural thing in the world. Babies are fussy on the boob, it’s normal. It’s not your supply, you’re doing nothing wrong. Your pump output has nothing to do with your supply. Don’t even look! You will up your supply very quickly by feeding as much as you can when she needs it. If breastfeeding isn’t important to you, stop of course. But if it is, seek support. There’s a lot of data regarding BF grief when it hasn’t gone to plan for mothers, and I would hate for that to be the case for you. You’re doing great. Keep going and seek support if you need it. She’s receiving the best nutrients in the world and all because of your commitment ❤
Edit - the lactation consultant will be even more beneficial now you have been told Halle has a tongue tie, I hadnt seen that part before my first comment. You can find the list of IBCLC’s online. Also, you say BF consumes you and I PROMISE that ends and it gets SO easy. You don’t even have to think. It’s literally second nature. You don’t think about supply, latch, position or anything. It’s just like breathing if you can stick it out. Those first weeks are rough. I hope you manage to get there xxx
My son had a tongue tie and was formula fed. He took a long time to feed so we got it cut at 11 weeks. Everything changed for the better after that ❤ although getting it cut is not a nice experience, I’m so glad we did that. You are an amazing mummy xx